FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

“There's something going down in the south of Germany," K9AI reported, projecting using hard-light onto the air itself in front of the members of VIGIL.

She was a first-of-her kind invention, a computer with highly advanced sensory and diagnostic tools built upon a Golden Retriever's body. She looked a bit like anyone's favorite pet dog wearing a fancy helmet, but of course that helmet was actually her brain, and connected directly to the nerves in the small cavity typical of a four-legged retriever. Her robot voice was smooth and natural, and she'd really grown from robotic assistant to one of the team in the last two months.

“What are we looking at?" asked Maximus, his bulging muscles still downplaying his enormous strength. He'd once lifted an entire building with just his bare hands. Plus he was basically impervious to conventional weapons, making him de facto leader of VIGIL.

A satellite image of a beach zoomed in, and then zoomed in again, focusing on the occupants below, giving Gate Dane a start. “Are we spying on a nude beach now, Kay?" he joked, standing against the wall with his arms crossed. The mutant might look a little funny with his large, droopy lips and big floppy ears, but he was actually one of the most useful members of the team thanks to his ability to teleport at will. And who didn't like a little levity in a stressful situation?

K9AI spared a glance Gate Dane's way, and anyone could see she was blushing, even though the fur on her muzzle covered it up. She said, “Th-that's not...it's…" Clearing her throat, which was completely unnecessary for an artificially generated voice, Kay replied, “There've been reports of an influx of...um...women with surprising pregnancies in the area. We sent interns to check it out, and after a series of interviews, they found that all of the women had been at this particular beach 5 to 8 weeks prior. It doesn't seem like a coincidence."

“Another Xordani artifact, buried in the sands?" Victory asked, clenching her first. She was Nylari, the race of aliens that fled oppression at the claws of the Xordani and settled on Earth 1.5 million years ago. To escape detection, the Nylari interbred with the most similar species, leading the Cro Magnon people to develop into modern homosapiens. The Xordani could find no trace of the Nylari after just a few generations, and their scouts left Earth, abandoning thousands of technological devices that occasionally caused problems to this day. Now, the Xordani and the Nylari were both extinct, except through their DNA infused throughout the human genome.

Victory, however, had been lost in a cryopod for millions of years before Maximus freed her while stopping the most recent asteroid cannon attack from Mars. Her eyes were a bit large, her nose a bit shorter, and she was covered in light purple skin, but overall, she was a smokin' hottie, a fact that Maximus had noticed immediately. Now, she was a valued member of the team, using her psionic projections to create illusions, and also Max's girlfriend.

“Unlikely," Kay reported, opening a table and pouring past data that would take a human years to process. “I'm not getting an influx of gamma radioflobons in that area."

“So, it's a villain?" Gate Dane asked, leaning forward. “Someone, somehow, impregnating these ladies? But why?"

Maximus smashed his fist into his other hand, pronouncing, “That's what we've got to discover! VIGIL, roll out!"

Despite their attempts to remain anonymous and free from the bureaucracy, Maximus had made deals with an unknown benefactor, whose vast personal wealth afforded VIGIL a private harrier jet. While Max wasn't known for tact or subtlety, Victory had garnered cooperation contracts with the major European countries, allowing them to do flyovers, as long as they stayed in contact with local air traffic control.

Gate Dane hated plane flights. He was strapped into a tiny box hurtling through the air at hundreds of miles per hour where his teleportation didn't especially work. He could only reappear in other places in the plane. If he left the plane, he would fall - maybe okay if he had a parachute on, but a parachute didn't cure his fear of heights.

“You know - I've been to this beach before," he said, trying to settle his nerves.

“Oh, that's right. You're from Germany," Victory noted, strapped into the copilot's seat up front, next to Maximus. Say what you will about the invincible man, he wasn't an idiot. He'd completed flight school in half the usual time.

“It's about a 25 minute drive from Radolfzell. Used to go there with my girlfriend," he said, gripping the arms of his flight seat.

Kay was strapped into the chair next to him, her body not exactly designed for the supersonic jet. But her light green flight suit locked into the seatbelt mechanism and kept her pretty well secured. “You have a girlfriend?" she asked. “I don't have a record of that in my database."

"Ex-girlfriend," the brindle-furred Great Dane clarified. "God - what if she's also a victim? She never wanted kids."

"Whoever is doing this, we'll find them, and bring them to justice," Maximus bellowed with a low, commanding voice.

