FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

After my sore defeat in Maria Kart last night, we ended up playing a few extra matches. I hoped that I could score a win (in a cup, that is), but I ended up having no such luck. She did indeed beat me again, the cocky fucker. Each time, too. My Maria Kart skills were rustier than an old saw, and that clearly showed in my gameplay. I still enjoyed our session regardless, since winning wasn't my highest priority.

Winning's for losers, am I right?

Now it was the next morning, and as usual, I got to enjoy a cup of coffee. Jesse wasn't in the living room which told me that she was most likely held up in her man cave. Hyena cave. Whatever cave.

I finished my coffee so I could go greet her for the morning, walking up to her chamber.

“Atta-girl! Atta-girl, Bobby! All the way! All the way to fuckin' victory town!"

A loud, rambunctious voice echoed throughout the hallway as I neared Jesse's room. I took a peek in and saw her on the computer, watching the video of some YouTube personality. The voice sounded familiar in a way, although I couldn't quite place it.

The door to her room had been left wide open, probably because she wasn't used to random humans coming in to disturb her.

I leaned on the doorframe, crossing my arms. “Hey, Jess."

She quickly paused the video, looking up at me. “H-hello."

“I was thinking of going out for a bit, maybe for a stroll or something. Wanna come?"

Ever since I got transported to this place I never had the chance to actually go out and explore the world. All my time so far had been spent behind closed doors, with no interaction with the residents of this universe, apart from a few select people like Jesse or my landlord. It was like being quarantined all over again. Except instead of having Covid, I had a bad case of being-a-human-itis.

She fidgeted, looking away. “Oh, uhm, I don't know…"

“Why not? I've been dying for some exploration. The HPA haven't been too keen on letting me off on my own for whatever reason, and so now's my chance."

“Well, I guess we could. It's just… you're a human."

Wow, how could I forget.

“So?"

“Well, uhm, you know… Humans aren't exactly the most common thing around. There are some weirdos that might get the wrong idea. And you're also a boy. So yeah…"

I put my hands on my hips. “What does that have to do with anything?"

“Nothing! I-I'm not saying you're incapable or anything, it's just… I don't want to see you get hurt..."

Aww, how sweet.

I smirked. “Then it's a good thing I have a kick-ass roommate to take care of me, right?"

“U-uhm…"

“Come on, let's go!"

I yanked her by the sleeve of her hoodie, out to the entrance of the apartment. I let her shut down her computer, of course. I wasn't an evil bastard.

We left the apartment and strolled down the street, chatting on the way. I wanted to use the chance to stretch my legs, so I didn't take Jesse's car. Not like it mattered; humans weren't allowed to drive cars. I guess the HPA weren't too happy with the idea of a human hurting themselves on a Sunday drive, so it looks like that was something I was never going to enjoy again. Oh well, at least Jesse can drive for me. She can reuse her skills as a pizza delivery driver to become a human delivery driver.

We walked past a multitude of different hyena species. Although the majority of them were still spotted hyenas, I saw many more brown ones, as well as a few striped ones, and even some aardwolves. Also, wow, aardwolves are short a heck. All the ones I saw so far only reached up to chest height.

And the thing about being a human here is that wherever we went, everyone just… stared at me. I mean, I knew I was a handsome bastard, but this was starting to make me uncomfortable. At least they kept their distance, making plenty of space between us. I wonder why. Were humans just really scary or something? Last time I looked in the mirror I didn't scream in terror, so that couldn't be it.

My musing was suddenly interrupted by a rumble from my stomach. I forgot that I hadn't even eaten breakfast today. The only thing I had this morning was a cup of coffee. But that's only because I always have a cup of coffee. Or, at least, try to.

Look, I really like coffee, okay? Not my fault it's so good.

“I'm getting hungry. How about we go eat something?" I suggested.

“Oh, uh, sure." She looked around. “Where do you wanna go?"

“Uhhh, hmm."

I took the moment to think of any potential areas we could visit, but came up blank. What kind of restaurants were around here, anyway? Damn, I really should have looked something up before going out. I wasn't thinking of my hunger at the time, only my coffee. Once again, my coffee addiction screws me over.

