FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Two brooms scream through the air, skimming the treetops as their riders race towards home and a refuge from the worsening storm. Henry has taken up his spot behind Gothetta once more, the cake box and bag of bottles held tightly to his chest as Gothetta’s flying, the broom’s inherent jerkiness, and the buffeting wind attempt to blow them out of his arms at any moment. He squints as rain blurs his vision and peppers his face, the sister’s cabin and the barren land that surrounds it nowhere in sight.

“How close are we?” He shouts forward.

“Just a few more minutes! We’ll be home safe and sound soon enough, dearest love-companion.”

“I hope you’re right, my stomach can’t take much more of this turbulence.” He looks down and rubs his belly. “I shouldn’t have eaten so much during breakfast…”

“Look on the bright side Henry! If you do have to vomit at least you don’t have to worry about making a mess with so much open air around us! Just try and not get anything on my broom’s bristles though. It wouldn’t like that.”

“What happens if I do?”

Gothetta pauses, briefly looking to the broom handle before glancing back at Henry.

“Nothing good.” She answers, a tinge of fear in her voice.

Henry grimaces and closes his eyes, deciding not to question Gothetta any further or risk his nerves becoming as upset as his stomach. A few minutes of turbulent travel later and Urmine’s voice bellows to their left, the bear now in formation right next to them.

“Gothetta! I fear the eggs are growing cold, I'm going to break off and head to the cabin with utmost haste.” She then looks to Henry, the green faced human brooding in misery behind Gothetta. “What’s wrong with him?”

“Classic case of broom sickness. He should recover when we land.”

“I should hope so, the fate of our cake and wine rests with him until then. Keep them safe Henry! I paid quite a few gold coins for those!”

He gives a weak nod in response and Urmine shoots off in front of them, a trail of blown off white flowers following her as she disappears behind clouds of wispy fog and undulating walls of rain. Sick of being in the air, Henry scoots forward and puts a hand on Gothetta’s shoulder, using her to steady himself as they fight every buffet of air and gust of wind that threatens to throw them off course. Feeling his grip, Gothetta yells rearward.

“Almost there, my broomsick lover. I think I can see the cabin’s barren yard on the horizon. Steel your stomach for a minutes more, and before you know it we’ll be at the door!”

“Good, good.” He weakly replies, fighting back his body’s need to expel breakfast. “Because I don’t think I can take much more of this-“

*BOOM-CRACK*

A blinding streak of lightning shoots down from the clouds and narrowly misses them. Gothetta swerves to and fro before regaining control of the broom.

“Shit! That was close! I think I can smell ozone.” Henry yells.

“It’s a stroke of luck it didn’t hit us, love-companion. The gods must be pleased with us and allowed it to miss, or perhaps they made it strike so close in an attempt to display their righteous fury at us. Either way, I’m just glad we’re still in the air.”

“Luck…” Henry trails off, looking at the hat Gothetta’s wearing. With its many trinkets, chains, and coins it’s truly a miracle they weren’t hit, and Henry quickly makes the decision that allowing Gothetta to wear it further is simply tempting fate. “Hey! Gothetta, I think you should take your hat off.”

“Why? I like it! It’s warm, and purple, and smells of copper and feathers!”

“Lightning is attracted to metal Gothetta, you really don’t want a bolt of lightning to be channeled directly into your head. Your brain will be fried, like an egg.”

“Pshh! Nonsense. Lightning strikes where it pleases! Are you going to say that the color green attracts tornadoes and the sun doesn’t revolve around us next?”

“No, no. Lightning is attracted to metal because…because the metal…electricity is kind of…” Henry starts and stops, quietly cursing himself for falling asleep in so many science classes throughout school. Quickly finding that he doesn’t have the right knowledge base or language to properly explain the threat to Gothetta, he resorts to good old-fashioned begging. “Just…just please take it off. You’ll have to trust me on this one.”

The doe sighs, then removes her mother’s hat.

“I suppose you’re right. They always say lightning never strikes the same place twice, but after what happened to mother I’m not inclined to test that theory.”

Gothetta then sticks the hat onto the tip of the broom. Henry breathes a sigh of relief, then notices a welcome sight on the horizon.

“Gothetta! The cabin!” He happily says, pointing to the barren patch of land to their front.

