Week 4
#4 of The Wish of an Angel
Week 4
Waking up, Wolfer rolled over, opening his eyes slightly, to look into his lover's eyes. Seeing nothing, he tore his eyes open with a start. But then, remembered that the feline had gone back home again. He lay there alone in his bed, remembering what it had felt like to wake up finding his lover with him. He smiled to himself, basking in the memory of that weekend, and how much fun he had had. How complete he had felt, with Niv being with him, and in his life. He couldn't stop smiling, as he got ready to go to school.
Indeed throughout the entire day, he couldn't stop smiling. Feeling the warm blanket of bliss enveloping him, sending him off into a land of his own; daydreaming about being with his tiger again. He got told off several times in class too, as he couldn't stop talking about him, and telling his friends about this recent development in his life, all the while waiting for Niv to call him. By the end of the day he felt a slight feeling of paranoia settling in, due to the lack of contact he had had from the cat. The slight sting of fear making itself known as he settled into bed and fell eventually drifted off.
Waking up Niv rolled over, lazily spreading and stretching over his bed purring and yawning loudly as he remembered that he was back at his own place. But he soon remembered that he was meant to be meeting up with his ex for the day. Throughout the day, Niv's thoughts of Wolfer faded like a dying fire; until, by the end of it, when his ex asked him if he wanted to go home and spend the night with him, Niv didn't refuse.
As they lay in bed together in the afterglow, Niv sighed and smiled happily. This was his life. He thought back to all the wonderful things he had managed to persuade his ex to buy him, and relished the thought of all the things he was yet to get.
As the week wore on, Wolfer began to grow increasingly more frustrated from not having heard anything from Niv. He started to doubt the authenticity of his feelings. Thinking that maybe it was just an infatuation after all. He became angry towards himself for ever believing that it could been true, telling himself that someone like Niv would never develop feelings for someone like him. But still he hoped, and still he believed. Despite all the doubts and negative feelings he held, he still thought that there must be some good reason for the lack of contact he was getting.
Niv on the other hand, went out again on Tuesday. And, as Wednesday drew to a close, he had already engaged in another, new meaningless relationship. But when he awoke on Thursday, feelings of guilt started to take a hold on him again, slowly seeping into him. He tried shrugging them off and ignoring them, but they grew and began to overpower him. He had to go through with it now; he realized that he had been stupid, and just how much he needed the Wolf. He wanted to give up his entire life and start afresh, get a proper job, go to a college, get a qualification, and make an honest living for himself. All for the wolf whom he had fallen in love with.
He dumped his boyfriend, and called up Wolfer and apologized for the lack of contact, but explained that he had been very busy, and that it wouldn't happen again. He said that he would come up straight away. Wolfer was overjoyed at hearing from his tiger again, and was immensely looking forward to seeing him again a few hours later. As he travelled up to Wolfer, Niv felt in his heart that he was doing the right thing. He couldn't explain it to himself, but he just knew that this was the right thing to do. When they got to Wolfer's house, they just spent the rest of the evening snuggling close, basking in the bliss that their love for each other was creating. Eventually they fell asleep.
As they woke up, Wolfer moved to lie on top of Niv. He looked into the Cat's eyes, and saw that something was troubling the tiger.
'What's wrong?' he asked.
'Hmmm? Oh, nothing's wrong.' he replied, smiling, and kissing his wolf gently.
'Are you sure, because there seems to be something bothering you?' he slowly rubbed his paw over Niv's chest, nuzzling into it.
Niv sighed, and looked deeply into Wolfer's eyes.
'Two years ago, I fell in love with this guy. I he was my first ever love. I wanted to be with him so badly, and he treated me so well. Until about 4 months into the relationship, when he my demands for emotional feelings was obviously too much for him. He bought me things, and bought me things. And I never said no, because yea, sure I loved getting things from him, but he wanted to buy me stuff. As a result I turned colder and colder, shutting my feelings off. Locking my heart away, so that I wouldn't have to go through the depression he put me in as a result of his lack of showing me his emotions. The most intimate we got was having sex. And most of the time I didn't even want it. I just said yes, because it was the only way I knew to make him happy. I felt like his whore. In the end I dumped him, and traded it in for the glamorous life I lead.
He made me fear love, because I was scared that I would only get hurt if I let myself fall for someone. But when I met you, you affected me in ways I know not how. You showed me that it's stupid to live life as coldly as I have.
But you...you showed me to believe in love again. To have faith in it. To have faith in you. And I want to show you how much you mean to me, and have changed me. I want to get a job. Turn my life around. I love you. Please, let me show you how much you mean to me?' he looked at Wolfer, smiling hesitantly, looking pleadingly at him. So unlike the big, strong, confident cat that the wolf was used to.
But Wolfer looked down into Niv's eyes, with a gentle kindness that could only come from an angel, and whispered softly.
'Shhh. It's OK. I understand. And it doesn't matter, that's in the past. And if you're willing, then let's work together for the future. Towards our future.' he smiled and kisses Niv gently. Niv smiled tentatively, but turned his head away, feeling ashamed of his past. Feeling that this wolf, who was clearly better than him in every way, deserved better than him. Wolfer looked at him for a moment, before carefully rolling them over, so that they were lying next to each other. He pulled Niv close to him, holding him close, and with a gentle whisper that caressed the tiger like a warm summers breeze, said,
'My tiger?'
Niv turned around, and looked the wolf deeply in the eyes for a moment, before smiling, and replying.
'Yes. Your tiger.'
And they kissed. Together and they both knew that there wouldn't be anything that would bring them apart. Because their love would shine and guide them through anything; holding them together no matter what.
The End