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Fairwood: Chapter 1

The Start

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"Kevin! What the fuck were you thinking? Are you insane?" A black wolf yelled at a gray one. They marched down the roads of their hometown, the black following the gray.

"Oww, C'mon...." Kevin shot back angrily and opened a fresh pack of cigarettes. His other paw searched in his pocket for the lighter.

"You're about to smoke? Are you completely nuts?"

"What's your problem with me, Bill?" Kevin turned around and looked into Bill's brown eyes. The black wolf was taller than him, his deep brown eyes stared into Kevin's emerald green ones with anger.

"My problem is your behavior." Bill yelled furiously. "Stealing cigarettes? And.....and since when do you smoke? Do you even know what that shit does to your body?"

Kevin just lit the cigarette.

"Moron." The black wolf grabbed the cigarette from the gray's paw and threw it away. Kevin gave a warning growl to the black wolf.

"You do that again and...."

"And what? You hit me? You kick me in the guts and rob me? Wait you haven't done that ....yet." Bill answered angrily, his voice and words made the gray wolf flatten his ears.

Silence creeped into the street. Everything was still around them, nothing moved just the leaves rocked back and forth in the light breeze.

"I would never do that to you." Kevin said and stepped closer to his best friend.

"It's a shame you had done things to others. It doesn't matter if you make an exception with me." Bill said and looked away from the gray wolf.

"Look, it was nothing. Just a small pack....."

"Just a small pack? Are listening to yourself? You stole! From another fur!" Bill interrupted Kevin immediately. His anger rose again as the gray wolf made a face. The black wolf turned around and walked away from Kevin. The gray wolf stood silent for a second then ran after his best friend.

"Bill! Bill wait." The black wolf turned back and Kevin felt as if his stomach turned into knots. The black wolf's eyes were so sad.... Kevin stopped a few feet away from Bill and the uncomfortable silence returned.

It was hard to even look into Bill's eyes. Kevin felt like the guilt of the whole world fell on his shoulders. His ears lay flat, his tail dropped numbly between his legs.

"Please." Kevin spoke so quietly only the black wolf heared him.

"What, Kev?" Kevin's heart fluttered with joy. He loved when Bill called him like that.

"Don't go....don't leave." Kevin wanted to say: don't leave me. But that would have made the whole conversation weird, it would have been embarrasing.

"And? What if I don't? You stop stealing? You stop being such a violant..."

"I'm not violant."

"Really, then what do you call the stuff you've been doing lately? Making friends?"

"You don't understand......" Kevin protested.

"That's true. I have no fuckin' idea why you act like that. So please do tell me why the hell you got into a fight with that cat?" Kevin's hackles rose and his tail dropped even lower.

"That damn cat laughed into my face, I taught him a lesson."

"That doesn't give you the right to..."

"He badmotuhed You, Bill! YOU! I stood up for You!" Kevin snapped and grabbed Bill's paw as he saw the black wolf turn away from him again.

"Me? You got into it ....because of me?"

"Yes." Bill looked surprised and his ears flattened as Kevin took hold of his right paw.

"What did he say that pissed you off?" Bill asked curiously but didn't pull his paw away.

"He .....said stupid things. It doesn't matter." Kevin shrugged and let Bill's paw fell back to his side.

"No....tell me. What did he say? It must have been really stupid if he made you push him up to the locker and almost break his arm."

"He accused you of being gay." Kevin said bluntly.

"What?" Bill laughed but his flattened ears couldn't hide his embarrasement.

"Yeah, I told him to shut the fuck up and after that he said we must be together if I stood up for you."

"That little prick desreved it." Bill sighed and gave a weak smile to Kevin. The gray wolf grinned back in return. "But why the hell did you steal? Your mother gives you twice as much money as I get from my dad."

"I won't do it again. Kirk dared me to steal cigarettes. So that's all. Don't worry, I won't ever do it again." Kevin tried to sound reassuring but Bill's expression showed everything but not convenience.

"A dare. You stole because Kirk dared you..... and here I thought you just did it for yourself. A DARE KEVIN?! You have almost been expelled last month. You learnt nothing from that? One little mistake and they throw you out like shit." Bill was furious again, his brown eyes that seemed to shine with kindness now shone with anger.

"I don't care about school. My mother and Jacob doesn't really want me to go on higher education so it doesn't matter." The gray wolf said softly and awerted his gaze from Bill.

"Of course it matters. You can't get expelled." Bill said and nudged his friend on his shoulder playfully, trying to lighten his mood. Bill always found strange how quickly his anger vanished if it was about Kevin. A small smile from the gray wolf, an unexpected joke that made Bill laugh like a maniac was enough for his anger to simply fly away. Kevin's sad face and flattened ears were enough for Bill to let go of his anger. He wasn't angry at Kevin, but more the furs in school. He was mad at Kirk for daring Kevin even though Kirk knew damn well that Kevin would accpet the dare. And Bill was angry that Hugh, the cat was suspicous. Bill took great effort to keep his sexuality a secret, but he had no idea how the cat could have figured it out. After all, there weren't even rumors about him but suddenly he was badmouthed by the fuckin cat.

"So you don't smoke then?"

"Of course not. I just wanted to know what it is like." Kevin answred, his ears perked up a bit. "I don't need this crap." And with that Kevin threw the whole pack away.

"What about the lighter?" Bill asked playfully. Kevin took the silver object out of his pocket and the sunshine reflected on it.

"I like it. It's kinda cool, you know." He clicked the lighter and a a small flame lit up. The gray wolf shut the lid and the flame died by the lack of oxygen.

