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This story contains sexual acts between two males, one of whom is way underage. If you're under eighteen, prone to be disgusted by anything even vaguely resembling pedophilia, or not exactly in favor of moderately homosexual encounters, now would be a good time to bookmark this page and turn away until you feel more like you don't fit in any of those groups. t3h p05t, 4 j00.

I sat in my bedroom, thinking. I had tried this all once before and met with utter failure. There was much in the world that needed changing, and much as I tried, I had been largely unsuccessful in my attempts to yield truth from gossip, thought from action, and life from existence. The political world was oblivious to the spiral path it cut towards a black hole center with its welfare programs and affirmative action (for deer and others whose non-anthro analogues were herbivores, mostly) and war.

The problem all lay with human psychology. People are too much in the present. They don't live in the future, like I do. They don't realize that the reason things are as bad as they are is that they live in a future created by the past; things are on a negative curve because they were set there and not fixed before and the way to fix them is not to multiply what was done wrong and steepen the path downward. If people would step up and realize that ultimately, sacrifices must be made for the good of the human race, things could get better, because unless total socialism is found to work in any way whatsoever (an impossibility made so by human greed, lust, and sloth), Darwinism and capitalism were required to win out simply because otherwise, those who were not the fittest would continue to survive and those who were fitter and felt philanthropic would continue to contribute resources to the hopeless salvation of the weak and lethargic.

What was the solution, though? The only thing to be done was to inflitrate the government at every level and en masse and frankly, not only did I not want to deal with politics, but I didn't want to force anyone else to deal with it either. We could, of course, do like "Fight Club" and create a frighteningly capable organization all across the country without anyone realizing what was happening until tremendous and violent revolution occurred, but that seemed like something I would be unable to control. Instead, I needed a relatively small, focused unit which would propagate and expand by withdrawing the economy into private accounts which would then be used to fund only the elite. By taking advantage of economic loopholes, I could reach out to the world and, one by one, form an army of people whose ideals, if not identical to mine, would surely resonate in a bond strong enough to reformulate the global social atmosphere.

Once that happened, we could begin with the capitalism. It would be brutal, it would be psychologically taxing, and it would be long, but we could do it, with me in charge. At however old I was at the time, I knew enough about the human psyche and the reactions one could engender so that I could mobilize the unit I chose into an action that would spread across the world. There would be losses; we would eliminate people we should not have.

The polio vaccine murdered ten people before it was perfected.

When my thoughts had gone as far as they realistically needed to at the time, Silvir knocked lightly on the door. "Dad? Can I come in and talk to you?"

"Sure; hold on a minute." I hastily put some pants on. It was fairly late at night; give me a break. Ges was watching TV with Lioen downstairs. "Come on in."

Silvir opened the door quietly, stepped in, and closed it softly behind him before turning to look at me. He looked confident, but his voice was embarrassed. "Dad, I- I feel a little uncomfortable. First Ges, and then Lioen... I don't know, it just feels... weird, with the two of them both coming in so quickly. And... what are you doing with Lioen? Ges made sense, but Lioen is... Dad, he's just some guy off the street." He kept his voice quiet, but his eyes beseeched me. "What is he doing here, again?"

I recalled Lioen's introduction to Silvir. We walked in the door and my son, a floor and two rooms away, immediately called down, "Dad, who is that with you?" The boy could sense a spell and the nature of it far better than I ever could at his age.

"Maybe it's your birthday present; why does it have to be a person?" I knew that wouldn't work with him.

"Right. Because birthday presents need a full signature guard and a bio-shield sewn into their invisibility cloaks." Apparently, I would need an inversion-compressor coupled with those from now on so at the very least, all he would see was a black hole. Maybe I could just integrate them with an anti-familial phase shift instead. That would probably be easier, with him able to see my blocking mechanisms so clearly.

"You're way too good at this, boy. Now come down here and meet Lioen." I then remembered that Lioen didn't have clothes, and the cat turned a gaze of complete horror on me. "Scratch that! Gimme a minute or two."

"Dad, did you bring a naked person into the house?! What is wrong with you?!" Now let me explain: I don't bring naked people into the house, ever. He's just that good.

I hurried to the clothes-dryer and found a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt for the leopard. He hastily put them on and I finally dropped the shield. "You can come-"

He was already stomping down the stairs. "What, did you find clothes for him or did you just get lazy?" Silvir rounded the corner into the room and saw Lioen. The instant he noticed the person's age and strong posture (posture is very important in rating a person's character), he grinned and offered his hand. "Hey, what's up? I'm Silvir."

