Comfort Zones
#1 of Comfort Zones
"Almin and Musser..."
Hmm...Connor Almin...the quiet otter with glasses. I could do worse for a presentation partner. As everyone inadvertently did when Mr. Ross called out a pair of names, I searched out my counterpart in the classroom, and saw him already likewise glancing at me. The look on his face was a little apprehensive, but I gave him a casual flick of the corner of my mouth and an upwards nod of my head. Poor guy had probably been hoping against hope he wouldn't be paired with someone like me, so I wanted him to know it'd be cool. I'm a lot more easy-going than most of my teammates, and didn't like to give anyone a hard time like some of them did. Connor didn't exactly run in my crowd to say the least, so I'd never really talked to him, but in a school where our senior class was only graduating 300, I was plenty familiar with him through classes and such.
"...aaaaand Jackson and Murphy. I'll give you guys the rest of the period to talk to your partners. Remember, presentation topics are first-come, first-serve and you can't have the same topic as another group, so decide quickly and let me know!"
As soon as Mr. Ross announced that the rest of the period would be to ourselves, people automatically began moseying around the room to sit next to their assigned partners. There were some grumbles from those who would have rather chosen their own partner, and a couple high-fives from those who had been paired with someone they liked. I snuffled and clapped Dana Jackson on the back when he groaned at being partnered with Cecilia Murphy, our resident goth chick. "See you in practice," I said sympathetically to Dana as I vacated my seat, noticing Cecilia's scowling approach.
I made my way to the front row, where Connor still sat slightly to the right of Mr. Ross's desk. Sitting in the back corner with Dana gave me enough time to absentmindedly air-drum to a riff in my head while I walked. Connor had his head down, aimlessly scratching at a piece of paper with his pencil, and nervously looked up at me as I flashed a smile and the metal horns at him while flopping down in the empty seat to his left. "What's up, man?" I greeted him as I offered my hand across the aisle.
"Uh...hey," he turned slightly and shook my hand a little weakly. His eyes looked directly at my hand like he couldn't believe he could touch it, and they flitted right back to his desk when we let go. He stayed facing me, though, still looking uncertain. Damn, I hoped he'd eventually get comfortable around me once he was sure I wasn't gonna shove him into a locker or taunt him just because he wasn't at the top of the grand pecking order that was our small suburban high school.
"Call me Kevin," I said with a smirk, trying to start off with a little humor.
The lithe otter did crack a bit of a smile at that. Good! "And I'm Connor, how ya doin?"
I laughed. "Well now that we've got the 'introductions' outta the way...you got any ideas for a topic?"
"Not really...I guess we probably shouldn't just do a biography of a President, everyone's gonna pick those..."
"That or the history of one of the wars," I agreed. "If we do something off the beaten path, that should buy us some time. We don't have to decide right now then."
"That'll be good I think..."
"Should we get each others' numbers so we can meet up outside school and work on this?"
That took him a little aback. I doubted the dude had anyone from the football team's numbers in his phone contacts, much less the starting quarterback's! His eyes widened but he said "yeah" and reached into his pocket for his phone. He tapped through to his contacts list while I fished out my own device. I watched him type in "Kevin" and then "Musser", tap "cell", and then glance at me when he reached the number entry field. "Uh...okay."
I told him my number, and he gave me his when I was ready. I said "Cool," and wormed my phone back into my pocket, taking a second to adjust the front of my shorts back to a firmer position. "Great, so I guess..."
When I looked up I barely caught the end of Connor's bulge-eyed stare at my crotch, of all things, before he hastily jerked his head back to the direction of his desk. He'd been watching me adjust myself! And from his guilty reaction, I was guessing it wasn't an accidental glance.
Now I tend to be pretty...comfortable...in my sexuality I guess. Maybe it was all the time spent in locker rooms changing with a bunch of other guys, but I didn't think twice about stuff like what just happened, and I'd talk freely about sexual matters with anyone who wanted to. Hell, I came out to my friends, teammates, and family pretty early in high school, thanks to my mom having a pretty open mind about stuff like that, and the football team being mostly my good friends anyway, and the ones that weren't, well...at the time I was already on track to be the quarterback, and I was damn good and ended up being their leader anyway.
