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Bartleby And The Infernal Menagerie

by Alex Reynard

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I had the hardest damn time naming this one. The basic idea came to me almost instantly after finishing up "Bartleby's Descent", but I just couldn't decide on a good, snappy name for it that wouldn't sound clichŽd. I very nearly gave up and just called this "Bartleby And Friends Go To The Zoo". But then I would have hated myself for the rest of my life.

Standard disclaimers apply: don't freakin' read this if you're a complete pussy. It contains yiff and an unbelievable plethora of bizarre fetishes. Some of this stuff will almost certainly gross you out, but hey, with this one I was basically trying to come up with as many outrageously silly ideas as possible. Wheee.

And so now we join our fuzzy grey hero, waking up to just another sunshine-filled day in Hell...

* * * * *

~~~Chapter One~~~

His previous alarm clock, which seemed to display only incomprehensible archaic symbols, had long since gone into the wastebasket. But Bartleby didn't mind. He had a new one now, and it was much better. And a world of improvement over his old annoying, beeping one from when he was alive, too.

Terry the fox plushie gently nudged his owner with his round black nose. "Bartleby? Wake up," he softly coaxed. "Come on, wake up."

The young bat rolled over partially and snorted. It was a good thing he wasn't on his perch this morning. He was completely out of it, and probably would have wound up with a bandaged head from another crash landing.

The little stuffed fox was insistent. "Get up! Come on! You told me to wake you up at ten! It's ten-ish now! Wake up!" He shoved hard on Bartleby's shoulder with his soft paws.

No response from the sleeping dead.

Terry put his paws on his hips in mild frustration. He was a toonish plushie, resembling some studio cartoon character with his comically oversized feet and big, expressive eyes. Bartleby's mom had found Terry at a flea market when Bartleby was just four. The tiny grey bat had stretched out his wings and called out for the small, brick-red fox, and had not shut up until Mama had purchased it for him. Since then the pair had been inseparable. Consequently, Terry had endured much loving abuse over the years. His fur became a much lighter red from many, many washings. Tiny thread-scars were sometimes visible through his matted fur.

Now, however, he was a new fox. After Bartleby had died a week and a half ago, whatever force it was that gave souls everything they wished for in the Naughty level of Hell had split off a small piece of Bartleby's soul energy and used it to weave and bind the boy's memories of his favorite stuffed animal into a real, semi-live little playmate. Terry's fur was as immaculate and fluffy as when he'd been brand new. His plastic eyes were no longer scuffed. And he wasn't forever stuck in a sitting position either.

Terry was, of course, grateful to Bartleby for bringing him to life. But at the moment he was mostly annoyed at the boy's continued somnolence. Having had enough, he simply climbed up onto the lad's pillow and began to jump up and down on the young bat's head.

This finally did the trick. Bartleby came flailing out of sleep and accidentally knocked Terry halfway across the bed. "Waaaaaah!" they both cried.

Bartleby blinked and yawned. He noticed his plushie friend lying in a heap at his feet. "Oh! Gosh I'm sorry, Terry!" he cried out, and quickly scooped the little fox up to give him a hug.

Terry melted in the boy's embrace. For a plushie, there is no greater joy than receiving affection from their owner. "It's okay," he murred happily.

Bartleby didn't have to ask if it was close to ten o clock. He knew that whatever force had given Terry life had also endowed him with certain innate knowledge of how Hell worked. Terry was there to answer any small questions Bartleby still had about his new home. Questions he might not feel comfortable asking his friends, or small things too trivial to summon up Razielphustar over. As an added side effect, Terry had realized that, for whatever reason, he also kept perfect time.

(It was actually somewhat of a moot point though. Time was bendable in the abyss. If you were running late for something and stepped into a portal, it would take you not only where you wanted to go, but *when* you wanted to be there too. It was actually rather difficult to be late for anything in Hell. Bartleby knew this, but he still preferred to try his best to be on time for things. He was a bat that not only felt pride at being punctual, but in keeping promises he'd made.)

The boy gave a stretch and sat up. It was then that they both noticed a small tent in the blanket. Bartleby blushed a little.

Terry's tail wagged. "Can I help you with that?" he asked foxily.

Bartleby's eyebrows went up. He was a little surprised Terry would want to be yiffy with him, but it wasn't all that shocking. And he didn't actually mind either, when he really thought about it. They had slept together and cuddled and hugged for years. And 'yiff' was a term coined from the mating sounds of yiffy foxes anyway. Also, since this was the first time he'd woken up with a boner in a while, the opportunity hadn't really presented itself until now.

"Um, okay. Go ahead," the young bat said quietly.

The little plushie flashed his boy a smile. He wriggled out of the bat's wings and hopped down to his lap. He slowly, savoringly, pulled down the blankets, the bedsheets, and then Bartleby's pajama bottom. He let out a small arf of awe at Bartleby's young cock. At full height, it was just about four inches. But to a foot tall fox, that's a lot!

Terry sniffed the beautiful pink boy penis. "Mmmm! Smells good!"

Bartleby chuckled. "Thanks!"

The fox nuzzled it with his smooth nose fabric. "I like it!" Grateful for once that his head was so disproportional to his body, the lusty little plushie opened his mouth wide and began to suckle his owner's cock.

Bartleby took in a sharp breath. "Oh!" That felt great! Terry's soft cloth mouth was lined inside with something silky, and his coarse little felt tongue was already eagerly tasting the bat's shaft. The slurp, slurp, slurp of that tiny tongue was sexy and tickly and delightful all at once! "Oh, thank you, Terry!"

"You're welcome!" Terry replied brightly. He licked at his boy's bits all over. He absolutely loved the taste! Of all the sensations he'd experienced since coming to life, this was easily one of the very best!

Tiny nubby cloth teeth nibbled at his head and shaft. Bartleby's little bat toes curled up. He wriggled on his sheets, eyes closed, letting out soft little moans. What a fantastic way to wake up!

To Terry's delight, Bartleby's cock fit all the way down his throat. He could feel it nestled deep into his stuffing, nudging at the fabric of his back. He felt exhilarated; his small body was totally filled with the boy he loved!

The feel of that hot, tight fuzziness surrounding his most sensitive bodypart was driving Bartleby nuts. He knew he was gonna cum soon!

Terry nuzzled into the coarse grey fur of Bartleby's sheath, drinking in the warm, happy scent of the boy's fur and sweat. Being a fox, even a plush one, meant that Terry had a superior nose. The scent of his wonderful boy was orgasmic all in itself. It was everything he loved about Bartleby all wrapped up in a single sensation. He took long, deep breaths as he caressed the boy's cock with his mouth and throat.

Bartleby held on for as long as he could, but his morning erections were always super-sensitive, and there was no way he could hold back his explosion any longer. He cried out a soft boy squeak and filled Terry's tummy with cream.

The little plush was in heaven! He could feel that wonderful warm liquid flooding into him, getting his stuffing all sticky! He pulled himself off the young boy's cock just enough so some of it would spray on his tongue and he could taste it. He overestimated a tad, and a goodly amount went all over his muzzle and his nose.

Breathless and laughing with joy, Bartleby snatched Terry up into a tacklehug. He squeezed his sweet little toy with all his love. He nuzzled the little fox with his big, noseleaf and gave him kisses. He even licked some of his cum off Terry's round black nose. "I love you, Terry! Thank you so much!"

"No, thank *you*, Bartleby! That was so much fun! I wanna do that every morning from now on when you wake up!" Terry gushed inbetween licking up the tasty spooge from his muzzle.

Bartleby giggled and hugged his plushie tight. They continued on laughing happily and snuggling until Bartleby finally remembered why he'd asked Terry to wake him up at ten A.M. in the first place. "Oh, geez, I gotta get going!" he exclaimed abruptly.

Terry 'Hmm?'ed inquisitively.

"I'm gonna go meet some friends in a little bit," the little bat explained. "We're all going to the zoo today."

"That sounds fun!" said Terry.

Bartleby thought a bit. "You could come with us if you like. I know there's gonna be real red foxes there. You could meet your cousins."

Terry looked a bit sad. "That does sound nifty, but I should probably stay here. I still don't know if any of your friends would be able to see me as being alive. I might look like just another plushie to them. I'd hate to have you look like a weirdo, holding a conversation with an inanimate object."

The plushie had a point. "Yeah..."

"And you know I can only stay alive if you're close to me," Terry also mentioned. "If we got separated somehow, I don't know what'd happen."

Bartleby's ears drooped. "But I hate leaving you here by yourself all the time! I always worry you'll be lonely."

Terry gave him a reassuring look. "I don't mind. When you leave, I just get real sleepy and I have nice dreams about us until you get back."

The young bat gave his favorite plushie another squeeze. "Okay. I'll miss you though."

"I'll always be here," Terry promised.

On that note, Bartleby resigned himself to leaving his bed. He shuffled off his pajama bottoms (which were all he wore to bed, since wings and pajama tops are not usually on friendly terms) and got up. He stretched again, and wished some clothes onto himself. Not that he was ashamed of being naked in public; lots of people wore just their fur all the time. But Bartleby was used to wearing clothes, so it just felt natural. That, and he'd always thought his grey fur was a bit boring. He didn't *hate* his appearance, he just thought he looked even better with a splash of color added.

Today he chose a sky-blue tank top and baggy bluejean shorts. He went over to his dresser to pick up some money, before remembering that no one used money in Hell. He felt a little silly for that. He'd been here nearly two weeks already and he was still doing things as if he were alive. He chuckled. He'd probably still be doing stuff like this for years.

In lieu of breakfast, he decided he'd just get something to eat when he got where he was going. He gave Terry a wave as he headed for the door. "Bye! See you later!"

Terry arfed and wagged his tail. "Goodbye! Take lots of pictures so I can see all the fun stuff you did!"

Bartleby stopped short. "Hey, that's a good idea. But I don't have a camera..."

Terry frowned.

Then the little plush abruptly perked up. "I've got the perfect solution!" he shouted proudly.

* * *

A few moments later, Bartleby hopped out of the portal directly in front of the Gaarthulom Zoological Park And Gardens. It was a gorgeous sunshiny day. The cobblestones leading up to the park were maroon and warm on his paws. The gates were made of ornate wrought iron, with brass statues of animals perched above each ticket station. The air was filled with happy chatter as dozens of families and children and friends all converged on the entrance, some popping out of portals, some walking over from the parking lot (which Bartleby noticed contained some of the most gorgeous cars he'd ever seen, and not a junker in the bunch).

Bartleby was so impressed with his first view of the zoo, he decided to take a picture of it. With his new camera. His new red, furry camera with two small cloth ears on top.

Terry giggled as his shutter clicked.

He was very proud of the great idea he'd had. Now he could hang around Bartleby's neck all day and see whatever his owner saw. And being a camera was an interesting experience all by itself. Having your insides change from stuffing to metal and plastic is a startling, if fascinating, experience.

Bartleby gave his foxcamera a skritch. "Can you see everything okay, Terry?"

Terry couldn't speak in this form, so he just gave off a small, satisfied whirring sound.

"Good boy!" said Bartleby.

* * * * *

~~~Chapter Two~~~

As Bartleby was waiting for his friends to show up, he noticed a large, important-looking bronze plaque on the high stone wall beside the ticket booths. He went over to read it, and this is what it said:

WELCOME, FIRST TIME VISITORS!

'Well, that's definitely me,' Bartleby thought.

This is a zoo unlike any you have ever encountered before. Here, you

are free to walk right up and say hello to our animals. There are no

bars or glass enclosures. But rest assured, both you and the beasts

will be perfectly safe, so long as you are respectful and gentle, and

you understand the difference between our zoo and those of the

living.

All non-evolved animals have been turned away from Heaven since

time immemorial. Since they cannot worship God, He discards them

as unworthy, hypocritical as that may be. But when they arrive here,

they are given a very special gift to make up for such cruel

treatment. They undergo a fundamental change.

Bartleby 'hmm'ed in fascination. He had wondered what happened to nonevs after they died.

Nonevs in the wild are ruled by instinct. Instinct tells them when to

run, when to hide, when to eat, and when to attack. It is extremely

difficult for them to do anything contrary to those instincts. But

when they die and their souls pass between the realms, their minds

are changed. The fog of instinct is lifted, clearing the way for

thought and emotion to take their proper place. The gift of

communication is given to them also. Predators and prey may now

understand one another as freely as you and your family and friends converse. Mortal conflicts may now be avoided, and friendships may

blossom in their place.

"Wow, that's really cool!" the little bat muttered out loud. He smiled, imagining foxes and rabbits, mice and snakes, all curled up together peacefully in a cozy den.

You will be able to understand them as well. Not though any spoken

language, but their meanings and intents will come through clearly

nonetheless. All of our animals are friendly and like to play. They

will be mindful of your limits if you will be mindful of theirs.

So say hello, make new friends, expect surprises, and have fun!

Zoo Director

Deutorious Manthothlophes

Bartleby had just finished reading, and was thinking about how incredibly cool this all sounded, when a loud horn honk startled him, followed by a cry of "Yo! Batman!"

The boy swiveled around to see Xander's family pulling up beside the gates in possibly the snazziest car he'd ever seen. It was a glistening candy apple red, with milk-white highlights and near-blinding chrome trim. The whole car had a serpentine shape, like that of a giant snake's head, with wide almond-shaped eyes for headlights. The engine purred like a tiger. The convertible top was down, letting out some happy surf music into the air. Altogether, the gorgeous car looked so brand new, Bartleby half-expected to see a price tag hanging off of it somewhere.

Xander leaped out over the side and came barreling up to Bartleby in a friendly fox-pounce. The two boys laughed and hugged. "Right on time!" said the plump little vulpine. Today he was wearing just a white T-shirt with the logo of some tropical resort on it. No pants or footwear. His soft sheath and plump fox nuts swung freely in the breeze.

Bartleby felt them brush against his shorts and cooed excitedly. He gave his friend a cheek nuzzle. "I thought only cartoon characters could get away with not wearing pants," he kidded.

Xander smirked craftily. "You know, you're right!" He reached down and grabbed his boybits in his paw. With a swift yank, he plucked them off as if they'd been attached by nothing more than velcro. His crotch was now just smooth white fur. Xander giggled at the feel of his genitals in his paw, then reached over and tucked them into Bartleby's shorts pocket; "For safekeeping."

Both boys laughed uproariously. Ever since Bartleby's first day, when he'd had his sausage 'n eggs cut off three times in twenty four hours, it had become a running gag between the two boys to pop off their malenesses whenever a silly enough opportunity presented itself. A few times they'd even switched, which had led to some amazing and intense yiffy experimentation.

Bartleby's sharp ears caught another familiar voice. He spotted a pretty young hyena stepping out of the car and giving Mr. and Mrs. Oakley thank-you hugs after exiting. "Lexi!" he called out happily.

"Hi Bartleby!" she shouted back with her usual exuberance. The cutely spotty hyenafemme was always sunny and energetic, and today her outfit matched her mood perfectly: a day-glo yellow tanktop and a lemon yellow skirt (with nothing underneath, as Bartleby noticed when she ran over to greet him.) She flung herself at Bartleby and gave him a bone-crunching hug. "This was such a great idea! Thanks for inviting me!"

Xander 'a-hem'ed.

"And thank you for offering me a ride," she added, and leaned over to give her fox friend a kiss on the cheek.

Lexi's slim little femboner was already making her skirt poke out a little. It was a perfectly normal part of female hyena anatomy, but Bartleby still found it fascinating. Especially since Lexi had let him play with it before, and had even yiffed him up the butt with it! Twice!

She noticed where his eye was wandering and smiled coyly. She loved knowing that Bartleby wasn't unnerved by it, as were most of the other boys at school.

"So, is that a banana in your panties or are you just happy to see me?" Bartleby asked suavely. He'd been saving up that line for three days now.

The effect was all he'd hoped for. Lexi nearly fell over backwards laughing. "What's that in *your* pocket then?" she managed to ask.

"Xander's dick," he replied blithely.

"That's right!" the little fox agreed, displaying his new smoothness.

Lexi grinned. "Neat! Can I borrow it later?"

"Sure!" both boys said simultaneously.

"Hey, Bartleby!" another voice called out. The bat looked up, and saw Xander's parents were waving the trio over.

Mrs. Oakley leaned over the passenger side door and gave the little bat a big hug and a kiss. "How you doin', little guy?"

"I'm fine. You look really pretty today," Bartleby said politely.

"Why thank you!" The gorgeous brunette vixen gave him an extra kiss for his compliment.

Mr. Oakley reached over to skritch between Bartleby's ears. "Hi there, squirt! Haven't seen you in a while."

"Sorry, I've been busy," Bartleby said. "Mostly getting settled in and used to everything."

He nodded. "Hell can cause quite a culture shock at first," he agreed.

"Feel free to drop by anytime you like though," Mrs. Oakley added. "My aunt just emailed me a recipe for southwestern peppered bat stew, and I can't wait to try it!"

Bartleby licked his lips. That did sound tasty! And Mrs. Oakley was a fantastic chef. His second day in Hell, he'd gone over to Xander's house for dinner and had been their main course that night. He'd decided to sleep over, and in the morning, Mrs. Oakley just couldn't resist making some savory breakfast sausage out of him as well.

"Thanks again for driving me," Lexi told the Oakleys.

"You're welcome, sweetiepie," Mrs. Oakley said. "And you know you're always welcome in my kitchen too."

The little hyena giggled. She'd been in so many of the foxes' recipes, she'd lost count!

"Do you want us to come pick you up later, or will you just hop a portal?" Mr. Oakley asked his son.

Xander thought about it. "I dunno. It was Bartleby's idea." He turned to the young bat in question. "What did you have in mind?"

Bartleby nibbled his thumbclaw. "I guess we'll take a portal," he decided. "You shouldn't have to wait around for us," he said to the Oakleys.

"That's very considerate of you," Mr. Oakley told him. Mrs. Oakley ran her paw through his hair affectionately.

"When do you think you'll be ready to come home?" she asked Xander.

"Well, it's Bartleby's first time, and there's a lot of stuff to look at, so we'll probably be here most of the day."

"I can't wait to get swallowed by some big friendly animals!" Lexi squealed excitedly, mostly to herself.

With everything settled, the grownups and the cubs all exchanged plenty of goodbye hugs and kisses. The little ones all waved as Mr. Oakley gunned the engine of his magnificent machine and they tore out of the park in a squeal of tires and a puff of exhaust.

"That is a _nice_ car," Bartleby said, awestruck, to Xander.

The foxboy grinned. "Mom's birthday present to Dad last year. He just about shit his shorts the first time he saw it in the driveway."

"Why haven't I seen it before?" Bartleby asked. A fair question, since he'd been over to Xander's house three times already.

Xander blinked, and realized he'd simply forgot to show it off until now. "We usually keep it in the garage, since we go by portal most places. But with me gone, Mom 'n Dad are going off to some grownup thing, like a spa or something. I'm not 100% on the details, but they giggled a lot when they were talking about it. They thought it'd be fun to drive up there."

