FSE

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Chapter 49

I would have given anything for Logan to notice me just two months ago, Sophia chewed nervously on the plastic of her pen. Now what?

In front of the class, Ms. Collins lectured on the differences between protein transcription and translation. Like every other class so far that day, Sophia heard almost none of it. The open page in her notebook was still mostly blank but for a few disjointed notes from the handful of times she remembered she was supposed to be paying attention.

Do I tell him I’m taken? She pulled the pen out of her mouth and examined the bite marks on it. But what if he’s just being friendly? He’s the only one who’s been nice to me today.

Idly, she started fidgeting with the pen, her fingers tracing the indents from her teeth. None of the marks so far were from her changed canines.

It’s starting to snow harder, her heart sank as she glanced out the window. If this continues, I won’t be able to see Shadow.

“Sophia?” Ms. Collins said suddenly, pausing mid-stroke on the marker board.

Tap, tap, tap.

Sophia realized she had been tapping her pen against one of her canines. Blushing, she quickly dropped her hand with the pen to her desk.

“Sorry,” she apologized sheepishly.

There were a few snickers from the class, but Ms. Collins simply returned to her lecture. Chastened, Sophia self-consciously jotted down a few more lines of notes. Her burst of studiousness didn’t last long, however.

I wonder what a betta fish would taste like? The hum of the tank containing the classroom’s betta fish drew her attention.

The blue betta fish just swam in place like it always had, blissfully unaware that anything in the classroom might be contemplating making a meal out of it. Sophia watched it for a little while, considering the fishy smell she could just pick up. She had noticed the scent the month before of course, but it held new interest that afternoon.

I just ate lunch, why am I thinking about food? Sophia forced her attention back to the lecture, scribbling another line in her notebook. Besides, I strongly doubt Ms. Collins would be pleased if I ate her fish.

A flicker of movement drew her eyes to a stack of papers on the window ledge. Some of the loose sheets of paper in the pile were bobbing up and down.

Ah, just air from the vent. Fascinated, she watched them for a while.

The bell rang and Sophia looked forward in surprise. While the rest of the class walked out, she hastily wrote down the assignment on the board.

“Sophia, is everything alright?” Ms. Collins asked as Sophia reached the front of the room. “You seem really distracted today.”

Oh, was it that noticeable? Sophia froze mid-stride.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Sophia answered, forcing a smile. “Just a bit out of it after the holidays.”

“Alright, just let me know if there’s something else going on,” Ms. Collins gave a warm smile.

Oh, my life is just hell, that’s all.

“Right, sure!” Sophia tried to sound cheerful and then walked out before her teacher could say anything else.

Is chewing on pencils a wolf thing? Sophia grimaced at the indents on her pencil as she put it away after art class. It feels kind of good, but it’s certainly not making me any less hungry.

Sighing, she clicked shut her art supply case and headed for the exit.

“Sophia?” Ms. Braun called out to her before she could leave.

Now what? Sophia stiffened and turned sharply.

“You forgot to upload your assignment to my dropbox, dear,” her teacher reminded her gently.

“Oh yeah,” Sophia tried to sound scatterbrained, which wasn’t hard. “Oops, I’ll get that in.”

After I do it. She gave her best disarming smile and left. If I do it.

In the hall, she continued to do her best to ignore the stares and hushed whispers that followed her on her way to her locker. There were a few mock howls and one snide remark about animals not belonging in school but no one tried anything physical. At her locker, she found someone had slipped in a piece of paper with “No Dogs Allowed!” written in large letters. Tearing it off, she sniffed it but couldn’t detect any identifiable scents. Crumpling it up angrily, she let it fall to the floor outside her locker.

Wolf, not a dog! She thought indignantly as she pulled out what she needed for Environmental Science. If you’re going to make fun of me, at least get that right!

Sophia closed her locker, turned and froze. Twenty feet down the hall Katie and Maggie were chatting. Maggie noticed Sophia and her face darkened. She said something to Katie and then glowered at Sophia before spinning and stalking off in the opposite direction. To Sophia’s surprise, Katie didn’t immediately follow. She squinted at Sophia and then her eyes widened in shock behind her glasses.

It took a few seconds for Maggie to notice Katie hadn’t followed her. Abruptly, she turned back around and insistently pulled on the other girl’s arm when she reached her. Katie gave Sophia one last quizzical look before turning and hurrying after Maggie.

That’s really it then. Sophia closed her eyes, feeling emotionally wrung out. I don’t know why I expected anything else from trying to make friends. And Ms. Taylor is next; she’s going to be so disappointed in me. Her stomach complained, drawing her attention. Of course, to top it all off, I’m hungry.

Taking a ragged breath, she opened her eyes and trudged towards her next class.

She hasn’t acted any different today, despite her hunger and the plentiful sensory distractions, Sophia had restlessly watched Ms. Taylor the whole period. Maybe it’s not too late; maybe I can find an explanation and make things better.

