Black and Tan
Here's some bizarre jokey porn that no one will get the jokes and no one will care about the porn.
Fuck Art...This Is Smut!
Reading this story is illegal if you're under 18.
Re-enacting its contents is illegal if you're under 21.
"Yo, grab me my New Boslick globe, will you? I've got the bottle-opener."
Brant squatted down to carefully place the two brown paper bags on the living room coffee table, thinking how funny it was that they had never used it for actual coffee. Coffee beers though...dozens of those had taken up temporary residence. This was the ashen-gray dragon's den of discovery with his beer buddy Jackson.
Brant's dingo companion returned from the kitchen quickly with the requested glassware, and a large tulip glass of his own. "Crack em!" he crowed while assuming his position on the couch in preparation for their beer-tasting ritual to begin.
Brant's stout tail swished slowly behind him as he drew a bottle out of one paper sleeve and set it on the table for admiration. Jackson whistled softly as he took in the full glory of the bomber he'd chosen: Hop On Double IPA. "That's a beaut, all right."
The standing dragon grinned knowingly. "Well you know what this means then...one for one, as always." He bent over towards the couch, propping himself up with one hand while using the other to reach toward his buddy's crotch. A pinch and a tug from his scaled fingers, and the dingo's pants were unbuttoned. With far less care than he'd handled the fragile beer bottle with, Brant tugged down Jackson's boxer waistband and fished his half-hard cock out into the open. "Hmmm..." the dragon mused. "Good presentation on this one. Definitely an eye-catcher."
Jackson's snout betrayed a literally cocky smirk. His large triangular ear swiveled towards the dragon. "Well, let's see yours, come on bro!"
Brant was already doubly excited. His own beer of choice for today was a large bottle of an oatmeal stout called Motor Oil. This one had a classy cork and cage sealing off the top, and the bottle label was midnight-black with a parody of real motor oil script tilted across the paper. "I dunno how that got past the TTB!" mused the dragon out loud, earning a snort from an impatient Jackson.
"Come on, dude, you're only halfway there!"
Brant feigned reluctance as he squared up on the second part of the deal. He tugged his black athletic shorts down his thighs, letting them pool around his brewery-branded flip-flops along with his boxer briefs. His flaccid ink-black cock swayed heavily in front of his smooth scrotum as he stood up.
The canine on the couch nodded in approval. "Appropriately dark. Good pairing, I say." Not unnoticed by either of them, Jackson's exposed cock twitched and hardened in silent approval.
Brant took a seat on the other side of the small couch, simultaneously kicking off his lower garments and flimsy shoes. His fat dick lolled between his meaty thighs as he reached forward for his bottle and unscrewed the cage. The cork was popped out and deposited on the table, the bottle and glass held steady, and the black liquid within poured expertly down the side of the globe. The gray dragon was salivating already.
"Looks about like what it's named after!" Jackson admired. "Lemme see what the head on it's like..." He scooted closer to Brant, dipping his head down to nose against the dragon's naked crotch. With a little help from a hand reached around a scaled leg, Brant's member began to fatten and lengthen, standing up firmly enough for proper consideration. "Looks to be about...two fingers," Jackson observed, not looking at the beer at all. Brant chuckled though...the statement held true for both. About an inch of dark brown foam adorned the top of his pour.
"Let's see about the head retention." Brant tilted the glass toward his muzzle, inviting the aroma of the brew in. His friend was too happy to oblige, scooting even closer to be able to suckle the tip of the dragon's dick between his lips. "Ohhh yeah..." Brant sighed. "Good head." He tilted the glass further this time, placing it inside his lips to mirror the dingo's actions. The first taste was a dark wave of subdued chocolate and roast. "Ahhh...just what I was looking forward to. Nice thick mouthfeel, eh Jack?"
The dog felt a large dragon hand pat between his ears playfully to drive the double meaning home. He nodded, sucking more of the cock into his maw and starting to move his lips up and down while Brant savored several more sips of his drink.
Jackson's lips were closed tightly around the very base of the reptile's cock before Brant decided to move on, and his nose was buried against the musky skin. "Bet you're hoping the aroma on yours is gonna be dank enough to follow this, huh?" The dingo managed a snort even around a mawful of shaft. "Well, let's find out. Your turn!"
Jackson made sure to drag his mouth sensually up the dragon's length as a temporary parting gift, teasing the skin with an expert gentle scrape of teeth as well. Brant shivered in response. The dingo had as much bite as the beers he liked.
Hop On poured a clear golden-tan, and even from where he sat Brant could smell the fragrant hoppy aroma just from Jackson pouring a glassful. After setting the half-full bottle back on the table, the dingo leaned back casually, his thinner but longer cock still sticking proudly out of his waistband. "Alright, let's see. Nice color?" Brant was already leaning over to observe the tan skin of Jackson's member. "Pretty expressive head, we'll see if it can keep it up for long." Brant took the punny challenge without a word, giving the cock before him a complete lick, then taking it to the hilt in his maw in one smooth motion.