Bartleby nodded. "I bet it eats up a lot of gas." He remembered hearing on the news how sporty little horsepower-hogs like that were a pain in the butt to keep running.

Xander looked at him like he was loopy. "There's no gas stations in the Naughty level! Who'd want to bother with 'em?"

Bartleby considered that. "Yeah, that makes sense."

Lexi rolled her eyes. "Boys are always talking about cars or sex!" she said like an exasperated soap opera character. "Or football," she added.

The boys chuckled. Xander gave the bulge in Lexi's skirt a little squeeze. "Well, you're almost a boy."

"Am not!" Lexi replied with a grin, not minding Xander's paw being there one bit.

Bartleby felt the little lump in his pocket getting bigger.

The lively little hyena playfully swatted her friend's paw away. "Let's go get tickets," she said impatiently.

"Um, shouldn't we wait?" Bartleby said.

"Oh yeah!" Lexi remembered. "That mystery friend you wanted us to meet. Where is she?"

The bat shrugged. "I told her to get here at ten. I guess she's running a little..." He trailed off, and his ear cocked to the side, noticing a rumbling sound approaching. He grinned at such a nice little example of synchronicity. "Never mind! Here she comes!"

A few moments later, Lexi and Xander were both surprised to see a huge green garbage truck pull into the zoo lot and stop right in front of them. A cheerful redheaded mink in a snappy green uniform and baseball cap hopped out. "Hiya, Bartleby!" she ran up and gave her young bat friend a big squishy hug.

The pretty mink was a bit stinky, but Bartleby didn't mind a bit. He had quickly gotten used to the smell of trash, and was actually beginning to enjoy it. "Hi, Mrs. Mackenzie!"

"Hi to you too, sugar!" She extended her paw to the fox and hyena. "And hi to y'all as well!"

Still a bit startled, Xander and Lexi shook the garbagewoman's leather-gloved hand. "She's older than I expected," Xander said tactlessly.

Bartleby chortled. "Not her!"

"Naw, I'm just a chauffeur," Mrs. Mackenzie corrected, not minding the foxboy's innocent insult a bit. She went over to the back of her truck and pulled the black lever. The truck's huge jaws opened, letting out a cloud of trash stench.

Xander and Lexi covered their noses.

The limber mink reached way back into the collection bin and rooted around for a few seconds. Finally, she found the bag she was looking for. "Aha!" She lifted out an oversize black plastic bag and plopped it down on the cobblestones. "Presenting the guest of honor!"

Xander and Lexi stared in shock as a rather dizzy young calico kitten clawed her way out of the bag and got to her feet. "Ta da!"

Bartleby noticed their expressions and grinned. It was fun to be able to surprise *them* once in a while!

The girl in the garbage bag was wearing a bright green vinyl dress and wide wire-rim glasses. She turned to Mrs. Mackenzie and gave her a huge, loving hug. "Thanks so much for the ride!"

"You're welcome, honeypie," the mink said, running her paw across her young friend's pretty fur. "You know I love bagging you up 'n giving you rides." They both giggled.

"Hi Gillian!" Bartleby called out.

Her ears perked up and she instantly bounced over to give him a hug too. He noticed right away she reeked of garbage, but that was just fine by him. They'd gotten to be good friends over the last few days, and Bartleby had spent more than a little time in her magic dumpster, and at the wonderful, carnivalesque landfill they'd had fun at the day he'd arrived. The smell of trash was quickly becoming associated in his mind with a lot of happy memories.

"Gotta go, hon," Mrs. Mackenzie called out as she jumped up into the garbage truck's cab once more. "There's a flea market on today, and I gotta hit it before all the good stuff's gone!"

"Okay, bye!" Gillian called out.

"Bye!" Bartleby waved too as the big green truck turned around and drove off, growling and snorting all the way.

The young bat turned back to his two canine friends. "Gillian, this is Xander and Lexi; my friends from school," he introduced.

"Hi!" she said cheerily, and held out her paw.

A little reluctance was understandable on their part. The fox and hyena tentatively shook paws with the slightly-older girl, and muttered weak 'hello's.

Bartleby sensed this meeting was not off to a great start. "So, um, I thought you were just gonna come by portal?" he asked Gillian.

"Well, I knew Mrs. Mackenzie was coming this way anyway, so I thought it'd be fun to make a big entrance." She smiled shyly at Xander and Lexi. "He did already tell you I like trash, right?"

They nodded. "It's a little weird, but I guess I don't mind," Lexi said. She believed it was important to be accepting of other fursons whose proclivities were different from her own. The young hyena's last statement struck her oddly, letting her see it from a different angle. "Yeah, actually... I like to play with poop, so who am I to say what's weird?" she added thoughtfully.

Xander thought she had a point. "And my dick's in Bartleby's pocket, so I guess I'm weird too."

Gillian smiled with relief. It was usually so hard for her to make friends. Garbage was, admittedly, a largely unknown fringe fetish (though she preferred to call it an interest), but it was one that gave her joy. It was a large part of who she was, and she didn't want to have to hide it about herself. Especially not here in Hell, of all places, where tolerance of the strange was considered a fundamental part of life.

"I'm glad to see you're being open-minded," she said softly, tail swaying behind her a bit. "I promise I won't make fun of any weird stuff you like," her subtle added message being, 'and I hope you'll do the same for me as well.'

Xander nodded. Message received and understood. He held his breath for a bit and came forward to give Gillian a hug. She was so amazed by this sudden gesture of acceptance, she hugged back twice as enthusiastically. Xander had to take a breath, and was surprised to realize she really didn't stink too bad after all.

Lexi joined the hug as well, giving Gillian a nuzzle on the cheek. "If Bartleby says you're cool, then you're cool."

Bartleby added himself to the little cluster of affection, and all of them murred and chuckled.

"Thanks guys," Gillian said softly, honestly touched by the warm reception. Then she noticed what was hanging around Bartleby's neck. "Oh, wow! What a cute camera!"

Bartleby chuckled and held Terry up. "He's actually one of my stuffed animals. I turned him into a camera so he could come with us."

"What a cool idea!" Lexi burst out. "I should turn Michelle into a purse so I can take her with me too!"

"Michelle's a purple unicorn," Xander clarified.

"Hey, we're all here now, why not get a group picture?" Bartleby suggested.

The others nodded agreeably. Bartleby set Terry down on a concrete guardpost and stepped back several feet. He put his arms around Xander and Gillian's shoulders, and Lexi snuggled up to Xander and gave him bunny-ears.

The little foxcamera gave his right ear a wiggle when the shot was just right.

"Say cheese!" said Bartleby.

"CHEESE!"

*click*

* * * * *

~~~Chapter Three~~~

The ticket booth wasn't what Bartleby had expected (but then again, neither had anything else in Hell been so far). Xander had explained that in the Naughty level, no one used money, so payments were made either by trade, by favors, or by giving up part of one's body. To get a ticket into the zoo, everyone had to stick some part of themselves into a little rubber-lined hole in the side of the booth, where it would be swiftly and painlessly chopped off. Xander grew back his cock just long enough to lose it again. Gillian donated her tail. Lexi slipped her mock-penis through the slot and had a mini orgasm when it was sliced off.

Bartleby was about to give up his boybits too, when the lady in the booth noticed his noseleaf. The proudly rotund brown otter said it was adorable, and asked if she could have it. Bartleby was only too happy to oblige. He stuck his nose through the hole, and a second later, felt a tiny tickly swoosh of motion as the sharp blade cut it off. The otter lady thanked him, gave him a ticket, and said she'd save his noseleaf for later and make a sandwich out of it. That struck Bartleby as flat-out hilarious. He tried to mentally picture his nose lying on a slice of bread and having mayonnaise spread all over it.

Once inside the gates, Bartleby shut his eyes and concentrated, and felt a pleasant *pop* as he wished a new nose into existence. Gillian was similarly trying out her new tail, and Lexi decided to just go without her femboner until she needed it again. Mostly so her skirt wouldn't tent up so much.

The little bat then took his first look at one of the most beautiful zoos in all of Hell. He gasped in delight and was left speechless. The cobblestones continued past the gates, branching off into a half dozen paths, all leading to different places in the zoo. Wrought iron and ornamental animal sculptures were also part of the overall motif, along with lots and lots of gorgeous flowers and trees. To the right was a giftshop that seemed about to burst with all sorts of fun treasures. To the left was a miniature train that furs could ride to the other side of the zoo. It looked just like an old-timey steam engine. Bartleby knew he wanted to ride on it the second he spotted it.

The ticket lady had given Xander four zoo maps, and he passed them out to everyone. He unfolded his and started scrutinizing it. "So, where to first, Bartleby? Your call."

The little bat had no idea of where to start. "Gosh, I dunno." He peeked over Xander's shoulder at the map, the girls huddling in as well. The map was vast and brightly colored, with little symbols everywhere, denoting which animals could be found where, where to eat and pick up souvenirs, and where to take a leak. Bartleby didn't even have any idea where he was on the map, much less what he wanted to see first.

"You ever been here before?" Lexi asked Gillian.

The calico nodded. "Uh huh. A few times, but it's been a while. I remember seeing the penguins last time. Those guys are really tasty!" she said with a lick of her lips.

Bartleby was not too shocked, as he knew nonevs from the zoo were free to escape and run around in town eatin' people, so it was only fair that fursons should return the favor. And Xander had mentioned the day before that a lot of the smaller animals totally loved being eaten, and would actually come right up to you and nudge pleadingly at your lips.

That gave the young bat an idea. "Well, I skipped breakfast, so I'm pretty hungry. Where's the closest food place?"

Xander tapped a burger symbol on the map. "Right here. Actually, it's right there." He pointed up over the map to a small eatery not a hundred feet away from them.

Bartleby made an idiot face. "Duh! Duh!"

The others giggled. They all headed towards the restaurant and Xander trailed behind, trying to get the map folded up again. "Hey, I got an idea. Since I'm up here, like, every other week, why don't I just plan out the route?" he asked Bartleby, and also looked to see if the girls would concur.

Bartleby thought that made sense. "Sounds good. I'd just get us lost."

Lexi nodded to Xander. "You know all the stuff I like seeing."

"I wanna see the penguins and the giraffes. And the elephants!" Gillian added.

"Me too!" said Lexi. "They're so big and cool! I like how they smell."

Xander made a mental note to be sure to include penguins, giraffes, and elephants (oh my) in the day's itinerary. He also noticed there was a bat house somewhere near the barnyard, so Bartleby'd probably want to go by there, just as he liked hanging out with the nonev foxes and Lexi was wild about her hyena cousins. He guessed that there was just some kinda genetic or spiritual link that furries had to their ancestral forms. And spending time with them also made one appreciate being bipedal, being able to talk, and being able to play video games with their opposable thumbs.

The restaurant they were heading to was set up to look like a jungle outpost. Everything was made of wood, painted in bold oranges and greens. Lots of other furs were milling about. Plenty of little birds and rodents were also in attendance, since the place was a goldmine for leftovers. Terry had said he was pretty sure he had an unlimited number of exposures, so Bartleby had decided to take pictures of everything he saw. He hung back and composed a nice shot of the place, with his three friends' heads in the foreground.

As they came under the shade of the restaurant's wide, circular awning, they passed an extremely overflowing trashcan. Xander grinned. "Look, Gillian! The most exciting thing you'll see all day!"

She turned and saw what he was pointing to, then fixed him with a sharp, angry glare.

Lexi and Bartleby went silent in an 'uh oh...' kind of way.

The pudgy fox looked flatly shocked. "Just joking! I wasn't making fun of you, honest!"

Gillian realized he was completely sincere, and felt like a total moron. "Geeze, I'm sorry!" She came over and gave him a quick hug. "I guess I'm just oversensitive."

Xander nodded. "No, I'm sorry. I shoulda guessed you would be." He stopped, and backed up. "Sensitive, I mean, not oversensitive," he quickly clarified.

She giggled and gave his tail a yank. "Do your feet get teethmarks from being in your mouth all the time?" she quipped.

Xander snerked. "Good one!"

The bat and hyena breathed a sigh of relief. Crisis averted!

Once that was out of the way, Bartleby looked up at the menu. It seemed to be the usual assortment of mouthwatering junk that zoos and carnivals and amusement parks always sold. Hot dogs, fries, nachos, ice cream, cotton candy, etc.. He loved all of it, he just hated the prices. Asking his mom for ten bucks for a chili dog and a milkshake made him feel like a heel.

But then Bartleby did a double take. He noticed all the prices. He literally could not believe his eyes, and had to look again:

HOT DOG 1 cent

CHILI DOG 1 cent

CHILI CHEESE DOG 1 cent

Almost everything on the menu was just a penny! It was inconceivable! The most expensive thing they were selling was a combo meal for two cents! Bartleby's jaw dropped open. Every day he'd encountered some new, wonderful thing about the Naughty level, some deviously funny twist on Earth life to turn it upside-down into paradise. This had to be in his personal top ten.

And, when he reached into his pants, he suddenly found he was carrying a whole pocketful of change.

He turned to his friends. "My treat, everyone!"

* * *

Since another aspect of Hell was that you could eat all you wanted and never gain weight, Bartleby ordered a chili dog, cheese fries, a large frozen cherry cola, a giant pickle, a chocolate chip cookie the size of a cup coaster, and an enormous novelty lollipop he'd probably be crunching on all day.

The four little ones all placed their orders with the grinning puma at the register, and almost as soon as they'd finished speaking, their food was ready. The kitchen was completely automated. Bizarre, science-fictiony machines whizzed and whirred about behind the mesh windows, making meals at lightning speed.

Since wings are not exactly designed for carrying trays, Xander graciously got the food for everyone, and they all helped clear a path through the crowd for him as they hunted for a place to chow down.

Soon enough, they came upon a comfortable carved wooden picnic table in the shade and they all sat down to enjoy their meals. Everyone else had also gotten nearly as much food as Bartleby. Xander started cramming nachos in his mouth like they were in danger of escaping.

Bartleby noticed that Lexi bowed her head and said a short prayer before tucking in, and it surprised him. It seemed strange to belong to a religion when one had already been damned to Hell. Then again, Lexi could have been praying to anyone, even Lucifer himself, other than God. (although, having met him, Bartleby didn't think the devil would be the type of guy who'd really care much if people worshipped him) The bat's curiosity was piqued. Filing the question away in his mind, he decided to ask Lexi later on what kind of beliefs she held when they had a quiet moment together.

At that point, Bartleby set in to enjoy one of the most gleefully unhealthy breakfasts he'd ever had. His chili dog had a good bite to it, and the frozen cherry cola was mixed perfectly. As the four cubs ate, they chatted, and the topic somehow got around to the weirdest breakfasts they'd ever eaten.

Gillian said that on her birthday every year, her parents had always let her eat her cake and ice cream in the morning. This worked out nicely, since they always went out to a fun restaurant for dinner later and were too stuffed for dessert afterwards.

Xander said the first time his Mom had dared to try using her family in her recipes, he'd ended up having himself for dinner, breakfast and lunch for a few days. It was a bizarre sensation, and it took a while to get used to.

While she admitted it only counted as breakfast because she'd skipped her usual cereal and juice that day, Lexi said that one time she'd been biking to school and a junebug had flown in her mouth and she'd swallowed it before she had time to realize what it was.

Bartleby knew he couldn't possibly top that in grossness, so he went for pity instead. He said that growing up, his family had been kinda poor, and one time when he was little they hadn't been able to get groceries for a few days for whatever reason, so they ended up making salads out of stolen condiment packages from fast food places that were laying around. Bartleby said that the combination of croutons, bacon bits and ranch dressing is not very filling, but isn't too bad either.

After a while, Bartleby's tummy was nicely taut. He felt full, but not overstuffed. He'd given up on his giant lollipop after a few licks (much too sweet) and had given it to a nonev crow who looked like he'd won the lottery as he pranced off with the huge thing in his beak. Xander belched loud enough to scare a passing flock of pigeons, and everyone cracked up. Not surprisingly, Gillian offered to clean up everyone's trash and toss it out.

Bartleby excused himself, saying he needed to take a leak. Lexi did too, so she followed him to the restrooms. He refrained from kiddingly asking which one she used, but she caught the twinkle in his eye nonetheless.

"Sometimes other girls see me standing up and think I'm a cross-dressing pervert," she tossed off merrily, and skipped into the ladies' room.

Laughing heartily, Bartleby pushed open the oak door to the men's room and his eyes got really big at what he saw in there. It wasn't that two foxes were yiffing quite flagrantly in one of the stalls (that, he was PLENTY used to by now), but that one of the urinals had a furson's head attached to it.

As he came closer, he saw that the farthest urinal from the door seemed to be half porcelain fixture, half skunk! It was covered in black and white fur on the outside, with pink flesh on the inside, like a giant mouth. Perched above the top rim was a male skunk's head, and there was even a chrome flusher sticking out of his right ear!

"Oh, hello!" the skunk said crisply when he noticed Bartleby.

"Uhhhhh... Hi," the startled little bat said slowly. He'd thought the skunk features were just decoration!

The skunk chuckled at his astonished expression. "New, huh?"

"I've been here almost two weeks," Bartleby said, a little defensively.

The skunk smiled understandingly. "I'm Craig. Don't worry, I'm not being punished for anything. I just like pee. I totally love having strangers come up and pee in me. It makes me feel so useful," he said with a contented little smile.

Bartleby shrugged; he'd seen weirder. "I'm Bartleby. Pleased to meet you." He stopped himself just in time from offering a handshake, as Craig didn't have any at the moment.

The skunkinal nodded politely. "Likewise. You don't have to use me if you're too creeped out. Plenty of other urinals." He cocked his head towards the stalls. "Though I'd suggest waiting till those two are done if you have to do number two. They might knock a wall down on top of you."

At that moment, one of the foxes howled, "Yes, yes, you incredible fucker! AGAIN!!"

Bartleby bit his lip to keep from laughing. One thing was certain about the Naughty level; surreality reigned supreme.

Craig seemed like a nice enough guy, so why not make him happy? Bartleby unzipped his shorts and pulled out his wiener.

"Sweet!" Craig exclaimed.

Bartleby noticed that, at the bottom of the fleshy interior of the urinal, the skunk's cock throbbed in anticipation.

So, Bartleby peed on it.

"Oh _HELL_ yeah!" Craig shouted in ecstacy as a rain of warm boy pee got his cock all nice 'n wet.

"Keep it down out there!" one of the foxes shouted kiddingly, and the other one giggled and did something naughty to him.

Craig's eyes were wide in excitement as he watched the cute bat boy drench his schwanz. He murred and wriggled as much as he could, considering he was bolted to the wall.

Bartleby finished up and gave his dick a few shakes. "There ya go."

Craig flushed himself happily. He leaned over as far as he could and kissed one of Bartleby's ears. "Thanks, little guy. That was great! Come back later when your bladder's full again!"

"I'll try to remember," Bartleby said. He gave the odd but friendly skunk a wave as he walked over to the sink and washed his winghands.

As he exited the restrooms, Bartleby noticed right away that Gillian was gleefully jumping up and down in one of the trash cans, and Lexi was egging her on.

"She said she wanted to make sure it was packed down nice and tight," Xander explained helpfully.

* * * * *

~~~Chapter Four~~~

"Since it's just right across from us anyway, we might as well check out the gardens first," Xander said as he pointed across the way to a large circular building with a glass dome atop its ivy-covered brick walls.

