Holy Deer: The Deer Kids
HOLY DEER
The Deer Kids..
Some woman laid upon the ground as a strange deer walked up to her. It snorted, eyeing the woman oddly before it smacked her with its hoof and knocked her out. It then proceeded to spread her legs and tore off her underwear with its green teeth, snorting all the while. Smiling, the deer rammed it's snout into the tender folds of her vagina and started to lick. The deer then laid down upon the woman and rammed its hard cock into her vagina and did so for two hours, whereupon strange noises were heard coming from the forest. When the deer was finally done, it pissed on her breasts and nipples, about the size of melons. Then it walked away and vanished........
The woman, Michelle Branch, woke up the next day in the hospital. There were three babies sitting next to her with deer heads and big eyes. They snorted and grunted violently, steam emitting from their flared nostrils. They belched, the smell horrible beyond belief.
She screamed Bloody Murder! From the looks of it, they were her babies! Well, according to the charts they were. The horror!! "Why the fuck was I raped by a deer! Why!!?" she screamed. Her head reeled in confusion and terror, and random stupidity. The doctors heard the commotion and burst into the room, whereupon injected her and she fell asleep peacefully.
Chapter 2
somewhere in the forest...
"That bitch was easy!" boasted Deer while he fucked some terrified squirrel up the ass. He finally finished and slid his cock out of her.
In the city
Michelle had some problems. "That motherfucking Deer gave me an STD! Shit now I can't see my boyfriend anymore and he can't fuck me anymore!" she screamed, finally having come to grips on what her situation had been. Oddly enough, the doctors hadn't been too surprised by her fucked up pregnancy, as there had been similar cases sprouting up in other rural parts of the county as well, however weird it was. Michelle, although mortified at the fact of her odd birth, had decided to just deal with it and keep her mutant children. She fed her deer babies some berries and they just grunted. Michelle, although unbeknown to her, had suffered other psychological injuries that would sprout later. She just stared at her weird kids as they grunted and belched. "Shut the fuck up kids! I'm trying to watch my show God Damnit!"
Somewhere in the forest...
Deer smiled as he fucked his mom in her vagina, grunting as he pushed his cock farther and farther, enjoying every minute. His mom was high on LSD and didn't know what was going on. He finished and his cum dropped out of her vagina and landed on the ground. Then he reared his down and licked it up off the ground. He smiled as the thin streams of white, globby cum smacked between his lips.
In the city: Six months later...
Michelle was having a hard time getting her kids to bed, as she was tired herself. "Just put those fucking pajamas on and get to bed!" she screamed.
The kids just grunted. They were all turning twelve tomorrow and Michele had planned something special for their birthdays.
"Bob, get your fucking head out of the toilet! That's it! You're grounded mister! Now all of you get to fucking bed! Tim turn off that TV! You're not watching that dirty Animal Planet anymore where it shows hot deer chicks! Or Steve Irwin! I've had enough of his fake shit alligators for tonight!"
"But mom! I like to watch him!"
Michelle stared at Tim.
It was the first time he had said anything that was.....well......human! She then fainted. She woke up hours later, staring oddly out at her kids.
"Mom! Are you okay?" asked Charlie.
"Ummm.......I don't know!" said michelle.
Bob just grunted.
"Shut the fuck up Bob!" she screamed.
Bob sat down in front of the t.v. and turned on his favorite t.v. show called PlayDoe where it shows hot nude female deer all day long. Bob looked at the Pamkela Atkerson on the screen and started to jack off. His cum squirted all over the t.v. screen.
"You sick bastard Bob!" yelled Tim. "Now we can't watch Steve Irwin anymore you fucking stupid ass faggot!!!"
The TV then short-circuited and blew up in Bob's face. He ran to his room belching and grunting the whole way. Bob was a little fuckhead dumbshit. Bob opened his dresser and pulled out an issue magazine of PLAYDOE: The College Doe Edition. Luckily he had a personal TV in his room so he could watch PlayDoe TV all night long. He started to jack off once again. His moans faded into the night.........
