FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Author's Notes: Before you read this, I wanted to say a few things first. I had started writing this story a few years back so it's kinda old and I have recently lost my passion to write, I'm hoping that if I post this and enough people like this story, I can rekindle that passion and be able to write more since it's something I used to enjoy doing. This story was based off of a roleplay I did irl in case anyone was curious. Also, I'm not asking criticism for the way I write but if you would like to comment positive things about my story/writing then feel free to do so. Hope you enjoy~

Abiding Fervor - Vol. 1 - Chapter 1

The world is a cruel place. This I have learned within a short amount of time. Enough time to have a past, even if mine wasn't very long. Despite the fact that my mind hasn't been on this earth for very long, I still had lots of enemies, and they all wanted me dead. There I sat on a couch inside a Fur Bar which was known for it's no-human policy. It was a great place for someone like me to hide, with my head down, staring at the ground. Everyone else around me was lost in conversation while I was lost in my own thoughts, contemplating the past. Just when I was spacing out and completely unaware of what was going on around me, I suddenly hear this heavenly sound that I almost mistook for an angel.

"You seem pretty lost in thought there." I looked up at him in surprise by his friendly voice. I was so used to being alone and having people be scared of me, I wasn't really sure what to say in reply. But he stood there in front of me with this expression of interest, waiting for my answer.

"Yeah... Just thinking about things." I finally replied while sitting back in the couch, lifting my arms up on the back rest as I stared up at him to see his reaction. He just smiled warmly at me before plopping himself down on the couch next to me. He was a red fox with the most beautiful crimson fur with white spots here and there. He had a black crescent moon on his chest above his left nipple and a smaller one on his cheek under his left eye. His shaggy red hair with white streaks covered one of his emerald eyes. I don't normally use the word "adorable" but that was the word I thought of while looking up at his face. His tall ears perked forward as if eager to hear what I had to say, his fluffy tail wagging slightly. I couldn't believe how friendly he was. He didn't seem to be scared of me at all, but rather interested in me as I watched him look at me as if I were a celebrity. I could tell he was a bit shy from the slight blush that spread nicely across his cheeks. His tail was twitching which probably meant he was a bit nervous and I found that kind of cute.

"My name's Zal. Mind if I ask you what your name is?" He sounded so friendly and open, I almost laughed but I managed to hold it back. Instead I looked at him with a blank expression as I answered his question.

"Fen." I told him with a tone that sounded uninterested. What happened next surprised me. What I thought was a shy fox ended up being more bolder then I expected. This red fox known as Zal started laughing. His laugh alone struck something inside me that I liked.

"That's a cute name Fen-Fen. You don't seem to be very open with people. Why do you keep yourself such a mystery?" Zal asked after he was done laughing. How dare this little fox disgrace my name like that! But for some reason, I liked the new nickname. His question gave me an opportunity to tease him. I don't know why I felt this urge to tease him but I knew I would enjoy doing it.

"So that I can attract a cute fox like you." I replied with a smirk while my eyes stared straight into his with what could be mistaken for lust. My smirk became a smile as I saw deep blush spread across his innocent face. Oh yes, I definitely enjoyed the fox's reaction. It was this moment that I realized I wanted to spend more time with the adorable fox. Something about the way he reacted towards me and his cute expressions alone with his smooth fur which had silky shine to it, it awakened something within me that I couldn't yet explain.

"Oh is that so? What exactly are you suggesting?" Zal asked while blushing but smiling with a sly smile that threw me off guard. The damn fox was getting bolder and bolder by the minute.

"I wasn't suggesting anything. I merely called you cute. But it seems to me like you wanted me to suggest something. Am I wrong?" I asked the now blushing red fox. What Zal said next was something I never thought I'd hear him say.

"No, you're not wrong. But it's hard to resist such a handsome cat." He replied with confidence. I couldn't stop myself from chuckling at his response and in return, the fox gave me a slight glare.

"You think I'm handsome huh? Well Zal, there's some things you should know about me before you get too attached." I told him with a smile. "I thought you should know that I'm only half tiger." I continued with a chuckle. Zal looked at me with even more curiosity then before.