"You're not a pyromaniac, are you?" Bill asked carefully, a small smile played on his muzzle as he looked into Kevin's emerald eyes.

"No, dude. It's kinda useful. If there is a power outage, or we got stuck in the wilderness and have no matches."

"Like last year?"

"Exactly." The two wolves laughed merrily and began to walk home.

"You know we should go somewhere today. I mean Jacob and mom will be at home. I don't feel like sitting in my room whole night and listen to Jacob bitching about me or my mother playing the 'yes girl' for him." Kevin said darkly. He hated his home. He hated his mother and step-father. Jacob Anderson was a brown bear, a jerk and animal as a matter of fact. Kevin never understood why his mother left his father in the first place. Kevin could hardly see his father. The court allowed his father to see him every once in half a year and whenever they met they always watched a football match with Kevin's brother. The gray wolf loved his brother but Kevin envied Kyle so much. He wanted to be in his place, to live with his father.

"Well, it's Saturday. We could go camping on River side. But I don't know if dad would be okay with it...." Bill said.

"That would be great. Just the two of us or maybe your brothers if they want to come." Kevin said hopefully.

"Naaah, Sam is chasing some chick and Chris is sleeping over at his friend's house. But I gotta' ask dad."

"Sure." They slowly reached Kevin's house.

"I have twenty minutes before Mom and jerk comes home. Don't forget to ask your dad!" Kevin said and his keys jiggled in his paw.

"Okay, bye!"

Bill padded slowly towareds his home. He took out his cell phone, he got it for his birthday. It wasn't the most expensive thing but it was good for its use. Bill never understood why it was good to have internet on a phone, sure if you are a business man or some other important fur than it had some meaning but teens didn't need those stuff. He dialed his father.

"Hey Bill. I'm in surgery, make it quick." His father's deep, caring voice vibrated in the phone.

"Hi dad. Kevin and I are planning to camp on the river side. Just he and I. Are you okay with it?"

"When? And....wait just the two of you? It's dangerous out there."

"Dad....." Bill whined softly.

"No. River side is not as safe as you think."

"But dad.."

"No, that's my last word. Look Bill, you could camp....in our backyard."

"That would be ridiculous."

"Yes, but I won't let you go to River side. Umm, an intern is holding the phone to my ear so.... I can' talk too much. You can invite Kevin to sleep over and stuff but nothing else." Bill let out a small sigh that his father heared as well.

"Okay, dad. See you tomorrow. Bye."

"Bye, Bill." Scott Carson was about to say: I love you, son; but stopped himself. It wasn't because the O.R. was full of curious and utterly indescrete furs but Scott knew his sons were growing up, they didn't need him like they used to. "Okay, let's give Mr. Rourk his hand function back." The intern closed Scott's phone and handed a tenblade.

***

"Hey, Kev. Your mom and jerk were fine with you sleeping over?"

"Yeah, Jacob quite liked the idea. He only loves me when I'm not around."

"The best part of it that you feel the same way about him, isn't it?"

"You're joking, right? I hate him not matter what." Bill just hummed in response. Kevin set his backpack in the corner of Bill's room and looked around. It was strange that he loved being in Bill's house so much. Kevin never slept so good and peacefully at home as he did at Bill's place. The Carson family always welcomed him with open arms, they were almost like the family he always wanted. It wasn't the same feeling, though.

"So, what should we do tonight?"

"Dunno, we could catch a movie, play video games or somethin'. Bill said softly and surpressed a whimper as he watched Kevin bend over to put something into his bag. The gray wolf's tail moved back and forth and Bill thought for a second that Kevin was teasing him. The sixteen year old gray wolf was hot as hell. He was cute and had a body to die for. His gray fur made his muscles look even better...and his eyes... emerald green eyes, Bill always melted for them.

"A movie sounds good.....Bill, what's wrong?" The black wolf snapped out of staring openly at Kevin and blushed like never before. Bill felt his ears lay back and gulped quite loudly, Kevin looked curiously at his friend.

"Nah, everythin's is cool."

"Okay, I order some pizza with extra cheese."

"Cool."

Bill and Kevin watched some DVDs, played games, ate pizza and Bill felt happy. It was a feeling he had discovered recently. First it started with noticing small things about Kevin. How cute he was when he smiled, how good it was to spend time with him. It wasn't like before. The black wolf almost leapt out of his fur when Kevin called him to watch a movie together in the cinema last week. Bill felt stupid and happy in the same time. He was happy that he could spend more time with Kevin, and he felt unbelievibly stupid that he let himself think about it as a date. He had looked forward to it. No..... he had been damn excited!

"I'm wondering about this Hugh thing. Do you think he just wanted to piss me off?" Kevin asked suddenly and ate the last bite of his pizza.

"Maybe.....he really is a jerk sometimes, he might just wanted a figth." Bill replied carefully, he made sure his voice didn't quiver and his ears stood still.

"Maybe." Kevin repeated quietly, he gave another curious look to his friend then stood up and sat down at Bill's piano.

Bill's piano....it used to be his mother's. It was a great instrument, his mother used to play, but she had not touched the keys since she left. Jane Carson left her husband and three cubs when they were seven and six. It's been nine years. It was a boring autmn day, and by the time Scott picked his children from the school and kindergarden, Jane had left. Bill sat down next to his friend, the black wolf smiled lightly as the pads of his paws touched the ebony keys. He loved to play the piano. And to tell the truth he knew damn well how to.

"Play something." Kevin requested.

"What?"

"Some ragtime, or that nocturne....I love that." Kevin spoke and grinned.

