FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Sorry about this being posted so late, i had a VERY long and busy weekend with the family and NO internet access. I really hope this chapter came out well, you have no idea how hard it is to write with 4 little girls running around the house O.o. But, hopefully you guys like it ^.^.

My eyes drearily opened as I felt Damien shuffling behind me, his body tightening as he stretched and rolled out of bed. I got up and followed him into the bathroom, wrapping myself around him and softly nuzzling his chest. He held me to him as he mumbled incoherently in his heavy drowse. I tried to forget what had happened last night, but the soreness in my rear and the mark on my neck served as a constant reminder. We got into the shower together and washed each other off, Damien being exponentially affectionate. He kept holding me to the shower wall and kissing all over my body, tenderly wrapping his arms around me as he soaped me up and rinsed me off. Perhaps I was wrong about last night, maybe it was for the better. The way he was kissing me, touching me, it made me feel so loved and cared for. But there was still a lingering fear in my mind, that Damien might take things too far.

As we dressed for school Damien insisted on putting my clothes on for me. At first I thought it was cute, but I felt like he wanted me to feel more dependent of him. As he pulled my pants up he groped me, squeezing my package as he breathed down my neck.

"Mmm, you were so good last night babe, thank you" he whispered as he kissed at the mark he left on me. I rustled through my bag and found a collared shirt to hide the mark, but Damien shook his head and smiled, handing me one of my T shirts instead. I pushed it away and put on the collared shirt, seeing Damien was disappointed as I buttoned it up. We went downstairs to find Mr and Mrs. Nightshade eating breakfast before leaving for work.

"Well well, I do hope you boys had fun last night." Mr. Nightshade smirked. I instantly went redder than a stop sign, fidgeting with my hands as I looked over at Damien, who seemed completely unfazed by the comment.

"Dad please, you act like you and mom don't tear the place down every other night" he scoffed. I was completely shocked by what he said, apparently sex was far from a touchy subject in their family. I kept my composure long enough to walk out the door and get into Damien's car.

"Oh my god that was so embarrassing" I sighed. "Now every time I pass your dad in school I'm not going to be able to look at him"

"Don't worry hon he's not mad or anything. I didn't mean to get so loud though, I couldn't help it" he smiled. As we drove to school I became less and less contrite. Damien's intentions didn't seem as dark as I had previously thought. He was smiling and being so affectionate and kind that all my worrying just melted away.

We got to school and kissed each other before going to our separate classes. Everything was going well during the day up until right before gym. As I was talking to Roy about gym I remembered something. The gym uniform was shorts and T shirts, meaning everyone would see the bite on my neck. When 3rd period came I was reluctant to put on my uniform. Sadly I could no longer prevent the inevitable, and I changed into my gym uniform. Many of the other guys were leering at me in disgust as we sat waiting for coach. After he came in and led us out for warm ups, Roy came over and talked to me while we stretched.

"Dude what's with the bite?" He asked with a concerned look on his face.

"Oh, Damien and I were messing around and he asked if he could "leave his mark" on me. I didn't know what he meant so I said sure and the next second he's biting my neck" I explained.

"Jeez josh, you can't let him do things like that, next he'll want you to wear a collar to school" He told me sternly.

"What're you talking about?" I asked him, confused by what he meant.

"Josh, he left that mark on you so everyone would see that you're his property" he went on. Suddenly all of the worries I had about Damien returned, and I felt myself doubting him again.

"Roy, I'm a little worried about Damien as well. Last night, we started messing around, but he wanted to go all the way. I said no at first, but he kept insisting, and well..." I trailed off.

"Josh I told you how controlling he can be. He didn't hurt you did he?" he questioned.

"No, but I'm just confused, I mean yeah he was being a little aggressive about it, but... I didn't exactly push him away either" I told him.

"Josh don't blame yourself, I can tell you're worried cause you're doubting yourself, that's exactly what Damien wants. He wants you to have to go to him for everything, and to control you." He explained.

"Even if all of that IS true, I still love him, he makes me happy" I said.

"Well if he makes you happy then thats fine. But if he EVER hurts you, tell me ok?" He requested. I nodded and smiled, happy the Roy was such a good friend to me.

After stretching we got with our partners and started prepping for the archery course. As we went outside Steve and I were unloading the targets when he asked me about my neck.

"God that thing is huge" He laughed.

