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Chapter 14: Healing Magic

Kel lay awake on his back, glad for the paste that had numbed the pain in his body and wishing there was a paste that could numb the pain in his heart. Because of his selfish need to have Zaldon, his son had been raped. How could ever forgive himself? He had risked their very lives just to be in Zaldon's arms again. He sat up against his pillows, hating himself.

It was late in the evening, and Kel knew Lynny's his wife would return from her work in the summer fields in a manner of hours. Lynny was a warrior, of course, and was out on patrol probably at the fields. In these dark times, warriors were on constant watch, sometimes staying out on patrols for several days before they were relieved. So Kel would not be surprised if Lynny did not return that night.

Lynny's daughter Ohana had crept out some time around noon. Kel had closed his eyes and pretended to sleep for her benefit, smiling to himself as she passed carefully out the curtain and reflecting that she and his Kilyan had looked so sweet together. Once Ohana had gone, Kel rose and went to check on his son only to find him still sleeping, his lips curled slightly into a smile. He had wanted to talk to Kilyan, to apologize, to tell his son that he was sorry he had failed him as a father, but now finding Kilyan asleep, Kel had returned to the sleeping furs in the front room and to his own misery.

Perhaps if Loryn had come with them they wouldn't have been attacked. Lone wolves naturally shied away from larger groups. But Loryn had his own failures as a father to make up for. Kel reflected that he could have asked Yzlo to come, but Yzlo was also very busy these days: though Keeno was an excellent warrior, he had an arrogance that was always leading him into trouble, as if the rules were beneath him. And it was not uncommon to find a stern Yzlo reprimanding his son, beating the butt-end of his spear in time with his frantic son's pushups. Yes, Kel was glad that his Kilyan was infinitely more obedient than Keeno. His poor Kilyan. God, how would he forgive himself?

These anxious thoughts running through his head, Kel ran a paw back through his mane and dropped his head back against the wall. He was still sitting up against his pillows when the curtain in the doorway was drawn carefully aside, and the great, hulking figure of a wolf blocked out the rosy dusk. Kel looked around, his ears pricking forward, and his heart leapt to see Zaldon enter the hut.

God, he'd gotten tall! Zaldon used to be seven feet in height. He was now somewhere around eight. His white body was still big with muscles, only somehow more powerfully built than before. He entered the hut and let the curtain fall in place behind him. On his forearms were the leather cuffs of a fully trained sorcerer and there was an earring in his ear. He was pierced! So the customs of the winter village had gotten to him: only winter wolves were pierced. He wore a belt that was dangling with many little pouches, but on his upper arm was the feathered talisman of a warrior. So Zaldon still considered himself a warrior? Or perhaps he wore the talisman because he missed the summer village so dearly.

Zaldon took another step and halted in the firelight. Kel looked into his face and saw the mark of the sorcerer on his forehead. Then he looked into those dark eyes and realized they were gazing sadly at him.

Zaldon smiled, his ears going flat on his head as he said fondly, "Hello, Kel."

Kel couldn't find his voice. How many years had he waited for this moment? This moment when they would look into each other's eyes? And there were so many things he wanted to say to Zaldon, so much he'd meant to say that day sixteen years ago. But now? Now all he could do was smile up at this old friend and hold back tears. He wanted to leap to his feet, wanted to embrace Zaldon, to feel those big arms around him, and suddenly he heard himself choking out,

"Well, don't just stand there! Kiss me, Zaldon!"

Zaldon laughed and knelt down at once. He cradled Kel's head in his big paw and kissed him. Kel put his arms around his neck, clinging to him, prolonging the kiss, and even boldly forced his tongue in Zaldon's mouth. Zaldon's lashes fluttered, he was so startled, but he eagerly accepted this deep kiss and kissed Kel back just as deeply. They were trembling when their lips parted. They touched their foreheads together and smiled into each other's eyes.

"Zaldon, I - I . . ." Kel stammered himself into silence when Zaldon put a thumb on his trembling lip, then kissed him.

"Lie down, Kel," Zaldon said, pressing Kel down on the sheets. "You're weak. I can feel it in your arms -- they can barely hold to me."

