All Good Things...
#28 of Miscellany
This can be said to be a continuation from this story, if you wish to look upon it that way. https://www.sofurry.com/view/812383
The room was rather rough in
appearance, like that of a cheesy apartment or old motel that was overpriced because you
could do what you want without having to deal with nosy neighbors. It had the
smell of a place where no one complained about anything until perhaps the odor from
a decomposing body got to be too strong. And then they called the
superintendent and not the police. They left that such tasks to him. It was always safer. The stallion pacing the floor
had a look of unreadable blankness on his face. He was staring at the only other
person in the room. There was music playing in the background, loud enough to
disguise a few noises that might erupt from the room. "I suppose you're wondering why
I dragged you here. I know it's not of the quality that you're used to, but
then I think you're used to things being too good. It never hurts to drop your
standards once in a while. Not everything is about being catered to." There was no answer from the one
in the chair. "Yeah, well, I figured I'd go
over a few things before I called us quits. After all, I invested a lot of
years into this partnership. And I'm not saying you didn't either, but in the
end I think I've gotten the shaft." ...for life is quite absurd and death's the final word, You must always
face the curtain with a bow, Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin, Enjoy
it - it's your last chance anyhow.So always look on the
bright side of death... He was looking at the figure in the chair. "I put a lot
into this. I tried to help you make your dreams come true, and what did it get
me? As far as I see it, not a god damn thing except headache and heartache. Do
you even realize what I've given up for you? I think you do, but you've chosen
to ignore it. And why not? They say to never look a gift horse in the mouth.." He angrily kicked a chair across
the room, where it splintered against the wall. "I'm not perfect. I never
claimed to be and never tried to be. Hell, whose level of perfection was I
supposed to meet? Yours? Mine? No, I was at the top of my game once, and I let
it go because I was convinced there were better things to be had. I see now
that was wrong. The problem is, it's too late for me to go and restart where I
left off. I'm carrying too much baggage for that kind of thing." Another chair sailed across the
room to dissolve into its component pieces. "I gave up a lot for you, and I
followed a lot of your stupid ideas against my better judgment. Whatever you
wanted, you got. And look where that got me! Nowhere! I figured that at the end
of it all, you'd finally produce something, but no. You still decided to wallow
in your own self pity and think that the world owed you something. Well guess
what? It doesn't give a shit about you and I, not one fucking bit." There was a muffled exclamation
from the other person in the room, but he cut them off. "Don't. I don't want to hear it.
You know I'm right. It's just now that it's sinking in that it has come back to
bite you in the ass. There is no point in trying to reach above your station,
but settling for something easy with all of your personal requirements in life was
foolish and worse, detrimental. I for
one am tired of it. You can't have it both ways, not unless you were born into money.
You and I, we weren't. We had started to build something before it fell apart." His fist came down on the old
dining table, leaving a wide crack in its shattering wake. "I can overlook a lot, but there
is always going to be a final straw. When I've given all I can give, that's it.
I'm done." ...Stay away from her my friend, stay away from her. There was a
time when she could really love you, when she was thinking only of you, but now
she's thrown herself above you and there's nothing you can do... He was walking around the room, kicking the bits and pieces of the
chair out of his way. The mare in the one remaining seat was watching him with
fearful eyes. She had seen him angry before, but this had a different tone to
it. There had been anger for things a person didn't like and wanted to change,
but this was a hollow anger. There was nothing behind it but simple depression.
She would have said something but there were things standing in the way of her
voicing her opinion. He
made it back to the table, which was bent in the middle now and held in place by a
few twisted pieces of metal. "I
know I should have said something all along, and many times I'd like to think that
I did. There are only so many times you can get shot down before you don't bother
getting back up. It's far safer to stay down and out of the line of fire. I don't
know how many ideas I gave you that you thought were worthless, but there were
enough. And so here we are, down the road you chose. And it didn't turn out
like you figured did it? All this because you felt the need to do things your
way. " "Well,
now it's my turn. This time you don't have a choice. As of right now, I have
the final word, don't I?" She
would have spoken except the gag was pretty effective for keeping her quiet. He
had seen to that right off the bat. He had enough of her excuses. For once she
was going to listen to him. She
nodded. "So
the question is, what do I do now? I have no idea really. There comes a tipping
point when you can't go back. You drag things out as long as you can, and then
what do you have left? Nothing. When you give it all, you exhaust what you have
in reserve. I'm running on fumes baby. I have been for a while, and now I'm just
plum tuckered out." He
pulled out one of his guns. "You remember Gertie, don't ya? She used to belong
to a friend of mine, but then you know that already. You know I should have
gone down that day. I miss those guys terribly. But hey, that's life, right?
There is always a measure of sadness to go with the joy. But I seem to be
missing out on the joy right now. How do you suppose I can fix that?" He
placed the gun against her head. "I could pull the trigger you know."
He withdrew the weapon. "But I won't." He stood up. "You
see, if I did that, it would be one more thing I'd have to live with. I might
be able to, but I'm not filled with that much kindness. In my heart, I find I
have little sympathy anymore, except for those who truly deserve it. I don't think
you do. But then, you don't deserve an early death either. So I am left stuck debating as to what to do." He
stared at her, watching the tears running down her face. He felt a little
stirring, but wasn't about to succumb to the same old situation. "Look. I know that somewhere inside there is
a good person, but I think she's gotten lost in all the trappings. But I can't help
you decide who you really are anymore. I have a tough enough time with myself,
much less figuring out other people. So consider this to be a wakeup call. From
this day forward you will live your life as you see fit. I will not be there to
say a word. What happens, happens. I'll no longer feel responsible for you. I'll
finally be free." He
kissed her forehead before withdrawing to the bathroom. This place was a sad
wreck, he thought, and so a little more discoloration would hardly matter in the grand scheme of things. ...a brave man once requested me, to answer questions that are
key, is it to be or not to be, and I replied; why ask me? Cause suicide is
painless, it brings on many changes, and I can take it or leave it if I please...and
you can do the same thing if you please...