Somewhere in the forest........
0400 hours dumbass p.m.
Deer looked to his left. He looked to his right. A hunter was lying below him. He had caught the man in the act of molesting a tree, while trying to aim to kill Deer. Deer opened up the plug on his ass and a long, gooey stream of steamy green diarrhea flowed out onto the leaves, the leaves turning instantly brown. He then tore the hunters pants off.*** He then raped the man into oblivion. He cleaned himself off quickly and then jumped back into the bushes to find another victim..............
Somewhere in the city.....4 a.m.
Michelle banged on Bob's door. "Turn that fucking tv down you little bastard shit!" she screamed. "I'm trying to fucking go to sleep!"
Bob sat down on his bed and watched PlayDoe. He smiled an evil smile. He jacked off and grunted and belched all night long. Michelle woke up the next day and checked her kids. Bob had painted his room white with his cum.
"You LITTLE MOTHERFUCKER! You piece of deer shit!!" She yanked him by the antlers. "EAT MY PUSSY, SHIT!" she screamed. She stuffed Bob down her underwear. He fell through her pants and landed on the ground, his eyes showing some confusion. He clawed back up her pants and tried to lick her asshairs up.
"Get the fuck outta here!" She screamed, and kicked Bob on his bed like a football. "YOU LITTLE BOBFUCKER! Get back to bed and watch your Sesame Street! Or I'll take your cock and balls and castrate you!"
She slammed the door and thick gooey globs of cum rolled off the walls. Bob licked his cummy hands. Michelle told Charlie to come in her room. She told him to take off his clothes, whereupon she took off her clothes. Her large breasts bounced up and down, almost bursting from her bra. She threw herself on Charlie. She laughed and screamed. She shoved Charlie's dick in her pussy, Charlie looking mortified.
"OH BOB!!!" she screamed.
"I'm Charlie mom!" said Charlie, half suffocated. Cum shot out of Michelles pussy into Bob's.....uh....I mean Charlie's mouth.
"Why Mom? Why did you pleasure me?" Charlie asked.
"Shut the fuck up you insignificant little shit!" Michelle screamed.
Charlie choked on the cum and gurgled it. He spit it all over the floor.
"Eat IT!!" screamed Michelle, her face all twisted. She shoved Charlie's face into the white mess.
"Clean the cum off your fucking face!" She picked Charlie up and threw him back into his room. Charlie sat down and watched Steve Irwin and chewed on his own thick blubbery cum.
Michelle reached into her pocket and pulled out a vibrator. She shoved it into her pussy and moaned. "OH BOBBY!!" she screamed.
At that moment Tim walked into the room. "Mommy, what are you doing?" he asked.
Michelle grabbed Tim and shoved him inside her pussy. "HA!HA!HA!" she screamed. "You'll never escape my pussy!"
Tim struggled to pull his head out of Michelle's vagina. He finally succeeded and thrust his head out. Suddenly, to his horror, Michelle's pubic hairs started quivering. They shot out of her pussy and wrapped around Tim's throat. The hairs squeezed tighter and tighter and Tim's eyes bulged out of his head. Suddenly, the hairs loosened and Tim fell to the floor gasping for air...
Later, they were all sitting at the table eating dinner. Bob was flippin' through the pages of his PlayDoe magazine. Tim was chewing his leaves and grass. And Charlie was playing his Gameboy Adv.
"Alright, get ready for bed." Said Michelle. Suddenly, Michelle's tongue shot across the table and into Bob's throat. Her tongue went down Bob's throat and licked his dangly thing. Bob puked all over the table. He grunted. "Get to fucking bed! All of you!" she screamed.
They all ran to their rooms. Charlie turned on his computer and watched Steve Irwin on the Internet. "I told you to fucking go to bed you little bastard shits!"
Michelle was feeling very hateful right now, especially for that fucking bitch-ass deer that raped her. "I swear I will find you and fucking kill you MOTHERFUCKER!!!" she screamed in her bed.
