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Troubles of Devotion

Clíodhna woke from the blackness of sleep to the reddish glow of light filtering through her eyelids. She laid still in the warmth of the sunlight filtering in through her window, enjoying the feeling of another, slightly smaller body against her front. As she slowly came to her senses she remembered the body was that of her brother and a warmth spread from her heart all over her body that had nothing to do with the sun. After that she quickly became aware that there was not one, but three other pairs of lungs working in the room. The last thing she noticed before feeling like a death sentence prisoner was that she couldn't feel the blanket on top of them.

She opened an eye just enough to see between her lashes. She saw their parents sitting by the door to her room in chairs they had brought up. Apparently they had been waiting for a time, they seemed restless and agitated. But she supposed that could be chalked up to what had transpired between her and her brother the previous night. She decided that she couldn't take the suspense of the moment any more and pretended to unconsciously snuggle into her brother's head. "Conall, wake up love. Don't move, just shift a little if you can hear me." She whispered into his ear as softly as she could, nearly not moving her lips at all.

Conall turned a little more towards his sister, giving her a better angle to his ear. "Mom and Dad are here, the blanket's on the floor. You don't regret last night, do you Con?"

Conall twisted in his sister's arms until he was facing her. He looked her straight in the eye and said out loud, "No, I'll never regret last night Cliu. I've loved you for a long time, and I'll always love you." He wrapped his arms around her as much as he could and kissed her slowly, making the action as obvious as possible to their parents. They heard a sigh and shifting by the door and broke off the kiss. Conall leaned over the edge of the bed and brought the blanket up to cover them both again. Clíodhna placed her head on top of his as they turned towards their parents to face the music.

Their parents just stared at them for a while. Not with a glare, but more like a look of helplessness, mixed with shame and regret. The siblings could see a dozen questions fly through their mother and father's eyes. They could see all the expected questions. "Where did we go wrong?" "How could this have happened?" "Why?" "Should we have seen this coming?" Finally their mother asked one of the burning questions. "How long?"

"How long what specifically?" Clíodhna replied.

"How long have you..." She closed her eyes. "How long have you been in love, and how long have you been mating?"

"Well, last night was the first time we mated, but as far as being in love..." He looked back at his sister with a smile. She planted a kiss on his cheek and took over. "Remember when he was born I said I was going to marry him?"

Their mother and father looked at each other before their father nodded. "Yes." He said with resignation.

"Well, I might have been seven, but I think I knew exactly what I wanted even then." She looked down at Conall for his side.

"I can't even remember a day when I didn't love Cliu. I've always loved her with all my heart." Conall said, reaching back and hugging her as best he could.

Their mother put her hand on her forehead over her eyes. She asked, "You do know that you can't actually get married and be mates in the public eye right?"

"Of course we do. Screw the public eye. All that matters is that we're happy." Clíodhna replied.

Both their parents sighed. "Give us a minute." Their father said.

Their parents got up out of their chairs and left the room, closing the door behind them.

As soon as they hard the door click shut Conall spun in his sister's arms and kissed her passionately. They locked their muzzles together for a minute or two before taking a breath and just snuggling with each other. Conall nuzzled into his sister's breasts and murred. "To hell with society. I want to just stay right here in bed with you."

Clíodhna wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled into his head. "Me too Con. I really do love you. And I think there's actually a place or two where we can go and never be bothered legally."

"Sounds like heaven to me."

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An hour later, their parents still hadn't come back in so they decided they better get up and see what was happening. Conall made a quick dash to his room where he put on some jeans and an almost form fitting t-shirt, then stepped into the hall to wait for his sister. Clíodhna put on much the same thing and met Conall in the hall. They quietly padded to the top of the staircase and listened for their parents. They heard them speaking in low voices, sounding like they were deliberating but not arguing. They caught a few words like, "sick" "out" "wrong" "go" "stay" "dangerous". They didn't know what to make of what they heard so they went into Conall's room and put on a movie on his DVD player, and curled up on his bed together.

