Silas
Silas
By Furio
For B., G., and all who love bears, human or not.
12/24/05 Revised every now and then. :)
DISCLAIMER: This story contains sexual and sensual acts between two adult males, one of which is a talking, consenting male adult bear (formerly human), and a consenting adult male human.
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The fridge was so bare, Ryan could hardly find anything palatable for a picnic lunch. He began having second thoughts and maybe it was better to just skip the day out, but he knew that Steve loved the outdoors, and he would love the lunch he would make, even if it was meager. Ryan found some celery in the crisper drawer and was about to wash it when the phone rang.
Caller ID dictated that it was Steve. "Hey guy, what's up?" asked Ryan.
"Not much," said Steve in a flat tone.
"You alright?" asked Ryan. "Still looking forward to the picnic?"
Steve was silent on the other end, but apparently still available, since Ryan could hear the slow breathing. "Steve, what's up?"
"You remember last night?"
A violent film, a debate on humanity, and some strong words. Yes, of course he did. "Yeah, what about it?"
"Do you still think that way?"
Ryan sighed, "I don't know. What difference does it make?"
"It makes a lot of difference if it's who you are."
Ryan was quiet this time. The murder movie they saw had sparked uncomfortable feelings in Ryan that were released in what would call pop psychobabble, in the most uncaring fashion (as Steve had mastered). "I just don't like seeing human beings treat each other in inhumane ways."
"Ryan, you've got to get it into your head that we all make mistakes. We're human, and if you want to be something better, then you've got a bone to pick with God."
"I'm not saying I want to be perfect," said Ryan, knowing that was true enough. "I'm saying that I think maybe we ought to be better. I'm perfectly comfortable being human."
That part was less true.
"I seriously doubt it, Ryan." Steve's tone was so flat and definitive, it was unnerving. It seemed to be suggesting something else, but Ryan would not assume that until it actually was voiced out.
Silence deafened the phone for a good minute or two. Ryan never liked to argue truth, unless he had his own truths to counter. And he was already losing this debate. "So...," he began.
"Ryan, it's taken me twenty years to find out who I am and accept who I am, human being, gay, fat, whatever. If you can't do the same by now-"
"Yes?" said Ryan. He never knew one could say one syllable words in a very shaky tone.
Steve continued, "Then maybe we should just hold off on things."
Ryan was quiet again for a minute, then desired honesty. "Are we doing the picnic today or not?"
"No, thank you."
Ryan nodded and said, "Ok."
Another minute passed and Ryan heard Steve mumble, "Goodbye," before hanging up.
Ryan hung up the phone quietly and sat down. He didn't feel completely sad, but enough to let one tear trickle down his cheek.
The day was so beautiful, it was hard to imagine staying inside and moping. And since Ryan had been looking forward to eating out in nature for once, he decided to go it alone. He packed some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (and a few salmon sandwiches he managed to scrounge up), some water, and celery stalks, put on some hiking clothing, and went out to his car for the long drive.
One of the national parks (which was so well preserved that there dare not be a McDonald's around the area for about 20 miles) had some really nice forested and spread-out areas. He would see about eating there, if the wind wasn't too strong. It seemed calm today, though a bit chilly. Ryan wondered if he should have made hot food instead of cold food. He sighed and regretted his mistake, like all his others.
I wish I was a better person, he thought. Talking with Steve made him realize all his faults again, and he wondered what good qualities he did have.
He didn't like feeling this way. It reminded him of what his sister possibly went through before she shot herself in the head. She, too, had been a very self-deprecating person, though very good at heart. He couldn't understand why people like his parents saw her as just another "trouble-making liberal." Maybe suicides were cowards (Steve's words), but at the same time, if what they were afraid of was anything like what Ryan was afraid of, he couldn't entirely blame them for their thoughts and feelings. He felt another tear trickle down his face, but he shook it off and concentrated on driving. You were a beautiful, good woman, Miranda, he thought.
Ryan finally approached the park site and drove in to the main gate. He recognized the ranger from the few times he had come here in the past few years, and paid the entry fee.
"Mornin' Ryan," the ranger said warmly. "Doing good today?"
"Yeah, thanks, sir," said Ryan. "Are there a lot of people here today?
"Nope," said the ranger. "Seems most people wanna stay in with the computers and TVs rather than come to places like this."
"It's tragic," said Ryan good-naturedly. "But I'm glad I'm here."
The ranger smiled and nodded. "Be careful in these parts. Bears around here. Stick to the local area, alright?"
"I will," said Ryan appreciatively. He drove to the empty main parking area, parked, and got out his large picnic basket. He thought it a wonderful gift from his mother, but found it sad that it got only enjoyed by himself.
Ryan hiked up the trail with the basket but soon found himself captivated by the peaceful nature of the place. He was in the middle of the woods, with tall trees standing like mighty pillars everywhere he looked. However, this made it rather crowded to have a picnic.
In the distance, Ryan could see the trees open up into what looked like a nice broad meadow. He walked up there to find what looked so amazingly natural, it was hard to believe it was real. Ryan smiled and set the picnic basket down and unpacked it. He rolled out the blanket, sat on it, and sighed a bit, thinking to himself.
Ryan still felt pretty lonely. Although he had a few good friends, none of them seemed interested in really "talking" with him about serious things. The discussion he had with Steve last night was rather heated, but only thanks to negative imagery and what could be considered the worst of human nature. Was it only the best qualities that were restricted to those famous people who made papers, or died in wars, or stuck to the clergy like odorous glue? Where did he fit in?
Ryan took out a sandwich, unwrapped it, and was about to dig in when something he saw in a distance caught his eye.
He sat very still, not daring to breathe.
About sixty feet from him was a bear.
The bear was on all fours, it seemed, and was looking at Ryan intently. Ryan had never seen a bear so close before. He had thought them wonderfully beautiful and even cute creatures to see in documentaries and calendars, but seeing one in real-life made them more...real. And very intimidating.
Ryan was so afraid that if he looked away from the bear or if he moved, that it would charge him and tear him to pieces, so he sat perfectly still. The bear continued to look at Ryan.
Ryan continued to look at the bear, who seemed to be growing. The truth was actually scarier. It was slowly approaching him. Ryan was actually a little grateful that it was not charging him, but he still felt scared of what it would do if it actually came close.
He saw that the bear was a very dark brown and probably very big indeed, maybe about 600 pounds or more. He had no idea how big bears usually got at the adult size, although he knew that they had loads of fat on them to keep them warm through the winter months. He also found it cute that a lot of fat made the bears attractive to each other, and good examples of prime mates. Being attracted to fat himself, he could identify with bears' laws of attraction.
The bear was now about 30 feet from Ryan. Ryan found himself shaking, and began worrying that the shaking would anger the bear or make it think that he was getting ready to kill it or something. No, he thought. I'm not going to move. I'll be very still and let it do whatever it wants...even...even if it wants to kill me.
Ryan wasn't suicidal, but he was defeatist.
The bear was about ten feet from Ryan. Ryan could now see the texture of its beautiful brown fur, its black beaded eyes, and even its huge paws, with sharp claws on the end. He wondered how sharp and big the bear's teeth were, and whether he would find out the hard way.
The bear approached more slowly now, and came close enough to where Ryan could hear the gentle padding noises of its paws on the ground. He could not believe that a bear was this close to him.
The bear continued to look at Ryan, with an unmoving gaze. Ryan could hear the bear growling deeply, though it was so rhythmic and slow, it must have just been the natural noises of the bear's breathing.
