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From Ice Cream to "Topping" - Arc 2 - Chapter 7

As an all too familiar horizon came into view right then in front of me as we arrived on the outskirts of Bellistall, my place of birth, I found it funny how I did anything but look forward then as I instead thought back on my past concerning this hallow; stuck in reminiscence of what I've tried so hard and for so very long to forget.

In total, just as all these flooding memories hit me softly and washed over my subconscious, I felt this uneasy queasiness grow in the pit of my stomach. Truth be told, its overwhelming nature managed to not only sour my stomach, but what felt like my heart as well.

"Alright y'all, time to wake up. We've made it." I heard my new polar bear friend's voice boom in its genuine happiness as he startled me and the rest of the company in the car then; an obvious sign all of us were in varying states of being for whatever individual reasons.

"Wow, we already made it?" I said as I looked at my phone to check the time, which to my joy was accompanied with a message from Daniel saying the phrase "give em hell Lee." Unbeknownst to me at first, but luckily all the same, this message brought out a smile from somewhere deep down inside me; which began to eclipse just how nervous I really felt.

It felt reassuring to say the least; to know that for whatever I find here, there is someone out there that cares for me to succeed. And for him, I feel like I have to. It's my only way to go back home with my baggage that is my history unbound...

"Yeah Derek's quick like that; always so eager to arrive, and yet always the last to the buffet if you know what I mean!" Domino snickered for a second then as he gave the bear a friendly punch in the forearm; the joke lost on me until I caught Ty giggling too which led me to the fact it was a poorly executed sex joke.

"Shut up Dee. We made it didn't we? No thanks to ya man. Was hoping ya would've stolen the wheel from me at some point or something ya jerk..." Derek said as he looked at the rabbit with a bit of a hard glare, of which built guilt in myself right away since I had not offered my own services, yet understood quickly this banter was maybe some sort of an understanding or even inside joke between them.

"Pshh, this was your idea buddy. I just came for the free food and dudes!" Domino continued on with his boisterous and happy responses as we all as a group collectively hopped out the vehicle, taking a minute each to stretch out our limbs before individually surveying the lay of the land.

From my point of view, difficulty believed but understood, what took me by surprise almost immediately then was how different Bellistall had become since the last time I was here... not. Clearly this city, unlike that of Ardordon which seems to spring forward in step with the advances of technology, has remained frozen in its golden age; which seems to have expired with time some ten years back.

Most to all of the buildings stood the same in this familiar downtown setting I remember all to well; everything kept in its proper place it seems. In a surreal sort of way, it was like it all had just sort of stopped working while I was gone and started up again right now for my own personal benefit.

"Kinda freaky how nothing's changed huh?" Derek said as he came over to my side of the vehicle I stood on and opened the trunk so we could grab for our belongings.

"Yeah, it's kind of a let down to be honest. I didn't think coming back here would feel so... similar from before." I said as I continued looking out, searching for any kind of variance I could find to help me lay down the foundation in mind of the very real fact I had actually ran away from here once upon a time; instead of just feeling like I blinked and nothing had changed.

"City counsel's weird like that I guess. Anyway, our hotels right over there; free stay for local residents." Derek said as he pointed in the direction of the Arbol Lodge, a hotel I myself had stayed in multiple times with my mother in my youth when my father was at his worst. "And since there's three locals right here, I think we'll be pretty well off."

Following up his finish with his humble joyous laugh, the bear grabbed for his huge suitcase then and hoisted it over his shoulder like it was nothing; its contents I assume either housing both his and Domino's luggage or a Russian ballet team. "Man Derek, we gotta get you some smaller luggage or something. That's just way over doing it right there." Domino said as I saw him grab for a little backpack I hadn't noticed he was keeping with him in the passenger seat.

"Pshh, Domino ya know there's nothing small about me..." Already speaking so nonchalantly before stopping mid sentence, Derek realized it seemed what he had been saying as he started to get embarrassed. For myself, even though his company is still new to me and leaves much more to be determined, if I had to venture a guess about him it would be that he isn't as... dirty minded... as Domino constantly is. "Ahem... let's go check in guys."

As I grabbed for my stuff finally, I couldn't help but check and see what Ty was doing. To my great surprise however, he already had his possessions in hand and just stood there stationary and alert like a good soldier. To be honest, this little sweet act of his was convincing, but something still sat wrong with me for some reason. I knew that I forgave him just not that long ago, but that in no way could just change his extreme personality this quick. He's gotta be working some angle; I just gotta keep an eye out for what that may be.