"I'm guessing we're not just talking chrysanthemums, right?" Bartleby speculated.

Lexi nodded. "Mm-hmm. There's all sorts weird plants. Some are carnivorous," she said with ominous relish.

Bartleby thought seeing a bunch of bizarre killer flowers would make a nice starting point for their journey. "Cool. Let's go."

Lexi and Xander helped Gillian hop down from the trash can. She had sticky garbage stuck all over her from the waist down. She giggled as she brushed it off. "That was fun!" she said with a blushing grin.

"I don't understand it, but whatever makes you happy," said Xander.

"There's a guy in the bathroom who's a urinal," Bartleby noted.

No one showed much of a reaction. "You see that everywhere," said Lexi. "There's a ton of toilet-furs at the mall."

Not able to think of anything clever to add to that, Bartleby just nodded and followed along to the gardens.

* * *

Bartleby couldn't resist snapping a few pics of the building even before he'd gotten inside. It looked like some old college conservatory where the plants had rioted and taken over. The ancient brick walls were _literally_ crawling with vines, some of them unlike any species Bartleby had ever seen before. The entrance doors were impressive too; two gigantic ten-foot glass monstrosities that would have looked right at home on some ancient cathedral.

A kind zoo volunteer in a red shirt opened the door for the foursome, and they found themselves instantly swept into a sweltering greenhouse environment. It was like someone had flicked a switch and turned the temperature up a dozen degrees or so. Gillian turned her vinyl dress into a light green blouse instead.

When they emerged from a short, winding hallway into the greenhouse proper, Bartleby got yet another shock. This place was chaos! At some point, there must have been actual architecture in here, but now everything was completely covered in plant life. The vegetables had run amok. Everywhere, there were immense, gorgeous flowers of every color the eye could perceive. Tall tropical trees stretched all the way to the ceiling. Fruit-bearing flora were abundant, and many fursons were enjoying tasty natural treats. Naughty tendrils snaked about, searching for prey to capture and tickle. And some of them were doing a lot more than ticking! Bartleby noticed several fursons who'd been completely ensnared by lusty vines and were currently having the living shit yiffed out of them.

There were also, as Lexi had mentioned, lots of hungry maneating flora. Bartleby saw rows of pitcher plants the size of telephone booths, with smiling furs leisurely digesting inside each one of them. Over in one corner was a veritable forest of venus fly traps; one of them was so big it looked like it could've easily swallowed a camel. There were still other, even more exotic species. Some had long, sticky tongues like frogs. Some had pinching claws. Some had baited traps. Almost all of them were busy snacking on various happy, willing prey furs.

Xander, Lexi and Gillian all ran off to their favorite plants, leaving Bartleby to decide what he wanted to explore first. He nibbled his thumbclaw. So many choices!

As if it had read his mind and wanted to help him decide, a butterfly suddenly flitted right past Bartleby's cheek.

His attention was drawn to the pretty insect immediately. Having descended from insectivorous bats, he had a small but sometimes very insistent instinctual need to chase bugs. When he was little, he and Chuck would go bug hunting together for hours. And butterflies were always fun to chase. They didn't taste good at all, so the bat brothers had always let them go after they'd swooped in and caught the little guys.

With a grin, Bartleby ran off, chasing the dive-bombing butterfly. It was a pretty little blue one. Soon, it was joined by another. And another. To Bartleby's astonishment, he soon found himself surrounded by dozens of inquisitive butterflies. And they all seemed to want a good chase from him.

Bartleby was only too happy to oblige. He spread his wings and took to the air. The garden house was so large and the ceiling so high that there was plenty of room for flying around in. Bartleby had on a bright smile as he chased after the butterflies. He loved the idea that his prey now wanted to be hunted, just for the fun of it!

The young bat joyfully laughed out loud. He was rather startled when one of his new fluttery friends took the opportunity to zoom right into his mouth and land serenely on his tongue.

Bartleby perched on a ceiling strut. He stuck his tongue out to regard the little fella. It was a medium-sized green one with yellow and black stripes. It regarded him as well. Its movements were mildly impatient, and it took Bartleby a few seconds to realize that this butterfly was all but begging to be eaten!

That plaque at the entrance had been right about understanding the nonevs, Bartleby thought. There was no denying it; he simply *knew* that this little butterfly wanted nothing more than for a nice bat to chew him all up.

The other butterflies were circling him, eagerly awaiting their new bat playmate's reaction.

Bartleby reached out his thumbclaw to gently lift the green and yellow one off his tongue.

"It's really cool that you're okay with being prey, but I did just eat a big breakfast. And you guys don't taste very good. Sorry, but I know that from experience."

Green-and-yellow fluttered his wings huffily, as if to say, 'Nonsense!' Not about to take no for an answer, he suddenly darted off Bartleby's finger and shot straight into the boy's mouth again!

Bartleby chuckled at the absurdity of it all. He was taking orders from a fatalistic butterfly! "Okay, just one," he mumbled.

Oh so gently, be began to chew his little friend. The butterfly sent out waves of joy that Bartleby received loud and clear. The other butterflies danced about excitedly, knowing their turn would come soon.

To the young bat's surprise, the little insect in his mouth was delicious! Apparently, whatever force in Hell granted wishes to furries also granted them to nonevs. Since these butterflies were vore fans, they had all wished to be as pleasing to a chiropteran palate as they could be.

Eager now to try more of the little guys, Bartleby simply wished his full-tummy feeling away and grinned predatorially at the remaining butterflies.

They trembled in excitement.

Bartleby lunged from his perch and scattered his new prey friends to the four winds. He took off after them with gusto. They were just as eager for a good chase as he was, since so few bats passed by their way. They made sure to give Bartleby a thrilling hunt. The colorful little teases kept him on his toes as they twirled and dipped this way and that. Bartleby countered with an impressive array of aerial acrobatics, some of which he hadn't even known he could do until he'd already done them.

One by one, the mighty hunter brought down the wild, feral butterflies. Bartleby snatched them up left and right, always taking the greatest care to be gentle with them. He'd pluck them out of the air with his nimble footclaws and then pop them into his mouth, where he would chew them up and savor their flavors. They all tasted at least as scrumptious as their colors were dazzling.

Ducking amid the tree branches and ceiling supports, and occasionally evading a tickling vine, Bartleby had rounded up all the little flying treats after about fifteen minutes or so. Not bad, he thought proudly. He gave his tummy a pat as he hung upside-down from a branch. He could feel his new friends fluttering about inside his tummy. It was a sensation that defied description. "Hey, I've got butterflies in my stomach!" he realized with a laugh.

After spending a few more minutes resting and digesting, he decided to flutter down and see what his friends were up to.

* * *

Gillian was busy being shagged rotten by a large mass of glowing green semitransparent tendrils. She opened one eye and gave Bartleby a wink and a smile as he passed by, then shouted out in bliss as another load of plant spooge was shot right up her tight tush.

Xander and Lexi were at the venus fly traps, digesting happily, with just their heads poking out from the huge leafy mouths. They looked almost like they were the meat in gigantic green tacos.

They both said variations on hello as their bat friend approached. "Whatcha been doin'?" Lexi asked.

"I just ate about a billion butterflies," the stuffed little bat replied.

"Oh, I was wondering what the hell you were doing up there," said Xander. "I saw you flying around, back and forth, up and down. You looked like you were on dope!"

Bartleby chuckled. "Nope, just catchin' bugs." He burped. "And don't worry, they were all totally okay with it. They even insisted on it! I actually got bullied by a butterfly!"

Lexi and Xander giggled. "So, are you ready to go do something else now?" Xander asked.

"I guess. Unless you're still having fun being plantfood."

"No, I'm almost done," Lexi said. "These big guys work fast! I'm nothing but bones and soup! Here, pull my head out for me."

Bartleby walked into the grove of venusians to retrieve the little hyena's head. Some of the plants seemed to glance at him, then recognize that he wasn't in the mood to be eaten at the moment, so they politely left him alone. Bartleby took Lexi's cheeks in his paws and tugged. He actually stumbled back a few steps in surprise when her head separated from the rest of her with barely any resistance at all. It was like tearing wet toilet paper.

The bodiless hyena looked up to Bartleby with a huge smile. "That felt so cool! I love being just a head!"

"Now find a basketball hoop to throw her through!" Xander suggested.

"You are such an asshole!" she laughed.

Xander laughed too, then let out a yelp. "Yikes! Bartleby! Quick, catch me!"

The young bat sprinted over and barely caught Xander's head in his footclaw as it oozed right off his shoulders. "That was close!"

"Yeah, almost landed on my nose! Thanks, dude!"

Bartleby held up the two heads, one in each winghand. "So what do I do with you guys now?"

"Just set us on the ground, we'll be fine," Lexi instructed.

Bartleby did as she asked. He set his friends' heads down on the blanket of foliage at his feet. Xander and Lexi closed their eyes and concentrated, and within seconds they'd grown new bodies.

Xander stretched and arfed happily. "Mmm, feels so good to be in a brand new body!"

Lexi went over to the plant that had eaten her and gave it a great big hug. "Thank you so much! That felt wonderful. I hope I made a tasty meal for you." It wrapped a big, soft leaf around her, and she gave its pod a kiss.

"Hey, toss me my cock," Xander asked.

Bartleby dug around in his shorts and retrieved the little set of fox bits. "Here ya go. They might have some lint on them though."

"No problem." Since Xander had a brand new set of genitalia (as did Lexi), he didn't need his old ones anymore. He tossed his cock 'n balls over to the fly trap that was happily digesting the rest of him. "Enjoy!"

The big plant opened its jaws just long enough to snap the yummy dessert right out of the air. It gurgled gratefully.

Lexi joined them after saying goodbye to the friendly fly trap and willing a new tank top and skirt onto herself.

Just as they were about to go look for Gillian, the kitty in question turned up. She looked like she'd been run over by a truck full of green jello. She was covered head to toe in plant slime, her dress was ripped to shreds, and her glasses were smashed to smithereens and hung lopsidedly across her face.

"Are you okay?" Bartleby asked with concern.

She grinned as broadly as she possibly could. "Never felt better!"

As they all headed off to the next stop on their zoological adventure, Gillian brought up the rear, walking very oddly indeed, and leaving a trail of goo behind her.

Just before they exited the gardens, a green butterfly with yellow and black stripes fluttered up to Bartleby, lit on his forehead, gave its wings a single, appreciative flap, and flew away.