Kel realized with a miserable blush that Zaldon was right. He lay back on the pillows again, but could not stop watching Zaldon as the big wolf examined his body with a sad frown. God, Zaldon was just so big and beautiful. It somehow seemed that over the years he had grown more desirable than before. Or maybe it was because Kel hadn't seen him in so long? He did not know. He only knew he was glad to be breathing in that wonderful musk again, that overwhelming smell, and he felt himself stirring just looking at Zaldon's hard body.

"Lynny told me you'd been beaten, but damn," said Zaldon sadly. His dark eyes traced over the angry bruises in Kel's side: the fur was pushed at awkward angles where the bruises darkened the scalp underneath.

"I'm going to do some things to you," Zaldon said quietly, "to heal these bruises. And it's going to hurt . . . badly. I can give you something to bite on --"

"I bet you could," Kel teased, eying Zaldon up and down.

Zaldon laughed. "You sound like Loryn," he said, rummaging through the bags on his belt now. "How is Loryn? Still fucking everything that moves?"

"Not as much as he used to."

Zaldon shrugged. "Ah, well. We're all getting old enough to slow down, I suppose."

"What about you?" Kel whispered, watching as Zaldon pulled a bit of cloth from a pouch now. He was anxious to see Zaldon's dark eyes grow sad.

"There's nothing to say about me," Zaldon answered quietly. Then turning to Kel, he offered the wad of cloth. "Bite down on it," he said, "and hard."

Kel took the cloth in his mouth, wandering what Zaldon was about to do to him. He watched as Zaldon's paws hovered over his body, as if he was feeling for something without really touching. Then Zaldon closed his paws over the first bruise, and Kel choked on the wad of cloth. It hurt more than anything he'd ever felt in his life! Soon, tears were coursing down his cheeks, and he was heaving so hard on sobs that the wad of cloth was all but at the back of his throat. He heard Zaldon whispering some encouragement, and then his paws closed on another bruise and it happened again. Kel shuddered with muffled moans, trying not to move though he so desperately wanted to get away.

When it was over, Kel spit the cloth from his mouth and rolled onto his side, sobbing fiercely into his arm. He felt Zaldon rest his big paw carefully on his head, and then Zaldon was stroking his ears.

"Magic sometimes hurts," Zaldon whispered. He curled against Kel and gathered him to his chest. "Even healing magic."

Kel sobbed himself into silence. Then realizing he was in Zaldon's arms, that his forehead was resting against Zaldon's chest, he gave Zaldon's hard chest a soft kiss. And then, feeling himself stir, he closed his lips over Zaldon's nipple and gave it a slow, wet suck. He felt Zaldon's cock flinch a little against him and would have continued, but Zaldon said miserably,

"Don't do this, Kel."

Kel looked up at him, astonished. "Why not?" he demanded. "Don't pretend that you haven't thought of this for years, that you haven't dreamed of me --"

"Kel --"

"Don't pretend you don't want this!" Kel said over him and he grabbed Zaldon's dick and stroked it.

Zaldon shuddered, and his arms around Kel were a trembling wall. "I do want it, Kel," he moaned, dropping his lips against Kel's mane. "But . . . I can't."

Zaldon sat up, turning his back to Kel. Kel rose up behind him and put his arms around him. He kissed Zaldon tenderly on his cheek, on his ears, but Zaldon only closed his eyes and looked miserable.

"Why can't you?" Kel whispered in Zaldon's ear.

"Because you'll just leave me again, Kel," Zaldon growled in exasperation. "Because I can never really have you, because having you for these few moments and then having you snatched away another sixteen years is torture -- don't you see what you do to me?" Zaldon demanded. He shot up from the furs and said in a trembling voice, "You shouldn't have come here!"

It was just as Kel had feared. Zaldon was refusing this, Zaldon was turning him away. Again. He watched Zaldon going out of the door, but suddenly he had had enough. He shot up from the sheets, no matter that his sides were still aching, and he blocked Zaldon's path in the doorway. Zaldon was astonished: he didn't think Kel had the strength to do it. And Kel looked so menacing standing there in the doorway, his paws holding him up in the frame, his head bowed, his eyes rolled up, his chest heaving.