They were halfway through their comforting favorite "The Lion King" when there was a knock on the door. Conall paused it and called for them to come in. Their father opened the door, stepped just inside and closed it behind him. He leaned on the door and stared at them. Conall snuggled back into his sister and she wrapped her arms around him tighter.

He strode from the door and kneeled beside the bed, staring into his son's eyes. Then he stared deep into his daughter's. He found the same thing in both of their eyes. Unconditional, unremitting love for the one they were with and not a single shred of remorse or regret. He sighed and went to lean on the door again. He finally spoke in a low voice. "Your mother thinks that since you were mature enough to make this decision, and make it right in my oppinion, that you're mature enough to be on your own. I agree with her. But I don't think you should be yet. Conall you have about a month or two left in school. Finish that and then you both can go. We won't stop you."

He looked down at his paws on the ground. "Ya know, I saw this coming. Not until recently, but I pieced it together. At first I was disgusted of course, but then I took a step back and looked at you two being together without the fact of you being siblings. The rightness of that made me smile. I think you being siblings was just the Powers' way of making sure you would be together. I didn't tell your mother of course. She wouldn't be able to look at it like I could, but she loves you both very much and she'll learn to accept it and move on. She'll never like it, she'll never be able to make light of it, but she'll accept it as a fact of life. We love you two. Never, ever forget that. Now it's probably best if you give your mother some breathing room for now. Just give her a day or so."

He turned to leave the room and stopped. "Oh, and get on your homework Conall, you have school tomorrow."

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For Conall, trying to get through the next day at school was hell. He was constantly distracted by thoughts of his sister. He had muddled through his first few classes paying as much attention as possible, but after a while he caught himself doodling Clíodhna in his notebook. He buckled down and got most of what the teacher was telling them in math and managed to get his head into Capture the Flag in P.E., but he found himself daydreaming in both English and his Art class. By the time the bell signaled for lunch he was considering calling Cliu to have her pick him up, but he knew that wasn't a good idea. So he marched through the lunch line and decided to sit alone today instead of seeming distant to his friends. He was so absorbed in his thoughts of the day before that he didn't even realize it when someone sat across from him until he felt a sharp rap on his head.

The voice that accompanied the offending fist attempted to bring him out of his reverie. "Hello! Earth to Conall! Wake up cutie. What's up with you?"

Conall looked up from his untouched lunch and saw a vixen with burnt orange fur and an athletic build staring at him. She was lean but toned, with just enough fat on her body to have a decent sized chest and make sure her muscles didn't bulge. The tips of her ears were black while the tip of her tail was white. And even though she usually wore rimless glasses, when she wore her contacts she was considered the most beautiful female in the whole school. She was the girl that could literaly go out with any straight male in the school, and even a few of the gay ones had been known to say they could be turned by her. She had even had beat a few of the more jocky males before but no one had tried to touch her after that. Conall however was a close friend to her and normally was enthused to see her, but today his thoughts were occupied. "Oh, hey Ona. I'm alright, just a little distracted," he said, looking down again.

She put a finger under his chin and lifted it until she could stare into his eyes. Eyes are the windows to the soul and she knew how to read through them a little. She stared deep into his emerald pools, watching his eyes trying to look away, avoiding her gaze. Finally she said, "Look at me Conall, you know I'll just keep trying if you don't."

He looked into her deep blue eyes and didn't bother to hide anything. She drew back and said a little depressed, "You love someone, and there's a problem with it. Conall, what's wrong? Who is it?" Her tail and ears drooped a little.

Conall knew he'd never be able to keep the secret from her forever, she was too smart. She always got A's on her tests and she could read people and understood life. He couldn't keep the secret forever, but he could do it for as long as possible. "I can't tell you Ona. Why are you so down all of a sudden?" He asked trying to deflect the question.

Leona started and then started looking around, blushing under fur, folding her ears so he couldn't see it. "Oh, well I... I just hate to see you so depressed looking is all." She replied, hoping he'd just take it.