"H-hey." Lioen took the hand and shook it. "I'm Lioen." He was suddenly shy. How strange... maybe he was self-conscious about his past employment, afraid of exactly how perceptive the wolf was. "Lioen Treffinger."

I broke in. "Lioen's going to be staying with us for a while, and I need to talk with you about something later tonight, Silve. I'll go get dinner ready."

I won't say the two got along swimmingly, given the shyness Silvir inherited from his parents and the reserve Lioen practiced because I had thrust him so carelessly into the situation. They did, however, form a bond based on the chance occurrence that Silvir, having lived with me for so long, had about the same wry sense of humor which I had seen echoed in Lioen.

So here Silvir stood. And he had asked me his question- why, indeed, was Lioen here?

I folded my hands and rested my chin on them for a moment, gathering my thoughts. "Silvir, you know how strong my opinions are on the state of youth today, right?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah. I know."

"Lioen was a street whore for many years before today. When I found him, he was on the brink of death and only survived because I revived him. When I did, I assessed his situation. He has no reliable parents and no financial backing whatsoever. He dropped out of school because of the pressure of living with his choice of occupation. When I revived him, he told me that he was willing to take the steps to pull himself out of the pit he dug himself. All I'm doing is giving him a ladder, if you will."

Silvir nodded as I spoke, especially making sure his features didn't change in the beginning. "So... what? Are you going to adopt him? Is he boarding with us? What's really going on?"

"I called your brother and sister earlier tonight. Diam is all for it. You know him. 'Yeah, do it! Go, Dad, it's like you're Oprah!'" I rolled my own eyes and sighed.

"Like Oprah without the crazy religion." He smirked. "What did Aura think?"

"She was a little recalcitrant, like you, but in the end, she thought it couldn't hurt. Mostly, she was worried about you adjusting to the situation and my ability to make sure you didn't feel... uncomfortable, is the best way to put it." She thought that I, in my enthusiasm over doing something this new and strange to me, might shunt Silvir by accident. It was a reasonable concern, and I had thought a lot by this point about how to avoid it.

"Mm-hm." He had lost focus and was looking at the floor, thinking.

"You don't have to make a decision now, but I'm thinking of adopting him for the legal benefits. Not to sound all parenty, but I won't treat him like you or your brother or sister. He understands that if I go through with this, he's my student and boarder first, and my son second or third or whatever. I'd like to hear your thoughts over the next few days."

He nodded again. "That sounds reasonable. I mean, he seems like a nice guy, and I guess I kind of expected a really... dirty personality... from him. But he's not, so I guess..." He trailed off and cleared his throat, then looked at me, trying to act normal. "So would he be staying in Diam's room?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"What about school?"

"Well, I'll have to ask one of the administrative people at your school, but he's a junior, like you, so even though it's ridiculous for him to start now, so close to the end, I think I can get him enrolled for next year."

"And you'll spend the summer teaching him? Is that why you said he was your student?"

I nodded affirmatively. "Yep. He said he was willing to work all the way. Now I don't know if he has any business to attend to with his former occupation, but we do have to still figure out some things. Like, Social Security number, birth certificate, ID card; all that jazz."

He still didn't seem relaxed. I looked at him strangely. "What's bothering you?"

He glanced up at me in surprised innocence. "Wha? Oh, nothing, I just... I got you something today, and I kind of need to give it to you while we're alone..."

I looked at him even more strangely. "Well, the door is closed." What on earth did he mean? "Is this some sort of occasion?"

He started walking towards me, slowly, meeting my eyes oddly. "Some sort of one, you might say."

I allowed him to approach in silence as he held one hand behind his back and started swaying his hips. What the hell...?

Without giving me a chance to react, he fell into my lap, curled one paw around the back of my head, put the other on my back, and took my breath away with the most stunning, extraordinary kiss I had experienced since... since Teva left me.

I didn't push him away, but rather returned the embrace, closing my eyes and letting him take me away from where we were with the subtle magic his glistening, multi-colored head fur was producing, making sure to keep well in control of my senses. For a full minute he held me there, his tongue safely behind his teeth, his muzzle pressed warmly into mine, his paws caressing me... And I let him.

Finally, he backed slowly away, breaking the kiss against my will and looking down, spent, one arm held across his chest as he looked everywhere but at me. "Ha... Happy anniversary," he mumbled.

"Silvir..."

Perhaps I should explain why this makes sense to me and probably not to you. I'll back up some.

Teva and I were married for six years. During that time, she gave me two beautiful sons and a stunning daughter. Diam, the eldest, was seven years old when I noticed Teva developing odd behaviors. And then, as far as I knew, Teva died.

