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Sightless

Part 2

copyright 2018 comidacomida

Lindsey and I spent a lot of time together over the next couple of months. She'd hang out with me almost every day I was at the park and it was a welcome change from my self-isolation. We'd talk about past events, current events, and even spent more than a few days talking about what we'd both come to hope as my future in reentering college. It took some getting used to when I had to consider what I wanted to do with my education; since I was no longer "a good fit" for college soccer I needed to rethink the direction I would take. Assuming that our case would succeed, of course.

We continued meeting in the park and, thanks to my almost fanatical adherence to my mom's work schedule I can't remember missing even a single day. Lindsey, however, ended up taking summer term classes and that meant I would be sitting alone in the park on Wednesdays. I can't ever remember hating any day of the week more than I hated Wednesdays during summer term. Sure, I'd spent months trying to keep to myself but, in those several weeks when I'd really gotten to know her, Lindsey became a very important part of it. That only grew more evident when I surprised my mom one Friday evening with an introduction.

Lindsey usually left to head home from our meetings around five and my mom normally showed up about twenty or thirty minutes after that but on that particular day my (unoffical) girlfriend stayed a little longer than usual. I recognized my mom's footsteps as she drew near the bench even through Lindsey's laugh (even after two months she still got a kick out of some of my more demeaning lawyer jokes). My mom called to me from a few steps behind us and off to the side. "Ray? Everything okay?"

I heard Lindsey turn around but I didn't need to look to see my mom (blindness teaches you to rely on your other senses and I didn't really feel inclined to do the polite look-at-who-you're-speaking-to thing. "Just fine, mom."

Her steps drew even closer and I was lashed by Lindsey's tail. She had never been a shy Husky so she was more than happy to greet my mom. "Hi! You must be RJ's mom."

I spoke before my mom could respond. "Hey mom. This is Lindsey. She's a friend of mine. We met awhile back."

Lindsey stood up as my mom drew nearer and I was surprised when I heard the tell-tale sound of my mom hugging her; my mom's always been a hugger. "Oh! It's SO nice to meet you, Lindsey! I'm glad that RJ is spending time outside the house. You must be the reason he's always so eager to come here when I'm at work."

If you don't have a parent who finds ways to embarrass you then you obviously don't pay enough attention to your social standing. I had to provide polite correction. "I like coming here because it helps me calm my mind."

Unfortunately Lindsey wasn't really on my side. "AND because he enjoys hanging out with someone who doesn't mind how often he complains about... well... everything."

My mom fell immediately silent at that. She'd been living with me since I went blind and she had never joked about my disability, my mood, or my outlook and I can only imagine how worried that she was about how I'd respond. I wonder if she was surprised when I laughed, or if she was more surprised at my counter. "Well you're probably the best audience for my bitching, so the least I could do is put some effort into the performance."

I lost track of the conversation after that. My mom walked back to her car with me to my left and Lindsey walked back with us to her left. They continued talking in that lengthy, story-telling, anecdotal way that some of the more gregarious folks do. It hadn't been that long since I was one of them but, to be honest, it'd been a long day and I was starting to get just a little self-conscious about my mom and my (still unofficial) girlfriend talking.

We said our goodbyes as we got into my mom's car and I closed the door. A moment later I heard two knuckles wrapping on the window so I lowered it. Lindsey spoke up. "See you on Monday, kay?"

"Sure. See you Mo--"

My reply was cut short when I heard her blouse ruffle as she leaned in and I felt her cold nose on my cheek, followed by a kiss from her furred muzzle. If you hadn't noticed, I've taken great care to point out that Lindsey was NOT an official girlfriend at that point but after we pulled out of the parking lot my mom certainly didn't get that. "I like Lindsey, Ray. She's good for you... I can tell."

I rolled my eyes. "It's not like that, mom... and don't look at me like that."

To be honest, I couldn't be sure she was looking at me but, based on the fact that I heard her voice far more directly than the faint echo accompanying it when she was talking facing the windshield gave me a pretty good indication that she was staring. Her faint huff combined with the tone of a liar in her voice reaffirmed that I was more-likely-than-not totally right. "I'm not!"

