Family (Alisa: 03)
#3 of Alisa
_Note from the Author:
Third installment of my Alisa series.
-Ilveris
Alisa
"Sleep, Love... I have you..."
** Chapter: 03
Family**
The death of the candle brought darkness to the room. There were no windows in the library. Essidus sighed, sat lazily back in his chair, rested his head, and closed his eyes. He'd been up all night and based on the light that now crept beneath the doors of the room, it could be assumed that it was now after dawn. Essidus lowered his hand to his lap and the small animal which lay there. Moonlight returned his affection, stroking himself against Essidus's palm.
He was unable to relax. After a few minutes Essidus opened his eyes and glanced about the room. He could barely see anything in the dark library. She might very well be in the room with him, hidden in the shadows. His ward made it difficult to feel her demonic presence. She didn't seem to require sleep. Wherever she was in the house, he was certain that she was awake...
Essidus was afraid. Alisa was the most advanced demon Essidus had ever seen. She held mortal form and spoke intelligently. Essidus had encountered only two demons before her and both had been small, monstrous creatures. Incompetent and obsessed; the demons had been easily dispatched. They had been little more than animals.
Alisa was an entirely different creature. She had not shown Essidus any of her power, but he was certain that whatever power she held was great and dangerous. Yet it was not Alisa he feared; it was himself.
Essidus needed power. He needed it desperately. His plans would never come to fruition without it and so his decision to keep Alisa alive was a calculated risk. What scared him in the matter was his behavior concerning her. They had been intimate. Twice.
It was utterly inexcusable and one of the most foolish things he had ever done. What had he been thinking? There was no knowing what power that demon held. There was no knowing what power she could exercise through touch... or carnal lust... or a kiss...
Trapping her for his ambitions was one thing. Having sex with her, being so close and vulnerable with her, was another. He had ignored both the warnings of Jon and of his familiar. It had been weakness. Pure and simple weakness. Weakness Essidus refused to believe was still inside him. There must be another factor.
After their last coupling Essidus had come to the conclusion that his actions had perhaps been influenced by Alisa. It was the most obvious answer. A form of magical control or a curse, maybe. If she employed anything like that; however, he had not been able to detect it. The seal he now had upon her also cast doubt on such possibilities.
Essidus had speculated that she might be a Lawithina. They were powerful demons capable of changing the will of men with their own. Lawithina were among the most powerful of demons, but they were also among the rarest. Essidus couldn't be sure that they even existed.
He had spent the last two days pouring over his acquired knowledge. Most of the books which now sat in chaos atop the desk before him were encyclopedias of sorts... but the arcane was no science. Every school had a different mindset and focused on a different aspect of the arcane... and every school used a different rulebook. Some things they could agree on, others they couldn't. In the end the only way to know what was true and what was not was to try for yourself. Everything in the books before him had to be taken with a grain of salt. Nothing in magic could be believed without question.
He had searched for Alisa. Many demons were known, some were even famous. Essidus; however, had been unable to find her name among the ancient pages here. There were no more tomes for him to search.
Alisa had continued her advances since that night, trying several more times to seduce Essidus. Thankfully, he had restrained himself and not permitted further coupling. Still, the fact that he had been with her in the first place was a great and deep concern. With no answers to be found; it was now important that he take what he need and kill her as soon as possible. Every moment she remained here was a moment in which he could again succumb to weakness... or a moment in which she could decide to kill him.
It had taken Essidus nearly a day to enchant the bracelets which now sealed her body and the pendant which sealed her will. They were as powerful as he knew to make... but he did not trust them. Alisa was a demon like no other. He had never even read of a demon displaying the behaviors she had. All that could be known with certainty was that she was here to harm him or someone near him.
Essidus slipped his hand from Moonlight to his pocket. He produced a small key and slipped it to the upper most drawer of his desk. He unlocked it and from it he removed a small, folded, time yellowed piece of paper.
His own weakness frightened him... and he hated it. He hated that weakness more than anything. He unfolded the piece of paper; a letter now nearly seventeen years old.
_Dear Essidus Fellray
Son of the Former Duchy of Bellezza.
