And when I threw away the key...
#6 of If I could be your chew-toy: Based on a True Story.
***Stupid Disclaimer Thingy***
Everything you see here, came from my brain. The characters, the scenery, the situations... Everything. Any coincidences like character similarities, name usages, or scenes are utterly just that. Coincidence. Nobody likes getting ripped off.
Also, this story contains romance, love, and graphic interaction between members of the same sex. not your bag? I request you leave. Nobody likes hate-spam.
Otherwise Enjoy It^^
***
You just won't give up, will you?
Or maybe it's me who refuses...
Either way, I can't see this ending well.
Because that's what's going to happen... isn't it?
It's going... to end...
"What the hell are you doing here..." I tried to sound angry. Like I didn't want him anywhere near me. Like I'd rather... jump out of a moving car going down the highway or something.
"I heard what happened..." He sounded sorry. His ears were peeled back and his finger armor was nowhere to be seen. He held a box of heart-shaped chocolates in a heart shaped box, tied with a pretty pink bow. "I heard some other things too..."
"Like what," My tone still hadn't gone. I truly was angry at him. Mostly for making me guess this whole time like I was his bitch to begin with, but the look in his eyes made everything seem like I made an ass out of my self.
"I was with Jenna today," He started with.
Big mistake.
He must have seen the twitch I felt my eye give off at the sound of that name as ten thousand more needles pierced my chest.
He continued. "She told me everything..."
"She what?" I tried to cut him off, but he just kept talking.
"She told me how I'm your world. How you're basically in love with me. And how your trying to destroy yourself because it can't happen."
The breath was cut from my windpipe at the thought of what he said. Not only had he dashed my dreams without realizing it apparently, but Jenna was no longer in confidence. Everything I've told her now was cast to the wind. The rantings, the problems...
My brain plotted away to murder her. In actuality I had nothing to do with it. It had gone on autopilot while I tried to think of something to rebuttal with.
"You mean," I squeaked. "That the Sunday you held me meant nothing...?"
"I feel bad about that," He said putting the chocolates down. He padded over to the chair beside my bed. "It's not that I purposely used you... it was only cuddlingâ€""
"You have no right to say that," I growled, feeling my head start to ache under the bandages. "Just because it was an "experiment" to you doesn't mean that's what it was to me. You made me fly that night, and what did you do afterwards? You flung me off a cliff as my wax wings melted away."
"I wouldn't call it an experimentâ€"" He tried to defend, but I was throwing too many punches. I had been thinking about this and this alone since it happened, and to me, it seemed like he had only put about an hours worth in. It was going to get ugly.
And I needed it.
"What exactly WOULD you fucking call it then?" I shouted at him. I could feel my meds wearing off, probably do to the excess of adrenaline pumping through my veins now.
I waited for him to answer, but he kept that pathetic expression of self-pity on.
"Your right," He finally said. "You were, as you say, and experiment, but I didn't want it to be this way."
"What the fuck does that mean?"
"It means that I wanted to like you," he whimpered. I was verbally kicking the shit out of him, and he wasn't used to being cornered. "I did, I really did. But I like women, Felix, I can't help that."
"So you just put on that pissy expression and just push me away at your convenience? Just because of an excuse?!"
"I never asked for you to like me," He started to defend.
"I never asked for you to lead me on either!" And I chopped his head off. The rise in his chest fell as he looked to the floor again.
"Look, I feel awful, okay?"
"How EXACTLY do you think I'm feeling right now?!" I put my cast up to show him. "I've been up to my cheeks in tears for you. I broke my laptop because of you. I lost my CELL PHONE because of youâ€""
"It's not my fault you have temper issues," He sighed. His body language beckoned him to take his leave, but I wasn't about to let that happen.
"You think this is normal for me?!" I made him look me in the eye. "Aiden, if you hadn't been such a coward and expelled these feelings out of me before I could fall for you, none of this would have happenedâ€""
"How exactly could I do that?!" He started matching my volume. "Huh?!"
"Take the cuddling," I replied as if it were basic math. "If You didn't like it, you could have just said "Hey Felix, this is weird, I don't think I like you like that" rather then letting me think I had a CHANCE WITH YOU!"
"You would have been angry though..." I said.
"So? 5 minutes of angry, vs... oh right, ME IN A CAST!!" I let out a huge sigh. "Good choice, man."
"Look," He tried to say. It looked like he was about to cry. "I'm sorry, alright? I really... trulyâ€""
"I'm past you saying sorâ€"" And before I knew it...
He was kissing me.