Ryan looked at the bear all over. He agreed with himself that the bear was an intensely beautiful creature.
"Hello," he heard himself whisper. He half-worried that the bear would start at any moment and do something horrid, but it didn't react. It blinked its eyes once and looked at Ryan.
Ryan suddenly realized that he was holding a salmon sandwich that was starting to get smooshed between his clenched fingers. Slowly, he moved his hand toward the bear, offering the sandwich. "Here," he whispered.
The bear looked alternatively at Ryan and the sandwich. It moved its large head down to the sandwich and sniffed it, then stuck out a long pink tongue and licked bits of it. Ryan smiled at the bear's curiosity. Not only was it beautiful, it was cute.
"Take it," said Ryan quietly. The bear approached a little closer to eat the sandwich.
BANG!
The bear suddenly roared at something to the east, and Ryan jumped to look in the same direction. He thought he saw movement, but couldn't tell what it was. The bear turned and bolted back towards the woods.
"Wait!" cried Ryan. The bear didn't stop, but ran off at an amazing speed to the forest, where he lost sight of it.
Ryan looked back towards the east and saw the movement come closer. He heard laughter and words:
"Damn, stupid guys can really run fast, can't they?"
"Quit crying. You'll get him soon. And if not him, another!"
Ryan was furious with rage. He walked over to the four men, who all were holding their precious guns like they were extensions of their dicks.
"Excuse me," he began.
"Happy we saved your life, eh?" said one of the hunters.
"No, I was in no danger." Ryan silently promised himself that he would be calm.
"No danger?" said an annoyingly smiling hunter. "A bear lunges to eat you, and you call yourself in no danger?"
"He wasn't going to eat me."
"And how do you know that?" said another.
Ryan shook his head and said, "It doesn't matter. You can't hunt animals here. This is private property of the park."
"No it ain't," said Smiler. "This part's off the trail. Public never goes here, and if they do, we protect them."
Ryan felt kind of stupid that he had set up picnic in the wrong area of the park, but that didn't seem important now. "And what about the animals?" asked Ryan.
"What about 'em?"
Ryan decided to break his promise. "You have no friggin' right to hunt animals like that! They're good creatures!"
Smiler's smile broadened and casually leaned on his huge shotgun. "Well, two of those big ones are gone already. Miss 'em?"
"YOU SON OF A ---" screamed Ryan and raised his fist to punch that smile upside down.
One of the men raised his gun and pointed it at Ryan's head. Smiler continued smiling, probably knowing that Ryan couldn't win this debate, either.
Ryan suddenly checked himself and lowered his hand. "No, I'm not going to be like you." He grew quiet and took a deep breath. "Just get the hell out of here before I tell your lame-ass story and its even lamer reasoning to the ranger."
The hunters looked at each other, laughed, and walked away. Ryan overheard them mumbling and saying things including, "bear lover," which implied more than just a love for bears.
Ryan took deep breaths, but it wasn't stopping his body from shaking. He had this feeling last night, and he was having it again. It wasn't going away. He turned around and saw the bear at the edge of the woods looking at him.
Ryan felt his body shake as the tears started pouring out, "I'm sorry," he whispered, turned away and stumbled his way back to the basket, packing it up and going back to the car.
The night was miserable. He had told the story to the ranger, who promised to do a thorough search for the hunters. Hopefully, true justice would be served, and in the most humane way possible. He had always thought that the best punishment for hunters would be to work at an animal shelter or something. Oh well, it wasn't his problem.
But still, somehow, he thought it was. He thought of the beautiful bear and the two other "big ones" the hunters had said they killed. What if they were bears, too? What if they were members of the bear's family? Ryan suddenly felt cold in his bed, and desiring to make up for it.
This also made Ryan think. Could he solve problems like this on his own? He already had a busy job and difficulty enough trying to make ends meet for himself.
He turned over, hugged his pillow tight and looked at the teddy bears on his dresser. He quickly got up and sacrificed the pillow for one of the bears, hugging it close to him as he always did in his youth.
Next weekend, he would go up again. He didn't know what for, but he wanted to.
The day of his return was not as nice as the one before. Clouds were gathering, and rain had become a gentle prickle of wetness that was rather cold. Ryan had packed a slicker for dryness and warmth. He drove into the main gate and conversed with the ranger briefly.
"You'll be glad to know we got those four hunters," said the ranger proudly. "They'll be doing some time."
"I'm glad," said Ryan. "I hope the animals are safe."
"They should be," said the ranger. "But please stick to the trail."
Ryan nodded, parked, and walked up the general area to where the meadow was. The wetness had matted down a lot of the grass and made everything look natural, though not pretty. He felt the gentle tapping of the rain all over his slicker, and concerned thoughts were in his head.
Where did animals go in the rain? Where did bears go, in particular? Maybe there was a cave nearby or something.
Ryan walked slowly to the place where he thought he had last seen the bear, after talking to the hunters. It was on a separate part of the woods, and he entered, wondering if he would see anyone or anything in these parts. The parking lot had been empty again, and Ryan secretly wondered if he wanted to be this lonely.
Suddenly, Ryan's heart lifted a bit. He saw something big and brown nearby. He walked towards it quickly, but then slowed his pace down drastically.
The thing was not moving. It was lying in the rain.
The rain was not as strong in the forest, since many of the trees shielded it, but Ryan could still feel the prickle against his slicker. He saw drops fall on the large form of fur on the ground.
"No," he whispered, feeling himself shiver from varying stimuli. He walked around the creature to see that it had been facing away from him and lying down, but in an uncomfortable position, like it had fallen.
And on the opposite side, near the belly, he saw the hole, and a bit of dried redness, the rest washed clean by the rain.
Ryan looked at the bear for a long time. His body went completely numb and he felt himself sink into the earth as he slowly knelt down in the mud next to the beautiful creature. He reached out a hand and slowly felt the fur on the bear's side, which was wet, but still a marvelous texture.
Ryan's shoulders shook. He looked at the bear and moved his gaze to its face, with its closed eyes, and its half-open muzzle.
He felt his face go the wrong way as when he was trying to hold back tears and try to be a man, like his father always said when they found dead deer or raccoons on the side of the road.
Screw that. He slowly placed his arms over the bear's large body, rested his head on the still warm and soft belly and burst completely into tears.
"Stupid, fucking humans," he mumbled through tears and chattering teeth, as his facial flush mixed with the natural coldness of both weather and bear. "Stupid me. Stupid everybody."
He continued to wail over the dead bear and felt the rain begin to let up for a bit, thank God. His sobs were intermittently intense and quiet, as he just felt wave after wave of sadness engulf him.
Finally Ryan's cries calmed down a bit, and he reveled in just lying in the position on the bear, wanting to stay with it in a tiny service of memoriam, if nothing else.
That's when he heard the padding behind him.
Oh shit, he thought. Oh no.
Ryan never liked hearing things without seeing their sources. His arms still on the bear, he slowly turned his neck to see the source.
It was another bear, large and big and dark brown, much like the one that he saw the other day. Ryan wondered if it was the same bear or if it was a different one...
No, the dead bear was more light colored. Ryan sensed that the living bear was the same bear he had encountered. He said a silent prayer of thanks that this bear was apparently unharmed.
But now was to time for giving thanks. The bear was looking at him, and Ryan was scared to the bottom of his soul. In this position, it would look like he killed the bear, and the living bear would see him as a threat. In a way, it kind of made sense, being that Ryan was, after all, a human.