To write these words now brings me great pain; though I am certain it is nothing to what you will feel when you read these very same words. I do not know what you have been told of that night; what you have learned of the events that led to the fall of Bellezza... but I must tell you of the part that I played in them.
I did what I did for my own personal gain. I will not lie to you; you deserve the truth. I would do it again. It is not what I did that bothers me, but how it was done. The things that were done to your father and your mother, the things you were forced to see... they were never my intent and I can offer no apologies that could hope to heal the wounds you have sustained._
I am the one who ordered Lord Talmit to subdue your father and mother. I am the one who ordered him to kill them. I did not order him to torture your father as he did. I did not order him to have your mother raped as he did. I did not do these things... but I am responsible. I am the cause of all of your suffering.
So it is humbly that I bow before you and beg your forgiveness; though I expect I shall not receive it.
I can not restore Bellezza to what it once was. I can not bring back your father or your mother. I can not undo the things that were done to them... what I can do is see that their child does not want for food. That he does not want for shelter or clothes.
The courier, who you no doubt stand beside now, carries penance for my sins. An account with the Bank of Avenguard. Within you will find enough to live as you should for the remainder of your days.
It is not enough to fix the wrongs that I have done. It can not even begin. Still I must do this. Lord Talmit has been disciplined for his indiscretion and I pray that you can find some solace in the comforts your new wealth will bring you.
Yours sincerely,
Avian Iralay
Essidus had received the letter via royal courier upon his thirteenth birthday, four years after the fall of Bellezza. Essidus had needed the money. At that time he was a runt in a pack of homeless children who lived in an alleyway behind a brothel. They ate what they could find in the trash and were often beaten by those who lived around them for being dirty, filthy animals; as they had liked to say.
He had been weak... and he had taken the money. What dignity remained of Bellezza died that day; the day he took money from the killer who destroyed his family.
Essidus could never forgive himself for that; for what he had done. After receiving the letter Essidus now held in his hands... and after feeling the shame of his own betrayal; he found himself consumed with hatred and a desire for revenge. Using the funds provided by Avian he began researching the history of Bellezza and those now forgotten events.
He began acquiring names... a list was forged. Everyone who was responsible was on it. And all those on the list, save but one, were now dead; most killed by his own hands. Sir Vitlia had been the first, the first man Essidus had ever killed, and shamed by his own weakness, Essidus told others that it was from Vitlia that he had obtained his wealth. Only Jon knew the truth. Only Jon knew of his life before the streets of Avenguard.
Essidus had never been able to seek revenge on the man who actually tortured his father and raped his mother. He had learned not long after beginning his research that the discipline Avian Iralay mentioned in his letter was that of an execution.
Essidus had killed them all... only Avian remained and Essidus hated him more than any of the others. His hatred went beyond reason or understanding. He hated him with everything that he was. It was he who had destroyed his life, his mother, his father, and Bellezza... the letter only made it worse. He was sorry? He was sorry? Like that was something you could just be sorry for and make all better. How dare he execute Talmit and then try to buy forgiveness from Essidus.
All of his research indicated that the execution of Talmit had caused Avian quite a bit of political trouble. There had been no gain from it. On top of this, Avian had thus far ignored Essidus and his assassinations; his obvious provocations... and so Essidus was forced to believe that Avian's intentions with Talmit had been honorable. That he was really executed for the sins he had committed and now he spared Essidus out of guilt... but that only made it worse. That only made Essidus's rage stronger and his hate more powerful. To be treated like a kid who could be held at arms length...
Only Avian remained. He was powerful... more so than Essidus. And that's why Essidus now kept Alisa alive. The power of such an advanced demon would go far toward strengthening Essidus and his mastery of the arcane. He had to have it.
Essidus was fully aware that he was a bad person. He had chosen a dark path freely and of his own will. He would kill anyone and do anything for his revenge. Anyone...
His thoughts went to the girl. A small rabbit that looked to be five or six. His thoughts went to the look on her face as she walked into the room while Essidus...
He sighed and shook the memory from his mind. He needed to focus. He had no spells available to him with which he could separate Alisa's power from her form. Finding and obtaining one was now his priority. He had sent Kevin yesterday to obtain a quantity of new books from Jerrarell. He would hopefully return tomorrow with a spell that Essidus could use.
