FSE

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formerly SoFurry search engine

It's... been a while since my last entry... A couple of days, I think. But I'll try to start back at where I left off.

That night I dreamt more about being human again. Back to my old self... I dreamt about Jessica, and spending time with her. We had a few drinks, and then we had a bit of intimate time afterwards. When I woke up, though, I found myself where I had been last night... Sprawled out on a dirty old mattress as a lizard girl. I whimpered, finding a huge wet spot under my crotch. Dreaming of male sex only made my reawakening into the real world that much harder. It was like I was experiencing waking up as a woman for the first time all over again.

I ate the food and drank the water they had left for me. They'd left them in bowls, like some kind of animal, but thankfully I managed to wriggle my arms free last night. I was still handcuffed, but oh well, I could still eat with my hands. At least they left me a toilet, even though having to sit down to pee still felt just wrong. Swallowing was a little painful, thanks to the huge leather collar around my neck. I fiddled with it a little bit, finding indeed that the clasp had a lock over it, ruining any attempts to get it off. I just curled up, sad and frustrated, missing my beloved dearly.

They didn't leave me to my misery for very long. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb both barged into my room, finding me all curled up. I said nothing to them as they teased me, Ivan taking the time to undo my handcuffs and reapply them behind me once more. "We'll get you something a little more secure later. Maybe if you're a good girl, we won't have to bind you at all." No, I refused to be a 'good girl' for them. Still, there wasn't much point putting up any fuss against them at the time.

They dragged me back over to their sex dungeon, where they bent me over the table once more. Stevo was impatient, wasting no time whipping his dick out and shoving it right into my wet cunt from behind. He laughed, "Ooh, girl's already soaked. Been dreaming about us, love?" He asked.

"Uungh... F-fuck you..." I snapped, not realizing how poor a choice my words were at the time.

Ivan laughed, "Ha ha! That's the idea." He pet my head and held my tail up as Stevo shoved himself in and out of me rapidly. I just braced myself, once again trying in vain to avoid moaning for them, and once again failing. I blushed deeply, trying to remind myself that it was my body's natural reaction to it. It didn't help much, since I still felt ashamed as he rammed his shaft into me. I think I was gaining some kind of resistance to it at least, since it took me a little longer to actually climax that time. I was only a few moments ahead of him in fact.

I felt him flood me again, taking a moment to reach down and slap my ass, giving it a firm squeeze afterwards. I just let my head rest against the table, panting and shaking again, once again thoroughly humiliated. "Hm hm hm. Look at her. You want more, don't you slut?" Ivan asked me, lifting my head up by my chin.

"Nnngh... No... I don't w-want this..." I pleaded, sincerely. I didn't want to feel this pleasure anymore. I just wanted it to hurt, for me to hate it. I DID hate it, but my damned body kept confusing my senses, drowning my mind in hormones and instincts.

"Your pussy says otherwise, love." Stevo said, rubbing my slit, gently. I clenched my teeth, managing to swallow down a moan before it escaped me. Ivan just rubbed under my chin, like an affectionate pet, looking deeply into my eyes.

When he spoke, his voice was actually fairly sympathetic, "I see it in her eyes. Something we don't usually see in these lizard people. Shame You are ashamed, aren't you? I understand." He asked me. I'm sure my expression told him all he needed to know, since I felt tears well up in my eyes again. I pulled my head away from him, breaking eye contact. "Well, don't be. You are not human anymore, but now you are a beautiful, lovely creature." I felt him stroke my hair. His words only made me feel worse about the whole situation though...

Stevo pulled me back onto my feet, and Ivan stepped around the table to admire my body again. He gently caressed my hips, running his hands up my sides and eventually cupping my breasts. I could remember doing the same thing to Jessica... "See, you are a beautiful, sexy thing. If you are good, you can be happy, well taken care of. And you can satisfy that itch between your legs we both know you have."

Fat tears ran down my muzzle, since part of me felt he was right. That I should just give up and accept my new life. But I couldn't do that... I had too much self-respect to do that. I didn't care what they did to my body. I was still Zack Morris, Goddamnit, and they wouldn't take that from me. Ivan shook his head a little, somehow able to tell that I was resisting his advice. "Or, you can be difficult, and we will beat and fuck it out of you. It's your choice. Get her on her knees."