Aside from a brief look of surprise when the teacher saw Sophia, she hadn’t acted any different than she usually did. The lack of apparent reaction set Sophia's human and wolf instincts on edge, but it also gave her a sense of hope. She had spent most of the class with her heart pounding, her hair on end and tense muscles fruitlessly trying to fold her ears even while she considered idea after idea.

I could tell her that I had a panic attack, chanced on someone out on the road and was too embarrassed to tell anyone? She fought back guilt and shame at the thought of lying. This would be easier if I didn’t also need a bathroom. Her bladder and bowels had also been growing insistent over the course of the class.

At last, the bell rang and she waited anxiously while everyone else was getting packed up. Ms. Taylor’s gaze turned to her at last and she arched an eyebrow. Sophia simply shrugged and waited for everyone to leave.

“I assume you want to talk about yesterday?” Ms. Taylor prompted her after the last student left. “You had quite the night from what I hear.”

I guess she does know. Hunger retreated as icy dread filled her stomach. Here goes.

Slipping out of her desk, she headed towards the front of the room. She leaned back on her legs while watching her teacher intently.

“What are you doing, Sophia?” Ms. Taylor asked, her troubled expression turning to confusion.

Sophia paused, perplexed herself. Am I doing something wrong..? She looked down at her hands on the cold, hard floor. I don’t get it… She looked back up at the surprised teacher, cocking her head questioningly.

“Why are you…” Ms. Taylor stuttered. “Why are you crawling on the floor?”

Crawling..? Sophia looked back down at her hands and then went rigid. Oh God, I’m on all fours in front of Ms. Taylor.

Blushing furiously, she hit her elbow on a desk in her scramble to get up. Painful tingles radiated through her arm as she failed to find her balance. Her legs collapsed and she fell painfully onto her butt. Just barely, she stopped herself from losing control of her bladder or slamming her head against a desk.

“Are you okay?” Ms. Taylor asked in a worried voice, sounding surprisingly close.

“Ahh!” Sophia cried out as she leaned forward, clutching her stunned elbow.

Gah, my funny bone! Too late, she realized her mouth was hanging open.

“Oh my!” Ms. Taylor gasped sharply.

Sophia’s eyes flew open as she shut her mouth, finally registering that the scent of hand lotion and breath mint had sharply intensified. The teacher was crouched a few feet in front of her, her mouth hanging open. Heat rose in Sophia’s face.

Please just let me die now. A pit formed in her stomach. I screwed everything up.

“I’m okay,” Sophia managed weakly as the painful tingling in her elbow subsided. “I should get to my next class.”

“Sophia-“ Ms. Taylor started as Sophia got to her feet.

“Really, I’m fine,” Sophia insisted, trying to avoid the teacher’s worried gaze. “Everything is fine.”

My one chance and I screwed everything up.

Adrenaline pumping, she squeezed past the stunned teacher. Tears appeared in her eyes as she walked out of the classroom.

“It’s Wolfgirl!” someone exclaimed in the hall.

She bared her teeth warningly.

Yes, it is. Dodging around a group of students, she saw an exit door and headed towards it. Why did I think I could be anything but Wolfgirl? Why am I fighting it?

Tears ran down her cheeks, clouding her vision. It wasn’t until she was almost to the door that she saw snow falling, thick and heavy. A pile of snow lay against the door, blocking it. Outside, heavy falling snow swirled.

Sophia skidded to a halt, panic shooting through her. I’m trapped!

“Are you okay?” A girl asked her and then squealed when Sophia snarled at her.

Run! Sophia darted past, feeling the stares from the other students. Hide!

Flinging the girl’s bathroom door open, she dashed inside. Two girls looked up in surprise as she burst in. To her relief, one of the stalls was open and she ducked into it. She had just enough presence of mind to remember how to close and latch the door before collapsing onto the toilet. Tears fell down her face as she tried to slow her breathing.

I’ll just stay in here until the two-legs are gone, her bladder and bowels complained as they were roughly compressed. Oh, right, I actually do need to go.

Standing, she pulled down her pants and sat back down just as the warning bell echoed through the room. As she relieved herself, her panic started to subside and sensory information started to filter in.

I should have checked out the scents before covering them up, she agreed with Wolfgirl regretfully. Even if they’re all from two-legs.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when the toilet flushed in the stall next to her and the stall door squeaked open. Sophia slowed her breathing and kept herself completely still as she listened intently. She didn’t dare move again until she heard the main bathroom door close.

Just a little while longer and you’ll have complete control, Wolfgirl; I can’t take it anymore. She sniffed as another tear fell. I should flush so no one can smell that I’m here.

After pushing the flush lever, she quickly stood and pulled her pants back up.

Kind of a strange worry when they could just smell me here, Sophia shook her head at the strange thought. Tw- humans can’t smell anything anyway.