But as if lady luck was on my side, something happened to catch my eye.

“Hey, what about that place over there?"

I pointed towards a square-shaped restaurant. A big sign was posted out front. The name 'Tooters' In bold letters covered the sign, with the letter T making up the shape of an elephant's head. The horizontal line of the T had two big, round ears, while the vertical line was the trunk.

There was something really familiar about this place, almost as if it was…

Oh my god… It was fuckin' Hooters.

I don't know how I didn't recognize it earlier, but there was no way that wasn't it.

This world had Hooters.

But it wasn't Hooters, it was… Tooters. So does that mean that… instead of big, busty women, it'll have big, busty men?

Hoooh boy.

This is like that Femboy Hooters meme… except it was real. A real, actual, in-my-face Femboy Hooters.

I can already smell the envy of every gay guy (and woman, of course) who would not be able to experience this place first-hand. Not like they knew it existed, anyway. Can't miss out on what you don't know. Suckers.

Why was it called 'Tooters', though? That's a weird change of…

Oh… It's because elephants toot, isn't it? Should have known.

It all made sense now. The round ears represented the balls, and the trunk represented the penis.

Hah, that was genius.

Unlike Hooters, though, the place had a teal-colored theme. Probably to more closely match the color of a real-life elephant.

Then again, it's not like elephants were blue, so maybe that wasn't the reason?

Ahh, who gives a crap? I wanna go to fuckin' Tooters. Not because I wanted to see some scantily-clad hyena boys or anything.

I'm not gay, I swear. I'm just a femboy enjoyer.

“No, let's— let's not go there. That place is a bit… tasteless…"

“Aw, come on. Let's check this place out!" I tugged on her hoodie.

“Well… a-all right."

I practically dragged her to the restaurant in my excitement. We entered to a plethora of seats and tables. A bar was situated in the center, with stools lining across the counter. A few TVs were hung up for display, with either sports or news channels playing.

I looked around to see that there were not that many people inside. Only two other tables had someone seated, and of course, they stared right at me as we walked in.

Huh, you'd think on a Sunday there'd be more people. Not that I was complaining, since I didn't really want any more attention than I already had today.

A spotted hyena server walked up to us. He froze mid-way, staring at me in awe.

“Whoa, a human!" he exclaimed in delight.

“Whoa, a hyena!" I sarcastically responded.

He expelled a loud giggle. “This is the first time we've had a human come in here! Would you like me to help you get seated?"

“Yes, please."

The hyena boy had a light, feminine voice. A white tank top with the Tooters logo on it covered his torso, and tight-fitting, teal short shorts adorned his legs.

Yep, that was definitely a guy. And definitely a bulge. I was already having the femboy experience.

He led us to an empty table where Jesse and I sat down.

“Slow day, huh?" I brought up.

He looked a little downhearted, while still keeping up a smile. “Yeah, we usually get more people by now. But hey, at least you're here! That certainly makes things more exciting."

“Yeah, uhh… Can we have the menus now?" I asked.

“Ahh, right! Sorry!" He quickly fetched our menus, handing them to us. “Here you go! Shall I give you two some time to decide what you want?"

I nodded. “Yeah, thanks."

“All right, no problem!"

He left us so we could choose what we wanted in peace, and went over to talk to some other hyena servers. He continued to look over at us, still smiling. The other servers were also looking, probably in curiosity.

I opened up the menu, looking over all the things they had. A big selection of items were labeled, mostly consisting of BBQ food like wings or ribs. Fuck yeah, I loved this kind of stuff. I hoped Jesse did too. I mean, who doesn't like some good wings? An asshole, that's who.

“So what are you gonna get, Jess?"

“Uhm… I don't know. I guess I'll have the wings," she decided.

I nodded. “Nice choice. Can never go wrong with that."

I looked over the menu once again, still trying to decide on what I wanted.

Man, this was harder than I thought. There were quite a few choices and I was hungry enough to not be picky.

The ribs look real nice… but I could also go with the wings, like Jesse.

“I think… I'll go for some ribs," I said, finally settling on something.