So I think I'm perceptive enough to notice when someone was looking at me, and there wasn't much doubt in my mind that was what Connor had been doing. I knew he had a reputation for being a "fag" around school, but didn't everyone who wasn't an athlete and didn't hang with the "in" crowd? He was the quiet kid who'd never had a girlfriend, and I'm sure got stereotyped pretty easily by dumb people looking for an easy put-down. But...maybe he WAS...you know. Interested.
If so, I didn't mind at all. He was actually pretty cute.
"...I guess, can you maybe do tonight actually?" I continued after pushing some speculation aside. "I'm free after practice and don't have any other homework."
Still studiously not looking directly at me, he thought for a second, biting his bottom lip. "Yeah I can. So do you wanna meet in the library, or..."
"Nah man, you can come over to my place and we can get a pizza and hang out while we discuss. I don't live too far away, that cool?"
I thought he was gonna die, man. For the first time he actually looked right at my eyes, for a split second, as if he couldn't believe I wasn't joking and needed to see my face to make sure I wasn't mocking him. His eyes were big, not fully framed by his modest glasses, and they were a clear, watery blue. I saw years of built-up distrust in them, and it pained me to think of what it must be like to train yourself to be wary of every word someone of a higher social status than you said, because any one of them could be a leering trap.
"Are you serious? I mean, we haven't ever...hung out or anything..." His right hand crossed his body and nervously stroked his other forearm as he looked down at his lap.
I clapped him on the shoulder. "Totally, dude. We might as well make a night of it. We can do any research we need on the Internet, I have good wi-fi." I tend to be somewhat...handsy, some would say, in showing everyday affection, but it's my way of being genuine. I hoped he realized that and it would put him more at ease.
He looked up at me again, this time for a little longer. I did my best to look jovial and even purr quietly. Connor stammered, "S-sure then, I don't have much homework tonight either."
I grinned and flashed the metal horns again. "Sick! I'm out of practice at five. You need a ride, or anything?"
"Well I don't have a car and I don't know where you live anyway...I can stay here and work on my art project while you're in practice I guess."
"Great! It's a date then, hahahaha." He started to raise his eyes again with a look that I could only describe as fear, so I was quick to say, "Kidding, man. Kidding." I know stuff gets around quick in high schools, but I wasn't really sure if he knew that I was actually gay or not. I'd let him figure it out.
The bell rang and I looked around. Mr. Ross was at the back of the room talking with a pair that had already decided on a topic apparently. There was the usual clamor of people heaving their stacks of books from under their desks and the hallways beginning to fill. I said to Connor, "Meet me in the back parking lot at maybe quarter after five, give me time to change and all. Good?"
"Yeah," he responded, still probably bewildered. I grinned again and left him with a last punch on the shoulder.
"See you then!" I leaned under me to scoop up my books and left the room. As I turned into the hallway, I glanced back through the door and saw the shy otter sitting wide-eyed at his desk, still facing where I had been. Hopefully by the end of the night he'd learn that not all tigers bite.
* * *
"Him?! Dude PLEASE don't tell me you're gonna start fucking your way through the school's nerd population now."
"Calm down," I rolled my eyes at James, a wolf buddy of mine from the team. He'd seen me just text Connor that I was out of practice. "We're just working on our project."
Daron, a bull lineman, snorted from beside me as we walked out of the locker room. "Well I'd say go ahead, anyone can tell that otter's a faggot."
"Hey! Watch it, dude," I scolded him. "Not everyone that's not on the team is gay, you know. He's a nice enough guy, one day he'll find a girl that's into that. He's just...shy. Needs a little encouragement."
"Which I'm sure he'll get from you," snickered James. I flipped him the finger but didn't say anything. Connor was a change of pace from the normal type of dudes I usually hung around with, and I hoped we could be friends. I'd had some experience in the mating world anyway; who knows, maybe I could actually help him out there.
