FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

This was becoming a habit. It wasn’t even nighttime yet and he was already letting Missy drag him into another movie. Oh well, he already failed on getting her out of the room, and that was all he really had plans for. The inflatable was packed up and stored away, meaning he was pretty much done for the day. He watched the monstress scroll through movie after movie, passing over each one with a ‘nah’ or a ‘nope’. “It’s all the same thing, you know,” Leo said. “Pick anything.”

Missy turned to him but kept scrolling. “There is an art to horror. Don’t you think I of all people would know that? Just let Ms. Missy find the best movie.” Leo wasn’t sure if he should be annoyed by the lack of a last name or the stupidity of Miss Missy. Swanson wouldn’t be a bad last name for her. She turned back to the television. “Plus, they really aren’t all the same. Check this one out.” She pointed at the screen. “In this one they make a monster and then the main guy fucks it. Didn’t see that coming, did’ja? Don’t think you wanna see that one, huh? Huh?”

“No, not really. Though that doesn’t sound like horror, more like glorified pornography.” Leo crossed his arms.

“People are scared by sex.”

“No they aren’t.” The lack thereof, maybe.

“OK, buddy, just say that to the biggest franchise about space rape! Getting done dirty by a monster down there—” she tapped the remote on her head “—now everyone is scared of that.”

“You mean they’re afraid of being violated.”

“Same thing when it comes to a monster.” She paused. “In movies and stuff. I’m a very nice monster.” Missy whipped her head back to look at him. “Or am I?” She opened her mouth and bared her teeth, but instead of intimidating it came across as ridiculous.

“You had better be. Rude monsters don’t get to sleep on beds.”

Missy’s mouth snapped shut. “Yes, sir. No evil monsters here. Only fuzzywuzzy.”

“Don’t call yourself that either,” Leo replied. Not like she was really fuzzy either, her fur was surprisingly thin and sleek. Maybe she was some kind of weird seal. Imagining Missy in the water was a far more amusing thought than he could’ve pictured. He briefly considered asking her if she’s gone for a swim and then quickly decided against it.

“Here, how about killer clowns from outer space?”

“Being afraid of clowns is a really stupid joke at this point.”

“Ooh, big guy over here isn’t afraid of clowns. Fine, OK.” She hummed. “What are you afraid of?”

“What kind of question is that?” Leo asked.

“Well we’re gonna watch horror, right? We should watch something you think is scary.”

“Alright, I guess that makes some sense.” Leo paused and thought about it. “Dying before thirty?”

“Oh come on, everyone’s afraid of dying too. Something more like, real.”

“Dying before thirty is very real.” He was willing to bet those supposed old childhood friends were probably knocking on the door.

“More solid, less philosophical. Oh, I know!”

Leo perked up. “What?”

“Remember when you came back from the aquarium?”

“And I gave you that stuffed toy,” Leo hastily replied. “So what?”

“I remember you telling me there were fish on ocean floor, so we looked it up in a book.”

Leo furrowed his brow. “And?”

“And the second— and I mean absolute second— you saw one of those anglerfish, you shut the book and put it back.”

“So what? Those things are basically aliens.” Eyes too big. Teeth too long. In the pitch black darkness. Leo looked at the creature in front of him. Oh, yeah, she was all of those things. Alright, he might’ve had a slight thing about deep sea creatures. “I don’t think you’ll find any movies about deep sea anglerfish.”

Missy got one of her stupid grins. “Well you better believe I’m gonna try!”

“What are you afraid of, then?”

“Monsters aren’t afraid of anything.”

“Good monsters too?”

“Guess you got me there.” Missy turned back to the television and started scrolling again. “I don’t know, really,” she replied simply. Leo briefly wondered what it was a monster could be afraid of that she wouldn’t say, but quickly corrected himself. She was probably too embarrassed to say.

“Cockroaches?” Leo asked.

“Ugh, those are gross but they’re not scary.”

“House centipedes?”

“Why are your only guesses bugs?”

“I thought all girls were afraid of bugs.” Leo shrugged.

Missy briefly turned back and smiled. “Not bugs.”

“Spiders then?”

“Same thing! Those are bugs!”

“Alright, well just pick a movie already.”