"Really? What is your other half?"

"I'm half arctic wolf and half Siberian white tiger..." I paused for a moment as I started to remember my past. "I guess my parents were one and the other. I... I can't remember which." It surprised me how much I opened up to this frail fox but for some reason I felt like he deserved to know who I was. Not only that but I also felt very comfortable with telling him things that I wouldn't normally tell other people. Zal's smile faded and his happy expression changed into one of concern.

"What do you mean you can't remember? Did you get taken from your parents at a young age?" He asked me with his innocent eyes staring at me with worry. I never had someone care for me like this nor was I used to telling someone about my personal life. But somehow, Zal had a way of pulling it out of me without even trying.

"No... My parents died right after I was born." I explained to the curious fox with my usual staid expression.

"Oh no, how sad... Were they murdered?" Zal asked and I froze at his question, not sure if I should answer it. For once someone was paying attention to me and the last thing I wanted to do was scare them off. It wasn't like I was lying; I just failed to tell him the whole story.

"Yeah, they were... but I don't remember how they died exactly..." Zal looked at me with those big innocent eyes and then quickly looked down into his lap like he was about to cry.

"I'm sorry... It must have been hard to tell me that." The fox apologized and I couldn't help but want to give him a hug but I kept my distance.

"Don't apologize, I could have easily told you nothing. But something about you... I don't know... I feel calm." I couldn't believe the words that were coming out of my own mouth. But something about this fox made me feel calm enough to reveal myself to him.

"You're not from around here, are you tiger?" Zal asked, returning the handsome smile on his face. I looked at him blankly, not really sure what to say, but somehow I found the words.

"No... I'm not. Why do you ask?" The fox gave me a smirk that I found devilishly handsome.

"You're not like anybody I've ever met." His reply came as his smirk turned into a warm smile.

"I could say the same about you." I told him with my own smile. He blushed slightly from my response and smiled dumbly which I found adorable yet again.

"So I make you feel calm? Why is that?" The shy fox asked out of curiosity. He was fidgeting with his tail which most likely meant he was nervous. I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

"I haven't quite figured it out yet but I'm hoping I get the chance to find out." I replied with a sly smile as I crossed my legs and swung my tail back and forth as I could feel myself getting anxious for some reason. It was almost like I couldn't wait to see his reactions. I felt like a little kid who picks on the one they like. Did this mean I was feeling something towards him? Was I so easily seduced by this little fox? The fox in question blushed deeply from my words and looked away from my face and down at his lap as if too embarrassed to look at me. I don't know why I did it but maybe it was something inside me that screamed for attention or rather something that screamed for Zal. I reached over and placed my hand under his chin and forced his head to turn so that his eyes looked into mine. "Listen fox, I don't normally do this but I'm willing to stick around you if you'll let me." I told him with a warm smile. He just looked at me with those beautiful emerald eyes with deep blush present across his cheeks. Perhaps he was having trouble finding the words to say. What happened next ended up confusing me but I just went along with it. The cute little fox wrapped his arms around me and embraced me in a tight hug. I wouldn't have admitted it at the time but I'm pretty sure I blushed slightly from the feel of his warmth colliding with my own. His soft fur brushing against mine like silk was causing my body to react in a way I wasn't used to. His scent was even stronger now and I found myself inhaling it like a drug. Suddenly we both heard a soft rumbling noise which I didn't recognize at first. It had been so long since I last purred that I had forgotten what it sounded like. I heard the little red fox chuckling over my shoulder before he whispered into my sensitive hearing.

