Dragon and Human Relationships
Red in Nature, Tooth & Claw: Dragon and Human Relationships
San Fernando Valley, California
November 4, 2060
By JONAH
This is part one of a continuing series of articles about the relationship between dracians -- as our draconic immigrants have been known -- and humans. This article deals with the specific effect that the speciesist influence is having on mixed dracian-human couples.
The speciesist movement consists of organized groups of people with moral agendas against relationships between dragon and human. They believe in the importance of distancing humanity from the "increasing immoral influences" that dragons have in our culture.
The more dragons are assimilated into our society such as work, school and home environments, the more protests and banner waving are seen from these speciesists and their righteous, finger-waving supporters. They believe it's not only morally wrong for humans and dragons to have interspecies relationships, but legal unions between the two should be prohibited by a constitutional ban. Currently 5 out of 52 states recognize dracian-human marital unions.
I spoke to a dracian-human couple recently married and residing in a state that recognizes interspecies marital unions. The young man, Shannon, and his dragoness wife, D'Lou, spoke out against the Christian groups because many of these groups have a long history of actively supporting the speciesists.
"These terrible people work tirelessly to keep laws against interspecies marriages," explained Shannon. "They're little more than bullies." Shannon stood up and walked behind his dracian wife, D'Lou, a dragon from the House of Pon Dax, while continuing in an angry tone. "We're not harming anybody. They talk as if my wife is some dumb beast or something. But you know what, I love her. She's beautiful, and I want little more than to dedicate the rest of my life to her." When he was done speaking she grabbed his arm with her clawed hand, motioning for him to take a seat. As Shannon walked around, he wrapped his arm partially around her girth and smiled. "You know, I can honestly say I have never been so happy in my life," he said as he sat next to her, warmly holding her large clawed hand.
"Me too," D'Lou said, "I took his mark here." She pointed to her scaled rump.
"I got her name tattooed on my butt cheek, too," Shannon said. "She insisted we do it the day after [the wedding]." He laughed, "I'm just glad she has a short name!"
I asked about this tradition. They explained it's an old dracian custom of wearing each other's mark as a display of marital status. 'Taking the brand' as it's also known, is a process of marking a permanent brand of his or her partner's house (family line) in the shape of a pictograph on the hip, buttocks or lower back area. The human is tattooed a permanent pictograph representing the dragon's house � while the dragon will take the human's surname. People may also elect to 'take the brand' on the back of the webbing between the thumb and index finger of their left hand either in addition to, or in place of, a traditional wedding band as a way to publicly acknowledge their dracian marital status.
However, not everyone is as open about their interspecies marital status; in fact, there are people whose families and friends have no knowledge. Many people are afraid of offending their families -- or possibly even loosing their jobs -- if their marriage to a dragon became publicly known. I spoke to a couple who declined to give their names: a man and dragoness, living in San Fernando Valley, CA. They have been a couple for 3 years and currently live in separate residences about 10 minutes from each other. "We talk frequently about moving in together," he said, "but I'm a police officer in the valley and though there is no law specifically against marriage [with dragons] in the State of California, I am concerned about what some of my more conservative superiors would think. However, I do believe it's only a matter of time before things change for the better."
"We met 4 years ago and made a union soon after," his dragoness partner said bluntly, "I fell in love with him, or I would not live this way."
I spoke to another interspecies couple living in a small farming community just outside of Shreveport, Louisiana. Both the man and dragoness wished to be anonymous. They met about 2 years ago and began dating almost immediately. They were married in Alexandria earlier this year. Both live separate from each other. The dragoness appeared less tolerant of living apart than the previous couple I interviewed. I asked if they had a good relationship. "I think we do. I'm happier now than I have been anytime in my life," he said. "And I moved closer, so now we're only about 5 minutes apart."
The dragoness appeared agitated. "No -- we should move in together," she growled, "Why pay separate housing when we can live together?" She added, "I understand his concerns -- but I don't like living apart. I need him -- I need more of him. When I go to sleep I want to feel him curled inside my arms at night."
The gentleman reached up and kissed the dragoness softly on the mouth, then wrapped his arms partially around her large girth. "I'm sorry, honey. I love you so much. You know that, right?" The dragoness was silent, probably afraid of being emotional if she spoke.
I asked the gentleman what concerns he had in the relationship. "Well, I guess, I'm just not ready to make that big of a step and make public our relationship right now. Moving in together changes all of that, you know. It's not easy hiding a female dragon that weighs half a ton from the neighbors. You can't hide something like this from the neighbors -- and you know, people figure it out pretty quick what's going on. They're not stupid," he added. "But other than that issue, I think our relationship is pretty good. I mean, we do see each other just about every day."
"It could be better," the dragoness said matter-of-factly. "I learned to understand humans and adjust my life having a human as my partner -- but he needs to understand me better and meet me half way. I don't feel he meets me half way -- and I want him more than this. It's not fair to me."
During my interviews I learned it's often not easy having a relationship with a dragon, especially in the smaller communities which are usually more socially conservative than the rest of the nation.
