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THIS IS A FIRST DRAFT. PLEASE READ REVISION HERE:https://www.sofurry.com/view/885306

A little forward, this is a story I have been working on in my very *limited* spare time. Please give me input on whether you guys would like to know what happens to Jack next. I have approximately 30 or so pages done, but far from finished. Being a broke ass college kid I have limited resources, so monetary donations and of course words of encouragement are very much appreciated. Please be gentle, I have been unable to edit this story, so I am sure there are a slew of grammatical errors! I don't know if Jack is interesting enough to be published, but I enjoy him! :-)

Anywho...! The story follows a gay high school aged boy who has had a rough start in life. Jack starts his journey very bitter and angry, but mostly lost. Will Jack's resilient spirit prevail? Will Jack find the answers he seeks? Will Jack find himself?

FINDING JACK: THE PREVIEW

A sheet of paper hit my cold desk and broke the solemnness of my self-pity. Damn it, one of those stupid "about me" questionnaires. Like anyone wants to know "about me"? What's there to say, an 18-year-old fox that is queer as the day is long? Not much to say. I sneered as the other kids laughed and reconnected with one another after a long summer back to the last year of their high school education. I resented them all. Okay, maybe not resented... Maybe envied?

My parents moved around so much, following my proud military general father. He was proud all right. He was proud of his gorgeous vixen wife, proud of his strong oldest boy who was following in his footsteps. Me? I was an embarrassment. Swept under the rug. "Don't ask, don't tell" they say. I could never abide by this theory unfortunately. I wore my, "affliction" on my sleeve, as my father would say. As much as I tried to like girls and be, "normal" the bouncing junk in the tight spandex of the football team's warm up shorts peaked my interest all too highly.

"Jack... JACK?" The old Goose teacher yelled in her crackled voice.

"Umm...present... I guess," I mumbled. A roar of laughter filled the room much to the teacher's dismay. I rolled my eyes and flattening my ears to show my disgust. "Idiots," I thought to myself. Hell, not the first time I had been laughed at, and not the last either apparently. I had grown hardened and resentful. Though, mostly I had been much ignored as we moved cross country, my middle school days in Bible belt schools had not been the kindest. There's nothing easy about the confusion and fear you have when you first realize the genitalia of your own sex is more appealing than that you are supposed to be attracted to. Nothing gentle about the screaming fear of your family and everyone you know discarding you, because of this new epiphany. Now add to the equation a bunch of asshole middle school kids raised by Bible thumpers who will happily beat your ass for wearing shorts perhaps a "BIT" too short and "MAYBE" checking out another dude's butt a time or two. Not a fairytale ending. I have the temper of my father. They might've beat my tiny ass, but I always went down yelling, "YOU JUST LIKE MY ASS IN THESE SHORTS THAT'S ALL."

"A little about me..." Another asshole to break my silence, it seems. I looked up to see a petite little wolf girl with the sparkliest blue eyes. She was one of those giggly cheerleader bitches, but I will hand it to her. She did have good taste in clothes. "...Well I have been a cheerleader since I was seven years old..." Exactly. Shut up. I lowered my ears once more. Why were guys interested in such shallow beings? I could at least cook up a more interesting story than that. Those girls had it made, guys fell all over them! If they were a creek, the damn bed would be dry, THAT'S HOW SHALLOW. She rambled on until she was done, and a sharp looking Cheetah stood. I couldn't say I heard anything he was saying, because I was gawking at the clock as if it were a blockbuster hit. The goose than cackled her next words, and she was interrupted by the buzz of the bell. Thank god.

I was half way out of the hallway, and that cutesy fake wolf girl grabbed me by my tail. I turned around and she gave me one of those, "hundred megawatt" smiles that I'm sure would've made the straight dudes blow a damn circuit.

"Barking up the wrong tree sweetie," I scoffed.

"Oh... Um... I mean your cute and all and I'm sure. I mean... I know you are. Um... Ya know?" She had turned the color of her fire hydrant red skirt.

