FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

'am i doing everything i can to make it known im alive... well.. other then my band, what have i done?' "fuck my life." i said putting my paws over my eyes. i woke up next to hayden in our bed room. it has been about 2 months after the accident. 'i wonder what happened that night, was i awake i just thought it was leon. hmm, so many fricking questions and i have to have the only dog in the world who wouldn't tell me what happened..." i looked at hayden as he slept and slapped him across the chest. he bounced up and yelped then looked at me and stuck his tongue out.

"can i help you mutt." he said with a little bit of anger.

"tell me what the hell happened." i said growling lightly.

"i told you, its best that you don't know... what you don't know, wont hurt you. hon im sorry but this would leave a mental scar on you for the rest of your life." he said and hugged me tightly.

"hon... im already mentally insane... add to it please, i beg you puppeh." i hugged him tightly and licked his nose."i actually think i know what happened..."

his eyes shot wide and looked at me. "you-you do?"

i nodded and told him about my dream about leon. as i talked his eyes went huge, the purple eyes of my mate seemed to be filld with sadness and anger."so how spot on was i."

"i-you-gah-fuck.... how the hell did you- i don't understand you. how the hell can you dream something that happened to you, yet you cant remember it. but for that dream?" he said shaking his head trying to figure it out.

"im a fucked up shepherd?" i shrugged,"i don't know."

"well anyways... how is your throat doing? are you wounds healed up good enough for you to do things again?"

i nodded and licked his nose. "im actually ganna go out for a walk. i really need to think something though." i said and patted his leg. i put on blue jeans and a black hoodie and walked to the door.

"ok hon, be careful.. see you soon, love you." he said.

i waved to him. "i will, love you too." i walked out the room and down the hall, to the stairs then out the main door. i started down a stone path, the sun rise slipping thought the trees. i smiled and smelt the fresh air. 'man... why haven't i ever smelt this before. im always running around with hayden, maybe that's why. or maybe because i just haven't stopped and put a hold on life and looked around. ever since me and hayden got married we just been going around having fun. never really took time for myself. i should do that... also get into something other then just drumming.... wood making?... naa im good at building but i hate the table saw.' i cringed as a flash back of me and DJ in wood shop. i was cutting some wood and the thing got cought, i realized right away and quickly got out. right when i feel back on a safety bar the piece of wood flew you and crashed into the wall that was right behind me. if i didn't move that would have gone right though me. 'fuck, that was scary as hell.. maybe i could go into engineering? im good at building... and fixing. but i want to do something that i am not good at. i want to learn more. i know lighting, pyro, wood build, engineering, drumming, producing... fuck...' i started at a nice jog around the campus. "computer? naa. publishing?.. hell no. writing?... nope only SoFurry and that's it. hmmm someone who helps with young teens and Depression?" i stopped to get my breath a little.'hmm, i want to make a difference in a life. save someone who needs help. do something i wouldn't do. but im to shy to actually do that. im not a social pup... but it will help me pick up something knew... might as well try it.' i turned and started off to the main office. it took me about 10 minutes to get there. then again, i didn't run the whole way. about 95% of the way there (at least from what i thought) i started walking. apparently i stopped jogging way to soon because it took me 6 minutes to get there.

i rang the bell and a skunk jumped up from under a desk and walked over and smiled at me. "hello. how may i help you?" she said in a happy tone.

"hello." i smiled, "i am wondering if you have something sorta extra curricular that i can take to help with teens who are depressed."

she putt her paw on her chin. "hmmm. let me go check sweetie. be right back." she scampered off into the back room only to re-appear a minute later with 3 folders and a small booklet. "here you go. but may i ask why? you don't seem like the type of guy who would do this."

i smiled, "and that is why im doing it. i want to do something i normally wouldn't do. i want to help someones life, possibly save a life. i was recently in a..." i cleared my throat and shivered. "accident and it had me wondering, what did i want to do if music didn't help me. so i thought, why not do something i care about but never would actually do." i smiled.

the skunk looked at me in awe, "wow, that is a good reason." she smiled. "well i hope it all go's good for you. i also hope you have fun." she waved and i waved back and smiled. and started walking away. "OH!" i looked back with a eyebrow raised. "tell hayden that lea martin said hi, he will know who i am. also have a great day Jeremy, gah you two are so cute." see squeaked happily and smiled.