For now, Essidus was tired. He returned the letter to its drawer; where it would sit among old newspaper articles concerning Bellezza, notes, and even photos of his family before their fall. He secured the drawer and made his way to his bedroom. Alisa; thankfully, was not waiting for him. She had a way of moving about undetected. He locked the door and found sleep not long after. Essidus dreamt. He always did... and they were always bad.
*** ** ***
There was a knock at the front door. Essidus groaned and slipped from bed. He awoke quickly and began to dress. It was not proper to be sleeping during the day and if it was old man Ulisk at the door he was sure he'd get an earful concerning it. The knock repeated and Essidus slipped from his room into the library. Alisa was sitting at his desk wearing only her slip. Moonlight sat atop the desk beside her. She stared at him eerily as he passed through into the foyer. He closed the door to the library and took a deep breath. Her presence was disconcerting.
The knock repeated a third time and Essidus opened the door. It was Marisa. A young white mouse; she wore a simple ankle length, black dress. Her dark hair was tied back with a beautifully flamboyant orange scarf. She kept her hands clasped respectfully in front of her.
"There you are! Sleeping the day away again, I see!" Marisa said cheerfully, smiling.
Not long before coming into his new found wealth a baby mouse had been found on the streets of Avenguard. Such things were not uncommon and the pack would often tend to them as best they could. The sad truth; however, was that without shelter, food, and a mother... no child unable to already walk upon finding their way to those streets ever survived. That baby mouse had been Marisa. When Essidus left that life behind, with Jonathon at his side, he had taken Marisa with him.
She now lived with old man Ulisk and his sister just a ways down the road. Ulisk was a difficult man to say the least but Essidus endured his mannerisms for he had done well by Marisa. Marisa knew of her past; the short time they had shared on the streets of Avenguard, and her rescue from that certain death by Essidus and Jonathon. Marisa had been able to move beyond it; though, and she lived happily with Ulisk as a surrogate father.
It was a fate that both Jonathon and Essidus might have shared had they been younger, but the boys were too headstrong and had rejected Ulisk's attempts to take them in.
Essidus stepped forward and closed the door behind him. With a demon in the house he thought it wise to firmly establish the coming conversation on the porch. "Afternoon, Marisa. What's the occasion?" Essidus asked, nodding toward her scarf.
"Oh, I just get tired of wearing black." She responded. She held out her arms and twirled for him. "What do you think?" Marisa asked.
The old traditions concerning color were crumbling. "You look lovely." Essidus responded.
"You think so?" Marisa giggled.
Essidus nodded. Marisa was important to Essidus. When he'd taken her from Avenguard she had just been another abandoned baby; one he had taken only because of his shame in accepting the money and because he knew it was the right thing to do... that it was the only good that would come from the money. Somewhere between Avenguard and this place; however, Essidus and Jonathon had started to think of her as a little sister. Marisa was the only person, other than Jonathon, that he cared anything about.
"Did Ulisk send you to harass me out of bed?" Essidus asked.
She shook her head. "Not today. I'm heading over to the lake to pray to the Goddess. I thought you might accompany me...?" Marisa replied.
"The lake?" Essidus grimaced. The lake was a fair distance from here, but it was the thought of having to reject Marisa again that caused Essidus to frown. Essidus and Jonathon had been quite kind to Marisa when she was a child. They had often spent time together, but over the last few years Essidus had been steadily growing more distant. He had pushed Marisa away. The life he now led would endanger her if she remained near to him. Not to mention the pain that it would cause her if she were ever to learn of the things Essidus did in pursuit of his goals.
Marisa did not easily accept his attempts to push her away; however, and continued to this day to try and pry Essidus from his dark life into her presence.
"Yeah, we haven't spent any time together in such a long time. I miss you." Marisa said. Essidus sighed. He didn't enjoy pushing her away. He wished she would just give up.
He turned his eyes away and prepared to respond when he noticed her... Alisa. The door leading from the foyer to the library was ajar and she stood silently in the opening. She stared out the window at Marisa and Essidus with that look of indifference that she always seemed to have. She still wore only her slip. Marisa need only turn to the left and look through the window to see her.
