The Hedgehog can never be buggered at all
#1 of Music
This is a work in progress, so if you're reading the entertaining literature below, please do comment on what your thoughts are. *hands out a begging bowl* Comedy for the poor, comedy for the poor, help us get a laugh...
All seriousness aside, this is based off a title by Terry Pratchett, who's character Nanny Ogg used to sing when she got rousingly drunk. Apparently it had a ridiculous amount of verses, which must have probably meant one for every creature on the disc.
I'd like to discuss, if no one objects On the delicate subject of animal sex With a creature wellknown as covered in spines And related to those you call porcupines!
Chorus:The Hedgehog can never be buggered at all. And humans prefer if you're not too small You can have a good horse, if you visit it's stall But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all!
Now if any cops were listening then They'd tell you the sentence is 5 years to 10 But your punishment would come if you take the risk With the prickly fellow who lives on the disc!
Chorus:The Hedgehog can never be buggered at all. You can play with a pony, and then do it all With the deep sea fish, if you don't mind to trawl But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all!
Now dragons are said to be creatures of myth And frankly not something to be partners with You'd do your research, if you are not dumb Or end up immersed in a pool of their cum!
Chorus:The Hedgehog can never be buggered at all. You can dance with the wolves, when you hear them call. You can rape a poor reindeer and play "Deck the Balls" But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all!
You'd think that those aqua's were safe from your lust And those avian creatures, try hard as you must But even a dolphin to it's lover it clings And at climax with birds, the dawn chorus sings!
Chorus:The Hedgehog can never be buggered at all. You can take on a shark, if you've got the gall! With a ladder, a giraffe, if you're not scared you'll fall, But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all!
Now dogs are quite easy, and foxes are sly The cats with their claws, they can be quite shy But if you patient, if you wait like a rock Like a rooster, you can give em, a new kind of cock!
Chorus:The Hedgehog can never be buggered at all. Mice are just proof you can't get too small Americans will join if you say "Come y'all" But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all!
The end is nigh, so please do attend And be careful with those, that you'd like to rear end Remember my words, and don't think me that thick For a pain in the ass beats a pain in the prick!
Chorus:The Hedgehog can never be buggered at all. Those bestial stories, one long chronicle The demon inside you, it loves to recall But despite your desires And all your attires Still the hedgehog can never be buggered at all!