***
"You WHAT?!" Alex was sitting at my bedside three days after the incident. I still can't help but think that it was all just a cruel dream, but it felt so real... Even the wind on my face as he quickly released and took off, leaving the chocolates exploding on the floor as the fell from the chair.
"Yeah, I can't believe it happened either..." I replied, feeling myself blush.
"Did any of the nurses see you??" If Alex had a tail, it'd be wagging nonstop. And it kind of freaked me out that he was so excited about it...
"Heck no," I scoffed. "It was at like... three in the morning..."
"What did you do with the... ya know?" He looked around. "Leftovers?"
"In a tissue in the garbage, just like at home?" I said, raising an eyebrow. "I wouldn't just throw it on the floor...?"
"I can't believe you masturbated in a hospitel..."
Yeah... I sort of didn't tell him about what happened... He'd of strangled me. Called me retarded. An idiot... And I really didn't need that at the time. What I needed was a cheeseburger. And a gun. To shoot myself with for actually letting Aiden kiss me.
Something must have tipped Alex off, because he was looking at me funny. That sort of concerned yet curious look that he always wore when he was on to something. Basically the same reason he always failed at poker.
"You okay?" He asked me. A probe question.
"Well I'm in, and will be in, this place for another week and a half..." I replied, being as vague as I could. "What do you think?"
"Has Jenna come to visit you yet?"
The question took me by surprise. I sighed. "No..."
"That's the answer I was looking for," Alex smiled. "Everything's going to be cool. You know that? I mean, even Aiden can't get you in here."
"IGNORANT ASS!" I shouted in my head. Ugh...
"You'll be over the both of them before you getâ€"" Alex put a paw on my shoulder before I rolled over.
"It's going to take me a while to get over both of them." I said. "The bridges I have to burn are massive... And I'm not even sure I have enough matches to do the job..."
"Ahh, what you need is someone else to put your focus on!" Alex's fake joy of a tone sort of sickened me. I knew he was hurting as bad as I was just watching all of this. Which basically made my side worse watching him... And so on and so forth...
"Whatever you say, mate," I put my head into my pillow. "Anyways, I'm tired. You should probably go now."
"Nah," Alex said. Stubborn as fucking always. "I think I'll watch you sleep."
"You get off to that sort of shit, don't you..." Was my only response before I nestled into my pillows and got comfortable.
I don't even remember him replying. Probably because I was focusing so much on the feeling of bear lips on my face...
***
"Shhh!" Was the noise that stirred me. Adrenaline started pumping instantly as I tried my best to keep still like I hadn't been disturbed. "Ugh, just get the camera in here, okay?!"
"But Jill!" Came the response. "I'm doin' the freakin' best I can, kay?!"
"Oh my god must you be soâ€""
"I thought there was sign on the door saying "No interviews"...?" I shouted, my eyes still closed.
I knew these two. They were from my class, Jill Montana, a shrew, and Ross Rodregan, a mouse. They were the only rodents, after all, in the class, so they kept together like they were dating, when really Ross was just Jill's bitch.
"I didn't see a sign?" Jill did her best to stay innocent, and to here defense there wasn't really a sign on the door, but I had been in here for 2 weeks now and I needed someone to fuck with to keep my head off of... other incidents.
"Well it's out there, ya know." I tried my best to keep my smile back, but in the end it popped open. "Don't you remember what Professor Slack said about interviewing the mentally unstable?"
I could feel Ross start to shake. God, it was like eating cheesecake... And I had to savor every moment.
"You aren't defined as mentally unstable?" Jill said. Her interviewer persona was fully erect, and she was thrusting as best as she could, but I could feel her doubtful side grabbing her. All I had to do was feed it.
"Would you say," I said, slowly rising my body up, midsection first, keeping one eye closed, the other on my target. "Jumping out of a car going down the highway is something a..." I paused for effect, surveying their body language. "... sane person would do?"
I stopped moving as soon as the last syllable left my lips, waiting for a reply like a predator ready to pounce. Jill just shook her head violently and back up a couple steps.
"How do you think I got these burns?" I asked her. My pads were on the floor, cooling like ice as I felt the IV tubes start to pull. The heart monitor beeps were increasing as the room's temperature seemingly escalated. Her eyes stayed transfixed to mine in a hypnotic tango of terror as Ross creeped every so slightly to the door.
"Iâ€"" She uttered.
"You...?" I whispered back, lowering myself to all fours, which seemed sort of stupid, seeing as my cast permanently bent my arm inwards, so it was more like all threes and an elbow, but Jill didn't seem to notice. The fur on her neck was probably standing straight up. I know mine was.