Gothetta cackles and dives downward, skimming past the tops of trees until finally descending to a few feet above the barren earth and gliding to the front door of the cabin. The riders dismount and take their belongings in hand. However, just before Henry starts walking to the front door he notices his tail has once again wrapped itself around the handle of the broom.

“Hey, we’re safe now. You can uncoil yourself.” He tells the tail.

Yet it remains motionless. Henry reshuffles the cake box and bag of bottles and tugs on the tail, the furry rope gradually coming undone and falling to the ground, limp.

“I suppose it’s run out of life. A shame really, I think you look rather good with a tail Henry.” Gothetta remarks.

“I can’t say that I agree.”

“And what do you say we should do with it now that it’s served its purpose once more? Shall we allow it to rest in a closet, or use it to clean our pipes and chimney?”

Henry looks to the tail and sighs, running his hand across its length.

“Let’s put it back in its closet, it was much better behaved this time than the first time I wore it. I can wear it the next time I have to be in public.”

The doe nods in agreement and steps inside, Henry following. Inside they’re greeted by Urmine sitting on a couch in front of their roaring fireplace. She’s flanked by two eggs each resting on a pillow. As Henry and Gothetta enter she turns to greet them.

“Ah, good to see you both made it home in one piece! I trust the cake and wine are safe and sound?” Henry holds up the bag and box giving Urmine her answer. “Most excellent! Now get out of those waterlogged clothes and let’s eat!”

After a trip to the bedroom Gothetta and Henry return in much drier clothes, Gothetta in her usual loose cloth dress and Henry back in the jeans and t-shirt he was summoned in. Urmine’s moved the cake and wine to the kitchen table, she’s seated with both eggs in her lap and an excited look on her face.

“Come and gather round!” She urges them closer with a wave. “I paid good coin for this wedding cake, come close and let’s gaze upon its sugary splendor together.”

Henry and Gothetta move behind Urmine as she puts her paws on the lid to the cake box. Seeing that her audience is in place, Urmine slowly opens the lid inch by inch. The cake is rectangular in shape, coated with a white outer frosting and decorated with red strips of additional frosting lining its edges. In the center of the cake is a line of text in more red frosting. As the three of them read it their jaws drop, an awkward silence growing between them that Gothetta eventually breaks.

“To an eternal loving union between…Urine…Gertrude…and Harry?”

Urmine groans as her head drops into her hands.

“It appears my apology to the baker’s wife wasn’t nearly as convincing as I had thought.”

“Maybe it’s just a mistake? They misheard you?” Gothetta humors, ever hopeful.

The bear shakes her head.

“This was no easy mistake, I told them exactly what to write on it in very clear terms.”

Gothetta shrugs her shoulders and picks up a dollop of frosting with a finger, putting it into her mouth.

“Well it still tastes good and there’s no point wasting a perfectly edible cake. I say we eat it.” She declares.

“Please do, the sooner I don’t have to look at this culinary embarrassment the better. Go grab a plate.”

The three of them are soon seated at the kitchen table, each with a half-eaten slice of cake in front of them. Henry, growing anxious about the wine, reaches over the table and retrieves one of the bottles.

“So what do we have here? A bottle of…” He looks at the label and squints, unable to decipher any of the odd angular font. “I really ought to learn how to read the letters you use over here. This all looks like indecipherable chicken scratch to me.”

“I can tutor you over the coming days if you wish, you really should become familiar with our local culture. Now hand me the bottle so I can read it for you.” Urmine orders. He hands her the bottle and she looks at the label. “This is a bottle of orange wine, made from the famed grand pumpkins that grow in the valley of Timembra. It’s a fairly new vintage, and should have a sweet body with hints of pumpkin seed and cinnamon. A fine wine for a celebration such as this.”

“Pumpkin wine, can’t say I’ve had that before.” Henry strokes his chin, then leans forward. “And it is alcoholic, right?”

Urmine digs a claw into the bottle’s cork and pulls it free with a resounding pop.

“I assure you, you’ll lose track of how much you’ve had by the second glass. Grab a glass everyone!”

A few minutes later and the newlyweds are a glass or two, or three, or four, deep in the pumpkin wine. Laughter fills the cabin as amusing stories are recounted and anxiety about the future is temporarily held at bay.

“-and then my last candle flickered out and I was left in the darkness!” Gothetta says, pounding her hands on the table.