The bear slowly padded to Ryan, and was about three feet from him. Ryan felt tears streak his face, out of mixtures of fear, sadness, and apprehension. He turned around, still on his knees, to face the bear in a more respectful position.
"I'm so fucking sorry," he said out loud, knowing full well that the bear would not understand. "I didn't kill him, I swear to God, I didn't."
The bear growled quietly and Ryan felt himself lose control again. He burst into tears and shut his eyes as all manners of pain wracked his body and mind. He bowed his head to the bear, and hoped that whatever it would do, it would do it quick.
Ryan could sense that the bear was getting even closer. He could feel its breath ripple the hood of his slicker. What would it do? Whatever it would be, Ryan knew he would deserve it. His entire body shook in anticipation and fear of the pain he would soon be feeling.
Ryan felt the slicker hood being pushed away, somehow. He still had his eyes closed and his head bowed, but it felt like the bear was gently lifting the hood up with its muzzle. He shivered at the coldness felt at the back of his head, mixed with the warm flush that accompanies a session of crying.
Then he felt an odd sensation on his face, like something was lifting it. He slowly opened his eyes to see that the bear was lifting Ryan's face up with its muzzle. He blinked blurry tears away as he saw that the bear was literally muzzle-to-mouth with his face. Ryan shook very slightly and looked into the bear's eyes.
The bear had black eyes that were obviously not human, but they had such depth to them, that they didn't even seem completely animal. Ryan soon found himself calming down, lost in the bear's soft, gentle eyes.
Slowly the bear slid out its long pink tongue and let it touch Ryan's teary face. It was wet, warm, and gentle. Ryan closed his eyes and the bear licked Ryan's eyes, too.
The bear was cleaning Ryan's face of his tears.
Ryan could not believe the aura of warmth and gentleness that the bear was emitting. Everything in his heart practically screamed "Hug the bear," but he still felt a bit apprehensive. Ryan sniffed gently and said, "Thank you." He looked back into the bear's eyes, which somehow seemed more human than before. They arched downwards in that manner that shows the human emotion of sadness. The bear's growls became short and intermittent, like it was hiccupping or something.
Ryan looked at the bear, confused at first, but then with wonder. He saw wetness form at the corners of the bear's eyes.
"Oh God," said Ryan quietly as the bear suddenly shut its eyes and started to howl. A howl that shook the rain off of the towering trees and made the sun shine out from the darkened clouds. Ryan had never heard a more painful cry in his life. He instinctively threw his arms around the bear's neck.
The bear reciprocated.
The bear did not hug Ryan to the point of where a bear's hug would actually be deadly, but in that human manner that showed love, concern, and caring. Ryan held the bear close as he felt wave after wave of sobs wrack the bear's body. He wondered if the two bears were related, or knew each other somehow. No matter what, they were brothers, he felt. Ryan felt so sorry for the bear, and continued to hug the large creature close, stroking his large furry back and saying, "It's okay...it's alright...," knowing that it was definitely not okay that a bear was dead right in front of them. He gave his share of tears, as well.
But as they continued to hug, Ryan felt confused. Was this how actual bears reacted? Was this bear something more than just a bear? After a few minutes of warm hugging, Ryan slowly let go and looked square into the bear's face, who had quieted down a bit.
"Can you understand me?" asked Ryan.
The bear looked at Ryan for some time and sniffed away a tear.
It nodded and said, "Yes."
Ryan looked at the beautiful bear one more time and promptly collapsed in the mud.
When Ryan woke up, things were blurry. A dream, he thought. A beautiful dream that doesn't happen. It never happens.
The blurriness, he realized, was probably the aftereffect of tears on his eyeballs. He wiped dried crusty stuff from them. Stupid me, he thought. Losing my head over an animal, when there's nothing I can do. He sighed and looked around.
There was darkness around him. Light filtered in above him making things aptly viewable. Apparently the sun was shining from somewhere, though he was in the interior of something. Ryan saw that he had a nice thick blanket draped over him, which is apparently what had kept him warm.
After a few minutes of deep breathing and getting his composure together, Ryan realized he was in a cave. It was large cave, cool, and obviously well-lighted. A good cave for a bear.
The bear! Ryan suddenly thought about the bear. Did it really talk? Did it really understand him? No, of course it didn't. That kind of thing only happens in Disney movies, and never in real life, no matter how much he wished it.
He had only a minute to think these things when he heard the gentle padding again. He looked towards the larger cave passage and saw a large shadow moving slowly inside. Sure enough, it was the bear.
Ryan didn't know how long he had been out, but apparently it was long enough for the bear to get his fur dried. He looked more beautiful and majestic than ever before. The bear had something in his mouth, and as he grew closer, Ryan saw it was a large bucket or pail of some kind, loaded with fish.
The bear came close to Ryan and set the bucket down. It looked at Ryan, then turned its head away a bit.
"I...uh..." started the bear. It was true. The bear may have been stuttering, but it definitely could speak. Ryan was utterly amazed.
"I hope you like fish," said the bear. Ryan could tell it was very nervous, and he had every intention of making the bear feel secure around a human.
"I do. Thank you, sir." The attribution sounded kind of weird, but it was respectful, nonetheless. "I don't know if I can gut them with my bare hands, though."
"I'll help you," said the bear, sitting down.
Together they gutted the fish and ate together quietly. Ryan had never had raw fish before, and the taste was kind of gross, but he had no intention of embarrassing his unique host.
The bear swallowed his mouthful and looked at Ryan. "I'm Silas."
Ryan looked back at the bear and extended his hand. "I'm Ryan."
The bear extended his paw and Ryan took it and shook it gently. He looked at the paw. "You have nice paws," he said, wondering why he said it.
The bear's muzzled lips curved upward a bit, and Ryan could tell it was smiling. "Thank you," it said.
The two were quiet for a long time. Then Ryan said, "I'm sorry about the other bear. I really am. I swear I-"
"It's okay," interrupted the bear. "I know you didn't do it. No human would purposefully kill an animal and then cry over it. It doesn't make sense."
Ryan turned away. "Neither does killing an animal." He looked down at the gutted fish in his hands and started to shake. "Oh god," he muttered.
"No, don't," said the bear gently. "We eat the fish for survival. The fish give their lives to us, and we are thankful for their existence and sustenance. If we respect the creature, we do not actually harm it." Here the bear turned away. "When I say that, it sounds confusing, doesn't it?"
Ryan smiled and chuckled. "You are such a coherent bear. I can't believe that you can actually talk!"
The bear looked back at Ryan. "Thank you. You are..." it stopped.
"What?" said Ryan.
"Nothing," said the bear.
They were both quiet again for a while. The birds chirped outside, happy that the darkness of rain had passed for the time being.
"Did you know him?" asked Ryan quietly.
"Her," said the bear. "She was my sister."
"Oh no..." said Ryan, feeling himself shake again.
"Stop it," said the bear firmly and with a growl. "We've done enough crying for her. She wouldn't want this."
Ryan took a deep breath. "Yes, I'm sorry. I understand." He paused. "I...I really do understand."
The bear looked at the human with wonder. "Ryan?"
"My sister...she's dead, too."
The bear sighed deeply.
"She...took her own life. It was horrible and just as unexpected."
"I'm sorry," said the bear, "'took her own life'?"
"Um, it means she killed herself."
The bear's eyes widened. "What?"
Ryan looked at the bear. "What is it?"
"Why would a human kill himself?"