* * * * *

~~~Chapter Five~~~

Thin shady trees lined a long, wide walkway that led away from the greenhouse to the main part of the zoo. The four friends were surrounded by mothers pushing baby strollers, other happy cubs, and even the occasional nonev escapee.

Xander had his nose in the map again. "Otters ahoy!" he shouted.

Gillian, who by now had gotten herself back to normal (but was still beaming with yiffy satisfaction) peeped over the fox's shoulders. "The penguins are closer."

The fox's ears drooped. "I wanted to take a swim with Bartleby and the otters," he said disappointedly.

The foursome stopped and moved off to the side of the path. They all knew the zoo was too darn big to see everything in a single day, so there were simply some stops they'd have to skip. Their first vexation had popped up already.

Lexi looked down the path and could see the otter habitat and the air-conditioned penguin house up ahead. They really were just a stone's throw apart. She felt a lightbulb pop up over her head. "Bartleby, which would you rather go see?"

He thought a bit. "I guess the otters. Penguins are okay, but I bet they keep it really cold in there." He shivered just thinking about it. "My wings get chilly real easy."

She nodded. "Okay than, you and Xander can go play with the otters, and me and Gillian can go eat some cute penguins."

The calico smiled and purred. "Great idea, Lexi!"

They boys thought so too. "So, whoever gets done first goes and finds the others?" asked Xander.

Lexi nodded. "Sounds good to me."

They all shook on it, and the two groups ran off in opposite directions.

* * *

As the fox and bat approached a partially-indoor area with a large rocky outcropping protruding through the top, Bartleby had a thought. "Hey, Xander..."

The young canine perked up his ears. "Hm?"

"They got any dinosaurs here?"

Xander laughed, and Bartleby at first thought he'd asked a totally stupid question.

"Naw, none here; there's not enough room," the fox explained. "There's a whole 'nother zoo for dinos across town, and there's even portals you can take to places where they still run around wild."

"Oh, cool!!" the little bat burst out. He'd gone through a dinosaur phase as a rugrat, and, like many young boys, dreamed of seeing the big guys up close some day. "Yeah, it just occurred to me; they're all dead, so why wouldn't they be here?"

Xander nodded. "'Zactly. We gotta go there sometime. Next week, maybe? Believe me, you haven't been eaten until you've been gulped by a T-rex!"

Bartleby shivered excitedly, imagining looking into a mouth that huge... Those big sharp bat-crunching teeth...

* * *

Terry automatically took a picture of the entrance to the otter exhibit, just as he'd been snapping candid shots of Bartleby and his friends all along. He knew Bartleby'd be much too excited to remember to take pictures of all the very best stuff, so, like a good plushie, Terry was only too happy to do it for him. Although, given where they were now headed, he sure hoped he was waterproof.

A blast of laughter so forceful it nearly knocked Bartleby off his feet greeted the two boys upon entering the otter exhibit. Part of it was like a little indoor science display, with pictures on the walls and fun facts about otters and other forest dwellers. The rest was sort of a cross between a small mountain waterfall and a public swimming pool. Dozens of furs splashed about in the little artificial lake, joined by an energetic troupe of friendly otters and a few placid sea lions. Where the two areas met, there was a long glass wall where visitors could actually see into the underwater part of the pool. The otters seemed perfectly aware of this feature as they darted gracefully past the big windows, doing loop-the-loops and fancy tricks.

"Sweet!" said Bartleby.

Xander was already shucking his shirt off and tossing it casually behind him. "C'mon, get those clothes off!" he urged his pal. "Skinnydipping's the rule here. If you go in with shorts, the otters'll steal 'em right off you!"

Bartleby chuckled at that mental image. He wriggled out of his top and shorts and ran over to the edge of the pool. Xander was already at the edge and he extended a paw to help Bartleby up too.

"Your fur looks really sexy today," Bartleby said as his naked fox friend pulled him up beside him.

Xander grinned gratefully. "Thanks! You too." He gave Bartleby's tush a light swat. The boys grinned. "Last one in's a-"

Xander didn't get to finish, because at that point Bartleby playfully shoved him straight in. The naughty bat giggled and dove in after him. The water was deliciously cool and refreshing in contrast to the hot afternoon sun.

The bat and fox surfaced, giggling heartily and splashing each other.

"You jerk!" Xander sputtered, grinning ear to ear.

"Buttface!"

"Stinkhead!"

"Assmouth!"

"Turdmuncher!"

Noticing the new arrivals (who were laughing so hard they could barely see), two inquisitive otters came over to say hello.

Bartleby forced down his giggles enough to regard the lithe, slinky pair. "Hey, you guys are cute!"

They apparently understood him, because they zipped right over to nuzzle the boys with their wide brown noses. Bartleby laughed as their long whiskers tickled him all over. They also seemed interested in Terry, who was still hanging around Bartleby's neck. They both sniffed at his lens and he got a few nice closeup portraits of them.

Xander reached out to pet one's smooth, wet fur, and got a happy churr in response. The otter, a female, turned and bumped playfully into the fox's tummy. She laid her head on his chest and looked up at him, her eyes asking politely, 'Do that some more?' Xander was glad to oblige, and skritched and petted his new friend all over while she lounged on her back and made happy otter sounds.

Bartleby's new aquatic pal was more interested in playing. He zipped around behind the young bat and gave him a whisker-tickle in the small of his back. Bartleby gave a laughing yelp and spun around. This time the otter went under the boy and gave his tailtip a friendly play-bite. Laughing, Bartleby tried to whirl around quick enough to catch the frisky little guy, but the otter was much too quick. And he was having too much fun teasing this little bat too!

The two boys splashed about a bit with their respective nonev friends until they finally bumped into one another again. "Havin' fun?" Xander asked.

Bartleby nodded. "These guys can swim _fast_!"

"Uh huh, look over there," said the fox, pointing across the pond. There, several more otters were giving a group of younger kits rides on their backs. The little toddler furs squealed in delight and held on tight as their speedy friends went zooming along through the water.

That reminded Bartleby of something. "Hey, I'm guessing we can't drown, right?"

Xander nodded.

"So what happens if we stay underwater too long?"

The fox smiled craftily. "How 'bout I show you?" Before Bartleby could answer, the sly fox dunked him, and pulled himself down as well.

Instinctual panic swept over Bartleby for a few seconds and he had to fight to convince himself that he was perfectly safe. He knew from experience that he didn't have to breathe anymore if he didn't want to, so being underwater shouldn't have held any danger whatsoever, right?

He _knew_ that, but he could feel the weight of the water completely surrounding him, feet to eartips, so much heavier than air...

He opened his eyes, and saw Xander grinning back at him. "You okay?" the fox asked.

Bartleby was more than a little surprised he could understand him okay. Maybe his ears had automatically adapted to adjust to the water's distortion. Hell's giving force did seem to have a way of making helpful little changes like that. "I think so." A billow of bubbles rose from his mouth when he talked. Bartleby chuckled and blew some more.

Xander hugged his winged friend. "Isn't this great? This has gotta be one of my favorite places in the zoo. I told you I come up here all the time. I've seen everything a million times, so sometimes I just hang out here all day."

Bartleby could understand that. Now that his brief moment of uncertainty had passed, he realized that this was an incredible feeling! Being nearly weightless like this, feeling the cool water surrounding him, almost gently cradling him. The young bat gave Xander a return squeeze.

Xander replied with a soft kiss to Bartleby's cheek. "Um, yiffing underwater's really cool. Would you maybe like to try it?" he asked shyly.

Bartleby nodded silently, thinking that was a very good idea indeed. Even though they were sharing the pool with dozens of other furries and nonevs, even though anyone could walk by and see them through the glass window, Bartleby felt like he and Xander had the water all to themselves. He loved how free his foxy friend made him feel. Xander was always so open with his yiffiness, always ready to play. It helped Bartleby to believe that maybe he could be the same way someday. He'd already made great strides in accepting who he was inside, accepting that he liked both boys and girls (boys just a bit more) and that that was perfectly okay. Nothing wrong with it at all. Nothing bad or dirty. Perfectly innocent and natural. The little bat pulled Xander closer to him and nuzzled one little black-furred fox ear.

The otters, sensing that the two boys were beginning to share a moment, smiled to one another and let them be. They swam off in search of new friends to play with, or maybe even to create a moment themselves.

Xander actually appreciated Bartleby's hesitancy. The young bat was much better at taking things slow and gentle. Xander was usually a hyperactive little furball, and Bartleby was good at teaching him how to slow down and enjoy just being together. "Bartleby...?" he whispered coyly in his friend's wide, sexy ear.

"Mm?"

"Would you like to try a sixty nine? Underwater's the best place to do it. No one gets smooshed on the bottom."

The little bat grinned. "Sounds good to me!"

Xander gave a nod and a little lick to Bartleby's sensitive nose. He smiled at hearing his friend's giggles as he swam out of the hug and got himself turned around. He put his arms around Bartleby's waist and felt the bat's wings encircling him too: tummy to tummy.

Bartleby was now face-to-face with Xander's penis. Sure, he'd seen it plenty of times before, but it was still a special sight nevertheless. Here was something he'd never seen before in his life on Earth. Back where play like this would have gotten him and Xander in deep, deep trouble, and maybe even sent into therapy! But now, here, they were free to show their love for each other in any way they pleased. Freedom was a wonderful feeling.

Another wonderful feeling was that of Xander suddenly lunging forth and slurping Bartleby's whole length into his mouth without warning! The young bat stiffened up and let out a loud moan that made ripples in the water around them. Xander was so *good* at this!

Not wanting to be selfish, Bartleby opened his mouth and pulled Xander's cute round buns closer so he could taste his friend's maleness too. That adorable pink member pointed right at him, as if waving hello. With a happy smile, Bartleby gave it a big lick, then started in to suck on it.

Xander's tail was wagging gracefully through the water as he held on tighter to his favorite bat and thanked him for that exciting lick. He snuffled his nose in Bartleby's pubic fur, wishing his sense of smell worked better underwater. He'd discovered that bats had a very exotic, sexy scent. Bartleby's unique odor was a joy to Xander's sensitive nose. He just smelled so *different* than everyone else he knew. For now though he was content with taste, and his friend's cock was very, very tasty indeed!

Bartleby was thinking the same about Xander. He'd been surprised to discover how yummy penises were. He loved having them in his mouth. It was impossible to pick a favorite. Mr. Oakley's was the most beautiful. Criss' was the most exciting. But Xander's was special because it was such a perfect fit. It was like someone had made a mold of Bartleby's mouth just so Xander's cock could be sculpted to fit it.

The two boys were almost always yiffy anyway, so it didn't take much to bring them closer and closer to climax. Just the taste of Bartleby's cock was driving Xander wild. That, and the sheer knowledge that here he was, in a pool full of otters, with his new best friend in Hell, gleefully sucking away at each other. It felt wonderfully naughty to be doing something so intimate in such a public place.

Xander's playfully mischievous side suggested an idea to him. An idea he had no idea if Bartleby would like or not. But both boys were wrapped up in their passion now. He hoped Bartleby wouldn't mind, that the sensations of it wouldn't be too much of a shock...

Bartleby was busy losing himself in the flavor and fun of having another boy's dick in his mouth, and the wonderful feeling of having his pleasured as well. He felt Xander's sharp little canine teeth nibble lightly around the corona of his tip and he squirmed in arousal.

Then suddenly, his eyes went wide when he felt those little teeth sink in deep! Before he had time to react, Xander had bitten his cockhead right off! And swallowed it!

It was a shock, but oh WOW, what a yiffy one! Bartleby murred at feeling his cock grow shorter, feeling Xander's tongue lash at the open bite. There was absolutely no pain at all. Bartleby nuzzled and kissed his foxy lover's cock to show him that he'd definitely liked that!

Xander was overjoyed to know Bartleby was cool with it. He took another bite, daintily separating a thin ring of batmeat from his young lover's cock.

Oh, that felt so _good_! Bartleby thanked Xander by taking a small, hard bite out of the side of the little fox's shaft. Mmmm, it was delicious too!

Xander shouted out an arf of joy as Bartleby bit down. Knowing his friend was enjoying him too made it even better. He bit down again, this time just sinking his fangs in and feeling the boycock throb in his mouth.

Bartleby kicked at the water and pawed at Xander's soft butt. He drove his bat fangs right into the soft, spongy meat of Xander's tip.

That sent the yiffy little fox right over the edge. He crunched down messily on Bartleby's penis and blasted cum into the bat's mouth.

Bartleby gulped it all down eagerly, not noticing the little droplets that escaped out into the water and floated away. He swallowed all of that yummy fox juice, and washed it down with bite-size chunks of foxcock.

Xander chomped and chomped Bartleby's cock down to a stump, and there ended up being just enough left to wrap his lips around when the little bat came too. Thick batcum poured down Xander's eager throat. The pudgy fox loved the taste of cum so much! While his Dad's had the best flavor, hands down, no contest, Bartleby easily made second place.

They had just enough yiffy energy left to finish their snacks by nibbling off one another's balls. Afterwards, the two boys went limp and drifted languidly in a circle with their muzzles in each other's crotches, totally smooth and sexless.

"Wow..." Xander lifted his muzzle and finally said.

"That was incredible!" Bartleby added. "That was such a cool idea! It felt great! Those teeth of yours are really sharp!"

Xander giggled. He swam around to face his friend again and gave him a playful nip on his noseleaf. "I'm really glad you liked it. I was kinda worried you'd freak out and want to stop."

Bartleby hugged him. "It's okay. You know I trust you, and it just felt so good! It was surprising, yeah, but not in a bad way."

Xander smiled. He rubbed their twin dickless crotches together, making both of them squeak in yiffy delight. "Sometimes I think the best part of having a cock is losing it all the time!"

Bartleby laughed out loud. But he had to admit, the fox had a point. Xander was so totally relaxed about stuff like this, he'd probably find it bizarre if he lost something and it *didn't* grow back right away. "So, you think the girls are done playin' with penguins by now?"

Xander glanced up (from his perspective) and smiled. "Yup!"

Bartleby looked too, and saw Lexi and Gillian leaning on the glass with taut tummies and wide grins.

'Great show!' Lexi mouthed at them.

"Thanks!" Xander called back.

He and Bartleby swam up to meet them, shivering in pleasure at the feel of the chilly water on their little empty boy-places.

* * *

Meanwhile...

...Xander's parents were up to their necks in mud.

Soft classical piano tones drifted unhurriedly through the air, sharing a dance with the scent of soft incense. Mrs. Oakley took a sip from her champagne glass. "So, what do you think the kids are getting up to by now?" she asked her husband.

The lean, handsome fox lifted his muddy arms from the cool, soothing muck and folded them behind his head. "Oh, probably getting their brains yiffed out. Or getting digested."

"Knowing Xander, probably both," Mrs. Schaddenfreude commented.

The Oakleys chuckled; she was probably right.

As they'd driven off from the zoo on their way to a sinfully relaxing day spa, the two foxes had spotted their son's teacher walking around downtown. On a whim, they'd pulled up alongside her and asked if she'd like to join them. Since she was only out doing some light shopping anyway, the mousewoman was more than happy to accept their invitation.

After getting a massage so thorough they all wondered if they had any bones left in their bodies, the mouse and two foxes were carried on royal divans by the spa's robot staff to the mudpits. They slipped into the ooey, gooey goop and felt all their troubles melt away. The Oakleys loved Xander more than anything else, but keeping up with a kit can be very tiresome, and a day of total relaxation like this is always a welcome treat.

"How's he doing, by the way? In school, I mean," Mrs. Oakley inquired.

Mrs. Schaddenfreude grinned. "Excellent, as always. He's a joy to have in class. Easily one of the naughtiest boys I've ever taught. His imagination for trouble is limitless." She giggled, thinking fondly of all the merry punishments she'd administered to him in just the last few weeks.

The vixen rolled her eyes. "I sort of meant academically."

"Oh, oh. I see," the mouselady replied, playing at just now understanding. She flashed her vixen friend a charmingly kidding smile. "Don't you worry. As much as he gets in trouble, he always makes sure to leave enough time for his schoolwork. He's a smart little kit, that's for sure. Very eager. Dives headfirst into whatever we're studying. And very good with the other students as well. That new boy, Bartleby, have you met him?"

The foxes both nodded. "Met him? Heck, we've eaten him!" said Mr. Oakley.

"He makes an excellent stew!" his wife noted.

"Does he now?" Mrs. Schaddenfreude asked with interest. "I'll have to wait until he's chosen for school lunch next week to give him a taste... Anyway, Xander and Lexi have been doing everything they can to help him get adjusted to living here. You should be very proud of your son."

"We are," both foxes said as one.

Mrs. Schaddenfreude took a moment to sip from her glass of creme soda (she'd never cared much for alcohol in any form). She stretched out, sinking a little lower into the mud, feeling it lap at her throat. She got a sudden, naughty idea, and reached out her leg to the right...

A second later, Mr. Oakley 'Eep!'ed and sat straight up, mud droplets flying all over.

"Irweena!" Mrs. Oakley chastised. "Are you doing what I think you're doing to my husband?"

She smiled innocently. "Playing footsie with that magnificent cock of his? But of course, Linda. How could I resist?" she purred back.

The vixen grinned. "You naughty, naughty schoolteacher! You're going to have to be punished!"

"Oh goody!" said the mouselady.

"Can I help?" Mr. Oakley asked.

"Certainly dear. You hold, I'll tickle!"

A moment later, the pearly cries of mouse laughter rang through the stately oak halls of the day spa...

* * * * *

~~~Chapter Six~~~

Two proud new boy penises led the way down the paved walkway, standing at attention like tin soldiers.

Bartleby murred at the sun's rays warming his boybits. "I love how when you grow somethin' back, it always feels so tingly and good for a little while after."

"Totally!" Xander agreed.

The girls giggled.

"It's best when it's your whole body," Lexi remarked. "Like when you pulled me out of that nice flytrap back there. You feel all liquidy, then all warm and tickly. It's kinda relaxing and kinda invigorating at the same time." She put a little bounce in her step just thinking about it. "So, Bartleby, howd'ya like the otters?"

"Watching you two snacking on each other was sexy as hell!" Gillian joined in.

Bartleby thanked her for the compliment, then told the girls all about his experience; getting to pet and play with the otters, then enjoying a fantastic yiff underwater. Xander filled in plenty of details too.

"How were the penguins?" Bartleby asked Gillian. The young bat patted his kitty friend's rounded tummy. "And how many did you eat anyway?"

She hid a giggle and a dainty burp behind her paws. "They were great! So friendly! They just waddle right up and say hi. It's cold in there, but you get used to it pretty quick. Lexi and I both jumped in the water and the penguins were all swimming around with us. Even some little baby ones! They were so cute, all grey 'n fuzzy. I couldn't resist. I opened my mouth and pointed inside, and one of them just dove right in! Then all the other ones were paddling around, wanting to go inside too, and the momma penguin was actually pointing them towards me, encouraging them! I gulped 'em all down, and then Momma and Daddy went in too! I could hear the little ones peeping in my tummy. It was great! I love it when my prey's so happy and willing! A whole family in my belly!"

Lexi smiled and gave Gillian a shoulder bump. "Me too!" She turned back to the boys. "They've got this little slide in there, so the penguins can climb up and then go zooming down into the water, okay? Can you kinda picture that? Okay, now picture me treading water at the bottom of the slide with my mouth open! I gulped down five of 'em! It was so cool, watching them shoot down like plump little black and white torpedoes, then *WOOMP*, straight into my stomach! Very intense!"

Bartleby could perfectly picture that in his mind. It was weird to think that something so cartoony could really happen here. "Hey, I got another question, ...if you're not all sick of them now, that is."

"Of course not, Bartleby!" Lexi reassured, with Gillian and Xander expressing similar sentiments. "You haven't even been here two weeks! I was still asking about ordinary, everyday stuff for a year or so after I got here. Why this, why that, driving my Gramma up the wall!"

The bat smiled, happy to have such supportive friends. "Okay thanks. So, like, if you ate those guys in there, and now they're in your stomach, then how are they gonna get back to their habitat-thing?"

"They're probably already there!" said Lexi. "It's like how a lotta people portal out when they get swallowed, instead of going all the way through 'n gettin' brown. Digesting usually takes a lot of time, even if its shortened here. Hours instead of days. But still, you don't always wanna spend hours going through someone's intestines. So you just wish yourself out where you started."

"Then how come your tummy's still so big?"

She gave him a playful swat. "You don't tell girls they've got fat tummies!" she scolded, then let him know she was just kidding. "Naw, it's like the flytraps again. You can portal out and still leave your body there. It's the polite thing to do. That way, you can get on with your day, and your pred can still enjoy a nice, filling meal."

The little bat nodded. "I get it. At least I think I do."

"And even if they stayed for the whole ride," Gillian noted, "the penguins, I mean, and we pooped 'em out somewhere, I'm sure one of the zoo volunteers would be there to help them get back home."

Lexi 'Mm hmm'ed. "Oh, I'm sure of it."

Bartleby felt a little tug around his neck. He looked down and saw Terry was wiggling eagerly. "What is it?" he asked quietly.

The little foxcamera couldn't speak, so he tried to point his viewfinder at his owner so he'd get the hint.

Bartleby did. He held Terry up to his eye. "Okay, what did you want me to see?"

Terry panned over the sights of the long walkway and an enormous park fountain (which he made sure to get a shot of) and finally zoomed in on what he'd seen in the distance to arouse his attention.

Bartleby jumped. "Gaaah!"

"What, what?" Xander asked.

"Big pointy teeth!" the bat yelped.

Puzzled, Xander scanned up ahead and past a grove of trees he saw what Bartleby had seen. He couldn't help laughing. "Look again!"

Bartleby did, coaxing Terry not to zoom in so close this time, and realized he was looking at an enormous greenish bronze statue of a dinosaur, who was roaring silently right towards the lens! "Oh!" He felt a little silly now. "It just startled me."

Lexi now realized what the two boys were talking about. "The reptile house!" she squealed eagerly. "Let's go!"

* * *

If the mighty allosaur outside the large trapezoidal building was impressive, the actual collection of real live scaly beasties inside was nothing short of astonishing. Snakes so long it seemed impossible they could be a single living creature. Turtles the size of trash compactors. Newts and salamanders with bizarre fringed decorations on their bodies. Tiny little poison arrow frogs in colors so vibrant they looked like dollops of paint come to life. And, looking like smaller versions of the big fella outside, crocodiles, alligators and a mated pair of komodo dragons strutted about in a huge sunken area in the center.

The smooth, jet black floor amplified the sounds of hundreds of furry kids' toenails click-click-clicking about as they ran to and fro. Little paws reached out to touch rough, scaly skin. Long serpent bodies coiled about excited furry soon-to-be meals. Little frogs hopped around free, occasionally being squooshed flat by unwary paws, and not minding a bit. The croc pit was full of smiling furs, either relaxing in the cool, swampy water, riding on a big leathery back, or feeling the awesome power of those colossal sets of jaws. A startled scream ripped through the air all of a sudden, and just as quickly turned into a delighted giggle.

Bartleby was stone silent for a few minutes after he walked in, just taking in the amazing sights all around him. He'd been to zoos before back on Earth, had seen reptiles and amphibians in their little glass enclosures. Or rather, had NOT seen them, since they were almost always asleep or hiding. But here, all these gorgeous, strange, startlingly unusual creatures were hopping and slithering about freely. As if they were proud to be in a place where they could finally be seen and appreciated.

Xander was holding out his arm for an impossibly-green little snake to slither up along it. The little fox was clearly in awe, almost honored by this beautiful being's presence.

The emerald tree boa coiled himself loosely around the foxboy's neck and shoulders like a fur stole. He flicked his tongue out to sniff his new companion, tickling the boy's whiskers in the process.

Bartleby and the girls came over to softly stroke the gorgeous green snake. "Wow, he's beautiful," Gillian whispered.

"I know. He perked right up when he saw me, so I decided to give him a ride," Xander said.

The snake gave Bartleby a curious look with its wide, yellow eyes. The young bat realized that the snake probably thought they were all as weird and fascinating as they found him to be. "Hi there," Bartleby said softly, and the snake sniffed him.

Lexi noticed her bat friend didn't seem shy about snakes at all. That was good, since she'd had an idea she wanted to try with him ever since he'd invited her along on this trip. "Bartleby?"

"Huh?"

"You remember your first day, when we were walking home from school?"

Bartleby grinned. "Of course! You got eaten by that bigass snake. Is he here now? Did you wanna go see him again?"

She nodded gleefully. "Definitely! But I was also hoping you could come with me. Remember I told you you should really try being snakefood? It's so much fun! I'd love to get eaten with you, if you don't mind."

"Mind? No way! That sounds really exciting!" Well, truthfully, it did sound a little scary too. But Bartleby knew it really wasn't dangerous. And Lexi just looked so eager, how could he possibly disappoint her?

"Oh cool!!" she barked as she hugged him tight. "Okay, so we're gonna go get squeezed," she told Xander and Gillian. "Where're you guys gonna be?"

"I'm gonna go hop in with the gators," said Gillian. "I'm in more of a 'crunch' mood than a 'gulp' one."

Xander thought a bit. "I'm not sure. I guess I'll just wander around a bit and see if anything jumps out at me. Pun intended."

The others groaned and chuckled. "Okay. We'll all find each other eventually then," said Lexi. She took Bartleby by the paw. "Let's go! You're really gonna love this!"

"Okay, just gimme a second." He held up Terry. "Smile, guys!"

Xander, Gillian and the boa all smiled for the camera.

*click*

* * *

"Hey, can you set your camera on a timer or something?" Lexi asked as she led Bartleby along to where the boa constrictors hung out.

"I don't have to. Terry can take pictures all by himself."

"Really?" she asked, incredulously. "You mean, he's a Real plushie!?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like, can he talk to you and move around 'n stuff?"

Bartleby hesitantly nodded, not sure if she'd think he was nuts for admitting to that.

Instead, she looked positively envious. "Awwww, you're so lucky! That's really rare. I wish I coulda brought some of mine to life, but it can only happen when you first come here."

Okay, whew, she believed him. "Yeah, Razielphustar said it was like something shaved off a little bit of my soul and put it in him." He gave the little fox-in-disguise a skritch. "I love him a lot. He's a very good little fox." Terry wiggled contentedly at the kind words.

Lexi could see the little fuzzy camera actually reacting to Bartleby's touch, and was totally amazed. "That is sooooooo cool!"

"We still don't know if, like, you or other furs could hear him or not, of it'd just seem like I was having a conversation with the air. Maybe we could try an experiment sometime?"

She nodded. "Definitely! I'd love to meet a Real plushie. I've heard of them, but never seen one." She petted Terry between his ears, and giggled when the little cloth ears wiggled in response. "Pleased to meet you..."

"Terry," Bartleby supplied.

"...Terry. You wanna take some pictures of Bartleby and me getting swallowed?"

The foxcamera gave his shutter two affirmative clicks.

"Neat!" Lexi lifted him up and over Bartleby's head, then looked around for a good spot to put him. They were close to the big snakes' home now, and there was a real, living tree growing in there among various other plants. Lexi hung Terry on a branch where he'd have a great view of the whole enclosure. "Perfect!"