K9AI looked relieved. "Why'd you break up?"

The mutant shrugged. "She was a bitch, in both ways. Pretty little Saluki rump, but that tail was hiding a really uptight asshole."

Confused, Kay cocked her head. "She didn't, uh...prefer anal sex?"

Victory called back, "Metaphor, Kay."

Running a flash diagnostic check, Kay analyzed each word in the sentence for likelihood of multiple meanings, and quickly realized her mistake. "Ah, she was mean," she concluded.

Gate Dane laughed. "You can say that again." But Kay had long ago learned that this request was rhetorical and kept her mouth shut. "What about you ladies - aren't you worried the lake monster might knock you guys up, too?"

"Oh," Kay gasped at the question, averting her eyes. "However he is accomplishing his task, it seems likely that wearing my flight suit will protect me, assuming he has any interest whatsoever in Artificial Intelligences."

"Or dogs," Max added.

Victory just shrugged it off. "He wouldn't dare try anything against VIGIL - not if he knows what's good for him."

"Certainly not with me there to protect you," Maximus added, slowly turning the harrier jet.

"Appreciate that, Maxy," the Nylari replied. "But we all know I can take care of myself. I am the most powerful among us."

Max laughed. "You keep saying that. But I'm basically unkillable."

She said, "But not uncontrollable. What would you do if I subjected you to a blindness illusion? Thrash about until you hit something?"

K9AI interjected, "What makes you think Gate Dane isn't the strongest?"

But the mutant squirmed in his seat. "Fast is good and all, but what could I do to Maximus?"

The leader agreed. "One hit, and Dane's down. Things might be different if he could port people with him. Can you imagine him just porting a bad guy to the top of a roof and dangling him over? Or taking someone straight to a prison cell on Jansen's MaxSec for Mutants? One second they're here, the next they're literally locked up."

Dane shook his head. "Even if I could, it has to be a place within walking distance. Locked doors would be an issue, too."

Victory asked, "Why is that again? Why can you teleport past a closed door, but not if it is locked?"

Gate Dane stared right back at Victory, who was looking over her shoulder. "Same reason you can project illusions into our minds."

"Huh?" she asked.

"Because that's just how our powers work," he said with a smug smile.

"Very funny," Victory replied, grimacing.

They landed at the local airport after flying in circles a few times to gain clearance. In the movies, they would have gotten into the VIGILcopter or VIGILmobile and sped off to Untersee to find the obscure beach. Instead, they rented a minivan. A native German speaker, Gate Dane arranged for the car, and he even helped fasten their cyborg into her back seat, but Maximus once again took the wheel, joking about the canine occupants wanting the windows open to stick their heads out.

Dane simply said, "Boring."

Max protested. "Come on - that was funny! Because you're dogs."

Victory, aghast, said, "You're not supposed to call them that; that's offensive!"

But Dane laughed it off. "Being a dog isn't a bad thing. Right Kay?"

K9AI glanced up at her seatmate and nodded, smiling.

"See?" Max said, as if that excused his insensitive joke.

Dane didn't press the issue, staring out the window with a pensive expression.

The drive took more than twenty-five minutes with Max behind the wheel - as much as he knew he could easily survive a car crash, he was conscientious about his passengers. The picturesque German countryside and idyllic old buildings sped by as Max neared the Bodensee, also known as Lake Constance. But the nude beach in question was off the beaten path, and secluded by rocks and trees, and on private property.

“Fuenfzein Euro pro Person," the gruff voice at the ticket building attached to a truly gorgeous estate that overlooked the private beach. The man peered into the minivan. “Sie sind Amerikaner? You speak English?"

Max nodded. “You take Visa?"

“Yes, sir, we do," the man said, gladly, letting VIGIL through.

The beach itself was gorgeous, the typical pebbles replaced by tons of sand by the owners of the property. Large umbrellas dotted the sixty-five feet of beach, and a large, rustic wooden bar stood twenty feet away from the lake, serving overpriced mimosas, and of course beer. Maximus pulled up into the overlooking parking lot. “About...twenty-five people."