But like he told his sister, he wasn't blind. "Oh Leona. Don't tell me... I'm sorry." He grabbed her paw from the table and held it. "I'm sorry Leona, I never knew." He looked around the cafeteria and then pulled her to her feet. "C'mon, this isn't the place."

They left their lunches on the table as he led her out of the building, across the campass and behind the gym. They sat down and Conall hugged his friend to him. "I'm sorry," he said.

Leona hugged him tightly and sniffled a little. Eventually she pulled back from him and they sat against the wall. They sat in silence for several minutes until she finally broke it saying, "Just tell me something. Do you love her?"

He hesitated, knowing how his next words could make her feel. "Yes, with all my heart. I've loved her for a long time." He replied.

A tear slowly rolled down her cheek. She wiped it away and seemed to steel herself. "Well then, let's see. Who could it be? You've loved her for a long time, that rules out just about all our friends. Let's see, the only other females you spend time with are me, and Clíodhna." She gave a small laugh at the end of her analyzing, but she noticed him give a slight wince when she mentioned his sister. "Oh shit. No."

"Leona..." He started, but she cut him off.

"Oh my gods Conall, your sister? Are you serious?! Do you have any idea what could happen to you if you get caught?" She asked with concern in her voice.

"Leona it's not what... Wait, you're not disgusted? You're not gonna spit on the ground and run away?" He asked incredulously.

She sighed. "Number one, I'm not given to such theatrics. Number two, it takes a lot more than forbidden love to disgust me. And number three... If you have to love someone other than me, for some reason I'm glad it's her. She's the one girl I could never compete with." She hugged him again. "But, I... I do love you Conall. I'm sorry I didn't say something sooner."

He kissed her cheek. "It wouldn't have made a difference, I've loved her almost as soon as I started noticing girls that way. And if it makes you feel better, I love you too. Just not the same way I love her."

They sat in each other's arms like that for a time until she spoke. "Conall?"

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Would you kiss me? Just once, so I know what could have been." She asked, trying not to actually beg.

He weighed the consequences of his options. He considered the can of worms he might open if he gave in. But in the end he couldn't stand the thought of hurting her further. "Alright. Just once." He said gently.

They pulled apart slightly and then he pressed his lips to hers. When he did he felt her start to go a little limp. Then he felt a stirring in himself, not nearly as powerful as when he had kissed Cliu for the first time, but similar in nature. Leona tentatively opened her lips a little against his, testing the waters. When he responded in kind, she went a little farther. They went on in this fashion until Conall took the initiative, placing his paw behind her head and pulling her closer to him, locking their muzzles and slipping his tongue into her maw to play with her own.

When she broke from him to take a breath he pulled back from her. "I'm sorry," he said. "I shouldn't have done that. I got carried away." He looked away from her lest she read the lie in his eyes.

She placed her forehead against his. "No you didn't. You felt something, just as I did. I accept that you love Clíodhna, I accept that she is your true mate even... But don't deny that you felt something just now, don't insult me like that."

He sighed. "Alright, so I did. But... I do love Clíodhna with all my heart. I just... I'm a little confused, " he admitted.

She stroked the back of his head. "It's alright. I understand. Maybe... you could just be my mate in the public eye? If for no other reason than it would take any suspicion off you seeming to like a girl no one knows?"

"I-I-I don't know. I'm sorry Ona, I need to think it over." He replied, pushing her away slightly. "I'm sorry."

She reached over and pulled his head to her, kissing his forehead. "It's alright, take your time. In the mean time, love your sister. I don't want to take away from that."

As she leaned back to look at him, the bell rang. "Damn." She said. "Oh well, tell your sister I said hi."

He smiled a little and stood up, grabbing his backpack and saying, "I'll do that." Then on a sudden impulse, he kissed her cheek again. "See you tomorrow... hun," He said, turning away to go to his next class.