Believe me, I killed the person who I thought murdered her quickly. Not before destroying his life first, though. But I won't get into the details. Just know that I got away with it and was left broken for several months and forced to hide it for the sake of single parenthood.

Most of my friends told me after the first year that I needed to start dating again, that it was what Teva would have wanted. But let's be honest, people. Both of us knew that niether of us could possibly wed someone who was in any major way dissimilar to us. It was inconceivable; we wouldn't be able to live with it. And we aren't dumb people, so we know that the chances of finding eachother in the first place were approximately zero, and certainly finding others was out of the question.

I had managed to stay in touch with Voxis and Suli (also married; a tribute to my success and my wife's), and they agreed to look after the kids on the days I couldn't work from home. Luckily, those times were rare, given my position in the lab, my remote access to all the data, and my highly competent peers and underlings.

But this story is not about my grief, or how I dealt with it. This story is about me, a man who must continue to experiment, even with his own children, and said children. Teva and I were, especially, given to sexual experimentation. Nothing dangerous, obviously; we're scientists. We take precautions. We rationalize. We also spend a lot of time, because we are spiders, thinking about the human psyche and aesthetics. That is why this is an aesthetic story.

Unlike most parents, Teva and I wouldn't let Diam sleep with us until age seven, figuring that it would be interesting to see how he developed psychologically. We weren't evil; that is, if he did have a nightmare, one of us would sit by his bed until he fell asleep again. But he was never allowed in our bed between age one and a half and seven, so the urge really didn't seem to strike him that often. We let Silvir sleep with us pretty consistently, alternating days between his bed and ours. I thought it would be good for him to be near us at night, but it would also be good for him to learn not to become dependent on the two of us. Aura was never allowed in the bed after age four, to see exactly how independent we could make her. She grew up to be a strong woman.

When Silvir was five, I had put that ratio down to once every four days, and his Circadian rhythms had shifted accordingly; that is, he expected to have something to hold onto every four days (Something warm, I mean. I did give him stuffed animals; I'm a good father.) It wasn't until he turned six that he realized I was sleeping naked with him, something I had been doing with all of them, as had Teva.

Excuse me, all of you weird folks, but sleeping naked is ridiculously more comfortable than sleeping clothed. I learned that when I was fifteen, and as novel as my first time doing it was, I found that it was infinitely more enjoyable than waking up every morning tangled in night clothes. I was not about to change the ways I had had for fifteen years or so just for some little kid or another, and niether was Teva. Aura, obviously, never noticed, and when Diam did, I didn't make a big deal about it.

So Silvir asked me why I was naked. My response was much the same as the above argument. I prefer it. It's more comfortable. He was too young for me to be trying to tell him specifics of how to do personal things like how to sleep, so I kept it as objective as is possible with a six-year-old. The next night (I had determined he no longer necessarily needed me for comfort, and decided to let him choose when to sleep with me and when not to), he walked into my bedroom fully clothed after I had decided to go to bed, undressed, and climbed under the sheets. I stared at him from where I was for a good fifteen seconds, then offered no reaction good or bad, finished taking my shirt off, and joined him, wrapping my arms around him from behind as I had for two and a half years.

I realize some readers at this point are wondering just what kind of sick person I am, but I'm giving you only the facts. I did nothing of a sexual nature to him or even regarding him in all this time, never encouraged him to do anything having to do with sexuality (until he hit puberty, of course; then we had a nice chat in which I explained to him all the things a boy needs to know about not being stupid in middle school and high school). I did tell him that if he ever told anyone about this, we would never do it again, even though it was an empty threat; I love my son, and spending time with him makes my life better every minute of it.

This went on for four or five years. Oh, and before I forget, I did not lose my physique. Just so those of you who began imagining some almost middle-aged man, with the beginnings of a belly and shapeless arms, sharing a bed with his child, can be less disgusted, I'll let you know that in fifteen-odd years, I maintained rounded shoulders, hard-though-not-chiseled abs, and respectable thighs and calves. Teva used to make sure, at every opportunity, that I never forgot how much better-looking I was than so many other men, how I didn't necessarily bulge, but definitely impressed; this so I would never lose my self-confidence, which did tend to wane more than wax on that subject. In her memory, one of the many things I have tried to do is not allow my body to become lax. Hers was always perfect; I didn't want to be ashamed of myself.

Everything worked pretty well for those four (or five) years. I helped my children in school, sent them to daycare, and was able to work in my lab more often than before, so I could do more of the hands-on portions of the experiments. We were working on breeding flying sharks (like flying fish), and video footage of the things trying desperately to skim the surface and failing horribly were just not enough for me to fully enjoy. I mean, there were less frivolous things, too, but that was one of my greater entertainments.