"So nocturne, huh...." Bill mumbled and began to play. When Bill played the piano it was like the whole word fell silent around them. There was no other thing Bill cared about in those moments....just the music. It was refreshing to shut the world out, he didn't have to think about life and other stuff. Then something did arouse his attention. He felt like being watched. Kevin was looking into his eyes and the gray wolf's expression was serious, almost worried.

"Umm...what, Kev?" Bill asked timidly.

"Nothing...just....you always smile when you play." Kevin's voice was almost like a whisper. Bill felt as his face turn hot with a blush and giggled lightly. It was childlish, a small sign of his embarrasement. He felt stupid and miserable again, he shouldn't think about Kevin that way. Honestly Bill thought sometimes that he betrayed their friendship by fantasizing about Kevin.

"Weeelll....thanks, I guess." Bill laughed a little but couldn't hold back his tail from wagging crazily.

"Dude....it's hot in here." Kevin said unexpectedly and took his shirt off. His white and green tank top landed on the sofa with one swift motion and Kevin stretched his arms above his head. Bill couldn't help but stare at Kevin. He was only a few inches away from the male he loved....and the chosen of his heart was just showing off his abs and pecs. Bill felt his sheat stirr a little and god he wanted to touch Kevin. Right there, right then. He wanted it badly. He often fantasised how soft Kevin's fur could be, how their fur would brush against each other in a warm, protective embrace......how Kevin's lips would feel if Bill kissed him.

He forget he was staring so openly at his best friend.

"Hugh din't lie ....did he?" Kevin's voice rang like a bell in the night.

"Huh....what?" Bill asked back, shaking his head. Then his eyes met Kevin's. The green orbs were full of surprise, amazement, anger......Bill all saw it.

"The damn cat was right......I almost broke his arm just because he said the truth...." Kevin whispered with so much pain and anger it made Bill whimper. "You're gay, aren't you?"

"Kev....I'm not gay....I don't know why Hugh said those things, but you gotta belive me..." Bill stammered, the thoughts and excuses flod his mind, he couldn't even make up a good lie.

"You're gay! At least admit it!" Kevin jumped up from his seat. He grabbed his shirt and put it on before Bill could even move. "How long have you been lying to me?"

"Lying? What? I'm not...." Bill couldn't finish because Kevin interrupted him with a deep growl.

"Tell me the truth! Are you fuckin' gay???" Kevin yelled that made Bill whimper again. The black wolf looked away from the gray one, not because he was ashamed of himself, but to hide his tears. "Say it Bill!"

"No...." Bill could hardly manage to hold back from crying.

"Say, it for fuck's sake!" Kevin yelled on top of his lungs and for his greatest surprise Bill stood up and slammed his fist into the piano. The black wood let out an echoing bang and everything was silent again.

"The truth....is I'm gay....." Bill whispered, he wasn't sure if Kevin heared it. "I'm a fag.....a damn taliraiser......and you know what? That's not all!" Bill finally turned around to look into Kevin's eyes. Angry green orbs stared into watery, sad ones. "I....I love you."

Young furs tend to put their hopes in one moment, in one fur. They are optimistic, they believe in fairytales, in santa and his freakin' reindeers. They belive in the story that everybody dreams and speaks of......that they could happily live ever after. Bill put all his hope into this moment....just like he red it in the stories. The poor but kind and good hearted hero gets his happy ending with the confession of his deepest secret. It was brave. Desperate. But Bill knew by the look on Kevin's face that the happy ending wouldn't come this time.

The black wolf watched without a word as his love left. Kevin even forgot about his backpack. But it didn't really matter. The black wolf sobbed once or twice before he buried his face in his paws......and he cried like never before.

***

Ringing.......odd, noises. That's what Bill woke up to. He felt drained and awful. The day his mother left was nothing compared to this. The ache in his heart made his body numb to other things. He didn't want to answer the phone. He didn't care at all who was calling him. It was getting dark. Bill have cried himself to sleep and the phone never stopped ringing. The black wolf slowly stood up and opened his cell phone.

His brother was calling him.

"Hey." Bill said weakly.

"Heyya, bro." Sam said happily. "I'm going to sneak into the seniors' party with the guys, wanna join?"

"No...I'll pass this time."

"Are you sure?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. I'm tired."

"Are you really going to camp in the backyard?" Sam laughed a little.

"What?"

"Dad told me that you and Kevin were going to camp there."

"No...Kevin .....his mother changed her mind. He had to leave."

"So you're alone?" The mere question almost made Bill cry. "Bill is everything OK?"

"Yeah, why?" Bill lied immediately. Pouring his problems via the phone on his brother was out of question. First of all Sam had no idea that Bill was gay. Second: Sam seemed to be a little homophobic.

"You seem kinda' cut up. Are you okey?" Sam's usually happy and cheery voice became caring and worried.

"Yeah, I'm just kind of sleepy."

"Okay.... Well see you tomorrow. Or maybe I'll go home earlier but don't expect me."

"Does dad know that you're going to party?"

"No, and he is on call tonight so he won't ever know about it. I hope."

"Be careful, Sam."

"Okay, bro. Bye."

Bill let out a long, shaky sigh. Sam and he were born in the same time. Well, almost. There were two minutes between their birth and their parents never told them who was born first. So there was no big brother for Sam and Bill, just Chris, their little brother. The youngest Carson boy was a year younger than his brothers.

Bill closed his phone and put it on his desk. He stood there for a minute, wondering what he should do. And for the first time in his life he had no idea what to do. He felt hopeless, abandoned. His tears started to flow on their well-known path in his fur. Bill didn't dare to look into the mirror but knew how horrible he looked right now. There was no need to confirm it.

