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Broken Home

Chapter Five

© Cederwyn Whitefurr

11th January, 2024

All Rights Reserved.

The next morning, Alexander awoke, sensing the warmth of the deer still nestled beside him. He raised his head slightly, observing the rhythmic rise and fall of the hermaphrodite deer's chest. However, as he shifted, he noticed the deer's tail twitching in an unexpected manner.

No! Alexander's mind protested.Stop, wake the deer, move or something!

Urges, dormant and forgotten, surged through Alexander, catching him off guard. He hastily rolled away, startling the deer from its peaceful slumber. Its eyes widened in terror, ears perking forward as its body trembled.

"Easy, little one," Alexander whispered.

The deer, ears flat and cowering, leaped off the bed. Alexander, overwhelmed with regret, sat on the bed, placing a pillow across his lap.

"Hey, easy, easy," he murmured. "I'm sorry; I did not mean to startle you. It's okay, really! I was..."

The deer, still quivering, looked up at him with tearful eyes. Self-chastisement echoed in Alexander's thoughts.

"It's not your fault... what... please, forgive me?"

He extended his paws in a conciliatory gesture. After an anxious pause, the deer tentatively stretched its neck, placing its chin against Alexander's fingers.

Despite the lingering awkwardness, Alexander exhaled, relieved the deer hadn't fled. He withdrew his paws, and as he sat, the deer glanced up at him through long eyelashes, un-shed tears glistening.

"I shouldn't have done that," Alexander mentally scolded himself. "It was an accident, unintentional. It's not your fault," he said aloud. "Please, forgive me."

Warily, the deer stared at him for a moment before sniffling and timidly placing its chin against Alexander's outstretched fingers.

Alexander sighed, realising the delicate situation he found himself in. Gently, he stroked the deer's cheek, trying to convey reassurance through touch.

"Shhh, it's alright," Alexander murmured, infusing his voice with kindness. "I'm sorry. I did not mean to cause you distress. What happened was not your fault."

The deer, still on edge, looked up at him, tears welling in its eyes. Alexander could sense the fear and confusion emanating from the sentient creature.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I didn't mean for that to happen. It was an accident, truly. Your trust means a lot to me, and I would never intentionally hurt you."

The deer, though still apprehensive, sniffled and stretched its neck, allowing a tentative touch from Alexander's paw. He continued to stroke the deer's fur with care, mindful of its fragile emotional state.

As the tension in the air slowly dissipated, Alexander decided to address the underlying issue. "I want you to feel safe with me. I won't let anything harm you. We're in this together, trying to navigate through the unexpected turns life has thrown at us."

The deer, now looking less terrified, gazed at Alexander with a mixture of curiosity and vulnerability.

"I know things are strange for you," Alexander continued, "and I'm learning as we go along. I never expected to find a sentient feral in my cabin, but I want to help you find safety and trust."

He moved a bit closer, maintaining a respectful distance. "If there's anything you want or need, I'm here to listen. I made a promise yesterday not to hurt you for talking, and I intend to keep that promise."

The deer, its muzzle opening and closing nervously, finally whispered, "Frightened."

Alexander responded by lying down on his side and carefully moving closer, allowing the deer to feel the comfort of his presence. "You're frightened. I understand. Take your time, and when you're ready, tell me more. I'm here for you."

The deer began hesitantly, "Hurt...deer."

Feeling a pang of sorrow for the creature's past, Alexander placed a paw on its shoulder, providing a gentle caress. "Who hurt you?"

The deer, now on the verge of tears, admitted, "Like you..."

Understanding dawned on Alexander, and he nodded sympathetically. "Humans hurt you. I'm so sorry for what they did."

The deer, seeking solace, brushed its leathery nose against Alexander's neck, whispering, "Cold... here - heavy..."

Alexander listened, holding back his own emotions as the deer shared its painful memories. He could feel the weight of the trauma in its words.

With a soothing tone, Alexander reassured, "They'll never hurt you again. I promise you. I'll protect you. Humans can be bad, but not all of them. The one who came when you hurt your leg, he's a good human, a friend."

The deer, still processing, frowned, attempting to find words. "Hurt... deer - sharp... hurt."

Alexander patiently explained, "That was an injection, with a needle. It wasn't meant to be cruel. It was meant to help you. If he had known what you are, he would have been more gentle. I'm sorry he hurt you."