Or maybe, and more likely the case, this point of view I held just stemmed from my paranoia of being back in this unchanged place that raises the hairs on my backside and keeps me grounded in my worries. Really, I was waiting for someone, anyone at all, to approach me and realize who I was; the black sheep of Bellistall returned.

To my great surprise however, even as we came across multiple people in passing in the hotel lobby, no one even looked my way; them all instead purely focused on Derek himself and the familiar city hellos he would exchange with them as he got us checked in properly.

As we rode the elevator to our assigned floor, I started to think about how the anonymity of it all was appreciated, but still left me with this deep seated sentiment of emptiness. This feeling stuck with me; until Derek spoke next anyway of what tonight's plans were and the time it would provide me after...

"Alright guys, just so ya know Esther and me already discussed this, but we'll be meeting up with her tomorrow in the morning. It's a little late for her already to be up so we'll hang back for a day." Derek said as he looked at me afterwards, waiting for what seemed was some sort of visual confirmation from me that this was alright to do; to which all I could do was just shake my head in agreement. What else could I say? No?

In truth, this situation worked out perfectly to my advantage seeing as how ever since we'd arrived, I've had this business of my own brewing in the back of my head; an idea I refused to share with the rest of the class...

"So I guess tonight's an all range mode sort of thing." Derek said as he led the way to our hotel room and inserted the key allowing us entry. "Do whatever ya want guys. Personally... I'm just starving!"

"Free food! Yes; called it!" Domino said as he and Derek high-fived each other in brotherly camaraderie and tossed their stuff on to one of the only two beds that were present in the room.

"Only two beds?" I hadn't even realized I asked the question aloud right away, then felt like a nerd immediately after for even mentioning it, but the implications alone were a bit much for me to ignore.

"Wha... oh man I didn't even think about that. Usually it's just me and Domino that come up here. Umm... ya want I should ask for an extra room?" Derek said as he looked around at the room puzzled; almost like in his cute innocence he hadn't actually planned this out somehow. But it was because of this, I felt, earnest concern however I trusted that Derek wasn't just up to any funny business; even if stood Domino laughing up a storm there in the corner of the room.

"No Derek, its fine. I'll just take the couch or something." I said with a bit of a self-sacrificing tone; even if in reality the thought of lying next to any of these incredibly hot guys in a bed all night wasn't that bad of an idea. "Damn me for being in a relationship..."

"Well we'll see what happens tonight. We can always just stick Domino in the jeep." He said with a growing smirk. "Anyway, I'm gonna go hit this local joint for a burger, any... put ya hand down bunny boy... takers?" Derek asked as he reached into his back pocket for his wallet then handed out the individual access key cards he had to us all.

"You know; if we're not seeing Ms. O'telo, I'm gonna check out some old familiar haunts if that's alright with you. I'll meet up with you guys for a dinner though; that sound good?" I asked the question but questioned what I'd get for a response. After all, I didn't want them to think I was just abandoning them or something.

"Yeah that's cool man. I and the bear here got some standing plans anyway, which of course if you wanna come with us now Ty you're welcome to join." Domino asked as he finally, for the first time in this whole trip I think, turned to and addressed Ty accordingly. After thinking more on it, their interactions I felt struck me as both odd and cold; how they were supposed to be an item and yet didn't act like it at all confused me to no end.

"Actually, I'm think I'm gonna crash for a bit then I'll meet up with you guys later if it's all the same to you. Kind of feeling pretty light headed right now for some reason..." Ty said as he immediately fell forward into the pillows on the spare bed; the backside of shirt lifting ever so slightly at the same time, showing off his well toned backside.

I wanted to question Ty right then and there, wondering if this was all just some act to hang around with me or something, but I knew full well if I took off quickly enough and just caught a bus right away, he would have no chance of catching up to me anyway.

"Alright then kitty. Well hope ya feel better soon." Domino said as he rubbed at Ty's back calf muscle then before walking to the door, trying his best it looked like to offer what I assume he thought was a loving gesture. "Man, let's get going already Derek; nothing a like double green Chile cheeseburger to feel like we're back for a day right?"

"Alright well see ya guys later on. Call me if ya need me for any reason Charlie." Derek said as we shook hands then, almost awkwardly for some reason, as we told each other good-bye.

And there I was alone I realized... with Ty... in a motel room.

I've had nightmares of this moment to be honest...

"Sooo... guess I should head out too so I can let you rest up." I said with almost a guilty innocence as I instantly started making my way for the door.

"So it's like that Charlie? I stay behind so we can talk about what happened on the ride over here, and you just wanna run away?" Ty said as he kept his face buried in the pillow still.