SOMEWHERE IN THE FOREST
Deer found a hunter standing by a tree. He looked him over to make sure he was of a fine quality meat, although Deer was looking for something more along the lines of a skunk. After some careful thinking, Deer rammed the man and killed him, though it proved all too easy. He raped the man inside out of his asshole. Pretty soon blood was gushing from the mans dry ass. The man was still breathing so Deer strangled him with his own dick. A little squirrel wandered too close and Deer ripped off the mans testicles and shoved them in the squirrels ass cheeks. After that Deer fucked the little squirrel with no mercy and a vengeance...
Back in the city....
Bob was being a real dumbass, sitting in the bathroom, playing with his PlayDoe action figures. Michelle had gone to Toys "R" Us earlier that week and bought them for him, cause he hadn't jacked off for a full hour.
Tim was in his room watching the Steve Erwin marathon, that had been playing all week. "Tim, you fucking piece of dumbshit, turn that motherfucking t.v. off or I'll shove that remote up your ass and impale your nut sac on the antennae!"
Charlie walked in the room playing Mortal Kombat on his psp and accidentally dropped it by Michelle.
She looked angrily at him and suddenly her nipple squirted milk in his eye and he screamed. "Aaahhh, that shit burns!" he screamed as Michelle shoved her boob down his throat and tried choking him with her nasty, curdled breast milk. "Drink that you bastard asswipe!" she screamed, as Charlie's eyes bulged and milk gushed out of his mouth and nose.
"Mom! What are you doing?" choked Charlie, as Michelle tried tearing his pants off. Suddenly, Bob walked out of the bathroom with his pants down and his cum squirting everywhere. He was playing Commando with his PlayDoe action figures, and the Pamkela Atkerson one got tangled in Michelle's ass hairs.
Bob grunted and squealed as he tried to pull it out of Michelle's ass. "Bob you fucking shit fuck asshole!" she screamed as her hairs were ripped out one by one. Charlie was about half-dead with 36 year old breast milk in his stomach. Bob pulled hard suddenly, and Michelle's ass started bleeding from all the missing hairs, and she fell off Charlie, who cried and ran in his room. Michelles breasts started doing flip-flops and calmed down.
Tim was still watching Steve Irwin. "Tim, you damn shit fucking stupidfuck! I'm going to shove that T.V. down your fucking dick and make it come out your fucking mouth"..............
Some hospital somewhere in the city....
That squirrel that got raped by the deer was having a hard time, because it had become pregnant. "Oh god damn motherfuckin shit!" screamed the squirrel as a giant bulge squirmed around in its ass. The doctors in the room were frantically trying to calm it down, but it screamed really loud. Soon a river of blood was flowing out of its asshole onto the floor. One doctor went to close and the pressure threw him up against a wall, where he splattered. Suddenly, the squirrels ass exploded! Chunks of asshole went everywhere. Some got in the nurses mouth and she puked out her stomach and died.
"Oh FUCK!" said the squirrel as a giant blob fell out of its asshole cavity and slopped on the floor. The blob moved and a grunt noise was heard coming from it. It was a fucking deer! It stood up on its disgusting cum-colored legs and snorted. A terrified doctor ran in front of it in and fell down. Suddenly the deer started going crazy and kicking everything down and rampaging in the room. It ran around and shoved its antlers in the nurses pussy and tore her in half.
Blood squirted everywhere as the crazy deer ran everywhere. Suddenly, it spotted the doctor and rammed him into the wall with his antlers and tore his stomach open.
"Arrghhh!" screamed the deer as it went psycho and kicked the shit out of everything in the room. The squirrel had to take a shit but it didn't have an asshole anymore, so it died. Then the deer broke through the windows and landed on a stack of dildos and it slipped and broke one of its antlers. a midget was walking nearby and the deer shoved its antlers up his ass and he died a slow painful death......
Wanshington D.C....
The President of the United states was sitting in his room, watching the Martha Stewart porno hour on his illegal pay per view, when his assistant walked in.
"Sir! What are we going to do about the deer situation?" he asked concerned.
