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I had this ready awhile back...but I never got around to publishing...sorry. Hope ya'll enjoy it...yeah...that's basically all there is to say for this one....

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Jake and Lucas began to head home after eating with Kaden and Mason. It had been a fun time, talking and enjoying the company. Kaden and Mason both thought it was good that the two were able to open up a bit more. It was good to have it out in the open, they had hated how the two had seemed so distant. Kaden looked over at the tiger, "Well, they seem good together,"

"Yeah, they do," Mason said, leaning in closer to the Kodiak. He felt the bear's warmth and couldn't help but place a paw on his chest.

Kaden put his arm around the tiger, "Well, I guess it's time for bed," he said, pulling a bit on his mate.

Mason chuckled, "We shouldn't stay up too long tonight...it's a school night," he replied and smiled up at Kaden.

"But it's close to the holidays!" Kaden said much like a child hoping to stay up later.

Mason thought for a moment, "Well...we do need to finish up some house chores...think you could take care of the dishes,"

Kaden frowned and pulled a bit more on Mason, "That's not a reason you stay up late,"

"What!?" Mason asked in a playful surprise, "Then...what is? I mean, we're old, we're supposed to be responsible now," he said jokingly.

"We're not even thirty...no where near old!" Kaden said in response and ruffled the tiger's head, "Not to mention you're the least responsible person I know," Kaden said, sticking his tongue out at the tiger.

"I'm more responsible than you!" Mason said as the bear began to rub his back, more roughly than before.

"Yes, because that's what arguing over this means...you're responsibility astounds me,"

Mason smiled, "So you admit defeat!"

"I'm going to turn old if I stick around with you forever," Kaden replied.

Mason laughed, "What? You aren't old! I think you look as great as you did every day before! If you ask me; you're the same as before...OK acutally, you might just be more handsome,"

Kaden smiled and picked up the tiger into his arms, "That's because you always revivify me," he said as he walked through the house.

Mason nuzzled the Kodiak, "That's good to hear...are you 'revivified' enough to help me with some chores?" he said, teasing the bear.

"What?!" Kaden whined, "You're kidding me, right?"

Mason laughed as the Kodiak nuzzled and pleaded with him. "Well, we're still young...there's time for responsibility later!" Mason replied.

Kaden moved through the doorframe into their bedroom and smiled back at Mason, "You're right. We're still young,"

Mason moved a paw up to Kaden's chest and rubbed the fur beneath it, "Yeah,"

Kaden laid the tiger down on the bed and moved on top of him, "We're young, so that means we can be a bit...what's the word...maybe, flexible-versatile. It's fun to just switch up things every once in awhile," he said, insinuating the innuendo and rubbing his mate's leg lightly.

Mason smiled, "Versatile? Well, this sounds promising,"

Kaden nuzzled his mate, "If you don't give me a direct answer soon you'll lose all your decision making privileges..." he said, his own eagerness beginning to drive him.

"Really?" Mason asked with a bit of enthusiasm, and could tell it made the bear blush.

"Just shut up and give me an answer,"

"Oh...in that case...I guess it's not bad to stay up late sometimes," he replied, his own paw running over the bear's chest. After a moment he chuckled, "Well, looks like you won that one,"

Kaden chuckled, "Don't I always?" he asked, stealing a quick kiss from the tiger.

Mason took the opportunity to hug the Kodiak, "Only because I let you," he said and felt his mate's arms wrap around him, "You..." he said and stole his own kiss from the Kodiak, "only think you win,"

___

"Are you OK?"

"Yeah...why wouldn't I be?" Lucas asked, surprised the bear was asking him and that it wasn't the other way around. He could tell something was off with Jake, that there was something disturbing the bear.

"Just asking...today has been really strange I think,"

Lucas looked over at Jake, "So...you OK about it? And about in psychology..."

"I'm fine with it...and what about it?" Jake asked. He remembered though; the doubts played on his mind once more.

"I just want to know if you're OK...you think something is wrong?"

"No, I don't..." Jake said and saw Lucas looking over at him with obvious doubt. Jake smiled and leaned over and planted a small kiss on the wolf, "I'm fine..."

Lucas sighed and nodded, he knew Jake was lying. If there was one thing he had learned how to do with Jake, it was to know when the bear was lying-no easy task. He was sure it was still about what happened in psychology, or that the class hadn't helped whatever was going on. He still had no idea what to do about it either. His father's and Mason's words played over in his mind again, and he continued to stare at Jake. After a moment Lucas smiled and looked away, it would be OK, all he had to do was be there for the bear. It was something he knew he'd always do. He leaned over and placed a paw on the bear's shoulder.

Jake felt the paw but ignored it, driving the rest of the way back to the apartment in silence. He didn't know what was wrong, school was good, he felt healthy, he had friends, and everything should have felt fine, but it didn't. Something still felt off, some doubt that played on his mind. Would he be able to hold onto Lucas? Jake shuddered lightly at the idea, and felt Lucas squeezing his shoulder trying to comfort him. They pulled into the apartment and both got out, walking up to the apartment. Jake didn't like the silence, especially since it was his own fault, which only made him frown more. He looked back at Lucas and smiled, "So...what do you think of Kaden and Mason?"

Lucas looked up at Jake, "It's cool...I'm a bit surprised at how obvious it is though,"

"What do you mean?" Jake asked as he unlocked the door.

"Well...I mean, it wasn't some shocking secret...it fit. I had no real trouble imagining either of them like that,"

Jake asked into the "Like that? You mea-"

"No, I just mean that I wasn't really surprised..." Lucas replied, answering the bear before the question was finished. They were inside now and heading to the bedroom.

Jake looked at the wolf for a moment, "Ok..." he replied with hesitation after a few moments and looked away. He sat down on the bed and let out a sigh, trying to relax and get rid of the images in his head. It wasn't anything that he hadn't thought before, which scared him alone. He hated that the idea of being left by the wolf was a constant thought; that he didn't know what to do. In the back of his mind the doubt had always been there, always hid itself away in him. He had been able to suppress it with the pace of things, with how he and Lucas were always together. Now it was different; things were mellowing out. Their relationship wasn't losing anything, but he was scared that Lucas may think it was boring; that the wolf may leave him. Jake tensed up suddenly when he felt Lucas's arms go around him.

Lucas nuzzled Jake and felt him relax a bit. He knew he would be there for Jake; that he wasn't going anywhere. It was odd, he wasn't used to being the one to hold the bear, even though Jake always seemed to be the one who was struggling. He pulled tighter on the bear instinctively and nuzzled Jake's shoulder, "It'll be OK," he whispered in the bear's ear.

Instead of tensing Jake relaxed a bit, the wolf's words comforting him. It was good to hear the wolf say it. He nestled closer to Lucas and felt the wolf's arms tighten around him, bringing him closer. The sound of Lucas's voice continued, Lucas continuing to speak as he drifted off to sleep.

When Jake finally fell asleep Lucas was glad to see how he seemed to relax. He wanted to know how to make Jake feel better. It was painful to be helpless to the bear. He worried about what would happen over the break, which was coming up all too quickly now...

___

It was already time for the break, Jake had his small book bag filled with clothes and was making sure everything was in order before leaving. Lucas was already outside waiting for him, they decided to just take one car. Jake would drop the wolf off at his house and would pick him up a week later. Over the past week it had been better, he had been able to relax more. But that was over again, the thoughts of having to leave the wolf plagued his mind. It was pathetic, he knew it was; he shouldn't have been so scared to leave the wolf or afraid of what could happen during the break. It seemed like that was the problem though, none of it made any sense. The door opened and closed and Jake realized he was standing still, not doing anything.

Lucas saw Jake standing there, "Hey...you OK?"

Jake looked over at the wolf, "Yeah...sorry, just got lost in thought for a sec,"

Lucas smiled and looked down at Jake's bag, "Is that all your taking?"

Jake smiled, "Yeah....it's all I'll need,"

"Whatever you say Big-guy," Lucas replied. They both stood there for a moment, the silence making things strange. Lucas still had no idea what was wrong with Jake, it was beginning to irritate him. He wanted to know; to be able to help the bear. The next thing he knew Jake was next to him though, both barely a hair apart.

Jake smiled down at his mate; "Well...so I don't do this when I drop you off..." he said and pulled the wolf into a tight embrace. He nuzzled Lucas and held on tightly, and felt Lucas return it.

It felt different from normal; the hug. Lucas noticed that Jake was acting differently as the break came closer. He hugged the bear and realized a bit about what was going on with Jake; a revelation in his mind. He could tell that Jake didn't want to let go, somehow there even seemed to be some fear in it. Lucas hugged the bear tighter and could feel Jake's paws grip lightly at his shirt. Lucas felt a pang of guilt run through him, angry at himself for not knowing what to do. He could tell that Jake fought to let go, and they both looked at each other for a moment.

Jake grabbed his bag. Forcing a smile he leaned down and gently kissed Lucas, then they both began to head out. When they got into the car it lightened up a little, both able to talk more freely. It was strange, he felt fine sometimes but at the same time it only took one thing to spark a wave of dreadful feelings. After a few hours they began to pull into Lucas's town. Jake felt one of those waves coming to him. It became strangely silent as he drove through the town. The wolf's voice brought him out of his trance.

"Are you going to be OK?" Lucas asked suddenly.

Jake looked over at his mate, "Yeah...why wouldn't I be?" he asked, chuckling slightly, but there wasn't a smile on him.

"If you need anything...just say it and I'm there," Lucas said, not giving in to Jake's attempt to lighten the situation. He waited for Jake to respond, but could tell the bear wasn't' going to, obviously lost in thought. "If you don't want to tell me...promise me you'll still let me be there for ya' at least,"

Jake felt a small smile cover his muzzle, the first genuine one in nearly a week. He looked back over at Lucas, "Thanks,"

At the bear's smile Lucas felt his own smile beam a bit more. It was good to see Jake smile again, it felt contagious to him. The rest of the ride went much more pleasantly as they spoke a bit more freely. Soon they pulled into the driveway though and Lucas couldn't help but tense up a bit.