Gate Dane unlatched the restraints on K9AI, and she hopped up between the front seats of the car, looking down at the beach. “Twenty-six people, mostly nude, though seven are wearing bottoms. Estimated age range 16 to 73, average 24.6 with a standard deviation of 8.3. Six are mutants, comprising three dogs, a swan, a doe, and a couple of European lynxes. Fourteen guests have purchased and are consuming alcohol from the bar. Five are seated, thirteen sunbathing, and eight are swimming. For what it is worth, prices are marked up 165% from local market prices. Shall I run a facial analysis and background check on the guests?"

Victory dropped her jaw. She was, after all, the newest member of the team, joining just barely after K9AI herself. The Nylari said, “That was two seconds, Kay. And how did you get the prices from up here?"

The cyborg said simply, “The menu is reflected in the foil heat-shield of the Toyota Corolla parked by the bar."

Gate Dane whistled. “You read the menu backwards and in German, and cross checked it with local grocery store prices? And you think Maximus is the most powerful?"

Kay replied, “While my analysis suggests that Victory is the most likely to emerge victorious in a free-for-all between the four of us, 'most powerful' is subjective, and it is clear that we all bring different strengths to the team. We are, as it is often said, stronger together."

Dane clapped, and slid open the door of the mini-van. “Well, what are we waiting for?"

Kay hopped out behind him, stretching her legs, her dark green 'helmet' and flight suit covering up her long fur. Still, her lucious, golden tail wagged behind her as she waited for the other three to get ready.

Max said, “What are you doing, Dane…?"

“It's a nude beach," he said, pulling off his shirt to reveal a pretty muscular chest, despite the dark brindle fur that obscured him.

Max said, “We're here for business, and it's not like we're undercover. We're just interviewing the guests to find out if anything unusual has been happening."

“Come on, Maxy," Victory crooned. “We're here - it's a beautiful day. Why not mix work with pleasure? Besides, I'm sure they've never seen a Nylari naked."

Maximus said, “I'm the only living person who has."

Victory reached for her blouse, lifting it off her slender, blue-skinned body. “Time to change that."

Max said, “Wait, you're serious? Babe…"

Sticking out her tongue at her boyfriend, she said, “Is the big man jealous? Or are you shy? Maybe you're afraid of a little sunburn?"

Grumbling, Maximus replied, “You know I can't get sunburned."

“Well, I can, so help me with the sunscreen!" Victory was already topless, and reaching down to her tight shorts. Dane had to look away, but not before he got a glimpse of her out of her armor. The Nylari was practically human, except that her legs were barely digitigrade, meaning her “foot" was really her toes, her ankle a few inches above the ground. The other difference Dane noticed that he'd never seen before was the Nylari's tail. He'd thought she was tailless, but as she bent over to lower her pants, he saw that she had a six-inch-long blue, wedge-like tail.

Thank God he looked away before Max finished removing his t-shirt. Gate Dane didn't want any trouble with Max. He concentrated on stripping himself down, and glanced at Kay. “You gonna keep wearing that?"

The artificial intelligence simply nodded. “Even with the helmet, I find people take me more seriously when I'm wearing clothes."

“Might not be true at a nude beach," he pointed out. Behind him, Max was helping Victory by slathering white cream all over her impressive body. He kept his eyes down. “Let loose." He slipped off his own pants, stepping out completely naked. But with his fur and sheath, and his German sensibilities, he felt completely confident.

Kay blinked, then looked away. “It might not be a good idea. There's a male mutt on the beach, and I'm - I mean, my chassis is in heat. I'd rather avoid an embarrassing interaction."

Dane laughed. “It's not your chassis. It's you, Kay. We're all just brains attached to flesh, you included. But yeah, I get it. If that dog gives you any looks, don't worry, I'll kick him to the curb."

With a small smile, Kay replied in a near-whisper, “Thanks."

And so VIGIL approached the beach, doing as the Romans do, sunlight illuminating their bodies. They were somewhat well known, and a few guests recognized them immediately, but they didn't operate in Germany very often. Some guests were clearly unfamiliar with their team. Victory seemed to be having the most fun and drawing the most eyes - unlike mutants, she had no obvious animal characteristics. People barely gave Dane a second glance, but Maximus drew a few stares, his bulky body naked and rippling with absurd muscles.

“I'll start at the bar," Max said, “Victory - think you can hit up the ladies on the beach? Kay, Dane, head along up to the north beach and see if you can get some of those swimmers back in to talk. We're just fact-finding right now."

“VIGIL, roll out!" they announced together.

“So what are we looking for?" Gate Dane asked his much shorter companion as they walked through the sand.