All three of them did excellently in school, Aura only very slightly more so than the boys. Silvir lived up to his middle name of Razz well; he was a bit of a card, a bit theatrical, a bit musical. Made the same childhood mistakes we all did- forgot parent-teacher nights and open houses, brought the teacher a pet toad, drew outside the lines. All of that. He was not a good artist; he was a functional artist. Aura and Diam were good artists, but would never match Silvir's musicianship. His fur remained a shimmering, incredible slate gray, because I bought for him and he appreciated good shampoos. Other parents loved him, though a few were still afraid of me ever since Teva's murderer disappeared off the face of the earth two days after his wife divorced him, he was fired, and the bank forclosed on his house. I trained all three of them, molding them, shaping them as they grew, and trying my very best not to control them too deeply. They learned quickly, were placed in challenge programs, all the things good kids do. Played rec league soccer and basketball and whatever else. All that jazz.

However, as all kids do, Diam and Silvir hit puberty. So did Aura, but... I don't even want to describe trying, as a father, to deal with a girl hitting puberty. It was... oh, it was horrendous. The only time I bought a book on parenting. For Diam, it was a big deal, but I let him discover it all on his own. For Silvir, though, I was very necessarily involved because of the fact that even at that age, I still slept with him. He hadn't told anyone that he slept with his dad some nights, but that made sense. He'd be a laughing stock, and I'd get arrested because people are stupid. However, with puberty came both pride and shame, along with a more intimate knowledge of nakedness. As a result, he stopped sleeping with me nearly as much; dropped it to maybe several times a month, and certainly wore clothes, at least until he got in the bed, at which time he would take off his shirt and sometimes undress fully, but not often. Again, I didn't care; I only wanted to spend time with him, awake or not. If it had to be restricted to be continued, I welcomed the change.

Silvir, during this time, learned about erections.

Not from me. Well, not really. Occasionally, while he was in bed with me, I would start thinking about Teva. And problems would arise. Getting out of bed did not help. So I just lay there, letting him not care because he was in ignorant bliss. But then one day, he felt it. We were lying on the covers, and I was holding his back against me (I had actually taken the springs out of one part of the bed so the arm under him didn't go numb during the night), and it was dark, and I loved him so much. He is my son. And he asked me.

He asked me, "Dad?"

"Mmf." I was tired, but my mind was not. "Yeah?"

"What is that?"

My eyes glazed over. I had known this day would come. "What is what?"

"Is that your penis? Like an erection?" The boy was blunt.

"Yes." It was time to initiate the experiment, after nine years of raising him alone.

"Oh." There was a significant pause. "Aren't you supposed to get one when you really like someone, or think about... you know... sex?"

Way to listen in school, both in class and out. "Yes; I was thinking about your mother."

"Oh." I had already spoken with him about Teva, and why he didn't have a mommy like all the other kids. Diam hadn't had to be told, but both Aura and her younger brother did. It had been odd, to tell them that, even knowing, by then, that she was alive. "I guess you really liked her, huh?" he asked, with a wry smile in his voice. You know, the kind of wryness only kids can have because they don't yet know what wryness is? I've always thought it's insufferably cute and humiliatingly awkward anywhere but the home.

I scritched the back of his head behind his ears, admiring how soft the fur was. He really did keep it well. I smiled. "Yeah, I did. I really liked her. Loved her, in fact."

There was another long pause, filled by the sounds of our breathing. As he had grown, I had experimented with sleeping without sheets, to dispel the warmth, knowing Aura certainly wouldn't come in, but the way we had raised Diam, he could come in at any minute, naked or clothed or in a towel, for any reason. Diam was funny that way. Anyway. I waited patiently, knowing Silvir was probably not done with the conversation.

"And kids my age can just get them randomly? An erection, I mean?" This meant he had one, then.

"Mm-hmm. You've been listening in sex ed."

"Yeah."

I spoke as fathers do; explanatory, patient, and unquestionably knowledgeable. Women and men who don't know it yet, this is how guys speak to their kids. It's a certain tone of voice, a certain quality of... well, fatherly love, that you put in every word you speak. It warms your heart when you use it, to know that you have a reason to. "You'll be able to control them better, or at least understand them better when you're older. For now, it's just something that's a little embarassing, but at your age, no one can see when you have one unless you're wearing really loose shorts or if you're naked, so don't worry too much about it."

"Yeah."