“Ah, ah, you can’t rush me on this or we’re gonna watch Thankskilling, OK?” Missy said. Leo almost wanted to ask her what that meant. Something told him that was not a threat to be taken lightly. So he waited, and waited, and waited. Missy scrolled past every single movie on the list. He wasn’t sure if she was prolonging her search or if she really did have some sense of quality to the trash she watched. Could also be that she was still looking for deep sea horror. There was an odd amusing factor to her trying her best to scare him. It might’ve even been cute were it not for the fact that it was taking up his valued time. Though again, not as if he had anything better to do at the moment. Not unless his boss called in. His eyes flicked to his phone. Nope, not happening.

After much scrolling, Missy finally selected a movie and fell back to Leo’s side. He was fiddling with his phone at the moment so he didn’t catch whatever ill-conceived choice she made. “So? What’d you pick?” he asked, not bothering to look up.

“You have to find out with your precious eyes, Lion,” Missy replied. Leo sighed and set his phone down. Much to his surprise the title card was already showing, along with a scenic vieew of an underwater space. “Dun, dun, dun, Jaws!” She turned to him and snapped her mouth shut, quite loudly at that. Almost sounded like she could crush bones with those.

“Don’t do that in my face. You’re going to get spit on me.” Leo was surprised she picked something so utterly inoffensive. Jaws was scary in its own way, but it was far more tame than the gorefests made nowadays. Gorefests that Leo wholeheartedly expected Missy to indulge in as part of her monstrous fantasies. Not nearly as cheesy either. “You sure you picked the right one?”

“Jaws is a classic!”

“Sure is.” He refrained from adding a ‘but’ in the off chance that she switched to a far worse movie.

“Plus, I know your weakness of the sea now!”

“Not the sea, the deep sea.”

“Look it’s really not that different. Both have scary fish that you wouldn’t be able to swim away from.”

“It’s not just the fish. The darkness, the pressure, the extreme cold, the lack of anything at all.” He was getting unnerved just explaining it.

Missy waved her hand and frowned. “OK, OK, I don’t wanna hear it. Just enjoy the scary fish. Sheesh.” And enjoy he did. While Leo only had a hazy memory of watching it once on cable, the movie did indeed still hold up as a classic. Not exactly a scary one, rather one that was simply an entertaining movie. Missy likewise appeared to enjoy it. Perhaps a little too much, as she would mumble every other line with almost frightening accuracy. She was even putting on similar voices to them. If she had the production team behind her, Leo had no doubt she could shoot the entire movie again from memory. He was thankful she didn’t know Japanese, otherwise it might’ve happened with the men in rubber suit movies too, as cute as that would’ve been. Judging on her insistence of singing along to the main theme, she could’ve done its soundtrack too.

One particular outburst came when Missy shouted, without missing a beat, “You’re gonna need a bigger boat!” Which startled him far more than any appearance of an animatronic shark ever could. “Do you have any cigarettes around?”

“What? Why?” Leo asked.

“’Cause it’d go well with Brody’s lines.”

“No, I don’t,” Leo replied, flabberghasted. It was a wonder Missy was still alive.

“I wouldn’t smoke ‘em or anything. It’s impossible to get that smell off of your fur.”

“Just go back to the movie.”

“Fiiiiiine.” She turned her attention back to the movie, just in time for another line. “That’s a twenty footer,” she mumbled.

_

Like all good things, the movie eventually had to come to a close. Maybe only slightly dampened by Missy clapping as the credits rolled. “Good movie or what?” Missy said.

“Good movie,” Leo replied, nodding. “You didn’t have to say every line though, did you?”

“It wasn’t every line.”

“It was at least every other line.”

“Maybe, but it’s good! A creature like me can’t help it.”

“A creature like you?”

“You know, a girl.” She fluttered her eyelashes, or eyelids. It occurred to him she didn’t seem to have eyelashes, or they were quite small.

“Right, the rare creature known as a girl. I forgot.”

“I mean, according to your life, they seem like an extinct species.” She tilted her head. “Is that the right word, species?”

“If all girls were like you, it’s probably for the best that they’re extinct.” He sat up.

“Where’re you going?”