“Anything unusual," K9AI explained, walking beside the tall anthro, looking anywhere but up at him. She'd never seen Dane naked before, and since she automatically recorded everything she saw, she had to be vigilant to maintain the mutant's privacy. “For all we know, this mutant's power might be to impregnate people from a distance. Why he would do that, I don't know."

“What makes you think he's a 'he'?"

Kay said flatly, “Psychological profiles. Sexual assault is more frequently committed by men, and society has taught men that sexual prowess and conquest is more masculine. Based on my calculations, the offender is probably a young male, likely a bit of an outsider, likely to display overconfidence and raw masculinity."

Grinning, Gate Dane said, “Sounds like you're describing me." He posed for her, flexing his muscles. He was no Maximus, but he worked out. Kay didn't notice, of course, because she wouldn't look up.

Kay kept her eyes on the sand, and muttered, “You're not overconfident. You have a right to be confident, with your power."

“Aww, is that a compliment, Kay? I didn't know you liked me," he teased.

“Of course I like you," she yipped, blushing. Then, she added hastily, “We're a team, right?"

Kay went to talk to someone who fit the profile to a 't', swimming in the nude in a very visible part of the lake. Dane would have teased her for picking the attractive, muscular man, but then, he went to interview three blonde ladies sunbathing near one of the umbrellas.

“Hallo, die Damen," he said calmly.

One seemed to be the mother of the other two, and Dane couldn't predict exactly their ages. They all obviously cared about their looks, with full-body tans and perfectly trimmed body hair. Shaved legs, pits, and neatly trimmed bush shined up at him from where he stood, the daughters with sizable curves to match their middle-aged mother.

“Excuse me, dog, but could you please stop ogling my daughters?" the woman spat back, also in German.

“Ma'am, I'm not -" he started.

One of the girls laughed at him. “We don't come here to be your sick fantasy."

He pushed through. “I just want to ask a few questions…"

But the mother was already moving to a crouch, glaring up at him. She knelt in the sand, and pointed up at him. “We don't talk to mutants, doggy. Girls, come on, flip over at least until this pervert goes away."

Gate Dane was shocked, but not surprised. There was plenty of anti-mutant sentiment, but usually people hid overt racism. A private beach was just the sort of place virulent racists like these three might visit to get away from the “riff-raff". He wasn't going to get anything out of these girls, and neither was Kay. Maximus, maybe. He looked down at the leering matron, as one daughter protested. “But my back is already tan, and we just started on the front." The other didn't mind though, flipping around and taking care to moon the anthro on the way.

Nevermind that VIGIL was here to literally protect the girls from a pervert! Dane gritted his teeth and said, “Fine. Have it your way." Before the second daughter could even lay back down, Dane disappeared and reappeared thirty feet away, a spray of sand and a loud bamf announcing his departure and arrival. He certainly didn't mind leaving the bitch of a mother coughing and shaking her fist.

Kay didn't get much out of her target. The young man said, “Hey, it's the Bone Brigade!" referring to a popular kids show.

She said, “Sir, may I ask you a few questions in -"

“Es tut mir leid, junger Hund, aber ich schwimme," he replied, now in German.

Flipping back to German, she tried, “Wir sind in offiziellen Angelegenheiten, untersuchen sexuelle Übergriffe…" but the man was already diving back into the water. Grimacing, she ran a facial scan of the young German through local databases, but none of the information confirmed a high level of suspicion for the rude youth. His face matched David Scholz, and a scan of his publicly available information suggested that he was out of town when most of the women had been assaulted here. She would have liked to put this particular overconfident youth on the top of her list of suspects.

She heard the bamf of Gate Dane teleporting, and turned to see him appear in the sand away from the three ladies he'd been interrogating. “That was fast," she said, trotting up to him.

“What?"

Kay blinked. “You only spoke with them for 15.47 seconds."

“Oh. Yeah. They were...pretty unhelpful. How about yours?"

She shook her head. “It's not him and he doesn't know anything."

Dane nodded. “You look flustered."

Something was bothering Kay. But could one rude young man be causing it? She said, “He was very dismissive of me."

“He doesn't know what he's missing," the tall anthro replied with a smile. “I'll try - scheisse! Is that Andrea?"

Kay gasped. “I should have told you - one of the dogs was a Saluki. Is that your ex-girlfriend?"