I chuckled quietly to myself. I could remember conversations of about that level of one-sidedness with my parents. Blah, blah, blah, blah - Yeah - Blah, blah, blah, blah - Yeah. I shifted and snuggled him closer to me. "Go on to sleep; it's late." It was really only nine o'clock. But he didn't need to know that, and besides, that had been late for him only a few months ago. Now it was normal bed time.

I waited for a half hour, controlling myself, my breathing and heartbeat, and the smell of my perspiration, as well as possible. I was not calm. This was an alien thing to me; it was like the first time in a swim meet, or the first time fantasizing about sex. Juvenile things. And I was more than forty. And I was scared, because I had to be so careful, or I would ruin so much. And it wasn't like I got a second chance; as much as I regretted it from a scientific standpoint, Silvir was one of a kind. From an emotional standpoint, that was lovely to know, but occasionally, I did wish that it weren't so ethically miserable to clone and experiment.

When the given time period had elapsed, I knew he had fallen into a deep slumber, as he always seemed to. Cautiously, so cautiously, I slid my free hand down his silky chest until I reached his groin, disengaging his arms from mine. I then rubbed his belly tenderly, lovingly, until he let out an unconscious murr. Very gently, I touched his scrotum and held it loosely, running a smooth thumb over its surface, massaging the soft orbs. After a short time, his young body responded to even this slight sexual excitement and his member began to stiffen. Immediately, I encircled it with my hand, my own erection embarassingly hard against his very fluffy tail. In his dreams, though, he was oblivious. Once the fleshy rod had hardened completely and slipped out of his sheath, I began to slide my hand up and down its short, mostly humanoid length, using my wings to keep the room perspiration-preclusively cool. He moaned quietly in his dreams and began tentatively to thrust, but I knew that's where he was; he was not in bed with me. He was in some exotic, erotic dream or another by now (unless my knowledge of sleep phases is even less than I thought it was), enjoying a lovely lady's presence. Or possibly a boy's, but he was probably too young to have those ideas floating around.

It took some time, and I will not lie; my arm was tired by the end of it. Three quarters of the way through, he woke up, not entirely aware of what was happening. "Dad? What are you doing?" His eyelids were hardly even open.

"Don't worry," I murmured, freeing my other arm to stroke his head. He was moaning uncomfortably.

"That feels weird, Dad, what are you doing?" he said, more urgently as his arousal heightened. I'm sure my musk in the air was affecting him.

"I'm just trying something. If you really don't like it, I'll stop. I promise." And I paused in my motions, my own erection responding to the pulsing of his on my hand.

He took a moment to answer, but then said, "No, keep going. It's like..." He trailed off, and I could guess at his thoughts. He wanted to know the end result.

I made a withering mock-frown he couldn't see. "Okay. Just relax; everything's fine."

Starting again, I slowly brought him to the next level of the sensation- he could feel, by now, the high-energy sensitivity of the nerves just under his member's head. "Nnm...nn.... Hnn, Dad, what is... ? Hnmmn hhh! Dad, what's...! What's happennnnning?" His eyes were closed, and we were moving in rhythm now, though my stimulation was minimal; this wasn't for me.

"You're approaching orgasm. In a little while, you'll feel very odd." I didn't elaborate, but instead continued scratching his ears as he squirmed against me with no clue how he was supposed to react to this completely new sensation.

"Nnh h-h-h-hh..." He was mostly inarticulate, but I think you get the picture. He breathed sharply and in gasps, making no noise beyond breathing after a while. Then, I felt what I was holding harden further in time with his heartbeat and his young body shuddered against me while I wrapped my free arm around him and held his no-longer-virgin member in my hands, pushing my member satiatingly against his tail and looking at how tight his young orbs had gone, and the amount he had cum, just observing it all for observation's sake.

I breathed into his ears, getting a reflexive twitch from one. "That was an orgasm, and this is another thing you can't tell anyone."

Gasping for breath, he nodded affirmatively. "Mm-hmm."

Still speaking softly, "Let me get a paper towel; I'll clean this up."

I extracted myself from our positions, hoping dearly he would not notice the precum on his tail, and got a paper towel from the bathroom to clean up the mess. While I did so, he alternated between watching me and fingering his shaft and testicles, just inspecting them. I noticed during the former, his eyes were riveted on my slowly-deflating penis.

"Is that what it's always like? An orgasm, I mean." he asked.

I nodded. "It can feel better or worse, but that's the gist of it."

"So you can have one too."

Nod.

Pause.

"Could you have one now? I just wanna see- my eyes were closed." What a scientist, already.

"Think about what you just asked," I murmured. "You want to watch me masterbate?" I cocked an eyebrow at him and smirked.

His cheeks reddened. "Oh... no, I guess not."