The black wolf layed on his bed again. His own scent filled his nose even more as he buried his muzzle in his pillow.

Crying himself to sleep was easier this time.

***

Kevin spent the whole weekend in his room. His step-father didn't bother him. Maybe because he didn't get his tail out of his room just to eat. His mother didn't care to ask why he was staying at home either. At least they left him alone this time.

The gray wolf was laying on his bed, his paws behind his head, eyes fixed on the white ceiling. He haven't talked to Bill for almost a whole day now. It was a record. A cruel one. In this year there haven't been a day when he and Bill didn't talk to each other.

In the ocean of his anger and frustration, Kevin realized how lonely he was wihtout the black wolf. He couldn't go to his "parents" and talk about it, even if he could have he wouldn't. The subject was too.....awkward.

Kevin have never been so confused. The events of Friday existed only as a hazy blur in his memories. All he remembered was how hurt Bill seemed when he left. The look on the black wolf's face made him mad everytime it appeared before his eyes. He was mad at himself. That was the strange thing he couldn't understand. Why the hell was he mad at himself? He wasn't gay, he didn't say "I love you" to his best friend. And he certainly never hid anything from Bill. But he yelled at Bill, made him cry, and after he left another new urge entered his mind: a part of him wanted to go back and comfort the black wolf, hug him to his chest, tell him that everything would be fine even though he couldn't love him back....or could he? Kevin slammed his fist into his pillow as his brain realized what he just thought. The memories of Bill crying, standing over the black piano kept reapearing in his head. His mind seemed to care about only one thing: Bill.

To tell the truth Kevin coudn't even think about a good reason why he was angry. Okay Bill was gay. That wasn't something ordinary but seemed to be insanely unimportant if he thought about Bill being in love with him. Kevin saw gay couples. Not many, just a few and they weren't the kind of fagots everybody talked about. They weren't dressed in hidious clothes that everyone would throw up from. They weren't girlish like Kevin thought they would be. The first gay couple Kevin saw was fox and a coyote. Both dressed in a single shirt and jeans, there was nothing outstanding on them. Kevin thought they were just friends, hanging out at the mall, then Bill pointed out that they were rather affectionate. Kevin couldn't tell it first then everything came clean as the coyote put his paw in the fox' and squeezed it lovingly. Was Bill already gay when they saw them? Has Bill ever been straight? Everyting was so confusing.....Kevin wondered how long has Bill been hiding his sexuality. He looked at the clock on his desk. It was 11pm. The gray wolf went to brush his teeth then back to sleep.

Kevin layed awake the whole night. By the time the first rays of the sun reached his windows, Kevin realized he did the worst thing possible. He had to make it right. Or at least try it.

***

The first day of summer vacation didn't begin as Bill thought it would. As a start, the sunny and warm weather that have been drying the plants in the whole state, turned foggy and rainy. It was depressing. Bill spent his weekend lying in his bed, he told his family that he wasn't feeling well. His father switched into "doctor" mode and examined his son immediately. Of course he found nothing. Bill's family really started to worry on Monday, and Scott figured out that it must be something else than physical. But he was on-call again so he would have to wait late night to talk with his son seriously.

Sam went out with his brother to the mall so Bill was alone again. He walked to the kitchen to drink something when the doorbell rang. Bill put the bottle of orange juice on the counter and padded lazily to the door. He didn't bother to check through the window who the visitor was just opened the front door.

The waves of various emotions washed over Bill, leaving him completely frozen and speechless. He didn't expect this visitor.

"Hi, Bill." Kevin mumbled weakly. The gray wolf felt even more guilty as he saw Bill. The black wolf have never been in a shape like this. It wasn't about his appearance. He was finely dressed if you call a pair of boxers and a unbuttoned shirt 'fine'. His fur looked just as good and silky as always. But the wolf in front of Kevin wasn't even near the cheery and happy Bill, that Kevin called his best friend three days ago.

"May I come in?" Bill just took a step back to make space for the gray wolf and shut the door as Kevin was inside. They looked into each others eyes and the world seemed to slow down.

"I...I'm sorry Bill." Kevin said softly, his ears layed back and his tail almost curled around his right leg. "I'm sorry I let you down."

Bill blinked once, then opened his muzzle as if he wanted to talk then shut it again. The look of despair and pain didn't fade in his eyes.

"I'm really sorry. It was really stupid from me to run away like that. Can you forgive me? For running away?" Kevin offered weakly, his voice were dipped in plain guilt and hope for frogiveness. "And for the yelling part too. I....didn't want to hurt you."

Bill stood taken aback. The only thing he thought would never happen just did happen. And he could tell that he wasn't just dreaming it. A small, almost unnoticable smile sneaked on Bill's muzzle...then it grew into a much bigger grin.

"You really mean it?"

"I do." Kevin replied immediately.

"Of course I forgive you!" Bill said happily and a small fragment of the weight on his soul that has been crushing him lifted. "I thought for a moment you were going to hit me." Bill added.

"I told you I would never do that." Kevin said. He smiled back at his friend warmly and flicked his tail, pointing to the couch. "Do you wanna' sit down and ....talk?"

"Ye-yeah." It scared Bill a little as Kevin said the last word.

"Umm......." Bill mumbled somthing under his muzzle like "juice" or "orange", that Kevin couldn't understand as they sat down next to each other, both busy with avoiding each others gaze.

"I...know I hurt you, Bill....and I'm terribly sorry....but .....it was so sudden. I couldn't take it."

"And now?" Bill asked carefully and his eyes betrayed that he hoped for more than friendship.

"I......" Kevin closed his eyes for a moment."I need.....it doesn't matter to me that you're gay. It bothers me, but not the sexual part. You didn't tell me....you didn't trust me."

