Iconoclast Chapter 4

Story by Bennu on SoFurry

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#2 of Iconoclast: an Elder Scrolls series

The last for a short while, I was editing the earlier stuff into a more coherent story, and putting it all into one 'volume', at least 50 pages altogether, which is something since I haven't written this much ever.

Anyways, this time I threw in a Khajiit orgy and the obligatory cameo by everyone's favorite god of madness.


That night was our first in the new house, and Tsukari and Tsalani stayed in our room so her various adult relations could sleep in a place that didn't have ten kids running around. This was fine as Makari was happy to cuddle with her sister- who looks almost the same, but with darker colors- and I talked to Tsalani, she was almost cuddled up to me on one side, and I thought of something- "I realize, about the marriage thing, they just got carried away thinking about babies, and I should've been more flexible- but honestly I got tired of it and just went with it."

She smiles "I understand, those female cats get bossy hmm?"

"I should've thought of people instead of baby machines though, especially since I... we haven't figured out if we can, yaknow." as I gesture at my wife, and Tsalani nods, then grins "What you need is a mad wizard."

I snort, "Ha, actually Radirr told me about a wizard tower, off in the wilds, some Dunmer Telvanni that fled Morrowind. Apparently he's a follower of Sheogorath and makes monsters. I'm not sure how much of that is lack of moonsugar though." As crazy as they are on drugs, withdrawal is even messier, but since he had been clean for some years I suspected he was a sane as he could get.

Tsalani moves up against my belly, my back to my wife as we fall asleep. This sounds all cute unless you know how awkward it is to sleep piled up with arms in the way or going numb and cold feet randomly touching you, but we managed to sleep till morning.

I slowly wake up as the snoring dies down and lazy cats flop around trying to avoid the morning. Laying on my right side. a warm body is pressed firmly against my front, and a firm bottom is in my crotch, gently rubbing against my morning wood. I purr and slip my hand up to a breast, then hear "What's that touching my- oh- hi Hrothmund." as Tsalani gently scoots forward an inch. I grunt in her ear "Oops." and she giggles, then I roll over and wrap my arm around the orange girl on my other side, nuzzling her ear and rubbing her belly, whispering "Hey 'Kari." She churrs and pushes up against me, grunting as I poke her rear, then reaching down to stroke my shaft. I grunt "Oh baby..." and she flips around, grinning "Oh baby indeed, didn't know my sister liked 'em so big!"

Makari pops up on the far side of her sister, and climbs over her to flop on top of me, grumbling "Noooooo, my penis..." and I snicker, groping and kissing her, then flipping her on her back making her eyes get wide, and I smile down gently rubbing against her. She flusters and says "In front of them!?" and I say "They're adults, they can get up and walk out..." but neither did, Tsalani made a rude noise and pulled the blankets over her head, and Tsukari was leaning on her elbows with eager eyes as I gently undressed us and eased myself in, Makari shyly going along with it as I gently worked my way in, getting her juices flowing.

Then I settled in completely, and she wrapped her limbs around me kissing my face, I nibbled her shoulder as I rested there, then started pumping. She gasps as I quickly thrust straight in and out, smacking against her, glancing over at her sister who is watching with a big grin. After a minute or two of that I shift gears, moving myself so that the pubic bone above the base of my shaft rubs against her clit, making her groan with each press, the head of my cock moving in just enough to brush her cervix with each cycle. I speed up as she pants faster and grips harder, and we cum about the same time, shuddering as my semen pumps inside her.

I lay on top of her, still inside as we gasp, sweaty and limp, and her sister groans touching herself, then laughs saying "That's how you get a Khajiit pregnant, gotta get rough and hard... according to mama, she would know. Something about the spines, too."

Tsalani pops out long enough to say "The barbs stimulate nerves that help trigger ovulation." then covers back up. I flop over beside my wife and wonder about that till we get hungry and go to clean up and get food.