"Good." I disposed of the towel and crawled back in behind him. "You know, you can do it yourself, though I don't encourage making it a habit."

He pondered this and nodded. "Yeah." I sighed happily, smiling slightly behind him. I must have done something right in my life, to have this child.

"Dad, what if I..."

This was unexpected. I nuzzled the space between his shoulder and neck. "What if you what?"

Instead of answering immediately, he began to rotate himself. Slowly. When he realized I wasn't resisting, he completed the turn and lay his head against my chest as I rolled more towards my back to let him. I scratched his neck and kissed the top of his head, then squoze him tightly against me as he snuggled in closer, hugging me.

"Sure," I whispered, and he murred sleepily in response.

We rested sweetly that night.

He asked me to do it again the next night (jack him off, not me, and as cutely as possible) and I refused. I would not have him become dependent on me for that. However, a month later, after repeating the process once and that time letting him do the same to me, we were once again in bed, chests pressed against one another, when I decided to initiate the next phase. Once again, I waited until he was asleep before disengaging his arms. This time, I kissed his neck and chest while he slept, rolling him onto his back and then massaging his sides and thighs while my kisses and licks dropped lower, lower, until the dips of his legs led me to his groin and the soft sheath there.

With a gentle pressing of his balls and a few licks of the furry scabbard, I managed to draw forth his shaft. The instant it made its appearance, I began running my tongue over it, and this time, he did not wake up. While I quietly licked him, he humped softly against my lips, moaning unconsciously while I flickered my tongue round him, holding his entire length in my mouth, pulling his young sexuality to orgasm in mere minutes. I swallowed the juice, cleaned him off, and thought about letting it end like that.

Then I decided against it.

Instead, I slid his body down the sheets, straddled him carefully, and knelt over his muzzle. With some choice strokes along his throat and cheeks, I guided my burning member down into his mouth and awaited pleasure. The strokes on his throat would put him in mind of childhood, and the presented shaft would remind his deepest instincts of a mother's breast. He would be getting a very different milk, though.

It wasn't long before the processes I had counted on took over. He grabbed my thighs and began earnestly sucking at my member, eliciting a few moans of surprise from me before I finally controlled myself. He only bit once, before my precum began to flow, and once that happened, he sucked greedily until my orgasm finally awoke him, choking and spluttering. Before he could wake up or recover, I had rolled him over and kissed him passionately on the lips, licking my cum out of his mouth.

Then, I maneuvered my hips, while he began to open his eyes to see who or what was kissing him so deeply, and pushed my well-lubricated shaft between his butt cheeks so it lay sandwiched in the cleft and spread those soft glutes around it. I hadn't planned on having sex with him; I just wanted to see his reaction to this.

"Dad, what are you doing?" he asked in a frightened voice. I know it must have felt like I was wiping his butt. When that thought occurred to me, I immediately had to to come up with something else to keep my hard-on. How eww.

"I'm experimenting," I answered truthfully.

"On me?"

I nodded. "I am nearly inside you, Silvir. I could be fully inside you, but I don't think you're ready for that; not for a few more years."

He trusted me. He had to trust me. He had been sleeping in my bed since he was four; he had literally no choice but to trust me. And so he clung to me and murred into my chest while I very slowly, gently, began to thrust under him. This went on for a few slow moments before he spoke again.

"Are you having sex with me, Dad?"

I thought about it and shook my head, loving the warmth of his body against mine, the complete faith in my goodness with which he clung to me. I wasn't going to cum on him; the rhythm, I knew, would calm him. "Not really, but kind of, I guess."

"Why?"

"What do you feel right now, Silvir?"

I stopped moving while I waited for an answer. It came, but slowly. "I feel like... like you're folding me up in you." He squirmed a little around my shaft. "It feels really good."

I nodded yet once more, and resumed, much more slowly, pushing a little bit harder, a little steadier. It was so frustrating to stimulate only the back of my member; I swushed his tail down so I could get some friction from it. I had allowed my knot to form, and wanted to feel that within him; wanted him to feel it. But that would have to wait for another night. "What I want you to do, Silvir, is I want you to realize that that is a very physical thing you're feeling. You shouldn't connect it with emotions like being spiritually full or empty. What you feel is nothing but nerve impulses. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, but... I still don't want it to stop."

"Just go back to sleep; I'm going to stop soon, but to be very honest, I want to go to sleep with you like this."

He nodded softly, his eyes closed. "If you... if you did have sex with me, would it hurt?"

I smiled at his closed eyes. "Probably, but not much, but that's only because it's me. For now, just relax and don't worry about it. And know that you should never let someone touch you like this unless you know them as well as you know me."

