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Undertow: Prologue

Chapter 1 - A Cold Wind

--Naki--

I can't wait for summer break. The spring semester has worn on me from day one and the fact that the end is in sight seems to only make it come more slowly. Plus, I'm excited. I think Fen will actually be staying with me-- finally... well, with my family and I. I'd hoped we'd get to do it over winter break and, honestly, I'm still a little unhappy that it didn't work, but in a way I've come around to the notion that it might've been for the best.

An audible *FWHUMP* resounds as I settle onto the couch and kick my feet up onto the coffee table ahead of me. I still have a few hours before the others are back from classes and practice; something I'd grown to really love about Mondays and Wednesdays; I got quiet time if I wanted it. Most of the time I spent it watching TV or doing homework but occasionally I'd just think. Lately, its been winter break on my mind. With Fen likely coming for summer I want to be ready. Unfortunately, I don't know that Khole's lax attitude about everything will quite prepare me for the contrast that is my boyfriend. Only time will tell. The days leading up to winter break weren't that much different from this. Well, except I learned that Fen wouldn't be staying.

~ 5 months prior ~

"So what do you think?" I asked, settled in this very spot only a few days before winter break would begin. Fen was next to me; lying with his head in my lap and twisting his cloaker around his ring finger.

"I don't know," he said, looking up at me again. "I was kinda thinking maybe staying with Ian would be a better idea. Y'know, less of a strain on your family and we wouldn't have to worry about them finding out about us. You haven't told them yet, right?"

Of course I hadn't-- but I didn't think it'd be hard to keep a secret. "How hard could it be? We'll sleep in separate beds and avoid holding hands in the house. It's not like they suspect me or something. I've had a girlfriend before."

"Yea, that's totally fair to me," he muttered. "I -want- to sleep with you and hold hands. So you want me to spend my entire break only a few feet away from you but unable to touch?"

"Better than being miles away."

"Not if you ask me. Least if I'm at Ian's I won't be tempted."

"Why do I get the feeling this isn't the real reason? I mean, we both agreed that getting my parents used to you is a good start."

"I know," he sighed. He stopped playing with his cloaker and relaxed a little. "There's just a lot on my mind; Mom and Dad, the house, Sy won't stay with you and I don't want him to be alone, y'know... I don't wanna be stressed about all that -and- worried about your parents at the same time. You said it yourself: They weren't that thrilled about me staying when you asked. I think having Khole is enough to them. Can we hold off? Please?"

I stared down at him but I remember being unable to say no. He'd been through a lot and the last thing I wanted to do was put him back into stress mode. Just weeks before this he'd lost everything. Well, his parents and his home at least. Plus campus was quickly becoming the only place expressly friendly towards Requorans.

"Alright," I said.

He leaned up and kissed me under the muzzle. "Thank you, Naki."

I recall the look on his face when he said that. It almost made me feel better, but in the end the only thing I could feel was disappointment. I was looking forward to spending break with him at my parents' house. Despite my feelings I just smiled in return. I'd get over it. It would only be a matter of time, I hoped.

The climate on campus had become a bit sour during those colder months. I think a lot of it was a consequence of the spike in violence that climaxed in a few of our Requoran friends and a couple Neotrians being killed. After that a lot of places around the city began locking their doors to Requorans, fearing what might be the beginning of something larger. The university's president tried to encourage them not to, but it seemed like most business owners were more afraid of arguments and violence breaking out than whatever harsh words would be thrown at them by people who supported Requorans. They weren't unreasonable-- at least they said they weren't being unreasonable; they were looking out for their customers and trying to keep potentially dangerous altercations to a minimum. Most of their customers are Neotrians so shutting out Requorans didn't really hurt their bottom-line. Predictably, this didn't fly with Fen or Sy. Honestly, it didn't fly with me either. It limited our options and more often than not just left them feeling sour-- at first, at least. They eventually became used to it or at least stopped mentioning.