"I couldn't tell you. I just couldn't." Bill mumbled weakly and hung his head low, his paws fidgeted nervously in his lap. "I was scared that you would hate me...you don't hate me, do you?" Bill asked suddenly and raised his head.

"Of course I don't hate you. You're my best...." Kevin hesitated for a moment. "...you're my best friend."

Bill let out a relieved sigh and closed his eyes for a moment. He felt his tears coming again and the last thing he wanted was to be seen crying again.

Then a gentle paw brushed his muzzle, tenderly stroking his fur, and pulled Bill into a warm embrace. The black wolf couldn't hold back. His tears came running down his black fur, leaving trails. He sobbed and cried in his best friend's arms and Bill hugged back.

"I'm sorry Bill......I'm so sorry." Bill just hugged Kevin more desperately and softly nuzzled him. Kevin just smiled and nuzzled the back of the black wolf's neck. They have never done this before...they never hugged each other like this. It was full of affection and caring. Kevin have never shown this much love and affection to another fur in his life. He didn't know what it was between Bill and him. He called it friendship but it was more than he admitted to himself. He was still confused....but he was sure in one thing: he needed Bill.

"Thank you.....Kev." The gray wolf smiled softly and a pair of tears rolled down his cheeks as he blinked. He knew this was the right thing to do.

"Anytime, wolf....any time." Kevin and Bill held each other for a while, no nuzzles or caressing, just being together, enjoying the closeness of the other. Bill felt safe again. The black wolf suddenly realized he was fooling himself. Just like he had done so many times before. Kevin wasn't his mate. He wasn't even gay. But it still felt good even though the gray wolf just wanted to make him feel better. Bill let himself enjoy the closeness of his love and with a big, shaky sigh, he pulled away. Bill quickly wiped his tears away. Then as sudden and unexpected as Kevin showed up, Bill wanted to know why Kevin came back. He was happy that the other wolf wasn't mad at him for being gay but he needed to know what made Kevin come back to him.

"Kev.....don't get me wrong......I'm glad you're still friends with me after everything I said...but....why? ..... I'm grateful that you don't hate me, but....." Bill got lost in his thoughts and words." Umm....think that I said nothing. Ignore me!"

"You know black wolf....." That was a nickname Kevin used only rare occasions. "When I lay on my bed, in the middle of the night....thinking about you and what I did. That I hurt you....I realized you're everything I have. My so called parents doesn't love me or even pretend to care about me. I can barely see my dad and big bro'. Only you are here for me." Kevin took a deep breath and continued. "I don't want to loose you. And it's OK you're gay. I mean it's pretty new and I gotta get used to it but....I can handle that."

"And ...... what about I said before you ran off?" Bill put it bluntly, he didn't even think about what he wanted to say. His heart spoke instead of his mind. Kevin and Bill looked into each others eyes and the gray wolf just slowly shook his head.

"I can't love you back, Bill." Kevin said softly. "I'm not gay."

There is a ceratin look. A special expression that furs don't get to see much. It's the expression of resignation. Bill had that look in his eyes. His small smile, that was so unique and still common among the many heart-broken furs in the world, was dipped with bitter joy. Bill was happy that he got his best friend back. But his other half wanted to cry again. Still.....it was better. Friends without love.....he was grateful for that.

***

"You know, Bill......when I said I wanted to be your friend even though you're gay......I never thought you would actually bring me to the mall and have a ...." Kevin tralied off.

"Buttwatch." the black wolf finished.

"That......" Kevin rolled his eyes. They were standing on the second floor of the mall. Watching furs come and leave, some busy with their phones, others just wandered wherever their paws led them.

"Cute one." Bill announced sudenly and carefully pointed at an otter on the first floor.

"The otter or the cheetah girl next to him."

"Aww...you know it..." Bill said and slapped Kevin on the arm.

"Why the otter? I mean...an otter." Kevin said it as it was something....nasty.

"You have a problem with otters?" The black wolf asked chuckling under his breath.

"The only thing I have a problem with at the moment is that I'm on a buttwatch with my gay friend."

"You mean gay, best frined." Bill corrected and looked around carefully if anybody heared him. Kevin just growled to that.

"That bear....." Bill spotted another cute one.

"This is ridiculous." Kevin sighed and turned away from te crowd.

"Are you jelous? Because I can assure you that You have the cutest butt in the whole mall." Bill whispered softly into Kevin's ear. It was on hell of a sight as Kevin's gray fur turned bright pink in no time. The gray wolf was so shocked that the only thing he could do was to shake his head.

"Do you remember what I said abou You saying embarrasing things to ME?" Kevin asked with a small growl.

"Not really...." Bill faked a thinking expression as if he was really trying to remember.

"I said DON'T!" The gray wolf half barked, growled that made a nearby small tigress jump a little.

"If you really want to ruin the fun...." Bill whined sweetly and smiled at his friend.

"You better...." Kevin felt his anger rise...then it vanished. He didn't know why he was mad at Bill. It didn't really bother him that Bill was saying things like that anymore. It was a part of their agreement, more correctly the used to have an agreement. They avoid the issue of Bill being in love with Kevin and they don't talk about it unless it's necessary. The suggestive 'dirty' talk was supposed to be off limits as well but Kevin didn't get pissed off this time. Bill broke their special rules anytime he could and Kevin didn't care anymore.

"Let's go home, Bill."

"To my place or yours?" Bill asked, obviously sad that his flirting session was over.

"You go to your place and I go to mine." Kevin said.

"Oh....okay."

"Of course I meant your place, silly wolf."