As the dragon began bobbing his head with gusto, Jackson sniffed and then sampled his chosen brew. "Ahh...very tart from the citrus notes...gives me a little bit of a pucker..." Brant's lips were puckered around the canine's cock, but the word reminded him of something else too...he slipped the fingers of one hand into Jackson's underwear and behind his nuts, finding his target of wrinkled sensitive skin quickly. The pad of his middle finger swirled around Jackson's asshole while the dog swirled the liquid in his glass to help release more of the craved hop aroma.
The swirling also let the foam from the head cling to the sides of the glass in sticky patterns. "Decent lacing too...what about down there?" the canine inquired of his friend. Brant didn't reply directly but he knew Jackson was referring to the fairly impressive amounts of pre he always produced, and that would be sticking to the sides of his cock if they weren't immediately being sucked down by the dragon.
After savoring most of his glass and with the foam only down to one finger, the dingo nodded in approval. Brant showed no signs of slowing down either. "Pretty good head retention on both counts, I'm impressed. And a pleasant tickle on my...uh, on the back end there. Of the beer."
Brant finally let the swollen member flop out of his mouth. "Oh yeah? So the carbonation's pretty good?"
"I'll just show you." Jackson rolled off the couch, holding his flared glass carefully while he shuffled on his knees between the dragon's legs. The fat black cock there still jutted out stiffly, and the leathery sack of Brant's testicles rested heavily on the couch cushion. The sight still made Jackson salivate. He took a large swig of his beer and then quickly slid his lips down and around the organ in front of him.
"Oooooh! You're right bro...nice and tingly..." Brant lifted his big muscled ass up off the couch slightly to get his whole dick into the quickly fizzing liquid in his buddy's mouth. The tiny bubbles made a slight tickling sensation on his shaft, and the coldness of the beer contrasted the eager warmth of the dingo's maw and tongue. The dragon sighed and settled back down, feeling his balls start to pull up in their sack. The dog was so good... "No Fish involved, but damn Dog, you give good Head."
With a nasty cheeky slurp, Jackson drew his muzzle off of Brant's dick, then swallowed the bitter liquid he'd been holding in his mouth. "Ahhhh...now that's a nice mouthfeel for ya." He crawled back up to his side of the couch, and, lifting his legs, shucked his shorts and underwear off all the way. He settled back with his legs spread comfortably, his private area finally able to breathe a little bit. "You gunna share a little bit of yours, dude? I wanna test it out too!"
Brant leaned forward and picked up his glass, giving it a swirl while he mused on an evil idea. He took a long sip of the silky liquid. "Ah, perfectly warmed. I could say the flavor's really...opened up." With that, he smirked sideways at the dingo spread out on the other couch cushion.
Jackson gulped.
Now it was Brant's turn to slide off the couch and position himself between his friend's legs. Reaching behind him for his half-emptied bottle, the kneeling dragon poured the rest of his beer into his glass, topping it up for almost another pint. Another quaff from the fresh pour confirmed the subtle but rich flavor.
Brant mulled over the taste of his beverage absentmindedly while rubbing the inside of Jackson's lean thighs with the hand that wasn't holding his glass. That hand traveled slowly inward to cup the dingo's tightly pulled-up nuts and massage them. Then the fingers lifted up the sack and rubbed back down the taint. With a grin and a huff, Brant hooked an arm under Jackson's thigh and tugged backwards, helping the dog slump down further so his ass and tail hung off the couch. Jackson whimpered in anticipation and let his tail hang down to the floor. He had to take a swig of his beer to calm himself.
Brant set down his glass on the table behind him, and picked up his empty bottle that had been between his legs on the floor. His other hand reached up to rub down the dingo's taint, fingertips settling once again on Jackson's snug asshole. The dog whined in anticipation, feeling the finger wiggle against the sensitive opening in his rear. A quick lick from Brant to the tip of his own finger, and then the first joint of it slipped inside the hole easily, causing a throaty moan from the seated male. He loved nothing more than getting his asshole played with, and no one did it as well as the currently kneeling dragon.
Brant quickly worked his entire finger up his friend's butt, taking a few moments to roughly vibrate his entire hand and open up that ring. Jackson involuntarily arched his back and flexed his tail in a thrill of dirty pleasure, and he knew just what Brant was getting him ready for.
The finger in him suddenly left, leaving a tingly burning sensation behind that made his balls ache. He only had to wait a few seconds for more attention to his exposed asshole, though; something cool and smooth pressed against it as he tilted his head back and lolled his tongue out.
Brant started pushing against the orifice with the bottle, prodding his buddy's butthole and teasing the mouth of the bomber into him. As experienced as Jackson was, it was fairly easy to slip in the first ring just at the lip of the bottle. That didn't stop the canine from groaning in ecstasy, as much from the feeling of being entered as from the kinkiness of the unusual object doing so. Brant pressed forward and tugged back, firmly working the bottleneck up into the furry ass in front of him. It was mostly dry...but he'd played the dingo's butt enough to know that he liked a challenge and a good bit of friction.