"Kel! Lie down! You're going to hurt yourself --"

"No!" Kel snarled. "I want you to look at me! This is what I endured to come here and see you because I love you --"

Zaldon winced at the words. "Don't say that --"

"I love you!" Kel insisted angrily, then he cried out at a sudden pain in his side and collapsed forward. Zaldon caught him, gathered him into his arms, and carried him back to the sleeping furs beside the fire.

"Kel, you fool," Zaldon growled, his eyes glistening with tears. He laid Kel down on the furs and suddenly he was kissing him all over his face and hissing in-between the kisses, "You fool! You shouldn't have come! I could kill you for letting yourself get hurt like this!"

Kel caught Zaldon's lips to his and pulled him down on top of him. "Oh, Zaldon, I want you -- I've wanted you so long --"

"Oh, Kel," Zaldon moaned, kissing Kel's lips again. His big body was trembling as he closed his paw over Kel's, tangling the fingers lovingly. "I'll never be free of this, will I? This love for you! Damn you!"

Zaldon's kisses became fierce, and Kel responded to them, wrapping his arms around the bigger wolf's neck, kissing him back as fervently. And then Kel felt himself pulled up into Zaldon's arms, pulled up in Zaldon's lap. And as they continued kissing hungrily, Zaldon's cock throbbed painfully hard against him. Kel reached between them and started stroking Zaldon, and Zaldon gave a little sigh through their kissing.

Kel fondled Zaldon eagerly. Not since the last time he'd been with Zaldon had he known a cock this big, this thick and this strong. He gave Zaldon's cock long, slow strokes, and then his paws were exploring the rest of this big male, who was holding him so tightly in his arms, kissing him so warmly and so deeply. Zaldon's kisses were hot on his neck and his chest, and Zaldon's big paw smoothed down his back and over his buttocks.

But even in the height of hungry kissing and caressing, Kel felt another stabbing pain in his side and cried out.

"We can't do this," Zaldon said, shaking his head. He pressed Kel down on the pillows. "And we probably shouldn't be doing it anyway. You need to rest --"

"I've rested for sixteen years!" Kel snapped. He shook his head and smiled. "Zaldon, I want to be with you. It's going to happen no matter what you do. Can't you see that?"

Zaldon slumped and sighed, then smiled at Kel as if he was defeated.

"You're right, Kel. I can't deny you. I never could."

Kel smiled and rubbed his paw over Zaldon's lovingly. "Make love to me, Zaldon," he whispered, gazing happily into Zaldon's dark eyes. "I want you. I love you!"

Zaldon closed his eyes and smiled, as if he'd been waiting sixteen years to hear those words come from those lips. "Say it again, Kel," he whispered, looking down at Kel with the fire in his eyes Kel had missed so much.

Kel leaned up on one elbow, and drawing Zaldon down close to him, he kissed him on the lips and whispered, "I love you."

And they made love.

It amazed Kel that those big paws could be so deliciously gentle, so tender, so attentive in every touch and caress. But Zaldon, anxious over Kel's injuries, handled Kel as carefully as if he were made of glass. Even his kisses were soft, light. With Kel lying on his stomach, he ran his paws smoothly down Kel's back, leaving kisses in the wake of his touch. And Kel felt each kiss leave that spot on his body burning with pleasure. Zaldon hovered over his shoulder, kissing his cheek, his neck, and Kel shuddered under the kisses as suddenly, Zaldon's thick cock entered him.

Kel closed his eyes and moaned. He had not been filled this wide, this deep in years. For sixteen long years he had wanted for this, dreamt of this -- this moment with Zaldon, with a male he loved so deeply, with a male he might have spent his life with if not for Aliona. This moment, as Zaldon drove himself slowly and deeply, as their moans and cries were soft beside the crackling fire, as Kel relished in the heat of Zaldon's body enclosing him -- this moment was everything his heart had been aching to know and he confessed as much in a whisper.

"Have you really been so sick for me?" Zaldon asked, surprised. He grunted as he drove himself deeper still, and brushing Kel's mane aside with his nose, he kissed his neck.