Once we left the field complex, we could see him sitting on the curb by the parking lot where my truck was, and I got a more complete look at him than I had in the classroom, or really, ever before. He was wearing the white and grey hoodie he'd had on earlier, and the maroon track pants. He had a tuft of headfur, lighter brown than the rest of him, between his soft, round ears not unlike my own in shape. Now that I really looked at him, he was actually well-filled-out for an otter, while retaining his species' penchant for litheness. His legs were pulled up to his chest, thick tail wrapped around them with the end idly flopping every now and then, and his arms and head rested on his knees. When his eyes looked up and saw our small group approaching he hastily uncoiled himself and stood up, throwing his backpack over a shoulder and waiting for us with an awkward wave to me. I gave him my best tiger grin and a wave back. I noticed he clutched a large dark green notebook in one hand.
"I'll see you guys later," I waved to my companions. "James, text me about that movie this weekend."
"Totally, Amanda may come too, is that cool?"
"Dude she's cool, you know she's always welcome."
"Sweet. Peace guys."
Daron walked off in his own direction as well, murmuring to me in singsong, "Have fuuuuunnnnn."
"Haha fuck you, man!" I gave him a shove in the direction he was going.
"Don't be too 'hard-on' him, eh?"
I just shook my head as I walked toward my truck and motioned to Connor to come join me. I reached the truck before he did, flopped inside, and immediately turned the air conditioning up. A few seconds later the passenger-side door opened and Connor slipped in, setting his backpack on the floor between his legs but keeping the notebook on his lap with his arms folded over it.
"Hey dude," I greeted him as I put the truck into gear. Remembering what he'd said earlier, I asked, "How's your art project goin?"
"Oh, um...it was really easy, I finished the class project in about half an hour. I spent most of the time working on something of my own, heh." He spoke a little stumblingly, like he hadn't been prepared to answer questions about what he'd been doing. Maybe he didn't think I'd ask, or care.
"Sweet! Can I see some of your stuff? I've noticed you draw a lot, you're probably pretty good."
"I could...show you a few things if you really wanna see them..."
"I do! Maybe we could even incorporate something of yours into our presentation, get a few 'pretty points', haha."
"Depending on the subject we pick, yeah maybe."
"Well I can't contribute anything super-special...my only hobby is music and I don't think we'd get pretty points for me delivering our presentation in a death growl."
Connor gave me a sideways quizzical look without really looking at me. I kept one hand on the steering wheel while I popped open my center console. "Death metal!!" I whisper-growled while I grimaced and threw up the horns.
"Whoa..." Connor breathed as he saw the collection of my favorite heavy albums in the console. He brushed his hand over the spines of them. "Can I look at them?"
"Go ahead! These are my favorites, I have more at home."
He grabbed a handful of the CDs and started glancing through the covers and song titles. "Is this...Cryp...topsy?" he sounded out.
"Cryptopsy! Man that album rules, what a classic. I can throw it on when we get to my place if you wanna hear some, we're almost there."
"Oh...sure." He continued looking through the CDs he'd gotten out. "I've never listened to stuff like this...some of these have really good artwork though, like, uh, Mastodon?" He held up my copy of Blood Mountain.
"I thought you might appreciate that! They always have amazing art yeah. Check in here and see if you can find the Suffocation album with the Dan Seagrave on the cover, he's a legend in death metal art."
He rifled through the collection and found Effigy of the Forgotten. "Wow this is pretty gross but there's so much detail..."
"Yeah that's his thing haha. Say, if I ever find a decent band and grab the vocal spot you oughta do some artwork for us!"
"I can try I guess. Do you not play any instruments?"
"Nah I never learned, I wish I had time now. I've got a good growl going though. Comes pretty natural to my kind!" I said with a flick of my whiskers and a puffed-up chest.
"I bet it would!"
I was glad I was getting Connor to relax. He was actually pretty conversational when you got him going. I guess he was just usually quiet because there was no one he wanted to talk to. Or could talk to.