"I, uh..." Essidus managed. His train of thought had been lost.
Marisa's smile vanished and was replaced by a look of sadness. "Have I done something wrong? Do you not like me anymore?" Marisa asked somberly.
Essidus worked quickly to regain his composure. The question was frank and childish; she was still young. He had expected her to confront him about his behavior eventually and he had intended to push her away as gently as possible, but this was not the time or place to be having this conversation.
Essidus shook his head and maneuvered himself so that Marisa stood between him and the house. "Don't be silly." Essidus responded.
Marisa shifted to face him as he moved, turning her back to Alisa. Essidus glanced over Marisa's shoulder. Alisa was staring at Marisa's now turned back, her lips were moving as if she were speaking but he couldn't hear anything. Incantations? A curse? Impossible, she was sealed...
"You've been avoiding me..." Marisa said.
Whatever Alisa was doing, Marisa was in danger. Essidus offered his arm. "Nonsense. Shall we?" he asked.
Marisa hesitated. She stared at him as if surprised by his response. Essidus did not wait for her to decide. He reached out and took her hand gently. He guided her down the steps and away from the house; glancing over his shoulder at Alisa as they departed.
*** ** ***
Pain filled her heart. Alisa stood with her fingers and forehead pressed against the door of her room. Her eyes were closed. She could feel him just beyond the door; he was sitting in the library. The pain was intense. Alisa trembled. It was not a physical pain. Physical pain had little effect on Alisa. She could easily withstand pain that would cause most mortals to faint.
This wasn't physical. It was an emotional pain; a form of pain she had never really felt before. Something in the desk was causing him to suffer. His thoughts were filled with anger, shame, and despair. He hated himself with such intensity... and he was ashamed. It made her heart hurt so. She had felt these in mortals before but she had always severed her connection before experiencing too much. There was never a reason to feel it and so she never had. She would not do that with Essidus. She would never pull away from him.
She wanted desperately to go to him but her presence would only make things worse. He had kept her at arms length the last few days. Her presence would only agitate the situation and so she stayed in her room; pressed against her door. She stayed as near to him as she could; sharing his pain even if he did not know.
Her chest ached. She wanted to cleave herself in two and tear her heart from her body. How could he live with such pain inside him? Alisa had great power, yet she could do nothing for the man she loved. She would trade it all to give him reprieve from such torment.
It was not long before she felt him leave the library. She could feel his pain receding. She had not noticed it when she had been observing him, her ability to feel others was not very powerful when she was in the ethereal, but she now knew that his pain never went away. It was always present; a background on which his soul had been painted. Every now and then it would swell in power and flow forth... consuming him.
She took a deep breath and opened her eyes... she felt him find sleep. Alisa opened the door and slipped into the library. Moonlight's eyes glowed in the darkness of the library. He sat quietly on Essidus's desk; his favorite spot.
"Is he alright?" Alisa whispered.
Moonlight turned his chin up, obviously insulted by her question. Alisa stepped forward slowly, straightened her slip gracefully, and slipped into Essidus's chair. She leaned toward the small fox and whispered into his ear, "I meant no disrespect."
He turned his eyes back to her and defiantly responded. "It's none of your business. We are strong. We will deal with it."
Alisa leaned back. Essidus's bond with Moonlight was powerful. Essidus could not communicate with Moonlight as she could, but she knew that they could feel each other. She could feel Moonlight's anxiety. He was recovering... Essidus's pain was his. They shared it.
She turned her eyes to the desk. Something within had been the cause of his pain. During the years of her observation she had examined as much of the house as she could through sight alone, but she had not dared to step from the ethereal for fear of being detected. She had for a long time held out hope of the house being deserted one day and an opportunity to physically search it arising; and while Essidus did leave the house, Moonlight never did. As a familiar to Essidus, Moonlight was quite powerful himself and just as likely to feel her presence... and so no such opportunity ever arose.
Alisa reached out and touched her fingers to the upper most drawer. Her soft touch was enough the cause the brass lock to open. She pulled the drawer open. Moonlight stood immediately, shocked.
"Get out of there!" Moonlight demanded. He went to the edge of the desk and slipped his paw over the edge trying to shield the contents of the drawer from her.