"Gay? Queer? Don't be afraid to say it. I am sure your dumb jock boyfriend won't when he comes to kick my ass." I said in my catty nonchalant manner.

"Um... I know that, but I heard you're like really smart. Like in math and stuff, and you are on the list to tutor. Last year I about failed. I am trying to go to the same college as my boyfriend in Oklahoma, but right now I don't think they would even consider me..." She paused. I could tell this was not something she was used to admitting. Her tail twitched nervously and her eyes shifted back and forth to the students leaving the classroom, trying to ensure they didn't catch our conversation. For once in my life I got a wicked sense of joy. Here was this yuppie cheerleader idiot, embarrassed and coming to "ME" for help. What was this The X Files?

I relished the moment before dispassionately rolling my eyes and muttering back,

"Yeah, sure what the hell ever. I don't approve of following dumb jocks around to colleges, but lucky for you I don't give a flying shit about your wellbeing." I gave one of my foxy smiles and she caught me off guard wrapping her arms around me.

"You're such a bitch! I love it!" She laughed relaxing her arms from her embrace. "Hey, how about we hang out at my house tonight? My parents are gone and Mason will be out late with his first practice. I desperately need someone other than Mariah and Amy to hang with!! Please!"

"As long as you don't try to convert me. Been there done that. Not into that vag thing."

"What makes you think I'm into that hot fox ass anyways?" She teased.

"Not many who aren't." I shot back striking a sexy pose.

"Such a slut!" She giggled, "Well latah hoe. My house tonight."

I had the stupidest grin on my face as I turned around to head for my next class. Maybe this year wouldn't be so bad after all?

******

"Jack honey, where are you going?" My mother asked in that annoying ass "Mom concerned" tone. School had been a tiring day, and I was not in the mood to deal with redundant questioning. She was always worried I would be like one of those little queer kids who get offed by the gay hating clans or perhaps I would get buttfucked and die of AIDS? Apparently to my parents those were the only fates us gay kids had.

"I am going on a date with a GIRL, you know all those anti gay self help classes you and dad forced me through are really helping!" I snapped sarcastically.

"Jack, you asshole! You know your father and I only want the best for you! Where are you really going? Please honey, we are worried about you!" I saw my mom peer at me from the crack of the semi-closed door. She had that annoying concerned expression she always had when she looked at me. Her fur was the same gorgeous gloriously ruby red she had passed on to both her boys. She donned an expensive white gold Tiffany locket wrapped around her neck and matching tennis bracelet. Her sleek short black dress accentuated her elegant trim figure. She was a vixen that came from wealth. Every bit of her body exerted this, her expression, her speech (when she wasn't addressing me of course), and simply the way she entered a room. She had that air about her in everything she did.

"Don't worry about me, I am hanging out with a girl... A FRIEND." I emphasized the word "friend."

"Oh darling!" She exclaimed, flinging the door fully open and throwing her arms around me, "This is such great news! Please let me and your father know every detail when you return! We are headed to the marine ball tonight, you remember us telling you this darling?"

Oh shit, yup that was tonight. Like I care. I rolled my eyes and snapped, "Mom I KNOW and if I didn't I still wouldn't give a shit."

"Oh Jack, could you PLEASE watch your language?" She questioned turning and shaking her head, then left me to return to dressing. I slipped a teal and white-stripped tank on with my khaki shorts and threw my Ray Bans on my head. I passed the mirror checking myself. Fabulous as always.

I pulled up my new friend's house. Like always, that rush of horror swept my body hoping to God that this girl's parents weren't fag-hating republicans. I then remembered she mentioned they would be gone. I praised the gods in the heavens, not really but I was damn happy. I pulled my little Mustang up alongside two older Honda cars. A small middle class brick home, nothing too unusual here. Wait two cars? Shit.

In an instant that tiny-framed idiot flung open her front door and dashed up to my car. She had left her school day attire, and wore a cute Victoria Secret string bikini that really showed off her tits. Her light golden brown fur reflected the sun from the sunset. I bet this picture would've made my brother hard as a damn rock. I became a bit depressed thinking how much easier my life might've been if this image did the same to me. Atlas, it didn't. Fuck it.