We pulled into my subdivision only about ten minutes after we left the school. My mom wasn't home yet, as expected. She probably had the night shift at the hospital. I selected a choice few CDs to take in with me and hopped out of the truck, getting my backpack out of the bed. I walked around to where Connor was just getting out. "Welcome!" I grinned and extended my arm toward the house.
"Heh, it's really nice." We started down the sidewalk, me fishing for my key in the pocket of my shorts. Connor continued, "I live kinda more in the country, so I'm not used to there being neighbors."
"Awwww I like a country boy!" I reached out and ruffled his headfur cheekily, and as I unlocked the door he gave me a kind of unreadable look, again directly into my face this time. I just smirked and walked inside.
I used each foot to lever the shoe off the other one without untying either, as usual, and let Connor walk past me as he looked around. For the first time I actually noticed our height difference; he stood at about my collarbone. Granted, I was tall even for a tiger, while he was about average otter height. He owned his height though and didn't stand or walk slouched, which make him not look actually short. He just was what he was.
"You play video games?" I asked him.
He turned around and smiled. I'd never seen that before! "Yeah! What do you have?"
"Not a ton, but we can go downstairs and you can check out what I have. Hope you don't mind PlayStation 2."
"Downstairs?"
"Yeah I have the whole basement to myself. My room is down there plus a little living-room type area, and even my own bathroom."
"Wow, nice!"
"Yeah my older brother had the upstairs bedroom before he went to college. By the way, my mom probably won't be back for a while."
"Oh, okay. Is she working?"
"Yeah, long hours most days. She's a nurse."
"My mom stays at home mostly. I'm the oldest of my siblings so she has to look after them."
We continued chatting about our families while I led him downstairs. He picked out a game he knew while I called in a pizza. I'd be starving by the time it arrived; today's practice had been hard. I grabbed a bottle of Gatorade from the downstairs fridge.
"You want something to drink?" I asked Connor.
"Uh, sure. What are my options?"
"Gatorade."
"Oh. Any one is fine."
I grabbed another bottle for him and plopped down on my favorite beanbag chair that sat on the floor. "You want the couch?" I asked him and held the bottle out to him.
I threw in one of the CDs I brought in with me after he sat down. "This is that Cryptopsy album, it's top 10 stuff for me, the vocalist is insane!" He chuckled at the opening sample and watched me air-drum and put on a mean face when the band came in.
"Wow, this is...intense," he remarked after a minute or so. "I like the energy, most of the stuff I listen to is more laid-back." He laughed genuinely. "I think most things would be more laid-back than this."
We discussed the music and played a couple of games until the pizza came and we dug in, ravenously on my part. We talked some more while we ate, but mostly I just listened to him, both because I was glad he was opening up and also because the more I talked the less pizza I could put in my face. I asked him to show me some of his drawings, which were really good, if a little on the dull side because most of the stuff he had with him was school projects. He had a very detailed, carefully shaded style I could tell he spent a lot of time on, and told him so.
"What's the thing you were working on today after you finished your projects?" I asked and began to flick toward the later pages.
He quickly picked up the sketchbook and closed it, and I could tell the insides of his ears were redder than before. "Uh...it's not finished yet, and, um, I don't think you'd...wanna see it anyway..."
I frowned inwardly. That sounded like the nervous, untrusting Connor I met earlier in class today, not the relaxed, interesting one I'd gotten to know a bit over the past hour or so. "Okay, man, I understand not wanting anyone to see an unfinished product, but I think your stuff rocks and you can show me whatever it is." I tiger-grinned knowingly. "I'm pretty open-minded."
He laughed, but it was forced and reactionary. "Haha...it's not like...that. I just don't know if you'd like it."
"Sure, dude. Wanna finish this game?"
"Uh, actually, is that the bathroom?" he pointed.
"Yup, go ahead, I'll look around this level more while you're in there."
"Sure." He carefully put the sketchbook back into his backpack. I didn't miss the quick, flitting glance he shot behind him at his backpack, and then to me, before he closed the door.