Alisa could feel his presence growing in strength. She could feel his mind reach out for her; she could feel him try to impose his will on her. She could feel fear nip at her soul.
"Leave." Moonlight whispered in a low, commanding tone. His voice reverberated in her mind; amplifying the fear, fear of him. She could feel the desire to leave; to obey his command and get away... but it was just a twinge.
His boldness continually impressed her. He had no fear of her whatsoever. But Moonlight was no match for Alisa. Essidus was as much Moonlight's familiar as Moonlight was Essidus's. Much of Moonlight's power came from Essidus. When they were apart they were weakened. Without Essidus here; without their wills working in tandem, Moonlight did not have the strength to force such a spell upon Alisa.
Alisa reached forward and slipped her fingers into the drawer. She collected the top most piece of paper; a yellow, folded letter. Moonlight scoffed and sat back down. He crossed his front legs and looked away. "You are beginning to irritate me." Moonlight said.
She ignored his comment and unfolded the paper. She read the short, handwritten message. Son of Bellezza? A duchy? Alisa was not familiar with the various provinces of Oscia. It had never been important before. Avian Iralay; however, was a name that she recognized. In the past she had seen Essidus send him several aggressive, provoking messages.
Iralay freely admitted to the killing of Essidus's father and mother within the letter. There were feelings attached to these actions that Alisa could not fully understand, but she knew enough to understand that something like this would be difficult for most mortals to cope with.
"He signed the letter but he never stamped it with his seal. Neither the courts nor the King will recognize it as Iralay's," Moonlight said. "They're spineless dogs. They won't risk a supporter like Iralay for the justice of a dead Duchy which can offer nothing in return. Not with the war on."
Alisa raised her eyes to the small fox. He still looked defiantly off toward Essidus's door. "So now you know what it is that we seek. You're a demon. I'm sure you can understand that." Moonlight said. He turned his eyes back toward Alisa.
"...and this is what hurts him so...?" Alisa asked in a whisper.
Moonlight scoffed again, averting his gaze once more. "He was young. He saw things he shouldn't have seen." Moonlight responded.
Alisa stared at the small fox. Concepts such as revenge were far easier for her comprehend. Many demons were consumed by such things. Alisa; gratefully, was not one of them. If there was nothing to be gained, then there was no point.
"What I felt in him was directed inward. He hates himself..." She whispered.
Moonlight's eyes focused quickly on Alisa. He did not immediately respond, but she knew what he was thinking. Alisa had revealed something of her abilities to him and he was quickly assimilating the information. After a moment he relaxed some and averted his gaze once more.
"He's made mistakes. Things that he sees as being just as bad as what Iralay has done," Moonlight said. "His desire for revenge is only a vent for the hate he has of himself. The shame and humiliation. He hates Iralay, of course, but those events happened over twenty years ago. He can barely remember them. They aren't enough to keep hate like he has going for so long."
"It does not sound as if you agree with his desire for revenge." Alisa whispered.
Moonlight turned his eyes back to Alisa and responded candidly. "That is because we can not win."
Alisa had not expected that response. She said nothing in reply; listening as he continued.
"He is too hard on himself. I do not believe his mistakes warrant death or so much self loathing; but death is where we are headed. Nothing will change his mind. Not me, not you, not Jonathon," Moonlight said. "But he is my partner and I will follow him to any end."
Alisa didn't know what to think. She had not expected this. Moonlight was a very loyal familiar and she was surprised to find that he had resigned both himself and Essidus to death. Was Iralay that much more powerful than Essidus? He must be for Moonlight to be so certain. The small familiar thought enough of himself to challenge Alisa. To simply give up...
Alisa found herself breathing hard. The thought of Essidus dying troubled her. She didn't know why; she was quite ready to die herself. Why did the same feature in Essidus bother her? It made no sense for her to be more concerned about another's life than her own. She had read about mortals being willing to die for one another; to die for love.
So it was true...
Alisa folded the letter and returned it to the drawer. She then withdrew another yellowed piece of paper. A photograph of a man, a woman, and a small child. She recognized her love immediately... even as a child. This was his family.