I had thought about my next adventure and decided on who to take last night, and in the kitchen talked to Radirr (who took up an entire corner) since he would be our guide, and he agreed with my plan. Makari said she didn't want to come with me because it would be too long and hard, and Tsalani said she was willing to have me take her instead. Tsukari wouldn't stop giggling at this and her mother started worrying she'd had too much moonsugar. I went to the inn and found Darshadir and Jidargo at the old campfire with someone I didn't recognize, an older Khajiit male in generic robes. After some greetings, I told them- "I'm planning a longer expedition- I don't have much to do since I'm not having sex with everyone. Darshadir, you're big and strong, and Zed is staying to guard your sister's family- yes I know you should too, but you're going to marry my sister right?" He groans, "I dunno yet, she's hot but it's a bit fast." "Well run off for a couple of days to think about it, see if she bones anyone while you're gone, et cetera. I'm sure you have plenty of options back home- well when you can return. Jidargo, you're a good rogue and can handle camels, so you get the easy job of waiting around while we bash monsters." They nod, and Darshadir asks- "Who else will you take?" "I was going to have Radirr as guide, plus obviously he's a tiger... I wasn't sure yet, it might get messy, and everyone is busy having fun. Tsalani and Bugeater are my fallback choices but they're a bit green. I think she would work but he's too eager to prove himself." They then introduce me to their companion- "I am called Open Door. I have said things that upset the Thalmor, like the Khajiit shouldn't rely on any empire, and we should have our traditional gods since the Thalmor can dictate that Talos isn't one, so Khajiit should be be free to have theirs... nothing terrible mind you they're just... prickly. What caused more trouble was saying the elves had no business messing with the moons as that was what Khajiit are for, as it is said we will 'climb upon the winds of Khenarthi's breath and set Masser and Secunda aright, lest they fail'." I recall something about the moons vanishing- "Oh right, a hundred years ago, the moons vanished, they claimed to bring them back... and that turned the Khajiit against the Empire. Convenient, hmm?" "Yes, that is why I come here, you are going to wild places where secrets are hidden." "Oh, join our party? You aren't young- what are your talents?" "Lore and magic. I know all five schools, and went to the College of Winterhold." "Oh, you know Skyrim? I was raised near Markarth." "The Dwemer city, I have not been, but that is why you like these metal toys yes? Nords and Khajiits like physical things more than ethereal magics, for true." "Yes, we lack mages so you'd be useful. We meet at my house at dawn. In fact, everyone else will be sleeping at my house." "Ah well I have my tent, I can stay in the yard yes? Open Door enjoys the outdoors, and it will prepare me better than a soft bed."

That night I decided we'd have a party, no talk about family trees or anything, just drink and talk about perverted stuff instead, so several of the wild young cats all cram in our bedroom with the windows open for a cool breeze and I say- "OK, should we have a drinking game or just drink?" Everyone starts randomly chattering random ideas but not liking any and finally I say- "OK, stop- we're obviously all just interested in getting tipsy and being perverts, so let's just do that... everyone here has someone they can fool around with right? Makari and I, Tsukari and Darshadir, Jidargo and Krinrah... oh, Bugeater and Tsalani are kinda shafted huh? We need at least one girl- put your hand down, mother-in-law... wait who told you..." "Oh I just had a feeling since you were loudly talking about drinking and fucking." "Oh. Well you know everyone, who can do those two then?" Tsalani perks up- "You know who I want, I'll go get Stuck in Tree." Then a voice outside "Hey! Down here!" I look down and Open Door and Radirr shout up, "If someone is coming down, send a bottle for the biped- and a bowl for the quadruped- keep the bimbos for yourself though!" We send some with her, then discuss what to do with Bugeater. Mother-in-law purrs "I'll take care of it thank you very much!" and drags him off to another room semi-willingly. Makari sighs "At least she left the room this time." I slip my arm around her and ask "So how are we gonna do this hmm?" Then Jidargo says "Why try to organize Khajiits, hmm? Hrothmund should relax a bit more, you've done enough work just getting them here. Let's just get to the sex part yes?" he said as Krinrah pulled him onto a cushion. The lithe young male cat stood gracefully and let his dress slowly slip down, revealing soft short fur on a firm body, only covered by stockings on his arms and legs as he started to dance and tease his lover. This went on for a while, and the girls were watching and practicing some moves with us, then I got a brilliant idea- "Dudes- siddown- girls- you know what I mean- lapdances for everyone- go!" Everyone thought this was splendid, and the 'girls' danced for their partner for a bit, Makari slow and gracefully reserved, then I yelled "Now switch!" and they rotated over and Tsukari was dancing for me, a more aggressive tease than her sister. She rapidly made swooping movements, flashing bare fur in an entrancing pattern, then switch again, and Krinrah dances like water, flowing across my lap. He made sure to let me see his small round fluffy rump, and the small round fuzzy balls beneath. Then switch again, and Makari flops in my lap.