Kel shivered at the sudden shower of kisses, and when he tensed his buttocks, it drove Zaldon wild. Zaldon moaned into Kel's neck, kissing it, nibbling it, and in the frenzy of the orgasm building steadily in his cock, he sought some control by grasping the back of Kel's paw.

"Of course, I wanted you, Zaldon!" Kel whispered back in amazement.

"Oh, god, Kel . . . you're so . . . tight," Zaldon moaned. "And I can't get very deep without hurting you."

"I know," Kel whispered apologetically and kissed Zaldon's paw. Damn that he let himself get beaten and raped!

"Unless. . . ."

Kel felt Zaldon withdraw slightly and then he gasped: he felt Zaldon's dick swell inside of him, felt his anus stretch just a little wider. But curiously enough, there was no pain: only the deepest pleasure. And Kel, in a sudden swoon of ecstasy, dropped his head back and sighed. Zaldon plunged himself again and Kel let out a choked cry of delight: no male had ever fucked him so deeply. He felt Zaldon's dick reach him in places that he'd thought were quite impossible. And when Zaldon withdrew and sank in again, Kel felt himself stretched even wider, penetrated even deeper, and his pleasure doubled.

"Oh, Zaldon . . . how are you doing that?" Kel whispered, weak with pleasure.

"One of the only benefits," breathed Zaldon, "of being a sorcerer."

And it continued. Zaldon sank his elongating dick deeper and deeper, swelling it thicker with every slow, slippery thrust until they had come together, grunting through their teeth, their bodies tense and hot against each other as finally, they were laying together beside the fire.

"Why did you think I didn't want you?" Kel asked when they had been lying together on for some time. His head was on Zaldon's chest, and Zaldon was holding him.

"Kel, you have Aliona. You have children. You have a family -- you don't need me. I am alone. I mean, I have three wives, but I'm not in love with them, though I love and care for them. And they aren't in love with me. I haven't any children. I haven't . . . I haven't anything. It is only natural that I would want you, think of you. But you have everything, Kel, more than you know. You don't need me too."

"Zaldon, just because I have a wife and children doesn't mean I'm going to suddenly stop loving you! Those feelings have not changed in my heart. You're still the wolf who took me so sweetly on the cliffs, you're still the wolf who held me and comforted me when I thought all was lost. You're still the wolf I admire not just as a fellow warrior or as a sorcerer but as a good and gentle soul."

Without warning, Kel climbed on top of Zaldon and peered into his eyes, grinning. "If I could have it my way, I'd take you home for my second wife. I'd throw you over my shoulder and just carry you home right now!"

Zaldon chuckled at this and touched Kel's chin fondly.

Kel shook his head, his eyes suddenly sad. "A male can have as many as four wives, he can love them all, and no one bats an eye. No one says he's weak. No one says he's any less of a male for it. But I love both you and Aliona, and the world would call me these things."

"I know," Zaldon whispered. He cupped Kel's face and smoothed his thumb over his cheek. "But that's how the world is -- especially in the winter village! You're the first male ass I've touched in sixteen years. So I guess yours was the last too." Zaldon laughed and they smiled at each other.

"Are they really so strict about male to male love here?" Kel asked sympathetically.

"I'm the sorcerer of this village. No one would punish me," Zaldon answered. "But, yes, they are very strict. Many tail chasers have been stoned to death here in the past."

Kel shook his head. "God, Zaldon, I'm so sorry you've had to live here!"

"No, Kel, don't apologize to me. I chose to live here. I chose to come here out of love for you, so that I could help you. I chose those things. You didn't put a knife to my throat and make me do it."

"I still can't help but feel responsible," Kel answered, laying his head on Zaldon's chest. "As if just by loving me you were somehow condemned to live here. I wish -- I just wish I could make you happy . . ."

"Kel?"

Kel looked up miserably but was comforted to see Zaldon smiling at him. The white wolf touched a finger to Kel's chin and kissed him wet and slow on the lips. It was such a tender kiss, such a loving kiss, that Kel relaxed against Zaldon with a smile and closed his eyes.

"Just hearing you say that," whispered Zaldon, stroking Kel's mane, "makes me happier than you know."