i smiled and waved." thank you have a great day your self."

i started to jog when i heard. "NO RUNNING IN THE HALL'S" right after i heard that i heard lea's voice rise. "oh, shut up smith." i chuckled and kept jogging out the main doors.

at this time their were more kids walking around getting to class. i passed up Seth and Aaron and waved to both of them. they waved back then started jogging to their first class of the day. i passed leon and patted his back. as i got closer to the dorms i saw hayden outside looking at the sky and smiling. i ran up and turned quickly back-stepping and sat down next to him. "hey hon." i kissed his lips.

"hey love. whats with the folders?" he asked taking one. "suicide and depression?" he looked up at me.

"hon, im not ganna kill myself, i have you. also why would i want to leave you." i kissed his cheek making him blush. "i wanted to do something new. everyday its sorta the same old thing. i want to sorta make a difference in someones life." i looked though the folders names with hayden. Suicide And Depression, Gay Teen's and Depression and Teen Depression. "im thinking about doing G.T.A.D and Teen Depression." i said and opened them up and started to read some of the papers inside.

"gah, i have such a caring dog." he licked me ears making me smiled and lean into him. my eyes stayed on the papers reading all the info that it would give me.

"OH! hon lea martin says high." when i said that name his eyes went wide with happiness.

"Ant lea... wait, how do you know her?" he asked giving me a puzzled look.

"i had to fuck a lot of people to get her name." i smiled and he gently punched my arm. "ok, she works in the front office. shes the one that helped me find all this stuff." i gestured to the folders.

"oh, really? hmm. guess i have to make a run to the office and say hi. i haven't seen her in the longest time." he said leaning back and putting his paws behind his head and leaned against the building.

"hon put your arms down. your killing the wild life. and my nose." when i said that he looked at me wide eyed again.

i fell over laughing. "if only you could see how cute you look. and i was kidding, god hon you know i love your natural smell." i smiled and kissed his lips. "im sorry hon, love you." i said smiling.

"yeah, yeah, love you too" he chuckled and pawed at my nose. "so what do you want to do now pup?" he said rubbing my back.

"i have no idea. but we have class soon let me get into my shower then we can go." we both got up and walked up to our dorm. once we got in i quickly stripped and started to walk to the bathroom. hayden slapped my butt making me yip. i looked back at him and tackled him down and started hitting him with my tail. after a minute of laughing then nuzzling he licked me nose and pointed his nose to the shower and smiled. i walked in and took a quick shower cleaning all my fur quickly. i jumped out and walked out still sorta damp but nothing bad. i put on the blue jeans i wore on my jog and the hoddie with nothing under it. soon we both set out to our first class of the day.

"Ok kids, we are ganna do a new thing today." the raccoon smiled. "we are ganna be using a lot of fire with this so if you have a hoodie on you must, must, must take it off. that gos the same for and coats, jackets, or vests. ok now get with your lab groups and start." she smiled. all the kids got up and walked over with their group. Aaron, Seth, Hayden and i walked over. i left my hoodie on because i had no shirt under it. "Mr. Nelson... why are you not following my directions. NO hoodies." she said looking sternly at me.

"im sorry ma'am. but i didn't put a shirt on under this." i blushed lightly.

"im sorry Mr. Nelson but this is a rule i can not let you slip out of. please take it off." i sighed and walked over to my seat and pulled off my hoodie. right when i did i felt all the eyes on my. i whimpered and put my ears back and blushed lightly. all the girls were looking at my six-pack and the muscle on my arms. i could have sworn i heard one of them go 'dam hes sexy' as i walked by.

as i walked over hayden pulled me aside and whispered into me ears. "looken sexy hon." we both chuckled as and turn to see aaron and seth looking in awe of my upper body. hayden quickly kissed my lips making seth and aaron look around like they did nothing. "dam right, mine!" hayden said chuckling. i blushed and rubbed his back and we got to work. the lab was simple but for the fact the teacher couldn't get the gas to work. i walked over and knelled down and got the thing started. she said thank you and smiled. i could tell she was looking over my chest and and muscles and i turned around and walked back to my group.