Sitting back down, she scooted back and leaned against the cold metal of the flush stem before raising her feet and placing them on the seat. Fighting the renewed irritation her clothes were giving her, she tried to relax. After another minute, the bell signaling the start of the last period of the day sounded.

That’s it, she wrapped her arms around her legs and leaned her forehead against them. No going back now.

The time passed agonizingly slowly. A couple of people came in to use the bathroom, punctuating her bored discomfort with a couple of minutes of sheer terror. She tried distracting herself by seeing if she could differentiate individual scents from each other. However, aside from those left by those who used the neighboring stall while she sat there, she couldn’t quite tease them apart. Even her own scent faded as she grew accustomed to it.

Trying to keep her mind busy, she ran through her plan repeatedly. Alright, after the last bell, I’ll wait a few minutes before heading to my locker. Once I have my snowsuit, boots and backpack, I’ll slip out. Hunger interrupted her thoughts. I really hope Shadow has something to eat.

The loudspeaker beeped and Sophia yelped in surprise.

“Good afternoon Woodbury High,” the vice principal said over it as she usually did. “Due to inclement weather, all after-school activities have been canceled. Be sure to check the school website tomorrow morning for any potential schedule changes.”

The woman read off a few more announcements and then signed off, leaving Sophia in silence again.

The weather is that bad? Sophia’s heart raced and she felt sick. How am I going to find Shadow?

After another long minute, the final bell rang. Sophia lowered her feet and waited impatiently.

I just need to act human a little longer, she tried to encourage herself as Woflgirl grew restless. Then I won’t have to ever again.

The door opened and several chatty girls came in. One went into the stall next to Sophia while the other stood outside still talking with her friend. Sophia counted to thirty and then stood and flushed the toilet. She opened the stall door and hurried past the girl, making sure she didn’t get a look at her face.

Wash hands, she stepped over to the sink and turned it on as several more girls came in. No, don’t stop to smell anything.

After drying her hands as casually as she could, Sophia headed out of the bathroom. Keeping her face down and mouth closed, she joined the rest of the student body and made her way to her locker. Seeing her locker neighbors were there, she stepped out of the stream of students and pretended to adjust her sandals.

Just act casually, the pervasive human scents and noises in the hall were threatening to send her into a panic again.

Finally, her neighbors left and she rushed over to her locker. Opening it, she grabbed her snowsuit and boots. Her eyes fell on her drawing of her mother in the back of her locker and she paused.

This is the last time I’ll see that, she shook her head, choking back emotions that threatened to overcome her. No time.

Grabbing her backpack, she emptied any remaining school supplies into her locker and set it on the floor outside of it. She closed her locker, slipped off her sandals and started yanking on her boots and snowsuit. Grabbing her hat from her bag, she pulled the rim down to partially cover her eyes. After slinging her mostly empty backpack over her shoulders, she slipped behind a group of students in winter wear.

Almost out, her whole body trembled as she kept pace with the group. Almost free.

The group chatted ahead of her, seemingly oblivious that they were being shadowed. Sophia kept her head low but continued to watch her surroundings carefully.

She sniffed the air intently. Huh, one of the kids has a strange wolf on their clothes. Walking faster, she sniffed again. I think it’s female. It took her a moment to realize she was gaining on the group. Keep it together.

They reached the main entrance for the school and the group stopped to pull on hats and gloves.

“Excuse me,” Sophia muttered as she pushed past, pushing open the inner door.

A few more steps, another door - and an icy blast blew what felt like needles into her face.

Ack! Startled, she looked up just to be forced to squint against the heavily blowing snow and her heart sank. No, no, no!

The wind pushed at her as she trudged through the quickly accumulating snow. Ahead, she could barely see the end of the parking lot through the swirling snow. People in the lot struggled to clear snow off of their vehicles as a long line of cars snaked towards the lot’s exit.

I’m a wolf! She fought against the wind as she turned east. I can handle a blizzard. Instinct told her to get out of the wind. You’re not helping!

Gritting her teeth, she headed towards her soon-to-be former home - and the mountains beyond.

By the time she reached what had been her road, her teeth chattered and the exposed skin on her face was getting numb. Despite that, fiery determination flowed through her veins. Instead of turning onto her road, she continued past.

I’m coming Shadow! She pushed herself forward, walking past the house at the end of her street.

Clambering over the pile of plowed snow at the end of the road, she reached the top and slid down to the other side. She crawled over the mix of fresh, powdery snow and dirty chunks of ice at the base of the pile. When she reached the undisturbed snow in the field, her spirits rose.

I’m a creature of the wild! Giving herself entirely to Wolfgirl, she boosted herself onto all fours and started to pump her limbs forward. I belong with my mate!

She made it two strides before her right arm sank deep into the powdery snow and she tumbled forward, face-first, into the snow.