Alisa had also had a family once. When she had come to be she had been in the form of a child no more than eight years old. She did not know how or why she came to be. She'd simply awoken and found herself alone in a deserted village near the southern mountain ranges of Jinto. There she was alone for a few days. She never found any of the townspeople, but she'd found blood in some of the houses. There were signs of struggle; broken doors and smashed tables here and there. But there were no animals, no cattle, no people... no bodies.
A mortal couple and their young boy of five chanced upon the village not long after. They were traders and quite surprised to find the village deserted. The father had wanted to leave her there. Wolves did not have blue fur; she was obviously unnatural. To say nothing of the fact that she was also the only living being in the village. He had immediately suspected her of being a demon, sprite, or some other such being.
The mother; however, had refused to abandon a small girl to certain death. With a little work she convinced him to take her and they left that dead place. At the time, Alisa did not know what she was. She lived with her new found family, traveling traders, for over a year. She could still remember their names. Kinsin, Nicole, and little Nerial.
Once they had left that lonely village they never spoke of it again. They never questioned her or accused her; not even Kinsin. Her soul had been ice even back then... but their kindness... their unconditional acceptance of her... the love they had shown her... it wore on her. She'd even begun to call Nicole "mom" as the woman had insisted. Alisa had known the beginnings of happiness.
She could still clearly remember the night it changed; even after all these centuries. They had just tended to their horses and pitched camp in the shelter of a sparse forest. It was a winter night like any other. The ground was coated in fresh snow; a snow which still fell. They had made camp in the wilderness between cities as they had done hundreds of times before. That night would be different.
In the darkness of the new moon Alisa crept quietly amongst her family... and she killed them one by one. Kinsin, Nicole, and little Nerial. She killed them all, silently and efficiently, one by one. They never awoke. They never knew. When her task was done she sat in the fresh snow and watched it fall around her. She could still clearly see the crimson from her hands staining the snow; much as her own crimson had stained the snow white fur of her love not to long ago.
She never knew why she did it. Had she been the demon then that she was now, she never would have. There had been nothing to gain. The slayings had served no purpose.
She disappeared into the wilderness that night. She lived for many years like the lower demons she now despised; preying on animals at random in the wild... devouring their flesh and tasting their blood.
She did not miss her family. She did not love them... but she did regret her actions. She often wondered what would have been different; how her life would have changed had she not slain them. She loved Essidus now... and she loved him deeply; she loved him with every ounce of her being. If she had not slain her family that night, would she have known such love sooner? Centuries sooner...?
Alisa's eyes slipped to the child form of her love which graced the photograph in her hands. Perhaps she had been right to do what she did; for it was love of family that had caused her beloved to suffer so... it was family that had caused him such pain... a pain she could barely stand.
She took a deep breath and returned the photograph to the drawer. Alisa didn't need to see anything else. She knew enough. She closed the drawer and relocked it with a gentle touch.
"Find what you were looking for?" Moonlight asked sarcastically.
Alisa nodded and said nothing in return. She closed her eyes and allowed her thoughts to drift to her sleeping love. She would give anything to run her fingers through his soft fur, to feel his warmth, his kiss...
There was a knock at the door. Alisa opened her eyes and turned her gaze toward the front of the house; the direction of the knock. She could not sense beyond the walls of the house; she could not feel the source. The knock repeated a second time. A moment later Essidus's door opened and he emerged from his room. Alisa stared at her beautiful love while he traversed the library; making his way from his room to the foyer. He eyed her cautiously.
Essidus slipped into the foyer without saying a word, sealing the door behind him. Beyond the door Alisa heard the knock repeat a third time followed shortly by the opening of the front door.
Alisa rose gracefully to her feet and made her way toward the foyer door.
"What are you doing?" Moonlight demanded.
She did not respond. She opened the door about halfway and peered through. The front door was closed and the foyer was empty, but Essidus was visible through the windows. He stood on the porch along with a white mouse girl. She had seen her before... Marisa. She held out her arms and twirled for Essidus.
"Why don't you just give up? He'll never love you." Moonlight said.
Alisa glanced to her side to find Moonlight lounging on a nearby shelf which provided a good view through the door. Alisa turned her eyes back to Essidus and the mouse girl. Essidus said something and the young girl giggled in response. Alisa's hearing was far sharper than any mortals, but the seal placed upon her prevented her from hearing all but the loudest noises beyond the walls of this house.