"I know, it's so embarrassing" I pouted.

"I didn't think that Damien guy was so rough, but hey its no big deal" He reassured me.

"Oh I almost forgot, my house is open again if you wanna study there." I told him. He thought about it for a minute, his expression seeming uncomfortable.

"Nah thats ok, nothing personal but it would be too awkward to study there again" He explained. I felt a bit hurt by his comment, but I could understand why it would make him feel strange to be in my room again. We finished setting up and were about to begin, but a fire drill interrupted and we had to make our way to the parking lot. As we stood and let coach take role I saw Damien standing in another line and waved at him. He saw me waving and eagerly walked over, eventually taking me in his arms and nuzzling my neck.

"Hey hon, I missed you" He smiled, licking at the mark a bit.

"Damien...not in front of everyone" I stammered, not wanting everyone to see him licking me like that.

"Who cares, we make out right outside the school every day" he chuckled. I saw Roy walk over with an annoyed look on his face as Damien kept toying with my neck.

"Damien stop being such a dick!" Roy snarled. I'd never seen Roy react that way before. Damien instantly let go of me and walked over to Roy, getting into his face.

"Why don't you mind your own business" Damien growled. I walked over and got between them, pushing them away from each other.

"What's wrong with you guys?!" I exclaimed.

"Josh I'm not just gonna let Damien push you around like that" Roy defended.

"I'm not pushing him around, why don't you go fuck off?" Damien scowled.

"Both of you stop! You guys are being ridiculous." I told them. They both gave each other an angry glare before Damien walked away, not even saying goodbye as he left.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to blow up like that, but I just can't stand him acting like you're just some toy" Roy apologized.

"It's ok, I just don't want you guys fighting. I don't want to get stuck in the middle of anything" I frowned. Roy gave me a reassuring smile as we walked back to class and showered before lunch.

As I sat and waited for Damien, I became more and more worried about his behavior the past couple days. I didn't want him getting so aggressive all the time. Eventually Damien plopped down at the table, a irritated look on his face.

"Whats wrong?" I asked him.

"That fox is what's wrong, I don't want you hanging around him anymore, I don't trust him" He grumbled.

"Honey you're overreacting, Roy's my best friend, you shouldn't worry so much" I told him.

"Whatever" He huffed, not even looking at me as he spoke.

"Hon are you mad at me?" I asked him.

"No I'm just pissed about earlier, I'm sorry babe but... I just can't stand the thought of you being around him." He grunted, clenching his teeth in frustration.

"But why? We're just friends hon, please I just want you to tell me honestly why you don't like him" I questioned.

"Well... hon... I shouldn't really be telling you this but...he's got lycantrophy" He murmured.

"Yeah I know, what's wrong with that?" I wondered.

"Everything hon! You can't trust people like him!" He shouted.

"Damien theres nothing wrong with how he is, he can't help it. And I'm really not liking your attitude right now" I scolded.

"Are you serious? You're taking his side?!" He yelled.

"Hon I'm not taking anyones side, but you're being mean and I don't like it" I told him.

"I'm not being mean, I'm trying to protect you honey" he replied in a calm voice.

"From what?!" I asked loudly

"From everyone! You're my boyfriend and I don't want you with anyone else understand!?" He snarled. I felt my heart stop at that very moment. Roy was right, he was trying to control me. I didn't want to believe it, but his reaction just proved it. He wanted me all to himself, which would be ok, but not at the expense of my friends. I stood up and walked out, dashing down the hall and out of sight before he could follow me.

As we sat in fourth period I didn't even look at Damien. I caught a few glimpses of him when shuffling through my bookbag, and he looked grief stricken and disappointed, his ears flat against his head. But I ignored him either way, I wanted him to realize what would happen if his attitude kept up. When fourth mod ended I walked out before he could talk to me, and directly out to Roy's car. Before I could get in Damien grabbed my arm and pulled me to him.

"Hon I'm sorry ok? I didn't mean to yell at you like that" He apologized.

"Just leave me alone, I don't want to talk to you when you're being like this" I cried, trying to fight back my tears. I jerked away from the grip of his arm and got into Roy's car locking it as I shut the door. Damien urged me to get out but I just sat there, not looking out at him. Roy came over and Damien gave him a dirty look before finally walking away. Roy got in and drove us away, looking over at me after a few moments.

"You ok?" He asked.