Jake put the car into park and looked up at the house. He felt a lump in his throat and tried to swallow it, but I didn't seem to go away no matter how much he tried. The only thing he could manage to do was breathe, though even that seemed to have an increased difficulty. When he heard the door open he was brought back to life, and got out also to help Lucas with his bags. He grabbed the bags and was sad to note that it would only take one trip and then he'd be able to leave. Another voice brought him back to the real world.

"Lucas!" Ana said as she ran down the driveway and hugged her brother.

"There she is!" Lucas said and picked up the pup as she ran down and spun her around before setting her down, "How's my favorite sister?"

"Did you bring me anything?" she asked quickly, ignoring the wolf's question.

Lucas gave a playful frown, "No! Spoiled children don't get anything from me!" he replied.

"Ana, come back inside!" a different voice yelled.

Jake could see Lucas tense and knew why, he had tensed with it. It was Lucas's mother, who seemed to have a smile on her face. Upon seeing her Jake relaxed a bit, he hadn't seen her since summer, and the smile helped him to relax. For a moment he thought that maybe she didn't mind him, but from her actions it was obvious what was the answer.

"Lucas, how's my baby?" Mrs. Vadikson asked as she hugged her son. Before Lucas could answer though she turned her attention to Jake who had the bags in his paws and took them from him, "I'll take those," she said rather forcefully.

Jake released the bags without any confrontation and tried to avoid looking at the mother. It became apparent that the last words he'd heard from her were still applying to him, that she didn't approve of her son dating a fag. He was glad when she quickly turned around and walked off.

"Come-on Lucas, we're going out to celebrate for tonight,"

Lucas tried his best to smile, but couldn't even muster a small grin. He looked back at Jake, "I'm sorry..."

Jake looked away, "It's fine...I expected it,"

Lucas felt a snarl on his muzzle, "It's not right..."

Jake tried to mollify the wolf, "It's OK...really. I don't mind...she's your mom, you shouldn't get angry at her,"

The bear's words didn't help any though, instead making him angrier. The fact that he would defend her, despite how she treated him. Lucas felt his snarl dissipate though and a sadder look take its place. They both stood there silent for a moment before he built up enough courage to say something. "I'm...going to miss you,"

Jake chuckled weakly, "Hey...it's only a week,"

"I'm still going to miss ya' Big-guy," Lucas replied. Lucas smiled weakly, and noticed the bear looked worse than he did. Jake's face showed a lack of rest, and general discomfort. He hated to see Jake like that, it wasn't like the bear-Jake could usually at least put up a façade.

Jake forced a weak smile, "I'm sorry...I said I wouldn't do this when I dropped you off...but," Jake was saying before he felt Lucas embrace him. He gently returned the hug and held onto the wolf for a bit, not wanting to let go. After a moment they broke apart form each other. It was odd, there wasn't any fear at the moment, he just felt sad about having to leave the wolf. They hadn't been apart since summer, over which time so much had changed. Jake smiled at the wolf, "I'm going to miss you too...I really am,"

Lucas smiled, "Well...it's only a week" he said, repeating the bear's own words then nuzzled the bear, "...we'll end up talking everyday you know,"

Jake laughed, "Yeah...but it isn't the same," he said with a frown.

Lucas moved forward and leaned up and planted a light kiss on the bear's lips, pulling away after a moment, "Can that tide you over for a bit?"

Jake couldn't help but smile and chuckle a bit at the wolf, "I think it will help," he replied and pulled the wolf back into another hug. He nuzzled Lucas gently, and pulled away after a minute. The thoughts of having to leave played on his mind and Jake sighed, deciding to get it over with-the sooner the better after all. He looked up and was surprised to see Mr. Vadikson, and also felt a blush cover his muzzle. The idea of the wolf seeing them together was still strange, it was still a strange idea to think of anyone seeing them together. Jake looked back at Lucas, "...I love you,"

"I love you too," Lucas said and waited till Jake had driven off to begin to walk up the driveway. As soon as he turned around he saw his father waiting for him, a blush of his own covering his muzzle. He tired to ignore it though and ran up the driveway, he was happy to be home. It would be a bit difficult with his mother but he knew he could deal with it; Jake was right. He couldn't be too angry at her, that wouldn't do anything; he would have to find a way to deal with it though. The only thing that plagued him was the idea of not being with Jake and the bear not telling him what was going on. He stopped and walked the rest of the way up the driveway, "Hey Dad!"

Mr. Vadikson hugged his son, "It's good to see you...how are you feeling?"

Lucas smiled, "I'm good...glad it's break...I need one,"

Mr. Vadikson laughed, "Who doesn't at the moment? So...why didn't Jake come in for a bit?"

Lucas felt his smile disappear and knew his father would question him on it; he didn't even have time to get out an answer. His father knew something was wrong, Lucas had told him over the phone sometime in the week. Now it would only mean he would be asked about it.

"Are you two fighting?"

"No!" Lucas answered quickly and then looked away, "I mean...no. We never fight...we always get along. I just...don't know what's going on with Jake. He won't tell me what's wrong,"

"Did something happen to him?"

"I don't know...he isn't saying,"

"Well, wha-"

"Dad..." Lucas interrupted, a frown on his face.

Mr. Vadikson frowned a bit, "I'm sorry...you probably don't want me bombarding you with questions do you?"

Lucas looked up at his father, "It's no problem...I mean, it's just...complicated, or at least I think it is...but I'm sure that's what everyone says in relationships. Jake has just been really down lately. He didn't have any stupid comments this week, no stupid grins..." Lucas said and thought about the bear a bit, despite calling the actions stupid they were things he loved about Jake; "All he did was seem to mope. It's not easy...I'm trying to be there for him but sometimes I think that's why he's depressed," Lucas said and waited for a moment, his father not saying anything. He guessed his father was waiting on him to continue, "You can talk now ya' know..."

Mr. Vadikson smiled a bit and looked over at two chairs sitting on the porch, "Come-on, let's talk," he said and gestured to the chairs. After they both sat down he could hear his son sigh. Lucas had always been a great child; never caused trouble, always did what was needed, never asked for anything. Mr. Vadikson smiled to himself, happy with who his son was becoming. "You know...I was beginning to think I'd never have these kind of talks with you," Mr. Vadikson chuckled.

Lucas laughed, "Well...I guess you get why we never had 'em now,"

Mr. Vadikson looked over at his son, "Well, it does now...but honestly; you even surprised me with some choices..."

"You mean me being gay?"

Mr. Vadikson didn't say anything, he didn't have trouble accepting the fact; it didn't disturb him at all. He just was surprised to hear Lucas say it; his son had always had trouble with it. Over the summer he had denied it entirely, but now he wasn't hiding the fact. He was glad to see his son becoming someone admirable, "Yeah...that's one. I mean, you did take girls to the prom during high school, and even went on a date or two...I just figured you were focusing on your studies though,"

Lucas thought back to his high school years, it had been a fun time. After a minute he looked back over at his father, "Well, I was, but...there was other stuff. You know something? I don't really even remember half the girls' names..."

"What about the guys?" Mr. Vadikson asked, the question was more just to tease his son. He had never imagined himself asking it though.

"What about them?" Lucas asked, but he knew what his father meant.

"If you don't want to answer you don't have to but...did you think of yourself with girls or guys?"

Lucas felt his face drop a bit; he hadn't thought about it. When he thought back to some of his more childish fantasies there were usually guys in them, even to some of his more lustful ones. Lucas felt his face go red with blood, and looked away; his father apparently knowing what that meant. It didn't help when his dad began to laugh at him either. He felt strange suddenly, all throughout his high school life he had thought more about guys but he never considered what it really meant. His father eventually stopped laughing, but at the same time the laughter was a reliever-as if it symbolized a comfort with the fact that he was gay. After a moment he tried to continue the conversation, "Hey Dad, be honest...are you OK with it?"

Mr. Vadikson felt his ears perk a bit, "Would it make a difference," he asked as he turned to look at his son.

"You mean would I stop seeing Jake?" Lucas asked.

Mr. Vadikson thought for a moment, "That, I guess...and would you even tell us if you were gay?"

Lucas looked out at the neighborhood, "As I am now; no, it wouldn't make a difference. Jake is my mate; my everything," Lucas said and felt his face go red again. After a second he continued, "But...if you mean about me in the past...about five months ago or more then yes; it would change everything. You guys would probably never know if I could help it,"

Mr. Vadikson nodded, "OK," he said, leaving it at that. He was glad to hear the answer, to hear his son's dedication to Jake. During the summer things had been rough, the change in his son surprised him. Lucas didn't seem to have any doubt now, the commitment was totally different. It made him realize that his son was truly serious about it. "So, you and Jake are serious?"

Lucas looked over at his father, "Yeah...like I said, we're mates. Why do you ask? Do you think we're too young?"

Mr. Vadikson chuckled, "Young, yes I think you are, but I don't mean that in a bad way. You two have more maturity than many people your age...which is what a relationship will come down to at some points, but I was just asking..."

"You realize you never answered my question, right? Are you OK with...this?"

Mr. Vadikson nodded again, acknowledging his son's answer. He didn't have to think about the question though, "Of course," he replied simply.

Lucas felt a smile cover his muzzle, "Are you sure?"

"Lucas, now that I think about it...I've still had my share of talks with you," Mr. Vadikson said with a chuckle, "I don't know how many times I've had to go over this stuff with you. Tell me, when you tell Jake you love him, do you think of the things he could do to make that go away?"

Lucas had a puzzled look on his face, "Well...I don't think there's anything he could do to do that,"

Mr. Vadikson smiled, his son had answered exactly as he had wanted to hear. He didn't say a simple no, instead giving more than that. He was glad that his son had answered as he did for two reasons; it worked well with his example, and it showed how much he cared for the bear, "Same thing here. I say I love you because I do, you're my son, and nothing you can do will ever make me love you less,"

Lucas felt a smile on his muzzle, "You don't have to tell me too often do you?"