"Even she has a better chance than you." Moonlight said. He flicked his tail mockingly.
From what Alisa had seen of Marisa in the past, it was obvious the girl was in love with Essidus. Even now it was visible in her eyes. Alisa recognized it easily; they shared the same eyes for him. "He doesn't have to love me. It is enough that I love him." Alisa whispered.
Moonlight scoffed. "No, she loves him. She's his only hope for life. If you really care about him, you'll stay out of her way. Her love is the only thing that can stop him." Moonlight replied.
Essidus noticed Alisa through the window. He stared at her for a few moments and then moved down the porch a ways. The mouse girl followed Essidus's movements; turning her back to Alisa.
The mouse girl's love for Essidus was evident in each situation where she had seen them together... even now. In each case; however, Essidus either completely ignored it or was completely oblivious. She had always thought that it was the former; that he was to intelligent to not notice, but she now knew he thought himself unlovable. Such a belief might be blinding; perhaps he really was oblivious.
Moonlight's words did not worry Alisa. The mouse girl was no threat. She was young and blinded by her feelings. She could never be what Essidus needed. She could never need him as Alisa did. She did not believe Moonlight saw her as any hope. "She's not suited to him." Alisa whispered.
"Oh, and you are?" Moonlight mocked.
Alisa nodded. "Yes. We are alike." Alisa responded with a whisper.
Moonlight laughed. "You're nothing alike, Demon," Moonlight said. "She's a kind and caring person. She's filled with love. He is also capable of great love; he just needs her to heal him enough to let it out. They're the same. I've known him longer than you so don't tell me you're alike. You're a demon, a monster, a killer. You'll never be like him."
Alisa turned her gaze to Moonlight. She didn't understand. How could he think this mouse girl was more similar to Essidus than she? "We both kill for..." Alisa began.
Moonlight jumped to his feet and interrupted her. "You're a murderer! Not him! Don't you ever say that," Moonlight shouted. "He doesn't kill like you do! It's not the same!"
Alisa said nothing. Moonlight was loyal and fearless... but he, too, was naïve. He seemed unwilling to accept his master for what he really was. He was unwilling to accept that Essidus was a murderer... just as she was.
Alisa turned her gaze back to her beloved. She had no desire to anger Moonlight. She would not press the issue. Alisa watched silently as Essidus took the mouse girl's hand. She blushed profusely in response and allowed herself to be led away.
Alisa was not concerned. The mouse was no threat. She was not suited to him. Alisa's eyes met Essidus's when he looked back one last time before they disappeared together amongst the trees. She opened the door fully and stepped into the foyer. She went to the window and pressed her fingers gently against the cold glass.
*** ** ***
Alisa awoke to a cold touch on her hip. Even in sleep she could recognize the touch of her love. She awoke and slowly rolled onto her back turning her gaze toward Essidus who now sat on the edge of the bed. The sky beyond the window was now dark. Rain pounded the glass pane. After Essidus had left, Alisa had found her way to his bedroom; to his bed... to his scent. There she had found sleep.
She could see Essidus clearly in the darkness. He was soaked in freezing water. His face was somber. He was in pain. Terrible pain. Her heart ached for him. He had done something. He hated himself all the more.
Alisa sat up slowly and reached out. She touched her warm, dry fingers to his ice cold cheek. "Oh, Essidus..." She whispered.
He reached up and took her hand gently in his. He took her bracelet and smoothly slipped it off. "...just do what you came here to do..." Essidus whispered.
He had broken the seal. He wanted her to kill him? What had he done? Did he kill the mouse girl? Alisa could smell no blood on him. She did not believe Essidus would kill the girl. He cared for her to much to do such a thing. No. He was mortal and they did not so easily resort to killing. Her immediate assumption of death was but the reflex of a demon. No, something else had happened. What had happened? What had been said?
Alisa slipped her hand forward; back into the bracelet. "I am yours. I love you, Essidus... that is the reason I am here." Alisa responded in a whisper. She leaned forward to slowly kiss him.