"I don't know, I just want the Damien that I first knew back, I don't understand why he's acting like this" I muttered, wiping the remaining tears from my eyes.

"Because he's a jealous guy josh, he's only starting to show his true colors because he thinks you wont leave him." Roy replied. I thought about what he said, and he may have been right. I didn't want to leave Damien, even though he was being so mean, I still felt a strong connection to him.

"I think you're right, I still love him, even after he yelled at me... all I wanted was for him to hold me in his arms." I admitted.

"Josh how can you still wanna be with him?! After he hurt you like that?!" He questioned.

"I know, but I can't help it, I still want to be with him, I want him to change" I cried.

"Josh... you're my best friend, I want you to be happy, but...I don't want anything bad to happen to you" He sighed as we pulled into his driveway.

"I can't leave him, he's the only one who ever made me feel so special, so wanted. I don't want to give that up" I whimpered, trying not to cry anymore. Roy sat with a disappointed look on his face, taking my hand in his.

"I could never live myself if he ever hurt you... I don't want to see that happen, please josh... don't take him back" He begged, a hopeful look in his eyes. We both knew I couldn't do that though. I was too weak, too pathetic to let go of him. I walked to my house and laid down, trying to sort out everything in my mind. My phone continually rang as Damien called me, eventually forcing me to turn it off. I felt so weak, my eyes falling deeper and deeper until I finally fell asleep.

I woke up to my mom telling me that Steve was waiting for me in the driveway. I completely forgot about going to his house to study and hurried to collect my stuff. I ran out out his car and got in as he drove to his place. We got up to his room and I was glad to have something to take my mind off of Damien. As we were working Steve started acting strange, he kept stammering and couldn't stop moving. Soon he stopped me in the middle of a lecture to say something.

"Hey josh, I've been wondering something" He said.

"What is it?" I asked him.

"Well... I was just thinking, when did you know? You know, that you were..." He trailed off.

"When I was 13" I told him.

"Yeah but... HOW did you know?" he asked.

"Well, I could just feel it really. I could never see myself being with a woman, but when I imagined myself being with a man, everything just seemed to fall into place." I explained.

"So... you've never liked women at all?" He wondered.

"No not really, I've just always been attracted to guys" I went on. He looked extremely confused and a bit distressed. Of course any straight guy would be confused by the gay mentality. We continued working a few hours until Steve finally took me home.

When I got inside mom told me that Damien had called the house and asked for me. I told her I'd call him back but just went to my room and got ready for bed. I turned my phone on briefly just to see if Roy had sent me anything. My inbox was completely full of new texts from Damien, and my voice mail was full as well. I didn't want to go through the anguish of having to listen to his excuses, so I simply pressed delete all and crawled into bed. As a laid there I thought about Damien, and hoped that maybe I could help him change his controlling attitude. But Roy's words sunk deep into my mind, and I couldn't help but doubt myself. Perhaps Damien already had me in his control, and this was all a feeble attempt at denying it. Either way I couldn't keep myself from wanting Damien beside me as I drifted into the darkness, wanting his warm loving arms around me once more.

The next day I drove to school with Roy, and I walked into first period to find I had something waiting for me at the office. I took a quick stroll over and the woman at the front desk pointed out a beautiful bouquet of hydrangeas, violets, and orchids, all of which were flowers I adored. I looked at the card and it was from Damien.

Honey, I'm so sorry for what I did. I want you back, more than anything in the world. You're my boyfriend, and I would never mean to hurt you. Please forgive me. Love Damien.

I was touched by his gesture, but I wasn't going to let a bouquet and card erase everything he had done. The secretary told me I would have to pick up the bouquet after school was over, and I contemplated whether or not I even should. I walked back to first period and blocked the matter from my mind.

The day went by smoothly and soon I was in gym lifting weights with Steve. He was being unusually vocal and seemed to be in a rather good mood.

"Hey, if you wanna study at your place tonight we can. I know what I said before about it being awkward was probably kind of shitty of me, and I'm sorry for that" He smiled.

"Thats fine, I understood why you would think so, it's no big deal" I smiled back. For the first time it seemed like Steve and I were acting like true friends, rather than just study buddies. I kept looking at the clock, ruing the fact I would have to see Damien in 4th period. I didn't bother going to lunch and went to the library instead, knowing there was no way I could avoid him there.