"Huh? Oh well... that was... I just wanted to apologize for how I treated you earlier; that's all that was." I said while thinking about how I was lying to him through my teeth.

"You sure about that?" Ty said as he turned his head in my direction well still resting with his chest on the bed. "You know, I'm trying me best here to be an ear for you and all; so why do I just feel like a paper bag instead?"

"What are you trying to say Ty? You act like I owe you more than that. I apologized, and that's that. I've got nothing else to say that you don't already know about alright." The tone in my voice started to build I noticed as a heat rose in my body; this line of questioning driving my blood to a boiling point all over again with him.

"Yeah I guess so." The leopard said as he propped himself up, made his way over to where I stood, stared at me for a second, then turned and started walking over to the bathroom. "Well if you ever really wanna talk about what's bothering you, I'll be here." He said as he closed the door slowly behind him. "Be careful... I mean, see you later."

I know what I feel about Ty right now isn't what I felt yesterday, but I don't have time to walk Ty through my imaginary thirteen planned steps of recovery either. Yes, I might have used him earlier for a minute to make myself feel better, but I'll never be that person for him. We're too different to even try...

And with that sentiment solidified for me in my mind I closed the room door behind me, made my way down a flight of nearby stairs to the first floor lobby and walked out the front entrance of the building. The air seemed stagnant; choking almost I thought as I my brain's old blueprint for Bellistall kicked in and I remembered there was a bus stop not more than a few blocks down from the hotel.

I hurried in my pacing, not wanting to run and draw attention to myself, as I walked briskly towards my destination. Again, I noticed how only the purchasables and perishables inside the buildings were different, but the people remained the same; if not just a little bit older looking.

In reality, it actually all made me chuckle a little, thinking about how most normal people would love to come back home and find that nothing's changed. For me however, this is just purely maddening, and I hate and resent this place even more for its preservation.

None of this mattered in the end for me however. Instead, as the bus arrived perfectly right when I did and I hopped on, I remained focused in my one true objective for today; to see if a man can really go back in time and rewrite it.

Although it took only an hour's allotment to get here, I felt like time in total had somehow came to a stall as the bus slowed down and we arrived at the more residential area of town; right were I wanted to be. I courteously tipped the driver for going out of his way for his single passenger trip, then made my way off the machine and touched my feetpaws to the ground; the familiarly rough hot pavement still as fresh in mind as like it was my first kiss.

I took a minute to take stock and reminisce as I looked around at my old unchanged neighborhood, almost completely so, the only exception of course being the house down at the end of the block; mine. As I approached the gates of this now boarded up and foreclosed hell, it felt like a wave of pressure tried pushing me away, but I fought through it all the way right up to its doorstep.

The feelings themselves of this place almost imaginarily stabbed at me then as every punch, pinch and bruise I ever suffered here emotionally manifested itself all over my person then and I froze in fear at the doorway to my childhood prison. I could feel every welt and burn I had endured way back when as fresh and pure as they ever were, growing in their pressure and intensity; like my mind was trying to punish me for daring to challenge this piece of my past.

Every one of these scars, both mental and physical, came almost full circle and to the forefront of my mind then as my body began to shudder in natural response, a chilled breeze imminent only further fueling this feeling, as I sadly took hold of the yellow police tape that covered up the entrance and tore it down angrily; the reason why it was there in the first place still a secret to everyone but me and Bellistall's police department.

"This reality is still only mine to bear..." I thought to myself as I pushed open the entrance to the barely standing edifice and made my way in; inch by careful inch.

Met with what I was at minimum expecting, I fought bravely through the throes of combined spiders webs and dust clots as I squinted to look around through the thick mire that was my old home; the only light that could assist me at all shining in the wrong direction through a singular busted hole in the roof skylight.

"Crap, I might have to come back." I said as I thought quickly about what I held in my personal inventory then; myself knowing that a pack of matches would get me nowhere in comparison to that of a working flashlight. "Yeah, maybe I'll do that..."

"Yeah, that ain't happening Charlie." I heard a soft voice come from behind me then as I instinctively balled up a fist and threw it in the direction of the whisper at the same time, cautious almost in the force provided as I at first questioned whether I had even heard anything said at all.

Unfortunately however, and as my knuckles drove forcefully through a solid chunk of a nearby support beam and finally found themselves on target with that of my ghost whisperer, I felt horror grow in my heart as my fist connected with the sweet innocent body of that damn meddler Ty.

Quick to feel my unbridled anger I held towards this structure and its past occupants, I saw Ty fly far and backwards sharply onto his tail then, making him hiss out in a surprise that even caught me off guard.