The president turned around, slamming his fist down on the table. "That fucking deer! What can we do? We don't know what fucking deer it even is! Just like those kids on Barney and Friends want to pretend they don't really feel Barney inching his dildo slowly toward their assholes! BJ and Baby Bob are fucking fucking in the room next to that, I mean, you can fucking see BJ licking Baby Bob's tiny dick! She's a fucking hermaphrodite!"
The assistant looked puzzled. "Sir, what do you mean?" The president stared at him hard. "I mean I have fucking ass crabs!!"
The president looked long and hard at his slowly growing boner. "God damn Viagra! I wonder if my wife's feeling anything yet?" He stared up at the assistant. "Launch operation Deer Fucker at once! I want every deer stuffed into an adult video store and whichever one starts jacking off, that's your fucking deer!" he said.
The assistant waved his hand. "Yes sir!"
Back in the woods....
Deer was standing by a tree, looking hopefully at a skunk running across a meadow. "Oh yeah, haven't had skunk pussy in awhile..." said Deer. He waited patiently, his dick slowly bulging beneath him. Suddenly, he farted, and the skunk got scared and ran away.
Deer wasn't phased, and simply walked after it, drool coming from his slobbering mouth. The skunk was taking a piss and accidentally pissed on itself, that's when Deer made his rape. He jumped on the skunk and rammed his dick into it's asshole and it went straight through and out its pussy, blood squirting out. The skunk screamed very loud as blood and shit squirted from its vagina.
Deer grunted as his dick hit the ground and dirt flew everywhere. The skunk was screaming its head off as a puddle of blood and piss slowly pooled around it. Deer laughed maniacally and pulled his dick out of her, and then walked around to the front of the skunk. She quit screaming and looked up, whereupon Deer walked back around her and shoved his dick back in her asshole. The skunk screamed again. Deer gave a last thrust and his dick went through the skunk and out its mouth, where the skunk stopped screaming and instantly died...................................................and then Deer laughed......
Back in the city............
0800 hours dumbfuck a.m.
Charlie looked down at the homework his stupid teacher was making him do. Michelle was sitting in the bathroom trying to figure out if Tylenol could be used to make her pussy smoother.
Suddenly, Bob walked into the kitchen where Charlie was doing his homework and started to jack off on the refrigerator. "Bob! You dumb faggot ass piece of shit! Go jack off outside or something!" said Charlie, who threw a pin at Bob, where it got stuck in his asshole.
Bob just grunted.
Tim walked in the room and slipped in Bob's cum, which was slowly dominating the fridge and the surrounding area. He broke one of his antlers in the fall and started whining and belching.
Michelle ran out of the bathroom half naked with Tylenol pills falling out of her pussy. "What the fuck happened you little bastards?!" screamed Michelle.
Bob turned around and squirted cum all over Michelle. She kicked Bob in the ballsac and threw him out of the kitchen. "Bob you dumbshit!" cried Michelle.
Tim wailed on the floor, and Michelle picked him up, shoving him against her boobs. "Mommy's going to make things better." She said, and then shoved Tim's face into Bob's cum, and screamed at him. "Eat it! It'll fucking make you stronger!" she screamed and started fingering herself.
Tim struggled and got away, belching and grunting all the way to his room. "Mom, what the fuck is wrong with you?" asked Charlie. "I think you have some sort of psychosis brought on by delusional schizophrenia mixed with crazy bitch disease."
"Yeah, well get back to work you fucking poindexter!" screamed Michelle, as she rushed back in the bathroom.
Later, they were all eating dinner at the table. Bob was upstairs taking a shit. Charlie was graphing ways in which he could try to build a time machine. Tim was eating some new kind of Deer Chow which had enhanced vitamins and minerals for small deer.
All of a sudden, the table and ground started shaking, and the ceiling broke apart. The toilet came crashing through, hanging upside down on the ceiling. Bob came down with it, shit water and terds and stuff all landing on the table. A gallon of cum, mixed with PlayDoe action figures also came raining down and splashed all over the table.