Dane growled. “Yes. Yes it is." The gorgeous, long-furred Saluki was lying on her stomach, reading a book in the bright sunlight, a straw sunhat covering her head, but not hiding her long, silky ears at all. She was white except for a red-brown glow along her flanks and in her ears and tail. Kay might be an AI, but there was no denying Andrea's impeccable, practiced beauty, and for far more than the first time, the four-legged Golden Retriever wished she had a flattering, anthro body.

“I could speak to her in your stead," K9AI suggested, wagging her tail.

Dane shook his head. “I might be able to get more from her. As much as I hate it, I'd better go talk to her."

Kay nodded glumly and said, “I'll talk to the couple just up the beach, then."

They were no more useful than anyone else, but Kay was distracted trying to record the soft conversation behind her. Sometimes Dane would raise his voice, and sometimes Andrea would howl some sort of affront, but mostly the two spoke quietly. Kay glanced their way several times, the back of her neck bristling at the casual way the Saluki leaned back on her beach towel, her bare body shown in all its glory to the brindle Great Dane. Body heat sensors indicated that his body temperature was rising faster than the sunlight exposure would indicate, though Kay couldn't predict if he were still aroused by the woman, or if their constant bickering accounted for the difference.

When he was finished talking to Andrea, Kay did note that he came straight to her. Kay asked, “How'd it go?"

“Might have been more fruitful to talk to the three ladies over there again. She's still a colossal bitch, and she didn't know anything useful about our little 'mutant' problem. Let's hope the others are having a little more success."

They were not.

Dane pointed to the next beach goers - the two lynx mutants Kay had mentioned. “Me or you?"

“You can - I hate cats," Kay grumbled. She instead went to talk to an elderly couple.

When Dane approached the cuddling lynxes, his sharp ears picked up that they were doing a little more than cuddle. The mutants were mixed with a small animal's DNA, and the female among them had gotten it a bit more than the male. He was about four foot, five inches, but she stretched only about four feet, and in a different light, might have even passed for an actual lynx, her mottled fur and tufted ears so on model that you could almost overlook her ability to walk upright and grab things with her paws.

They were arm in arm, with the girl licking her boyfriend's face. “Come on Diedrich," she said in German. “Who cares if they notice - it's a nude beach."

Dane realized that, strangely, these two were wearing swimming suits, the girl a tightfitting pink bottom, and the male large, rectangular trunks. Especially odd considering they were covered in fur. The sheepish young male replied, “I don't want people looking at us. Or looking at you."

“Jealous?" she grinned, sitting up and posing so that her small breasts jutted out as far as they might go for the little lynx.

“Stop that, Sofia," he gasped.

But she just growled, “Make me. Come on, be a man. Show them all that I belong to you."

“Y-you're always like this when you're in heat…" the lynx protested.

She just continued, “Throw me down and claim me, in front of everyone, like a real male."

“Entschuldigung, Leute. Darf ich einen Moment Ihrer Zeit haben?" Gate Dane asked, standing behind the two at his impressive six feet and three inches. From where they glanced up at him, blinking in the sun, it would be impossible not to notice that he, at least, had no need for swim trunks.

Sofia's eyes widened as she took the impressive mutant in. Scrambling upright, she stood only about as high as Gate Dane's crotch, much to Diedrich's chagrin. “Maybe you could help me," she suggested, a gleam in her eye as she gave her boyfriend side-eye. “My boyfriend's too shy to take off his trunks. You don't seem to have that problem."

While Diedrich opened his mouth to protest, Dane interrupted. “Ma'am, I'm really just here to ask a few questions."

The young lynx girl seemed offended by his use of a term for old ladies. “Tell him that no one's going to look at us just because our swimsuits are off. It's a nude beach!"

“Sofia, leave him out of this!" the male lynx hissed, crouched, his fur bristling.

Dane shook his head. “My mother taught me not to lie. He'd definitely draw some admirers, yes, but not as many as you."

The girl blushed. “You like what you see?" she said, posing for the large mutant. She got no verbal response, though Dane was clearly looking her over. She said, “Well, since Diedrich is too much of a pussy, maybe I need to upgrade to alpha dog…" The lynx stepped closer, reaching a paw out to twirl it in Dane's belly fur, just a half-dozen inches above his impressive, dark-brown sheath.