Ryan sighed and looked at the bucket of fish. "There are lots of reasons why they do. As for my sister, I guess I really don't know. She never let on the things she was fighting in her head. For all I know," said Ryan, "she could have just hated who she was."
The bear seemed dumbstruck. "I've never heard of such a thing, even back when...back long ago. You're the first sensitive human I've ever seen since.... I mean, in quite a long time. Are there others?"
"Yes," said Ryan. "Lots of them." Suddenly a thought occurred to Ryan that never had occurred to him before. "I've never really thought of that."
The bear was quiet and looked at Ryan intently. Ryan looked back at the bear and the two didn't say anything for a while.
"Um, should I go?" asked Ryan, not knowing what else to say.
The bear was quiet for a while and then said, "If you want. I'll show you the way back."
The bear slowly began to get on all fours again and turned away to lead the way.
In that moment, Ryan felt a deep twinge in his soul. This was a pivotal moment in his life. He was about to leave a talking, friendly, lonely, beautiful bear, probably to never see him again. How could he leave at a time like this?
"I don't want to go," said Ryan.
The bear turned his neck back to look at Ryan.
"Can I stay with you for a bit, Silas?"
The bear looked at Ryan long and said, "Yes, I think I would like some company tonight. Are you allowed?"
"Yes," said Ryan. "Camping is allowed at the park, and my car will be okay."
"Why do you want to stay?" asked Silas.
Ryan looked at the bear. "I don't know," he said. "I just want to."
The bear nodded. "Do you want to come with me for a bit first? The forest is beautiful at sundown."
"I'd love that," said Ryan. He got up and followed the bear out of the cave.
They walked for a while into the forest slowly, chatting idly about the natural wonders of the forest.
The bear's big body came up to Ryan's midsection, so every now and then Ryan put his hand on the bear's fur, which was wonderfully thick. But he let go, too, because he didn't know if the bear would be comfortable with that action.
Soon the bear led him to the edge of a plateau that looked out over the large forested area, and the landscape beyond, which was dotted with more civilized roads, towns and gas stations and restaurants further beyond. They looked out at the scenery and sat down together near the edge of the plateau.
The sky had faded into a deep orange and pink where the sun had finally swept the clouds away and rested into a comfortable position on the horizon's hills. Everything seemed to share a shade of orange or green that was so wonderfully natural. Ryan looked out over it all and felt at peace.
"Can all the bears and animals talk?" asked Ryan.
Silas was quiet for some time and finally said, "No, I think I'm the only one."
Ryan was confused. "But why?"
After a few seconds, Silas took a deep breath and said, "I wasn't always a bear."
Ryan was interested and waited patiently to see if Silas would say more. "Please, go on." And with a heavy sigh, he did.
My sister and I had lived a good life together back a while ago. Our parents had died rather young, so we only had each other to survive off of, emotionally and tangibly. We lived in a small cabin not too far from this park, and had enough, until we started to run out of food and money.
My sister was rather an impulsive person and thought that I should go hunting. I never really liked the idea, but she was the one who suggested that we already eat animals when we eat store-bought meat, so I thought that made sense. I brought my gun out and hiked into the forest looking for good quality meat, and hopefully something that was already dead or dying, so I didn't have to kill it heartlessly.
It was luck or misfortune (I can't tell which) that led me to a big black bear. It was moving slow and never saw me.
Sorry, but I don't really like to think about what I did then. I still hate myself for it.
It was difficult enough to cart the poor creature back home, let alone look at it, even if it was for sustenance. I sensed there was something really special about it, but then again, I had never killed anything before, so I may have been just feeling remorse. I still don't really know.
I brought the bear home and saved my sister the mercy of having to witness more disgusting actions by skinning the bear and choosing the best meat from it, to my knowledge. It was an arduous task, but then again, we WERE very hungry, so I knew it to be necessary. Perhaps I was wild with hunger.
My sister and I feasted that night on the bear, though it had taken us both a long time to eat. I remember that neither of us spoke a word. I deeply regret that most of all, since we would not converse with each other like that for a long time.
Late that night, after going to bed, I felt severe stomach pains, and assumed it to have been undercooking the bear meat or something. I tried to ignore them, but they got stronger and stronger. I managed to stumble outside in my undergarments, feeling like I was going to throw up.
But I never did throw up, I collapsed on the grass, feeling my whole body become full and bloated, like the bear was growing inside me. My stomach hurt and twisted as my heart raced. It beat faster and faster, and I thought I was dying. I cried and felt burning hot as my clothing started to itch and get really tight on me. I watched my shirt rip from my chest and my lower garments start to split as I realized with horror that I was growing.
I was getting unbelievably huge. I felt my whole body itch and saw that I was getting hairier and hairier. My feet and hands hurt so much as they squeezed and shrank my fingers into stubby paws. My long legs shrank as well, but my belly became so big and bloated, it hurt. It really hurt.
I cried out in pain and realized that my voice was going...I was growling and roaring, and it hurt. My face stretched and felt like it was ripping open as my nose and jaw protruded and grew bigger. I felt myself just grow even larger, until finally, it was all over.
I panted heavily and looked up to find that the world looked different. I could see and sense so many new things around me, especially from the forest. I looked down at my new paws and knew what happened. I had become a bear. I was a big fat, ugly bear. But I knew it. Eating the bear, as I read long ago in lore, must have given me the abilities, nature, and form of the creature. But the worst punishment had stayed in my new form: my human mind and memory.
I didn't want to go back to my sister like this, but I didn't want to go to the forest without seeing her again. I ran back to the house and was surprised at how fast I could run on all fours. Certain things did feel amazing, like feeling the wind in my fur and a new sense of energy and power in me, but all that was on my mind was my sister and the thought of never being able to be close to her again.
When came to the door of the cabin, I heard a noise that struck me deeply: howling, but a very painful howling. It wasn't human, and I was suddenly worried that some animal was attacking my sister. I walked slowly to the door, which was struggling to open itself. After some amount of fumbling with my clumsy paws, I managed to open the door and a sight set my eyes to tears.
A large bear was inside the main room of the cabin, among a tattered nightgown: my sister's. The bear was howling and crying with pain and misery, and I knew it was my sister. My actions had punished both of us, and I hated myself more than anything else. Upon seeing me, my sister looked scared, but I growled gently and backed off, not knowing how to prove I was her brother.
But somehow, she seemed to know, and she approached me quietly and slowly. She managed to squeeze herself out of the door and nuzzled me gently. We both cried and howled in self-deprecation for a while before we finally walked off to the woods together. If we were caught out here in a cabin with ripped clothing around, the civilized people would have treated us just as we treated that poor black bear.
From then on, we've lived in the woods ever since. The curse must have made us immortal or something, because we've never seemed to age. However, what happened last week or so seemed to prove that though we can't age, we can sure as hell die.
Ryan and Silas remained quiet for a long time afterwards. Ryan was amazed and moved by Silas' story, especially now that he knew what Silas really was.
Silas started up again, "We only learned how to speak again after years and years of practice and forcing our mouths to form words again. But we vowed to be quiet as much as possible, too. When I said, 'Yes' to you, it was the first in probably 10 years or so. I've lost so much track of time." He sighed.
Ryan looked at Silas and asked, "How old are you, do you think?"
"What year is it?" asked Silas.
"2005."
Silas looked back towards the horizon, which had changed so much in what seemed a short space of time.
"I'm probably about 150 years old. And I still feel like I'm 25."
Ryan nodded and looked at Silas' profile next to the sky, with its amazing outline. "Do you know anybody else?"
Silas shook his head and was silent. It was clear that he was trying to deny how bad it felt to be alone.