“Your last candle? So you were in the middle of some cave with no sources of light left? Sounds scary.” Henry says, sipping more pumpkin wine.

“Heh, heh, heh. No, not really.” She replies with a giggle and a hiccup. “I had learnt how to cast a ball of light just a few days prior to our little expedition so it really wasn’t so bad. They last for a long time so I had light, but no food, water, or sense of direction.”

“So how did you get out?”

“Easier than you may think.” She smiles mischievously. “Remember how I said that Urmine was with me before we got separated?”

“Ya? So?”

“Well, the crystal caverns are pretty tight, and at that age her antlers were large enough to drag on the ceiling. A faint bony scuff marked what passageways we had taken and which direction we had walked. All I had to do was follow Urmine’s antler marks all the way to the entrance to the cave and I was free!”

The newlyweds laugh at Gothetta’s story.

“You’re lucky that happened during puberty dear sister. Before I had learned to carry my horns with finesse and at a time when they were growing what felt like an inch a day!”

“True, true. I just remember how often you managed to bang them into doorways back then. And there was that time you stabbed poor old man Jenkins.”

“She stabbed someone with her antlers?!” Henry blurts out in disbelief.

“I didn’t stab him on purpose, Gothetta, it was a total accident.” Urmine clarifies, and turns to Henry. “You see, me and Gothetta were in town to grab some supplies. I noticed that Jenkins was selling produce in the center of town, so I went over to buy some tomatoes. When I handed him his payment he dropped the coins and I bent down to pick it up for him. That’s when, well, you can probably guess what happened next.”

“Two little points went right into his belly! My horned bear of a sister almost took him out!”

“Shush you little fanged fawn. Mother gave him a healing potion and he was right as rain the next day!” Urmine drunkenly points to Gothetta. “It’s not like your fangs never got you into trouble! Remember that time you bit that fat dog?”

Henry leans back in his seat and sips more wine, eager to hear the next little debacle the sisters had been in.

“He deserved it though!” Gothetta fires back.

“Whether he deserved it or not, you practically bit his arm off!”

“I only bit him one time! One teensy little time!”

“One teensy little bite with those fangs of your were enough to send him running for the hills. What did he do to you again?”

Gothetta crosses her arms.

“He tried to rob me. I had spent all day in the melon grove picking flowers and this brute of a canine just decides he’s going to harass me while I was walking home. So he pulled a knife out and made his demands. As he was motioning for me to drop my coin purse on the ground I just leaned forward and…uhh…bit him on the arm. My fangs went deep, perhaps to the bone, but he did deserve it!”

Urmine leans back in her seat and chuckles. Henry chuckles with her and looks around the room. Seeing his pan resting on the stove he gets up and retrieves it, its sight reminding him of one memory in particular.

“Hey Urmine, you remember what I did with this the day that you first summoned me?” He asks, twirling the pan around in the air.

“I seem to recall snatching some fish off of it.”

“And what happened after that?”

Urmine chuckles some more and shakes her head.

“And then you…whacked me upside the head!” She guffaws.

“That’s right. I think I hit you right here, on the side of your muzzle…”

**************************************************************

A tall figure wrapped in a slick leather coat slinks through the forest. In her arms is a large crossbow, one so sizable only those of her immense stature could even think about using. A hood covers her head and a mask hides her face. Finding her mark, she comes to a stop at the edge of a barren clearing. In the center of the clearing is a cabin with bright windows and muffled laughter emanating from within it. The moose adjusts her position slightly as to see what lurked behind the nearest window. Her lips curl into a smile.

Perfect.

She truly couldn’t have asked for a better shot. Right there in plain sight was the horned bear her sister had warned her about. The bear is talking to someone, probably the doe. Griselda knows she must act quickly before the bear moves out of position and her shot is ruined. Reaching into her coat she pulls out a bolt. It glows in the dim light of the forest with a pale blue hue, one of her many types of enchanted ammunition. Malvina had been especially creative when it came to weapon enchantments, equipping her sister with bolts that could track moving targets, bolts that could fly through the air in complete silence, bolts that could immolate or freeze whatever, or whoever, they hit. But the one she held in her hand was of an especially cruel design. It was made to stick into whatever it hit then explode into hundreds of tiny razor-sharp glass shards. If Griselda got lucky she thought she may be able to take out both Urmine and Gothetta in one fell swoop, with only one bolt no less!