Krinrah cuddles and molests Jidargo, and Darshadir disrobes, he is tall and virile, his muscles slightly rippling his pale fur as he relaxes lounging backwards on his bed. I see his cat-hood is large even half flaccid, and his balls just as impressive. Tsukari throws her dress down revealing lacy undergarments and sits in his lap, kissing and caressing him as he explores her and they both become visibly aroused. She looks down at his stiff spiny cock and plays with it before mounting, gently easing down, he says "Oh, Tsukari is so tight..." and she smiled "Oh Darshadir so big... yes I do dirty things- mm- but in other holes- ahh... this one is special... you're only the second man to get inside it..." as she settled down, arms around each other as she held him close, gently rocking her hips. I noticed the boys had gotten further along as well, but I waited until everyone was done for our turn, whispering a plan to Makari.

After they all finish I get naked, clothes dropping and I stand for examination- a real live Nord, with smooth penis and everything! Hey look he's not completely hairless, explains why Khajiit fur doesn't bother him. After a few minutes of everyone looking and the girls playing with it, Makari motions me to sit a cushion next to the wall, and I reflexively lean back against it. She steps over and lets her dress slip to the floor, then does a handstand, steadying herself by putting her feet on the wall, her crotch is at my face as she balances and lowers her mouth on my cock. I've never seen her do this but go with it, kissing her soft labia with the light fur around them, not like human pubic hair, but still a patch the color of the hair on her head instead of her pale creamy belly fur. I open her lips with my fingertips and enjoy the view of her pale pink interior, teasing her with my tongue. Then she gulps at my throbbing hardness, her tongue sliding all around my shaft and somehow squeezing its head as she raises and lowers her head, arms locked holding her up. She goes on for ages until I have to stop licking her as I shudder and twitch, teased so badly, and roughly grip her waist as my brain explodes. I groan like a guar as my seed shoots in her mouth, and somehow she swallows it while still upside down, and only after flips back over, cuddling against me with muscles trembling and panting.

Everyone recovers their eyebrows from the ceiling, not expecting erotic gymnastics that flamboyant. I'm surprised myself, and was afraid to ask where she learned to do that, before I remembered- "Oh- the "Pillow Book" hmm?" She smirks "Well you told me to show off, and my acrobatics skill is pretty high." And Tsalani arrives back alone and says "Well she's not that easy. Good grief it smells like sex in here, now I'm all worked up..." We all look at each other, and by consensus Darshadir has to take one for the team and go down on her since he's the only unrelated person who is trained in it. I realize I still owe my wife something and watch him a bit for inspiration, then finish returning the favor she gave me.

Sun rises, and nobody has a hangover- we had sex too fast to drink much. We prepare, and the party leaves- Radirr and myself leading, with Jidargo, the camel, Tsalani, and Open Door mixing in the middle, then Darshadir at the rear. The water skins slosh with the camel's gait, and as we pass southeast along the road taking the easy path, there is soon just wind, footsteps, and breathing. We round the ridge and head northeast, towards the high hills with their steep slopes. Radirr knows an old path through a canyon, narrow but safe, and we trudge in the growing heat, sweat dripping down, evaporating in the air swirling under our robes. I left my armor off but packed where it was easy to grab- simply too hot and cumbersome. The Khajiits had a kind of quilted cotton armor, we had used it in training, it is good enough to resist blows and avoid minor cuts, but although light it was thick and hot as well.

For weapons I had my glass sword, as well as the Dwemer crossbow since I liked how small it was compared to a regular bow, and it was handy for critters and varmints. A dagger in my boot was a useful cliche. I didn't bother with carrying anything else, that's what the pack animal is for- it would be silly to carry all my stuff, not like I have some magic bag. Nothing moved except some small bugs heading for shade, and we passed from the open valley into the canyon snaking into the stony hills, narrowing as we rise, then up a steep path onto a ridge, and ahead is a spire. We crawl closer, only broken rock here and an easy fall to either side, and Radirr growls up at something flying over. He moves faster and we struggle to keep up, coming to a solid area at the end of the ridge, the tower rises like a tree- literally, it looks like wood that grew there with roots clinging to the cliff below, and a smooth trunk rising up a hundred feet or more. No windows except some tiny holes and a few at the very top. We halt away from the door, which is round and brassy, and some creature glides down, eying Radirr who stares back defiantly.