Ryan sidled a bit closer to Silas.
"You do now."
Silas turned to look at Ryan. His large majestic ursine face focused intently on the man sitting next to him. Inside, something stirred.
Silas was quiet for a while but then he started. "Oh.." he said.
"What is it?"
"My heart...it's beating."
Ryan smirked and said, "Um, so?"
Silas chuckled, "No, it's not abnormal or anything. It's just that, as a bear, I have a much larger heart, but even so, I'm never aware of it beating or anything, and I just felt it beat now."
Silas looked at Ryan, who in turn, looked back at him. The two gazed into each other's eyes for a while before Silas's paw found Ryan's hand and held it gently.
"Silas," said Ryan quietly, "On behalf of...well, the world, I want to apologize to you. So many humans have hurt so many animals, and humans have even hurt each other. And even though I know you were once a human yourself, I can't help but feel bad for all we've done to you and to each other." He lowered his head a bit, remembering the unkind images he saw in that movie with Steve.
He felt Silas' paw gently stroke his palm. "It's alright, Ryan. Please don't think ill of yourself. I can see that you are a very special and loving human, and there's nothing to be ashamed of. Many bad things happen in this crazy world, but you always must remember that many good things happen, too. There are always those creatures who firmly believe in love, warmth, tenderness, and friendship. They have open hearts, and open minds. Their souls only desire to love and be loved, and they are good. Ryan, please believe me." He slowly put his furry arm around Ryan's shoulders, and looked squarely into his eyes.
"They do exist. That's the code of the animals, the code that I have learned and believe in. I see that you yourself also believe in it."
Ryan licked his lips nervously and looked into those beautiful black pools of depth. "Silas...are you-"
"Let's go back to the cave," said Silas quickly, and got up to walk back, with Ryan following.
"You can sleep under the skylight, if you'd like, and you can take the blanket. It's hot enough under all this fur."
Ryan laughed. "Thank you for letting me share your cave. This is truly a wonderful and rare experience."
"You're very welcome, Ryan," said the bear gently, and gave a huge yawn that showed how big its jaw really was, with rows of sharp teeth. "Sorry, but I'm very sleepy. Night night." The big bear rolled over and almost instantly zonked out, growling quietly as it went to sleep.
Ryan snuggled under the blanket on the cold stone floor, but found it still comfortable enough that he was allowed to do such a thing, and with a bear. Even if he wasn't a natural bear, the curse had apparently given him the natural instincts and physical characteristics, laced with perfect human qualities. He rolled over and tried to go to sleep, unsuccessfully.
After about an hour of thinking and rolling over, Ryan got up and turned around to look at Silas. He thought about all the years of having only one person in life to stick to, now totally gone forever, for however many years Silas would have until some damn human either tore down the park, or shot him, or whatever. He felt so much concern and sorrow for Silas, who seemed to take these pains with incredible strength and the greatest of dignity. He wished he was as brave.
Ryan continued to look at Silas. He sure was beautiful.
He slowly and quietly got on his hands and knees and crawled over to where Silas was sleeping. The great bear was huddled on his belly with his huge head resting on one paw. He looked adorable, and beautiful, and every other positive adjective Ryan could think of.
Ryan laid down next to Silas and reached out one hand to stroke the fur on Silas' forehead. It was so soft and warm, and absolutely a joy to touch. Ryan let his fingers wander down to the thick layer of fur around Silas' neck, then down his engorged belly. He spread his fingers wide over the bear's stomach, so he could feel the outermost layer of fat. He wondered how many layers the bear had on him.
Ryan continued to explore Silas, moving his hand down the big furry legs and down to the hind paws. Ryan looked at those paws for a long time and smiled. He thought that the large stubby form, with great soft pads on the bottom, was very cute.
He stopped as he suddenly realized that he was actually physically attracted to the bear. His hands shook as fear gripped him. This is wrong, he thought. He had just drawn his hand back when Silas suddenly opened his eyes.
The bear did not move, but moved its focus to Ryan. The two did not say anything for some time. But Silas surprised Ryan completely by saying the unexpected.
"Why did you stop, Ryan? That felt really good..."
Ryan blushed and decided to respond with unabashed honesty. He took a deep breath. "Silas," he said, "I think you are the most beautiful, wonderful creature I have ever known."
Silas did not move or respond, but looked long at Ryan in his same position. Slowly, he lifted his huge body off the ground and got on all fours. He padded real close to Ryan, who was still lying down completely.
The bear reached down his head and gently, lovingly nuzzled Ryan's ear with his muzzle. The cold wet tip of the nose sent shivers through Ryan's spine, but it was clear that he was thoroughly enjoying it. Ryan chuckled and giggled with the sensation.
He heard Silas chuckle as well, in intermittent growls and murrs. Ryan turned over on his back and looked up into the bear's face. He stroked the beautiful muzzle and ran his fingers through the thick fur all around his neck. The great beast looked down at the human and felt things in his heart that had laid dormant all his life. They were slowly being born deep inside and growing.
"Ryan," said Silas quietly, "Would you please hold me?" He laid down on his side, close to Ryan's side, facing him.
"Really?" said Ryan. This was something that he had often dreamed about in his youth, ever since he was given his first teddy bear. "Are you sure?"
"Yes," said Silas quietly. "I need some warmth. Please...just hold me and be close to me."
Ryan obeyed and slowly wrapped his arms and legs around Silas. The big furry body felt like heaven in Ryan's arms. He scratched the fur gently and stroked the furry ears, letting his hand wander through the forest of hair, down the bear's broad back.
"Silas," whispered Ryan. "Do you like me?"
The bear growled quietly but did not respond. He felt huge paws explore his own back, even if it was through his shirt. Finally he whispered, "Yes, Ryan, I do. I sensed some kind of unique warmth in you when I first saw you in the meadow. And in so little time, you have grown to mean so much to me. You are indeed special among humans."
Ryan sighed with pleasure and content at hearing such words. His heart lifted and beat strongly against the bear's extraordinarily large and warm heart.
The two held each other for a few more minutes, and the bear started again. "Ryan.... I mean it. I...I care about you deeply. You...you are so special...." He squeezed Ryan a little closer to his huge body.
"Silas," said Ryan, feeling a few tears push against his eyes. "Please ..... please don't leave me."
Ryan could feel the bear shiver with a few tears as well. "I won't, Ryan....your bear's right here....he won't let you go...he won't go away."
Ryan sighed happily and reveled in the warmth that came from their bellies rubbing together gently.
"Ryan," whispered Silas. "Please...don't leave me, either."
Although Ryan was overjoyed to hear such words from a big bear, he was also confused. "Are you sure you need me so much?" he heard himself ask. "You're a big strong bear, and I'm..."
"Someone I need," continued Silas, holding him a little closer. "Ryan...I..I've been so lonely for far too long. Even with my sister, I felt the need for warmth and companionship, something I couldn't even find among my fellow animals here, peaceful as they were. You.... I mean, I..." The bear started hiccupping again, and Ryan could see the beautiful diamond-like tears shining at the corners of Silas's eyes.
He stroked the bear's muzzle gently, whispering, "Silas, you're not alone at all. You have someone now who cares for you so deeply. Please don't cry, beautiful bear."
But even Ryan couldn't hold back the tears, even if they were ones of joy at discovering such an intensely beautiful and loving creature, when so many in his life seemed like the opposite. He thought he would melt from the pleasure he was feeling.