"Good idea!" Bartleby told her. "So, where're the snakes?"

Lexi grinned. She pointed straight up.

Bartleby looked...

A split-second later he was on the ground with several hundred pounds of snakeflesh surrounding him. The boa thoughtfully placed her tailtip in his mouth to muffle his initial scream.

Lexi knelt down in the grass beside them. She stroked her paws along the female constrictor's long, smooth, spotted body. "Hello, Miss Boa. You're so beautiful! This is my friend Bartleby, and he's never been eaten by a big snake like you before, so please be gentle with him."

The boa gave the little hyena an understanding nod. She turned back to Bartleby, moving so fluidly she looked almost weightless. She eyed him thoughtfully. She glanced at her tailtip, her expression asking, 'If I take this out, you're not going to scream again, are you?'

Bartleby shook his head, and she let him speak. "You kinda scared the hell out of me," he admitted.

"Is that even possible? We're already here!" Lexi mused blithely.

The snake made a hissing sound that translated easily as a laugh.

Bartleby groaned.

Lexi continued caressing the beautiful boa. "So, where's your mate? The one who escaped a while ago and ate me?"

To answer her question, Lexi felt the breath knocked out of her as she was enveloped from out of nowhere by thick, strong scaly coils.

"Hello, handsome!!" she called out cheerfully. "Wow, it's good to see you again!"

The friendly boa gave her a good hard squeeze. He definitely remembered her from before, when he'd waited patiently in a tree outside the school, just itching for a tasty-looking young boy or girl to walk by. Lexi had been a joy to eat. Completely fearless. One of the most eager meals he could remember. He knew she wouldn't mind if he got a little rough with her, and he knew he couldn't really hurt her anyway.

Lexi cried out in delight as her boa friend gave her another rib-cracking crunch. She felt herself snapping and popping inside like a stepped-on bag of potato chips, and she loved it! "Oooooh!! Thank you!"

The female boa smiled, watching her mate having fun with the energetic little hyena girl. She gave the young boy in her embrace a soft, slow squeeze to start out, then asked silently, 'Did you like that?'

That same small tingle in the back of Bartleby's mind was feeding him fear, but it was getting easier every day to ignore it. And more than that, he was beginning to realize that he could control it instead. A little fear made things like this more exciting. He nodded to the snake, and realized she actually was very pretty. Her heavy body encircling him like a gigantic phone cord felt interesting too. He could feel the sheer, incredible might of her densely-packed muscle, just from that little squeeze.

She nuzzled his cheek and gave him another, harder hug. Bartleby stiffened and whimpered pleasurably at the intense new sensation.

The boy's reactions were as delicious as she knew he himself would soon be. It was in her nature to constrict and engulf her prey, but only after dying at the whim of a poacher had she been able to realize that such activities were *arousing* to her. She enjoyed immensely her method of predation, and with experimentation, she realized it turned her on even more when her food was turned on by it too. As billions upon billions of other predatory nonevs had realized after entering Hell, it was so much better to be friendly with one's food. To love one's prey. She doubted now she even *could* kill another animal who struggled and cried and begged for their life. She'd been given this gift so she could use it to become better, to leave behind the need for ruthless hunting and cold-blooded killing. Even though she was, in fact, cold blooded, that didn't mean she couldn't also have a warm heart. Gently introducing this uncertain little bat boy to the interior of her body would be an absolute joy.

Bartleby moaned softly and let himself go totally limp. Those warm, smooth coils encircling him right up to his neck, growing incrementally tighter with every breath he took... It was more sensual than he'd ever imagined. The snake was being so kind to him, acknowledging he was new to this and going as slow as he needed. She watched him the whole time, sniffing at him now and then with her flicky black tongue.

"This feels really good," he told her in a husky whisper.

She smiled happily to hear him say so, and gave him a grateful nuzzle. Then she thought of a way to make it feel even better for him. With the dexterousness only a snake can possess, she expertly arranged her coils to slip the boy's rock-solid erection into a gap between sections of herself. Then, giving him just enough time to realize what she was doing, she gave him a good hard clench all over, lovingly crushing his maleness between her scaly flesh.

Bartleby cried out in pleasure overload. That was *incredible*! "Oh, please, do that again!" he pleaded.

Begging to be constricted instead of begging to be set free! The boa laughed at the happy irony and once again thanked whatever force in this realm had given her the chance to share such pleasure with her prey. She did just as Bartleby asked, grinding his cock hard between her coils, just exactly hard enough to be as erotic as possible.

The little bat was losing it. He'd thought at first he'd just do this to make Lexi happy, but he had no idea it'd feel this good! He thought he would definitely have to come up here again and again to get squeezed some more by this wonderfully sexy snake!

Lexi's toes were already being tasted by her reptilian companion. Her boa had constricted the living shit out of her in just a few seconds, and it had been paradise for the yiffy little hyenafemme. She felt like her insides had been turned into chunky Lexi-flavored peanut butter. She felt like a pelt full of beef stew. It was a very relaxing feeling, to have your whole body flattened and crushed and smoothed out like bread dough. She remembered Gillian mentioning how much she liked being crushed in the back of her favorite garbage truck. If the sensations were at all similar, Lexi considered joining her new friend in the compactor one day.

Bartleby could no longer take even the tiniest breath. The boa constrictor had squeezed all the air out of him like a balloon, and now she was crushing him to goo, a thick paste of bat boy held together by just his fur. All that could be seen of him were his head and his wiggling toes.

The young bat had his eyes closed, making soft little pleasure sounds. The boa saw that he was ready to be swallowed. She kissed him on his cheek and began rearranging herself. Most snakefood neophytes, as well as plenty of veterans like Lexi, preferred being eaten feet-first. It allowed them to watch themselves going inside, and they could also still carry on a conversation. It was a bit of a contortion for the snake, but the boa thought it a small inconvenience compared to keeping their prey happy during the process.

Bartleby's eyes opened when he felt that cute little tongue tickling his feet. He giggled, and felt his boa begin to nibble lightly around the edges of his furless hindpaws. She mouthed them for a little bit, enjoying the musky boy-flavor, before opening her mouth as wide as possible and taking his feet inside.

Soft, velvety moistness surrounded Bartleby's toes. It reminded him vaguely of when the monster under his bed had gulped him down that first night, when he was almost too sleepy to notice. The big purple slug hadn't been back since, and Bartleby hoped it was only because he was busy eating up other little kids, and would someday return to gobble him up again.

Lexi's tail tried to wag at seeing her friend taking to being snake prey better than she'd ever hoped for, but since it was currently trapped in a tight throat, all it could really do was wiggle a bit. The lusty little 'yena had squirmed and barked and felt tingly all over when her boa's mouth had slipped up past her little round bottom and engulfed her sex. Her femboner slipped oh so slowly past those careful lips, joining the rest of her lower half in his sexy esophagus.

"Hey, could we roll a little closer?" she asked her snake friend.

Communication was hard with a mouthful of whoever it was you were talking to, so the snake just blinked. Getting a firm grip on her, he did a barrel roll a few times until he bumped up beside his mate.

She was just getting done with her prey's taut, athletic calves. 'How is he?' the male boa asked her wordlessly.

'Scrumptious and very willing!' she replied happily.

'Not as willing as mine, I'm sure,' he countered.

Lexi nudged Bartleby with her little black nose. "You look like you're enjoying this," she said with a giggle.

It took Bartleby a few seconds just to register her, so lost was he in his dreamlike pleasure. "Oh, yeah, definitely. Thank you so much for suggesting this, Lexi! Thank you! This is just the best! This is even better than being cooked!"

She smiled proudly, happy to share something she loved with her friend, and finding out he loved it just as much. Her boa buddy was munching playfully away at her tummy. Her hands were tucked tightly to her sides, but she thought if she tried, she might be able to get them in front of her so she could paw off.

Gulp, gulp, gulp. More and more of Bartleby went into the hungry boa constrictor's mouth. She slithered herself up his legs. Her food was slender and lightweight, but very flavorful. And really, the experience was much more important to her than any nutritional intake. A tiny nonev mouse could make a wonderful meal if they enjoyed going down inside her enough. Her prey's happiness was what really nourished the boa more than anything else.

That exciting mouth was beginning to chew on his soft bottom. Bartleby jerked and yipped when she bit down gently on his ballsac. She mouthed his privates for a bit, getting him good and yiffy. She squeezed his cock between her coils again, mashing it nearly flat, feeling his excitement build.

Silently, Bartleby came. His mouth opened and nothing came out. But at the same time, spurts of bat come painted the boa's coils and dripped back down onto his fur.

Lexi came just watching him. Her own boa definitely enjoyed the extra splash of flavor.

Bartleby's dining companion did as well. She took the boy's soft cock into her mouth and savored the delicious, sweet addition to his flavor as his cum dribbled down to her tongue.

Another few gulps and Lexi was in up to her shoulders. She nuzzled and kissed Bartleby's cheek. "You just squirted," she teased. "So did I!"

"Cool," he said with a weak grin. This experience was extremely erotic, but very draining too.

"Wanna watch me go all the way in?"

"Sure!"

"Okay, here I go!"

Lexi smiled brightly, proud of herself for being such a good meal, as her boa's mouth crept closer and closer to finishing her off. She felt the nibbles on her neck, then at the back of her head. She finally got her paws around and began jerking her cock and rubbing her muff with wild abandon.

Bartleby watched, wide-eyed, as his friend slowly disappeared. It was just like that one time when he was little, and he'd seen a snake eating a rat in a petshop. But the two experiences were almost polar opposites in terms of his reactions. Back then, the rat had squirmed and cried, and Bartleby had wanted to smash the aquarium glass and do anything he could to save the poor little creature's life. Yet now, Lexi was cooing and grinning and obviously feeling nothing but pleasure, and Bartleby found himself cheering on the snake! 'Go, go, go! Eat her up!'

Her ears were tucked gently into that unstoppable maw, and soon pinkness descended over her vision. All that was left of Lexi was her beaming little brown muzzle "Goodbye, Bartleby!" she said joyfully. And with one last slurp, she was gone.

If he hadn't already just came, Bartleby certainly would have done so a second time. Seeing one of his best friends being devoured alive by a boa constrictor had been an experience he knew he'd never forget. And what he'd found most erotic of all was how happy she'd been. She knew she was perfectly safe, she knew noting bad would happen to her, she knew her snake was her friend and wouldn't hurt her. She was completely comfortable with it. If she'd ever felt any fear over doing something like this, it was completely conquered by now.

The female boa gave Bartleby a little bite, just to remind him that he was still getting eaten too, by the way.

The little bat snapped back to reality to notice that he was almost totally inside his snake as well! She was up to his chest, and the next thing he knew, his tiny nipples went between her lips.

Bartleby could see the bulge in the other boa squirming rhythmically as Lexi masturbated. That was what he was gonna look like in just a few moments! Just a wiggling bulge in a snake's body. The little bat thought Lexi had a good idea, and started working his winghands down to his crotch as well.

The male boa nudged his mate encouragingly, engrossed by the sight of her pulling down this cute young bat. He loved it when they could take their prey together, and cuddle afterwards with big full tummies.

Bartleby cooed and groaned quietly as he felt his shoulders slip inside. Soon, he'd be all gone! Snakefood! Just another meal for this beautiful snake...

The boa could feel her boy within her, beginning to play with himself. She chuckled. She loved that! Just the thought that her food was so turned on by being eaten that they had to paw off; it made her feel sexy and powerful. And now the little bat's ears were entering her mouth...

Bartleby's moans got louder as the boa came closer and closer to taking him all the way inside. He could feel his ears flattening out as the roof of her mouth bent them forwards. His bottom lip slipped inside of hers. He closed his eyes, and saw the light grow even dimmer as her jaws began to close. Just his noseleaf poked out now. He let out a last cry of fearful, yiffy excitement and then felt her lips close and a final gulp pulling him fully into her throat.

The boa gave an immensely satisfied sigh. Her mate slithered closer and the two lovers kissed, smiling at the feel of their plump, bulging bellies bumping together.

All Bartleby could see was a very faint dark pink color in front of his eyes, and even that was dimming rapidly. Her saliva was all around him. Her hot, pulsing muscle kneaded and massaged him as it drew him inexorably to where he would be digested.

The little bat smiled in deep contentment. He had no idea this could possibly feel so comforting. He stroked himself slowly. This was just like when he'd curl up in his blankets during a bone-chilling winter night, wrapping them as tight as possible around him and his plushies, making himself a little cocoon. Those memories mingled with his now, and aside from the sultry moisture and slightly pungent smell, overlapped perfectly.

Amazingly enough, Bartleby realized he felt safe. Safe inside the belly of a giant snake.

He grinned to himself and enjoyed the rest of his descent.

Meanwhile, Terry was proud of all the excellent shots he'd gotten, and looked forward to sharing them with Bartleby tonight when they got home.