"Okay. It feels really weird, but... I don't know, it also..." He snuggled against me again, wrapping his arms all the way around me in a hug. "It feels good."

I smiled again. It had worked; to him, this wasn't sex, but something else entirely. Something he shared with only me. This was our forbidden, dark, lovely secret. It wasn't because I wanted the sex that I did this, you understand; it was because I wanted to see if I could create for him a version of sex that did not equate with animal desire. Later, I would expand that to actual penetration. He was, as I had told him, a test subject for my own psychological experiments. Yes, he was my son, but I knew this wasn't hurting him.

His breathing deepened and steadied, and I began to hump as softly as possible, knowing it was the only good way to finish up; if I tried to sleep, I might hurt him or me, responding to dreams. (A certain scene in The Invisible Man had scarred me.) So I thrust in frustratingly slow rhythms until I was shuddering with the effort of not ramming him like a doll. Finally, I came on the sheets and let the liquid lay there, the musk permeating the air. I would change them the next day.

He was so beautiful, and he was my son. My son, with whom I slept and whose introduction to the difference between sex sex and play sex was now almost complete. I enfolded him tightly against me, and fell asleep still with him, spent.

We developed a cycle. He still spent most nights in his bed and the majority of the time in my bed in complete innocence, just being together. Every third time he shared my bed, we did something simple, sometimes that didn't even end in orgasm. I remember one time, we were again chest-to-back, and this time I had fallen asleep, getting no response from him for anything, when he squirmed around quietly in my arms, grabbed my cheeks, and kissed me as hard as he knew how, gently prying open my jaws to thrust in his tongue, even locking mouths with me before I finally realized what was happening and reciprocated. He broke off first and kissed my neck, and my chest, and my nipples, and my bellybutton, and found himself blocked by my erect member from getting to my waist, making childish "mwah" sounds every time. He kissed that instead, once, then wriggled his way boyishly back into my embrace and smiled. I think he was thanking me, or at least letting me know that he really, honestly felt that this was a good thing.

We actually spent a lot of time on kissing. He wanted to know how to kiss a girl, and though I was worried this might result in him saying, at some point, "My dad taught me to blah blah blah kiss," I obliged him and taught him what I knew. By showing him. He learned the right way to grab the back of someone's neck during the kiss, or to stroke their ears or faces if they enjoyed it, how to respond to slight shifts from the other person, height discrepencies, where your tongue could, should, and shouldn't go, where to touch them during this and what it would convey; everything I knew. And through that, I got some damn good kisses- he learned well.

The only sex we had for the next two months was fellatio and rimming (always with a cleansing pill; otherwise, it's nasty), which he seemed to enjoy, the two times it happened. Niether of us was flexible enough for autofellatio, but that doesn't mean we didn't try. And then, with no warning, he stopped coming to bed with me. For two years. I questioned him once, after he hadn't joined me for several months.

"Silvir?" He was sitting at the kitchen table and I was pouring myself orange juice.

"Yeah?" He didn't meet my eyes; we were close enough that even my skills could not hide the fact that a serious conversation was coming.

"Anything wrong, recently?"

"No, nothing more than the usual."

"School's okay, budding psychological processes okay, girls okay, friends okay?"

"Check, check, check, and check. I mean, assuming 'okay' means that I can handle it alone."

He had gotten good at this, living around me- that stung. At the same time, though, I was glad that I had created an independent human being so quickly. "I was just wondering- I think you know why."

A very slight tension had built in the past month, without either of us mentioning his choice, and I was using this to dispel it. He knew that, and rolled with it. Not before hesitating, though. "I dunno, it just started to feel... wrong, you know? Because I know no one else does it. I can look into their eyes, when I talk to them..." I cocked an eyebrow, and he returned a withering expression. "I'm not stupid, Dad, not about that. But when we make jokes and things, I can tell they don't do this, and it feels weird, but good, I mean... I don't think anyone else can say they have someone to hold onto if they need it, but I felt like... I was becoming dependent on it." His voice was beginning to break, so I just watched, silently, while he collected himself. He was bending the truth. I didn't know what part of it, but he was bending the truth at me, somehow. That's why it was both hard for him to say it and not entirely factual. If it had been a total lie, he wouldn't have even started phase one- shuddering breath- of crying. "Sorry."

"Not a problem."

He was back in control. A remarkably talented youth. "Well that's good. But I just want to know if I really love you, if it will really hurt to not sleep with you, or if it's just something you've done to me, or- I don't know how to explain it. I guess- I want to see if I still love you without it, or, or if it actually feels good, or if I just think it does because I've grown up with it." He looked at me, finally. "I need to know how independent my brain is of yours."