Realizing I had to take control of the conversation, I provided some clarification. "Anyway, Lindsey and I have been talking a lot about me going back into college."

My mom sounded elated. "Really? That's great, honey! If you need help with student loan papers or anything I--"

"No... her dad's a lawyer and she thinks that the college didn't have a right to take back my scholarship. She seems to think there's a real chance that I might get reinstated as a student without them being able to take back the funding."

She was definitely excited; my mom always talks faster when she's excited. "Oh, thank god! That would make a huge difference! Still, even if nothing comes of it, the fact that you're talking about what you want to do next is a great sign!"

I agreed, but I couldn't just let it sit at that without giving my mom at least a LITTLE bit of grief. "A great sign of what?"

My mom has always had a way of being able to flip the script, and, rather than getting flustered by my demanding inquisition, she turned it right around back toward my discomfort. "That Lindsey is a good influence on you. Next time you two get together you should ask if she's single."

"Jesus, mom!"

Her words were so self-gratifying and I heard her shrug. "I'm just saying..."

* * * * *

It wasn't long after that when I met Lindsey's family face-to-face. I'd spoken with her dad a few times on speaker phone with her around to make introductions; he seemed full-on professional and 'with-it' so I figured it wouldn't be any big deal to finally sit down with him in person. I was wrong in a lot of ways.

Lindsey had stopped by the apartment before my mom went to work to pick me up. According to her the plan was to go for breakfast and then meet her dad at his office to have a general discussion about my situation and see if I had a reasonable case. We were sitting in Denny's having a perfectly good meal when her cell went off. I heard her rummaging around in her purse before she paused, then spoke up casually "Scuse me for a minute-- looks like it's my dad. Hi, Daddy!"

Some people say that, when you go blind your other senses become more acute. I think there's SOME truth in that, but most of it is that you're learning to rely on them more so being able to see doesn't distract you as much. I couldn't hear what he was saying on the other line but I could still pick up the tone in his voice, and in hers. "Oh. Okay.... well-- no. No... that's fine. I-- you mean... today? In an hour? Yeah-- no-- no... sure. An hour's fine. See you then, Daddy."

I could tell something threw her off a little about the quick talk so I decided to cut the ice with some humor. "You still call your dad 'Daddy'? Does he call you 'Princess'?"

Her tail gave a few tentative wags against the back of the booth. "Nah... Princess is my younger sister-- Princess of the swans."

"That sound slike some kind of Swan Lake reference to me."

Her laugh was heartfelt and her tail beat a little more genuinely. "Looks like someone's rubbing off on you, Tchaikovsky."

I knew exactly what she meant: before we'd been spending so much time together I didn't know a thing about classical music but, after hearing her talk so much about her mom's interest (and her own) on the matter I'd picked up a few things. Pyotir Tchaikovsky, for example, was the composer of Swan Lake, which he wrote in the late 1800s. I remember her playing a piece of the ballet music for me once. It wasn't bad, I guess.

Regardless, the little exchange didn't really address the phone call, or her hesitance when dealing with it. "So... everything okay?"

Her response came pretty quickly. "Sure! Great!"

I knew something had her a little distracted. "What's wrong? If we were going to meet him in a few hours at his office he wouldn't call you now if everything's 'great'."

The last word I added verbal quotations around for her benefit. Apparently it worked, and her response started with a sigh. "It's fine, RJ... Daddy has an important appointment he has to handle before lunch so he asked if we could meet in an hour."

It really DIDN'T sound that bad. What she DIDN'T tell me was that we'd be meeting him somewhere other than his office. THAT I learned after breakfast when we pulled up and I could hear the tell-tale sounds of a suburb rather than a commercial area. "Hey, Lindsey? Where are we, exactly? This doesn't sound like an office parking lot, and I'm pretty sure you parked on a street curb."

I got out of the car on my own and she helped me negotiate the curb before saying. "Yeah... when my dad agreed to meet us before his other meeting he asked if we could meet with him here at home."

Only in that moment did I realize that we weren't alone. A deep voice spoke up from ahead of me and to the right. "So... this is the Raymond McCaffrey you told me about?"