“Okay."

We both put our menus down to show that we were ready to order. The same server from before approached us, his smile still as wide as ever.

“Have you gals decided what you wanted?" he chirped.

“Uh, yeah. I'll just have a rack of ribs with some fries," I started.

“Sure thing, sir!" He stepped over to stand next to Jesse, leaning closer to her. “And what would you like, cutie?~"

“Uhm, I-I'll have— uhh, the, uhm—"

“She'll have the wings. Right, Jesse?" I interrupted.

“Uhm, y-yeah." Her ears pivoted as her fingers tapped the table. She was too embarrassed to look him in the eyes. Looks like the femboy got her actin' up.

“Sure thing! Anything else?"

“Nah, that should be it."

“Okay! I'll be back with your order shortly."

We handed him the menus and he walked away, stepping through a discreet-looking door. I presumed that was the one to the kitchen, so he could give our orders to the chefs.

“So what do you think of this place so far? Has quite the pizzazz, wouldn't you say?" I started.

“It's… okay. The food looks nice, at least."

“Yeah, it looks awesome! Can't wait to try it."

She lightly smiled, giving a huff of a laugh. “You know, you are a lot... different to what I expected when I first heard that you were coming to live with me."

“Oh? A good kind of different or a bad one"

“Good. Definitely good." She nodded. “I'm still really glad you moved in."

I grinned. “I'm happy to hear that." My grin wavered a little. “But, uhh, about what you said… Did the HPA force you to live with me?"

“Oh, no, they didn't force me. They asked if I would be willing to house a human, and I said yes." She rubbed her hands together. “I wasn't sure if I wanted to at first, but they said that I would be compensated… quite well. Even more than my job."

“Really? So then why don't you quit?"

“Well, I could have quit, but… I don't want to lose my job…"

I rested my face on my hand. “Like your job, huh?"

“Yeah, it's okay… but that's not why. If something were to happen to you, or if you ever decide to move out, I'll need a way to make a living again. So it's more just a backup plan for now."

“Ahh, that's smart. You're a smart cookie." I nodded my head towards her, and I could tell that she was blushing, even if I couldn't see it. “I don't plan to leave, though. Unless you don't like me having over."

“B-but I do! I really do," she affirmed.

“Then you'll be fine." I let out a relaxed sigh. “It would have really sucked if you said no, 'cause then I wouldn't have gotten to know you."

“Y-yeah."

Her ears pivoted, and she blushed again. How do I know? Well, I just do. It's like my sixth sense. My hyena blush-detecting sense. Definitely not pseudoscience.

We continued talking for a bit until our food arrived. The hyena server from before brought in two plates of delicious-looking, and delicious-smelling food.

“Hey! Got your orders right here, sir, ma'am." He placed a dish on each side of the table.

“Thanks, looks fantastic," I stated.

He left us so we could eat alone, still as chipper as ever.

The sight and aroma of the meals was enough to get my stomach rumbling again, and I salivated over the food. Not literally, of course. That would be disgusting.

“So, before you said that I was different to what you were expecting when I moved in. What did you mean by that?" I picked up one of the ribs.

“Oh, uhm… I thought you would be… annoying."

I burst from laughter. “Annoying?"

She scratched her head. “Heh, y-yeah."

“How so?"

“Well, I thought you'd be… stuck-up? Snobby? Spoiled? I don't know. I wasn't sure how humans act. Sorry for thinking that about you…"

I huffed, still smiling. “Hey, it's all good."

I focused back on our food, taking a bite out of the first rib. An explosion of flavor erupted in my mouth, and my eyes threatened to roll back into my head.

“Mmph. Damn, this is some bomb-ass food," I praised.

She agreed. “It's good."

We continued to mostly eat in silence, aside from the occasional humorous banter. We took the time to enjoy our appetizing food, savoring every bite. At least, I did. I wasn't sure about Jesse, but eating stuff like this after all the healthy crap the HPA gave me? It was heaven.