Mr. Vadikson chuckled, "You are one of the more troublesome ones. Remember how long it took you with the family,"

Lucas thought back for a moment and chuckled, "OK...I guess you're right,"

"Well, Lucas all you need to know is I love you and always will, it doesn't matter what you may choose to do. And if you want to know, I completely support your decisions also, at least all the ones so far. I don't care if you're gay, homo, or whatever you want to call i-"

"Just stick with gay..." Lucas said, the other choices in his head making him shudder, and he chuckled uncomfortably. This was the first time he'd really had a conversation with his dad about his being gay.

Mr. Vadikson laughed, "OK, fine. I don't care if you're gay. I love you no matter what you may do, or choose. I support you too. You know that I like Jake. Honestly, I don't think you could find a better person out there; girl or guy. I think you've found someone great, who is strong. There's still a long road ahead but I know you two can make it,"

"We will," Lucas replied, smiling. He felt happier, feeling like he and Jake were going to be OK. There was also something troubling him though, and he felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, followed by a feeling of guilt.

Mr. Vadikson felt a prideful smile come over his muzzle.

"About the family...do they, you know...know?" Lucas asked, a bit afraid.

"No, I think you're mother's sister knows, but then again, they always talk. Besides her I don't think anyone knows,"

Lucas let out a sigh and then looked back at his father, expecting a disapproving look for being relieved about it. "Sorry,"

"Don't be...if and when they find out, it will be difficult for you. I don't expect you to just yell it to the world. Who you love is your business,"

"But I'm not about to let anyone just go assuming stuff when I say I'm dating someone. It's not fair to Jake, or to me,"

Mr. Vadikson could see the struggle in his son's eyes. He leaned over and patted him on the shoulder, "Well, if you ask me, that's good. I won't lie, you'll have it harder than others because of you being gay...it sucks but some people won't like it, some may even not talk to ya'...but you can handle whatever the world throws at you; you and Jake both can,"

Lucas felt a sudden panic flood him, not the kind like before it was worse, "What about Ana? My friends?"

Mr. Vadikson calmed his son, "Don't worry. No one knows...Ana is too young to still really get it...but I think if she sees you and Jake together then it won't be bad-"

"But Mom isn't about to let that happen is she?" Lucas asked, an involuntary sneer on his face. All the ideas were hitting him at once now. The things he had been able to avoid back at school were in his face now. Usually he could keep from worrying but for some reason he felt the situation overwhelm him. Being back home; where it all his old friends were, where his family was, it scared him to think of how they would react. The idea of what might happen if others found out, the idea of people rejecting him and Jake; they all began to torment him. He thought to his mother, not angry anymore, a sadness at how she had acted taking the place of it. The idea of that happening more and more made everything take on a darker shade. It was like a panic just ran though him, not sure where it came from. Lucas turned away from his father and clenched his teeth and paws, trying to keep the flood under control.

"Don't you worry about her," his father said. He noticed Lucas wasn't looking around anymore, instead he was looking at the ground and his paws were clinched. It only took him a moment to register why the wolf wasn't looking up anymore.

Lucas tried to keep his tears from falling but he couldn't. The suddenness of the emotions made trying to hide them impossible. Lucas chocked back a sob and felt a paw on his shoulder, which he moved away from. He wasn't sure where it all came from; how it all seemed to crash down on him at once. The fact that he was still hiding the fact from people, that his mother didn't approve of it, that his father and mother didn't agree with each other about it, that the family may not approve of it, everything he had tried to ignore came down on him. Lucas tried to keep his sobs quiet. "I don't want to tear the family apart," Lucas said with a sob.

Mr. Vadikson moved over and put a paw on his son's shoulder again, "It's OK. You aren't tearing anyone apart,"

"Then why are you and Mom fighting? It's my fault isn't it? What about Ana? What if she hates me for this? What if my friends hate me?" Lucas asked in a chocked voice.

"Lucas, we aren't going to let this do anything like that. Ana won't care, you're her brother, and you just have to trust in your friends,"

"Why is it a problem then?" Lucas asked, the tears falling more than before.

"Lucas..." Mr. Vadikson said, "Lucas, look at me," he said, with a bit more authoritative tone, "Stop this,"

Lucas couldn't seem to help, "What? Why shouldn't I just go ahead and fill the emotionally unstable stereotype?" he asked, not even thinking about it.

"Lucas, you know you're being a moron right?" Mr. Vadikson asked, knowing it would make his son stop a bit. He moved over and patted his son on the head, though it was more of a hit to get him back to reality. "First off, you aren't just 'filling a stereotype' or something. You're going through this...and it's difficult...I know. Lucas, you're scared of what people may think, people who you care about...just because you're crying about that doesn't mean you fall into any stereotype. It's nothing to be ashamed of, you're scared of what may happen, and anyone would be,"

Lucas knew his father was right, at least about him being a moron. He couldn't stop the tears, but the panic that had overcome him was gone. He looked over at his father who was staring intently at him. After a minute the tears slowed to a gentle leak, instead of the torrent that they had been. He was glad his father was there, he was always able to calm him.

"You OK now?" his father asked, smiling gently at his son.

Lucas chuckled and wiped his nose, "I think so...sorry about that,"

"Don't be. Just know that I'm here for you whenever you're going through something, just tell me when you want to talk,"

At that they both stood up and Lucas felt a better, lighter almost. The weight on his shoulder was still there, but it didn't feel as heavy. "Thanks Dad," Lucas said and hugged his father. He felt his father return the hug and pat him on the back, and after a moment pull away.

"Well...let's get inside. Your mother is serious, we are going out tonight," Mr. Vadikson said.

"OK," Lucas replied. He guessed he must've done something, or made a strange face, because his father looked strangely at him.

"Don't worry about it," Mr. Vadikson said, "She won't make it bad for you...she just doesn't want to face the fact..."

"So...don't bring it up and I'll be fine,"

Mr. Vadikson sighed, "Sadly...that's the jist of it,"

Lucas felt a small frown on his muzzle but ignored it. He followed his father inside and they got ready for the upcoming event. They went to a restaurant in town. It was a regular night. He was glad he was able to relax around his family. Everything went well; Lucas found that he could even relax. On the way back to the house he heard his phone ring and looked down to see Jake calling. He looked up at his mother who was eyeing him. Lucas opened the phone anyway, "Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing...bad time?"

"Nah. Are you home?"

Jake let out a sigh, "No...I'm stuck in traffic again...I bet there was a crash up ahead,"

"So you call me just to pass time?" Lucas asked, acting slightly hurt.

"Yeah, basically," Jake chuckled.

Lucas felt a smile cover his muzzle. The fact that Jake had joked back made him feel better, showed that the bear was doing well for the moment. He noticed that the bear's downtrodden moods came in waves, and was glad that Jake was doing well now. "Well, you're being safe, right?"

"Yeah. I'm driving slowly I think...I should've been home an hour ago though..."

"Well...how far away are you?"

"At least two...I've been stuck in traffic forever..."

"Sorry..."

"It's OK...so how are things back home?"

"They're good...we went out to eat tonight. It's been pretty fun. Of course...you want to know something?"

"What?" Jake asked.

"I've realized you're actually an amazing cook!"

"Was the food bad?"

"No...but yours is just better," Lucas replied with a chuckle.

Jake felt a genuine smile creep onto his muzzle. "Thanks," he said, an appreciative tone to his voice.

Lucas smiled, "It's true," he said, his voice taking a more personal tone too. "So, how you doing Big-guy?" he asked. Lucas glanced over at his mother and saw she wasn't happy to hear him talking-espcially not to be using Jake's pet name around her. Any chance of talking unrestricted with the bear was soon ended though.

"Lucas, we're home," his mother said, loud enough so that Jake could hear it too.

Lucas looked outside and noted that they weren't home, instead they were just beginning to pull into their neighborhood. Before he could say anything to Jake the bear was speaking again.

"Hey...traffic is letting up...I've got to go," Jake said and hung up. It was a lie though; he was still in the same spot that he'd been in for the past twenty minutes. He had felt OK for a moment, but that feeling was put away at Lucas's mother's voice. He could tell just by the tone that she had meant to drive him away. Jake let out a sigh, he had let it work too. He didn't want to come between the wolf and his family; he didn't want to find out which Lucas would choose. Jake rubbed his eyes and leaned back a bit but jumped at the sound of a car honking at him. He looked forward and noted that traffic was actually moving forward-he still felt like he was in the same place though.

Lucas frowned at the phone, which was displaying how long his talk with Jake had lasted; the minute and twelve seconds flashing a few times before finally going away. He let out a sigh and closed his phone, and looked out the window. After a few moments they finally did arrive at home. As the car pulled up he was already opening the door and trying to get out, but his mother stopped him. He waited till the car stopped and then got out quickly. He was about to slam the door when he realized Ana was still around and suddenly felt bad for acting as he did. He saw the pup rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and couldn't help but feel a smile cover his muzzle. Kneeling down he took the pup into his arms, "Come-on, let's get you in bed,"

"But it's break time!" Ana complained.

Lucas smiled, "Not for you yet. You still have a week in school. You want to do well don't you?"

Ana nodded sleepily in response.

"Then you'll need your sleep. It's important," he said as he walked up to the door that his parents were unlocking. Once inside he handed the pup to his mother who walked her off to the bedroom. As soon as she left Lucas felt his façade crumble, his previous mood coming back to him. When she returned he could tell she had been faking a smile also, as she looked at him and frowned.

"I don't want you to talk to that person like that with Ana around," she said simply.

"What?" Lucas asked, but didn't allow her to explain, "What did I do? I was just talking with him. And his name is Jake," Lucas growled.

"Lucas," his father said, "watch the tone,"

"What?" Lucas asked and glared over at his father, and felt a small snarl on his muzzle but repressed it quickly when he saw his father. His father was obviously frustrated, disappointed in him for his anger, and shamed at his wife's brashness.