Immediately I was curious what he didn't want to show me, even as I felt guilty for being nosy. I really did try to keep my focus on the game and stay out of the guy's business, but I kept looking over at his backpack and thinking, there's nothing in there that could shock me, I'm the least judgmental person at our school probably.
And since I have a bad habit of being a bit of a curious cat every now and then, after a minute, I paused the game and put it on demo mode so the sound would keep going and leaned over to his backpack and unzipped it quickly and quietly, ears pricked for sounds from the bathroom. I slipped the book out and thumbed through the few empty pages in the back until I reached the last one with pencil on it, and immediately caught my breath. Now it was my own turn to blush in my ears.
I couldn't believe how much more ALIVE this page was, with passion, with interest, with...emotion! All of the other things I'd seen were technical exercises, demonstrations of what he could draw. But I right away in the few seconds that I looked at it that this was a celebration of what he WANTED to draw. It was a vibrant, almost living portrait of a tall tiger from the waist up, though even then I could tell there were no clothes involved, wearing only a jocular grin and some sturdy muscle on a sleek frame. One hand was almost in front of the face, balled in a fist but for the index and pinky fingers extended straight out.
Here was this beautiful, lovingly pored-over, meticulously detailed portrait that exuded a warm openness and, God help me, a decided SEXINESS...and its subject was ME.
I immediately closed the book as stealthily as my slightly shaking hands could, and slid it back into the backpack in the same position it had been in. I heard the toilet flush and I arranged the backpack as close as I could to how Connor had left it. He opened the door as soon as I resumed the game and tried to look unflustered. I hoped he wouldn't notice my persistent blush that was more than part shame-induced.
I spoke up shakily before he could speak. "This area looks dead, I don't think we're gonna get much done, do you wanna try another level?"
"Yeah this level's boring, let's find another mission." He sat down, and I watched his every move as he looked at the backpack, then moved it aside from the couch so he could sit back down.
We continued playing for a while, but I couldn't focus at all, with the image still in my head of Connor's rendering of me, not to mention my own guilt for being a snoop, occupying my mind. It seemed pretty clear to me that my hunch about Connor was true, and not only was he gay, he might be seriously smitten with me, physically at the very least. That felt kinda weird actually; yeah, I'd fooled around with a few guys before, but they usually wanted to keep it hush because they weren't out or "weren't gay", and yeah I guess some of the girls probably wouldn't mind dating me, but that was probably just as much because of my status as my looks. But for someone to actually be into me? I found it bizarre and...well, really sweet. I had been already starting to like Connor a lot anyway, but now I felt my heart going out to him and I HAD to know what was going on. I needed a plan to see if this was all a misunderstanding, but without being too straightforward about it. He needed to come to me, and I needed to show him that I was open.
Well I didn't have much experience with the emotional parts of things, but the state of that portrait gave me an idea. There might be a way to just...give the otter what he was already thinking he wanted.
* * *
I sighed as we finished the mission. "You think we should probably get to work on our project?"
"Heh, yeah not a bad idea."
"Let's go to my room, we can get on the internet and brainstorm."
"Cool."
After a good stretch upon standing up, I picked up my own backpack and padded over to my bedroom door with Connor following. I flopped down on the seat by my desk and got my laptop out of my bag. I noticed Connor had come into the room but was still standing awkwardly. "You can sit on the bed if you want."
He looked apprehensive but set his pack down and unobtrusively sat down on my bed. Heh, I definitely liked the idea of him on my bed, but...that hopefully came later.
As my laptop booted up, we started throwing out ideas of historical topics we could make a decently in-depth presentation on without having to do a ton of research and work. I clicked through a few Wikipedia pages to get our brains working but nothing really clicked yet.
There was a moment of silence when we were both thinking, and I just decided it might as well be now or never. I gave myself a mental ass-pat and steeled my resolve. I wasn't sure how this was going to go, and maybe I was being a little impulsive, but then...I usually am anyway.
"Uh, do you mind if I change clothes? These are funky even from just wearing them after practice."
Connor quickly looked in my eyes again in that peculiar way he did when I think he was trying to gauge my seriousness. "Uh, of course not...I can leave..."