I tried harder to understand how it felt for them. There was still quite a bit I didn't agree with Fen on when it came to Requorans but at the same time I realized that things had really gone south. If I were a Requoran I don't doubt I'd feel the same way he does. He doesn't want to wait; he wants equality yesterday... and from his eyes there's no reason it shouldn't happen. After all, ever since Neotrians settled here they'd been summarily oppressed and nearly wiped out. When you look at it that way it's no wonder even the small steps they've made so far have been so surprising to them... and made Requorans like Fen express themselves that much more..

There'd been a backlash on campus from what happened. Very vocal groups began regularly protesting and even attempting to block students identifying as Requorans from making it to class. There were counter-protests, though. And local police were called in most of the time to separate the groups and clear the way to classrooms. Phalance seemed to make it onto both local and national news for something at least once per week and as a result I really clamped down on taking Fen to class. I walked him all of the way into room and when I would come to pick him up I'd expect to find him waiting there for me. I know it sounds a bit unreasonable but after what happened to Lilly and all of this extra crap going on... I just couldn't risk it.

One person in particular became a talking head for the movement against Requorans remaining on campus. He was invited to speak on the news right after Lilly was killed. His name is Gerard Jonas. Normally I wouldn't care except he kept attaching the name of my religion, Pheyinism, to everything he did. That made it really easy to get Fen comfortable with the idea of coming to church with me sometime.

While those things made for the stressful side of his life and, consequentially, mine, we also had a lot of fun. Despite what happened to Lilly, RANF thrived. Her death brought more attention to our efforts; we saw a spike in membership and received donations from groups and individuals both on and off-campus, most of which found us through the news spreading about what happened. I was happy to see that; Declan really needed it and so did the rest of us.

We began focusing the RANF around campus safety and implemented a system of volunteer escorts. Requorans could voluntarily sign up to have a partner walk with them around campus and we'd keep tabs and records so that incidents could be avoided. Those who wanted to be escorts had to be a member of the group for at least three months and needed to at least be acquainted to every Requoran member. We also required that they find a Requoran who would volunteer to be their first escortee. We figured those rules would probably change in the future but we couldn't think of a better way to qualify people, so we went with that.

All in all we'd tried to make things work out and step forward instead of backwards. I really thought Fen might take this as a chance to try something new. He'd be with me and I'm certain I've proven I can take care of him. Still, his decision to stay with Ian stood and I accepted it even if I didn't like it. Khole would be with me, so at least I'd get to see how my family would deal with having a Requoran around. At least, that's the silver-lining I consoled myself with. I really prayed that it would work out well and that I could use the success to win Fen over.

"Welcome home," Mom said, hugging me as soon as I was in the house and had put my stuff down. I'd packed lightly, only taking clothes and necessities so I wouldn't have to load everything up again once break was over.

"Thanks, Mom." I hugged back and then helped Khole get his stuff in. "Sorry I'm a bit late. Had to take Motley home first and there was a little traffic on the way."

"Oh don't worry, I figured as much." She turned to Khole and gave a gentle smile. "Welcome to our home, Khole? That's your name, right?"

"Thank you for having me." He gave a little smile. "And yes, I'm Khole."

"It's our pleasure," she said in return. "Uh, I take it Naki talked to you about sleeping arrangements?"

"He did. If you don't mind, I haven't made a decision yet but I will move my stuff as soon as I do. For now, wherever is best so that it's out of the way is fine with me."

"Not a problem. We do have extra blankets in case you do want to stay in the basement, though my husband has something down there he wants to move out of the way so even if you end up choosing it we'll have to wait until he's home. Sorry we don't have much room."

"Nah, it's fine. I'm just happy you're letting me stay. It's an enormous help and much easier than trying to fly back to my parents' house."

"I'm happy we could help. I'll move these out of the way and just let me know what you'll do before bed, okay?"

"Perfect. Do you want me to help you move them? I'd be happy to."