Soon enough that moment came, and I walked to class, dreading the bombardment of apologies I would likely receive. Not two second before I walked in Damien caught me in the hall and asked if we could talk. I took Roy's advice and just completely ignored him, my heart quaking in pain as I stepped away. Half of me wanted Damien back, and the other was crushed and didn't want to be anywhere near him. It's as if I were on a diet, and Damien was the tempting dessert. I knew if I took him back, I could possibly regret it later. But If I didn't take him back, I would have to go without the happiness he brought me every second I was with him. I tried my hardest to focus in class and when the bell rung I walked to the office, picking up the bouquet. Sure enough Damien had followed me and I gave in and gave him a minute to talk to me.

"Thank you for the flowers" I told him.

"Honey I'm sorry, but I can't help feeling so...angry when you're with other guys. I'm trying to get over it but... it's just so damn hard for me hon." He vented.

"Damien, being jealous is one thing, but threatening my friends and snarling at me it another" I told him sternly.

"I know, you're completely right and I would never mean to do that to you. But Roy just got me so fucking frustrated, and it hurts when you would rather be with him than with me." He went on.

"Well when you're acting like a jerk of course I'd rather hang out with him, but in any other case you should know that I can't be with you 24/7, I need time to myself, and with my friends." I reasoned.

"But why would you want to be with them when you know I'm right here waiting?" he questioned.

"Because believe or not you're not the only important person in my life, and the sooner you realize that the sooner we can fix this" I fussed as I walked away. I didn't understand how he could be so conceded and cynical. I went home with Roy and waited for Steve at my house hoping to clear my mind once more.

After about an hour Steve came over and he was acting even stranger than the previous day. When he could barely even write anymore I suggested we took a break.

"Are you ok? You seem pretty high strung" I told him.

"Yeah sorry about that, it's just that... I'm actually starting to remember what happened that night, and all the shit I said" He explained. I couldn't help but feel a mixture of regret and sadness when he talked about that night. But at the same time I knew Steve was probably going through the same amount of trouble I was with the whole thing.

"So...what exactly do you remember?" I asked him.

"Well, I remember being on top of you, and I was... well, y'know. And I remember laying down next to you, and saying all that stuff" He stammered. I felt an important question coming out of me, and before I could try and stop myself It was too late.

"Do you regret it?" I questioned, almost shocked at myself for asking such a thing.

"Well part of me regrets it, but the other part feels bad because it really was my fault. To be honest, from what I remember you were actually really good, besides the whole guy thing" He chuckled. I didn't know I should have been happy or disappointed by his answer, but I was content at the fact he didn't completely regret it. We soon continued studying and agreed that the next session would be at his place. After he left I breathed a sigh of relief and went to bed, hoping that the next day would bring a sense of closure to my mind.

The next day Steve was being even nicer in gym, and Damien even more apologetic. I didn't talk to Damien after school, wanting him to come to a realization that he can go long periods of time without having me with him. Roy and I played Ps3 for a while before Steve picked me up and took me to his house. He went to get a load of laundry from the basement as I went up to his room ans started getting my things out. As I sat on the bed I felt something poking out between the mattress and box spring. As I pulled it out at first glance It looked like some sort of sports magazine. But as I picked it up another text fell out of it. I picked that one up as well, and was floored by the images I was looking at. "Boi magazine" a gay nude magazine filled with small twinkish pretty boys as far as the eye could see. I practically shivered as I held it in my hand, reflexively flipping through the pages. I noticed the issue was for the previous month, and a tag on the front was proof it was bought from a porn shop. I couldn't believe what I was looking at, I had to have been dreaming. But the sound of Steve coming up the steps was a huge wake up call and I scrambled to put the magazines back together and back under the mattress, practically breathless from fear as Steve walked into the room. I desperately tried to keep my composure as Steve pulled out his things and we began studying. I kept tripping over my numbers as we went on, barely able to keep focus. I couldn't stop shaking, and I wouldn't dare look Steve in the eyes.

I couldn't comprehend what was happening, why would Steve have a gay magazine? Maybe he was curious after what happened between he and I. But there was no way he could be gay, I've seen the way he is with girls, he's like an idol to them. I couldn't deal with all of the drama anymore and ended up asking Steve to take me home early.

"Why, whats wrong?" he asked me.

"I, I guess this whole argument with Damien is just getting to me, I just need to clear my head" I lied.