Dane held his breath, gazing down at her paw pad, nestled in his fur. He certainly got his share of casual sex, but that didn't make him immune to such a pretty offer. He had to bite his lip to keep from “showing", while Diedrich stood up and stamped his foot, which might have had more impact if he hadn't just sent sand spraying across the ground. “Sofia!"

Dane tried to use his normal voice, but it came out gruffer, the words hard to form. “I'm game if you are," he panted down at her, suddenly forgetting his mission, which was almost exactly the opposite. “Just...follow me to the showers and I'll give you what you need…" Despite his best efforts, his bright pink tip poked just out of his plump sheath.

The movement and color caught her sharp eyes. She gulped, her heat really getting to her. She said, “Why wait?" She slipped her paws to her bikini bottom, sliding it down right there in front of her outraged boyfriend, revealing her fur-covered crotch and cute little bobbed tail. She let the suit fall down around her feet. “Diedrich might learn something, and we'll be done long before the cops arrive."

Diedrich looked mortified, saying, “Sofia, stop that, this instant!"

She turned to her boyfriend, but that just meant she was facing away from the canine anthro. With a sly glance back, she hiked her rump, lifting her tail - legal, of course, at a nude beach. But what she was asking for certainly wasn't, even in Germany. Finally, she let the ruse go, chuckling despite her wholly inappropriate behavior, and saying, “Come on, Diedrich, I was just kidding. I'm not going to do it with a stranger in front of you. You can be such a moron!" She reached down to grab her swimsuit, her legs locked, easily flexible enough to touch her toes, that pretty little lynx rump not even three feet off the ground.

Dane growled. He didn't appreciate being used in some game, when he had a much more important task to focus on. But he somehow doubted the male lynx was the culprit. Rolling his eyes, he teleported.

Bamf!

He didn't give any warning or care, reappearing up the beach toward Kay, his abrupt departure sending sand spraying the two lynxes and even knocking her over onto all fours. But he didn't look back to see if she was okay. He strode over to Kay, brow wrinkled. “Any luck?" he said with a low voice.

Kay hadn't even started interrogating anyone. She'd caught sight of what was going on with the lynxes, and had watched the whole thing, her floppy ears pulled back. Now she had a dropped jaw. “I… uh…"

At least his erection had gone down. He said, “They were just wasting my time. And here we are, trying to protect these women! First I get called “doggy", then I talk to my ex, and now I'm treated like a pawn in the stupidest game of chess. It's hard to care what happens to them!"

Kay said, “They still don't deserve what's been happening here. Do they?"

The mutant rubbed his forehead. “I guess so."

K9AI was only as tall as the Great Dane's knee, so she couldn't exactly comfort him. She sniffed, though, and Dane had to wonder how much she had heard, seen, or could smell about his interaction with Sofia. Sometimes it was hard to have a robotic brain as a friend. She glanced around the beach. “I may have a few leads," she admitted, “though not from talking to people. I'm scanning for anything out of the ordinary that might be missed by human or mutant eyes. Nothing definitive, yet."

Dane knelt next to her, reaching her height, and he ran his palm under her chin. “I don't doubt you'll catch the guy, Kay. Sooner than Max or Vicky anyway." With her helmet and flight suit, she was hard to pet, but that was how she liked it. Too many people on the street thought they could put their hands all over her.

“Yeah…" she said, shivering at his touch. “Let's reconvene with the others and see what they've found."

Which wasn't much. They found Maximus and Victory sitting at the bar, enjoying the very plush seating on their naked butts. Kay and Dane, of course, always had a plush seat on their rumps. Maximus was nursing a warm mug of beer, while Vicky laughed at one of his bad jokes. Kay hopped up as carefully as she could, but missed the stool by a few inches, only to be saved by Dane, who grabbed her and placed her nicely on the seat next to Max.

Kay asked, “Found anything?"

The Nylari was the first to answer, nodding her head to Heinrich, the bartender. “I thought it best to let the bartender in on our investigation, but he hasn't seen anything out of the ordinary."

Heinrich said, “I am a yuge fan ov VEEGEEL," excitedly in English, with a thick accent. “But eef vhat you say ees happeneeng, I haf not seen eet." He looked over at Gate Dane with what could only be described as glee, the local hero in his bar. “Tree monz ago, you -"

Dane hopped up onto the stool next to Vicky, and interrupted, “You, uh, want an autograph?"

Heinrich's eyes went wider than Kay when she was begging for dinner. “You mean eet? Viz, viz all of you?"