"No, I'll do it. You two get comfortable." Mom picked Khole's bags up and started towards the other side of the living room. I grabbed my own bags and motioned towards the stairs.

"Nervous?" I recall asking as we walked up, trying to mind my tail so that I don't accidentally hit him with it.

"A little. You sleep with your siblings, right? I trust you, but at my natural height I'm not sure I want to wake up to a preteen holding me." He chuckled a little. "But staying in a cold basement doesn't seem all that preferable either."

"I can talk to Reggie and Nate. They won't mess with you if I tell them not to."

"That might be a good idea."

As I walk into my room I can already see that both my brothers are there.

"Naki!" I dropped my bags to grab the blur that soon rammed in my chest almost the instant I finished opening the door. Glad I was expecting it.

"Hey, Reg. How're you?"

"Good! How's college? You miss us?" he asked.

"I had fun! But yea, I really missed you guys. You miss me?"

"Uh-huh! Nate did too but he won't admit it."

I smirked and looked over at Nate on his computer as usual, playing video games. "Hold on hold on; the match is almost done," he said, trying to keep his eyes glued to the screen while acknowledging us.

"Hi," Reggie said again, looking over my shoulder at the lighter-furred otter behind me. I twisted my head to see Khole give a little wave.

"Nice to meet ya," Khole stated. "I'm Khole, what's your name?"

"Reggie," the smaller otter in my arms squeaked. He wriggled a little; his way of telling me he wants to get down so I set him down and he walked over to Khole, sniffing at him a little as soon as he was near enough.

I remember thinking it kind of a funny sight. After all, Reggie is only ten years old and about average height; 4ft. Yet even someone that age and height would be enormous to an adult Requoran. Maybe I shouldn't have found it entertaining but I did.

Khole watched Reggie sniff at him for a moment but soon held a hand out for a handshake instead. Reggie blinked a few times before taking the paw. "You're a micro."

"I am," Khole responded. "How did you know?" he asked; his grin belying any notion that he didn't already realize how easy it was to tell.

"You're wearing a collar! Only micros wear collars."

"So you noticed, I was hoping I could get away with blending in..." Khole sighs.

Reggie blinked again before shifting on his paws. "Well, I won't tell anyone... but I'm pretty sure they'll see it."

A grin spread Khole's face. "I'll work on hiding it better. But yes, I'm a micro. I'll be staying with you guys for break."

"Reeeeaaally?" Reggie looked back and up at me.

"Yea," I chuckled.

"Awesome! You hear that, Nate?"

"Yes, Reggie." The hint of annoyance in Nate's voice was more than apparent but Reggie didn't seem to catch it.

"It'll be just like Lawry."

Nate stopped at that. "Reggie! Quiet!" He squeaks, eyes darting from his screen for a moment to glare at the younger otter.

I started to ask but decide it's better to drop it for now. "We have to talk soon as you're done, Nate. About Khole."

"So you sleepin' in here with us?" Reggie asked, tugging Khole into the room by his hand while I took my stuff to my dresser to start putting my clothes away.

"Maybe," Khole responded.

Nate finished his game in the time it took me to put my stuff into my dresser and move to sit down on the lower of our bunked beds next to where Reggie was still interrogating Khole. Strangely, Khole kept up pretty well. Even asked a few of his own.

"How many Requorans do you know at school?"

"Uh..." Reggie frowned for a moment. "Two."

"Only two?"

"There aren't that many!"

"Why do you think that is?"

"I dunno."

Nate finally spun around and peered at us with a grin on his face. He must've won. He's never that happy when a game is over unless his team wins.

"Nice to meet you uh... Khole?" he asked, holding a hand out which Khole took just as he had with Reggie.

"You, too. Did you win?"

"We did!" Nathan grinned even a bit more widely. "Close game, too..." He rubbed at his ears for a moment. "So what'd you wanna talk about, Naki?"

"Well, Khole'll be staying with us for break but we need a place for him to sleep. The basement is one option but it's pretty cold during the winter so we were kinda thinking he'd sleep in here maybe."