"I said to watch the tone...now; we are not going to gnash at each other. You're an adult now, so we're going to speak as such," he said then directed his attention to his wife also, "Both of you; sit,"

Lucas felt his body obeying without any thought. Whenever his father used that tone he didn't have the ability to think. He noticed his mother was still standing though.

Mr. Vadikson looked over at his wife, "Honey...you know it's not fair to tell him he can't talk to Jake,"

"I don't want him talking to him with Ana around,"

"That's not fair," Lucas interjected.

"Life isn't fair," his mother retorted.

Mr. Vadikson tried to mollify his wife, "Honey, he wasn't making an impression on Ana. He and Jake were talking, I doubt she even knew who it was. She's too young to even understand their relationship. Besides, you can't expect him to cut off contact with Jake...it's like asking him to cut off contact with his friends too...Jake is his friend. Besides, I didn't think anything in their conversation sounded out of the ordinary for two people,"

Mrs. Vadikson looked over at her husband, "He shouldn't be talking to that faggot to begin wi-"

"What did you say!?" Lucas growled, interrupting his mother completely and even found himself standing up. It wasn't that she was calling Jake gay, it was that she was using such an insulting term for him.

"Don't use that tone with me," Mrs. Vadikson said sternly.

"Don't insult Jake!" Lucas growled loudly.

"What? Are you saying he's not a faggot?" Mrs. Vadikson hissed.

Lucas didn't respond right away. He knew that if he said anything that confirmed his mother's answer she would be happy, or if he denied it then she wouldn't let him ever win an argument. He hated the word; it was totally unneeded. "If you haven't noticed...I'm the one dating him...I'm a 'faggot' too,"

He could tell his mother tried to ignore this comment. "Why are you still playing this stupid game?" she asked instead.

"Game?" Lucas asked. "It's not a game...why don't you see that I love Jake,"

"Love? You can't love that thing," Mrs. Vadikson said.

Before either of them could say something Mr. Vadikson cut in again.

"You know what...I'm ending this. Lucas, you can talk with Jake...I don't have to tell you this but just to appease your mother; keep your conversations appropriate. Dear, you can't just go about telling him to cut off connections...,"

"I think I can,"

Mr. Vadikson sighed, he hated to say what he was going to next, but knew it would make her be quiet. "You aren't' the one paying for his phone,"

"Phil, you can-" Mrs. Vadikson was saying but was interrupted.

"I am...end of discussion. I won't stand for Lucas not having all the rights we would give him if he were straight. Not over something so petty. He is still our son. We will not deny him the ability to speak with Jake. How are you going to act when Jake comes around? They deserve to be able to be with each other and to act like a couple. If I think that it isn't healthy for Ana then I'll tell them both. It is not until then that they will have to do anything differently though. Until such time they may do what they wish,"

Mrs. Vadikson glared at her husband for a moment. She was visibly shaking in anger and then turned her attention to Lucas, "You'll just end up regretting this later you know? You're just young and foolish. One day you'll stop playing this game. You two won't last...one of you will grow up. I just hope its you before that thing leaves you or worse,"

Lucas didn't say anything instead watching as she walked off. After a moment he realized his teeth were clenched, along with his fists. Letting out a sigh he sat down on the couch and ran a paw through his head fur. He could feel his father's presence still in the room. "Sorry Dad...I really am. I didn't mean to do any of that,"

Mr. Vadikson sighed, "It's OK...after she called him a...a well, you know," he said and continued, "I didn't expect you to be calm after that. It was uncalled for and she knows it too. I'll speak with her again, try to calm her down,"

"Do you think...she'll change,"

Mr. Vadikson frowned, "Honestly?" he asked.

Lucas nodded.

"No...I don't think so. She's too rooted to accept it,"

"If Jake comes around...can we actually act like a couple?"

"Well, I think that's for you two to decide," Mr. Vadikson replied and continued, "But I was serious. If I do think it's too impressionable on Ana then I'll tell you both to stop and once again that'll be the end of the discussion,"

Lucas nodded, and didn't move.

"I do need to talk to her about it though...at least try and tell her that you two like each other...or whatever her age group calls it...Also, do keep the conversations appropriate," his father said with a laugh.

Lucas chuckled, "Dang...just take away all my fun why don't ya' while you're at it," he said with a laugh. He heard his father laugh too. After a moment he felt his father walk over and pat him on the shoulder.

"I'm sorry about, well, you know" he said and let the words drift, "...I love you son, goodnight," he said and gently kissed the top of Lucas's head before walking off.

Lucas sat there for a moment. He could hear the sounds of his parents talking a little but couldn't decipher any of it. It didn't sound angry though, it sounded relatively calm. After a minute he lay down and stared up at the ceiling, eventually the entire house was quiet. He felt himself drifting in and out of consciousness. At some point he reached into his pocket and called the bear, who answered after the third ring. "Hey..."

"Hey...you OK?" Jake asked, the wolf's tone telling him the answer.

"I love you," Lucas said, ignoring the bear's question.

Jake felt a bit surprised to hear the wolf, 'I love you too," he said though. "So...tell me, what happened?"

"Just a bit of an argument with my mom..."

"I'm sorry...I'm nothing but trouble,"

"No, you're not...it's not you're fault at all," Lucas said.

"Yes it is...I'm sorry," Jake said. He believed what he was saying. The wolf's entire situation felt like it was his fault. If he wasn't with Lucas then the wolf might not have to go through this. Jake felt a pang of fear that if the wolf had to choose between his family and him; believing Lucas wouldn't choose him. "If I wasn't with you the-" he began but Lucas cut him off.

"If you weren't with me then I wouldn't be happy..." Lucas said quickly. He meant it, the bear made him happy. "Can...you stay on the line?" Lucas asked.

"Yeah," Jake replied. "What do you want to talk about?" He felt better at Lucas's comment; it made him feel more secure for a moment.

"Are you home?" Lucas asked.

"Yeah, I've been home for awhile,"

"What time is it?"

"About two in the morning," Jake replied.

"Did I wake you?" Lucas asked. He found it hard to believe he'd just lied on the couch doing nothing for so long.

"No...I can't sleep," Jake said, it was true. Even before Lucas called he had been thinking about the wolf. He had come home and his parents had been asleep. He went upstairs and stared up at his ceiling-even though it was too dark to see it. "Anything you want to talk about?"

"I don't really want to talk," Lucas replied. He just wanted to feel as though the bear was nearby. "You can talk if you want to...but...I just want to hear you,"

"I love you," Jake said into the phone.

Lucas smiled and turned over in the couch, adjusting himself to go to sleep. "I love you too Big-guy,"

They both lay in silence; neither speaking. After a moment Jake realized the wolf was asleep. He could hear the wolf's breathing into the speaker and smiled, the familiar pattern helping him to relax. He leaned his head against the pillow in his bed and stared into the dark room-his thoughts rushing through his mind again. They weren't as bad as he thought they would be, the wolf's breathing in his ear calming him. 'He called me...he said he loves me...he's my mate, so why? Why can't I just relax? I'm being illogical, but then again...that's the entire point isn't it?' Jake asked himself in his mind.

__

The break passed slowly. Jake realized he wasn't sleeping. He hadn't slept in nearly three days and couldn't think of why. He thought about Lucas most times, which he guessed was one reason. The thoughts weren't comforting either; they were usually filled with a fear of being alone. It was strange though, despite not sleeping he didn't feel tired. His eyes felt heavy and his limbs felt strange but he didn't feel as though it was time to sleep. It was only a day before thanksgiving and Jake found himself getting more anxious for the event. The only reason he was able to get sleep before it was because he forced himself into his room and lay there for the entire day-even then he only gained six hours of sleep.

His family came over the next day. It was good to see them all, but Jake felt it was all hollow. He didn't have a connection to any of them. At the most they were just first name acquaintances. It was boring and depressing, Jake found himself isolated with his own family. He couldn't hold a conversation with any of them, next to a simple greeting. It wasn't too bad because after they all ate most of them sat down around the TV and watched a game, and soon they were all falling asleep. Jake let out a depressed sigh, just what he had not wanted to happen. The problem wasn't not getting along with the family, the problem was that the entire thing was so distant. Even though they were blood he was sure none of them were interested in actually talking-most of the banter was filled with prejudice and foul jokes. When the drowsiness finally began to set in on them Jake sighed and took the chance to escape. Running upstairs he sat down on his bed and reached over for his phone. The only reason he called the wolf was that he saw he had missed a call from Lucas just a few minutes previously. The wolf picked up almost instantly.

"Hey Big-guy,"

"Hey...what's up? You called?" Jake asked.

"What? No, you called," Lucas said with a laugh.

Jake felt a small smile at the wolf's laugh, "Yeah... but you called first,"

"Ehh...I just felt like calling," Lucas said.

Jake smiled and lay his head down on a pillow, "I'm glad...Aren't you with your family though?"

"Yeah...but I felt like calling you. I miss you,"

Jake felt a twinge in his gut, it wasn't a bad one though, just a longing to see the wolf. It was strange to not be near him after being with him so long, "I miss you too...but, should you really call...what abou-"

"It's my dad's side, so she isn't about to bite my head off with all of them around. I guess it'll be worse at dinner though-that's when we go over to her side of the family," Lucas said, answering the bear's question.

Jake frowned a bit, "I'm sorry...it's my fault,"

"Stop that," Lucas replied simply. He hated to hear the bear take the blame, it wasn't right.

Jake let out a sigh, "Well, let's not be so pessimistic...how are you? How was the food?"

"Of course you ask about the food," Lucas said with a laugh, "It's all been great. I've enjoyed my time back home so far. Honestly I'm looking forward to when winter break is here. How about you?"

"Ehh..." Jake replied, "It's not all bad I guess. Me and Jim have hung out a good bit and it's been fun so far...It's too hot down here...as alwa-" Jake was saying before his mother was yelling at him.

"Jake, come back down stairs!"

Jake let out a sigh, "I guess you heard that..."

"Yeah...do you have to go?"