Bill almost jumped with joy as Kevin smiled at him. He was definately in love with him. The feeling never faded. Just got stronger. It didn't matter for Bill that he would only get hurt in the end of this. Because he still believed it was worth it.

***

Three months later....

"Kev....you won't believe this! A fox asked me to to go out with him!"

"What? When? How?" Kevin couldn't help but feel angry.

"He came to me at the mall. I was just having lunch and he said hello. We talked and he asked me out. We're going to watch a movie together!" Bill said it too fast that Kevin had problems with understanding the sudden mass of words.

"So... you have a moive date, with a fox?" He asked, his expression and voice betrayed his disappoitment.

"Yeah!"

"How old is he?"

"Seventeen."

"What if he's a rapist?"

"Rapist?"

"You know, the kind of psychos that makes you have sex with them against your will."

"You are such an ass." Bill replied, shaking his head.

"What if he just wants to have sex with you?"

"Are you nuts? He was really sweet. And I doubt if he could ever make me things 'couse I'm bigger than he is."

"But...."

"You're supposed to be happy for me! I'm going to have my first date ever! So please at least pretend you're happy."

"Fine.....I really look forward to you having a date with that rapist."

"What's your problem, Kevin?" Bill was really getting pissed. "I don't whine when you talk about girls so I expect the same thing about males."

"That's not....."

"Then what?"

"I'm sorry OK! I'm happy for you. That's what you wanna hear?" Kevin snapped angrily.

"Yeah.....exactly." Bill said shot back and stormed out of Kevin's room. The gray wolf just put his head on his desk and slammed his fist on it, making his whole head echoe. Now he was about to have a headache too. That was just great. There was another loud bang from downstairs, Bill just let himself out.

It's been three months since Bill came out to him. But every day Kevin spent with the black wolf made him uncertain about his own feelings. He started to feel attracted to Bill. He caught himself daydreaming about him, or looking at the black wolf's rear as Bill bent over to pick up something from the floor. Kevin no longer knew if he was straight, gay or bi. Watching straight porn still made him hard. It was good to watch hot vixens taken by other males. But lesbian porn wasn't the same. It wasn't so interesting as it used to be. And Kevin wasn't sure if he was hard by the females' pussies or more the way a thick cock fucked them. It wasn't about pleasing females anymore. It was about watching males getting their rocks off. The girls were only tools.

Kevin pushed the start button on and his computer screen brightened. He started the messenger program, checked his e-mails, surfed on the net. Then his worst temptation popped up in one site. Gay porn....

He just usually clicked them off, but every time one popped up.....his will to close it weakened. A part of him wanted to know what it was like if two males pleasured each other. He imagined things. Like kissing with a guy. But there could be so mouch other things....

His curiosity won over his 'supposed to be straight' part. He clicked on the site and a whole database of gay porn filled the screen. Kevin was like a six year old in the candy store. He couldn't decide which picture to start with. There was a pair of bulls making out. And another picture of a lion taking a fox from behind. There were lots of foxes in the pictures. Mostly fucked by some bigger, stronger male. There was a horse, winking at the camera, and Kevin stared in awe as he noticed that the black tube that he actually believed to be a tube....was the horse's cock.....it had to be at least thirteen inches. Kevin gulped nervously and glanced at the door, his ears flicked forward to catch any sounds of moving in the house. He forgot that he was alone but the new "stuff" made him nervous. He didn't want to be caught looking at gay porn.

Then the realization hit him. He was as hard as never before. He even leaked some precum into his boxers. His jeans tented out so much it was almost painful. He swallowed but his throat felt dry.

"Now or never." The gray wolf mumbled and clicked at a picture featuring a wolf and a tiger. A new site opened, his virus detecting system started screaming that the site might be dangerous but he didn't care. A video began to play and Kevin's eyes widened. Moaning and sloppy sounds came from the speaker so loudly he had to decrease the volume. His heart was throbbing in his chest quickly and his paw slowly unzipped his fly. His erection stood at seven inches proudly. Kevin never took his eyes off the screen. His paw seemed to move on autopilot as the tiger growled loudly and nipped at the wolf's neck under him. The wolf seemed to enjoy it even more because he moaned louder and pawed at the tiger's chest. Kevin watched without a single blink as the tiger kissed the wolf deeply and started to literally fuck the wolf's brains out. Kevin's pre slickened his motions of his paw.

Then the tiger roared and took the wolf's neck between his muzzle. Sharp teeth gripped the wolf's neck in a firm mating bite and the tiger came hard into his mate. Then the wolf howled and shot his seed all over the tiger's belly making a white mass on the tiger's washboard abdomen. But the tiger wasn't done with the wolf. He kissed him deeply again and with a swift motion flipped the wolf on his stomach. The tiger began to fuck the wolf even harder than ever before. The wolf moaned and yipped patheticly, his claws tore the sheets and his face told the camera that he was in heaven. Kevin wasn't sure how long they mated but barked in pleasure as he reached his peak. His cock jetted hot wolfcum on his paws and shirt, he even got some on his muzzle he came so hard...... He never came so hard before. Then the wolf climaxed with another deafening howl and the tiger bit his neck again as they came in perfect unision. It was a beautiful sceen...the wolf panted heavily, his expression was peaceful with a small satisfied smile. Only a good, nerve-wracking mating could make that. The tiger lapped sensually at the wolf's ears. The wolf's sensitive ears flicked back and forth as the tiger's slightly rough tongue teased them. Then the tiger hugged the wolf even closer to himself, still hilted deep in the lupine's butt. Kevin sat speechless on his chair. A voice spoke in the film: "Enjoyed your first amatour shot at the 'Football stars'?" It must have been the cameraman.