She giggled, "oh my god, I need someone with taste in my life! Thank GOD you are here!" She grabbed my arm and swiftly whisked me through the house then hurled open the doors leading to the backyard pool. "You brought a suit right? Oh shit I forgot to tell you to bring one! Usually my girlfriends just borrow mine, but you have um..."

"Balls and a dick?" I joked. This girl was such a ditz, but she was fun.

"Hey, you know what? I bet my brother has a suit you can borrow! He's off on a run, but he'll be bac.... Oh there he is!" A lean wolf wearing a small pair of running shorts paced up to the house, unlatching the back gate and jumping into the pool soaking his poor younger sister.

"Liam you ASS!" She squealed.

"Anna, who's your little boyfriend?" Her older brother teased as he returned to the surface. Liam was the same golden brown color as his sister. He was about average sized for a male; of course at an average height he still outsized my tiny stature. He had that distance runner rangy body. Not something that caught my eye. I much preferred the muscular jock type that could turn me over and really give me a... Okay I'll stop. Liam joined us at the edge of the pool.

"He's, my FRIEND, Liam and his name is Jack. He needs to borrow something to swim in, could you please stop being such a jerk for just a moment?"

"Sure, sure." Liam grinned, lifting himself out of the pool, "follow me Jack!" I followed him back into the house down the hallway. I wasn't attracted to him, but he did have that nice runner's ass. I tried not to admire it too much while I followed him down the hallway. He opened the door to his room; the walls were covered with college guy type crap.

"So you're your studying at Laketon?" I mused, "Private college. Fancy."

Liam laughed, "Senior. This is my last year. I'll miss the cross team I'll admit."

"How could anyone miss running?" I retorted under my breath.

"It's liberating really. Not bad for de-stressing. It's really helped me out in my life" He said thoughtfully.

"Sweating and choking for air doesn't sound too Zen to me, but whatever gets your rocks off."

Liam, smiled shaking his head and throwing a pair of running shorts at me.

"Dear god, look at these booty shorts. You runners sure you aren't all gay?" I joked.

Liam retorted, "NO! See I have a girl!" He passed a picture of a snooty looking squirrel across the bed.

"She's hot," I bit my tongue in that lie. I think it was the first time I ever referred to a female as "hot". I was tired and really didn't want to sit down with this dude and have the, "I'm a fag" talk right now.

Liam smiled and said, "Well it was nice to meet you Jack." He then laughed, "Don't get any ideas about my sister"

"You don't have to worry about me." I sighed. This time there was no lie.

I joined Anna for the rest of the night to talk by the pool about the most random things. We laughed and looked through magazines at the latest fashions and gossiped about celebrities. It was nice having a friend in this new town. A friend that wanted to be with me and laugh with me, not use me as a fucktoy and toss me to the side. Not that I would pass up a good fuck right now. I was pretty pent up since Mark or was it Max, the Doberman with the huge dick that I met in the LA bar I snuck into. Don't take me as a size queen, but that dog had quite the bone. Where was I again? Oh yes, a friend. A welcomed change.

*****

Autumn school days are as sharp and brisk as the season itself. The long warm days of summer roll into the cool short days of fall. Anna and I had become good friends. We spent many nights laughing and confiding in each other. The kids at Westwood high were okay, most typically hated queers or completely avoided them. Nothing new. Anna joked, it was due to the fact they were afraid of they could catch AIDS by making eye contact, because all us gays have AIDS of course. I gained many new friends, Anna's cheerleader friends mostly. Anna's gorgeous jock tiger boyfriend, Mason was a bit indifferent to the amount of time Anna and I seemed to spend together. I thought maybe it was due to his jealousy. Not that he had anything to worry about. Liam had moved back to his fraternity, he went back shortly after our school year started. It was a bit liberating him not being there, I didn't have to tiptoe around my sexuality.