"If you can talk with me while your family is around then I can do the same..." Jake replied with a small laugh. He walked down the stairs and into the kitchen where his aunts, mother, and a few cousins were standing in a circle. Jake took a seat at the table and continued to speak to the wolf for a bit longer. They mostly spoke of small things, talking about the weather and what they were doing over break. Jake couldn't stop a few yawns that were escaping him though.

"You tired Big-guy?"

"A bit..." Jake replied.

"Did you just get up or something? It's the middle of the day,"

"Yeah, yeah...I just haven't been sleeping much...and what sleep I do get is...well, you know," Jake said with a sigh.

"Try to sleep...you know you need it," Lucas said with a sigh. He wanted the bear to take care of himself. The fact that Jake wasn't sleeping was only further evidence that the bear wasn't feeling well. He knew Jake well enough to know that if something was wrong the bear would forgo sleep. They talked a bit longer, but after a few minutes Lucas had to go though.

Lucas knew he needed to spend time with his own family. He hated to leave the bear but knew it was important. "Sorry Big-guy..."

"It's not a problem...relax with your family,"

"I love you,"

"I love you too," Jake said with a smile and waited till Lucas hung up. Almost as soon as he hung up he realized where he was again. He let out a sigh of annoyance, and looked behind him. He tried to play it off and grabbed a drink, but he could tell they'd heard it. To his dismay, one of his family members had heard it, and now the annoying questions would begin. He could almost give the count down to it in his head.

"Jake, do you have a girlfriend you're not telling us about?" one of his cousins asked loudly. At that one question all the attention in the room switched to him, not out of real interest, just in an attempt to poke at him.

"Or was it a guy?" his brother asked with a laugh.

Jake just sat there, deciding it was best to let them get it out of their system.

"So, who is it?" one of his elder cousins asked.

Jake sneered a little, "That's none of your business," he tried to say jokingly. He thought they would leave it alone, they were all just staring at him, and some were looking a bit beyond him. Jake watched a moment before realizing why it was silent. He jumped up and turned around but it was too late, one of his cousins had his phone and was about to open it. Jake moved forward and took the phone quickly, snatching it from his cousin and gripping it tightly.

"I almost had it!" his cousin said with a laugh.

Jake gave a weak laugh, "Haha, too bad...because of that stunt you can all just stay in the dark,"

"Pansy," his brother remarked with a laugh.

Jake just laughed it off, but felt his blood running high. He tried to remain calm though and walked off. He didn't want the family to find out, at least not by looking into his phone or through indirect means. After a minute he was able to relax. Thankfully the rest of the day passed well. During dinner he played a card game with his mother, brother, brother's fiancé, and cousin. The objective was to recognize the pattern in which cards were laid and the rules of laying and upon which playing till all the cards were gone. When he finally got home he felt happy, surprised at the emotion; it was a welcome change to the usual depression. He headed up stairs and lay down on his bed, feeling tired. He tried to rest, but the ideas of the next day played on his mind, excited and anxious about what it could bring.

Jake woke up the next day, glad it was the last day of break; it was the day he could head home. He shoved his clothes into his book bag and headed down the stairs to see his parents. He found them in the living room, watching TV. "I'm going to head back,"

"What? Why?" his mother asked.

"Well...today is the day I need to and I want to make it back so that I can get some sleep tonight,"

"Do you want to get a bite first?" his father asked.

Jake stopped and thought, he knew he should hang out with his parents for a bit. He nodded his head, "Where do ya'll want to go?"

"How about up to Jimmy's?" his father suggested.

"Sure...I haven't had a chili cheeseburger in awhile...that actually sounds really good," Jake replied.

"Ok, it's settled, we'll meet you there," his father said.

Jake nodded his head and ran to his car and followed them out to the restaurant. They ate slowly, talking and enjoying the rest of their time together. He was glad that throughout the week they had avoided any topics that would bring up arguments. After he finished eating he leaned back to get his wallet, but his parents stopped him.

"What are you doing?" his father asked.

"Paying for the meal...most people do..."

"We'll pay for it,"

Jake stopped, "Are you sure? I mean...I guess either way it's ya'll's money,"

His father laughed and pulled out his billfold. After he paid for the meal they talked outside for a moment. Jake opened his door, but didn't get in and looked back at his parents, "Well, I'm going to head home so I'll see you guys later,"

"Aren't you heading back to school?" his mother asked.

"Yeah, that's what I said, I said I was heading back home,"

"Well, the house is that way," his father said as he pointed off in the general location.

Jake laughed a little. He knew his parents understood what he was saying and were just trying to make him say that this place was still home. He couldn't say it though. Even though he had grown up here, even though many of his friends still lived here he couldn't call the place home. It wasn't even that back in Kirson was home either. Over the week the only thing he had wanted was to be with Lucas. He didn't say it in his mind, it was much too cheesy a statement for him to admit. Jake looked at his parents once more and smiled, "I love you guys," he said and hugged each of them individually. He got into his car and smiled, "and I'll see ya in a bit," he said before driving off.

He watched as they got smaller in the distance and was glad when he finally got onto the highway. The road seemed to pass by slowly, each mile marker taking longer than the one before it. After the first two hours he began to pull over frequently to stretch his legs, use the bathroom and grab a small snack. The stops were nice, it felt good outside and Jake enjoyed how the weather changed as he headed north. It was colder than back home an hour away, and two hours away it actually began to feel chilly. At one of the rest stops Jake popped his trunk and got the jacket from his birthday. He liked it, it was one of the most comfortable ones he had ever had. After a few minutes of relaxation he got back into the car and began to drive again. Along the way he felt his phone vibrating and reached into his pocket and fished around for a bit before finding his cell phone. He saw that Lucas was calling and flipped it open. "Hello?"

"Hey! Whatcha' up to Big-guy," Lucas said cheerfully.

"What has you so happy?" Jake asked with a smile of his own.

"I think you know," Lucas said with a grin. He didn't care if Jake couldn't see it, his tail wagged behind him, his eagerness visible on him. He was lying down in his room and was already packed. Lucas heard his door creak a bit and looked up to see Ana standing there. The young wolf was staring at him, and Lucas thought that she looked a bit angry. Lucas looked between his sister and the phone and finally let out a sigh, "Hey Jake, hang on, Ana is here," Lucas said and directed his attention to his sister, "Ana, is something up?"

Ana went into the room and jumped up on his bed, "Why are you leaving so soon? You never stay home long!"

"I go to school...you kn-"

"I go to school...why do you leave?" she asked in a whiny tone.

"Well...my school is just farther away...you know, college..." Lucas tried to explain to her. "Why are you asking? Come-on pup, don't be difficult with me,"

Ana pouted her lips a bit, "You always leave quickly!"

Lucas quickly understood what the pup was talking about. He was surprised to hear it though; he had never suspected the pup as missing him too much. With a sigh Lucas moved over and ruffled his sister's hair, "I always come back too...I'll be back very soon,"

"And then you leave,"

"And then I come back, but then I leave don't I? But guess what? I come back?...oh but let me guess?" Lucas asked. To his joy his sister giggled a little. Lucas smiled and leaned down, tickling his sister, "You think I'm a horrible brother don't you,"

Ana rolled around and tried to avoid Lucas's paws, "No! No! Stop!" she yelled in glee.

Lucas laughed and looked at his sister a bit more seriously, "I'm always just a call away you know," he said. He could tell that such a change in mood was strange to her. She still looked at him and laughed a little. Lucas ruffled her head fur a little and looked at her, "So, you OK?"

"No!" she said, but couldn't disguise the laughter.

"Oh, you aren't?" Lucas asked.

Ana shook her head and felt Lucas try to tickle her again. She screamed in merriment and jumped off the bed to escape him.

"What? Now you're leaving!" Lucas yelled after her with a smile. After a second he realized that Jake was still on the line. He reached over for his phone and was glad that Jake was still there, "Hey, I'm sorry about that. Where were we? Oh, that's right? Why I'm so happy...I think you know though don't you?"

"I can't say I do," Jake replied.

Lucas laughed a bit and after a moment stopped. He felt a strange feeling run through him and his tone changed to a more serious one, "Have you been OK this week?"

Jake shuffled a little and felt his foot become heavier on the pedal, "Yeah...why wouldn't I have been?" Jake asked. He realized he was speeding and slowed down, quickly going below the speed limit. He wasn't sure what was going on. Part of him wanted to see Lucas and yet another part wanted him to stop where he was. He couldn't manage his voice though and knew he sounded like he was lying-he was.

"Jake...we're going to talk," Lucas said. He felt a bit weak after saying it, as if it took all his willpower to do it. He could tell it had just as much an effect on Jake as it did on him, if not more.

Jake didn't reply, instead feeling a lump in his throat. He didn't want to talk about it, he wanted to ignore it. Maybe if he ignored it, redirected it, sublimed it, repressed it, or did anything he could forget about it, but none of that was working. The wolf's statement only brought out a fear in his gut. The same deep down fear he had felt before and felt on a regular basis. It was becoming intolerable, the feeling that everything was only going to last a moment more.

"Jake?" Lucas asked.

"Fine, fine...Whatever,"

"Cool," Lucas replied, guessing the bear wanted to avoid the topic entirely. "So...have you left your parents place yet?"

"Yeah, I've been on the road for about three hours...I should be getting close. You should expect me around...six,"

Lucas looked over at his clock, it was already three. He wished those three hours would go ahead and pass. "Awesome, I can't wait..."

"So are you ready for exams? There coming up soon...next week actually,"

"Ehh...I'm getting there. How about yourself?"

"Not really...I don't think I'm going to do well on this stuff,"

"What? Why not?" Lucas asked, he was surprised to hear it. The bear never said that he was expecting a low mark seriously.

"I just don't...you know,"

"No...I don't," Lucas replied, "Jake, you know you'll do well,"

"Ehh..." Jake replied, "I'm just not sure...but I guess we'll see won't we?"