"Well if you wanna talk about it we can, trust me I've had my fair share of relationship problems" He chuckled.

"No it's ok, I just need to lie down for a while" I told him. I felt bad as Steve drove me home more than an hour early, but every second I was with him was more and more nerve wrenching. I could barely say goodbye to him as I jumped out of the car and went inside, retreating to the haven of my bedroom once more. It felt like the entire world was spiraling downwards. I didn't go down to eat dinner when mom called for me, and I just put on my bed clothes and went to sleep.

The days following the magazine incident were progressively worse. Damien wouldn't leave me alone, and kept trying to act like nothing was wrong. And I was having so much trouble helping Steve that I felt like I was dropping down to his level, making simple mistakes everywhere. Soon Steve picked up on this and he could tell something was wrong.

"Dude you've been spacing a lot lately, is everything alright?" He asked as we were studying in his room.

"I don't know, I guess I've never felt so uncertain before" I told him.

"About what?" He wondered.

"I keep feeling like I'm delaying the inevitable with Damien, like he'll win me over somehow no matter what I do. Whats worse is I'm doubting my ability to say no to people, I guess when we started going out, I was so excited that I could have someone who cared about me, that I didn't really care how much of a say I had in the relationship. Like it wouldn't matter if he told me what to do, I would still have him at my side, but I don't want that to happen." I admitted.

"Well I had a similar problem with my ex, she always wanted so much out of me and I just couldn't handle it. And when I told her I had to think about things she just gave up on me. At least your guy's still fighting for you" He smiled. I felt a bit of relief knowing he understood what I was going through. But I still felt the incident with the magazine hanging over me, and the weight of it was unbearable. I made a decision, that I would just have to take more risks in life, instead of hiding like a pathetic little coward. I wouldn't hide behind Roy anymore, and I would face my problems head on. And I would start with relieving myself of my heaviest burden.

"Steve, I have to make a confession, and I don't want you to get mad or freak out or anything." I told him.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Well, earlier this week, when I came in here, there was something poking out of your bed, I took it out... and... well... I saw it." I managed, trying my hardest not to look away from him. His face went to a state of shock, his eyes completely static, and his breathing inaudible. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to invade your privacy or anything, but I felt like I had to tell you" I added. He looked away from be at that point, his eyes expressing a deep pain within him. We sat there quietly for a few moments, and I started packing my things, not wanting Steve to get angry with me as he had last time. AS I was crouched down and was putting my books away, I felt Steve stand up behind me. Before I could turn around to look, I was pushed and slammed against the carpet, completely disorientating me. Before I could look up at him I felt a something warm press against my lips. As I looked in front of me I saw Steve, his arms on my shoulders, and his lips pressed against mine. I was paralyzed with an abundance of emotions, strongest of which was shock. I pushed him off of me in desperation and grabbed my things as I headed for the door. Before I could leave I felt his paws clasp my shoulders, his claws almost digging into me as he held them tight.

"Please...this is my one chance... to know for sure" He breathed. I slowly turned my head around, purely out of curiosity.

"To know what?" I asked in a trembling voice.

"Whether or not....I'm... like you" He stammered. I felt myself growing weaker as he held me, my arms practically melting in his grip. "Please... just let me do it...one more time" he begged. I saw the desperation in his eyes, and against my better judgment, I dropped my bag on the floor. I felt him release me from his grip, and I turned around and faced him. I could see he was uncertain and I refused to have the same thing that happened before happen again.

"Ok, you do whatever you want, but I'm not making any moves, this is purely up to you" I told him confidently. That notion seemed to frighten him a bit, but soon he stepped up to me, running his hand through my hair before pressing his lips against mine. I felt him press his tongue inside my mouth, exploring it as his hands made their way across my back. I just stood there, not making any motions or movements, but Steve moved my hands onto his shoulders so I kissed him back and assumed thats what he wanted. After a few moment we broke the kiss and he was trembling, with either fear or excitement, or both. There was a bit of an awkward silence as we both stood there, Steve seeming unsure of what to do next. He went over to his door and locked it, turning back to me and shuffling his hands nervously.

"So...what should I do?" He asked, his voice dry and crackly from being so anxious.

"Like I said, you can do whatever you want, if you want me to do something then tell me, but I'm not making any moves this time" I sterned.

"But...are you sure? I mean do you really wanna do this?" He asked.