I've never seen this thing- the rear looks like a tiger, but the front is like a hawk! It has bird legs at the front, and some stubby wings at the shoulders, but they don't flap, as it apparently can use a levitation spell. It calmly folds its limbs like a cat and speaks- "Greetings, I am Miara, servant of the wizard Relyn of the Tower of Jone. I assume you are here peacefully as you have not drawn weapons. This one has been chasing me for some time but is frustrated he cannot catch me." Radirr snorts and paces, "Yes, that one has been flying around my hunting grounds." I'm too busy looking at this oddness to speak, so Open Door says "Greetings, Miara, we come to see the wizard- is there a chance he might speak with us?" "He might, but why should I help without help?" "Ah, of course, what could we help you with?" "I have grown tired of living here, but have never been out of sight of this tower, and it would be foolish to get lost in the desert." "We can help." "Will you take me to a place where I can hunt in peace?" "Hmm, I think so, yes." "I will go see him then." and it floated up and into a high window as we wait. I think about this and ask "Do you think it's a good idea to help that thing? It might be a trap." "Yes, but we have arrows." "You're the expert."

High noon, sun burning down, hot wind flies across the desert, then the shadow of the wizard as he levitates over us. "Hail, strangers. You come in peace? Nobody has come in many years! And Khajiit being friendly to Dunmer? What strange new era has come?" Open Door speaks "Hail, fellow mage, I care not for differences, only shared interests. I have had visions from Azurah, and seek knowledge of the moons." "Ah, then this is the place for you. Much I know, but much I expended gaining it. Strong you are, to make it this far. I hid myself too well, it makes my experiments so difficult without generic bandits to use. You are adventurers though? I have a proposition then, pay me with work. Enter the tower and seek a goal, make it there alive and take what you will." I grumble "Ugh, I heard about this sort of thing happening in the Oblivion Crisis..." "Ah yes I remember... so many died! It was madness, which is why I began to follow Sheogorath, for how else could I understand madness? All the gods are positively insane you know. Oh, this sun is hot- I haven't been outside since... hmm... oh right. You have four paths, laid out by myself- mania, hysteria, rage, greed. Mania is fixated, hysteria is messy, rage destroys, greed accumulates. No one is better than the others, except in how you handle it. Do not worry overmuch, I made it easy enough to stay alive. Staying sane is harder to do." Since there are four paths, we decide that four of us will take one apiece. The prophet takes mania, Darshadir takes rage, Tsalani takes hysteria, and I take greed. Greed covers many things- money, sex, power, food... but all is the uncontrolled desire for more. I'm fairly humble in my desires so surely I can handle it.

We prepare, putting on armor and grabbing potions and food and water, always water. The mad wizard rambles about the monsters he's made, combining various animals like hawk and- Khajiit. Not surprising a Telvanni wizard would lump them with beasts and I wonder if humans are much higher in his view. I talk to them about our plans- "OK, this is obviously one of those freaky dungeons, so how do we not go crazy?" They laugh, and Radirr says- "You think of it as being foreign when it is native- isn't is always an imbalance of what is considered normal? You think it's normal to go into burning desert when other think it is crazy and stay home. It is more an altered state of consciousness. I've been a hermit in the desert for a decade, trust me." "I know I'm sane because I- uh- everyone seems to think so. Yeah I see your point. So why worry right? If we're already crazy then it can't hurt us." "Sanity is experience meeting expectations." "Yeah well, our expectation is that we can go from here to there, so if we just run through..." Open Door looks doubtful- "No, the designer intended for it to force a confrontation with those concepts- just do the 'right' thing... at least what a crazy magic loving Dunmer would consider right." "I don't know anything about Dunmer!" "Oh well... maybe this was a bad idea." "No, no, I'm sure generic cliche obvious answers will work- be nice to the beggar to gain 'good points', go beat up an old person for no reason to gain 'bad points', that sort of banal crap."