Lindsey's pleasant tone remained consistent, even as she told her dad off. "Daddy, I already told you, he goes by RJ."

The commanding, self-confidence voice didn't deviate in the least and I heard the sound of him step closer, followed by what sounded like the ruffling of a sports coat as he extended an arm. "Hello, Mr. McCaffrey, my name is He-Has-The-Will, but you can call me Sir."

The sound of an elbow-hitting-ribs followed by a half-exhale told me everything I needed to know about what Lindsey thought about that, not to mention her follow-up. "Cut it out, Daddy-- you're embarrassing me. Don't listen to him, RJ... just call him Will."

I was on uneven footing; while I wanted to believe that Lindsey wouldn't lead me astray, I also didn't want to make a bad first impression. Reaching out, I managed to connect with the offered paw (more likely he closed the gap so neither of us would look like a fool). "It's a pleasure to meet you, Sir."

Lindsey's eye-roll was almost audible. "Oh Daddy... see? You've gone and got him all insecure... you and your stupid posturing."

An amiable, deep-bellied laugh along with a slightly stronger squeeze of my hand by a large, leathery paw pad gave me the impression that Lindsey's dad or, 'Will', as I was apparently supposed to call him was just razzing me. I jumped when I felt a paw slap me on the back. "You go inside and see your Mom, Lynn... she's been waiting to say hi. I'll bring our guest in right behind you."

I couldn't help but wonder. "Lynn?"

She answered before he could. "It's his little-puppy name for me... he's used it ever since I could remember. Just another common name."

It made sense. "Oh, right... like Lindsey, but shorter."

The sound of her readily moving to comply with her request got me just a little concerned in the off-chance that the Husky in front of me was a two-faced asshole waiting for his daughter to disappear before telling me off (I'd seen plenty of it during my time in college). I was ready to do all the head-nodding and reassuring I needed to throw his way, but the first thing he said caught me off guard. "Okay... so you're really blind."

It wasn't exactly what I expected him to say. Honestly, I knew that Lindsey had discussed my situation with him but I didn't think he'd jump right into things. "Uh... yes?"

The confident, commanding, professional tone faltered for just a moment and I realized that I'd actually caught HIM off guard. "Oh! No-- I didn't-- I mean..." He let out sigh. "Let me try this again..."

Suddenly shifting roles in the conversation really threw me off balance-- I mean that figuratively, but I DID almost trip walking up to their house... I guess they have old fashioned cobble stones going through their yard or something. Will, who'd been shadowing me up the walkway reached out and steadied me. "Careful."

Once I was able to regain my balance (again, literally and figuratively) I invited him to try again. "Thanks. And sure... but you have to give me the courtesy of a do-over at some point when I get my foot in my mouth."

He laughed. "We have a deal."

Will took the time to explain himself on the way to the door. "I'm not trying to sound like a jerk when I mentioned the blindness, I'm just worried about my little girl. Lindsey's always been the kind of puppy who has wanted to help people and sometimes it comes back to bite her in the tail."

I interrupted him at that. "She's a young woman, not a puppy."

Her dad laughed. "What I meant was, RJ, that Lindsey's always had people to look after. She's a natural helper and champions all sorts of causes. She likes helping people, and she wants to be able to make a difference. She's a sucker for charity cases, and I've seen it blow up in her face too many times to NOT be worried about her over this kind of thing."

On one hand, I realized that'd make things easier since I wouldn't have to go through the whole boyfriend-meeting-the-family thing, but, on the other, I hated being seen as a beggar. "Oh, sure. I understand. We have very clear boundaries and I'm not in the habit of accepting endless amounts of charity. I haven't asked her to make you do this for free or anything, I mean. I'm not looking for hand-outs or--"

Will's paw clasped down on my shoulder. "Relax, RJ... this isn't a sales pitch. Lindsey asked if I could look into your case and I said yes. Chances are it won't take more than a strongly worded letter to get the college to overrule their decision but, even if it does, this is EXACTLY the kind of thing I champion on my own time. Three steps up here."

He did a good job of guiding me as we approached the house. I navigated the steps and I was squarely on what felt like a wooden porch before I inquired about his statement. "So... you're used to cases like this? Do you handle a lot of this kind of thing?"