I felt Stevo push me down, and I was far too weak to resist the weight he was placing on my shoulders. I fell into a kneeling position, realizing that Stevo was holding me at eye-level with Ivan's waistline. Oh God... My stomach churned when he started to speak. "I will take the cuffs off you, if you suck my cock. No biting, no fuss. It's simple. Alright?" He reached down and forced me to look up at him when I refused to talk. "Alright?"

I desperately wanted the cuffs off... I felt them digging into my wrists and I was already sick of the restraint. But to willing just open up and suck another man's dick? That was a blow to my ego I wasn't sure I could take. What scared me more was that part of me wanted to jump a the chance, but I was at least able to stifle that urge easily enough. This might be a good chance to at least get back at them a little bit though...

I nodded a little bit, my cheeks flushing hard. He smiled, "Good." Ivan undid his belt and unzipped his jeans, letting his erect shaft spring free. I gulped hard, having second thoughts already. I didn't know what I should do anymore. He grabbed my hair, actually being careful not to hurt me, urging my head forward towards his dick. I braced myself, slowly opening my mouth...

I think he knew what I was attempting to do, though... He must've seen it coming... As I snapped my jaws towards his cock, attempting to bite him, hard, he pulled his hips back. In the same motion, he let go of my head, using the same hand to swing around and bat me across the jaw, hard. God he was strong... I can still feel the side of his hand slamming into my snout, gashing the inside of my lips against my own teeth. Worse, the other side of my head slammed into the edge of the table, sending it sliding across the floor as I collapsed to the ground.

My head was spinning, and I could barely make out what they were saying. I think Stevo was getting on Ivan's case for damaging me more than he was supposed to. I had no idea what they were talking about until my vision started coming to and I started trying to get up. I was bleeding from the mouth and just a few feet from my head was most of my left canine tooth. My heart jumped a little bit and my long tongue searched my jaws for it, confirming that it was gone.

Ivan didn't relent however, as he grabbed me by the snout and held my mouth shut. "Bad girl! Could've taken my dick off!" He shouted, yanking me to my feet. My entire mouth was throbbing, and since he was holding my jaws shut I had no choice but to choke down the blood pooling in my muzzle. My vision was still a little blurry as he yanked me up and towards one of the cabinets, but it wasn't long until I felt some kind of leather strap slip around my snout and then get pulled tight.

He buckled it in place and let go, leaving me completely unable to even budge my jaws. I shuddered, a little glad that they were actually hurting me instead of pleasuring me, and getting a bit of weird self-satisfaction with forcing them to damage their new pretty little slave. He looked me over quickly and pulled my lip back from the gap where my canine was dislodged. "... It'll grow back in." He said, letting me go again. Part of me was relieved, but more of me was disappointed...

"You are a bad, BAD girl." He said, fidgeting with my handcuffs again. I was surprised to feel them come loose, but he held my wrists tight. Stevo came over to help him and I realized I wasn't really getting off easy. They fitted a few leather cuffs, as thick as my collar and twice as wide, around my wrists. I heard a metallic clinking noise and they let go of me. These new cuffs were a lot more comfortable, I had to admit, but they were even more limiting. They didn't have hardly any slack and I doubted I could just slip my hips over these...

"Yeah, she's a bad girl. I think it makes this more fun though." Stevo said, smiling down at me. He grabbed me around the neck with one arm, the other arm reaching down to fondle my clit. I grimaced and squirmed, feeling him dragging me back towards that table. "I think you need to apologize to Ivan, girlie."

The strap around my snout held my jaws shut, but didn't keep my lips from moving much, so I just growled, "No..." Stevo just glared at my but Ivan couldn't help but smile.

"You're a fighter, you are." Ivan said, following us as Stevo lifted me back onto the table and held my shoulders down against it. "But it's okay. I'll just take the apology out of your cunt." My moment of pride was quickly fading as it dawned on me that my struggle had basically amounted to nothing. They weren't dissuaded whatsoever. I felt so weak, so powerless... And honestly, I was. I had never felt so vulnerable before.

Ivan got up on the table with me, grabbing me by the hips and pulling me on top of him, laying himself down and swinging me up at the same time, leaving me straddling his hips. His cock was still out, and the near-bite didn't seem to put him off. He grabbed my waist and lifted me up, then forced me back down and impaling me with his massive shaft.