He also felt something else rub against his body, and it was further down. And it was growing. Ryan's heart stood still. "Um, Silas...is that-"
"I'm sorry," said Silas, suddenly letting go. "I didn't mean...I'm sorry." The bear suddenly seemed upset.
"No, Silas, it's okay!"
"It's sick," said Silas. "A bear and a human. That's bestiality! It's wrong and it goes against nature, more than homo-I mean, that thing does."
Ryan looked at Silas and thought for a minute. Then he said, "Not if it's consenting. Bestiality is wrong because the poor animal doesn't have a choice. It's no different from rape. And as to 'that thing,'" Ryan continued, "I've grown to believe that that's a natural thing in itself."
Both human and bear were quiet for a while. Ryan sighed. "But I see your point. I didn't mean to hurt you. I guess I just meant that I don't hate you at all for what happened, and...I think I liked it." He suddenly got very red in the face. He was having difficult believing that he was saying all this, let alone that it was happening.
Ryan continued, "Silas, I guess what I'm saying is that....well....damn, this is so weird..." He sighed and tried again. "If we didn't hurt each other, I wouldn't mind being....closer to you. I mean, I know I'm a human, and you're a bear, but at the same time....I....I do kind of...you know....desire you." His mind was whirling with so many confusing desires, but he figured that was the most honest way to say what he was feeling.
Silas sat turned away from Ryan and slowly turned his head back a bit. He smirked. "So you wanna tussle with a big fat bear, then, do ya? You're a real pervert."
Thanks to Silas' positive tone of voice, Ryan read this as a friendly teasing remark and he smiled. "I'm sorry, Silas. I know I'm a sicko."
The bear got up and turned around to face Ryan. He slowly padded towards him. "Yeah, so what, you wanna make something out of it?" He licked his chops slowly and in what even seemed like a seductive manner.
Ryan giggled, "I dunno. What do you have in mind?"
Silas grinned, baring his sharp teeth. "You wanna see how strong a big mighty bear really is?"
The bear was challenging Ryan. "Alright then," Ryan said. "C'mon!" He got up and faced the bear, who was smiling and crouching a bit, as if ready to pounce or lunge. It suddenly got up on its hind legs to match Ryan's height. The bear started to playfully swipe at Ryan, who ducked and avoided with ease. He wasn't actually trying to attack Ryan. Rather, it felt more like one of those playful fights between siblings or relatives as they get older.
The bear continued to swipe at Ryan, and it lunged, with Ryan trying to push him back. He took the big paws against his and attempted to push against Silas. The huge bear growled and rumbled within his mighty belly as Ryan reciprocated with a growl of his own. For a moment, Ryan surprised himself with how ursine his own growl sounded.
The growls grew louder alternately until Silas smiled broadly across his muzzle. Ryan's eyes widened and suddenly, Silas blasted out a huge ROAR into Ryan's face. "RRRROOOOARRRRWWWWWRRRRRRR!!!!!"
Ryan felt a huge hot windy breath fly against him as his arms gave in. The bear fully pushed Ryan down to the floor, laughing with happy whuffles. "I got you!! I GOT YOU!!!" he roared, his eyes wild with primal energy.
Ryan giggled happily. He thought Silas so adorable (and even sexy) with his bearish attitude! He heard himself growl again as he suddenly gathered his strength and managed to actually roll the huge bear so that he was on top this time.
"Why you...." started Silas, grinning wildly, displaying huge sharp teeth. He easily pushed Ryan off of him, and, with another mighty ROAR, Silas pounced on Ryan, his big belly momentarily taking the wind out of Ryan's lungs. Ryan pushed Silas back and started wrestling with him on the ground. The two soon became a mess of fur, laughter, and hugs, and soon they forgot about the challenge and were in each other's arms again, laughing and hugging, while rolling around in utter content.
"Damn, I haven't had this much fun in....in a long time!" said Silas, giving Ryan a long lick with his pink tongue.
"Hehee," said Ryan, responding to the ticklish lick, "me neither! You are absolutely wonderful!"
"So are you, Ryan!" The bear hugged him close and whuffled quite contentedly as Ryan's roaming hands casually stroked an area on Silas' right side.
"Oh no....don't do that..." said Silas, suddenly pushing Ryan's hand away.
"Why not?" asked Ryan.
"Just don't, believe me," said Silas. His face suddenly seemed to take on an expression of plea, with a smile.
Ryan looked at Silas, and then alternately at the furry spot on his side that he had touched. He looked back at Silas' face and slowly smiled broadly.
"Oh no...please....Ryan, don't..." said Silas, his eyes suddenly becoming cute and pleaful. However, he made no attempts to stop Ryan from what was going to happen, either.
Grinning broadly, Ryan took one hand and slowly let his fingers scratch that special spot on Silas's body. The bear whuffled a little bit and said, "Oh no...no...." Ryan did it again, and the bear whuffled more. He then tried to cover the area with his paw, but it was too late. Ryan suddenly took both hands and started vigorously stroking Silas' side.
The bear suddenly whuffled loudly and his whole huge body shook with waves of laughter, which Ryan reveled in hearing. "That does it!" said Silas between whuffles. He took Ryan's shirt and ripped it off completely, and started letting his claws dance all across Ryan's bare chest and belly.
The feeling of gentle sharpness and fur against his skin was too much. Ryan suddenly felt laughter fill his gut completely, and he fell to Silas' side, laughing so hard, it hurt. The bear continued to let his paws roam all over Ryan's chest, saying, "That's what you get for trying to tickle a huge sensitive bear!!!"
Suddenly, Ryan instinctively threw his arms around Silas and pressed his lips against his large muzzle.
Time stopped.
After an indefinite amount of time, they let go of the kiss and looked at each other long. Ryan could see the utter surprise in Silas' eyes, even though it was clear that they already felt a deep connection to each other. "Ryan..." said Silas, "Did you just...just..."
"I...um..." started Ryan, but Silas thankfully interrupted.
"No one's ever kissed me before."
Ryan was shocked. In his whole life, this poor creature had never known the joy
of a kiss? Not even from his sister? He felt another sense of pity for Silas fill his heart.
Suddenly, Ryan felt a stirring below, and he looked down. He saw that his jeans
were starting to tent a bit.
With apprehension, the bear looked in Ryan's eyes. "Do you want to...um..."
"W-well," stammered Ryan. "y-yes...I think I do. That is, um...if you're okay with it."
The bear stroked Ryan's face gently with the pads of his forepaws. "You understand that you'd be my first...ever?"
Ryan took in a deep breath. "Yes, I do....and...I hope to God that it would be good." He wasn't sure why he said it. He just said it.
The bear moved his paws down to Ryan's bare chest. This time, the sensation wasn't ticklish...it was erotic. Silas leaned his head down and gently let his long tongue slide over different parts of Ryan's chest, whereupon Ryan moaned and sighed in utter delight. He unbuckled his pants and kicked off his shoes, leaving himself only in his socks and underwear.
Silas looked at Ryan's body all over. He slowly ran his paw over Ryan's aptly-hairy legs.
"I've never felt this way about anyone," whispered Silas. Ryan was stunned as to how that sounded exactly like Beast's line from the Disney movie, tone and all.
Ryan slowly stroked Silas' belly and ran his hands over the fur. "I can't believe I'm doing this....This is like I'm in a dream or something."
"This isn't a dream, Ryan...I'm real. I'm very real."
Silas' paws slowly caressed Ryan's large, warm belly.
"But...are...are YOU for real?" Silas asked with wonderment.