"RUN ROSS!" She threw her clipboard as me, hitting me right in the temple. "RUN!! GET THE NURSE!! HE'S
MAD!!"
"Ow, you dumb slut...?" I said, regaining composure as I stood up again. Blood started seeping through the gauze on my forehead enough for it to run on my paw as I rubbed it.
And all I could do was chuckle as a nurse ran in. A panther by the name of Tiffany. Apparently she had been keeping a close watch on me every since I was checked in. Alex willed it so.
"What the hell are you doing out of your bed?!" She screamed, picking up the clipboard that somehow ricocheted off my head all the way to the door.
"Can't a guy stretch his legs?" I smiled, still on the adrenaline high of scaring the piss out of classmates I had never talked to before.
"Sure he can?" She replied, showing me her ringed paw. "But not fellas who jump outta jeeps! Now get back in the bed before I smack ya one!"
"Okay," I smiled, feeling good for once in a million years. I had never done something like that before. Just gone on an instinct and played it out, devouring others feelings to substitute my own.
It felt good, but not right. I was like a schoolyard bully pulling peoples pants down for money and a feeling of power. And I wasn't that insecure.
Still though, I felt pretty awesome. To the point where it sort of scared me... This wasn't who I was...
"Could I be... Changing?" I thought to myself.
I suddenly shook myself out of it.
I was just bored... Sitting on a hospital waiting to be released back into real life again. Back into my problems that cause me to jump out of moving vehicles. Back to reality.
Suddenly my hospital bed seemed like the most comfortable place in the world.
And I didn't want out.
But my healing body willed it so, and a week later I was pitched. Alex had visited a couple billion times more and a few other classmates came by to get a quick word. Most were insincere to the point where I felt like feigning insanity again and sticking my IV needles in the neck, but once I was out the revolving front door, I remembered what the sun felt like on my face.
"I want to go back inside," I groaned.
"Oh come on," Alex chuckled, patting me on the back.
They started weaning me off of the painkillers that were being fed to me through a tube and replaced them with these shit pills that only worked like 5% of the time, so when anything touched me it hurt. To the point where I wanted to punch Alex for that back-pat, which would hurt me more then him, which would make me punch him more...
*sigh* And it'd be an endless circle of pain that would result in the world exploding. So I held my temper and just growled, which he didn't seem to notice.
"So I got you a present," Alex said with a smile. "I talked to your professors and what not and they sort ofâ€"" He paused. "Felix?"
I was frozen 3 steps behind him.
"Felix, what's wrong?"
But the words were ripped from my throat. There, not twenty feet away, was Jenna. And who was with her?
None other then Aiden.
He held her up against a tree, massaging her body as they kissed. Jenna's eyes clenched as she seemingly tried to get him to stop, but gave up a few seconds later and embraced it.
That's when Alex pulled me, by the shirt, into a bush. The tumble nearly killed me. Or at least that's what it felt like. Even though I pretty much wished for it after what I just saw. Even the sound of her voice nearly made me vomit.
"Aiden, stop!" She giggled.
"Oh come on, he can wait can't he?"
"He's supposed to get out soon, and I can't exactly let him see me like this?"
"What? With your shirt off?"
They were coming closer, holding each other close as if by magnet. Alex was speechless, which was good because I probably would have screamed at him. I would have screamed at anyone. Nothing coherent of course, just pointless drivel. My blood was boiling. I couldn't think. Everything kept switching from black and white to color again and all I could hear was a slight wining sound from inside my head. Like a tea kettle going off.
"I can't stay away from you," Aiden said. They were pretty much standing in front of us, breaking me by the site of it all. They were so fucking oblivious.
"Give me your phone..." I said to Alex.
"Whatâ€""
"GIVE me..." It was so hard to keep my voice to a whisper... And it was even harder to keep it from shaking. "...your phone..."
"But whyâ€""
If I had laser-death vision, he'd be cooked right now, because the mere shot of venom that I ejected with my glare made him do exactly what I told him to. He dug in his pocket as I kept watering eyes on the only two people I could ever truly murder at this point in my life.
He slide his phone open and handed it over. In one move, I clicked the camera button, emerged out of the bush, and snapped it just as their lips made contact.
The shudder sound exploded as Jenna saw me first. The image recorded a moment in time that would make romance novels shine, and all I could do was sit there and focus on the tears running down my face.