Max laughed. “Of course, bud. I know we're not as famous as, say, The Lightning Bolts, so it's nice to find a fan."

Together, they signed a paper menu for the bar, and presented it to a thrilled Heinrich, who almost didn't notice his other guests waiting for drinks. “Sorry, I haf to go."

After the man left, Dane said, “I've gotten no good info from the beachgoers, either. Kay said she had a potential lead?"

All eyes were on the artificial intelligence now, who looked down. “Nothing above a 65% likelihood yet. But there's definitely something weird going on at this beach."

Victory said, “How do you mean? Everything has seemed completely normal."

Kay shook her head. “I'm detecting physical anomalies that are unexplainable by modern science."

Max said, “Like a black hole?"

Dane added, “A pregnancy black hole?"

The A.I. sighed. “Not dense space. Dense time. Look, I need to take additional measurements before I can be more sure."

Dane reached over the bar and grabbed a mug, pouring himself a beer with a nice thick head while the bartender was distracted. “And what'll the rest of us do while we wait?"

“Just...enjoy the beach," Kay explained, glancing up and down Gate Dane as he swivelled the barstool and leaned back against the bar, his legs spread more than enough to display his plump sheath to the world.

Dane took a swig of his ill-gotten beer. “Doubt musclehead and the psychic alien babe will have any trouble relaxing." He winked and looked over at the two, who were already taking Kay's permission to heart, with the Nylari hopping backwards onto Max's lap and curling up against the huge human, like a ripped Santa and his alien elf.

“This 'musclehead' has the hottest psychic alien babe on the planet," Max taunted. “What have you got?"

Dane shrugged. “I'm not looking to be tied down. Fast, casual suits me. What do you say, Vicky? Wanna take a time out from Maxy and find out what it really means to be tied?"

The Nylari kissed Max on the cheek and said simply, “Not even for a second."

“Fair enough."

Kay grumbled, still cross from her companion's flagrant beer theft. “You know I don't like breaking the law, Dane."

“C'mon, Heinrich always comps me free beers. What did I tell you about cheating, Kay?"

“It's only against the rules if you get caught. I'll have to disagree with you, though, and theft is a little more serious than writing answers on your paw. At least my designer gave me leeway in whether to enforce the law, or I'd spend most of my time yapping at jaywalkers," she chuckled. Dane had been a “good" influence in helping the canine creation relax a little from her rigid first impression. She continued, “But for once I won't chide you. My data readings will be more accurate if the three of you just act like you normally would. Just be you at the beach, Dane."

With another big gulp of beer, the large dog anthro grinned. “Gladly."

While Victory and Maximus flirted at the bar, and Dane finished two big mugs of German beer, Kay was keeping an eye, and a nose, ear, and several well-placed sensing probes on everyone. The beachgoers, her companions, the bartender, all sending constant readings and a flood of information to K9AI. The next time an anomaly occurred, she would catch it, and if her hunch was right…

“It's a nude beach, not an exhibition, guys," a slightly slurring Dane explained now that Vicky was sitting in Max's lap face forward. She had her breasts pressed up against his massive chest, her rump in perfect profile, including the cute little reptilian tail stub.

Victory kissed Maximus, then spared Dane a look. “Mind your own business," she said, then laughed and added, “I think there are some poop bags in the van."

Dane blinked. “You, too? I expect the dog jokes from Maximus. Yeah, well, fuck you."

The alien stood, straddling Maximus temporarily as she pushed herself out of his lap, saying, “Dane, I'm -"

But he was already gone. With a bamf! he disappeared and reappeared at the edge of the water, looking out over Lake Constance.

“- sorry. Fuck. He's already gone."

Maximus laughed. “Come on, it was a good joke. He'll be fine."

Vicky shook her head. “No, Max. I shouldn't have said that." She took a step toward Dane to apologize, but Kay stepped in front of her.

“Uh… I'll go talk to him." She forestalled Victory's next sentence with, “Don't worry, I'll tell him you didn't mean it. I think I know what I need to do."

With that, Kay left a befuddled Maximus and a concerned Victory at the bar, taking a deep breath and building up her courage as she checked on Gate Dane. The Golden Retriever sat down next to Dane, and rather than stay six feet up, he sat too, and they talked, with the large male sticking his feet in the water. After a minute or two, he convinced Kay to get her feet wet. Retrievers were bred to love water in order to retrieve ducks, but most of her executive functioning was controlled instead by her green helmet. At least her designer had had the foresight to make her braincase water proof!