The larger cities tend to be more tolerant of unique lifestyles -- including interspecies ones. For example, I interviewed an outwardly open same-sex male couple named Mike and Tannin who live together in an affluent suburb of Los Angeles. The recently engaged dracian-human couple met several years ago. When asked how their families felt about their relationship, Mike (the human) said his parents were supportive of his lifestyle. "My parents want me to be happy," he said, "but they're not exactly pleased that Tannin and I live together." I asked if they have a problem with Tannin because he's a dragon or because of the same-sex relationship. "No, it's not because he's a dragon, per se," he explained, "and my parents are fine with me being gay -- but the problem my parents have is that I have a relationship outside of marriage. And especially since my parents know the -- well, they know the reputation dragon's have for sex -- but mostly she doesn't believe its morally right to have sex outside of marriage. The fact that Tannin is a dragon is not really an issue with my parents at all." Mike said they plan on getting married in April. "My parents were quite happy to hear we got engaged!" he said.
Dragons don't seem to be bound by our social taboos. When I asked Tannin if his family had any problems of same-sex marriage with a human -- or even sex outside of marriage -- he explained that his parents have some concerns. "Dragons have stronger sex drives than humans -- I'm no exception," he said bluntly. "Sex is important to me -- my parents know this and want me to be happy and this is the only thing they care about. Mike understands this, and is able to satisfy me."
"Yeah, we communicate pretty well," Mike said. "Because going into this relationship it became pretty obvious real quick that Tannin was unlike any human partner I've ever had." Tannin smiled widely as he stroked his clawed hand along Mike's back. "Tannin was the first dragon I've ever been with sexually, and the first night we were together he almost sent me to the hospital. Dragons and humans are built differently, so if a person is going to have sex with a [male] dragon, then it's very important to know your limitations and communicate these limitation your dragon partner." I asked Mike if he's satisfied sexually. "Obviously, you know, there are physical limits to our relationship, but I think we've managed to work them out pretty well."
"I am pleased," Tannin said. "There are ways a human can satisfy the largest dragon if both want it to work. Sometimes it just takes practice. Mike and I enjoy each other the conventional way now, but he needs to warm up first. The human body can take a lot. Time and effort, it's worth it."
Some of the compatibility issues that face dracian-human relationships aren't just physiological -- but are also emotional in nature. We can all agree that dragons have a tough exterior to be sure, but those who know them soon discover they have an emotional side -- a side that often requires more attention than people are able to give; especially with today's busy lifestyle. Therapists often advise against dragon-human relationships if you don't have the time to spend with them.
"They require more maintenance, especially the females" said Dr. Donald J. Morris, a practicing psychotherapist in Los Angeles. "I cannot tell you how many dracian-human couples I've counseled over the last twenty years. I'm not saying I am against these relationships. What I am saying is people need to understand the emotional architecture of a dragon's psychological framework. For example, we all know dragons have quite a strong sense of territory, and guess what, when you are in a relationship with a dragon there is a tendency to become his or her possession. It's that simple."
He continued, "I'm not saying its wrong or right. What I am saying is that it's a fact as it pertains to their species, a fact people should be fully cognizant about. In other words, expect a dragon to demand your companionship more than you feel comfortable -- or have time for," he explained. "If you have personal or professional time constraints, then you should seriously consider staying within your own species; otherwise, having an anxious half-ton predator in your life can be problematic. And caution is advised, because it's not unheard of for a person in a relationship gone bad to be eaten by a scorned dragon. Of course there are risks in any of life's pursuits, but I would think being eaten is not something one would come to expect in a relationship gone bad, as it seems a little excessive."
I asked Dr. Morris what happens when people discover they are having problems in the relationship. "You mean, when people discover they're in over their heads? It depends upon the problem. You see, there are generally two primary issues in dracian-human relationships," he explained. "First, if the complaint is what I call the issue of 'time-territory', and if both wish to preserve their relationship, then it's probably the human who will need to step up to the plate and allocate more time with his or her dragon partner. Second, if the problem is sexual, then that's a big can of worms, isn't it? This is a common issue that presents itself when a male dragon is a sexual partner. When both partners love each other, but are unable to completely satisfy themselves sexually because of the human partner's limited physiology -- then communication, patience and commitment can help resolve many of the sexual issues. It can be problematic," he said. "I would think people would know this going in."
Dr. Morris also recommends carefully considering long term life issues before committing to a legal union with a dragon. "In a legal union, dragons do not typically separate in their culture, divorce is a man-made phenomena and separating from a marriage isn't a concept dragons readily understand. People need to realize that once you're in a dracian relationship, you need to think carefully about your life goals and whether or not you're going to be happy spending the rest of your life in a home with oversized accommodations with a large carnivore that consumes hundreds of pounds of meat a week and who sees people as property in a relationship. These are just some of the issues that people will typically face, and issues that people and dragons both need to discuss before making that final commitment." I asked Dr. Morris what a person should look for in a dracian-human relationship to help decide if marriage is something a person should seriously consider. "I would advise both partners who are thinking about committing to a legal union to spend at least a year or two dating and getting to know each other before making that decision. Dragons are wonderful and incredibly unique beings with whom we are fortunate to share the planet -- but there are innate differences between our species that we need to consider."
After interviewing a number of dragon and human couples over the course of my career, I believe that love, passion and strong communication often underscores successful long term relationships, and I would strongly encourage anyone considering such a commitment to think openly about each others desires, embrace the differences and celebrate the uniqueness as you grow old together.
I look forward to a time when we can accept dragons and humans living together in life partnerships. The differences between our species have historically been fertile ground for issues of prejudice, speciesism and intolerance. The strength of the union between our societies will likewise be forged by a partnership of mutual understanding and respect.
A warm thanks to Kodisoa and Rob for increasing the quality of this article.
Any feedback would be appreciated.