“It’s almost dinner time. I want to eat. Put them together and you’ll figure it out.”

“Well, hey, you don’t have to cook.”

“We’re not ordering out, we’re not getting drive-thru.”

“We better when Halloween comes around and it’s my birthday.”

“Your birthday is in July, Missy.”

“You still remember!” Leo stood up. “Wait, wait, wait, wait. I wanted to make dinner. Or try.”

Leo snapped to her in surprise. “You feeling alright?”

“I’m trying to do something nice, don’t be mean.”

“Is there something you wa—” Missy took on a tired expression and rolled her eyes. Overdone joke. “Sorry. I guess if you really want to try.” It sounded like a terrible idea. She did make an alright sandwich, but that didn’t need anything fancy. “What did you have in mind?” Curiosity took the reins. He had to see what she was planning now.

“That’s part of the surprise,” Missy said, shtuting off the television. She crawled over to his side of the bed and stood up next to him. “Go have a seat, dear guest!” She presented the way with a hand, wiggling her fingers. Leo took her up on her offer and walked out into the living room, immediately going for the dining table and sitting down. He watched Missy totter over to the stove oven and pull the apron free from its handle. She put it on and fiddled with the strings for a bit before sighing. “You mind helping me with this?”

“Didn’t you put it on last time?” Leo asked.

“Yeah, but that’s why it took me an hour to make a sandwich.” Figures. She waved the strings about. “The faster I get it on the faster you eeeeeeat,” she cooed. He didn’t like the way she phrased that. Leo stood up again and, easing up to her back, took hold of the strings. He silently regretted ever having bought an apron as he did up the strings in a bow, making certain to keep his fingers away from her. As soon as the thing was done up tightly, he sat right back down. “Perfect. Now I can cook without getting grease all over me.” She looked at the array of cooking implements before her. There wasn’t a chance she knew how to use any of it.

“Where’d you learn to cook?” Leo asked, already eyeing the cabinet with the fire extinguisher. “Also, wash your hands.”

“I learned it from watching you.” Missy nodded and washed her hands in the sink. “And I sorta splurged on cooking videos when doing that computer stuff.” She flicked her hands to dry them off.

Leo set aside her slacking and lack of proper hygiene. “Good luck.” He crossed his arms and watched her closely. For the first few minutes all she did was stare at the kitchen. Occasionally she would point at the fridge and the cabinets while mumbling to herself. At least she seemed to be taking it seriously. “You may begin at any time.”

“You can’t rush perfection.” Her staring continued, then she tentatively reached into a cupboard and pulled out a pan, setting it carefully on the stove. “You gotta use the no-stick spray right? Wait, don’t tell me, I know.” She pulled that out too and sprayed the thing down. Probably too much though. With that task done, she moved to the fridge and pulled out some ground beef patties. Cheeseburgers? Seems she couldn’t stay away from them forever. Chemical free at least.

Missy went about assembling the rest of her meal while the patties defrosted. Simple stuff, lettuce, cheese, tomato, onions. “You got potatos?” she asked suddenly. Leo pointed down at one of the cupboards. “Gotcha.” She leaned down and opened it. “Ohhhh, there we go.”

“We don’t have the stuff to make fries. Not fries how you like, anyways.”

“I’m still gonna try!” Missy pulled out two potatos and set them aside. Then, using her claws, she finely sliced them into fry-like pieces. Leo wasn’t sure how that would taste, but he had to admit that she was indeed trying. “Salt it down and you’ve got fries.”

“Uh, sure, something like that.”

Leo continued to gawk at her for quite some time. Slicing all the vegetables needed. Cooking the meat as required, perhaps a little too long. Cheese on top, mind the placement. Buns warmed. Leo shook his head. Hamburger buns. Potato-sticks cooked. Once all of that was done, she assembled the cheeseburgers slightly sloppily and presented them on two plates. “Ta-da!” Missy said. She placed them on the table. “Whaddya think? Not bad for my first try, huh?”

“Is it actually your first?”

“OK, fine, third.”

“No wonder I’ve been running out of stuff, but yes, not bad.” He pulled a plate closer. It did smell good at least. “You ate the last attempts, right?”