Wagging her tail, she glanced back at Gate Dane and spoke again, picking up her paws as they sank into the wet sand. At his encouragement, she finally let herself loose, her collar retracting her flight suit. The green cloth got sucked into the circular device, leaving her as naked as she ever got - which wasn't a lot, considering her long, retriever fur. She sat and talked a bit more, then finally hugged him, nuzzling his neck. When she walked back into the water, he smiled, and -

Bamf!

He reappeared at the bar. “Sorry, Vicks," he said quickly.

Eyes wide, the Nylari said, “I'm the one who should be sorry."

He shook his head though. “Normally I would have taken that joke fine, but I talked to my ex and… well, sorry I flew off the handle. Kay says she needs to collect a bit more data before she can make a convincing case, but since the cameras are set up, we can head out now."

Max said, “I'd hope we could solve it right away, but if Kay's got a lead, let's follow up on it when she's -"

“Ready! I've got all the evidence I need to explain what's been happening." Everyone turned to look at K9AI, who'd just arrived from the beach, naked, with wet feet. “Dane, can you start up the car? It's currently 88 degrees inside, so you could get the AC running."

“So soon?" Dane said, glancing around. “Max, can you toss me the keys?"

“Sure," the man shrugged, throwing the mostly empty rental key ring through the air.

But Kay intercepted, jumping up to grab the keys in her teeth. “Mmrorry," she apologized. “Frorce oo hrabt."

Dane reached down to Kay. “No worries."

But Kay didn't give the keys up, taking a step back.

“Kay, I need those keys. I can't even get in the car, much less start it."

Kay spat the keys onto the ground. Looking up at her friend, she said, “Is that so?"

Dane paused uncomfortably long before kneeling to pick up the keys. “I'll be right back," he said, and then he disappeared in a spray of sand, teleporting forty feet up to the parking lot. They could hear the car open and start in the distance, and then with a second bamf the Anthro reappeared, wearing his clothes once again, and holding Max and Vicky's.

They got dressed and headed up to the car, which was getting colder by the minute, but as everyone started to load into the van, Dane said, “Hold up for a second - there's something I gotta do."

Two teleports and two seconds later, he was back in front of them, hopping in and buckling Kay into her car seat. The Golden Retriever, back in her flight suit, rubbed her cheek against him and smiled. Victory was a bit more cognizant than VIGIL's leader, so she whispered to Max before he got in the driver's seat, “Something happened between those two."

Max just shrugged.

On the ride home, Kay explained in great detail that the data she collected all leads to one most likely theory. “There is a gloryhole in the bathroom area, and monitoring average temperature and scent particles in the air, it is frequently used, even while VIGIL was there. The women getting pregnant were most likely engaging in risky sex and then lying about it to their significant others. The odds are in the upper 99th percentile."

Victory gasped.

Maximus just laughed. “Of course it was just a freaky German sex addiction. That checks out."

Dane didn't even try to defend his fellow German people, too busy smiling at Kay, his own tail wagging for once. He had known she might catch him. Maybe he had been counting on it? But he never thought for a million years that the robot dog would lie to protect him. He'd been prepared to lose everything.

Instead, he gained his first real connection and a friend he just might actually dare to trust.

THE END?

The Aftercredits Scene – Not So Great Dane

Bamf! Dane stepped out of the time stream, grinding his teeth. “We don't talk to mutants" he mimicked, in a high pitched voice. Leave it to blonde German women to enforce racial purity! He glared down at the three of them, the mother kneeling, one girl flat on her back, the other flat to the towel, her ass in the air. Frozen, unbreathing, but still warm, like the rest of the universe, at least from Dane's perspective. Of course time was still flowing, but he'd rejoin just where he'd left, and the only thing that changed would be his position.

And his “parting gifts" to the three fair-skinned assholes. With a malicious grin, Gate Dane rested a paw on the top of the mother's head, just about the right height. He risked sliding her chin down with a single finger, opening that impertinent mouth just a little wider even though he knew that would nudge her just slightly off the flow of time. The more he moved her, the more time would pass for her. So he just had to make sure he didn't move her too much.

Licking his lips, Dane stepped closer, lining up his plump, brown sheath with her mouth. This is going to be fun…