"I'm not against it-- but where?" Nate asked.

"Well that's the thing. If he does he'd have to uh..."

"I'd have to sleep at my natural height," Khole finished for me. "While I'm positive nothing bad would happen, it doesn't hurt to talk a little bit about how we could do this safely."

"We know the drill," Nate responded.

"Hmm?" Khole asked, ears perked.

"Yea, Nate had Lawry come over." Reggie said.

"Who's that?" I asked.

"Nate's gir-"

"A friend," Nate interrupted somewhat loudly, glaring at Reggie who giddily held his hands over his muzzle. I tried to hold my smile in.

"She's a Requoran, too. She uh... she slept here."

"Mom and Dad allowed that?"

"They don't know," Nate muttered. "So don't tell them, okay?"

"Heheh, alright, I won't."

"I'm just saying we know. She slept at her natural height annnd. Well, we talked about it."

"Talked about what?" Khole asked.

"What it's like," Nate responded. "To be so small. Y'know."

"Huh. So what were her arrangements, then?"

"We made a little bed using a box with a pillow on the inside and some leftover fabric from mom's knitting kit. She kept her cloaker with her." I remember the look on Nate's face twisting a little as he talked. I guess it's still an awkward topic for him.

"That was sweet of you." Khole shifted to cross his legs on the bed. "All I ask is that you not grab me without asking first. I'm comfortable at my natural height but being picked up when I don't expect it is no fun for me."

"So we can hold you?" Reggie asked.

The look I remember seeing on Khole's face still brings a smile to me. He just twisted his head and stared at Reggie for a moment. I would eventually learn why Khole didn't answer that question as quickly as I'm used to him answering.

"Well..." he began, keeping his eyes locked on Reggie for a while before rubbing a paw over his head. "One step at a time." He leaned in towards Reggie and smiled some. "If you promise you will only do so when I say it's okay, then I'll agree to let you hold me. That sound fair?"

"Sure! I promise," Reggie said without a moment's notice. At least that seemed to work out. Nate just shrugged a little.

"Like I said, it's not a big deal."

"Thanks guys." I was happy it seemed to work out. Khole would sleep in our room and hopefully there'd be no trouble.

I finished unpacking my stuff while Nathan showed Khole the game he liked playing most on his computer. By the time I finished, Mom was calling us down for dinner. I let Nate and Reggie go ahead of me to hang back with Khole for a moment.

"I'll set something up for you on my bed-- maybe they still have that box. I don't move much so it shouldn't be a problem. Assuming you want to sleep in here. It sounded like they'd cooperate."

"Yea, I'll try it," Khole said simply. "I have to get used to it eventually anyway and it's better than being in the basement."

"True. It's really cold down there in the winter... there is one more thing, though. Dinner. I know we talked a bit about it before but-"

"It's okay, Naki." He stood and emptied his pockets before slipping his cloaker off, though I did notice he didn't remove the daggers he seemed to always carry around. "I'll have my cloaker with me, and I agreed to it before coming."

"Well if you want to eat up here I could always bring something back for you"

"I'll eat with your family" he said, giving a little, perhaps reassuring smile.

"Uh... well, alright." I reached down and let him climb into my palms before heading downstairs. Admittedly, it felt strange. I remembered this would be the first time we'd have a micro at our table that wasn't... well, going to end up food. I never did tell Khole that, even to this day. I wonder if Fen ever told him.

I sat Khole down next to my plate after we washed up; I was nervous about it, to be honest. My family had a pretty bad record with Requorans up to that point. Mom had made a spicy soup and had already settled a bottle cap on the side of my plate for Khole.

"Hey hun," Dad spoke towards Mom as he walked in, apparently having just gotten home. I don't know where he'd been since, to my knowledge, he hadn't found another job yet. Maybe out looking.

"Hey, Naki." He walked over and I got out of my seat to hug.

"Hey, Dad."