* * * * *

~~~Chapter Seven~~~

Lexi really, really wished there was time to stay inside the whole time and get digested. For reasons even she didn't fully understand, she absolutely loved getting turned into a big pile of smelly poo. Alas, there were other things to see and do today, so she wished herself out from the comfy belly and reappeared a few feet away.

She smiled warmly at the sight of the two happy boas, snuggling romantically with big plump bellies. She walked over and gave the female's tummy a soft pat. "Bartleby? Can you hear me?"

A muffled, "Mm hmm."

"Time to portal out. We still got stuff to do. Don't wanna keep Xander and Gillian waiting while you digest."

"Hww dh ah lff mh bdee hrr?"

"Just want it to happen. Just picture yourself teleporting out, but leaving your body behind. It's easy."

"Mmkyy."

A moment later, there was a silent flash and Bartleby tumbled backwards out of a temporary portal, landing on his tush.

Lexi hid a chuckle behind her paw.

"I'll get the hang of that eventually," he vowed. The little bat got up and came back over to the snakes. "Thanks very much," he told the female, kneeling down beside her. "That felt wonderful. You were very gentle."

She slithered over to coil around him a little in a 'you're welcome' hug.

Lexi likewise hugged her boa and thanked him breathlessly for the exciting, yiffy experience. Both snakes nuzzled and kissed their prey.

Bartleby gave the pretty boa a soft kiss on top of her head, and ran his winghand along her smooth scales. "I'll come back again some other time. I promise," he told her softly.

When their goodbyes were said, Lexi and Bartleby got up to go find their friends. They waved to the nice snake couple, who wiggled their tails in return.

Bartleby hadn't taken two steps before he felt something living squish under his foot. "Oh no!"

He looked down and lifted his foot, and saw a little yellow frog perfectly flattened on the floor beneath.

"I'm so sorry!" Bartleby said with concern.

The frog took in a deep breath and puffed herself back up. She looked up and gave Bartleby a happy 'No problem! I liked it!' peep.

Bartleby grinned, glad to see there was no harm done. "Oh, really?" he asked, grinning, and lifted his foot again.

The frog stayed put as the little bat's paw descended upon her once again. "Peep!" she said in delight.

* * *

Snapshots from various moments of Bartleby's visit to the zoo:

-A sleepy, siberian tiger, looking rather a lot like an immense orange and white striped couch, glancing up from his nap just long enough to have his picture taken with four young furs. They all give him soft pats and leave him be.

Unfortunately, a few moments later, a class of much younger cubs arrives on the scene, and their overly cheerful and slightly dim teacher encourages them all to make tiger noises. Which they all do. At the top of their lungs.

The expression on the pathetically tired tiger's face perfectly says, 'Man, if they weren't little kids, I'd rip every one of their tiny, noisy little heads off one by one...'

-Gillian posing dashingly with a red panda seated on her head like a hat. The foursome stop for a while to feed the furry, frisky little critters some tasty leaves.

-At the hippopotamus pool, furry kids of all ages are lined up for a block-length behind a diving board. The hippos take turns swimming over to the board, tipping their heads back, and opening their mouths as wide as possible. One by one, the excited little cubs climb the ladder and step out onto the board. Then, bounce, bounce, bounce, dive! They squeal in excitement as they plummet toward those massive jaws and are gulped down like candy. Terry catches a perfect one-in-a-million shot of Xander grinning at the camera just before swan-diving into a happy hippo's mouth.

-The cubs stop off at a small concession stand for sno cones. Nearby is a lush patch of grass completely surrounded by trees. A perfect place to sit in the shade for a while and rest one's paws. The sno cones are cold and drippy and delicious. A little grey nonev squirrel approaches them. At first they think he wants food, but then he scurries over to Lexi and nuzzles up to her, and they realize he wants to *be* food instead! Lexi giggles as she opens her mouth and the little guy slips effortlessly down her throat, chittering his thanks when he reaches her cozy tummy.

Afterwards, they get up to throw their trash away and Gillian helps by jumping up in the can and stomping the garbage down good. Bartleby has his faithful foxcamera sneak a great shot of Xander playfully plopping the can's domed plastic lid down over her, and then another shot of the calico's bewildered yellow eyes peeking out from the darkness.

-A few moments later, they are at the giraffe's grassy meadow. The spindly, towering beasts nibble silently at tree leaves high above the ground. The cubs stand at their feet, looking up and up in awe. It's always startling to realize just how tall these guys really are. One of them cranes his neck down to give the cubs friendly nuzzles. Recognizing Gillian as a big fan, he kneels down enough for Xander and Lexi to help her up onto his back. The overjoyed kitten clings tightly to his neck as he gives her a leisurely ride around the grounds. Bartleby flies along behind her. Gillian's smile seems to outshine the sun.

-Nearby, a close-knit pack of hyenas hang out. Lexi cries out joyfully as she runs over to them, and they seem equally excited to see her as well. Much sniffing occurrs. And since in hyena society, their equvalent of a handshake is to give each other's cocks a slurp, Lexi is soon giggling wildly as dozens of warm tongues pleasure her happy femboner, and hyena laughter fills the air.

-Approximately in the center of the zoo's main area is an artificial jungle where the chimpanzees, gorillas and lions make their home. In any Earthside zoo, this arrangement would be disastrous, but here, all three species are friendly neighbors to each other. In fact, the lions had even chosen to move here from their old home, which the grizzly bears now inhabit. Bartleby and the others find themselves surrounded by fiercely growling little lion cubs, and are then pounced on by the energetic little kittens. They laugh and tussle with the young ones, while their smiling mamma looks on.

A little later, a silverback gorilla gives all four friends a ride on his shoulders. He obviously enjoys demonstrating his strength. He shows it in a variety of ways, including having Bartleby dangle from a single finger, while he smiles nonchalantly.

While she watches, a naughty chimp snatches Gillian's glasses, and the others go off to help her get them back. He blows raspberries at them from tree branches, always staying three or four steps ahead. Then finally, the foursome passes through the brush and finds themselves back on the walkway. The chimp is sitting placidly on a bench, dangling the glasses from his fingers and giving them an extremely smug grin. He hops over and gallantly hands Gillian back her specs, and extends his paw for a 'no hard feelings?' shake. She laughs and gives him a hug and a noogie.

-Inside a quintessentially iconic big red barn, there are a variety of traditional farm animals. Lexi and Gillian have no qualms at all about hopping in the pig pen and getting their paws muddy. Bartleby notices a small colony of nonev bats up in the rafters, and is surprised by just how small they are. They notice one of their brethren below and, since it's dim enough in the shady barn, don't mind fluttering down to say hello. Bartleby feels an odd but very deep connection to his ancestral cousins. The cute, gentle little bats perch on his shoulders or hang from his clothing, and he does his best to pet each and every one of them. The moment is a very special one for Bartleby.

Meanwhile, Xander talks a horse into kicking his ass through the side of the barn. Extricating himself from the cloud of dust and splintered boards, he clutches his swollen tush and declares the experience, 'Awesome!!!'

-Close by are the 'Small Carnivores'; Xander's favorite area. Not all the animals here are actually carnivorous, it's essentially a place for all the 'miscellaneous' furry critters to hang out. The cubs catch a glimpse of a timid, reclusive tree kangaroo as she catches forty winks in a treetop. They watch as a feline family plays with the aardvark and anteater. The wolverines are frisky and like to playfully run up and bite visitors, as Bartleby finds out when one of the little ones nips his tail.

And then there are the foxes. They all rush over, barking happily, and surround Xander like a favorite uncle come to visit. Just as Bartleby has had a special moment with his predecessors, Xander sits with the little foxes and feels a deep fulfillment inside. Red, Arctic, Grey, Kit and Fennec, the multicolored little furballs romp about Xander and lick him all over with their tiny tongues. He comes here often, and always stays a while to play with them and chase them about their small stony enclosure. Bartleby and the girls join Xander, and soon all of them are laughing and running about, having lots of fun play-hunting with the energetic little canines. And even though Terry is a fox in form only, more closely related to a couch than a canine, he nevertheless feels a poignant sense of homecoming as he and Bartleby frolic with his kin.

* * *

Xander and Lexi seemed to have boundless energy for running around chasing and being chased by the little foxes, but Bartleby was starting to feel just a little bit tired. He looked up from the stony enclosure and noticed a little grassy patch a few feet away, with a wide, shady tree in the center. A just-right place for stopping a bit to rest.

"I'm gonna go sit over there for a little bit," he called out to the others.

Xander stopped dead in his tracks (a young grey fox bumping into him as he did so), and his ears drooped. "Oh. Um, you getting sick of this already? I guess we could move on."

Quick to quell his friend's disappointment, Bartleby held up his wings. "No, no! I'm just a little tired. I just wanna sit down for a bit. You guys keep on playing, I don't mind."

Xander and the girls nodded in understanding. Some of the foxes who had become quite fond of their new interesting-smelling grey friend nuzzled at his calves and made little 'Awww, stay and play some more!' arfs.

Bartleby chuckled and reached down to give them all lots of pets and skritches. "Don't worry. I'll come back someday soon and we can play some more, okay?"

Having tiny little attention spans anyway, the kits accepted this and ran back to play with their other furry friends.

As Bartleby made his way across the foxes' habitat, he noticed two things. One was an odd little box on a post at the edge of the enclosure that he decided to check out. The other was that Gillian was following him.

When he crawled up past the short concrete dip back out onto the zoo path, Bartleby saw that the box was like a small vending machine. It had a silver knob and a big yellow label reading: FEED THE FOXES!

Gillian came up next to him. "What's that thing do?"

He shrugged. "Dunno. Let's find out." When he turned the knob, a hatch opened up, and Bartleby was startled when a little live white mouse tumbled out into his outstretched wingpalm! She gave him a jaunty smile and a wave.

Gillian giggled. "I get it. You're the fox chow, aren't you?" she asked the mouse.

The little rodent beamed proudly.

Bartleby looked down, and noticed one of the red foxes was sitting patiently nearby, looking up at him expectantly, tail wagging. The mouse peeked over Bartleby's hand and squeaked in anticipation.

The young bat wasn't exactly sure what to feel about this. He'd never fed a living creature to another one before. And while he knew the mouse was obviously eager for this, he wasn't sure if he really wanted to, in a sense, be her executioner.

Gillian, on the other hand, loved the idea. "Oh, Bartleby, give her to me!" she asked eagerly. Bartleby handed the soft little cottonball to her. She grinned kittenishly. Approaching the fox, she held out her paw with the mouse resting leisurely upon it. The hungry fox kit opened his mouth. Gillian tipped her paw forward just enough for the excited mouse to slide right in, just like going down a waterslide. The fox felt his happy prey land comfortably in his belly. He licked his lips and barked happily, giving the calico girl's paw a grateful nuzzle.

Bartleby had watched with wide eyes. Even despite becoming a snake's lunch earlier, it still struck him as odd to watch prey so eagerly accepting their fate. It was a feeling that would probably stick with him for a long, long time, and he was beginning to understand that the reason it wasn't going away was because every time he saw something like this, it reminded him starkly of the differences between Hell and Earth. He thought again about the snake and the rat he'd seen in the pet shop. How that scene had filled him with horror when he was little. And yet watching the mouse slip serenely inside the fox just now had sent tingles of excitement up his own spine too. The contrast between such images would probably always haunt Bartleby with a single, blunt question; Why had life on earth been so brutal and filled with pain and tears? Being in this paradise of friendship now made him see how cruel his past life had been, in all its stark, heartless reality.

After Gillian had popped out another little mouse from the machine to gulp down herself (the rodent in question did not mind a bit, so long as she ended up in a nice, warm tummy), she looked up and noticed the pensive expression on her bat friend's face. Gillian had good instincts, and guessed correctly that he was thinking about the life he'd left behind on Earth.

She padded silently over and gave him a tickly caress with her tail. He jumped, but gave her a smile afterward. "Whatcha thinkin' about?" she asked.

"Just... stuff," he said softly. Today was supposed to be a happy one. He didn't want to bog it down with a long, depressing talk about life and death and suffering. He did, however, want to go sit down in the shade with the pretty calico at his side. He glanced over to the grassy spot and asked Gillian wordlessly if she'd join him.

Her smile said she'd had that in mind anyway. She placed her paw on his and followed him.

The grass was slick and slippery and cool. Bartleby eased himself down onto it, resting his back upon the coarse bark of the tree behind him. He let out a sigh of relief. It wasn't that his feet were hurting or his muscles were aching (he hadn't felt anything like that since his arrival), just that there were only so many sights and sounds you could take in in a single day. You had to sit back and give your brain time to catch up once in a while.

Gillian sat down beside Bartleby and skootched her butt over to playfully bump his. She giggled and took hold of his wing again.

He looked over and saw that her eyes were half-lidded with sensual ideas. She wanted to take a time-out too, but she wanted to spend it in some naughty cuddling with her bat friend. His smile grew. He didn't mind switching his plans to match hers.

The pretty kitten leaned over to touch her moist nose to her bat friend's cheek. "I don't think I've ever told you yet, but I think your feet are really cute, Bartleby," she said softly, somewhat out of the blue.

He was mildly surprised. He looked down at his furless, handlike feet and wiggled his long toes. "Really?" he said, slightly in disbelief. "I've never really thought... I mean, I've always kinda thought they were ugly," he admitted.

She gave him a 'that's nonsense!' kind of a snort and began skootching herself down the grass, closer to his paws. "Bartleby, I think I've gotten to a point where I don't find *anything* ugly anymore. 'Ugly' is just some made-up idea. Anything can be beautiful if you decide to see it that way." She traced one padded finger along the young bat's left sole, and he shivered in enjoyment.

Bartleby sat up, watching her. "That's a really wonderful sentiment," he said sincerely.

She nodded. "Partly I started thinking that way when I realized that, when most other people look at a full garbage can, they go 'yuck!'. But when I look at one, I get all happy, and to me it's one of the prettiest sights ever." She giggled a little bit. She took Bartleby's feet in her paws and started gently rubbing them. "And partly, well, it's because of my glasses. I really like 'em, and that's why I still wear them. I could just wish for my eyes to be better, but I think I look better with my glasses."

"You do," Bartleby was quick to agree. "They look perfect on you! They make you look smart and really cute."

She gave him a warm smile. "Thanks! And that's just what I mean. You think my glasses are pretty, but a lot of other kids at my old Earth school didn't. They said I looked like a nerd. And I thought about how weird it was that about half of the people I knew liked 'em, and the other half didn't. I started thinking that maybe *nothing* is pretty or ugly on its own, it's just how we choose to see it. Am I making any sense?"

"Oh, yeah, totally," Bartleby reassured. "Like that whole thing about beauty being in the eye of the beholder. I get it."

"Okay." The little cat began to stroke her thumbs over her bat friend's soles, enjoying the differentness of his paws. "Even if you think they're ugly, I still like your feet. They look useful. You can hang upside down by 'em right?"

A nod.

"For a really long time? And they don't start to hurt after a while?"

A shrug. "Nope."

"See, that's cool. I wish my paws could do that."

"Well, yours are cool too. Cats have those nifty little claws," he said.

She grinned. "That's right, we do..." She popped out a single nifty little claw and ran it tantalizingly along his sole, making him squirm and burst out laughing.

"Don't! Please! I'm way too ticklish there!" he cried with a great big smile on his face.

She giggled and crawled up beside him again, wrapping her arms around her handsome bat. "Okay, I'll stop. I'd rather hug anyway."

"Me too." Tenderly, he embraced her with his wings. As he looked into her gorgeous green eyes, it struck him as interesting how it seemed to matter so little that, just a while ago, he'd been cuddling with another boy. As Bartleby was learning about himself, gender didn't mean nearly as much to him as personality. The fact that Xander was a boy and Gillian and Lexi were girls mattered about as much to them as their hair color, at least in terms of how much he loved them.

Gillian snuggled even closer. She wrapped her leg over Bartleby's, touching his feet with hers, feeling the flutter of her fur brushing delightfully against his skin. She looked up to him, her eyes kittenishly curious. Her voice changed to a very timid whisper. "Um, you know... We haven't yiffed yet, Bartleby..."

"Gosh, you're right! I hadn't even realized," he admitted, feeling a bit of shame. "I've just been so busy having fun doing other stuff with you. You know, going to the dump and things like that. It just hadn't crossed my mind yet."

"But you want to, right?" she asked, her eyes letting a little bit of worry leak through.

"Oh, of course!" he reassured. He leaned in and softly kissed her forehead.

"Right now?" she purred.

Surprised, but in a happy way, Bartleby smiled at her. "Sure..." he whispered.

In agreement now, the two young furs wished their clothes away. Their garments disappeared like sugar dissolving in water. Gillian tossed her glasses aside. Bartleby slipped Terry off from around his neck and set him aside in the grass. Through gesture alone, the foxcamera asked if he should keep on taking pictures. 'Lots of them!' Bartleby conveyed with a grin.

Gillian noticed the camera too and liked the idea even more. She thought about how fun it would be to sit with Bartleby later on and look at the photos of their lovemaking together. Of course, in order for that to happen, there had to be lovemaking in the first place. With a soft paw, she turned Bartleby around and pressed him to her, placing a kiss on his lips.

Bartleby drifted closer into the kiss, his nose tickling hers as they smooched. He felt her tiny nipples poking his fur. He could smell her feline scent of yiffiness. He loved feeling loved by her.

She felt just the same. Having been so lonely for so long, having so few friends that understood her, Bartleby was like a knight in shining armor, come to save her from sadness forever by bringing open-mindedness and understanding into her life. That first day when they'd met, he'd said he'd fallen out of a random portal into her magic dumpster. She felt sure now that there had been nothing random about that portal at all. It brought them together because it knew they needed each other.

A contented vibration passed through Bartleby's body: Gillian's purr. Her tail swayed lazily behind her and her joyful rumble passed through both their warm bodies. She put her arms around him, pulling him close, laying her muzzle on his shoulder. "Love me," she quietly pleaded.

Always eager to make her happy, and already hard anyway from her wonderful kitty scent, Bartleby shifted himself around until his maleness touched her soft place. She cooed, and he murred. Bartleby pressed forward. She accepted him warmly.

Slowly, they began to yiff. This was a completely different experience from 69ing with Xander in the pool. With Xander, and Lexi too, yiffing was energetic and full of playful laughter. And that was good and fun of course. But it was also nice to not rush things. To not hurry. To not even care about cumming. To just lie side-by-side with this pretty kitten he cared about and make her feel good while she made him feel good too.

Fur, slick with sun-sweat, brushed silently together as the two cubs made love. They both had deep, satisfied smiles on their muzzles. They couldn't see this, of course, as their eyes were shut tight, but they both knew they were there nonetheless. The cubs made little cute sounds of pleasure as they shifted and rubbed and pressed their young bodies together. Concentrating all on their sense of touch. Feeling every secret place.

Gillian's honeypot welcomed Bartleby like an eager, kissing mouth. He gasped silently as he pushed his young cock into and out of her warmth. Unhurriedly, lingeringly. As if they both were in slow motion. Gentle and savoring. Appreciating the moment.

After an indeterminable length of time, Gillian let out a high-pitched mew and came. Bartleby felt her slick honey pouring down over his penis and into his fur. The smell of her bliss excited him. He gave her a long, slow push, feeding as much of himself into her as he could, until he was completely engulfed by her kittyhole. Gillian came twice more, in quick, sprightly succession.

Bartleby's breath stopped, and his climax hit too. A warm splash of bat love filled her tunnel. Gillian let out a loud, long joyful meow and crushed him to her in an enthusiastic hug.

Slowly, they reentered reality and opened their eyes.

She smiled at her handsome, chivalrous bat. "Thank you, Bartleby."

"I love you, Gillian," he replied.

As they kissed once more, their two friends, and about two dozen highly-yiffy foxes, looked on in a haze of love. You could practically see little cartoon hearts drifting up from the bunch...

"Awwwww..."

* * *

Though Xander did his best to plan the day out as wisely and efficiently as he could, there were simply some places they just didn't have time to visit. They had to be content with looking around as they passed things by, and reminding themselves to linger more next time.

They passed a prairie dog village with dozens of the adorable little rodents popping in and out of holes in the ground, sometimes being caught and gently swallowed by other visitors.

They passed an expansive green area where zebras ran at top speed, their hooves thudding like thunder, their stripes flashing past like lightning.

They passed a fence where a family of furs were looking around in puzzlement, trying to figure out if there were any animals here, when suddenly an ostrich darted out and ate the father's hat.

They passed a sandy area where a contented old rhinoceros was giving a dozen grinning, cheering children a lumbering ride on his back.

They passed a pond where hundreds of colorful birds of many different species swam about to cool off, and Bartleby was startled by the peacocks' seeming cries of 'Help! Help!'.

The afternoon sun was just beginning its descent towards the horizon (though, of course, it was only an illusion. Time zones fluctuated insanely from place to place in Hell). The furry foursome had finally reached the opposite end of the zoo, and as they ascended a small hill, the last animal on their list came into view. One they had all been looking forward to meeting very much.

* * * * *

~~~Chapter Eight~~~

They are regal and immense, dwarfing the rhino and tiger in bulk, and nearly competing with the giraffes in height. They are ugly, and yet beautiful. They are powerful, and yet incredibly gentle.

The elephants glanced over as four little furs approached, all with gaping mouths and wide open, awestruck eyes.

Bartleby had never actually seen a nonev elephant anywhere but on TV before. He'd come across a few bipedal ones here and there. Once, as a small child, he'd even sat next to an elephant family on a bus. Both he and their daughter had stared at one another with the shamelessness of the very young, and both had thought the other was one of the most fascinatingly-shaped fursons they'd ever seen.

But that experience paled to this one. He had no idea *any* animal could possibly be this big.

There were a family of them. The two little ones were over on the other side of their gigantic, jungle-like habitat. They ran around like typical kids, playing tag with their trunks. The mother was standing a ways away, watching them casually, munching on some hay. The father however, was standing Right There in front of the four cubs, as if he'd been expecting them.

"Wowww..." Bartleby said breathlessly.

Xander, ever the tactful lad, blurted out. "Damn, he's hung like a *battleship cannon*!!"

Lexi rolled her eyes and punched him on the arm. "You are the gayest fox in the entire world," she teased.

"Naw, I just know what I like," he replied casually.

The foursome stepped off the walkway and carefully made their way through the leafy plantlife that encircled the elephants' domain. Bartleby just gazed up and up at that tiny little eye that was watching him carefully, obviously amused and flattered at the boy's reverence. He hadn't seen this little bat before, or his calico companion, but the fox and hyena were frequent visitors. He remembered playing with them before.

Lexi padded over and gave the big guy's leg a hug. She could just barely touch her fingertips together if she stretched really hard. She rubbed her cheek on the warm grey skin and sighed contentedly. "You are just too cool," she told him. The elephant, pleased with her compliment, ruffled her hair with his trunk.

Bartleby found himself staring at those enormous toenails, realizing this guy could probably squoosh him into a disk with a single mighty stomp, just like in the cartoons. He imagined himself sproinging up afterwards, shaped like a concertina with bat ears. He couldn't resist a giggle at that.

Gillian was also staring at those giant feet. "Ohhh, I've always wanted to be squished by an elephant!" she squealed.

"Really?" Bartleby asked.

"Sure! You know I love getting flattened. This is one way I've never tried. Until now, hopefully." She looked up and addressed the object of her fascination. "Hello, Mister Elephant. Would you mind stepping on me? I'd really appreciate it," she asked as politely as she could.

The elephant chuckled a bit. This was nothing new to him. Little kids were always coming up and asking him to squash them, some of them pitching some surprisingly creative scenarios. A simple trampling was nothing new. The big guy gave Gillian a friendly nod and lifted up one leg.

"Oh, thank you!!" the excited kitty exclaimed. She handed her glasses without looking to whoever was closest (Bartleby) and rushed over. She paused to admire the big sexy foot and ran her paws over it, just imagining the sheer power in it, and how it would soon crush her flatter than a pancake.

The other furs watched in silence. Lexi was just about vibrating in excitement. She'd done this before, and she knew it felt fantastic. Xander had never really been into flattening. He'd tried it, and it just didn't do much for him. To Bartleby, of course, this was yet another totally new situation. It was hard to believe anyone could be so excited over getting turned into elephant toejam, but his own experiences had taught him more than enough times not to knock *anything* until he'd tried it.

With all the tingly anticipation of an astronaut about to shoot for the moon, Gillian laid down in the sand, positioning her face directly underneath that great, flat foot. She straightened herself out, stiff as a board.

'Ready?' the elephant asked with a short, crisp trunk toot.

"Ready!" affirmed Gillian.

The calico's eyes widened and she trembled with joy as the big foot came down, its shadow widening over her, tantalizingly slow. She kept her eyes open the whole time. She nearly came when she felt the hard pad touch the tip of her nose.

And then, *SQUISH*!!!

The other three friends all cringed a bit as Gillian's face suddenly became about a quarter of an inch thick.

When the elephant lifted his foot, everyone could clearly hear Gillian's loud purring. Her face was squashed _flat_, as comically distorted as any saturday morning villain who'd just had a close encounter with an anvil.