Ryan smiled at being asked such a question. "Yes, I am Silas. I promise you."
Ryan and Silas looked back into each other's eyes. Without moving from that gaze, Ryan quietly slipped off his boxers. The bear moved his gaze to Ryan's penis. "Beautiful," he whispered.
"Thank you," said Ryan. He looked at Silas' crotch and for the first time noticed a penis poking out from between his legs. "So is yours." He looked again and was amazed to see how smooth Silas' penis was as it had grown from its sheath and underneath all that fur. "I've never seen anything like that before," said Ryan.
"Do you like it?"
"It's beautiful, Silas. It's your penis...and therefore, beautiful."
Ryan reached out with curiosity and slowly let his hand touch the smooth penis. It was larger and shaped differently than Ryan's...it didn't mushroom out at the top, but seemed to curve into a gentle rounded point. Ryan suddenly stopped and shook a bit. "What's wrong?" asked Silas.
Ryan's body quivered as he felt his face go the wrong way again. "Silas...I'm...I'm scared.," he said through wet eyes.
"Ryan," said the bear gently, "It's okay....you're not hurting me, I swear it. You have nothing to be afraid of." But even he felt a twinge of fear inside him at experiencing something so new and different.
Silas looked with affection at Ryan's conflicted expression. He lifted his paw to Ryan's face and placed it against his cheek lovingly. "Listen to me. We both want this, and therefore, it's not rape. You are fulfilling one of my heart's most secret desires..." He let his paws slide under Ryan's back, and pulled him close to his body, as they rolled over on their sides.
Their penises met, and the feeling was absolutely electric.
Ryan looked at Silas's noble bear-face and said with confidence, "You want it, I want it, and as long as we don't hurt each other, it's a good and beautiful thing."
"I agree," said Silas, and they held each other closer.
The sensation of fur on Ryan's body, the deep musk of Silas' own body, and the sight of a beautiful bear in his arms sent unbelievably arousing sensations through Ryan's abdomen and penis. He felt warmth settle all over him and deep connection to this beautiful creature whom he felt to be mating with him very gently.
"Don't you want to suck or put yourself inside me or something?" asked Silas nervously.
Ryan thought and shook his head. "I don't like that much."
Silas was surprised. "Wow, I thought all guys like you wanted that!"
"No, not me."
"Well, what do you like, if you don't like that?"
Ryan smiled. "This."
He slowly got on top of Silas and started moving his hips in a gentle subtle rhythm against Silas' penis. Silas took in a deep breath. "Ohhh...."
Ryan smiled. He couldn't believe he was doing this, but at the same time...
"Ryannnn," moaned Silas. He wrapped his arms and legs around the human close and opened his jaw into an open-mouthed grin, his pink tongue hanging out lazily.
Ryan laughed at the absolutely adorable expression and kissed Silas gently on the muzzle. "You are so incredibly special, and good."
"So are you, my friend... you are a good man."
Ryan suddenly stopped the rhythm. He looked at Silas.
"What's wrong?" asked Silas, suddenly concerned.
"What did you just say?"
"Um...I said....you are a good man. Your heart is good, and I feel that you are what most men should be like."
Ryan looked deep into the bear's brown eyes.
"Ryan, what is it?"
He felt amazing feelings flooding his heart, not just for the bear, but for once in his life, for himself. The bear looked back at him with concern, but relaxed when he saw Ryan smile and allow a tear to flicker on his eyelashes before falling on Silas' furry face.
"Ryan," the bear whispered. He held the human close to him. Ryan started up the rhythm again, and felt his body starting to react to the arousing feelings.
"Oh Silasss," Ryan hissed. "This is...this is so weird."
"Yeah...it feels so odd. It goes against nature..."
"But..ooohhh....it's so... incredible."
"Yeah, my body feels so good right now, next to yours."
"Oh man, your fur....I can't believe this is happening."
"Your skin's so smooth....I feel so protected with you.."
"I don't want to hurt you."
"You're not, angel."
"You are so beautiful..."
"You are so special."
"You have a good heart. You're good! You mean so much to me!"
"I need you in my life!"
"Silas!"
"Ryan!!"
The rhythm had increased more and more while they talked. Their penises had grown to their full extent. Sweat was all over their bodies. It made Silas' musk stronger, and it made Ryan gleam like he was made of gold.
"Ryan," moaned Silas, his huge head lolling back and forth in a trance of arousal, "I... I can't believe I'm ..*oooohh* enjoying this! I can't believe what you're .... *murrrrr* doing for me right now!"
Ryan's hands explored Silas' large, beautiful belly, and reveled in the huge breaths that rhythmically inflated and deflated it. He looked into the bear's eyes and felt a connection come into existence deep within him. His hips moved faster and faster as their penises made intimate contact, heralding something even deeper begin to blossom forth.
Silas continued to loll, more and more rapidly, "Oh Ryan.... My heart!!! My heart's beating!!!! Oh, heaven and earth!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ryan's head started to flood itself with hormones, emotion, and pleasure. He felt every corner of his body expand as his body prepared itself for the glorious orgasm about to be produced. He stared into Silas' large black eyes. "Oh God, Silas!!! Silas, my beautiful bear!!!"
"Ryan!!!!"
"Silas... I...I!!!!"
Ryan took his quivering hand up to the side of Silas' muzzle and held it there ever so gently.
"I LOVE YOU!"
The bear's eyes widened completely, and his jaw dropped. Never before had he heard that phrase, not in more than a hundred years. He instinctively wrapped himself around Ryan and squeezed him close. Both beings immediately pressed their mouths as best they could on each other's mouth and inserted their tongues.
The spark had come forth, and ignited their love. Finally, it exploded.
Ryan's hips bucked powerfully and gave birth to a billion seeds of life over the bear he loved and cared for. Silas's hips naturally bucked against Ryan's, too, squeezing their bodies even closer. He felt Silas' long tongue reciprocate as it explored Ryan's mouth wildly and even went pretty deep into his throat. But best of all was the smell.
Ryan could smell Silas. He smelled all manner of things. Honey, musk, grubs, foresty odors. He also felt like he was smelling Silas' passion, his loneliness, his excitement, and his natural self, more than anything else. His love for the bear increased tenfold, and as his hips pushed over and over on Silas' huge furry belly and groin, he screamed words of passion into Silas' throat.
Finally, he had completely spent himself. He let go of the kiss very slowly, breathing huge gasps of air.
"Oh my God," Ryan sighed, feeling the sweat drip off him all over the big bear. "That was absolutely incredible. That....that was the most enjoyable thing I have ever experienced." He smiled broadly as he gasped deep breaths. "Silas, thank you SO MUCH for letting me experience this...I...Hey, are you okay?"
Silas didn't respond. His eyes were wide open, and he was staring up at the ceiling. His muzzle was half open, and except for his pulsing hips, he was very still.
"Silas? Are you alright?" asked Ryan. He started to grow concerned, but then he felt something happening underneath.
More than a century of loneliness, even with his sister, where he had no one to talk to about what he truly wanted.
Unfulfilled desires, pains, dreams, memories.
The loneliness that brought forth forgetting the self...forgetting his own heartbeat, his own heart.
The thought of what it would be like to touch another man, to share the seed that you are only familiar with as your own.
The other thought, that that would never happen. Only a dream. Only a faded desire.
Now, no more.
This man. This new, amazing man, this human being, who seemed so upset with himself, who had thought himself to be unimportant, stupid, and uncaring, had just given him the most incredible gift in the universe.
This man who loved him.
