Fighting Fursecution: Entry 3 - - - Goodbye, Hello
#3 of Fursecution Journals
Testimony of: June 12, 2006
I was fifteen years old when my mother passed away.
"Take care of your brother. He needs you Dante."
That was the last thing I ever heard my mother say as she passed away right in front of me, her breast cancer finally overcoming her spirit. I watched as several doctors ran into the room, the residents yelling out codes and medical jargon, but it was the attending physician just looking at the clock on the wall that really said everything that had to be said. My face was in tears knowing ultimately that she was gone and couldn't be saved. She went in peace.
My first thoughts were standard. I couldn't really move, my arms were paralyzed from the realization that my best friend had just left me alone on this earth, and that I could no longer be taught what it means to be a good person through her actions. I couldn't speak; my mouth might as well have been bound and gagged. My hands burned intensely as every tear that fell from my cheek hit my hand, running into the open gash that I got from playing football with my brother Chris, a cut which my mother kissed only several hours ago and told me everything will be alright. Among all the things my mother was to me, she was never a liar and I still wanted to believe her words.
Several nurses huddled around me, trying to pull me from the presence of my mother's lifeless shell. After struggling with a male nurse for a minute, I finally managed to pull my strength together and walk out the door and down the hallway to where I could see both my brother and grandma waiting for me. The news must have been written all over my face because as soon as I arrived my grandma looked at me and we both began to cry. I fell down onto my hands and knees', closing my eyes, praying it was all a bad dream I would soon wake up from.
However, it was my brother who gave me no time of day to grieve. As soon as I had closed my eyes, I could hear the sound of his footsteps as he jumped out of his seat and began to run down the hallway towards our mother's room, my heart sinking as I pictured him screaming when he came upon mom like that. I ran as fast as my feet could carry me back down the hallway after him, trying to stop him from his first experience with death. He was only seven, what would he understand about it was all I could think. I was five or so seconds too late to stop him.
We both stood there in the doorway for a minute, a nurse in the room unhooking all the equipment they had placed on my mom. I couldn't help but smile a little bit as I watched my mom's head rest on her pillow, her mouth almost contorted into a half smile. I tried walking towards her bedside, wanting to smell her one more time, to just close my eyes and pretend she was really there with me one last time. My brother however couldn't understand what happened just yet.
"Why's mom sleeping? I wanna go home now Dante. She promised me we would go to the movies tonight when we were done. Mom you can wake up now. Let's go." Chris ran to her bedside and started pushing her, my heart sinking in pain as her lifeless body flailed with his every little movement. I ran over and pushed him hard against a piece of equipment, his shirt catching the corner of the machine, ripping a hole along the arm sleeve. "I'm telling mom on you Dante!" I just stared at him with what had to be the most hateful glare I'm sure I've ever given a person, but I had to tell him the truth. I knelt down beside him and grabbed at his hand.
"I'm sorry Chris but... Mom is... She was really really sick remember? Well, her sickness finally made her so sick that she couldn't handle it anymore and she... she died. She's gone. Do you understand?" I could see his tears building up inside him, my own almost at their breaking point as well.
"But she promised me we would..." It was hard watching my little brother on the edge of falling apart, but I had to keep my head held high for him. Mom asked me to watch over him after all.
"I know she did Chris, but she's gone ok."
"Well why can't the doctors do something? Don't they fix sick people?"
"Yeah little buddy they do, but they just couldn't fix mom." I looked up at her and felt as if my heart was about to explode.
"Well then they're stupid! Doctors are stupid! Isn't there some way to help mom? Dante please help mommy. I want her to wake up." His pleas were admirable, but wasted on me. I was only a little boy myself, trying to share my strength with my brother and trying to keep enough for myself to survive.
"Chris I don't know how to do that. There are just some things people can't change."
"Well then I'll fix mommy. I'll probably need some money or something, but I'll fix her. Doctors are stupid. They should be able to save everyone that's sick." I just looked at him for a minute; angry at his refusal to accept this fate, but who was I to kill his dream of saving people?
"Ok Chris. How about we both try and fix mom ok? It'll be easier if we work together." I was putting up my bravest front as I hoisted my brother over my shoulder, spinning us in a circle to cheer him up, me trying to hide the lie from my face.
"Yay! Thank you Dante! We're going to save mommy together!" I leaned over to put my brother back on the ground, pushing him into the hallway to go tell grandma to come in, him running down the hallway with a renewed smile as I looked back over at my mom. I walked over to her bedside, placed my right hand on her face and brushed a string of her hair from out of her eyes. I leaned down to give her a kiss, but stopped midway and broke down at her bedside. I finally realized I'll never get a kiss back from her anymore. There will be no more peanut butter and jelly sandwiches' ready when I get home from school. I'll never get to help her finish her garden in our backyard anymore. I just maneuvered myself into a little corner and let my feelings wash over me. I am going to miss my mom.
I'm sure I was there for at least fifteen minutes, me finally realizing my grandma must be working magic with my brother to give me a moment alone. I sat back up from my slump, grabbed my mother's partially already cold hand, kissed her cheek and started my descent down the hallway again, taking one last look at her face as I left the room and whispered something inside my head. "I promise I'll take care of Chris. We'll be ok mom; you don't have to worry about us. Just rest now."
Present Day: June 12, 2022
I closed my journal as a single tear rolled down my cheek, me catching it before it graced the pages of my life. I leaned back in my chair and looked up at the glass ceiling, the skylight a dismal gray and no sun to be seen even though time indicated it had already risen. I could hear the sound of soldiers scampering around the complex as I heard a vehicle approaching our location. I sat up from my desk, letting my militant uniform straighten out, my patch on my arm a little dirty as I brushed it off slightly, the words "FLC Captain" becoming a clearer focus to me.
Today marks the sixteen year anniversary of my mom's passing and it still burns at me to this very day. All I could think about was much I hated my brother. He found a way to save everyone else from illness in the end, but couldn't save mom. Why couldn't his cure have been invented sooner? You would be one of them Mom, but you would still be here for me, for us.
"Captain Dante! We've managed to capture the fugitive Wolf Thompson! His transport vehicle is due to arrive in the next three minutes sir!" A lower ranking officer exclaimed as he burst into my quarters, me quickly having to wipe a tear away.
"Good work private. Please see to it personally that our prisoner remains unarmed and is transported to my chambers immediately following his purification cleaning. That will be all soldier; dismissed."
"Glory to the church sir!" The officer saluted as he left my chamber. I wondered over to my window, looking out it down to the entrance where twenty of my men stood ready to assist the detainee. I was eager to see the figure that would exit the van speeding down the empty stretch of road leading to our base. I laughed a little as I indulged in a private thought to myself...
Wow. It's been awhile. Close to a year now I believe. I haven't seen you since you turned into one of them... Chris.