"Sure we did." The tiger said playfully and squeezed the wolf's still engorged knot, making him moan and shiver in pleasure. "Isn't it true, Cole?"

"Uhh.......please." Cole, the wolf whined and trashed in the tiger's strong grip.

"Please what?" The tiger growled lustfully into the wolf's sensitive ears. He began to stroke the wolf even faster, earning happy, lustful grolws and yips from the big lupine. It didn't take too much and Cole came for the third time. His muscles tensed and the wolf shot his seed all over the tiger's paw. Kevin just realized how big the tiger and wolf was. They must have been football players, well that's what the title said too.

"Fuck Ron......." the wolf panted and looked into the tiger's green eyes. Kevin's jaw fell a little as the realization hit him. They were in love. The way the tiger looked into the wolf's eyes said everything. Cole gently touched his nose with Ron's then licked the feline's pink nose. "I still don't understand why we needed to make a film."

"To record it of course so I can watch it when you're not home."

"You're sick, you know that." Ron just kissed his mate softly and the screen went black.

Kevin stared with wide eyes at the black screen for a second, then began to clean his paws with tissues he kept at his desk. The scent of his own cum filled his nostrils and he raised his cum covered paw to his nose. The smell got stronger, it was sharp, his own scent but way more sexual. His tongue flicked out slowly and gave small lick to his paw. The scent and taste was rich and Kevin had to admit it wasn't bad at all. Considering that he never tasted his own cum before, this was a nother screaming warning. Kevin was gay. Now he knew that.

There was another thing he was sure of.

He loved Bill.

***

Bill slammed his front door with enough force to shake the whole house. His brothers were out again.

The black wolf took off his jacket and silently turned on the TV. He had three hours to get to the mall and meet his date. Still he wasn't thinking about the cute fox but Kevin even more. Bill was angry. No, the word wasn't enough to describe it. He was furious. How long will he run after Kevin when it had been a hopeless dream from the start. His date was a joke. He wasn't even interested in the fox. He just wanted some attention to actually feel what it is like to be on a date. But he wanted only one wolf to date. His phone vibrated in his pocket. Kevin was calling him.

"Hi, Bill!"

"NOT NOW!" Bill literally screamed into the phone and hung up. The black wolf felt even worse. He shouldn't have yelled at Kevin. But he couldn't stand it anymore. He was tired of waiting. He knew his love for Kevin would never end if he stayed friends with him.

***

The doorbell of the Carson house rang and Bill didn't bother to answer. Not now. No, he won't open the door to anyone when he was about to break his own heart. But the visitor kept ringing the bell. It was going to drive Bill mad. The black wolf stood up and walked to the door with ground shaking steps and turned the doorknob. Kevin stood on the porch.

"Hey, Bill. May I come in?"

Bill couldn't help but feel he was having a Deja vu. This has happened once.....three months ago. Kevin said the same words, but Bill had no idea what was coming next.

"Last time you took a few steps back and let me in." Kevin said with a weak smile.

"Last time I thought you wouldn't show up."

"And now?"

"What do you want, Kev?"

"I......we gotta' talk."

"About what.....if it's about my date again I'll kick you out." Kevin smiled even wider to that. "Why the hell are you smiling? I'm not joking!"

"So you haven't gone to see that fox, have you?"

"No, I have not! But what do you care?" Bill said and left Kevin on the porch. The gray wolf followed him and shut the door.

"I din't say you could come in."

"You didn't say I couldn't either." Kevin replied. Bill felt that something changed. Kevin didn't sound like before. The tough, badass wolf seemed to leave behind his rogue attitude on Bill's porch. Kevin looked uncharateristically softly at Bill.

"What?" Bill barked sharply.

"Three months ago. You said you were gay. And I said it was fine." Kevin said and his eyes shone happily. Bill couldn't understand why Kevin acted like this but he had to tell Kevin that their "relationship" must end.

"Three months ago I said I loved you, and do you know what You said?" Bill replied angrily. It hurt even more. His heart seemed to break and fall apart as he took a deep breath to continue but Kevin interrupted him.

"I said I couldn't love you back...." The room felt oddly silent.

"Yes. That's what you said." Bill whispered softly and looked away. His heart was beating faster. For a moment he he hoped things would become different than last time. Just for a second. He just couldn't take it anymore. Staying in the same room with the wolf he loved so much....knowing he had no chance at all....this was the cruelest thing he ever experienced.

"Ask me again." Kevin whispered softly and took a step closer. Bill was about to cry. This had to be a joke. "Ask me....again, Bill."

"No.....I won't." I don't need to be broken twice, Bill thought. Kevin gave him a worried look and got really close to the black wolf. Bill could easily smell Kevin's scent in the air.

"Don't go out tonight, Bill. I don't want you to meet that fox."

"You...." Bill's chest rose and fell with anger. Kevin doesn't get a say in THAT! "Don't you dare tell me what to do! I do whatever I want! If I want to date a fox than I well damn do so!"

"I want to be that fox!" Kevin said desperately. "Okay? I want to be that lucky damn fox you said yes to. I want to be your date. I want to watch that movie with you!" Kevin's unshown emotions started to pour down like the rain in a hot summer night. Bill stood mouth hang open, ears and tail still, only his heart throbbed in that second.

"Don't date that fox! Date me! Love me!" Kevin's eyes gleamed like brilliant emerald oceans of affection and love. His eyes glimmered in......tears. Was Kevin crying? Bill couldn't decide it.