"You'll do fine,"

Jake frowned and felt another depressive wave come over him. It didn't last very long though, just long enough for him to be aware of it. He noticed the silence, neither of them speaking, and felt the urge to say something-anything. "What are you up to?"

"I'm waiting on you Big-guy," Lucas replied with a frown. He knew Jake didn't want to talk about what was going on, and that in itself was a problem too. The bear still didn't want to talk about some things. He had decided over the break to find out what it was, even if it meant making the bear tell him. Lucas could already tell it wouldn't be easy but it was better than the tension that he was feeling. He hated to hear the bear, how he sounded so depressed.

"Oh...well I should hurry up then,"

"Yes, yes you should," Lucas replied with a laugh. "But be careful, I don't want anything to happen to ya' on the road,"

"Thanks mom," Jake said mockingly. "Lucas...I'll see you in a bit...but I need to focus on the road...there's some crazy guy in front of me and I don't want to get hit,"

"OK...be careful,"

"I will be. Bye,"

Jake hung up the phone and put both his paws on the wheel. He had lied to the wolf, he just wanted to get away from the conversation. It felt like a paradox, he didn't want to talk about what was going on but he wanted to be near the wolf, not being able to have one without the other. The fact that Lucas was going to talk to him about what was going on scared him; how could he tell the wolf. He didn't even get what was going on, and it was in his own mind. Jake shook his head and gripped the steering wheel tightly, wanting to stop the car entirely, but his foot only became heavier.

Lucas watched as the clock's hands moved slowly. It seemed to take days instead of hours for Jake to arrive. Lucas ran to the door more than a few times, thinking he had heard something. His eyes traveled to the clock, for every beat of his heart he looked to the clock four times it seemed. Lucas began to pace quickly, going from the window back to his room, not stopping. After the tenth time his father stopped him.

"Lucas...are you OK?"

Lucas chuckled, "Sorry...I'm just anxious," he said and looked over at a clock, "Jake's late...I don't know why...should I call?"

"What time did he say he'd be here?" Mr. Vadikson asked.

"Six,"

Mr. Vadikson looked over at the clock then at his son, then did a retake to the clock and to his son. He felt his face go to one of unbelieving confusion, "Really? Lucas...he's not that late...are you sure you're OK? Is something up?" Mr. Vadikson asked. The fact that Lucas was stressing and that it was only five past six made him know that something was.

Lucas looked at the clock again, seeing that another minute had passed, "Yeah...but it's nothing..."

"It's something," his father replied, watching as his son walked in circles. "Lucas..."

Lucas continued to walk in circles, not really paying attention to his father's words.

"Lucas," Mr. Vadikson said in a firm tone, his son stopping in his tracks. Mr. Vadikson gave his son a kind smile, he didn't want to see Lucas acting so strange. He stood up and gestured to the couch, "Sit,"

Lucas chuckled and moved over and sat down, "Sorry..."

"It's OK...just tell me what's going on?"

"I told Jake that I'd talk with him about...well, whatever is going on,"

"That's good," Mr. Vadikson replied.

"Well...I didn't really tell him so much as say that we are going to talk about it...and I...I don't know...if he gets angry an-"

"Lucas," Mr. Vadikson said again, his son stopping in mid-sentence. "Relax," he said with a sigh.

"Sorry...I just can't seem to," Lucas replied, wringing his paws together constantly.

Mr. Vadikson laughed softly at his son's nervous behavior, it was a rare sight to see. After a moment he sat down next to him, "Well, it's a good thing still,"

"How?"

"I can't just tell you everything ya' know?"

"Yeah, but what about this...how is this a good thing?"

"Talking something out is never a bad thing,"

Lucas looked at his father, "What about with you and Mom? What do ya'll do about me?"

Mr. Vadikson looked up in surprise at his son, the question wasn't bad, in fact that was the problem; it was a good one. He didn't mind answering it. "Me and your mother...regarding you; we both have our own views. We talk about it quiet frequently, and we've never once agreed on it. But Lucas; that doesn't mean we fight all the time. We still have lots of good times together. Just because there is a disagreement doesn't mean you can't be happy,"

Lucas relaxed a little, "I know, but...I don't want to have a disagreement...I mean, I don't even know if we're in a disagreement. I just want to know if he's OK. I don't want to have troubles..."

"Well, that's too bad," Mr. Vadikson replied with a chuckle. It was a truth of life, there will be disagreements.

Lucas couldn't help but laugh also, "Wow...thanks for that one. I guess you're ri-" he was saying before he heard a door close. Lucas jumped up immediately and ran to the door and opened it. He saw Jake's car down the drive way and felt his legs moving without even being told to move. His previous feelings of apprehension and anxiety were gone; replaced by joy at the sight of the bear. It only took him a few seconds to reach the bear from the house. He felt himself trying to stop, but the fact that his driveway went downhill made it difficult. Instead of stopping in front of Jake he ran into the bear, who grunted as he caught the wolf. Lucas looked up immediately, "I'm glad to see you,"

Jake smiled and hugged the wolf gently, "I can tell,"

Lucas leaned up and kissed the bear gently on the lips, before hugging him tightly. He nuzzled the bear for a few moments.

Jake released the wolf and they began to move up the driveway. He saw Mr. Vadikson at the top and waved. He felt much like Lucas did, he had been nervous. After he had pulled into Lucas's neighborhood though all the depressing waves stopped, canceled out and over powered by his happiness to see the wolf. Jake smiled happily down at his mate, and fought the urge to pick him up and spin around with him. As they walked Jake couldn't help but noticed how Lucas's tail swished back and forth. He walked up and extended his paw to Mr. Vadikson, and let out a surprised grunt as he was brought into a quick hug.

"Hey Jake," Mr. Vadikson said as he released the bear.

"Hi, how are you?"

"I'm good..." he said and stared at the two. He could see as they were both happy to see each other, there was hardly a hairs space between them, "well, let's all go inside, it's cold,"

Jake looked down at Lucas, and then at Mr. Vadikson, "Umm..."

Mr. Vadikson looked over at Jake and saw the doubt. He realized that Jake hadn't been in the house since summer, since Mrs. Vadikson's insults. He caught onto the bear's discomfort quickly, "Don't worry about it. She's really calmed down..."

Jake looked back to Lucas, waiting for a sign from the wolf.

Lucas looked to his father though, who completed the cycle by nodding. Lucas reached out and took the bear's paw as he led him into the house. Upon entering Ana ran up and hugged the bear, squealing about how nice it was to see him.

Jake patted Ana on the head, "Hey there Ana..." he said, still nervous about the looming aura he could already feel.

Mr. Vadikson looked down at his daughter, "OK Ana...let go of Jake,"

Jake watched as the pup let go of him immediately returned to her previous task, coloring something in a book. It was funny how quickly her attention faded. Jake looked to the side and saw Mrs. Vadikson, who was walking towards him. Jake tried to wave and realized he was still holding the wolf's paw.

"I guess I'm about to head out Mom," Lucas told his mother.

"Be careful," she said. She looked over at Jake, her stare full of spite. "Hello,"

Jake felt a lump in his throat and tried to speak, "Hey," he said as his voice cracked while speaking-his voice going from his regular tone to what sounded like a screech. He immediately closed his mouth, feeling that it would've been better had he not spoken at all, and felt Lucas squeezing his paw. Jake felt his eyes become glued to the floor.

Mrs. Vadikson smiled, though it was more of a sneer, at Jake. She was glad to see his nervousness, glad to see him shuffle. She moved forward and watched as the bear took a step back, and suppressed a scoff in her throat. To disguise the threatening walk she moved towards her son and hugged him, "Be careful,"

Lucas hugged his mother back with one arm, not letting go of Jake's paw, "I'll see ya' in a week or so," he said. He could tell his mother wasn't happy with him still holding the bear's paw, but he didn't let go.

Mr. Vadikson looked over at Jake and at his wife, "Well, ya'll are staying for a bit, right?"

Jake looked down at Lucas, caught in-between staying and talking with Mr. Vadikson and being with Mrs. Vadikson, or with leaving and running away. The answer was obvious as Lucas leaned up and kissed the him on his cheek, before pulling on him a bit, leading him further into the house.

"Yeah, we'll sit around for a bit," Lucas remarked. He looked to his mother and could tell she wasn't even bothering to hide her discontent with what he'd done. He didn't regret it though, he hadn't seen Jake in a week, and wasn't going to let even his mother take away his good mood.

Jake felt a sinking feeling in his gut and looked down at the floor as he walked, avoiding any stare from Mrs. Vadikson. They all sat down in the living room and Jake sat next to Lucas, not enough room for a piece of paper in-between them. He took off his glasses and put them in his pocket. Jake continued to stare down at the floor, "So...how was ya'lls Thanksgiving?"

"Good, nice to spend time with family," Mrs. Vadikson said, watching as Jake flinched at every word.

Lucas already knew what his mother was doing and squeezed Jake's paw again, "Yeah, it was nice...how about yours Big-guy?"

"Not bad...it was nice to see the family, I guess," Jake replied.

Mr. Vadikson spoke next, trying to keep his wife from saying anything about the bear's comments, "That's good. Are you looking forward to Christmas?"

"Yeah...it should be fun,"

Mrs. Vadikson stood up, "I'll be right back...I feel like getting a drink...would anyone like one? Jake?"

Everyone said no, and Jake shook his head, he couldn't bring himself to say anything. After she left Mr. Vadikson looked at him.

"Jake, are you OK?" he asked.

Jake looked over at Lucas.

Lucas could tell the bear wanted to speak privately, but they both knew that wasn't going to happen here. He leaned in closer to Jake, "What's up?"

"Why didn't you tell me I'd have to go inside..."

"Are you OK?"

"No! Why did you just pull me inside!" Jake whispered to Lucas. "I didn't want this to happen!"

"Why not?"

"Why not? How about the fact that your mother can't stand me? How about the fact that I think she dreams of killing me? Or how about the fact it's my fault for this? Or maybe the fact that it's hard to breath at the moment? Maybe the fact that I'm just making things worse for you and your family...Are those 'whys' good enough?" Jake asked, a bit angrily.