Essidus tightened his grip on her wrist painfully. He stood, pulled her from bed, and shoved her toward the door. "If you can't kill me then get the fuck out!" He roared.
Alisa stumbled a few feet toward the door and turned back toward her beloved. He was in more pain now than she had ever felt him in before. What had he done?
It didn't matter. He was in pain. He needed her. Alisa could comfort him. She would warm him, love him, hold him... She stepped forward.
"I said get out!" Essidus shouted after a single step. Alisa stared silently. He needed her... she could feel it. He wanted to let her hold him... he wanted to be with someone, anyone... he wanted to feel loved. But he wouldn't allow it. He hated himself to much to allow it.
"I love you, Essidus. I have given you my heart and my soul..." Alisa whispered. She reached up and slowly slipped the straps of her slip off her shoulders. It fell silently down her form; collapsing around her ankles. "...and if you so need it, I will give you my body." Alisa whispered.
His frustration peaked. He stepped forward and grabbed her shoulders. He shook her hard. "What!? Why!? Why do you do this!?" he demanded.
Alisa knew that there was nothing she could say that would satisfy him. He would never truly believe that she loved him. Alisa did not respond with words. Instead she slipped her hands to his sides. They carefully found their way beneath his wet, freezing clothes to the fur beneath... to skin and contact...
Essidus shoved her away once more. "Just go..." he said quietly.
She could feel the anger slipping away. He was being consumed in sorrow. Alisa wanted to know what had happened, but easing his pain was more important. He needed comforting... He needed love... Not questions. Not words.
She stepped forward once again. She took his face gently in her hands and brought her lips to his. She met no resistance and they kissed; her tongue tenderly exploring his mouth. His pain had sapped his strength. He could resist no longer.
She lowered her hands gently from his face. She ran her delicate fingers through his wet fur and slowly down to his shirt. She unbuttoned it leisurely, freeing the beautiful white fur trapped beneath.
Their lips parted. "Why...?" Essidus whispered.
He simply couldn't understand... but that didn't matter. Alisa tugged his shirt free and allowed it to fall to the floor. She placed her hands on his chest and pushed softly. He sat back onto the bed; he offered no resistance. She dropped silently to her knees and reached down, removing his boots. She set them aside and softly slid her fingers up his leg. Her fingers soothingly found their way to his waist where she loosened his pants. Essidus stared at her as she worked. He still didn't understand.
Alisa tugged at his pants; pulling the wet clothes from his body. She dropped them on the floor and stood. He looked up and their eyes met. His beautiful, gray eyes were filled with pain. She had not known that he was so troubled when she fell in love with him... but knowing now; nothing had changed.
She loved him utterly... and she desired only to bring him comfort... to bring him peace. She reached down and took his hands. She guided him back; helping his head to find the pillows. She slipped silently into the bed with him and reached down to pull the covers lightly up and over them.
Alisa pressed herself gently to his side; she eased her entire body against his. He was freezing... shivering, but she didn't care. She would warm him. She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her muzzle to his neck. She kissed him softly and held him tenderly.
"Sleep, Love... I have you..." Alisa whispered.
He trembled in her embrace... he trembled and cried. Alisa did not understand tears; she had never cried, but she could feel his pain. She warmed him and held him close while he cried... and she continued to hold him into the night, guiding him to sleep when it finally came.
She nuzzled his neck softly as he slept. She had helped him. That's all that mattered.
_Final Thoughts:
Most of this chapter was written on the road at various hotels. Just made a 2,000 mile trip across America from Phoenix, AZ to Nowhere, SC, my new home.
Anyway, I'm happy with Alisa so far. I like to call on my characters for multiple stories, kinda like actors playing different parts in different movies. She might just be interesting enough to make the cut. I don't make new characters that I'm happy with often. Essidus is an established character (personality wise) and quite old._
Wasn't entirely sure how to classify this one. I wouldn't call naked cuddling "clean" though it is certainly tame.
Zero sex this time. I have a hard time sacrificing plot for sex; though I do like my sex. Still, it'll happen when I feel it should happen. Speaking of plot... it's crawling. I might like Alisa the character, but I'm not to sure about the story itself. I'll see if I can't move things along some in the next chapter.
-Ilveris
Completed 3/02/2007