A Father's Love, Chapter Two
#2 of A Father's Love
Miss Bailie didn't tell Mammy and Daddy about my bloody skirt. She asked me why I didn't tell her I'd started bleeding. I asked her what she meant by it but she said it was just something all girls went through once a month when they got older.
I lied, agreeing with her. I wanted to tell her what really happened but I was afraid of what Josh would do to me.
"What do you mean Nanny?" I asked her.
"All girls bleed when they get older, then when you get as old as I am you stop bleeding," Miss Bailie said.
"But why Nanny?" I asked.
"It's just part of getting older," she said sharply.
And that was that.
I stayed out of the maze after what had happened, thinking Josh would be there waiting for me. Actually, I didn't go outside at all. I'd spend the days in my room sitting at my window or wandering around the house. It's a big house, so there's plenty to do and see. It's so big I got lost in it once. Well actually I got lost to get away from Miss Bailie.
I was little, a few years younger than I am now. Miss Bailie had whipped me for crying too much. I wanted to go out with Mammy and Daddy but I wasn't allowed. When Miss Bailie wouldn't let me out I started to cry.
"Stop that!" she hissed.
I didn't stop. I cried harder.
"Stop that this instant!" Miss Bailie said, her voice more high pitched.
At those words I flung myself down on the floor on my belly, pounding and kicking the floor with my hands and toes, screaming. Then I turned onto my belly and kicked at the air, pounding the floor harder. My hands hurt but I didn't care. I screamed louder and louder. Then Miss Bailie grabbed my arm and dragged me into the hall and pulled a thin cane hanging on the wall. She gave me several sharp smacks to my legs. Then I kicked her and ran away from her. I hid in the library under a table at the very back. It's like a maze in there, and it's dark in the back. Miss Bailie called out my name repeatedly but I wouldn't answer her. Eventually I just fell asleep right there in the library. Now I know my way around.
Two years later...
I took dinner in my room, just a sandwich and some milk. Everyone else was downstairs in the dining room. There was a knock at my door and Miss Bailie walked in.
"Finished?" she asked.
"Yes," I said.
She took my tray from me.
"Can I say goodnight to Mammy and Daddy?" I asked.
"Your mother is away at your aunt's house and your father can't be bothered," Miss Bailie said, and left.
I lay awake in bed, starring up at the ceiling. Mammy didn't tell me she was leaving, and what was Daddy so busy with that he couldn't see me?
I slipped out of bed and made my way down the hall to Mammy and Daddy's room.
I heard a soft groan. The door to their room had been left open a crack, a ribbon of orange light spilled out. I peered inside. It took everything I had in me to keep me from crying out.
Daddy was in bed with someone, but it wasn't Mammy. It was a male, a striped hyena, he looked no older than Josh. They were naked, Daddy was stroking the other male's chest and kissing him. Then Daddy lowered his head and the younger male tilted his head back and moaned.
Daddy how could you? I thought to myself.
The younger hyena cried out and Daddy turned him onto his belly and climbed on top of him. I couldn't watch anymore, and I ran back to my room. I jumped into my bed and crawled under the covers.
Oh Daddy how could you do this to Mammy! I cried in my head.
For the rest of the night my mind was filled with images of Daddy and the younger male.
I confronted Daddy at breakfast the next morning. Mammy still hadn't come back. I sat at the far end of the table, Daddy sat on the other side.
"How could you Daddy?" I asked him.
"What?" Daddy said, looking up from his plate.
"How could you do that to Mammy," I said.
For a moment everything was silent.
"I saw you, you and that boy. How could you do that to Mammy?" I said.
"What I do in my own house is none of your concern," Daddy said.
"What about Mammy? What will she say about it?" I said.
"She won't say anything, because you will not say anything to her," Daddy said.
And that was that.
That night Daddy held a costume party. Mammy and Daddy held costume parties four times a year for each season. Everyone wore a mask. This was the only time I was ever allowed to come out of my room and seen by people, because they couldn't see my face, but Mammy and Daddy would introduce me as their niece Anne. I was the only "young person" at the parties, besides Josh and a few others.
I wore a sleeve-less turquoise silk gown. On my back was a pair of beautiful wings painted powder blue, creamy yellow with gold spots at the tips. My mask was white with blue, gold, yellow and black feathers on it and gold and pale rose adorning the eyes and brows. I felt like a princess.
The ballroom was alive with bright colors and movement and laughter. Some were dancing, others were eating or drinking, and some were chatting.
Mammy still hadn't come back. Daddy was dressed as a golden eagle. I thought he looked like an overweight half plucked turkey, but he carried himself well.
I didn't feel like dancing, so I sat down and just watched the other guests. Then one guest in particular caught my eye. He was dressed in black, brown and blue robes. He wore an elk mask painted brown with gold antlers on the brows, I estimated them to be three or feet long, and gold and white feathers and trim. There was something familiar about him. But he was surrounded by a circle of young hyena femmes, obviously it was just because he was rich and good-looking.