His professional voice returned in a vengeance, as if he were used to explaining his occupation by rote. "My firm handles a variety of cases including business and family law, arbitration and mediation, discrimination, and some aspects of civil liability. My focus is on arbitration and mediation but I do handle a large number of discrimination cases."

I had a basic understanding of what all that meant but a lot of it went over my head. "Oh... wow. So... what firm do you work for, Will?"

The sound of a smirk was evident in his voice. "My own. I'm one of two senior attorneys at the Offices of Will & Wei."

The joke was a bad one; obvious dad humor. "The Will and Way? Like, where there's a will there's a way?"

His response didn't suggest that he saw the humor in it. "Will & Wei. I am He-Has-the-Will and my partner, Henry Wei. W-E-I."

It wasn't until he spelled it out for me that I realized my mistake. "Oh. Sorry."

I heard his sports coat bunch up as he shrugged. "I get that a lot... doesn't mean it doesn't get old after awhile... but I appreciate the apology."

I couldn't remember the last time my opinion of someone went back and forth so quickly or, for that matter, my understanding of where I stood with them. Once we got into the house things didn't get much easier; I still had a mother and a younger sister to meet. Lindsey's mom, Carla seemed just as unreadable as her dad, probably because she didn't know what to make of me either. On the upside, at least she was calm and courteous and a very good hostess; I'm pretty sure that I'd managed to impress her with a comment about recognizing a piece of classical music she had playing in the background. Lindsey's little sister, however was a lot more straight forward.

Almost nine years younger than Lindsey, her little sister was a change-of-life puppy of sorts for the family. Having been born in August, her green name 'Summer Sun' was shortened to Summer(so, as stated previously, her name was neither Joy nor Princess). Other than the crazy situation surrounding the introduction to her family, everything else went rather well. Lindsey and her mom went into the kitchen (taking Summer with them) so Will and I could go over the specifics of my situation at the dining room table.

I heard his paws press to the table as he spoke confidently. "You have a straight-forward cases against the college, RJ. They'll have to accept a hearing with regard to reinstating you as a student or risk a variety of blow-back, not just from the community but from the accreditation committee when it comes time for their review. If their scholarship funds are paid for even partly by grant monies then they'll also risk defaulting on grant agreements, which can result in some very punative charges."

Despite Lindsey telling me that I had a chance, hearing it from Will seemed almost unbelievable. "Even though my scholarship is for soccer, which I can't play anymore because of... my accident?"

Even after that many months it was still hard to come out and say I was blind. I heard him nod and he proceeded with surprising clarity and sensitivity. "RJ, the college is withdrawing their scholarship to you because you are blind. The material facts in this are that one: you did not specifically violate any terms of your scholarship and two: you are being denied your scholarship funds because of a physical disability."

It sounded too easy. "...are you sure?"

The ruffling of papers was accompanied by his explanation. "I have a copy of the terms of your scholarship here. Although you have violated the terms by not attending classes for several weeks there is a medical provision that makes allowances for absenteeism. What it doesn't allow is for the college to refuse your enrollment because of a physical disability which is not just casual discrimination-- it is blatant discrimination, and more than just unacceptable; it is wrong."

His confidence was infectious and it didn't take long for me to come around to his line of thinking. That did leave an important question. "Okay... so... it should be a pretty easy case, you think?"

I heard him nod but he was kind enough to say his thoughts too. "Yes. Like I said, I don't think it'll get to an actual hearing; they'll most likely settle as soon as they realize you're not going to roll over and go away."

Then, the important question, which I decided to face head-on. "Okay... so... how much do you think it'll cost? I... don't have a lot of money right now so I--"

Although I couldn't see his smile, I could hear it in his voice. "Even if you can't cover retainer or my fees I'm not shying away from taking your case just because you don't have money. Like I said, I do a lot of pro bono work, RJ."

"So... free?"

He chuckled. "No... not free. Let's call it an exchange of services?"

That made me pause. "Uh... what-- I mean... I don't really... I-- what can I do for you? I'm not exactly--"

"You can take good care of Lindsey."

That made me pause even more. "I-- we... huh?"