I should have known this would come, but I had forgotten about it, being so caught up in making sure he was comfortable with what we did that I forgot this kind of thing, these questions, would assault him in an overnight process; things like this were not nearly as slow as they are sometimes portrayed.

I looked at him for several moments while he breathed slowly and carefully, his face not betraying one emotion, same as mine, though he had turned away again. "That's not entirely the truth."

"You're right. Even though you're not; I just happen to know what you mean." There was more to it that he felt didn't need telling.

I finally walked over and knelt down by his chair. I didn't touch him. Yet. "That is incredibly mature of you. Especially for your age, that is ridiculously mature. I want you to know how proud I am of you, for considering this. I will tell you, though, that I did start the entire thing. You continued it, but I started it, so if you feel that it's wrong, when you finish thinking about it, put the blame on me. You know by now that until a year or two ago, as a parent, I had total control over you, because of your age and not having Teva here. So if all else fails, you can blame it on me."

He smiled and glanced at me, once. "Barenaked Ladies."

I grinned. "Just quoting them." He let out a laugh and I stood back up, ruffling his hair. "Just don't fail any classes over this."

"Oh, come on, you're not that important."

"Pblt!" I blew a raspberry at him and walked off.

So that was why, that night, after the first kiss, when he jumped me and started unbuttoning my jeans and pulling them down as he kissed me, I was extremely pleasantly surprised. I leaned backwards, letting him part with me to get the clothes, including my briefs, out from around my ankles. He licked from my testicles across my stiffening member and up my chest to the hard line of my sternum and then all, so slowly along my neck until he finally reached my lips again and tightened his grip until his member was grinding hard through his clothes against mine.

Unfortunately, my experiences from the day had somewhat tampered with my perception of sex, and I didn't want to make something awkward by not enjoying what he so clearly wanted to give me, if him guiding my hands to take off his shirt and start with his belt loop were any hint. So I rolled with him, sending signals that tonight was a bad night but encouraging him all along, pushing my muzzle back against his, stroking my arms over his back, arching sensually as he crawled on me... Everything to make him know he was appreciated.

He got the message, but decided to fall on me for a while, anyway. "So I was doing some thinking," he started, his head resting on my chest where we lay on the bed and his eyes staring at nothing.

"Were you?" I ran one finger through his hair.

"And I realized that I really, really enjoy this."

"Good, good."

"But I don't think of it really as a sexual relationship. It's just something I can do to show you how much I love you." He smirked, and I chuckled at how objectively he was saying that. "And I'm glad you taught it to me and let me do this. Why didn't Diam or Aura ever get treated this way?"

"Well... Aura for obvious reasons. I imagine if Teva had been around, it might have been different. Diam, though... he received a different exposure than you. When he was, I dunno, thirteen, maybe, I started watching pornos with him. He was already used to sleeping with me nude, so it's not as though the sexuality came out of nowhere."

"Wait... he was?" He shifted his head and furrowed his brow, confused.

"Yep. I made sure to be very careful of what nights he came in so the two of you didn't introduce confounding variables into the situation."

"So... we really were experiments, then."

"Well, not entirely. You're all still my children, whom I love. I just didn't see a reason to pass up a perfectly good opportunity to investigate child psychology."

He relaxed again. "That makes sense, I guess. I'll let you know that I am a little hurt about how little you told us all. Aura doesn't know about any of this, does she?"

I shook my head. "Not if I did this right. There was a lot of magic used to keep the three of you from becoming entangled. I'm sorry you feel hurt; I hope it heals over."

"Oh, it has already. I just felt like you needed to know that. Dunno why."

"Hm," I affirmed. We lay there for a few moments before he finally sighed and got up, saying, "Anyway. I think we should keep Lioen. I want to see what happens with him."

I sat up and met his eyes, nodding. "Good. I'll ask you again in a few days to get corroborating evidence, double check with your siblings, and get some papers done."

"And Ges? I assume you're going to start researching it soon?"

My expression became thoughtful. "I'll have to use a company computer for the IP address, so it occurs to me that if you want to try to look up what he is on your own computer, it wouldn't hurt."

"I'll think about it. Anyway. Sorry if this came as a surprise; I didn't know if it was appropriate for your anniversary or not."

"Oh, no," I grinned. "You're almost a better reminder of your mother than Aura."

"Dad," he rolled his eyes. "I'm alrady probably the only guy who has ever made out with his dad. Don't make this creepy." He smirked, and I shoed him out of my room.

"Good night, Silvir."

"'Night, Dad."

God, I love my family.