"This is a dream, right?" Bill whispered. The black wolf wasn't the same Bill Kevin knew three months ago. Bill no longer believed in dreams and fairytales, and he didn't believe in santa and his freakin' reindeers.... and he won't fucking wake up in his bed with tears in his eyes and a hole in his heart again. A hole that ached ever so badly after each day he spent with Kevin and fell asleep alone.

"Just ask me again, Bill." Kevin whispered softly and took Bill's black paws in his, squeezed them encourageingly as he smiled at him.

Bill looked back with tears in his eyes. If this was a dream....it was one fuckin' hell of a dream. But it felt so real. Kevin's touch was warm and tender. The gray wolf's scent kept triggering Bill's mind to just... go for it. Even if this was just a dream. It must be a dream- Bill thought. The black wolf stood there for a while, his paws in Kevin's gray ones....

If this means he would wake up in his bed again, crushed by his emotions. Than so be it.

"About the thing I said before you ran off.....Can you love me back?" Bill whispered nervously.

Kevin's smile grew wider. Bill never saw the gray wolf smile like that. It was genuine, full of happiness, full of love and devotion. In Bill's dreams Kevin never smiled. They just kissed deeply and after that Bill always woke up.

"I love you, Bill." The black wolf's heart seemed to overloead with unbelieveable happiness.

"Say it ...again." Bill whispered weakly.

"I love you....I love you, Bill. It took me time.....but I'm here now. I love you." Kevin said happily, his voice carried the determination and strange joy that only big confessions can do. It was overwhelming, Kevin knew who he belonged to, to the black wolf he loved. He wanted to say it tousand times, shout out to the world, shout it on the streets and.....he wanted to kiss Bill.

Kevin let go of Bill's paws and put his own gray paws on Bill's muzzle, his pads brushed softly the black fur. Kevin leaned closer and their lips met. It was slow, deliberate. It was Bill's first kiss.

The black wolf pulled away slowly and Kevin let go. A worried look sneaked on Kevin's muzzle.

Bill stood with his heart beating like drums in concerts. Wild, strong, powerful beats that proved one thing. He wasn't dreaming......

The black wolf lunged forward and kissed Kevin deeply, his tongue found its way easily to the gray wolf's muzzle, making Kevin yip in surprise. Then the gray wolf hugged Bill close to himself, his strong musculed arms rested on the black wolf's hips and back. Kevin kissed girls before. He know how to kiss but wasn't a pro. But this kiss took his breath away. It was full of need and love. It was his best kiss ever. His tongue lapped sensually at Bill's and their lips sealed perfectly. The black wolf's tasted wonderful, his scent flod Kevin's mind and he wanted to kiss the black wolf forever. Bill gave one last nip at Kevin's lips as he pulled away to breath. They stayed in each others warm embrace, foreheads resting against each other, panting lightly, savouring the feeling of their closeness and love. Kevin opened his eyes and his gaze fell on the blissfully smiling Bill.

"I love you too, Kev." The black wolf said and Kevin just replied with another heated kiss.

Then a strange noise hit their sensitive ears. Like keys sliding into the lock. Bill and Kevin broke the kiss and looked at the door. The doorknob turned ever so slowly and the two wolves ran into Bill's room like their life depended on it. Bill and Kevin looked panicked at each other. The dreamlike world collapsed around them and they suddenly became aware that what could have happened if they had been caught. Bill began to wipe the tears out of his eyes, so did Kevin. They panted from exctiement and fear, still smiled nervously at each other as they heared somebody put things into the fridge and whistle. Bill turned to the door ,but before he could have moved Kevin kissed him softly. The black wolf flashed a timid grin and they went back into the living room. They checked themselves in the mirror to see if there was any "suspicous" sign on them then went to the kitchen.

"Hey, boys. How was your day?"

"Good. No...It was amazing!" Bill replied, his tail wagged like it lived its own life. Scott noticed that the two wolves literally beamed with happiness and that Kevin wagged just as much as Bill.... or even more.

"Really, what happened?" The older black wolf asked.

"Well.....nothing....everything is just perfect." Kevin said.

Scott just laughed merrily. To be young again...careless.....

"Well we could play some video games...." Bill suggested and smiled at Kevin.

"Sounds good."

Scott watched the two wolves turn back and went to play. Their tails wagged in perfect unision. It's been a while Scott saw his son in such a good mood. He suspected that there was more behind the "perfect day" but as long as it made his son wag like that.....he wouldn't question it.

***

"I'm so glad that you can sleep over." Bill whispered softly into Kevin's ears. They lay on Bill's bed, the black wolf in the gray's arms, hugging under the blankets. Sometimes they just kissed, tenderly than more passionately, sometimes they just whispered each other "I love you". The minute they had their first kissed seemed so close and distant in the same time, though it just happened six hours ago. Then as the minutes ticked by, the wolves in the Carson house slowly drifted to sleep.

Chris fell asleep with his mp3 player turned on, he would alarm the whole house in the morning, screaming that his batteries went flat.

Sam fell asleep planning his next date with a vixen, and fantasized about how hot she looked without a shirt on.

Scott Carson drifted to sleep with a small prayer on his lips, thanking that he was able to save a woman's life that day and that he had three wolves he could call his sons.

Kevin fell asleep breathing in his lover's scent, making him all warm inside as he hugged the black wolf close to himself.

But Bill Carson didn't sleep till early morning and not because Kevin snored lightly into his left ear. He felt complete. Happy. Though the distant fear that he might woke up alone in the morning still made him nervous.

He fell asleep with the biggest smile of the world, in his lover's arms, as the first light of the early morning brightened his room.

to be continued

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was the first chapter. Comments and criticism are welcome (remember I'm new at writing furry stories).