We notice the wizard is getting impatient, and tell him we are ready, so he returns to his aerie and we enter the organic tower- the tunnel looks like a vegetable vagina as we enter a small room with four doors, and we part ways. I creep downwards, expecting hordes of monsters or sexy winged twilights or piles of gold guarded by a dragon but it was empty, and I find myself in a large spherical room that seems eternally large. I start to suspect it is some clever hollow ball that rolls as I walk, but grow tired quickly. There is no comfortable way to rest and my mind wanders, seeking my weakness. What do I seek most- creation? Making things? Why though? The past looms, Skyrim again... and my weakness, the madness of my parents, their slow decay into mania and dementia, and how I fled in mind, then body, trying to escape Sheogorath- "Sheogorath is already inside each of us. You have already lost." I found balance- I found a friend who became a lover... "Like others before" and we work together, we made a village, we might have children, we want a family... "Artemis does as well, but her husband doesn't, he is ashamed to have children that don't look like him so he doesn't give her affection, just keeps her on his arm for appearances." I am happy to have children of any kind, if I was with her... "You would be her lover, just like with Makari you would pour all your energy into her and forget all others, making what you felt for them meaningless." No, it's not meaningless, any more than having supper makes breakfast insignificant... "So why don't you take all the women you want? Nobody will object, they will obey you, you are clan father, it is your expected role to mate with all of the young ones, to bind them together." It would hurt her. I have already had my share of women. "You don't want to break your toys because you want to fix everything, you feel helpless and crave order, but Everything develops entropy, devolves, decays, like fire burning in coals at night." Is this it? to tell me I'm mortal and my instincts are to avoid the inevitable? When i feel stronger these doubts are petty, but eventually I grow tired and weak and in the darkness everything seems real...

I rise and explore again, moving up as whispers try to gnaw at me, but I reach light and emerge in a room with the wizard. Blurry with exhaustion, we leave triumphant with our loot and return to Bath. I seek Makari but she is distant, busy being herself, and I busy myself with work. Artemis visits, and we spend a long time talking alone. I admire her, and she relaxes around me since I treat her as an equal and friend (just like with Makari) and we touch, bashful at first (just like Makari) but soon I crave her, voracious delirium as I wrap my arms around her, those bright green eyes burning into mine as we kiss. We break off and flee in shame, but then later meet in the spring house, and pull together again, this time shamelessly in public, nobody will tell me not to do it if her husband doesn't object, but he wanders away home, and Makari is busy with cousins, so why stay with that girl who only cares about little things when there is a woman who is more than my equal, who encourages me with thoughts of being more? She is eager to return home, and we go together, with my support she is made Queen of Corinth and weds me to spite the Thalmor. We soon have children, a Cathay pair of twins, boy and girl, resembling their mother except their eyes are mine, bright blue framed by silvery fur. Talos guides a Dragonborn to Skyrim to fight Alduin, who then commands the surviving dragons to do their duty of preserving order and turn their voices against the Thalmor, flying south they crush them and the Empire is rebuilt. I join the Elder Council, part of the ruling faction that wants a peaceful federation instead of centralized state, and suffer endlessly trying to balance the ever shifting factions. We are so busy Artemis and I forget each other and I take my share of women, first a lusty maid, then daughters of nobles, then wives of nobles, leaving bastards in some. I become Chancellor and strain myself trying to balance Tamriel. We pursue plots and I find myself back at the tower, after something the wizard knows, back into the overgrown plant, once again risking the lure of greed but I can win again, I'm humble, I-

I never did. Sheogorath won. All of my reasoning and logic was swept away by emotion and madness. I abandoned one lover for another then moved along heedless trying to create the same ecstasy. I thought I was doom-driven to save the world and give everyone peace and order, but I wound up blundering like every other fool since the First Era.

I miss someone but I forget who, all the memories blur together.

I lay hungry and tired in a sphere that slowly rolls as I move. Wait, I'm not moving, so how- footsteps- a cane taps- gleaming yellow eyes and a grin- "Congratulations, you won! By losing! You lost everything! Well, except your life. Mostly your memory... but you remember something, so is it really gone?" -purple cloth with intricate designs moves in the gloom- "You were so DULL though! No screaming or raving or silent self hatred, just mild shame- how shameful! But you won! You get... to leave. Or you can stay, and die! You should eat your cheese, you're STARVING. Literally. Makes walking difficult, so I'd try crawling instead." The room is different, more solid, and I see a door now. The speaker, at once a middle aged man and multidimensional monstrosity, continues- "The wizard is upstairs waiting for you. Now HE'S fun, although monotonous, always monster this and science that... but, I've wasted enough time here, tata... for nowwwwwww."