"Oww... what the hell Charlie?" He said as leaned forward quickly from his position on the floor, trying his best to catch his breath as I realized instantly and shamefully where I had hit him; right in his chest.

"Shit Ty. Man, what the hell are you doing here? You almost gave me a heart attack you idiot..." I kept my future profanities to a minimum then as I took a minute to compose myself and draw some deep breaths as well.

"Well you took off from the hotel so quick... and red faced... I knew something was wrong you weren't telling me about." He said in between his coughing and gasps of air. "I was worried about you."

"Well thanks... I guess. But seriously what did you do; just follow me all the way here?" I looked at the snow leopard puzzled as I leaned over and helped keep him propped up to further aid in his recovery time. "And how? It took me like several different bus transfers just to get here." I questioned him amongst my confusion, painfully aware all the opposite that the only reason it took me so long to get here was because I was afraid to get off at the appropriate stop several times over.

"I borrowed the bear's jeep." He said as he reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out the keys and dangled them outwards for me to see. "He said that him and Domino were gonna hit up some local gay club tonight not to far from the hotel, so I asked him if I could borrow his ride to find you."

"You turned down dancing with gay boys to come find me huh?" At first it was said so sarcastically and strongly defined; myself thinking about how funny it would be if Ty really was that kind of self-sacrificing guy.

In the end however, it was me that was met with pie in my face as my cynicism continued on; Ty setting me straight with just the four little simple words... "I'm here; aren't I?"

"Well, I guess you're here now so there's not much I can say about it. But Ty, this is a pretty important personal thing for me; no wait... cathartic is a better word." I said as I looked around at the decaying structure, playing witness to the crumbles of my past constantly chipping away all the while as we spoke. "This is for me to do; alone..."

"Well you know what Charlie; see this moment right here? This is your core problem." Ty said as he continued rubbing his chest softly to relax his tensed muscles.

I looked at him questioningly in response; unaware of what the thoughts were driving him behind his statement. "What do you mean?"

"Everything is always just about you." He looked at me what seemed almost angrily at first, but then suddenly and surprisingly switched into a genial state of mind as he continued on. "Whether it's about your boyfriend or your worries, it always comes down to how you feel." He said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a little miniature flashlight that he handed me.

"Ty... wait. I... I didn't mean too..." I tried getting in my words of thanks or apologies edgewise then, but was cut short as Ty continued on; unaware I'm sure the whole time how really right he was about me.

"Let me finish Charlie... please. I'm never gonna get enough courage to ever do this again. You are an asshole; a very self important one at that. But you know what? That's not always a bad character flaw. In fact, it fits you. I'm okay with that about you. I know that's who you are; how you operate. I knew it from the very first moment we met. You're so damn solemn, pig-headed, and quick to rush to judgment."

Honestly, my mouth would've dropped in astonishment then had I not actually realized that Ty seemed to be speaking from a place I couldn't deny lending an open unbiased ear.

"And yet I know it, I realize... there is so much more I can learn from you; so much more to feel. My heart knows that's real." He spoke softly again as his hand moved from rubbing the right side of his chest to his left.

"Ty..." I tried at first, but found not the words to say to him as I watched his breakdown continue on; I wondering all the while why I wasn't getting mad it him for the things he was admitting to me or the fact that he was here.

"So maybe... if you just let me help you, I can understand what you're trying to feel too..." He said as he looked at me after almost finishing up what I felt like was his second most honest interaction ever since we met up again poolside just little more than a few hours back. "Please don't deny me this Charlie; this little contention I want to know."

This all felt so weird to me, and yet somehow familiar as I looked at the leopard, examining his mannerisms carefully and yet impatiently too; wondering if this was really the person who I hated for so long for a fault that was my own. He seemed so genuine now... as gentle as any other I've ever known; or let into my life.

He surprised me to be honest, so I guess I owed him something...

"Stop Ty. Please just stop okay." I said softly as my paw extended out to meet his own rubbing at his heart; his racing beats of which were on par with my own as I let barriers down again only Daniel had ever broken through before now. "You win alright. I trust you. Help me okay. I... want you here too."

Our paws locked innocently together for a second then as I let him pull himself upwards onto my shoulders, which in turn helped him to boost back up on to his feet; but not before leaving me with a second of personal doubt as I... accidentally... took a whiff of his personal musk.

And for some reason I couldn't explain, or maybe I knew but didn't want to admit, he smelled better than he ever had to me before...

Why am I letting Ty in? Is it because maybe my head knows something my heart is keeping secret from me? And what is it that we will find together in this graveyard home of my parents final resting place?

Let's see what happens...