"i think the teacher just checked me out." i said. their was a moment of silence then we all started laughing and continued with the lab. we were the first group done, once we awnserd the rest of the questions i walked over and put on my hoodie. i could ear a few girls sigh. hayden looked at me a grinned. i looked at him and cocked my head as if to say 'say it i will tackle you and hit you with a book.' he smiled more then took my packet and turned it in for me.

as soon as he left the head cheerleader walked up and rubbed her paw around my neck and sat in my lap. "hey sexy, you have a girlfriend?"

i stared at her wide eyed. "n-no."

"ill be yours for you." and lifted her off my lap as hayden walked over. i pulled hayden down into my lap and kissed his lips. "woow,woow,woow... your gay?"

"yup." i smiled and held hayden against my chest. "meet my boyfriend, hayden." hayden nodded and licked my nose.

"ok you two. stop the P.D.A" Ms, rose said smiling.

"hmm. all the cute/hot guys are gay. well anyways im chloe." she extended her paw smiling. i shook her paw then hayden did.

"nice to meet you, im Jeremy and this is my husband Hayden."

when i said that her eyes went wide. "wait..... your a freshmen in college and your married?"

me and hayden looked at each other then back at her and nodded together.

"how do you know you guys well be with each other forever?" she asked and sat down.

"well, the first time we met was one of my bands concerts. he stayed after to watch me clean up. or just to watch my ass, not sure." hayden blushed and looked away making me and chloe chuckle. "but when i notice him i jumped down off the stage and started talking to him. we gave him a ride home.. next day i kissed him. and bout 5 months later we were married. sure we could have waited. but i wanted this dog to my self." i chuckled and nuzzled haydens neck.

"awe, you guys are so cute." she chuckled and flailed her arms. "now only if their was a straight guy like you two."

"ha! good luck with that." hayden said making as laugh.

"crap group needs me.. i hope i see you guys around." she said and got up waving to us.

"you will." we both said and waved back smiling. Aaron, Seth, hayden and i talked for the rest of the class witch seemed to fly by. the final bell rang and everyone got packed up and started walking to the door. i waved to Ms. Rose and she waved back. me and the others walked to our dorms talking the hole way there. as soon as i knew it me and hayden were sitting on the bed nuzzling and doing some homework.

"... 4n+75/4 - 93n (times) 3 = 4.34534n.... true or fals- that the fuck is this shit?" i said looking at my math homework.

"haha! have fun with it." hayden said chuckling and licked my ears. as i circle false.

"god i hate math." i said as i finished the last problem only to have to write a lab write up for the lab we did today. i brought out my laptop and started working on it. hayden took out his and worked on it as well. about 2 hours later we both finished and sank into each others bodies murring loudly together. i soon feel asleep only to be woken up by my laptop going off to 7 Days To The Wolves by Nightwish. i quickly turned it off and looked over at hayden who was still sleeping. i kissed his nose and left a note on the T.V that said "going to drumline meeting. will be home soon. love you!" and walked out closing the door gently. i jogged to the band room were the other 7 members of drumline were.

"sorry that i am late." i said picking up my tenors.

"no problem Jeremy, just don't make it a habit." John O said.

"trust me wouldn't miss drumline for the world." everyone laughed and we started out with warm ups (Aspen Taps).

"ok good job you guys!" John said. "now lets start with mvt 1 of the show." everyone one got set then we played thought the 2 movements that we played. "great job guys! you are all sounding amazing. keep up the good work." john said. after about 3 hours of playing he told us we could all leave. i packed my drums up then walked out. i started another jog to my dorms. the cold air felt nice going though my sweat dampened fur. soon i reached my room and found hayden playing Guitar Hero Worriers Of Rock. i sat down beside him and watched him play. after about 4 songs he turned of the system and we laid in bed together. every night i spend with him, feeling his warmth, softness, and love make me happy.

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OK im really sorry how bad my last sotry went >.< i was not feeling good. but im feeling much beter now. i put effort into this AND I WAS AWAKE!! unlike the last chapter o.o. i hope this makes up for how bad the last part was!!! subscribe, fav, comment (almost put like!) and hope chu like it!!!