I couldn't help but squeal, shivering as he just left himself hilted inside me, throbbing ever so slightly. He reached up and pulled at my nipples again, so hard that it hurt. But it was a good sort of hurt... a hurt that only made my body feel more anxious. He waited a moment before he let go and started to lift me up by my waist again, almost pulling me completely off his cock before letting me fall back down. I tried to brace my legs to keep from sliding back down him, but he just pulled me down anyway, making me groan and squirm again.

He kept it up for a few moments, forcing me up and down, making my tits bounce painfully in the process. I saw Ivan look past me to his friend and he smiled a wicked smile. I craned my neck to see Stevo gently stroking himself, apparently ready for another go. "Come on, friend. She's got plenty of room." He said, reaching around me and pulling my tail up and exposing my... Oh God... my asshole for the other man.

I whimpered and squirmed, accidentally stimulating my filled slit even more as I felt Stevo's weight get added to the table. "Nnngh...! N-no!" I pleaded, a little bit muffled from the strap around my snout. My pleading was ignored as I felt his slimy cock push up between my ass cheeks. Ivan helped lift me and angle me so that he'd have an easier time penetrating my other hole, and Stevo wasted no time slipping himself right into my virgin ass.

I squealed. At first it hurt. It hurt like hell... but underneath it, more pangs of pleasure were creeping up my body. I heaved a sob, realizing that anal was going to feel as good as what I'd been subjected to already. They started fucking me hard, Ivan deciding to hold me a little more still and instead lift his hips up to meet mine. I whimpered and moaned loudly, feeling them pumping themselves in and out. I was right, being ass-raped was getting me almost as much pleasure as my other hole...

I kept squirming until Stevo wrapped his arms around my chest, getting me in a tight hug as he continued to pound me, his hips slapping against my ass hard. Somehow my tail managed to wrap around his waist, as if returning the hug for him. I just kept moaning, feeling blood trickling out of the corner of my mouth. I could feel their cocks sliding against each other inside me, separated only by a thin wall of flesh. It didn't take long before I started to climax yet again, losing yet more energy and willpower to another orgasm.

Ivan laughed, reaching up to pinch at my nipple again. "Ha ha. Your orgasm face. So cute." He teased, pinching hard and making me jolt. I opened my eyes, barely able to see through the tears, seeing that Ivan's shirt had a few red spots on it from the drips of drool and blood escaping from my muzzle. It didn't seem to bother him at all, as he just kept thrusting into me.

It seemed like it was taking forever... I don't remember clear but I think I came again before they finally stopped, just flooding both my holes with their cum. Stevo pulled out immediately after he was done, but Ivan stayed hilted inside me. He smiled, almost affectionately. "Mmm... I'm sorry I hurt you, little one. But you tried to hurt me much more, didn't you?" He scolded, poking my nose. "We'll continue this later. I need a break."

"Yeah, me too. Came twice this time, hahaha." Stevo helped pull me off of him, and they started marching me out of the room. As I walked I felt their cum oozing out of my abused holes, dripping down my thighs and making me feel sick again. Between the coppery taste of my own blood and the overpowering stench of their cum, I thought I was going to puke again. Thankfully, I held it down, and they set me back down on my bed.

"You keep the cuffs, and the muzzle. If you're good, we'll take them off of you next time." Ivan told me. I just curled up, not able to do much besides have a good cry. My hands were bound and I couldn't get them to a place where I could write, so I couldn't even catalogue everything in my journal... Thoroughly humiliated, I just tried to get to sleep, shivering from the chill. I couldn't remember it being so cold before... It must've been a change in the weather. It took me a while, but I fell asleep. Or passed out; I'm not sure...

I woke up a few times, and one of those times I woke up to find that someone had come in and thrown a warm blanket over me. They must've seen me shivering in my sleep. I dreamt about being human again, as if my mind was just desperately trying to remind me of who I was supposed to be... I don't know how much it was helping though, because it was making coping that much harder. Still, I was thankful for the show of kindness and curled up in my new blanket, finding that it was also covering the musk smell from my cum-stained thighs and tail. My asshole was still throbbing in pain, and I realized I was actually quite hungry. I managed to fall asleep again despite it though.

They kept the cuffs on me for a few days... At least I think they were days. My sense of time hadn't been fixed whatsoever. There were no clocks or calendars for me to even glance at in any of the rooms I was allowed to see. Regardless, they dragged me back to the dungeon, and tried to make me apologize for the attempted bite again. I refused, again, so they bent me over the table once more. This time, they had a different idea to punish me. Stevo grabbed my tail and lifted it upwards, to the point where I was basically dangling from it. Only the very tips of my claws were still touching the floor.