Nearing the end of our meals, we had gotten a little more chatty. We started talking about funny stories we had, where the topic of my parents came up. I was telling her about the time I went fishing with my dad. My dad and I had been waiting at least an hour, patiently, for something to get hooked. It took some time, but I was finally able to catch a fish. And it was big. Thing is, I wasn't expecting it to be so slippery, so it managed to escape my grasp. Couldn't even remember the name of it.

“—And ever since, I was too embarrassed to go fishing again," I finished the story. “My dad took it well, though. Said it was 'all part of the game'. Still, I could tell that he was disappointed."

She smiled. “Sounds like you have great parents."

“Yeah." I scratched my chin. “What about your parents, Jess?"

“M— My parents…?"

“Yeah, what are they like?"

She looked away. “I… I don't really wanna talk about them…"

“Oh…" I tapped the table. “Is… there any reason why?"

“I just… I just don't want to," she muttered.

I put my hands up. “Okay, that's fine."

I didn't want to push her, so I ended it there. By the tone of her voice, she must not have the best relationship with them.

“Hey, uhm, I gotta use the bathroom," she said.

“All right."

She stood up and left me to my own things. I sat there for a few minutes, wondering if maybe I had gone too far or done something wrong, with the way she abruptly left. Maybe she just needed the bathroom and that was that? The last thing I wanted to do was tick off my closest friend in this world, but I was probably just overthinking this.

“Hi, uhh… Hey, uhh… What's up?"

A gruff, female voice broke me out of my thoughts, and I looked up to see a tall spotted hyena wearing the green jersey of some football or hockey team. I didn't really care.

“Uhh… Hi?" I hesitantly greeted.

“I saw you were on your lonesome, so I thought I'd stop by to say hello."

“Well, hello then." I chuckled.

We both just stood/sat there looking at each other, awkwardly.

“I, uhh, see you got some wings there." She pointed to the food in question. “I'm personally not a fan 'em, but it's cool, you know?"

“Right. Well, as you can see, I'm having a lovely date with these wings, so…"

“Oh, well, it's just… you know."

Fuck, this was awkward. Really turning up the awkward dial, Miss I'm-bad-at-flirting. And you know, Jesse may have also been awkward, but at least she was awkward in an adorkable kind of way. This was honestly sad.

I looked past her to see three hyenas sitting at a single table, all looking at us, and all wearing the same jerseys, probably rooting for her.

She saw where I was looking, and spoke up to clarify. “Oh, uhh, those are my friends. I saw you from across the table, and I thought that maybe you'd wanna… get to know each other?"

“Heh, well, you see, the thing is, I…"

“Jacob? Who are you talking to?"

Jesse came up right behind me. I quickly stood up and pulled her in with one arm, holding her close.

“…I have my girlfriend right here. See?"

She stared at Jesse for a moment in indignation. “What, this short-ass?" she scoffed. “You gotta be shitting me."

“Mmm, well, she may be short, but she packs a lot if you catch my drift." I waggled my eyebrows.

“Packs a lot? Are you serious?" She gestured towards Jesse. “Bet this little runt couldn't lift a pound. If you want a real yeen, you'd ditch this loser and go with me instead." She then pointed a thumb to herself.

Jesse tugged on my arm, trying to move away. “Let's just go. I don't want to deal with this."

“I look for a lot more than just muscle when I want a girlfriend, and she fills those areas quite well." I looked to Jesse, smiling at her.

“Really?" She crossed her arms. “And what does she have that I don't?"

I let out a cocky grin. “Me."

She bared her teeth, huffing. “Fuck off. I can't believe this little fag has the audacity to block me from getting your number. If she knew what was good for her, she would end herself and save us all the trouble."

“All right, leave the humie be, Taylor. He's had enough," one of her friends piped up.

Jesse nervously shook, staring at the ground. Any form of smile I once had was gone. I stood ramrod straight, glaring at the instigator. “Hey now, you should take that shit back."

“Yeah? Else what?" She looked at her friend group for a second, before turning back. “Tsh, what a fucking joke. Gotta have your boyfriend fight your fights for you?" She poked Jesse in the chest.

“That's enough, Taylor! You had your chance, and you blew it. Now leave the human alone," her same friend yelled. At least her buddies weren't as much of an asshole as she was.