"I could get used to that." He giggled before pulling away to look at me with his adorable smile. It seemed like no matter what this fox did, I was fascinated by it all. Zal then looked at me excitedly, eager to tell me something. "I want you to meet my dad! Well... he's not my real dad but... he took me in after my parents abandoned me. He's very kind and I want to ask him if you can be a part of our family!" I don't know why I agreed to meet his family, perhaps it was because I wanted to make the cute fox happy. He seemed so excited about the idea of me joining his family that I just couldn't say no. I was nervous about the idea of joining a family simply because I never had a family of my own and I had no idea how to react towards them but I decided to give it a shot for Zal's sake. The little red fox brought me to where his family was currently gathering and pulled me aside to speak with me privately before I could meet anyone yet. "Now I need you to know a few things before I set you out into the wild. First of all, my dad is the one who goes by the name of Neko. He can be very gentle and kind but he can also be very tough and scary. He's very powerful so make sure not to piss him off." As I was listening to Zal speak, I couldn't help but chuckle inside because I had a dark secret that nobody else knew about. A secret that could keep me alive in the worst of battles. But I decided not to bring it up with Zal just yet. For now, I kept it to myself. "Second, Neko's right hand man is the one who goes by the name of Jade. Jade is also my boyfriend... at least I think he is." Zal's expression became less enthusiastic as I watched him think about this Jade person.

"What do you mean you think he is? Either he is or he isn't. Which is it?" I asked him, suddenly feeling a little agitated. The little red fox still didn't know what to say. Instead he decided to skip my question altogether and move on with the briefing.

"Just don't tell Neko, Jade, or anyone else what I just told you... Okay? If you can do that then you should be fine. I'll be here beside you to help and make sure you don't step out of any lines." Zal assured but it didn't make me feel any better. I felt like I was about to be interrogated by these people. In any case, I was doing all of this for Zal. I lost some of my confidence after he mentioned having a boyfriend but from the sound of things, he and his boyfriend weren't doing so good. So I decided to stay beside Zal in case something happened where he needed a shoulder to cry on, I wanted to be there for him. But so far, I already disliked this Jade person and I haven't even met him yet. I decided that I would ask Zal about Jade later when he was more comfortable with telling me about his past. I let the fox drag me towards his family as I contemplated these thoughts. I would have never guessed which one was Neko but luckily he stepped forward and held out his hand for me to shake.

"It seems Zal has brought a new friend who wants to join the family. I am Neko Sephron, nice to meet you..."

"It's Fen." I finished for him as I took his hand for a strong handshake. This Neko guy didn't look like a feral cat to me, nor did he look strong. But I decided that looks weren't everything so I took Zal's word for it and chose to believe in Neko's strength. He had raven black fur with white tiger stripes that curved around his muscles nicely. He had spiky deep purple hair that could barely cover his purple eyes which matched the purple and black striped mini shirt he wore. He seemed like a nice guy so far, I decided I liked him.

"Before I welcome you into our family so easily Fen... there are a few things I like to address. Zal is my son and I want you to know that if anything happens to him, I won't hesitate in killing you. This family is very important to me and I will protect them with my life if necessary. Is that understood?" Now I knew what Zal was talking about. I could see why Neko would give off a scary vibe sometimes just with his words alone.

"I don't think it will come to that because if anything happens to Zal, I'll be the one doing the killing." I replied to Neko with a sly smile as I folded my arms across my chest while my tail curled from side to side. It seemed to me that Neko wasn't used to people talking to him like that because he gave me a dumbfounded expression. In the corner of my eye, I could see Zal next to me with his mouth hanging open as blush spread across his face.

"I see." Neko chuckled. "You seemed very honest and determined with that statement, in which case I'd be happy to welcome you into the family." Neko was about to continue when he got interrupted by a gray and pink cat that was standing behind him.

"Master Neko, surely you should think this through a bit more... We know next to nothing about this total stranger." This cat who seemed very bothered by me had light gray fur with light pink markings that I couldn't really see clearly with the fishnet shirt he wore. His hair was a soft pink and the length reached past his shoulders. Not to sound rude but he looked rather girlish. Even his voice was a bit high for a male.