Lucas tried to calm the bear, "It's OK...I'm sorry...I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable,"

Jake let out a sigh, their conversation over. He didn't want to be angry with Lucas, he knew the wolf hadn't meant to. Staring at his mate for a moment he gave his best smile, which in his current condition looked like a pained wince. He leaned forward and gently kissed Lucas. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to do that," he told his mate, apologizing for lashing out. He looked over at Mr. Vadikson, who was staring at them both.

"I'm sorry about my wife..." Mr. Vadikson said. He had heard their conversation, even though he didn't need to. He knew it was upsetting for Jake to be in the house. Mr. Vadikson frowned; he didn't mean to make the bear uncomfortable and regretted making them come in so quickly.

Jake continued to stare at the ground, "It's fine...it's my fault...I should've just stayed away,"

Mr. Vadikson looked at the bear, "No, that's not right. Jake, don't worry about it, I'll handle it...besides, I think she's warming up to you a little," he said, trying to joke with the bear. From Jake's response he could tell the bear was truly nervous, he didn't even respond to the joke. Mr. Vadikson looked to the kitchen, his wife filling a glass up with ice, "I'm sorry about her,"

Jake didn't reply, his gaze on the floor not breaking. It was silent, he couldn't bring himself to say anything, it all felt like it was his fault. After a few moments, Mrs. Vadikson came back and sat back down. She stared at the bear and could almost feel his nervousness. She looked over and saw Lucas's glare, which had the opposite of its intended effect, only fueling her dislike for the bear. "What are your plans for the break Jake?"

"Umm...I'll chill at home I guess...hang out with some friends, relax a little, maybe sleep in a few days..."

"How about coming up here? You're welcome to come up at any point," Mr. Vadikson said.

"My parents may want me to be home for awhile," Jake said with a lie and didn't have to look over at Lucas to feel the wolf's frown. He'd told the wolf he would come up, and he knew he wanted to see Lucas, "And I don't want to impos-"

"You wouldn't impose at all!" Mr. Vadikson said cheerfully.

Jake knew the wolf was trying to calm him, and was glad that it was working a bit. He broke his gaze from the floor for the first time and looked over at Lucas, who mouthed a please to him. Jake looked back at Mr. Vadikson, "Are you sure?"

"Of course!" Mr. Vadikson said quickly, for fear his wife would say anything. He looked over and saw the stare he was receiving. He ignored it, he knew it was just something she would have to deal with. He wasn't about to let her intimidate his son or his son's mate. "So...how about it?"

"I...guess," Jake said, trying to overcome his own tongue that was fighting against him. He could tell that both Lucas and Mr. Vadikson were happy with the response, and was glad he took his glasses off, it made it hard to see the scowl on Mrs. Vadikson's face; it was felt though. Jake realized he was still holding Lucas's paw, more appropriately, squeezing it. He released his grip and could tell Lucas had been biting his tongue about saying something as the wolf sighed in relief. Jake felt a great relief of his own when Mrs. Vadikson left, not giving a reason though. Jake looked over at Mr. Vadikson.

"I won't force you to come if you don't want to," Mr. Vadikson said.

Lucas looked over at the bear and bit his tongue. He knew Jake knew what he wanted, but he didn't want the bear to be unhappy.

Jake looked over at Lucas and could see the frown. He rubbed his leg against Lucas's lightly, and smiled a little, "I do want to come...it's just...I don't' want to get any of you in trouble...you see it...it's my fault," he said.

"No, it's not...stop saying that. I may have to sleep on the couch for a day or two, but she'll get over it," Mr. Vadikson said with a chuckle.

It was silent for a moment before Jake remembered he had yet to thank the wolf for the gifts directly. "Oh, I almost forgot; thank you very much for the jacket,"

Mr. Vadikson looked over at Jake and noticed the bear was wearing it, "You like it?"

"Yes, it's great...the best part is that it's my size," Jake replied with a laugh.

"I'm glad," Mr. Vadikson said. He was happy to see Jake and Lucas together, though he could tell how nervous Jake was. It was better though, Jake acted more like himself once Mrs. Vadikson had left. He was able to speak a bit more freely and even laughed a few times. After a few more minutes they began to leave.

Lucas pried his paw out of Jake's, an equally difficult task for both. He walked over and ruffled Ana's headfur once more before giving her a quick hug goodbye. He then walked over to his father, "Thanks for everything...I'll see you soon?"

Mr. Vadikson hugged his son, "Yeah,"

Lucas held onto his father for a bit, "Bye..."

Mr. Vadikson pulled away from his son and finally looked over at Jake, "It was good to see you. Take care of my son for me," he said, half-way jokingly.

Jake smiled, "I will...thank you..."

Mr. Vadikson hugged Jake lightly and then looked at them both, "Well...you two are going to make a late time if you don't head out now,"

Jake looked at the clock and back to Mr. Vadikson, the black wolf smiling at them. He then looked at Lucas, "Yeah...well, you ready to go?"

Lucas smiled and grabbed his bags, "Yep, let's roll Big-guy," he said. Lucas looked over at his father one last time, "We'll see ya' soon," he said and began to walk out the door.

Mr. Vadikson watched as his son walked to the bear's car and threw in his stuff. It only took them a minute before they were out of sight and on their way back to the school.

They spoke freely at first, both speaking about what they had done over the break. Jake felt happy to be back with the wolf, which was evident from his tone and how quickly he was talking. After an hour things began to slow down though, both beginning to realize that the inevitable was coming up; they would have to talk about a more serious matter that was dawning upon them. Jake knew it was close when they both couldn't say anything else. He was glad it wasn't immediate though, instead both just watching the road pass by. Jake tried to prepare himself for it, but found there was no way to, every thought running down the next and none making sense.

Lucas found that time was flying by, unlike before the bear had come; it seemed to only take a second for an hour to pass. He realized they were getting close to the apartment when he saw the sign stating they were now entering Kirson. Lucas let out a sigh and looked over at Jake.

Jake heard the sigh and immediately tensed. He tried to relax but found that was next to impossible. He wasn't sure why he was nervous, he had no reason to be. Even though he kept saying it in his mind he never believed it, every moment making his breath come shorter and shorter.

Lucas took in a deep breath and decided to start the conversation, "So...I guess we should talk...shouldn't we Big-guy?"

Jake stared at the road and tried to say something, but his tongue was stuck.

"Are you OK? Is there something that's up?"

"No, everything is fin-" Jake began but Lucas cut him off.

"Don't lie Jake. I don't care if you think something bad may happen...but I want to know what you think, please,"

Jake didn't respond, instead he continued to drive down the road. He knew that making the wolf believe nothing was wrong was impossible. It was strange though, he wasn't even sure exactly what was wrong. He just felt bad when thinking about the future, like it was all temporary, like their relationship may fade in the future. Jake looked over at Lucas who was staring at him, not saying anything. The silence was strange, almost scary. He looked back at the road, wanting to get away from the conversation and how it was going.

Lucas stared at the bear for a moment, watching him. He wasn't sure what was going on in Jake's head. The bear's silence made him feel as though something was wrong with him though. Lucas saw Jake look over for a moment, and just as quickly look away. Lucas opened his mouth to say something but found there weren't any words. He wasn't sure what he could say to make the bear feel better. The lights on the road passed by slowly as they quickly approached their home. Lucas knew that they were only stalling, neither sure where to take the conversation. He didn't know what to ask, he hadn't thought about it, he didn't know why Jake was keeping to himself, and he didn't know anything about what was going on in the bear's head. He let out a loud sigh and was brought out of his thoughts by the bear.

"I'm scared I guess," Jake said, deciding to tell Lucas, "I don't know why. Lucas...I know this may sound strange...but," he said and took a deep breath, "I don't want us to ever be apart...I don't mean like we just were-that would be kind of pathetic, but I did miss you...just to let you know. You know, I just want to be with you. I don't want us to, you know, fade away. I mean...Lucas, I want to spend the rest of my life with you..." he said and sighed.

"Jake..."

"Hang on Lucas," Jake interrupted and continued, "Lucas...I don't know if that's what you want though, and that's why I'm scared. I know that I want you and to be with you no matter what but I don't know if you want the same. I don't know if I'm going to be left at some point and then...I'll be stuck here...cause if that's the case...then I know I won't be able to move on. And I don't want to be a hindrance... I know it sounds stupid...I mean, when does what I'm saying not?"

Lucas wasn't sure how to describe the feeling of what was happening. It was strange, stranger than any other feeling he had experienced before. His heart was pounding fast, and his head felt like it was spinning out of control. It wasn't bliss and it wasn't sorrow, it was just emotion. He felt bad for Jake, but also happy to hear the bear wanted to be with him.

Jake looked at Lucas, "I want to...I-I...I don't even know what I'm saying," he said with a scarred voice as they began to head closer to the apartments, "I'm tired of every time I hear some stupid idea in my head about being alone that I can't help but feel that it's true, I'm sick of feeling uneasy about myself when I'm with you...because you're the only one who matters this much to me. Lucas, I've said it...I want to spend the rest of my life with you...but, what do you want?"

Lucas starred at the bear, not sure what else to do; his heart was pounding him and so was his head, both trying to say something. He took a breath and looked at Jake again, the bear's eyes were watering a bit, and Lucas felt his own eyes water a bit more than they usually would. He felt sad about what he was hearing in some ways, it was sad to hear all the bear's fears. Lucas let out a sigh and looked at his mate, "Jake...don't you remember?"

Jake looked over at the wolf, he didn't want to have to answer any questions. He couldn't tell what the wolf was thinking.

"Well, back over the summer...and well, you know...we were in the shower, I won't give any details as to what was happening, but you said something...and I agreed with you, and I still do. It was about the time before school..."

Jake let out a small sigh, he couldn't remember. He knew the incident Lucas was talking about, it was when they had made up, when he forgave the wolf. After a moment it clicked in his head, like a light bulb finding an electric circuit. "But...were you serious?"