Happy to have made the little kitten's day, The elephant backed up a few steps to give her the full experience. He brought his foot down again, and knocked all the air out of her in a long *whoosh*. Then, her purring as loud as ever, Gillian felt her girlplace get tromped, and when her footpaws were squished too, making her whole body paper-thin, she had an absolutely glorious orgasm.

Bartleby, Lexi and Xander all came over to take a peek at their flattened friend. Though she now looked like a cardboard cutout, she also looked as perfectly contented as a kitten could be.

"Gosh, I've never seen her this happy outside of a trash can," Bartleby quipped.

She opened one eye and then stuck her ribbony tongue out at him.

The elephant stepped forward again, lifting his front foot and placing it gently down atop Gillian's face and leaving it there, putting his whole weight upon her. Gillian purred like a diesel engine.

"You know, it's a weird feeling when you're happy to see someone else being really happy, but you have no idea *why* they feel that way," Xander mused. "Personally, I can think of several thousand other things I'd rather do than have an elephant make me two-dimensional."

"Well, everyone's got their own fetishes 'n stuff. Sometimes you can't even explain your own," said Bartleby. "I think I'm starting to realize that asking 'why' is kinda pointless," he said thoughtfully.

"Oh, definitely," the fox agreed straightaway. "I'm not looking down Gillian or anything. Just kinda curious about what she gets out of it."

Gillian merely continued to purr, loving all that weight smashing her even flatter.

"Would you be willing to try that though?" Lexi asked Xander.

He considered it. "Maybe not today, but yeah, I guess. I know it wouldn't hurt. Might be a little uncomfortable tho'."

"Hey, I didn't think I'd like being snakefood," Bartleby said.

Xander nodded. "Well, I have tried flattening before, but you've got a point. It might be different this time."

Lexi grinned. "Oh, admit it, you'd rather have that gigantic elephant whammadoodle up your butt, right?"

Xander actually hadn't even considered that idea. Until now. His eyes went wild. "Dare I dream...?" he uttered melodramatically.

The elephant looked over at him with a look and shrug that said, 'Nothin' new to me if you wanna try it...'

The impossibly horny little fox grinned like a madman. "Really? Holy shit!" He ran right over between the elephant's legs and bent over. "Please, please, please!" he whimpered, wagging his tail.

Having this tiny little fox, whose whole body was probably only half the length of his tool, begging to be screwed under the tail was a rather amusing experience for the weathered old elephant. He had indeed yiffed furries before, but the sheer enthusiasm of this little pup was impressive.

Bartleby was staring in disbelief. "He's not really gonna..."

Lexi was stifling guffaws behind her paws. "He is! He totally is! This is *so* Xander! He's gonna get ripped to shreds!"

The pudgy little fox was perfectly aware of that, and was even looking forward to it! He'd mentioned to Bartleby once that he'd been yiffed by a nonev horse before, and he'd felt his insides being churned to mush that time. And the ejaculation had nearly blown his head clean off! He couldn't *begin* to imagine what he'd gotten himself into now!

Sighing whimsically at the absurdity of the situation, but always willing to make a young cub happy, the elephant gave a mighty thrust, and just hoped the fox kit was positioned correctly.

The elephant's aim was remarkably accurate. The head of that mammoth member slammed into Xander's tush with the force of a freight train, driving the little fox's face into the dirt, and causing him to bellow out an impressive cavalcade of swearwords; followed quickly by "Again! Again!!"

The elephant imagined that this must be what it was like for bipedal furries to put a condom on. Nearly chuckling out loud, he thrust forth again, feeling himself sink into flesh that just barely stretched enough to accommodate him.

Xander felt his pelvis shatter like a Saltine. He let out a long howl of yiffy delight and felt his body stretch and contort to wrap around the gigantic meat invader. On the third push, the cock was almost in his throat, and Xander was in heaven. The little horndog had never had a dick this big inside him, and doubted he ever would.

Bartleby gaped, jaw hanging open like a door knocker. Xander's body was so grotesquely stretched out of shape, he looked like his fur was mere seconds away from splitting at the seams. His fox friend's limbs hung limply, his insides were undoubtedly reduced to strawberry jam. His tongue hung out and his eyes looked a little dazed. "Xander? You okay? Are you even still alive?"

"I'm fine!" Xander squeaked.

"Do you think lube would have made any difference?" Lexi asked wickedly.

"I think most of me *is* lube now," he replied, getting chuckles in response.

"Well, my turn," Lexi said lightly. She skipped over to face the elephant. "That is, if it's okay with you, sir," she added charmingly.

'Oh, alright,' he said with a soft grunt. 'And what would you like?'

"Do you think you could sit on me?" Lexi asked eagerly.

'These sure are some weird kids,' the elephant thought bemusedly. But, hey, this was Hell, and weird was normal. So, what the here? He nodded to Lexi and pointed behind him with his trunk.

"Weeee!" Lexi shouted girlishly as she ran around to his rump. She gazed up at his big grey butt and squealed with glee. There was something so fun about doing incredibly naughty, dirty stuff like this!

Bartleby walked over to her, and could not quite understand the appeal of being splatted by an ass weighing several tons. And not smelling too rosy, either, he realized. "Well, uh, have fun," he told Lexi.

The happy hyena gave him a hug, and he felt her stiff little girlcock poking him in the leg. "Hey, since I've got the butt, Gillian's got the foot and Xander's got the cock, why don't you take the belly?"

"Huh? I thought elephants were herbivores," Bartleby said.

"Well, sure, normally. But I'm sure he'll eat you up if you ask nicely. I saw him eat Xander once a while ago. He said it was pretty neat."

The little bat shrugged. "That sounds okay, I guess. Thanks for the idea," he said, and hugged her again.

"You're welcome." She gave him a kiss, then pushed him lightly away. "Now stand back, unless you wanna get butt-squished too!"

"I don't think so," he said, taking her advice and backing up to a safe distance.

The elephant swished his tail and trumpeted. 'All ready back there?'

"Go for it!" Lexi shouted. She held herself perfectly still, muzzle pointed upwards, a big grin on her face.

Momentarily taking his foot off Gillian (which disappointed her a little), The elephant backed up and slowly, carefully sat down on the little hyena girl.

However, what neither of them expected was that Lexi had positioned herself in exactly the right spot to become a living, furry buttplug. With a truly disgusting sound accompanying the following thud, Lexi was swallowed right up the elephant's stinky tailhole just seconds before his behind crashed to the ground.

Worried the poor girl would be in a panic, the elephant got up as quickly as he could. He'd squished and splattered hundreds of cubs here at the zoo, but he was always, *always* careful to go only as far as they wanted.

Bartleby could not believe his eyes. Once the elephant was back on his feet again (and back on Gillian as well), he spotted two wiggling brown paws sticking out of his anus. "Eeeew!" he exclaimed.

The elephant let out a loud 'I'll have you out of there in a second, little girl!' bellow.

But to his surprise, Lexi loudly replied, "Don't bother!! This is even better than I hoped for!!"

"You're the weirdest girl I know!" laughed Bartleby in disbelief.

"Thanks!" Lexi shouted back proudly. She then proceeded to wiggle herself all the way in. Her paws disappeared into the puckered hole. "Ahhhh, stinky!" she said with naughty glee. "Hope you don't mind me being in here," she told the elephant.

'Not a problem! Feels okay to me,' he replied.

Anal vore was something Bartleby had heard about, but didn't think he'd ever actually see firsthand. It was also something he didn't think he'd ever be trying himself, no matter how long he spent in the abyss. But if Lexi was happy in there, that was all that mattered, he supposed.

Bartleby walked around to the front of the elephant. Gillian was smooshed, Xander was now a giant furry prophylactic, and Lexi was warm and snuggly in the world's stinkiest sleeping bag. It seemed it was his turn.

The elephant turned his head to Bartleby. 'I assume there's something you'd like me to do for you too?' he asked with his gaze.

"Um, well, Lexi suggested I let you eat me. I got eaten before today, and it was really fun, so why not? If you don't mind, of course."

He let out a rumbling chuckle. 'Not a bit. I enjoy making little ones like you happy, no matter what they enjoy. I'd be happy to eat you up."

Bartleby smiled politely. "Okay. Thanks!"

'You're welcome. And I've never eaten a bat before, so it'll be a new experience for me too.'

The little bat nodded and stepped closer. He gave the elephant's foreleg a hug. Then he stepped back and wrapped his wings tightly around himself. "Okay, go ahead."

The elephant's strong trunk swam through the air towards Bartleby and wrapped itself around him like an enormous hand. Actually, it felt surprisingly similar to the boa constrictor's coils. Loops of hard muscle, gently squeezing his small body.

The elephant lifted his young friend up in the air, giving him an amazing view of the zoo grounds. "Wow, I can see all the way to the reptile house from here!" Bartleby gasped.

Then he looked down, and saw that wide-open triangular mouth waiting for him. The trunk lowered him slowly and carefully down between the two giant tusks, headfirst this time. Bartleby shivered a bit, but was excited too. Even from here, he could feel the heat of the great animal's breath.

The little bat giggled when the elephant gave him a playful lick with his long tongue. 'You taste good,' he said with a low rumbling laugh.

"Thank you!" Bartleby said. "I hope I make a nice snack for you."

'I'm sure you will, little one. See you later! Toodles!' With that, Bartleby was plunged headfirst into that hot mouth.

The dampness was the first sensation, then the smell. It was strong, but not awful. And, like most bad smells he encountered nowadays, he found himself getting used to it almost immediately. Bartleby kept his eyes shut tight as that rough tongue licked his face up and down.

The trunk pushed him in a bit farther, and Bartleby felt strong throat muscles take hold of him and begin to pull him down that massive throat. All he could see was a wall of glistening red, which changed suddenly to total blackness.

The elephant gulped his young companion down at a leisurely pace. He tasted the wiggly little boy all over, and found him much more palatable than his usual dry fare. He thought that cubs made a very nice occasional dessert. And, of course, the best part was knowing he could make them so happy. That his body, which seemed perfectly normal and ordinary to him, could make them feel such awe, and he could delight them with such simple requests as stepping on them for a bit, or eating them up. (Or, screwing them silly, he mentally added, feeling Xander twitch and murr on his cock)

Bartleby moaned softly and smiled as he slid down inside almost entirely and felt the elephant's tongue tickling his feet. He heard his laugh muffled by the hot, wet throat surrounding him. When his new friend was through tasting him, one more strong gulp sent the little bat gliding on forward to splash down in a humongous stomach.

Bartleby sat up and reached out his wings. He could extend them nearly halfway before touching the sides. This was the biggest stomach he'd ever been in, by far! He could pretty much lie down and stretch his legs, and so he did.

The little bat felt warm and cozy in here. He was smiling deeply. It had been a more fulfilling experience than he'd imagined. There was something intangible about letting himself become food for such a massive creature. As if he was no more than a morsel, something whose only purpose was to be gulped down and digested. It made him feel small, yes, but also needed.

Bartleby sighed softly, feeling a sudden contentment flow through him. He felt that same safe feeling again, although now it was even stronger. He supposed it might have had something to do with being held by his mom when he was a baby. Mrs. Schaddenfreude had taught them a few days ago how many fetishes were rooted in early childhood experiences. Maybe curling up in a nice cozy belly like this reminded him of clinging to his mommy's warm fur.

That thought struck him as being not only poetic, but probably true, too. Even though he was sitting in a pool of stomach acid, it didn't hurt a bit. It just tingled gently, and he could already feel his fur falling out where it touched him. He could feel his legs and bottom just beginning to soften up. He thought this time he would go all the way and get digested. He didn't think he was quite ready to meet Lexi on the way out, but he thought it might be nice to wait till he'd been completely broken down into nutrients before he teleported out of here.

Bartleby laid back in the slowly churning acid and let out a sigh of relaxation. He rested his cheek on a fold of flesh. Getting good and comfortable, he let himself begin to daydream...