The chuckle returned, combined with that professional confidence. "You may not be able to see the way she looks at you, but I can. Dads tend to have a good sense for this kind of thing, RJ. So... do we have a deal?"

He didn't have to ask me twice. We agreed to meet again (at his office) in the near future so we could go over planning. We shook hands and he gave me another pat on the back. I was more surprised when, after we stood up, he even gave me a hug. He led me into the kitchen and announced "RJ's going back to college in no time."

* * * * * *

Lindsey drove me to his office the following week and the three of us went over what he'd uncovered. Not only was the college willing to settle the matter out of court but they would be willing to reinstate my full scholarship as long as I maintained a B- average. Further, the funding would include living arrangements on campus with the only caveat being that I'd have to wait until the next term started and release them from any litigation regarding my prior scholarship cancellation.

Although we left the office pretty quick after that, I remember feeling just a little caught off-guard by sound of Will's wagging tail hitting the back of his chair when Lindsey gave me a congratulatory kiss on the lips. I didn't have a lot of time to dwell on it though because, right as we were heading out to the car my cell phone went off. With one arm wrapped around Lindsey's arm for guidance, I pulled the phone out of my pocket and answered. It was my mom, and things were getting even more complicated because my grandmother was in the hospital.

I got most of the story over the phone as Lindsey drove me back to my mom's apartment. Apparently it wasn't anything super serious but she would be in ICU under observation for a few days. My mom was heading out in the evening to go travel two hours to see her so my grandmother could have the moral support and so her house could be looked after over the weekend. Apparently my mom planned on staying home just long enough for me to get back and pack. We pulled up just when that little bomb dropped.

Even though I heard Lindsey getting out I sat in the car and complained “I REALLY don't want to go New York this weekend. I have a LOT going on!"

A moment later, the line disconnected and, just as I was about to start throwing a fit for my mom hanging up on me, I heard her voice outside the car along with Lindsey's. I opened the car door so I could hear better just as Lindsey laughed and said “He's an adult, Ms. James. I don't think he needs a baby-sitter."

It made a lot more sense when my mom replied “Which is why I'm not asking you to be here all the time... he can stay here alone, but only if you come by to check in on him."

I got the impression that both ladies turned to face me and Lindsey responded “Well, maybe you should ask him what HE thinks."

My mom didn't hesitate, though it took her awhile to actually ask me. “RJ, I REALLY need to go see your grandmother and she'll need some help once they release her. It won't be for more than three or four days. Lindsey said that you still have a lot of work to do to get ready for school, and I know how important it is. Do you think you'll be okay here by yourself if she stops in now-and-again to check on you?"

Apparently my mom really WAS ready to leave; she pulled out of the parking lot maybe ten seconds after I said “Sure." About five minutes after that I was up in the apartment with Lindsey. I'd expected her to hang around for a few minutes to make sure I was settled in but I ended up being pleasantly surprised when she hung around for dinner.

On the rare occasion my mom wasn't around to make something I had become used to TV dinners or frozen corn dogs. Lindsey, on the other hand, wasn't. Not only did she make dinner, but she encouraged me to help. I had a lot of objections in the beginning but, by the time everything was being finished off I'd surprised myself by actually contributing a lot more than I'd thought I'd be able to. The wagging of her tail against my thigh suggested that she didn't doubt me for even one minute.

From there, our impromptu date came to a close and she gave me another kiss before saying goodbye. She promised to return the following afternoon and said she had a little present for me. Even with my Sleep-Wake disorder problem I couldn't remember ever getting so little sleep. It was strange to think that something as simple as a promise to visit and a surprise present would be enough to get me so excited but, to be honest, Lindsey was more than capable of doing that to me.

It felt like it took forever to get through the night and the following morning. When I finally got out of bed I made the extra effort to try and figure out how to be most presentable. Being blind for long enough taught me a few tricks when it came to clothes and I was able to pick out what I knew would be the right pair of jeans to go with a specific t-shirt. From there I got my shoes and socks and made my way to the living room to wait.

Staying home alone wasn't a bad proposition since I knew how to get where I wanted to go. Aside from being away from Lindsey, if I'd gone with my mom to my grandmother's house I would have been practically helpless; I didn't know how enough about the layout of the rooms to be able to navigate it, let alone how many steps it was from my bedroom to the bathroom-- and that is important information, let me tell you.