"Nah, I'll make it real quick. We're just getting a good academic discussion going!"
He snuffled through his nose but the laugh was only slightly less forced than my joke. I stood up and walked to my dresser. "What do you think about maybe the Great Depression? We could just focus on one aspect of it, like the causes or the effects we're still feeling from it today." I picked out a fresh shirt and pair of shorts, twitching my tail back and forth in the decision-making process. Trying to look as casual as possible, I drew my shirt over my head and tossed it in the basket by my dresser, while looking back at Connor to see his response to my suggestion...and to my suggestiveness.
"That might work, so we wouldn't have to cover all - everything about it..." I heard hesitation in his voice, nearly the same kind I noticed when we first talked in class. He wasn't looking at me.
"Whatever we pick, I think that's a good approach. We don't have to be comprehensive, that's what the class is for." Well, here goes. It's a good thing I have a lot of confidence. I slipped my thumbs in the waistband of my boxers and shucked them and my shorts off in one swoop. I tried to be somewhat graceful when I stepped out of them and chucked them into the basket where they joined my previous shirt.
I stood up to full tiger-height, facing Connor in all my natural glory. His face was turned directly at his lap, where one hand was rubbing the other forearm again, but I could see his eyes flicking about in near-panic.
"Connor?"
He didn't answer except for a small, dog-like whine in his throat and continued his fixation on his hands. I took a step or two toward him.
"Connor," I said gently, "It's okay to look if you want."
He turned his head up and gave me his longest-yet look directly into my eyes. I held his look firmly and with a little smile. I noticed his ears quivering. During class, I had noticed his eyes were like watery blue pools, but now it was his turn to plumb the depths of my own, perhaps less open, brown ones.
His gaze began to move slowly, twitchingly downward, taking in what I knew he'd imagined in order to draw it so carefully. He swallowed when he reached where my genitals hung, still flaccid but a little thickened-up. He took a few quicker, shallower breaths and snapped his eyes back to his hands in his lap. My own eyes followed them and despite his arm covering up some parts, my expert ability for spotting this kind of thing showed me that Connor's own cock wasn't at ease, as mine was. Thank god for track pants, right?
I hadn't planned out the next part but I guess I got out of control because I really wanted to show this otter how serious I was...and also because I could feel my own libido starting to stir, and the awakening process was not slow and languid but sharp and attentive.
"Here," I said and closed the rest of the distance between us, kneeling in front my bed. I looked up at his wide eyes and gave him an affectionate grin that lifted the whiskers on one side of my mouth. "I wanna look too."
I moved his arms aside and softly placed my hand on his stomach. His breathing was erratic now, and he swallowed often, but my eyes stayed with his in a way I hoped was reassuring as one of my hands slid down his abdomen and my other was placed on top of his hand on the bed. When I reached his waistband, I gave a small snuffle and smirked, then watched what I was doing while I slipped my hand under it. When I looked back up, Connor had closed his eyes and he gulped. His whole body was shaking.
My hand ran through his soft brown fur in his pants and slowly closed around what had been so hard since he'd started looking at me. I kept my grip on it and pulled my arm away from his body so that my wrist pulled his waistband back and revealed to the air what I had in my hand.
His penis wasn't long, which would have looked strange on him anyway, but it had a good solid thickness that made it fit very comfortably into my palm. I smiled and looked back up at his face. His eyes were open again and, surprisingly, they weren't on what was going on by his crotch. They had been looking down, but at me. He looked so confused, so hopeful, so...scared. I just wanted to help him.
I gave his dick a slow stroke up and down, followed by a bit quicker one. He didn't make a sound other than his quick breathing. I have to admit I really liked his cock, and I was almost fully hard myself at this point. Me being completely nude while discovering the nice otter's body didn't help that particular situation.
My hand started to be more regular with its stroking, and one time my fist reached the base of his penis and he let out a groan in a voice that trembled heavily. "Mmhhhh." A couple quick breaths and his voice cracked even more. "Kevin..."
"Yeah, buddy?" I murmured.