"Happy to be back?" he asked as he took his coat off, eyes shifting to gaze at what I assume to be Khole moving over the table. He didn't say anything at first, though.

"Oh yea, glad to have a break," I sighed. "Busy semester-- but it was good."

"That's good t'hear." His gaze finally settled on Khole and he looked between us for a moment. "So this is... Khole."

"Yea." I didn't exactly want to just grab him to bring him up towards dad's face but the table is a bit low. Luckily, Khole stood up again and walked over to the edge of the table.

"Nice to meet you," his voice squeaked up.

"Yea..., you too," Dad returned, reaching down to rub a finger over Khole's head. I wince a little, partially because I'm not sure how Khole felt about it but he maintains a friendly-enough look. I know Fen is not a fan of being patted on the head; he says Neotrians use the gesture on Requorans condescendingly.

"So how did you an' Naki meet?" Dad asked as he hung his coat up, washed his paws, and walked over to his chair to sit down. Khole and I were closest to him; Mom sat at the opposite end of the table from Dad, who was at the head. Nathan and Reggie were sat opposite of me.

"Yea, and what happened to Fen staying? You were really firm about that," Mom added.

"We're both in the school of business," Khole answers. "We have a few classes together."

I filled Khole's bottle cap with some soup and pieces of meat and veggies I'd broken up before I filled my own bowl from the pot at the middle of the table. Having been at college all of this time, it felt a little strange coming back to the generally smaller meals of home. It would take some getting used to, and I even envied Khole a little. If I were a Requoran, this would be plenty.

"Business? What're you planning to do?" Dad asked.

"Well, if we don't all end up excluded then Requorans will become an emerging market. I was kinda thinking I might try to take advantage of that. Otherwise, I dunno."

The table went silent for a moment. "This is really good soup, Mrs. Pelwisk," Khole commented, winning a slight smile from my mom.

"Thank you."

"Fen couldn't make it," I said gently. "He didn't uh... he wanted to stay with another friend for a while."

"Heh, refused after all that?" Dad asked.

"You know why he refused," I sighed.

"Ah." Dad kind of shifted his eyes back down to his bowl. "Well, what can you do..."

"I'm sure he appreciated the gesture," Mom said, apparently catching onto my annoyance.

"Why're you staying with us?" Nate asked, peering across the table at Khole while the clanking of spoons tapping against bowls rang around the dining room.

"Going back home would be too risky," Khole responded. "The trip back leaves me on my own from the local airport to Bolstro and then from there for a two hour bus ride to Barli. With how things are in that area I don't think that it's a great idea. Too many chances to end up captured and sold off."

"Sold off?" Nate asked.

"Mmhm, the government is offering rewards for Requorans who were to be excluded but didn't report. While I'm not one of them, I can't imagine no one has tried with one of us."

"Yea, can't be too careful," Dad agreed. "I did hear about that on the news. They're offering quite a bit."

The table went quiet again. I knew this would take some getting used to. The rest of the conversation pushed away from the Requoran topics and we mostly caught up on what had been going on around here while I was away. As I suspected, Dad was still looking for a job but the government was giving us some support-- that much was par-for-the-course news. Reggie and Nathan were doing okay in school, Mom had begun working with the usher board at our church so we'd all have to be up -earlier- to get there on time; I was bummed a bit by that. It also got me to thinking about Khole tagging along. I didn't know if he was religious and I doubted it.

It was only an hour or so before we were upstairs again. Reggie and Nathan were on dish-washing duty so it was just me and Khole for a little while. I didn't have any other plans for the evening; probably just relax and watch television. I couldn't help but worry about him just a little, though.

"You really going to be okay without seeing your folks over break? I mean, I know they're not your real parents but... I dunno. After this you won't get another chance until summer."

"I think so. You don't have to worry about that," he said while settled there on the bed next to me. We were on the top-bunk now, where I sleep. He left his cloaker off which is probably for the best. I mean, I bet it'd hold us both but I'd rather not test it. "I wanna find a home out here in the east after I graduate. This'll give me a chance to explore around a little and see what's here."