As he spoke, Alexander's heart ached for the suffering the deer had endured. He wished he could undo the pain and erase the memories. Alexander continued to stroke the deer's fur tenderly, trying to provide comfort in the face of such profound trauma.

"I am so sorry for everything that happened to you," Alexander spoke softly, his voice carrying a genuine compassion. "If talking helps you heal, then please, talk to me. If you want comfort and to feel safe, you may tell me that as well."

The deer, lifting its head to gaze into Alexander's eyes, seemed to find a glimmer of sincerity in his words.

With a trembling breath, it continued, "Humans - hurt me... kept me."

Its eyes briefly shifted to the area on its neck, marked by a collar, before the hoof touched its own neck in a painful recollection. "Afraid - they... they did painful things, hurt me - beat me when I cried or bleated in pain and fright - then hurt me worse - often making me do things - things that made me sick or hurt..."

Alexander listened, the weight of the deer's revelations settling heavily on his heart. He realised the immense strength within the creature, having endured unimaginable suffering and degradation, and yet, somehow, escaping its captors and fleeing for its life.

"You've shown incredible strength and will to survive," Alexander whispered, his voice full of admiration and respect.

To escape from such torture and abuse into the wild, not knowing how to survive or find shelter - it's remarkable. Alexander thought to himself.

As he continued to stroke the deer, a plan formed in Alexander's mind. He decided to reach out to Richard, the compassionate veterinarian who had helped him before. Perhaps he could offer additional support in healing the mental scars that lingered.

"I'll do everything I can to help you overcome the trauma," Alexander assured. "You don't have to be afraid anymore. I want to show you kindness, mercy, and happiness. However I can, I will try my hardest, I promise."

With a gentle nudge, the deer sought comfort in Alexander's presence. He continued to stroke its fur, the burning desire to provide solace and healing driving him forward.

"I'll reach out to Richard," Alexander said, making up his mind. "He might know a way to further help you heal. Physical wounds may have healed, but the scars remain. I won't leave your side unless you want your freedom."

The deer responded with a nuzzle, seeking assurance. As Alexander continued to caress its fur, he realised the depth of his commitment to helping this broken soul.

"I am here for you," Alexander whispered. "You've been through so much, and I want to help you find peace."

With each stroke, Alexander silently vowed to do whatever it took to bring healing to the wounded spirit before him.

With a subtle nudge, the deer brushed its nose against Alexander's chest, a silent plea for comfort. Alexander looked down, his heart warming at the gentle interaction between them.

"I... earlier," the deer began, its voice soft and hesitant, "on the bed."

Alexander shook his head, his touch still tender as he resumed stroking the deer. "No, forget that happened. It was an accident, and I'd never intentionally do something like that to you."

Twitching its ear, the deer contemplated Alexander's words. Its expression shifted from curiosity to concern, and a veil of fear and hesitancy returned. "I..."

Alexander gently guided the deer's head back, cradling it between his paws, his eyes locking onto the deer's gaze with a look of trust and respect.

"I misunderstood," Alexander clarified, "what I meant to say is that one day, if - and I emphasise IF - you trusted me enough, I would extend you such an offer. It would strictly be on your terms; I'd never attempt to exploit or harm you, in that way or any other. Do you understand? You'd retain complete autonomy and control, dictating what you desired and how you'd want me to proceed - or halt - if ever you felt uncomfortable."

For several heartbeats, the deer remained impassive, its large eyes reflecting deep thoughts. It blinked, then gave a tentative nod in understanding.

"Understand," it whispered, a hint of vulnerability in its quiet voice.

Alexander breathed out, sighing with relief, recognising the importance of this moment. It was crucial to reinforce the deer's trust and respect for its boundaries.

"Thank you," Alexander smiled, leaning forwards and tenderly kissing the deer between the ears. "We will take these steps one at a time, at your pace, and if such a moment ever arises, it will be purely your choice."

The deer blinked, then its lips wavered in a nervous attempt at a smile. It lifted its head and gave a shy, furtive lick on Alexander's forehead.

Alexander's heart swelled with warmth, realising that this fragile, abused creature was beginning to trust him. He vowed to honour that trust and help it heal, one step at a time.

*

Days turned into weeks as Alexander and the sentient deer forged a bond, gradually overcoming the scars of the past. The cabin, once a lonely refuge for Alexander, now, was filled with love and warmth, the bond between the deer and himself growing in leaps and bounds.