"I want to be with you Jake-forever. I mean, sure I was saying something after we'd just..." Lucas was saying and tried to find the right word, "Well, after we'd just had a bit of fun, but that doesn't mean I didn't mean it,"

Jake couldn't help but feel a smile cover his muzzle and laughter escape his body. It didn't make any sense, he was sure he seemed crazy to Lucas at the moment but to his surprise Lucas was laughing with him. He realized he was at the apartment. He had been talking and drove the rest of the way till they were in the parking lot of the apartment. It was strange, how he didn't remember anything about the rest of the drive, but the conversations that had taken place were perfectly set in his mind. When he finally finished he looked at Lucas with a more content smile cover his muzzle.

They both sat there for a moment, neither willing to move yet. When one of them finally did it was just to turn off the radio that was now a nuisance. Lucas finally decided to break the silence, "So...you're OK now?"

Jake chuckled again, "I don't know...I mean...you aren't going anywhere?"

"Jake, I don't know what you think of yourself but you need to know what I know about you. You're a great person...the best. You have to see that, I don't get why you don't sometimes. I can't ever get over the fact that...well, we're together. You're my mate, but you're also so much more...I don't know how to say it. I'm not going anywhere, I'd be a fool to leave,"

Jake smiled, "You just think too highly of me,"

"No I don't...Jake you have to be confident in yourself,"

The smile disappeared and Jake looked out the window, "It's not easy...I don't know why but I can't. I'm sorry,"

Lucas sighed, "It's...not OK," he replied.

Jake looked back at Lucas, a bit surprised to hear the answer.

"Jake, it's not OK," Lucas said again, "You are going to have to be able to stand up for yourself. I know you know that you can do so much, so why are you beating yourself down like this?"

Jake didn't reply, he didn't know how to.

"I mean, it's weird. You're not bashful, or humble, you actually just don't think well of yourself...but you don't see how great you are," Lucas said and felt a bit sad that the previous good mood was beginning to slip away. He looked outside and saw white flakes falling to the ground. It was snowing in Kirson.

"I don't know if I am any good though..." Jake said, his own happy feeling gone away.

"You are. Just ask anyone and they'll tell you so. Jake, please try not to beat yourself up..."

"I'll try harder..." Jake said with a small sigh, "I just don't like to think too highly of myself. If other's don't say something good about me then there isn't anything good to say about me...that's how it feels, and that's how it is isn't it? I don't really try to feel this way...it just happens, a bit more often then I'd like. I don't know how I can feel good about myself when I'm such a pathetic person sometimes,"

Lucas sighed and knew that it would take time. It wouldn't matter how much he told the bear, or even he what he said made sense, Jake wouldn't care. He knew the bear would need time. He decided to try and cheer the bear up, knowing that Jake really did mean what he said. The bear really couldn't do anything about it at the moment. It would take time, and Lucas knew he would be there the entire way. He smiled and looked up at Jake, "Fine...you know what I'm going to do? I'm just going to have to complement you until you get it through you're head,"

Jake couldn't help but chuckle, "You won't..."

"Oh but I will my great, big, handsome bear," Lucas replied, watching as Jake blushed.

Jake laughed but also felt heat running through his face. "Let's head inside...It feels like I haven't been home in forever," he said, trying to hide his face.

"OK," Lucas said with a laugh and ran around the car to meet Jake. When he did he moved quickly found himself almost slipping on the slippery concrete. The next thing he knew he was in the bear's arms. Lucas hugged the bear and kissed Jake lightly on the side of his cheek, "Thank you. You know...if you blush every time then I'm just going to compliment you more,"

Jake blushed and looked back at the wolf, "If you don't stop tha-"

"Stop what?" Lucas asked with a smile. They began to walk up the stairs, both holding the other's paw. Lucas looked around, surprised at how different their home looked when there was snow.

Jake walked up the stairs, every step slow and steady so as to not trip. That was the only bad thing he didn't like about the apartment. Sometimes in the winter the steps became very slick. He could hear the wolf complimenting him with nonsense as they walked. After a moment he was at the door and unlocked it, "If you don't stop that then you know what," he said with a yawn.

"Do I?" Lucas asked and smiled at the bear, "I'm sure I hav-" he was trying to say before Jake pulled him into a hug. He looked up at the bear, "As I was saying; I'm sure I have no id-" he tried to say again but only managed to yelp into the bear's mouth as Jake kissed him. Lucas knew better than to struggle, not that he was going to. He returned the kiss and felt Jake pulling on him. Lucas felt the bear's paws gripping at him, pulling on his fur lightly. The kiss was a mix of emotion, passion was there but Lucas could also tell the bear still had some fear. After a moment Lucas pulled away and smiled at Jake, It's OK, I'm not going anywhere,"

Jake nuzzled the wolf lightly.

Lucas chuckled, "At least not with someone who can kiss like that,"

Jake felt his face go red and he pushed on the wolf, "Stop that!" he said, trying to hide his face. He yawned again, all the debt for sleep over the holiday playing on him.

Lucas couldn't help but laugh, "It's not my fault, I'm just telling you the truth," he said as the bear moved away. Lucas wrapped his arms around Jake as he tried to escape, "Don't be so embarrassed Big-guy,"

Jake looked up at the wolf, "You really aren't going to stop?"

"Not until I think you're doing better....and even then...it's fun,"

Jake blushed again, but was glad it wasn't as bad. He looked at Lucas again and kissed him lightly on the lips, followed by yet another yawn.

"You're tired," Lucas said, lightly rubbing the bear's back.

"No...I'm fiiinne," Jake said with a yawn.

Lucas stared at the bear a bit. He looked more seriously at Jake and moved his paws up and took off the bear's glasses. It didn't take long for him to see the bear's eyes were red and glassy. "Jake, have you not been sleeping well still?"

"What? No, I've..." he began and stopped himself. Jake let out a slight sigh, "No, I haven't been..."

Lucas was happy to hear Jake being more honest with him, but disappointed the bear was neglecting his rest. He rubbed the bear's cheek and kissed Jake again, "Well, let's get you to bed Big-guy,"

Jake didn't bother disagreeing. He walked with the wolf into their bedroom. He looked over at a clock, it was only eleven. Letting out a smaller yawn Jake sat down on the bed and adjusted a pillow. He lay down and saw Lucas taking off his shirt and pants. He watched as Lucas lay down next to him. "You don't have to try and go to sleep if you aren't tired..." Jake said with a yawn.

Lucas smiled and leaned closer to Jake, nuzzling the bear, "I want to be with you, so I don't care," he replied. He nuzzled at the ruff of the bear's chest, Jake's shirt making it rather difficult. Lucas ran his paws up the bear's side, playing with the fur under the shirt. He looked up at Jake, "Big-guy?"

"Yeah?"

Lucas continued to play gently with the bear's fur, "Could you...take off your shirt?" he asked, and felt his face blush a little.

Jake looked at Lucas for a few moments, before sighing and sitting up. He never liked to take off his clothes-he still felt embarrassed even with Lucas. The wolf was smaller than him and looked much more fit, unlike him. Even though he knew they were both healthy he couldn't help but think others saw Lucas as much more so. He wasn't unhealthy, though he didn't work out as much, but he was fatter than the wolf. Jake always felt as though he didn't look attractive, he didn't have bulging muscles, he wasn't lean, he didn't always wear the best clothes, nothing about his appearance seemed good to him. It wasn't that it was bad, just that it wasn't good, like he was just there. The discomfort was always there, he didn't want to have someone to be able to look at him and judge him. he knew that he was the most healthy member of his family, that the rest were all basically walking guts. His body had form to it at least. He always thought that there was no reason he would be complimented about how he looked. Jake realized he wasn't doing anything, instead staring down at Lucas, his paws at his shirt but not moving.

Lucas looked up at Jake, "What's wrong?"

Jake looked away, "Nothing,"

Lucas sighed and moved his paws to the bear's shirt. "Jake..." he said firmly before kissing the bear gently on the cheek, "take off your shirt,"

Jake stared at Lucas, and felt the wolf's paws moving his shirt off his body. He didn't fight it though. Jake leaned forward and nuzzled Lucas, "Sorry...I'm acting like a moron aren't I?"

Lucas laughed lightly and rubbed the bear's stomach. After a minute Jake lifted his arms and Lucas pulled the shirt off the bear. He leaned in and nuzzled Jake, nestling closer to his mate. It was sad to hear the bear's thoughts about himself, how wrong they were. Jake was heavy, but there was also substantial muscle with him. Lucas lay down next to Jake and buried his head in the bear's chest, nuzzling at Jake's ruff. He took in breaths, and let out a content sigh, the bear's scent washing over him. "I missed you," he said lightly.

Jake placed an arm over Lucas and pulled him closer, "I missed you too..." he said and pulled on Lucas more. It hit him that the wolf had changed over their time together. Lucas wasn't the same lean, thin wolf he had been-he had actually gained some weight, some definition to his body. Jake nestled himself as close to the wolf as he could, he wanted to keep going but his body told him to sleep. Jake smiled, there would be time to play with the wolf later.

Lucas watched as Jake faded in and out of consciousness. He was glad to see Jake going to sleep so quickly though, "Night Big-guy,"

"Night...love," Jake replied, falling into sleep.

Lucas watched Jake sleep for a bit, enjoying the closeness. It was strange how the bear would occasionally pull on him even in his sleep, but he didn't mind. In fact he had come to enjoy it, it always ensured he was close to Jake. He watched as Jake shuffled in his sleep, the bear mumbling under his breath. Lucas smiled as he watched his mate sleep, it was strange, the idea of watching anyone sleep sounded boring. It sounded dreadful, but he could watch the bear and always enjoy it. He knew he would stay up just to watch the bear sleep, it would never be a hard question if he had a choice. Lucas continued to gently nuzzle the bear and play with his fur; it always felt great-the bear's fur. Lucas smiled, a few more complements to share with Jake coming to his mind as he began to fall asleep himself.