"I...didn't know you were...Kevin, I really like you but...." He began to whimper and that's right where I started to feel awful. His lip was shaking as he stammered. "You've been so friendly, and I never thought..."
His water-eyes now actually watered, and he had to stop talking because he was sobbing.
Oh god, what the fuck had I done?
I quickly tucked his dick back into his pants with a feeling of horror. What had I been thinking, ignoring the signs and pushing him into all this? "Hey...hey man, it's okay. It's okay." I sat down next to him on the bed and cradled him into a hug against my chest.
He kept trying to talk through his ever-increasing crying. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he apologized for nothing over and over.
"No, dude, no. I'm sorry. I like you too, but I wasn't thinking about you. I shouldn't have fucking done any of this, I am so sorry." I gave him a squeeze around his shoulders. "Okay?"
He tried to stop crying and get his breath. "I've never...never done that...before...and I didn't know you were..."
I smiled sympathetically even though he couldn't see it. "Gay?"
That made him start sobbing again, but he nodded into my chest. I gave him another squeeze and felt my heart melt into a puddle, admittedly filled mostly with my own shame.
It was a while before he could talk again. I simply held him and waited. I deserved to sit here in agony and listen to him cry. I was such an asshole.
He finally started to clear up and sniffle. "I didn't even know if I was either...and everyone makes fun of me for it anyway. And...." I thought he was going to break down again here, but he took a deep breath and went on with strength: "I've liked you for so long! And you've been so nice...I just can't believe it."
"I fucked it all up though, man, I shouldn't have came on to you so strong, I just thought...I thought you'd like it...." I sighed. It was only right to confess. "I...uh...I looked at your sketchbook again while you were in the bathroom."
He lifted his head up and looked at me, and I wanted to kill myself for the hurt and fear I saw in his tearful face. "Did you...see...?"
I nodded guiltily. "It was such a shitty thing to do, but I just wanted to know more about you. I saw the drawing of me and...I don't know, I just had to find out for myself." I heaved another sigh. "I guess in my mind that means basically raping you."
That got a tiny laugh from him even though I was totally serious about my utter shame. "No, Kevin, I...you didn't do anything wrong, I just was freaking out. I'm not mad you looked at my drawing. Maybe a little embarrassed...." The redness in his ears had already told me that. "I just...can't process that...do you really like me that way?"
I hugged him to me again. "Yeah. I do. I've loved getting to know you and want to more, but...how about from now on I slow down and not be so pushy? Or...well...pull-y, heh."
He giggled more strongly. "That would be...amazing." Then he held up his hand in a fist and extended a few fingers awkwardly in an attempt at my own favorite gesture of solidarity.
I laughed warmly and corrected his hand with my own. "Thumb goes in, buddy."
For the first time, we both looked at each other in the eyes, and we both smiled.
* * *
Mom got home at around 10. She came downstairs to find me. What she found was a dark basement lit by the flickering, low-volume TV, and the couch occupied by me lying down with my arm around a sleeping otter she didn't know. When I saw her coming down the stairs I put my index finger to my lips. She had a puzzled look but she smiled. I would wake Connor up soon and take him home; there would be time to explain later.
She went back upstairs and I heard her starting to make some food for herself. She was always like me getting out of football practice when she got home late.
I looked down at the beautiful sleeping otter I was spooning. I had carried him to the bathroom after I got my fucking clothes back on and he washed his face. We ended up like this on the couch with the TV low for hours, just talking quietly. It turns out he had had a crush on me for a couple years and had been petrified when we were assigned as partners. He somewhat guiltily admitted that the one I saw was not his first drawing of me, but I made him promise to show me the other ones. He had already given me the one in his sketchbook. I hung it up with love just above my desk.
We talked about a lot of things, though not one word about our history presentation, with him murmuring more and more softly as the evening wore on. I finally just let him fall asleep and carefully folded his glasses and put them on the armrest of the couch when he was breathing regularly. Without thinking about it I gave him a soft kiss on the side of his face, his long whiskers tickling my own.
I loved thinking that there would be plenty more time soon for me to teach him proper metal-horns technique.