Alexander did his best to keep the same routine, one the deer found comforting. Alexander would prepare their meals, vegetables and plants for the deer, other sustenance for he himself. After their breakfast, Alexander would take short walks, the curious deer beginning to explore the woods - but always within sight of his protector. Slowly, the traumas of the deer's past were whittled away - yet sometimes, there were moments they resurfaced at the snap of a twig or even something as simple as a falling branch - these sent the deer bleating and running towards the cabin and what it perceived was safety.

*

Early one autumn evening, as the sun dipped down towards the distant mountains, Alexander added another log to the fire, watching as the burning timber short sparks up the stone chimney. Cautiously, the deer approached him, its newly grown antlers glistening in the firelight, as the deer stood before the fireplace, then hung its head and quivered. Alexander sat down, at a comfortable distance from the fire, before the deer turned about and lay beside him, laying its head on Alexander's lap in a remarkable show of trust.

Sensing something was wrong, Alexander tenderly stroked its neck, his gaze on the fireplace as the deer trembled beneath his touch. After fifteen minutes, Alexander, concerned, looked down.

"What's wrong? You seem - unusually tense."

"Sick - " Whimpered the deer.

Alexander's eyes went wide, as he shuddered, before he looked down into the deer's eyes. "You need me - "

With a sniffle, the deer looked away, then glanced side-eyed at Alexander. "No, please - no... human...it's..."

It struggled to voice the words, becoming increasingly frustrated.

Alexander furrowed his brow, a mixture of concern and confusion painted in how his lips curled back and the bridge of his muzzle wrinkled, along with his forehead.

"It's..." the deer stammered, its large, soulful eyes searching for understanding in Alexanders gaze. "It's... like the..."

Gazing at the fire, the deer looked back at Alexander. "Like that - but...inside me..."

Realisation struck Alexander like a cloven hoof between the eyes - with about as much emotional and sensory impact. As the fire spat and crackled, Alexander blinked and finally understood...a quick glance at the calendar confirmed his suspicions.

"It's...the rut, isn't it?" Alexander pondered, tenderly stroking the deer's neck once more. "Your body...it's telling you its time to...mate."

The deer's ears twitched and it gave a quiver, before giving a nervous nod of its head, seemingly relieved that Alexander grasped the essence of its internal struggle.

"Okay, I understand now," Alexander spoke gently, stroking the shivering deers neck comfortingly. "It's a natural thing for deer. Yet you - its different. I get that. We'll figure out a way to make you comfortable. Maybe there's...something - "

With a nervous twitch, the deer looked up, its eyes going wide. "No...no human - human scared deer - please..."

"Woah, easy - I said what I meant before. He won't hurt you, but he _might_be able to give me something, that will help you. He won't touch you, I promise! He won't even come inside - will that ease your fears?"

Another twitch rippled through its pelt, before it nodded once. A glimmer of hope sparked in its eyes, as it carefully nuzzled against Alexander's chest, once more warming the grizzled old wolf's heart and the amazing bond the deer was forming, every day, taking massive leaps forwards in its trust of him.

*

As promised, Richard come through as Alexander met him at the end of the driveway, the frightened Deer hiding on Alexander's bed.

"How is he doing?"

Alexander exhaled, then shook his head slowly. "It's remarkable - considering what... Well - he has come ahead amazingly. He still has moments - but he's trusting and we often spend the early evening before the fireplace - him resting his head on my lap, me comforting and stroking him."

"Incredible," Richard gasped. "I thought he'd pass during winter, to be honest with you. The stress and unfamiliar surroundings - not to mention the trauma... I got to give that stag credit where it's due - he's got a fighting spirit, now - "

Reaching into his pocket, Richard withdrew a small bottle and then shook it, the medication rattling inside it. One tablet, once a night - they're capsules, so can open them and mix them into his food - two at most - they'll block the more...aggressive side, inhibit the production of testosterone. I_know_ what a stag during the rut can be like."

Alexander smiled lopsidedly. "Violent, hyper-aggressive..."

"Worse - " Richard sighed. "Just be careful - especially if he feels cornered or threatened. That instinct is deeply ingrained in them. Even a doe, cornered and frightened will fight with a ferocity that'll be terrible to behold. This medication will help, but he might still exhibit some restlessness."

Nodding, Alexander took the bottle from Richard. "Thank you, my friend, I mean that. I want him to have a peaceful and safe existence with me, free from stress and unnecessary suffering."