Love. It was indeed possible. Love. Between two men. Real. Solid. And absolutely beautiful.
A stirring, below. A great secret, beginning to bloom, like the shell of an egg slowly opening to reveal the life within.
He was growing. He was coming into existence.
And in a few seconds, he would be born.
And everything would change.
Silas' hips were moving faster, and his paws were getting tighter around Ryan's bare back. Ryan looked deeper into Silas' face, which was seeming more bearish than before. The bear was growling more and more, and louder each time. He could feel the bear's large penis pushing against his, harder and harder, faster and faster. The bear was truly enjoying this, but something else was happening.
Ryan's concern grew. "Silas, what's wrong?" he asked. The bear didn't respond, but growled even stronger than before and pushed harder. He could feel the bear's heartbeat against his chest get stronger and faster than ever before. The beast bared his claws, and Ryan could feel them rake against his skin. But strangely enough, he wasn't concerned with the feeling, nor could he really feel the pain. Something else was happening.
"Silas? Silas!" The bear looked straight into Ryan's eyes and finally managed to whisper in his labored breaths:
"The beast.....the beast......"
Ryan looked at Silas with a bit of fear. He suddenly felt a desire to get out of Silas's grasp, but the bear had too firm a grasp on him. He began squeezing him where it began to hurt.
Unable to do much else, Ryan looked down at Silas' penis and was shocked to see that it had reached an extraordinarily large size, almost twelve inches. It was pulsing strongly, and Ryan knew that Silas was probably getting ready to ejaculate. His gaze went around to other parts of Silas's body, and he could see the fur rippling as the heartbeat grew faster and pounded within. Sweat was making the bear's scent fill the whole cave, and it even appeared to Ryan that Silas was actually growing larger beneath him, his huge belly almost supporting him fully.
He looked into Silas' eyes, and saw that the human side seemed to be departing. There was a fire in the eyes, a natural desire and primal instinct that echoed deep in Ryan's soul. The love he felt for Silas now became more basic. It became a desire, a want, a need. Ryan heard himself growl along with Silas, as his bear-lover continued to repeat, "the beast...the beast....the beast....." in short growls, each time losing a bit more of his "human" voice.
Ryan felt his body grow hot with Silas' thrusts. His skin itched and his heart raced as the bear suddenly bared his teeth, showing beautiful, sharp fangs that quivered with a huge continuous growl. Ryan felt a growing sensation in his own belly as Silas' heartbeat raced chaotically, the claws dug painfully into Ryan's back.
"SILAS!!!" Ryan screamed/roared, suddenly fearing for his life, as well as for Silas'.
Silas bared his fangs in a wide open smile, and his eyes seemed to radiate a yellow fire of animal hunger.
"THE BEAST IS BORRRRNNN!!!!" he roared, blasting Ryan's face with a hot wind of primal love.
With a huge roar, the bear squeezed Ryan into his arms, lunged at his neck, and sunk his teeth deep into Ryan's skin, as Ryan felt, at the same time, massive eruptions of the bear's seed flow out of his penis. Semen seemed to overflow the whole cave as the bear continued to ejaculate immeasurably large quantities of his essence, the product of his huge, beautiful body.
The creamy liquid of life that had originated in the bear's testicles spewed forth in mighty torrents between both beings' bellies. The sperm of two entirely different, but connected, species intermingled and fused together. Chemical reactions exploded into being, molecules and cells united and split, and atoms of the most basic building blocks of life burst into millions of copies of themselves as the fruits of two creatures' perfect love, after millions of years, finally became one.
Bear and man had become one.
The pain, emotion, and reaction of everything that was going on sent Ryan into unconsciousness. He collapsed onto Silas' gigantic body.
Fur....claws....love....power....pain....touch....
"...mpphhgghhhmm..." moaned Ryan, he woke up to more blurriness. But as far as he knew, he was still in the cave.
"Dark...no light...need light..." whispered Ryan. He looked around, and gradually things came into focus again. Things looked slightly different. He was in the same place, but things just looked different. He couldn't place what it was that made it seem that way, though.
The pain on Ryan's neck was still there, though not incredibly bad. Had it healed over the night, or was he out for more than a night? He couldn't believe what had happened that one night, and was not sure if it was for better or for worse.
Soon Ryan was able to discern noises, and heard a gentle sound which finally sounded to be whimpering. He looked across the cave and saw Silas sitting away from him, his head bowed. It didn't take long for Ryan to realize that the bear was crying.
"Silas," whispered Ryan. The bear sniffled and continued to cry.
Ryan padded slowly up to his bear lover and reached out a paw. "What's wr-"
He screamed, "AAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"I KNOW!" screamed Silas, suddenly turning around. "I ruined you! I totally fucked up and I ruined you! Get angry at me! Scream at me! Kill me! I don't care! I don't fucking deserve to be around you any more! I... I...." The bear broke into tears again.
Ryan couldn't believe it. He looked down and it was all true. He was a bear. He was a real large, furry, black bear, weighing about 700 pounds or so. He had paws, claws, a muzzle, teeth, a big warm belly, and a tail. He absolutely could not believe it. He began exploring himself everywhere, marveling at his own body.
But his attention soon went back to Silas, who was hyperventilating with choking tears. "Wait, hold on, calm down... Just calm down. I'm not upset at you. Just take some deep breaths, alright?" He breathed deeply with Silas a bit as the bear calmed down a good deal. "Just tell me what happened and why."
Silas sniffled quietly and said, "I think... I think one of the things about my curse is that whenever I get sexually aroused, I become more animal than human. I noticed it whenever I used to masturbate. I felt the beast inside me awaken, and I wanted to just do whatever my instincts desired. And I think that maybe I am a legitimate were-bear, or something, if biting you managed to turn you into a bear." He looked into Ryan's eyes. "You're really not mad at me?"
"I'm not," said Ryan honestly. "I'm just very shocked and surprised at this moment. But..." Here Ryan felt a bit dejected, "I guess this means I can't go home, either."
Silas nodded and bowed his head. "That's why I'm so upset. I took you away from your family and friends."
Ryan sighed. "It's sad, yes, but on the other hand, I never felt truly happy being completely human. What's left of my family doesn't have much to want to do with me, and I didn't have many true friends who really liked the kind of guy I was. You reminded me that there are many many good humans still left in this world, but personally, I just like being this way. You know, I think I really do!" Ryan started roaming his paws all over his huge furry belly, legs, and head. "I can't believe I'm a bear! I'm a bear! I'm not a bear, am I?"
Silas giggled through his tears. "You are a bear, and a truly beautiful one at that, but it's pretty sad to see you've become just like the bear that I...that I-"
Ryan put a paw over Silas' muzzle. "That's enough. If anything, now you get a chance to show love for the bear, rather than cruelty."
Silas looked straight into Ryan's eyes. "Do you really love me?"
Ryan looked back. "More than anything."
"I love you, too, Ryan. More than anything."
The two bears stood on their hind legs and wrapped themselves around each other. They would be together, forever, just like this.
The End
AFTERWORD: Thank you so much for reading this. Just as a little sidenote, I wrote this all in one sitting after seeing Brokeback Mountain the night before (which I hated due to the overwhelming feelings of depression and despair it left me with). I guess I was filled with a so many negative feelings that I wanted transmuted into something better, so I wrote this story, which has death, but more importantly, love that rectifies itself. Please feel free to vote and comment, as this story is truly my favorite one and which I regard as my personal best. Big loving bear hugs to you, and take care of yourself! :)
Furio