"Silence Jade, I am well aware of that. How else is Fen supposed to prove himself? He can't very well do that if we don't give him a chance." Neko explained while signaling for the gray cat to be quiet for a bit longer. So this was Jade. I found it hard to believe he was Zal's boyfriend do to the fact that the two of them were so distant toward each other and it seemed like Jade was more attached to Neko then anybody else. "Welcome to the family Fen, you are now a Sephronian." Neko said with a smile and I smiled back and nodded in reply. The group of Sephronians walked away to continue with what they were doing as I turned to Zal who was looking at me in awe.

"Oh my god, I can't believe you pulled that off! I was so scared that dad was going to throw you out!" Zal giggled and took my hand in his to get me to follow him. I blushed slightly as I could feel how warm his hand felt in mine. I willingly took his hand and gave it a snug squeeze. "Come on, let me show you around the Sephronian kingdom so that you always know where to go and what to do, okay?" the fox smiled happily at me. I could tell he was happy and excited that I was a part of his family now. He looked like a kid who had just gotten a new toy and was very excited to play with it. I wouldn't mind if this cute little fox wanted to play with me.

"So that pink cat is your boyfriend huh?" I asked while Zal was in the middle of showing me the throne room which had two big chairs that had smaller chairs surrounding them in a wide circle. Zal paused and looked at the ground with a rather impassive expression.

"I guess..." His ears drooped slightly as he said this. "We talk but not like we used to..."

"What happened?" I asked feeling concerned for the small frail fox. His eyes narrowed in sadness at the floor like he was about to cry but nothing came out. His tail stopped moving and his shoulders sagged as if his body lost the strength to move.

"I'm not really sure... We just... fell apart." Zal answered in a rather quiet tone as he continued to stare at the floor. It made me sad to see Zal act like this, looking so helpless and destroyed inside. But it made me happy that he felt comfortable enough with me to share his personal life.

"Well if you two fell apart like you say then why do you still call him your boyfriend?"

"Because he hasn't exactly called things off... he keeps telling me that he needs time to think. And I'm willing to wait as long as it takes." Zal explained as his expression turned into determination and I could see his fists clench at his sides slightly.

"You know, if I truly loved someone, I wouldn't make them wait forever to hear my answer." I said while brushing some of my silver bangs out of my eyes.

"Well if you truly love someone then you're willing to wait forever to hear their answer." Zal argued back as his gaze upon the floor became more intense. I couldn't help but smirk as I could see his body trying so hard to lie to itself.

"I wonder how many times you have to say that to get yourself to believe it. I can tell by your body language alone that you're trying to convince yourself that this Jade is a good guy who will come back to you and apologize. You really are a gullible fox, aren't you?" I chuckled and started walking closer toward him. He looked up at me with deep blush spreading across his face which most likely meant I was right. "While you wait for your boyfriend to give you an answer, mind if I kiss you?" I asked with a smile as I stood in front of him. The fox wasn't exactly a small person; he was tall enough to reach my chin. I just happened to be a little taller than him by a couple inches, he had a slightly less muscular build than me. He stood there blushing and staring at me with those big green eyes. He may not have said yes but he didn't reject me either. I slowly leaned in closer to his face as the distance between our lips slowly diminished. My warm lips met his soft ones and what was supposed to be a simple kiss turned into something more as the fox willingly opened his mouth for me as my tongue felt eager to see what he tasted like inside. He closed his eyes and I could tell he was crying because I could feel the wetness of his tears run along my cheek. It was like he was releasing all the pain that he kept inside and I helped him open the door to let it out. Perhaps he needed this as badly as I needed him. We were both missing something from our lives that we helped satisfy with each other. I was a person who was falling apart and he was a person who was in a relationship that was falling apart. It felt like fate brought us together so that we could help each other heal so that we could grow further. Perhaps the fox was thinking the same thing as he wrapped his arms around my neck and deepened the kiss, our tongues exploring each other and tasting our flavors collide. He tasted sweet like candy and I couldn't stop myself from wanting more. I let my hands slide up his smooth sides and move up on his back where my sharp nails grazed along the sensitive flesh. I could tell he liked it when he gave me a small moan that was muffled by our kiss. Our muscular torsos were sharing body heat as they pressed together. We could also feel something else press together but we were both too lost in the kiss to notice. After we ran out of air in our lungs, we pulled apart from the heated kiss to stare at each other while we panted heavily. We were both thinking about taking this further but we heard a sudden noise come from outside the throne room. We instantly moved apart in fear that it was Jade who was coming. Instead it was a human. He had long red hair that was tied back in a pony that swayed as he came closer towards us with a smile. He was wearing clothing that looked Gothic Victorian.