Somehow I make my way up, and into a large room with windows around. The wizard and prophet are sitting there talking before they notice me. Neither has aged, though it has been twenty years since I was here last. They help me drink and rest before letting me speak. I am delirious for some time, but regain my voice, and ask "Has anyone else made it?" Open Door shakes his head sadly, "Tsalani turned around and fled. Droshadir hasn't been seen at all, but the wizard assures me he lives." "But- they went with us the first time- why are you still here?" "Why are you here?" "I needed to see the wizard again, there are still Thalmor in spite of the dragons." His face is unmoving "I see. Tell me more." I summarize, and he listens carefully, making me add in some details, then wanders the room for some time. Finally he returns and says "The rules are that none who challenge may receive help, but... you escaped, so I will tell you that this is still the first expedition. Didn't you wonder who it was that talked to you down there?" "I assumed it was a servant of some kind..." "Oh no, it was the master- Sheogorath. Your bodily weakness has left you confused so you are convinced his visions are real. I see you trust me, good, it would be obvious once we returned that it was still 195 Fourth Era. I'm afraid there is some damage though I dare not interfere and risk the wrath of the Mad God. Don't worry, he will forget about you soon enough... for a time. You will not be ready to return home for a few days, we will see by then." "I must find my brother though- I owe him much, and can't face his sister..." "None of us can interfere. I am optimistic, he has gotten closer, and he really is fighting real animals, so he must be eating them. No, he assures me that there are non-sentient ones there so he won't become a cannibal." I rest, almost sure this is reality. That vision or dream was real enough, though some was pure fantasy, no doubt from childhood daydreams- there are no dragons left. Not to mention that nonsense about republics in a tolerant federation- obviously he went overboard. Not that I want to give Sheogorath better ideas.

The next day Darshadir emerged, lean and lightly wounded, but eyes bright and back straight as he told us he learned more in the tower than his years of training. He seemed taller and more confident, where I was broken and feeble. I told him my story, and he was sympathetic, saying "Yes, she is very desirable, no wonder he used her to try and make you mad. I wish she was with someone more like you, but life isn't fair. We need to return though, I will carry you as needed." "Stay with me, in bed, I have trouble sleeping alone... you know, we had many adventures together but I only barely remember now. Oh- we came for treasure..." "He gave us some gold and I mentioned machines, he found a few small things I can't describe." "Oh well, I'm sure it'll be interesting..." The large cat-man goes to clean up, and returns almost naked, crawling carefully next to me, and I had to laugh as he sheepishly tried not to be too awkward about it- "Yes spoon me you big fluff, don't be a pussy about it. Just put that pillow in your crotch." "Why are you so weak? Was it the strain of going mad or some junk?" "Oh, no, it was the not eating or drinking, I fell into oblivion you know... I wonder if my vision wasn't just fantasy- if he included things that are probable... typical divine mistake, mixing up time." "You'll have to write it down then... although, visions of the future are useless since we never know if they are right in time to help us." "Oh, thank you Obvious Pointicus." He huffed in my ear, getting some snot in there for good measure, then passed out and snored all night. Maybe I should just have asked for a stuffed tiger instead.

In the morning we leave, the wizard shows us a back stair but I am still weak and the hybrid Miara lets me ride on her as she levitates down. In the time I was gone she had become friends with everyone, and wanted to come home with us. As it would be easier for her to carry me than anyone else, and the camel was loaded with loot and would be bumpier, I agreed. I ride on her back as she glides above the ground alongside the others, I'm lethargic but alert and we talk about our adventures in the tower as we slowly cross the wasteland. The heat helped me rest more than expected, and regularly drinking and eating made me feel alive, if still weak, so when we reached the road I started walking to get muscle back. When he could see the village Radirr raced ahead to warn we were coming, showing off his speed. Apparently nothing eventful had happened and everyone came to the market square to see what shiny pretty things we had. Makari fussed over me, grabbing me tight and kissing constantly, playing with my beard and worrying over the gaunt face behind it. I felt dischord, competing memories of my other life expecting Artemis there, but I ignored it- so what if I was a different person once, I was reincarnated in a sense so time to move on...