“Sure did, and they weren’t even that bad!” Missy sat down and stared at him. “Go on, have a bite.” She was still breathing, so it was probably safe to consume. Leo picked the thing up and took a tentative bite. He nodded and took another bite. “Eh? Eh? It’s good right?”

Leo swallowed. “Should’ve probably used cheddar instead of provolone—”

“Cheeses are all the same.”

Leo rolled his eyes. “But yes, it’s not bad.”

“Ah, ah, you mean good.”

“If it makes you feel better, sure.”

“Say it.”

“It’s good.”

Missy let out a small squeal of delight and pulled her own plate over. “I knew you’d love it. Everyone loves a cheeseburger. You’d have to be some sort of demon not to.” She picked up her own sloppy mess of a burger and took half of it in one bite. “Tomatosh shuck but—” she swallowed “—they’re good in a burger. I think there’s some psychological thing behind it.”

“Could be that the ingredients go together? You know, like every other food?” He tested one of the ghetto fries. Salty potatos. Supposed he could live with that.

“Nah, it’s the burger.”

“You gonna cook more then?”

“You mean you like it enough for me to cook more?” Missy asked, eyes widening.

“If you want to. I did say it was good, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but after I told you to.”

“Believe me, if it were bad I’d tell you.”

“Good. Or bad. Don’t break my heart.” She shoveled a handful of fries into her maw.

“If this is your third attempt it’s pretty good. You might make something edible next time.”

“Ughhhh, you’re killing me here,” she replied with a chuckle. “Hey, maybe I can make you lunch for work?” Leo’s face hardened. As casual as that was, it occurred to him how awkward that would be. Only two people do that for a man. Mothers and wives. At the same time, however, he also broke the rule of never having the fairer sex as a roommate. As fair as Missy was. Perhaps he was a little old-fashioned in his thinking. It would give her something else to do. “You’re making that face.”

“I was just thinking what you could actually make in a reasonable amount of time. Just so you’re not up all night making lunch for me.”

“Was that sandwich not—” she kissed her bundled fingers “—mwah! Perfection?”

“It was good, but I don’t think that would travel very well,” Leo said. He bit into another couple of salted potatos. Not the worst snack.

“We can double bag it in ziplocs or something.”

“That’s something, I guess.” Missy took her burger, and with two more large bites, finished the whole thing.

“Don’t you want to savor the food?” Leo asked.

“I’m savoring it in my gut right now. I’ve got tastebuds there too, you know.”

“No you don’t.”

“OK, I don’t, but I sure have more on my tongue!”

Leo interjected. “Don’t stick out your tongue.”

“I wasn’t gonna, gosh. Anyways, how can you take the time to savor something so good, right? Don’cha just wanna eat it right now?”

“I’ll take my time, thanks.” Just in the off chance he needed to rush off to the bathroom. Despite that possibility, he continued to eat in silence. With Missy sitting directly in front of him, he found it to be a somewhat difficult task to settle his eyes anywhere, going from ceiling to table back to plate.

“This is a little boring.”

“You can go off and watch TV if you want, just leave behind the apron.”

“You’d like me to take off the apron, huh? Pfft, sorry. Nah I wanna watch you enjoy my work of love.”

“That makes it sound kind of gross when you put it like that.”

“Hey dude, you said it, not me.” She held up her hands.

“Oh whatever.” Leo rolled his eyes.

Missy tapped her claw on the table. “So uh, what kinda bed are you gonna get? You know, for your room.”

“Something that delivers quickly.”

“Not gonna pick something out real good?” Her tapping sped up.

“It’ll be good. I just figure you’ll want to get to your room real quick.” He took another bite. “Probably should cook the onions next time.”

“Yeah, real quick. Say, you get me a TV for that room yet?”

“If it really means that much to you, we can... I dunno, mount my TV on your wall.”

“No way. That’s gonna ruin movie nights.”

“We can always have those in the living room.” He nodded to the screen. “It has to get some use, right?”

“I use it when I’m waiting for you to get back.” She pulled her hand off the table.

“I’m sure you do.”

They fell back into silence. It felt like every topic under the sun had been exhausted. That is unless Missy had some sort of stupid to question to ask. Of course she did. It was only a matter of time before she had something to ask. “Hey.” Right on cue. “I got a question for ya.”