"Well, alright. I -am- happy to have you here, don't take it the wrong way."

"I didn't. Plus you can see how your parents react to me and adjust for when Fen stays."

"Er... well, yea, I kind of thought of that, too."

"It's not a bad idea. We're not in a relationship, so if this goes sour-- not that I think it'll happen, I'll just make other arrangements next time. Fen, though... well, on top of being much more vocal than I am, has to live with it."

"Heh, true. He's vocal when he feels strongly about something... which is very often."

"I think it's a good thing, mostly. I admit I used to... and sometimes still think he's a bit foolish putting himself at risk the way he does through the paper or otherwise. I thought he'd stop once he figured the arguing wasn't going anywhere."

He looked up towards me. "It's going somewhere, though. Sure, some've disagreed with what he and Sy have to say, but a fair number seem to be with them. What they're doing puts at least one Requoran perspective out there and, as far as I know, at least in terms of the school newspaper, they're the only consistent Requoran voice on campus. One day, if they already aren't, they might even be the most influential if they decide to keep writing."

"You think?" I asked, peering down at him for a moment. I lingered on his words before giving a little shrug. "Sometimes I worry a bit, though. With so much happening sometimes I don't know what to do. It's like he takes everything personally and there're times when being as vocal as he is'll just get him in trouble. You can't shoulder every little slight."

"It's probably personal to him... and to a lot of us. Especially after what happened with Exclusion."

"Yea, I know," I responded. "I get it-- every slight is like salt in the wound. He lost his family and might even lose his livelihood while they've only lost a little sleep if even that."

"He's taking a risk, I agree with you. That's why you're here, though, isn't it? Keep him out of trouble." He elbows against me and gives a closed-lip grin.

"Hey, I try! It's not as easy as I make it look, though." I smirked in return. "What about you? Do you feel that way and just not speak up?"

"Sometimes. I mean, I'm not going to tell you it wouldn't be nice if they decided to just make us citizens and put this all in the past. Sure would make my days easier."

"Heh, yea, that's true. I think it'll happen someday. Not as soon as Fen would like and maybe not even in its entirety at first... but it'll happen."

"I think so, too."

I nod my head a little. "So does that collar ever become uncomfortable?"

"Hmm? Oh, a little. I try to wash and brush beneath it every day to keep things in order. Worst thing about it is that it sticks out like a sore thumb. Everyone looks at you when you walk past them."

"I bet. I guess it's pretty jolting after being able to keep the secret for so long."

"Kinda," he replied. "But I think if I had to choose wearing a collar or being rounded up to be held indefinitely by the government, I'd choose the collar again."

I blinked at that. "Well, you have a point. A sobering, heart-wrenching point but a point. You're very good at this silver-lining stuff, y'know?"

"It's a skill I learned over the years. Don't question what works, I guess." He smiled.

I didn't press him for what he meant by that but I did make a note to ask him more about his life in Kupai while he was staying with me. He'd always danced around giving a straight answer to any such questions up to that point-- something I wasn't certain was because he just genuinely felt it was unimportant or he wasn't fond of the memory. I didn't talk to Fen that night, primarily because I knew he'd be settling into Ian's house; I decided to wait for the next day. Despite it all, I was pretty excited to get on with break. Khole was here and I had Motley to hang out with, too. Plus since I was back in town I could get in touch with highschool friends, maybe get one of our old parties going and catch up. College had been so busy and it'd been so long since I'd just chilled out the way we used to that I got myself excited just thinking about it. I wondered if it'd been any different than when we were all in school together.

I was sure Fen and I would see one another a fair amount of the time as well; I could drive over to Ian's house and pick him up... though gas money would be a problem. I did get a box set up for Khole and we lined it with the same stuff Nate used for Lawry. It seemed to work; he said it was comfortable. I still felt sore about Fen not staying. I was really looking forward to it. Maybe I should've fought a bit harder with him.