My mask itched. I tried to scratch my cheek but the mask prevented it. I wanted to take it off but I was afraid Daddy would whip me if I did.
Then the Elk looked toward me. Everything seemed to stop. He politely excused himself from his admirers and approached me. I held my breath.
"May I have this dance?" he asked me, as he held his hand out to me.
I silently took his hand. Everyone disappeared and it was just the two of us but for the sound of music and my heart beating. He put his hand on my waist and I put my hand on his shoulder, he took my hand in his. I felt like I was dancing on air. His eyes were shadowed by his mask but I felt them on me.
Then everything shattered, like glass, as my father called out, "The moon looks bright tonight, why don't we go out into the garden!"
I looked up to my dance partner. He just smiled and said, "It is rather hot in here," then, with my hand still clasped in his, he led me out to the garden.
Daddy was right, the moon was bright, so bright it lit up the grounds.
The minute we had stepped out onto the grass we were surrounded by giggling and babbling hyena femmes all dressed in elaborate costumes.
"Oh Mr. Bridshaw it's such a lovely night tonight," a femme, dressed as a peacock squeaked.
Oh my god I danced with Mr. Bridshaw!
"Oh let's play a game!" another young femme, dressed as a swan cried.
"Let's play hide and seek!" another, dressed as a silver mouse, giggled.
"But my dears who shall be the seeker?" Mr. Bridshaw asked.
"Why not you Mr. Bridshaw?" the swan femme said.
"Oh splendid!" Mr. Bridshaw smiled, but there was a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
The femmes didn't seem to notice.
Mr. Bridshaw covered his eyes with his hand, as he counted, "One... Two... Three..." and the femmes and I ran into the maze. I wished I hadn't. The maze looked so menacing at night, I expected someone or something to jump out at any second and attack me.
I heard footsteps and I ran. My stupid dress! It made me stumble. I picked it up but my wings weighed me down. Then suddenly, as I rounded a corner, someone jumped out at me and seized me round my waist and lifted me off the ground.
"So jumpy," a voice laughed.
It was Josh. Oh what was he doing here?
"Put me down, please Josh?" I said.
He didn't.
"Please Josh, put me down, please?" I begged him.
"Why?" he asked.
His lips curled into a cruel grin.
"Please put me down," I said.
He put me down, finally, and I turned to run but he grabbed my wings and ripped them off my back. It hurt, as the straps pulled at and tightened around my shoulders, I almost thought he'd ripped my arms off. I kept running but he caught me again, oh my stupid skirt!
"I swear I haven't said anything to anyone! Please Josh, not again," I cried.
He pushed me up against the hedge, the leaves and branches scratched and pulled at my hair. Josh tore off my mask.
"No!" I screamed.
I slapped him, he threw me to the ground. I got up and ran, then I bumped into another figure. This one gently lifted me.
"Is everything alright?" the figure asked.
Oh thank god it was Mr. Bridshaw.
"Y-yes," I lied.
He gently set me down. I looked behind me, Josh had disappeared.
"I don't like the dark," I said.
"It can be scary," Mr. Bridshaw said.
"I expect monsters to jump out and get me," I said.
"Well I won't let any monsters get you," Mr. Bridshaw said sweetly to me.
He took off his mask.
"You're very kind," I said.
He held my hand in his, stroking his thumb over my hand. I looked around again.
"Oh dear, what about the others?" I asked.
"I'm sure they'll be fine," Mr. Bridshaw said.
He brought my hand to his muzzle, he kissed it, then he turned it over and kissed each fingertip, then the palm and then my wrist.
"I lost my mask," I said.
"You don't need it," he said.
"It's getting late, isn't it?" I said.
"Not so late," Mr. Bridshaw said.
"But Daddy might get worried," I said.
"Don't worry, I'll talk to him," Mr. Bridshaw said, he kissed my hand again.
I made a face.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"I think I hurt my paw while running," I lied.
"Oh dear, you poor thing," Mr. Bridshaw said sweetly.
"It's nothing, I'll be fine," I lied again.
"No, you mustn't walk with your paw injured," Mr. Bridshaw said, and he lifted me into his arms.
"But how will we find our way out? It's so dark," I said.
"Just hold my hand and I'll guide you," Mr. Bridshaw said.
Sure enough, he brought us back into the garden. Everyone had gone inside. We sat down on a bench by some rose bushes.
"Well your paw seems to have gotten better," Mr. Bridshaw said.
"Oh yes, so it has," I said quickly.
Then the door opened and light flooded the garden and blinded us slightly, and there stood Miss Bailie in an owl mask.
"Camile where have you been? Your father has been looking for you!" Miss Bailie hissed.
"I'm sorry Nanny," I said.
"And where is your mask?" Miss Bailie asked me.
"I dropped it," I said.
Miss Bailie took off her mask.
"Put this on," she said.
I put on the mask and Miss Bailie grabbed my wrist and dragged me inside. I looked over my shoulder but Miss Bailie slammed the door shut behind me.
"Bye," I said softly.
Though, I'm not sure if he heard me.