Turning back to his car and opening the door, Richard paused, then looked back over his shoulder.

"It's the least I can do. Nature can be cruel, but it's _my_responsibility, as a Veterinarian, to try and mitigate the worst of it, when I can. Keep an eye on him, and if, and I mean _if_you notice any unusual behaviour or side effects, please, let me know."

Alexander watched Richard, as he turned around, then drove off down the road. He hadn't the heart to break the bombshell - and it would_be a bombshell, to his best friend, that this enigmatic deer was not only a hermaphrodite - but a _sentientferal... It'd open too many questions Alexander did not have the answers for, and felt a breach of trust between himself and the deer...

*

With Richard gone, Alexander returned to his cabin, where he found the quivering deer curled up on the bed, its nose tucked under its right hind leg, trying to make itself as small and unnoticed as possible. He approached carefully, cautious not to startle it. As he sat down beside the deer, it slowly uncurled and looked at him.

"Human...away?"

"Yes, he's gone - It's alright, you're safe. We have a good friend in Richard, he gave me some medicine, that will help you with your discomfort, do you trust me?"

"Not...deer sick?"

"No, it shouldn't make you sick. It will help you, help you be calm and more relaxed, help - those urges inside you."

Confused, it just flicked an ear, then looked away, before resting its head back on the bed.

Alexander rose and walked over to the small kitchen, where he opened the bottle and then paused, deep in thought. The responsibility weighed heavy on his heart as he contemplated the impact of the medication. He had chosen this path, partially through trust in Richard, but partially, to protect himself against the possible aggression that might manifest during the rutting season, but he still couldn't shake his sense of unease.

Opening a single capsule, he sprinkled it over some untouched finely chopped vegetables, mixing it in well, before he carried the plate back to his bed. Here, he set it down and the deer looked at it, then at him.

"Please, eat this."

Hesitantly, the deer obeyed, licking the plate clean and resting its head back on the bed again.

"No...different - "

Alexander took the plate and set it aside, before he sat down beside it and carefully stroked its fur, feeling the warmth beneath his touch - warmer than it usually was, but considering what was happening inside it, he wasn't surprised.

"This will take a little while - maybe a few days, before it really starts to work. It's for your own well-being, to keep me safe...just in case."

It blinked, then frowned slightly. "Deer never...hurt..."

Alexander smiled, tenderly stroking the deer's ears in a comforting touch. "I know you wouldn't, but - sometimes accidents can happen, the rut..."

The deer blinked, looking up at him, a mix of trust and uncertainty in its eyes. Alexander realised then and there, the bond they truly shared, as he continued tenderly caressing the deer, seeking to show it love and compassion.

After a while, its quivering eased, and then it lapsed into a light sleep - which eventually, grew deep. Alexander glanced out at the darkness that now shrouded the cottage, as he felt the twinges in his stomach calling him towards dinner.

"Sleep young one," Alexander murmured before he rose from the bed.

It never even twitched...

*

A few days passed, and Alexander, continued to carefully watch over the deer, watching the subtle changes in its mannerisms and behavior. It grew calmer, as the medication proscribed done its work within its body. Their evenings before the fireplace become a ritual, a shared bonding experience between wolf and deer. Their bond of mutual respect and understanding built and built, the deer becoming completely relaxed with Alexander's gentle touches and petting.

One night, unexpectedly, the Deer twitched and looked up at Alexander. He gazed down at it before it glanced back down and trembled - but this wasn't a fear response, this was something else - something entirely new and equally confusing for them both. Richard placed a paw lightly on the deer's back, carefully stroking, giving the deer the physical touch it craved, and the reassurance to speak what was on its mind.

"Deer - " It began, then its words trailed off once more.

"Please my friend, speak to me. Tell me that which you wish to say. You know I'll never hurt you, for talking to me. How can I understand, if you won't open up and talk?"

"Scared - wolf will... be angry - " It stammered.

"Shh, no need to be scared, I promised, I'd never hurt you - now...what is wrong? How can I help ease what troubles you?"

With a nervous twitch, the deer glanced back towards its tail, then at Alexander, its eyes wide and pleading. "Rut...urges..."

Alexander's eyes widened, as he realized what the faltering words slowly built a picture of in his mind.

"You - " Alexander stared, dumbfounded.

"Need..." Squealed the deer in anxiousness and frustration. "Please...help?"

TO BE CONTINUED...