"The question isn't whether or not I want to, it's whether or not YOU want to. I don't mind doing this, I consider you a good friend, so If you really want to do this then I'll cooperate" I replied. He thought to himself for a moment before slowly taking his shorts off, revealing a black pair of briefs with a semi erect member underneath.

"Can you...touch it for me?" He questioned nervously. I walked over to him and began massing his cock, getting it hard as it began to poke out of his briefs. He put his hand on mine an guided it over his length, rubbing and caressing his package as he breathed heavily. Soon he let go of my hand and quickly pulled his briefs down and took his shirt off. Exposing his extremely masculine form, his heavy nuts sagging below his hard throbbing member.

"Can you...take your's off too? I feel weird with just me being naked" He chuckled, seeming to be a little more confident about what he was doing. I slide out of my pants and shirt, leaving only my blue pair of briefs on. He walked up to me and rubbed his paws across my body, his breaths shuddering as he gazed upon my form. He slipped his thumbs under the elastic and slipped my underwear off, exposing my member as well. I stepped out of them and tossed them aside as I watched him towering over me, his ripped chest almost too tempting for me. He delicately felt my length, causing me to grip his shoulders in reaction. He chuckled slightly as he toyed with my package, just rubbing and prodding at my package.

"Sorry, it's just I've never seen a humans junk before" He laughed, almost seeming like he was having fun at this point. I felt my face get red as he played with me, embarrassed by my puny human anatomy. His hands went back to my body and he lightly pushed me onto the bed, causing me to be face to crotch with him.

"Um... god man... I feel so weird about doing this, are you sure you're ok? I mean I don't want to take advantage of you or anything."He muddered, rubbing the back of his head in frustration.

"Just do what feels right, If I'm not comfortable with something I'll tell you" I told him. He pumped his cock a few times as he placed a paw on the back of my head, slowly letting his cock into my mouth. He humped my mouth lightly for a few moments, moaning softly as I sucked his dick. I felt his free hand grab mine and place it under his sac, rubbing softly for a few moments and leaving me to do it alone. He put my other hand on his rump and squeezed hard, moaning even louder as he did. He then put both of his hands on the back of my head, sweetly rubbing and grazing his claws across my cheek as his pace quickened and his moans became consecutive grunts. I put both of my hands on his rump and let his nuts sink into him as he fucked my mouth, his cock ramming against the back of my throat. He abruptly stopped and pushed me down flat on the bed, crawling over me until his crotch was hanging over me. He eased his cock down into my mouth and humped wildly, a river of pre escaping from the tip of his flared member. His grunt became louder and I could feel his climax approaching, the tip of his cock swelling and the throbbing much stronger. I pulled him deep into my mouth as he clenched his teeth and heaved, grunting heavily as I felt hot cum splashing into my mouth. I kept his cock pressed tightly against my throat, letting it all run down and swallowing the excess that went into my mouth. I sucked on his cock for a few moments after, his breathing heavy and heaving as he let me drain his member. I leaned up and gave him a look of uncertainty as I watched him try to catch his breath. He surprised me as he crawled over and put his shoulder around me, looking ahead as if trying to think of what to say.

"Josh...thank you" He breathed as he encouragingly rubbed my shoulder.

"So... do you think you're...gay?" I asked him.

"I can't really say for now, I mean that was incredible, but I'm still doubting myself. But hey... I think it was really cool of you to do that for me." He said, kissing me on the cheek. "I mean, sex is one thing, but... when I kissed you just now, I still feel that mixed up confused feeling, so I can't so for sure if I'm really gay or not" He pouted as he walked over to put his clothes on. I went and got dressed as well, and Steve suggested he take me home. Surprisingly as we drove to my house he talked to me the same as before we messed around. And he even asked to come over to study the next Monday. I didn't think about Roy, or Damien, all I could think about was this newfound confidence I had. I didn't let other people come before myself, and I felt better for that. As I went to bed that night, I questioned myself for a brief moment, hoping that I had truly done what I did with Steve out of my willingness to help a friend, and not out of desperation for someone to hold to. I shook my head and smiled, I wasn't just some slut, I did what I did because I truly felt bad for Steve, and I wanted to clear all the tension and confusion between the two of us.

I laid down and thought about Damien, and considered whether or not I wanted to give him another chance. As I thought, my mind drifted into the darkness, the chaos that lingered now still and serene, making it clear of what path I should take.