"Good evening Zal, is this Fen, the one everyone is talking about?" The human's voice was deep but his facial features were very feminine and handsome. He didn't look very dangerous but his scent definitely smelled a bit odd for a human.

"Yes, this is the tiger wolf hybrid that Neko has accepted into our family." Zal explained with a slight smile as blush was spreading across his face as if nervous that this human would find out what we had just did.

"It's nice to meet you Fen. You can call me Jacob." The human said with a handsome smile as he held out his hand for me to shake. I took his hand and smiled back. "Also, I want you to remember that if you do anything to hurt this family, let's just say you will no longer be needing that tail of yours." Jacob finished his hand shake with a smile. Obviously this was no mere human. No regular human in their right mind would ever threaten a beast unless they knew they were strong enough to take them on. There was more to this Jacob then meets the eye is what I figured. I smiled back at him to assure him that I understood his warning. He seemed content with that and strolled off to go about his business once more. I then turned to Zal who seemed to be looking at me nervously as if I was going to run away from him. I gave him a smirk as I brushed some hair out of my eyes and swayed my tail.

"You know... I love your family already." I told him with a slight chuckle. Zal's face became relieved after I said this and he smiled warmly at me.

"I'm so glad that you do. I was worried they would scare you away... and I really want you to join my family..." The red fox said with blush spreading across his face.

"Is that so? I wonder why the little fox wants his family to accept me so badly... perhaps you can enlighten me?" I asked with a sly smile, my arms folding across my chest as I waited for Zal's reaction.

"I'm not that little!" He shouted back, feeling offended somehow. "The reason I want them to accept you so badly is because..." The fox paused as if afraid to say the rest.

"Because what?" I urged him to finish what he had to say. His entire face becoming redder then his fur, blushing like mad as if too embarrassed to say any more. Perhaps he was afraid that if he finished what he had to say, we might finish what we started earlier and make things more complicated then they needed to be. Understanding this, I lifted my hand and placed it on his head and ruffled his hair a bit, causing him to close one eye and blush. "It's okay if you don't want to tell me. Perhaps we'll finish this conversation some other time. The hour is late and believe it or not, I do sleep at night." I explained with a slight chuckle as I started to leave the fox's side.

"W-wait!" The shy fox shouted before I could leave. I turned to look at him and saw his expression full of what could be described as sadness or disappointment. "Will you be here tomorrow?" He asked with that shy tone of his that only seemed to draw me in even more. I gave him a warm smile as I replied.

"Of course." The little fox seemed to be happy with my answer and gave me a warm smile as he waved farewell.

"I'll see you tomorrow then Fen-Fen." The fox giggled, remembering the nickname he gave to me.

"Good night Zal. Sweet dreams." I told him in a deep voice as I smiled handsomely before leaving the fox alone to blush from my words. That night, as I lay in my handmade bedding with my arms behind my head as a support, I couldn't help but smirk as I thought about the frail red fox. I thought about his fur that was as soft as silk, his fine hair that flowed wildly, his fluffy tail that moved in a cute fashion, and his deep emerald eyes that reminded you of a tropical rain forest that you wanted to get lost in. I also couldn't help but want to hold him whenever his expression showed sorrow or frustration. Not to mention it was more than fun to tease the gullible fox. I wanted to become closer to him. More importantly I wanted to make him mine. I still wasn't sure what exactly was going on between Jade and the fox but what I did know was that Zal was having second thoughts considering he was willing enough to kiss me. If I could make the fox give in to me, perhaps I could make him mine and only mine... forever. I smiled at the thought of this and became content enough to fall asleep, eager to see the cute fox the very next day.