After only a minute of persistent twisting and shoving, the shoulders of the big bottle were butting up against the dingo's anus, and Brant made sure Jackson felt that by thrusting the bottle upwards against the insides of the buttocks. The dog's whines and panting were unchecked now, and the mostly-empty beer glass in his hand was temporarily forgotten.
"So we know the mouthfeel's good on this one...how's the bottle-feel from the other end?" Brant taunted with a mean-hearted withdrawal and re-insertion of half the bottleneck.
"Ugh...it's...nice and thick...just like the mouthfeel...not as...ugh...as slick though..." Jackson struggled to keep up the charade they both found so hot, especially when Brant suddenly pulled the bottleneck entirely out of his asshole, leaving him empty and gaping and making him let out a surprised howl.
Brant smiled evilly, loving the way his bro's hole looked when something had been freshly pulled out of it. He always had to give it up to the dingo; the dog had an asshole sweeter than Samichlaus.
The bottle-mouth went back in the hole with little resistance this time, making the canine huff and tense his whole body in ecstasy at being so used. His temporarily-ignored cock flopped helplessly on his stomach over and over again, leaving little dabs and strings of his infamous precum production in his light brown fur. His balls were so tight against his body his scrotum was almost hard like a walnut. "Fuck...please...fuck me with it...."
Brant grunted in approval and greedily complied with Jackson's wishes, jabbing the bottle in and out and twisting it around inside the tender, abused hole. Several more times, he yanked the neck out of his friend, causing more wounded-sounding howls, but just as many throbs and flops of the tan-colored malehood. The dragon could tell Jackson was getting close just from the anal play and all the teasing beforehand, and lent a gracious mouth to one of his own favorite activities. While still throttling the dingo's ass with the empty bottle, he leaned forward and took the achingly needy canine cock into his mouth and proceeded to bob on it with savage gusto.
The double pleasure was almost too much for the wild dog, who barely managed to formulate a relevant thought. "Fuck, it's good that you're not like most tops and you like blowing...makes you...quite the heady topper..."
Brant snorted, ruffling the dingo's tufty pubic fur. That was a good one.
It was when the dragon was fiercely ramming in the last inch of the neck of the bottle and sucking the long pulsing cock in his maw as quickly and tightly as he could...that the writhing dingo arched his back, lifted his ass, and thrust his lengthy cock as far down the dragon's throat as possible, not caring for Brant's comfort and knowing he loved it anyway. "UGH...FUCK!!!" came the dog's Victory cry as waves of pleasure seemingly made of concrete smashed over him. He quickly remembered his manners, and fumbled to shakily raise his beer glass to his dry lips before his crashing orgasm ended. With the last few spurts of sperm down his buddy's throat, the dingo drained what was left of his first glass.
Chest still heaving, whole body still humming with exertion and glowing sexual heat, Jackson managed to smack his lips and carry on. "Well...this is ranking pretty up there on bitterness... What do you think the IBU's are on what_you_ just had?"
Brant pulled off of the dingo's cock with a gasp, letting the organ flop wetly back onto its owner's thigh. "It's probably off the charts at this point..." He grinned just a tad sheepishly. "I mean, your diet IS mostly extra-hoppy beer at this point so..."
That got an agreeable chuckle from the exhausted dingo on the couch. "Say...I wonder what a black and tan between these two beers would be like?..."
They looked at each other and grinned, both having the same mischievous idea at the same time.
Brant hastily popped the bottle out of his buddy's asshole and handed the dingo his own bottle. Jackson poured the rest of his burstingly bitter nectar into the elegant glass as his dragon compadre raised his own glass in preparation for the toast. Their glasses clinked cheerfully, and exclamations of "cheers" and a half-jokey "Prost!" were exchanged before each took a healthy mouthful of their concoctions.
Then their respective glasses were forgotten as the odd pair hungrily attacked each other's mouths, lips rubbing passionately before opening together. Liquid splashed and flowed from each maw into the others, effectively snowballing the two brews together. Brant's black lips and tongue heatedly met against Jackson's short tan muzzle-fur. Each gave and took generously and with understood affection.
When the men had equal mouthfuls of the mixed brews, they separated to savor the concoction. Neither the joining nor the break had been particularly airtight; dribbles of beer adorned both of their chins. The messiness only added to the lust of the moment though...and the spontaneous sharing made the mixture all the better tasting.
Jackson commented first after he swallowed. "Quite a good combination, I'd say."
"I agree...they compliment each other pretty well," Brant wryly agreed.
They smiled at each other for a few seconds before meeting again for a slow but still sloppy and beer-smeared kiss.
"You're such a one-beer queer," Jackson ribbed his bigger, beefier bro.
Brant snorted, his tail exhibiting a playful flop behind him on the floor. "Careful or you'll get a bottle back up the butt."
"Aw...put a cork in it, you braggart. Or should I say...braggot?"
The gray dragon didn't verbally reply to that, only complied literally by quickly grabbing the discarded cork from his bottle and jamming it up the dingo's asshole.
"Ufffff! You dirty, arrogant bastard..."
Brant laughed out loud. "Come on, let's go upstairs...we still have beer left and I haven't cum."