“I know it’s something silly because you felt the need to announce it, but go ahead.”

Missy was completely undettered. “You think I’d look good as a human?”

Leo shook his head. “Should probably ask that when you’re wearing clothes. Otherwise it gives a very wrong impression.”

Missy looked down at herself. “Oh. Yeah, my bad, but still.”

“I don’t know, Missy. How am I supposed to translate your features to humans?” She had cute curly hair. That was probably as much as he could give her. “I guess your hair is nice. Your head hair. How does that work anyways?”

“You tell me,” she replied, tapping on his arm.

“Fair point.”

“OK, OK, next question.”

“This going to be a game now?”

“You think I could pull off a ponytail? The whole thing?”

“Your hair’s a bit short for that, don’t you think?” That made him wonder if her head hair grew any. He’d have to get good with scissors if she didn’t cut it herself. Not the kind of stuff he wanted to be thinking about during dinner. Wasn’t much else to think about, though.

“I could get extensions.”

“Then maybe,” Leo replied. A no on hair growing out, then?

“Never tell a girl maybe.”

“Maybe I’ll think about it.”

“Hope you’re not like that with other girls,” she said with a small smile.

“No, just you.”

“I guess that makes me pretty special, huh?” In far more ways than one, yes. That brought attention back to her human question. Leo briefly wondered how things would be different if she were human. Better not dwell on it. Everything would be different, and maybe she wouldn’t have come as far as she had were circumstances different. His expression dropped and he finished off the rest of his meal, potato things and all. “You ready for seconds?”

“Not really, no.”

“Good, because I’m not cooking anymore today!” Missy stood up and pulled the apron off, tossing it onto the kitchen counter and stretching.

“Put that up properly, please.”

“Oh c’mon.”

“Or you could clean these plates.”

“Got it, putting up the apron.” She did just that, while Leo collected the plates and set them in the sink. “I’ll be in the bedroom if you need me.”

“Yeah, I’ll call if I need you to spit on the plates.”

“Never know, I could have great cleaning powers.”

Leo couldn’t help but smile at the thought. That would be an awfully convenient ability of hers. Not that he was going to test the possibility any time soon. He went to work scrubbing those plates.

_

It must’ve been nearly eleven, but Leo couldn’t sleep. A terrible running theme as of late for him. The weekend was sneaking up on him and it didn’t feel as though he did a single thing of value in the meantime. All because you were doting on the needs of a twenty something year old monster who can’t live on her own. Not comfortably. On top of that he couldn’t shake the thoughts wondering what she was. Maybe it was curiosity. Maybe it was a desire to know what his roommate was. Maybe it was fear. Leo knew what Missy was on the surface. Some sort of nerd stuck in a body of a fragile monster. Could be that she was something far worse underneath. That probably wasn’t the case.

“Hey, Leo,” Missy said. Definitely wasn’t the case. “You’re awake, right?”

“Yes.” He was turned away but he rolled his eyes all the same.

“Yeah I could tell. Your breathing is too normal.”

“So what is it?”

“Nothing.”

“C’mon, Missy.” Leo turned onto his back. “You wouldn’t ask if you didn’t want something.”

“Can’t get anything past you.” There was a long pause. “OK, I gotta ask something.”

“Don’t you always.”

“But this is a serious one.”

“Alright.”

“And... and you gotta forget about it after you give your answer. Promise me that.”

“Sounds hard to do, but I guess I can give it a shot.” Curiosity was turning.

“Promise.”

“You know it’s kind of impossible to do that, right?”

“Then just don’t let it change what you think.”

“Alright, fine, I guess I can promise that.” He shrugged.

Missy grumbled a bit, but continued, “Can I just stay in this room?”

“Look, if you’re in one of your moods just go—”

“I’m not! I’m not, OK?” Out of the corner of his eye, Leo could see her crossing her arms. “I was just thinking maybe if it’s better I stay in here.”

“Why?” Missy didn’t respond. She shifted about, but made no sound. “Missy?”

“Never mind,” she finally said. “Just make sure you get me a good TV.”

And that was that.