"F... Felix..." She gasped, trying to get as much distance from the boy I used to love as possible. "...why are you... in a bush?"
Aiden turned around, looked at the phone in my hand, and stood utterly speechless.
"It's..." Jenna stuttered, stalling under the pressure. "It's NOT what it looked like!"
"Then what is it," I said, so quietly angry I felt my fist absent-mindedly form, cracking as it did so.
"There's nothing betweenâ€""
"Don't lie to me, Jenna," I cut her off. The cold in my voice froze her as she scanned my body, looking for something to change the subject on. But I could tell she was drawing a blank. The amount of mental energy I was putting out to hold me ground was enormous, even though I was breaking down in front of them. "How... How could you..."
"It hasn't been that long, okay?" Jenna said. "I needed someoneâ€""
"YOU HAVE SOMEONE!" My words erupted like a volcano. "Or should I say... had."
"What do you mean...?" Jenna eyed me in that "GTFO" sort of way. That's when she suddenly stepped towards me. "What do you MEAN, Felix?"
"You never did break up with him did you...?" I tried my best to smile, but my voice just shook as the river down my face kept flowing.
"Break up with who?" Aiden asked before an abrupt "SHH!" came from Jenna
"I'm going to need to erase that picture," Jenna said. "What I have with him, compared to what I have with Aiden...? There's no fucking contest."
"Well," I replied with before I started walking. "What I had with you compared to what I'm about to do to you... There's no fucking contest there either."
Jenna looked shocked, as if she didn't understand how bitter I was. As if she just expected me to hand it over, like I would have done a month ago. When she was my everything. My best friend, my straight girlfriend... Now I was about to make her whole world plummet.
"Felix, I can't let youâ€""
"This is out of your paws now," Alex came out, quick and merciless as he kept her glare at bay with his.
"Well look who comes out of the bush?" Jenna suddenly put on a new smile. "Won't what's-her-face be so... crushed to hear this?" She pulled out her phone as if ready to annihilate a planet. "Hey Lindsay, guess who I saw your boyfriend making out with in a bush by the hospital?"
"Don't flatter yourself," Alex chuckled, taking me by the shoulder. "Lindsay thinks your shit. Sort of like me, but worse. We've been trying for ages to show Felix what a bitch you are. But in the end, I guess we had our work cut out for us."
I was speechless. The argument going on behind me wasn't even computing anymore. I couldn't bare it. I was dehydrated from crying so much already, I ached all over, and I could barely hold on to the phone in my paw anymore.
Impassable feelings clogged my brain like tumors and my heart felt like it wasn't there anymore. All that kept me feeling alive was the bruising, and even that started fading away. I couldn't be angry anymore. I could even muster the will to walk, which fell mostly upon Alex to try to get me through.
"I'll get you back for this," Jenna shouted, taking Aiden's paw and heading the other direction. "I'll fucking get you back for this Felix!?"
"I haven't done anything yet," I tried shouted back, but my vocal chords were numb. "I haven't... don't
anything yet..."
"I know," Alex said, taking most of my body weight in stride. "Let's get you home, okay?" He smiled my way,
but I didn't care. "How about some pizza for dinner tonight?"
"I need my phone..." I sighed hoarsely.
"I know," Alex said. "I kept it, don't worry."
"Where?"
"I have this naughty drawer..." Alex chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.
Another look back showed I was no longer conscious.
***
"Hello?"
It was Todd's voice. I had only heard it once when I first met him. Jenna clung to his arm like a cheep hooker and there was energy trance playing in the background.
"Hey Todd, it's Felix," I said, coughing after each sentence. "I know this may seem awkward, but I need to talk to you about some things..."
"Hey Felix, long time!" He sounded happy. "Sure, bud, what's going on?"
"Can you meet me somewhere tomorrow?"
"Ummm," Papers rustled in the background. "Yeah, is everything okay?"
"Everything's fine," I lied. "I just need to show you something, that's all."
"How's 4 sound?"
"Prefect."
*Click*
I put my scratched-to-hell phone in my pocket before I walked into my room for the first time in what felt like forever. My bed was made, everything was cleaned up, and something out of place lay on my desk.
It had a bow placed upon it beside a hand-written card.
"Break this one, I kill you, kay?" It read, making me smile as I looked at my brand new laptop.
***
It speaks for itself. I'm know some people are going to be pissed at the cliffhangers, in that good "I wanna know!!!" why of couse >.<, but I regrettably would like to inform you that the best is probably saved for last. So yeah, I hope ya'll enjoyed it =D. It's gettin' heated!
=Pup