She turned around to shout back. “Shut up, Lara! This isn't your fucking business." She slowly faced back. “I can handle some no-fur bastard on my own—"

A sudden crack resounded out as my fist connected with her jaw. I took the chance of her not paying attention to deliver a nasty sucker punch, using my right hand. My single punch was strong enough to knock her out cold, and she toppled over to the ground like a Jenga tower. All eyes in the restaurant became as wide as dinner plates.

“How does the floor taste? I bet as good as that cock you never get," I snapped.

Jesse tugged on my arm even harder, a pleading look on her face. “Jacob, could we please go?"

I let my anger falter a bit as I looked into Jesse's eyes. I didn't want to argue about it, so I just went along with her out of the restaurant. I felt a little guilty for not even being able to tip the server.

We stopped after walking for a few minutes in silence.

“So, uhh… Great date, huh?" I nervously laughed. “Ate some awesome food and I got to smack a bitch."

Even though I had laughed, my hands were still shaking from the whole ordeal.

Jesse held her arms, looking away. “You shouldn't have done that…"

“I know, it's just…" I clenched my fists. “I hate it when people talk shit about my friends." I let in and out a deep breath to help calm myself down. “Look, I'm sorry. I won't do it again. Promise."

“Okay. Thank you." She huffed, smiling a little. “She was kind of being an asshole."

“Kind of?"

My question caused her to let out a good laugh. God, I loved hearing her laugh. It was like music to my ears; I wanted to hear it more.

And luckily, it wasn't that weird giggle-laugh that the feral hyenas did back home. That would just be weird.

“So, uhh… A-about that girlfriend thing."

“Oh, right… I only said that so she would back off. Guess that didn't work so well, huh?" I chuckled.

She switched to a more serious expression. “Listen, I've… I've been wanting to know something."

“Yeah?" I fretted.

“W-why do you keep flirting with me?" she questioned. “Y-you've been doing it a lot and, uhm, I-I just... yeah."

“Oh… uhm, sorry." I swayed back and forth awkwardly. “Do you want me to stop? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

“N-no, It's not that, it's just…" She nervously licked her lips. “D-do you like me?"

“Uhh, well… yeah… I think I do, anyway," I admitted.

“R-really?"

“Yeah," I said, this time with a little more conviction.

“But… w-why? We haven't even known each other for that long. Why would you want to go out with someone like me? I'm not even that special…" She rubbed both her arms, looking away.

“Whaat? But you're plenty special." I brought her into a one-armed hug. “I mean, you got cute glasses, a cute voice, and you're really nice too. What's there not to like about you?"

“But… what that gal said was right. I'm a loser..."

I scoffed. “You think I'm gonna listen to some meathead? No, you're not a loser. If you were, I wouldn't be hanging out with you right now." I waved my hands around. “I'm like a Jedi; I can sense all the kinds of energy people make, and I can't feel any loser energy coming off of you. In fact, the only energy I can feel, is that big-dick energy you got." I pointed to her as she looked at me funny. “Uhh… Big-boob energy? Point is, you're cool and I like you."

Her ears pivoted and she looked away. “T-thank you. I… I really enjoy spending time with you. And… I-I like you too." She shuffled around a bit. “I hope this isn't too fast…"

“Well, maybe it is a little." I chuckled a bit, putting my hand on her shoulder. “Tell you what, how about we go on a real date tomorrow? Like, you know, a proper one. But take it slow."

She gave me a warm smile. “I… I would like that very much."

“Sweet. Come on, let's go back home."

I pat her on the shoulder, and we walked off to the direction of our home. Today may have had some slight bumps, but at least it ended on a good note. And now we had special plans for the next day.

Though it made me wonder, what kind of date were we going on tomorrow?

Well, whatever it was, I was excited.

---

On this episode of Longway Ball Z, both Jesse and Jacob finally confess their love to eachother.

And by finally, I actually mean, like, in three days. Because that's how love works, right?

Ehh, well, maybe not, but who cares? I bet you wanted to see some human-on-hyena romance, so that's what's gonna happen in the next chapter.

Whenever it comes out.