* * * * *

~~~Chapter Nine~~~

When Bartleby finally emerged, the first thing he noticed was that the sky had gone a deep reddish orange. He couldn't hear nearly as many other fursons wandering around anymore. The park was probably getting ready to close.

He yawned. "Gosh, how long was I in there anyway?" he asked himself.

'Quite a while,' the elephant told him.

Bartleby turned around, and gave his big friend a warm smile. He came closer and gently hugged the elephant's trunk. "Thank you. That was really, really nice." He gave the wrinkled skin a soft noseleaf nuzzle.

The elephant could tell that this little bat had been deeply affected by the experience. He sensed a profound calmness had come over the boy now, and felt glad to have given him such a feeling. 'You're welcome. And you were very delicious, too.'

Bartleby chuckled.

'Your friends are over there waiting for you,' the elephant pointed out with his trunk.

Bartleby blushed with embarrassment. "Oh, gosh! I hope they won't think I'm a jerk!" he worried.

'If they're true friends, they won't,' the elephant said wisely. He gave Bartleby a gentle pat on the back with his trunk. 'Go on, little guy. And come back soon. I'd love to have you as a guest in my belly again.'

"Me too," said Bartleby. He gave the elephant one more hug, then ran off to find his friends.

* * *

As it turned out, Xander, Lexi and Gillian hadn't been waiting all that long, and they didn't mind the wait either. When Bartleby came puffing up, apologizing for letting the time get away from him, they all gave him hugs and told him it was okay. They were happy he'd enjoyed his experience so much. Plus, they'd passed the time with a very exciting little public threesome, so it was all good. Bartleby chuckled, and was glad that Gillian had become such good friends with the other two in just one afternoon.

The zoo was actually open all the time, it just got considerably quieter after dark. Still, Xander said, nighttime was a nice time to visit. A lot more of the nocturnal animals were out and about. And if you were in a yiffy mood, there were even more interesting opportunities open to you than in the daytime. Bartleby found that thought intriguing, and made a mental note to ask the randy little fox for more details later.

Since they'd pretty much seen everything they'd set out to see, and since it was getting dark anyway, the four friends decided to call it a day. There was just one more stop left to make.

After a brief interlude at a tiki-hut-themed mini-restaurant for some sodas, Bartleby and his friends got in line to ride the zoo's miniature train. He thought it was a great idea, not only because the little train just looked cool, but also because he was certain he wasn't the first visitor in the zoo's history to dread having to walk all the way back to the entrance again. Even flying would be too tiring. Despite not having the same aches and soreness that would normally come with a day like this back on Earth, he was just too tired in general. It had been an amazingly full day, and Bartleby was fairly sure he'd be going to bed early tonight.

While the four cubs sat and waited for the train to arrive, Bartleby gave his furry camera a pat. "How'd you like getting eaten by an elephant, Terry?"

The little plush shivered in delight. He wiggled his ears and made happy whirring sounds.

Bartleby laughed. "I'll bet you got some great pictures too, huh?"

Terry made as close to a 'You bet!' noise as he could.

The little bat gave his favorite plushie a nuzzle. "What a good boy."

* * *

The train pulled up about seven minutes later, and since the crowd was light and the train was surprisingly long, the four cubs were able to get a car all to themselves near the back.

Each passenger section was shaped like a small, boxy ferris wheel car, with two smooth metal benches facing each other inside. There was plenty of room for six, or eight if everyone really squeezed in. There were no windows, just a golf-cart-like metal roof above them. Everyone could rest their elbows on the sides if they liked.

"You know, that was one of the best days I've had since I got here," Bartleby told everyone.

"That's great," said Lexi. "I think so too. It was fun just getting together, running around with no parents. Not having to worry about what anything costs or about where you can't go."

"Or who you can't yiff," Xander added with a grin.

"How can you still walk, by the way?" Bartleby asked him, and got a good laugh.

Gillian leaned across the narrow aisle to hug both Xander and Lexi. "Thank you guys. Thank you so much for being so nice to me. I haven't felt so welcome with anyone in a long, long time." She sat back and hugged Bartleby also. "That goes for you too, of course," she added with a wink.

"It's cool, Gillian," said Lexi. "You're really nice to be around, and your fur's really pretty too."

The calico blushed. "Really? Thank you! I like your spots." Lexi thanked her as well. "It's just, it's kinda weird for me to make friends so easily, you know? Everyone else I meet thinks I'm weird."

"Well, you are weird," Xander said, smiling, but not joking. "But so are we, and who wants to be normal anyway? Normal sucks."

Bartleby laughed. "Yeah, screw normal! Weirdos unite!"

Lexi was about to add something too, but the train gave a sudden lurch, followed a second later by an almost ear-splitting toot of the whistle. Then, they were off.

The rumble of the engine and the clankety-clank-clankety-clank of the wheels effectively killed off conversation, so everyone dropped their discussion until later. The four furs held on tight to the sides of their wobbly little car. This train was not to be underestimated. It went faster than you'd at first think. Everyone grinned at Bartleby, knowing he was in for a surprise.

Bartleby stuck his face out for a moment to feel the cool air blasting against his fur. He'd always loved that sensation. It brought back memories of flying, and when he was little, Chuck holding him tight and safe in his footclaws, teaching his younger brother how to catch the wind with his wings.

The little train rumbled on at a good clip, passing along the outside edge of the zoo, letting the passengers catch a glimpse of all the things they'd seen before. It was like a ten-minute memory refresher. Terry hoped he could adjust enough for motion blur as he snapped plenty more photos.

"Hey Bartleby!!" Xander shouted.

"What?!"

"Wanna know why they tell you to keep your arms inside at all times?!!"

Lexi rolled her eyes, knowing what was coming. He always did this.

"You're gonna show me, aren't you?!" responded Bartleby.

The little fox nodded, a maniacal grin on his face.

Xander leaned a little over the side of the car. Clankety-clank-clankety-clank. He could see the 'TUNNEL AHEAD' sign coming closer. He wondered if those stains on the edge were from the last time he'd visited.

"Oh, he is *not* gonna..." Gillian muttered.

At just the right moment, Xander jumped out of his seat, leaned halfway over the edge of the car, and stretched his arm out as far as he possibly could. He closed his eyes and bit his lower lip.

And with a tremendous, sickening *WHACK*, three quarters of the little fox's arm were sheared right off.

"Oh my god!!" shouted Gillian.

"That was SWEET!!" yelled Bartleby.

"Eeeeew!" whined Lexi. "You got blood all over my fur! _Again_!!"

Xander was laughing his tail off. He sat back down, gleefully showing off the stomach-turningly twisted remains of his arm. "That took a lot of practice to time just right!!" he hollered over the noise of the wheels.

As the train shot into a low, nearly pitch-black tunnel, the group heard several other boys in the cars in front and behind them cheering for Xander.

When the light reappeared, Xander's paw was back to normal. "I've done that almost every time I've come here! One time I fell over the side and, like, a dozen cars behind me ran me over! More blood than you've ever seen in your life!!" he said with glee.

Bartleby was laughing so hard he nearly added a wet spot to his shorts.

Gillian, after getting over the shock of it, thought it was pretty cool too. She admired the sheer balls of it.

Lexi was playing at being disgusted with her fox friend. "You are a psychopathic idiot!"

Xander leaned over and kissed her. What he said to her then was too quiet for Gillian and Bartleby to hear, but it got a huge laugh from Lexi.

* * *

The train pulled into the station a few minutes later and all the passengers disembarked, every one of them smiling. A few kids even came up and high-fived Xander.

The little fox looked thoughtfully down the track. "Some pigeon's gonna take home a feast tonight," he mused.

Bartleby was about to ask what he meant, then envisioned the little ragged fox paw that was lying in the dirt somewhere back there. "Gross!"

Xander grinned foxily. "Exactly."

Bartleby looked around and noticed they were right back by the front gates again. Lexi came up and pointed out the gift shop. Since no trip to the zoo can be complete without a few totally useless but nifty little knickknacks, Bartleby happily seconded her idea.

A moment's walk later, The young bat found himself in a bustling little emporium that was considerably bigger than he'd at first suspected. Shelves and display cases were just *crammed* with all sortsa cool junk. A plethora of plushies, of pretty much every species they'd seen all day, sat patiently along the far wall, all waiting to be taken home and cuddled. There were oodles of little toys and games and books, and even a wide selection of zoo-themed jewelry, which Gillian gravitated to immediately. Just before heading for the toys, Xander assured Bartleby that everything here was 100% free, so it was okay to grab armfuls of anything that caught his eye.

Bartleby thought that was pretty cool, considering places like this usually had prices so outrageous you'd look at the sticker and suddenly doubt your sanity. The curious bat wandered all around. He picked up a few plushes that seemed to call out to him as he passed by: a little albino bat finger puppet, a seated wolf shaped like a donut, and a large stuffed boa with shimmering plastic scales, which he draped around his neck. He also found some clever little toys and, passing by Gillian, a cool silver ring with a chunk of topaz in it that fit perfectly around his thumbclaw. After nabbing a bag to put all his treasures in, he also picked up a book he spotted; a pictorial history of the zoo, which looked quite interesting.

As he looked over the cover, he noticed something shimmer just beyond the edge of his vision and turned to look. The space on top of the pile of books he'd gotten his copy from was simply gone. Another book had just *appeared* there. Bartleby said 'huh' and looked around, and noticed the empty spaces he'd left when he'd picked out his other souvenirs had also magically filled themselves. Self-restocking shelves! "That's pretty neat," he said to no one in particular.

When he was ready to leave, Bartleby looked down at the bag in his winghands and felt a little greedy. He had taken quite a lot. Maybe he should put something back.

But just then, he bumped into his three friends, and noticed they all had at least double the stuff he did. He chuckled, and felt a little better.

* * *

As the four friends walked out of the gift shop, laden down with trinkets and souvenirs, Lexi noticed a squat little man standing by the gates, seemingly doing nothing more than watching various fursons pass by. "Oh, hey! Guys, we gotta go say hi!!" she shouted.

Xander perked up, obviously knowing the guy as well. Bartleby and Gillian exchanged looks, then followed after the other two.

The man Lexi had spotted was one of the most comically shaped fursons Bartleby had ever seen. It took a moment to realize that he was probably a demon, like Razielphustar. But physically, not like Razielphustar at all really.

He was the shortest, fattest, roundest little man any of them had ever seen. His legs and arms were like giant slugs. His neck was nonexistent. His rough, scaly skin was a bright, bumpy yellow, like some kind of melon or squash. He had on an old fashioned pinstriped suit and little half-moon spectacles, but his most prominent feature was his horns. They easily doubled his height, rising straight up out of the top of his bald head and twisting like a gazelle's.

Lexi ran up and hugged the fat little demon. "Hi, Mr. Manthothlophes!"

Bartleby paused. Where had he heard that name before? It had been recent...

While Xander gave the plump fellow a hug too, Lexi turned around to make introductions. "Bartleby, Gillian, this is Mr. Deutorious Manthothlophes. He runs the zoo."

"Oh yeah, from the plaque outside!" Bartleby suddenly remembered.

"Well hello there, you two!" the pudgy yellow demon said, waddling closer and extending both hands for a shake. "It's an honor to meet you both!"

Bartleby chuckled as he gave the clawed, turtlesque hand a shake. Deutorious' voice was high-pitched and wavering, like he'd recently gulped just a little bit of helium. But it was also very friendly and instantly likeable.

"Newcomers?" he inquired.

"I've been here before," said Gillian, "But he hasn't."

Mr. Manthothlophes turned to Bartleby. "Really now! Well, what did you think of my zoo, young man?" he asked sincerely, as if this little bat's opinion mattered more to him than anyone else's in the world.

Bartleby smiled broadly and said truthfully, "It's the best zoo ever!"

The demon was overjoyed. He jumped up and down and even did a little dance, spinning around on his tiny, stubby legs. At the end of it, he crushed Bartleby to his jiggling tummy in an exuberant hug. "Best zoo ever! What praise! What cause for jubilation! Young man, you have made my day!"

The others couldn't help a laugh. Bartleby was appreciative of such a hearty thank you, but he was also running out of air.

With one last squeeze, Mr. Manthothlophes released his young guest. "I can't tell you how happy I am to know you've enjoyed yourself. Did you all have fun too?" he asked the others.

They nodded yes and said how wonderful everything was, but did it from a safe distance.

The demon let out a long, wistful sigh. "I'm happy. I really am. You know, for about eighty seven thousand years, I was in charge of assigning punishments in the Complete, uh, Rectums level."

None of them could resist a guffaw at his little self-censorship. "Really?" Lexi asked. "You totally don't seem like that type of guy."

"I never was," he said sadly. "Oh, I had a knack for it, definitely. The 'Emperor Of Irony,' they called me sometimes. But coming up with clever ways to hurt people, even if they do deserve it, is not the kinda work that makes you really feel good about yourself at the end of the day."

"I can imagine," Gillian said softly.

"So, one day, I told my boss I was sick and tired of it, and I wanted to quit. And to my overjoyed surprise, he said there was another demon who'd been after my job for a few decades or so, and it was fine with him if I never came in another day! He asked me what I wanted to do instead, and I said I wanted to run a zoo! And hey, here I am!"

Bartleby sensed a 'follow your dreams, kids' type moral coming up, but Mr. Manthothlophes wisely omitted it.

"Anyway, I'm happy, you're happy, the nonevs are happy, everyone's happy! Well, I won't keep you here forever, yammering on like a crazy old duck. Hope I'll see you all back here again real soon!"

"Me too!" said Bartleby, thinking about butterflies and boas and elephants, oh my.

The four friends waved to Mr. Manthothlophes as they walked off towards the gates, when suddenly, his voice stopped them. "Hey! Wait a moment, turn around."

Puzzled, they all did.

Deutorious pointed to Xander. "Are you the kid that keeps shredding his hand off on the train sign every time he comes here?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

'Oh crap. I'm in trouble now,' the little fox thought. "Yes sir," he admitted quietly.

The fat little demon grinned. "Keep it up. It's hilarious."

Not expecting that at all, Xander burst out giggling.

"I've got a box full of 'em in my office!" he kidded.

* * *

The sky had turned from candy orange to a plummy purple by the time the four friends finally walked back out through the main gates. Bartleby noticed it was a different furson in the ticket booth than before. He was a little disappointed, since he'd wanted to ask the other lady how her sandwich had been.

Xander stretched his arms, bags of souvenirs dangling from both paws and a silly foam hat shaped like a flamingo on his head. "I guess that's it then," he said, a little flatly.

Gillian nodded. "Yeah. I guess I'll go home now."

"Is that garbagewoman picking you up again?" Lexi asked.

"No, I'll just take a portal home."

Lexi was an observant girl, and she noticed Gillian seemed sad for some reason. "Where do you live?"

The young calico seemed a bit embarrassed. "Um, in a dumpster. Well, actually, the dumpster's a secret passageway to my room. I live by myself, like Bartleby."

Lexi nodded. Coming home to an empty room after a fun, exciting day like this would make a lot of young furs feel lonely.

Bartleby came over and gave Gillian a soft kiss goodnight. "I'm glad you came with us," he told her sweetly.

"Thanks. Me too," she said, and kissed him back.

Lexi had an idea. "Hey, Xander," she asked, a bit louder than normal, "do you think your mom and dad would mind if I came over for dinner?"

"Uh, no, I guess," he said, then caught on to what she was thinking. He smiled. "Nope, they wouldn't mind a bit. Gillian, you wanna drop by too?"

The kitten's face lit up with surprise. "Sure!"

Bartleby tossed an inquisitive smile in Xander's direction.

The little fox laughed. "You're always welcome, ya big doof!"

The two boys shared a laugh. Headlights passed them by as a silhouetted car glided mellowly out of the parking lot across from them.

"Okay then," said Xander. He extend his pointed finger dramatically. "Portal, sweet portal..." He reached out and tore a hole in the fabric of reality.

Inside, blackness swirled like jelly with starlight sprinkled in its midst.

The four cubs held paws and stepped through together.

* * * * *

~~~Epilogue~~~

Hours later, Bartleby emerged from a completely different portal back into his own bedroom. He'd spent a long time at Xander's house, and now he was tired as heck. He crawled over to his bed and flopped down, exhausted.

To his total surprise, when the four of them had exited the portal from the zoo, it had been Mrs. Schaddenfreude who had greeted them in the doorway of Xander's house. She explained how she'd joined the Oakleys at the day spa, and had then stopped by the house for a little chit chat afterwards (which Bartleby suspected wasn't _just_ chit chat, since Xander's family were just about the yiffiest foxes he'd ever met).

After Lexi called her gramma to make sure it was okay to stay at Xander's for a while, the four little ones all plopped down on the couch and told the three grownups all about their exciting day at the zoo. The Oakleys in turn told a little bit of what they'd done at the spa that day. But not much, since it was considerably less exciting than the kids' story.

Gillian was introduced to Mrs. Schaddenfreude, and the two of them hit it off surprisingly well. A little later on, the kitten whispered in Bartleby's ear that she hadn't gone to school a single day since before she died. She just hadn't seen any reason to, especially since she hadn't had a very cordial experience at her old elementary. But after meeting such a friendly teacher, now she was starting to wonder whether she should ask someone about maybe joining Bartleby's class one of these days. The little bat told her she'd love it in Mrs. Schaddenfreude's class, and if she did decide to enroll, he'd do everything in his power to help her get in. Gillian gave him a great big hug. She said perhaps someday soon she'd be sitting next to him and passing him love notes during class.

Mrs. Oakley had originally planned that night to make Xander into hamburgers for a backyard barbecue, but the little fox told them regretfully he was just too tired to be eaten anymore. The other kids agreed. While normally Xander, Lexi and Bartleby would leap at the chance to be in one of the pretty vixen's recipes, they'd just been squished and swallowed and crushed and snuffed enough for one day. She understood, and they ended up having pizza delivered instead, which worked out just fine for everyone.

After dinner, they'd played a ridiculously entertaining board game that was sort of like charades on amphetamines. Bartleby couldn't remember the name of it now, only that most of the time they were laughing so hard they couldn't breathe, and at one point he'd imitated a duck being run over by a semi.

But now he was home. In his own little cave room, lying on his own comfy bed. He slipped Terry over his head and set him down on his tummy. "I think it's safe to change back now."

Terry seemed to think so too. The little camera shuddered, then began to bubble and stretch. For a moment, he became a weirdly shifting little blob of fur, and then finally settled once more into the form of an adorable stuffed fox. "Oh boy, I can finally *talk* again!" he cried happily as he gave his boy a hug that was a whole day in the making.

"And we can finally hug, huh?" Bartleby said softly, and gave his fuzzy friend a kiss.

Terry nodded and murred.

"So, where'd all the pictures go?" Bartleby asked.

"Ah. Set me down on the computer desk, would you?" he asked craftily.

Not really wanting to get up again, Bartleby did anyway. He plopped down in his little swivel chair and set Terry on the keyboard. "Now what?"

Terry toddled over and pushed the power button. Since this was a special magic computer, it booted up in about three seconds (as opposed to the eternity it takes most normal, unmagical Earth ones). The little plush then unplugged the eyeballish digital camera beside the monitor and looked thoughtfully at the cord. He giggled.

"What's funny?" Bartleby asked.

"Just watch," Terry said with a cute, naughty grin. He sat down on the desk, baring his smooth, fabric crotch to his owner. He concentrated for a moment, and the material began to stretch there. The bump rose and grew and changed, until finally Terry had a little plush penis and ballsac!

"Oh, how cool!" said Bartleby, impressed at such a nifty trick. "They're cute, too!"

The little fox squirmed in happiness. "Thank you very much!" He then took the camera cord in his soft brown paws and positioned the end of it over his dick. With a little vulpine grunt, he shoved it right in!

Bartleby was a bit concerned. "Eep! Didn't that hurt?"

"Nope, not a bit!" Terry said cheerfully, sounding like he'd felt only the opposite of hurt. He began to paw off, his plump toes curling as he squirmed about and made yiffy noises.

Still sleepy, but managing to stave it off enough to watch this fascinating show, Bartleby kept his eyelids open as he watched his plushie friend jerking off with a computer cable stuffed in his cock.

Terry's pace quickened. He was whimpering adorably with each little thrust of his fuzzy hips into his paw. All of a sudden, he let out a yip of joy and climaxed.

As Bartleby watched, a new folder was simultaneously created on the computer and began filling up rapidly with files. Terry was actually *ejaculating* the photos onto the hard drive!

Terry finished downloading and breathed a sigh of relief, like someone who'd just taken a really good dump after holding it in a long time. "Ahhhhhh! Much better!"

Bartleby was amazed. Terry managed to surprise him every single day! "That was really cool!"

The little fox smiled modestly and plugged the webcam back in. "I'm not sure how I knew to do that, it just sorta came to me. It felt really good too! So, how many pictures did I take?"

Bartleby opened the folder and his eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Five hundred and twenty seven?!? Wow, you were busy!"

"That many? Really?" Terry looked and was impressed as well. "Of course, a lot of those are me clicking a whole buncha times at something, hoping to get one really good shot. There's gonna be a *lotta* doubles to look through."

Bartleby nodded, then yawned. "I'll tackle that tomorrow." He reached over and shut the computer down. He scooped Terry up lovingly and went back to the bed. "You did a good job, Terry. It's gonna be fun seeing all the stuff that happened today over again. I'll bet you got a lot of good ones of me getting eaten by that snake!"

"I sure did!" said Terry. "I kinda wish you'd been wearing me when you went in. That looked like it felt really yiffy!"

"It did, definitely," Bartleby chuckled. He gave Terry a soft squeeze and a kiss between his ears. "Good little fox. I'm proud of you."

Terry murred and held his owner tight. Hearing gentle praise like that always gave him a deep sense of fulfillment inside. After all, a plushie's purpose is to give and to receive love.

Bartleby sat Terry down on his pillow and stripped out of his shorts and tank top. He flicked on his red and yellow lava lamp (not a nightlight of course, he told himself), and switched off the overhead one. The little cave bedroom was bathed in warm yellow light, almost like from a campfire.

When Bartleby finally slid beneath the covers, he noticed the note on his bedside table for the first time. Puzzled as to how it had gotten there, he picked it up.

It was written in elegant script, in blood red ink, and as soon as he unfolded it, it began to speak the words upon it aloud, in the charming, resonant voice of the demon who'd written them:

"Dear Bartleby,

"I know it's been a while since we've seen each other, and I'm

very sorry for that. If I were any less busy, we could be together

every day, yiffing and having adventures and whatever else you can

imagine. I overheard you were going to the zoo today. I've got some

free hours tomorrow, so let's meet for breakfast and you can tell

me all about it.

"The hardest workin' Arch-Hellguardian in the abyss;

"Razielphustar D. Mephrolovontastico"

Bartleby set the note aside and grinned.

"But wait," Terry spoke up, "Weren't you going to meet Criss tomorrow morning too?"

Bartleby grinned even more. "Uh huh! This way, Criss can meet Razielphustar, and we can *all* do stuff together!" He was already imagining the naughtiness he and the hunky bat lifeguard and the goofy, romantic squirreldemon would get up to.

Terry chuckled, happy that his boy was happy. He snuggled up to Bartleby and gave him a kiss. "Well, see you in the morning then."

"Goodnight, Terry," the little bat said. He gave his plushie a kiss, and closed his eyes. Soon, fantastic dreams filled his young and satisfied mind.

Terry wiggled carefully out of Bartleby's arms and snuggled down further under the covers. He murred in perfect serenity as he snuggled up to the soft little warm bulge in the bat boy's pajama bottom. He heard Bartleby moan softly, then smile in his sleep. The small plush smiled too. Settling in, getting nice and comfy, he joined his best friend in slumber.

The end

for now...

* * * * *

AUTHOR'S ENDNOTE;

See, I told you this was gonna be weird.

Actually, I had a hell of a lot of fun throwing ideas at this one. My basic concept was, 'No plot; get as silly as possible'.

The zoo in this story is very heavily based on a real place, an actually existing major metropolitan zoo. However, I based it on the zoo I remember as a kid, even though the real one's changed a bit by now. When I was a kid, no matter how crappy things were going in my life, once I was at the zoo, everything was okay. When I could go eat some cotton candy and gasp in delight at all the gorgeous, wonderful animals, I was just about the happiest kid in the world. So, if anyone reading this has an idea of which zoo this is based off of (and really, I've made it pathetically transparent), send me your guess in an email and if you're right, you'll get a prize of some sort (Ask for something reasonable; I have no idea what would make a good prize).

Just so you know, wild hyenas Really Do greet each other by exchanging blowjobs. Really! I saw it in a book at the library. Gosh, wouldn't it be fun to live in a society like that? "Hey, Joe!" "Hey Mel!" *slurp slurp slurp* ;)

Another thing that I belatedly became aware of was that here Gillian says she lives by herself, but on Bartleby's first day, she gets called home from the dump by her adoptive parents. When I realized this, I went WTF?!? I asked Gillian about it, and she explained it thusly: What she'd told Bartleby that first day in the dump had been a lie. In truth, there was an internet friend she wanted to meet in a chatroom then, and she had requested the services of the summoner robot herself earlier in the week, to make sure she'd be on time. She just didn't want to tell Bartleby that then, thinking it would make her seem like a loser. (She did later confess this to him) In truth though, the only reason she had not chosen new parents was simply because she couldn't bear the thought of replacing her real mom and dad, even temporarily. She would rather be by herself, and wait hopefully for the day she'd get to see them again. A perfectly reasonable explanation, if I do say so myself.

One last thing; Deutorious Manthothlophes (pronounced Doo-TOR-ee-us Man-THOTH-lo-fees) was voiced by the incomparable Wallace Shawn, also known as Rex the dinosaur, the Grand Nagus, and that guy who says "Inconceivable!" a whole lot in The Princess Bride.

Hope you had fun, all you out there in reader-land!

Alex Reynard

([email protected])

"Bartleby And The Infernal Menagerie"

Started: May 24th, 2005 Finished: August 3rd, 2005 Editing Completed: September 12th, 2005