"Well then, my lovely, bad girl." Ivan teased, gently stroking my ass. "If you're going to act like a child, we'll punish you like one." He grinned at me as I craned my neck to try to see what he was doing. I saw him lift his hand, pause for a brief moment, and then bring it down right on my ass. Hard. I squealed and jolted, feeling a horrible sting race up my spine. I blushed hard; getting spanked was embarrassing on its own, never mind the pain...

But he didn't stop. Again and again, he slapped my left cheek, watching it jiggle with each slap. I couldn't see it, but I knew my rear must've been bruising something fierce, since each slap only hurt worse than the last. He moved on to my other cheek, like he was trying to even me out. Embarrassingly, my squeals of pain eventually evolved into outright hysterical sobbing. My pride hurt much, much worse than my rear though.

He kept at this for a few moments, spanking me again and again. I was just gasping between sobs and squeals of pain when I heard him move away from me. At first, I thanked my lucky stats that he had finished, until I heard the hauntingly familiar sound of his zipper going undone. I squealed and tried to pull away from him, but Stevo still had a tight grip on my tail. "Nooo..!" I whined through my muzzle, but he completely ignored me. Instead, he just pressed his shaft against my anus again, making me let out another excruciating sob. He thrust hard, immediately building up a rhythm and slapping his hips against my aching ass with each thrust.

The pain somehow made the pleasure even more unbearable. Each thrust made me whimper and made the sickness in my gut flare up that much harder. He grabbed my hips for more leverage, slamming himself against me seemingly as hard as he could, as if just to further abuse my injured body. What was worse, though, is that even despite the pain, despite the abuse and humiliation... I came anyway... Hard, too. I don't even understand why... Was my body really this hard-wired to be a pleasure toy...?

I felt him pull out of me, opting to squirt his load all over my butt rather than fill me up again. I thought it was impossible, but more shame crept into me as I felt his seed on my aching flesh actually seeming to help the pain a little bit... Ivan rubbed a finger against my nethers and walked around the table. Stevo finally let go of my tail, but I jolted and lifted it back up when I felt it touch the bruises on me. Ivan bent over, closer to my face. He chuckled and smeared my own juices right under my nostrils. God, it smelled so strong... I can't even really place it either... It just smelled like... pleasure...

"Heh heh. Poor little thing. Had enough...?" He asked me, stroking my head. I weakly nodded, just too exhausted, both mentally and physically, to fight him anymore. "Good." He undid the strap keeping my jaws shut. I breathed a sigh of relief, stretching my bottom jaw, trying to relieve the soreness that the restraint had left me with. "Are you ready to apologize, slave?"

I whimpered and a few tears rolled down my face. I thought about telling him to go to hell but my self-preservation instincts kicked in. "I-I'm sorry for trying t-to bite you..." I choked out. He smiled and pet my nose.

"I know you are... It's okay, I forgive you." I felt a pang of joy tug at my heart, but I quickly brushed it aside. Like hell if I'm going to be thankful for anything these monsters do to me... They undid the cuffs too, leaving me to realize how sore my arms were too. My whole body was just aching like mad...

They only kept me for another hour, maybe two. Stevo and Ivan double-penetrated me again, but at least left my mouth alone. It was probably because they still didn't trust me not to bite... I continued to refuse to be actively engaged in the sex, though. I couldn't stop them from raping me, but I wasn't going to go along with it either. They seemed satisfied though, and took me back to my cell after telling me to remember to be a 'good girl' for them next time. They left me with food and water, and some time to myself where I can finally write again.

God, my ass is still killing me... I can feel it throbbing back there, and my damn tail keeps brushing up against it. I can't even really sit down... which makes having to do it to pee even WORSE. All I can really do is just lay in bed, face-down, and just try to ignore it.

Having to sit down and just look back at everything that's happened the past few days is a lot to digest... I'm not sure I even got everything. I know they're trying to break me... they're doing it slowly, and patiently. Getting me to apologize today was a big step in that direction... These people are monsters, and I know I'm losing it. I'm going crazy, I can FEEL it. They're breaking me, driving me mad, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it! I don't know how much more of this I can take! Please, God, send someone to help me, ANYTHING to help me! At least help me to be strong...

For Jessica...