Regardless, the morning finally gave way to the afternoon and, just as I was cleaning up the dishes from a microwaved corn dog I made, there was a knock at the door. Considering whomever knocked waited patiently for me to get to them, I had a pretty good idea of who it was. My suspicions were confirmed when I heard Lindsey provide a simple “Hi."

I leaned forward and she came the rest of the way so we could share a quick kiss. I smiled as she moved passed me and I announced “Hi yourself."

Tracking someone by the sound their sneakers make on the carpet is a learned skill, but I was able to follow her to the couch. She guided me to a cushion next to her but I was surprised when she put something into my hands. “Here; I got you something."

It took a few moments to inspect by touch alone; I could tell it was a long metal rod and, considering how light it was I had a feeling it was hollow. After a few seconds only one thing came to mind. “Is this a gun?"

Lindsey giggled and removed it from my hands. “No. Try it now."

When she returned it to me I felt a distinct plastic-rubber-type-handle at one end and then everything clicked. “It's a cane."

She clarified. “It's called a support cane, and it should help you get around. Here, stand up and I'll show you how to use it."

We spent the next twenty minutes or so with her giving me lessons on how to hold it and how to move it in front of me when walking. After that she went through folding it up and breaking it out a few times until I had a working understanding of it. What really scared me was her next suggestion. “How about we try a quick walk around the block?"

It felt like an icy hand was squeeze my chest and I got short of breath just considering it. That changed when I felt her paw rest on my forearm. Taking a deep breath, I nodded. “Sure, I guess... as long as you'll be coming with."

She laughed. “I DID say WE, didn't I?"

Once around the block turned into two full circuits. It was a lot easier than I'd expected , which made sense I guess since the whole idea about the stick is that it's supposed to be intuitive and I guess it helps that the cane made me a lot more obvious to everyone else on the sidewalk so they gave me a little more space to get around. Despite how athletic I'd been before I lost my sense of sight the half-mile walk left me winded but I think my shortness of breath was as much from excitement as it was from fatigue, especially since I still had enough energy to help with dinner once we got back to the apartment.

There was something liberating about finally gaining some self-sufficiency. Even though I still hated the idea of being around lots of people the ability to get out of the apartment if I needed or wanted without being at the total of others was a much-needed boost. That, and being even more helpful to Lindsey when we made dinner proved that I was still making progress, and maybe that was one of the reasons why I was so forward after we'd eaten.

Lindsey was gathering up the dishes to put them in the dishwasher and I wanted until she was next to my chair before I put out my hand; it came to rest on her arm and I finally spoke my mind. “You can stay here tonight, if you want."

She was quiet for exactly five beats of my heart; it felt like awhile but it was really fast because my heart was pounding. “I suppose I could take the sofa."

It wasn't exactly what I'd had in mind but, for the first time ever when dealing with a girl my nerves failed me. “Yeah. I guess that'd be fine if you like."

There was another pause from her and I felt her paw slide up into my hand. “Is that what YOU'D like, RJ?"

Although I couldn't see I still had certain non-verbal ways to communicate and I found myself turning my head toward where I knew the hallway to my bedroom was. “I... no. I... I was going to-- I mean..."

Her second paw sought out my other hand and she faced me, holding both of my hands in her paws. I could hear the gentle chiding in her voice. "Can we share your bed?"

My voice failed me so I just nodded. A minute later we were in my room and when her muzzle sought out my lips I realized that she was very much interested in spending the night and I finally let the apprehension go and enjoyed the kiss. Her paws traveled up and down my body, ultimately sliding around to start undoing my belt. I didn't need any more hints after that and my hands went to her jeans right above her tail and I undid that button before sliding my fingers up beneath her blouse to explore the luxurious arctic breed fur of her body.

Her back arched at my touch and I heard her breathe out my name as she shuddered. Realizing that I'd found an all-important spot, I raked my fingers lightly through her fur as I leaned fowrard and began kissing the fur of her neck along the collar of her blouse. We took several steps together until we collapsed onto my bed and, from there, our hands and paws made quick work of our clothes. Somewhere in the back of my mind I worried that I'd have trouble collecting my laundry in the morning but that thought dissolved the moment her soft-padded fingers pressed against my chest and eased me back onto the mattress.