My first fuck happened the night after homecoming. Will, a young large grey wolf from the football team solicited my services. He wanted a discrete fuck, perhaps dealing with some kind of suppressed homosexual feelings. There were no fireworks when we kissed, no butterflies when we embraced, but dear god when he knotted my tail hole there was something.

"Jack, erm I need some help with my math tonight." The large wolf said in the hallway after my Physics class. Will easily stood taller than me; his strong frame was covered with lithe muscles. He had the abs of a surfer and the glutes of a God.

"...but Will, you are doing excellent in math. What more could you need?" I mocked. I grew irritated by the fact our relationship was such a secret.

"You know what I mean Jack. Damnit." Will sighed.

"Why can't you quit the lies?" I asked with a bit of desperation slipping into my tone.

"Please Jack not now", he begged.

"Fine, my house at 6." I snapped whirling around in frustration.

A few kids gawked at our awkward display, but I gave no mind. I actually took great delight in knowing how much it must've discomforted Will.

That night like clockwork Will arrived at my house. My dad opened the door rolling his eyes as Will said he came to study, "Math". My dad knew exactly what was going on. Wasn't the first time a hot dude had arrived at the door to study, "math".

Will awkwardly made his way back to my room. He opened the door and gave a sheepish grin as his eyes studied my frame. I was naked only clad with those itty bitty running shorts I had, err "borrowed" from Liam to swim in. Will shut the door locking it. He sat on the bed next to me, and a small growl escaped his throat letting me know exactly his intent.

"I thought you were too embarrassed to keep fucking this?" I taunted slowly arching my back to emphasize my ass like a damn male Playboy bunny.

"Jesus Christ Jack..." He trailed off. I could see the erection in his pants growing. He grabbed my small boyish hips and grinded my ass against his rock hard cock. I'm no lightweight, but I literally could've came in this moment.

"Get those pants off bitch!" He demanded as threw me back on the bed.

"What do you mean jock? There's no pussy under here, but you can play with this if you'd like" I slid the tiny shorts off revealing my smaller, but equally as hard member that had fully erupted from my sheath. I lifted my tail to give him full view of what he really wanted.

"Don't push me bitch," Will growled. He threw me against the bed yanking my tail up and attempted to force his cock into my unlubed ass.

"Fucking Damnit Will STOP." I kicked him off me. "What the fuck, dude! You can't shove a dry cock in my ass, if you want a pussy than go fuck one of Anna's slut friends. When you are going to admit what you are? What we are?"

Will held his head in his hands. "I told you Jack..." he trailed off.

"You didn't tell me shit! You came to ME Will." I cried. I never cry, but this hurt.

"Jack..." he breathed cooling himself down and continued, "Jack you are cool guy and this is fun, but I told you this is all I wanted. This is all I can give you. If you want to keep fucking that is cool, but that is all it is."

"GET OUT!" I sobbed. That's all these douche bags ever wanted. A fuck. Not me.

"Dude, it doesn't have to be this way. I have to go over to my church and help set some tables or my parents are going to kill me, but I could swing by later...?"

"Yes, Will go to your church and let them know about the little queer crying at home that you've been using at a fucktoy. See how much, 'your church' wants you around then. Tell everyone, what you've been doing. No tell them WHOM you've been doing, because then you will come crawling back to ME. You know why? Because the world isn't so kind to the dudes who do the things we've done."

"Damnit Jack, you CAN'T tell. Please Jack no. You promised. Jack, do you know what my parents will do...?" Will pleaded, tears welling in his eyes.

"Hate you? Leave Will. Your 'secret' is safe with me."

"Jack, I'm sorry... but I've gotta go..."

Will closed the door and left. I was alone again. Alone like always. Even though I never loved Will, and deep down I knew this was only a 'fuck'. I cried. I cried because I knew a guy like him could never love a guy like me. I wasn't sure any guy could or would love me.

I never 'had' Will, but life without him was even worse. Anna and her cheerleader friends were always there for me, but when I watched Mason hold Anna with no hint of shame but with pride, my heart seemed to crumble to pieces. Why couldn't I be normal? Why couldn't I hold some dumb bitch and feel the same way Mason does holding Anna? Loved.