Some of the mess got into Tim's food, and he got really mad. "Mom!! Bob's stupid dumb ass fucking clogged the toilet again!!!"
Somewhere in the forest.....again.
Deer was sitting in the grass, watching as his dick did tiny flipflops and coughed.
He had caught Whooping Dick Cough!
"Goddamn fucking skunks! They can all die in dicksucking fag asses!" he screamed, and was heard by a raccoon who was in the vicinity.
The raccoon was squealing its head off, as it had a case of explosive diarrhea, so Deer heard it too. Fart noises and sounds of shotguns echoed through the forest as the raccoon screamed as its asshole almost died, blood squirting onto a tree nearby, turning the bark even more brownish.
Deer smiled.
Raccoon shit was always a cure for Dick Coughs. However, before Deer could get to the raccoon, it gave one last final squeal before it imploded, sending chunks of ass and shit flying all over the place.
Deer frowned.
He licked the ass chucks off his cheek and bounded through the woods once again. Suddenly, his ass squirmed, and he opened up his ass plug and out plopped a dead squirrel, its face rotted off with particles of shit clinging to it.
Deer then noticed that his dick felt better. "Well, guess it wasn't that skunk after all!" smiled Deer, and ran onward into the woods..........
Somewhere in the Middle East....
A man was standing in the middle of the street, trying to convince people that toothpaste was an excellent alternative to toilet paper, when a policeman walked up behind him.
"I'm sorry sir, but your ass is blocking the way of smart people. We'll need to see some credentials and also a sample of your tartar control ass floss!" said the cop.
The man shivered. "Allah blessed me with Testicalus Conujungtivitus! He say all my meat should be in a llama! Blessed Allah for a deer of molesting proportions!" screamed the man.
The cop looked surprised. "Did you say a deer? Hmmmm...it sounds familiar, but I was jacking off in class today, so I guess I'll have to think about it when I take a shit! Come with me towelhead! You'll get your llama!"....................but he never did..........
The city.............0400 hours dumbshit p.m.
"Bob! Don't ever eat my fucking Ass cream ever again you little deer shit!" screamed Michelle, who had found her ass cream smothered in cum.
Bob grunted, as he danced around the kitchen with his PlayDoe assault vehicle complete with Denna Doeson soldier kit. Charlie was in the living room watching a show about mitosis. Suddenly, there was a loud banging from upstairs.
Michelle ran upstairs, fuming as she went, her pussy hairs trailing the floor. "Tim! Turn that fucking t.v. down or I'm going to grind up your balls and feed them to Bob!" she screamed, and flung open Tim's door.
He was sitting there, jumping up and down on his bed, smacking himself in the head. "Mom! Mom! There's a new Steve Irwin Movie out! Can we go see it?" asked Tim, his deer eyes bulging.
Michelle smirked. "That fucker? God damnit! I thought you liked Jeff Corwin and his snake molesting show where he shoves snakes in and out of his fucking ass in front of tribesman?!" cried Michelle.
"No Mom! That faggot killed himself last week. He tried putting an anaconda in his ass and it fucking ate him! Can we go?" yelled Tim.
"Maybe, but if alligators shit in it then we can't go because that fucking shit is too graphic for you little fuckers! GOD DAMNIT BOB!!" screamed Michelle as she noticed blobs of cum all over Tim's room.
"Mom! That's mine......it......" said Tim, settling down. "God Damn fucking deer, you little bastards jack off all the time and shit everywhere!" she screamed and walked out of Tim's room, and tripped over Bob, who had set his t.v. in the middle of the hallway to watch PlayDoe.
"You little bastard Bob faggot!" screamed Michelle, and she kicked him and his t.v back into Bob's cum filled room, Bob grunting and belching all the way. Suddenly, Charlie came rushing up the stairs and ran into Michelle, and stabbed her pussy with his antlers. "Charlie! You fucker! I'm on my period god damnit!" she screamed and then ran downstairs to grab the Neosporin, which she shoved up her vagina..............