Even as she slid her paws across my body I reached up and began exploring hers. My fingers got lost in her thick fur but I had always been good at finding my way and it wasn't long before my palms cupped her athletic breasts, also fur-covered, but no less feminine. I was gentle but firm as I squeezed and rolled them, and it didn't take much for my thumbs to brush across her firm, perky nipples and she let out the sexiest little growl as I gave them due attention, even craning my head up so I could seek one out with my mouth.

There was a certain canine musk to Lindsey, but it had an obvious female scent to it and it wasn't as off-putting as some might imagine. The flavor of her flesh once I'd located it through her fur was just as sensual as any human woman and the sounds she made-- god... they were amazing. The only thing more amazing than that, though was when she straddled me and I felt the blazing heat radiating from between her legs; it was enough to get me to gasp even before she'd encircled my erection with her fingers and lowered herself down.

Her scent got even stronger the moment she was opened up and impaled herself. I grit my teeth, letting out a breath through my nose as my entire world turned into a tight, slick, silky tunnel of heat. Even as she settled down into my lap I could feel her juices dribbling down my sac and her whimpering moan sent a shiver up my back and made me want her even more. Her breath was panting against my ear as a murmur emerged from her muzzle. "Is this-- is this okay, RJ?"

What can you say to something like that? I suppose I could have offered some dramatic romance movie quote or even a funny rom-com quip, but my mind was so frozen in the moment I'm surprised I was even able to mumble the single syllable "Yeah..."

I didn't end up staying that passive the entire time. Eventually I broke free from my performance paralysis and, in that moment, I reached up to take hold of Lindsey and rolled us both over until she was on her back and my hips were pressed to hers with her legs spread, body welcoming me in. I accepted the invitation in earnest.

If I thought long and hard I could probably manage to come up with a few snippets of memory about my first time, but it is nowhere near as clear as that night with Lindsey. I didn't have my sight but I had her and I had four other senses to apply and I made good use out of each and every one. I bathed in her gasps, moans, and constant panting; I dove into the powerful musk that told me she was just excited as I was; I could taste her on my tongue, and every inch of my body wanted to feel her-- she wasn't satisfied until it did.

I have no idea how long we made love, but I know that when she finally climaxed it was more than I could take. Her vice-like insides clamped down on my member and the combined sensations of friction, pressure, and the most unbelievable heat sent me over the edge. Her tail thrashed back and forth between my thighs, fluids dribbling and spraying out between our joined sexes, and my moans joined hers as I came hard. It had been a long time since I'd had sex but, truth be told, I think it was probably the first time it had really meant something. It was definitely the first time I'd ever said those three words. "I love you."

We laid together in one another's arms until morning an even longer. I remember cursing the sun when Lindsey's soft voice announced "I can't believe it's light out."

Burying my face in the fur of her neck I willed us both back to sleep. "Mngggh... I don't have anything going on today..."

Unfortunately mind-over-matter isn't always effective; she nuzzled me affectionately and disengaged. "Yeah... but I have classes."

I let out a sigh as she pulled away but I let her, but not without asking "Will you be back tonight?"

Although I couldn't see her smile I could hear it in her voice. "Only as long as I don't have to sleep on the couch."

"Deal."

I heard her moving about my room and I tried to piece together what she was picking up from where, still wondering how I'd be able to find all my clothes, right up until I heard her set something on my desk. She reinforced what I was assuming to be the case when she announced "Your clothes are by the lamp."

I couldn't help but smile. "Thanks."

She made a quick retreat after that, and I heard her mulling around in the kitchen for a moment as she finished getting ready. I slowly sat up, stretching as I lingered at the edge of the bed. My mind drifted back to the night we'd spent together and the realization of what I'd told her as we lay in one another's arms. Hearing the front door open, I felt my heart lilt just a little when I realized she hadn't returned my admission of feelings. As if she'd read my mind, she called out to me "RJ? I love you too!"