Griselda puts the bolt into her crossbow and takes aim. But just as she brings the weapon up to her shoulder her ears flick back. Movement to the rear and growing louder. Someone from the town? Has someone tracked her? She puts these thoughts away and refocuses on her bounty. Taking aim, she plans on putting this bolt right through the bear’s head. Griselda takes a deep exhale, then pulls the trigger.

*******************************************************

“…like right…about…here!”

Henry swings the pan towards Urmine’s muzzle, stopping it a few inches from her face. Urmine laughs, then-

*phewwww-CLANK*

Something flies through the window and sticks itself into Henry’s pan with a violent fury! Mouth agape, Henry twists the pan to see a metal bolt stuck halfway into it. The bolt begins to glow with a bright blue energy and shakes, as if wanting to break free of the pan.

“ohshit-ohshit-ohshit-what do I do?” He frantically asks.

Urmine sees the bolt’s glow and her eyes go wide.

“Throw it out the window! Now!” She screams.

Henry immediately chucks the pan out the broken window. Just a couple seconds later it explodes into hundreds of glassy shards, peppering the outside of the house with shrapnel.

“To the bedroom everyone, quickly!” Urmine urges, grabbing the eggs and sprinting into the bedroom with Henry and Gothetta, closing the door behind them.

“W-what was that? Was that a magic bolt? Why is someone shooting at us?!” Gothetta cries, holding her hands up to her forehead.

“I-I don’t know. This may be the witch hunter we heard about.” Urmine answers, crawling up to the sole bedroom window.

Henry soon follows her, crouching on the other side of it. Urmine peeks out then ducks back in.

“What’s out there?” Henry asks.

Urmine takes a deep breath, then answers.

“Everyone. We’re surrounded.”

“What the-“ Henry cuts himself off and takes a peek for himself.

Outside, completely surrounding the cabin, is a line of townsfolk. In their hands are pitchforks, torches, knives, swords, muskets, pistols, clubs, anything that could be used as a weapon in a pinch. They’re yelling obscenities towards the cabin but otherwise refusing any offensive action, just standing still on the perimeter. Henry ducks back inside and looks to Urmine.

“Does anything seem strange about that angry mob?”

“Like what?”

“Urmine, who the hell brings their own children to a witch hunt?”

Urmine looks back at the crowd and sure enough, among the mob were several pups, kittens, and cubs. They couldn’t have been any older than ten, yet they all seemed to be armed with sharpened pencils and kitchen knives.

“By the gods, what hell is going on out there?” She whispers.

“Is this because we got married? Are witches not allowed to get married? Are chimeras? Did we break the law? Are they going to put us in jail? Is Henry going to get deported?” Gothetta mutters, huddled in the corner of the bedroom.

“No Gothetta, I think they want to far worse things to us than that.” Henry answers.

Gothetta whimpers in response.

“So what the hell do we do now?” Henry asks Urmine.

“We have our brooms by the front door. If we can make a run for it we may be able to get to them and fly away before the witch hunter can get a bead on us. It’s risky, but also the quickest way of making an escape.”

“Talk about a long shot! We’ll be sitting ducks out in the front of the house. And what if-“

*phewww-BOOM*

*phewww-BOOM*

They duck as two explosions rock the front of the house.

“Okay, forget the brooms.” Urmine says.

“Then how the hell else are going to get away?”

“I don’t know but, here, take these.” Urmine hands Henry the eggs. He gingerly receives them, holding them to his chest. “Remember that the witch hunter would only want me or Gothetta. If we can’t find a way out of here you’ll need to take these eggs and run away, far away, as far as your legs will take you.”

“You’re insane! I'm not leaving you and Gothetta here to die. We either make it out of here together or we don’t make it out of here at all.”

“Damnit Henry!” Urmine screeches, grabbing him by the shoulders. “Keeping these eggs safe is priority number one! If me and my sister have to die to make that happen then so be it! I’d rather you make a run for it with the eggs than for you to stay here and die with us in some hopeless last stand. You must keep the hatchlings safe! Got it?”

“O-okay, okay.” He hesitantly replies, shaking his head in an affirmative. “But what other options do we have to all make it out of here alive with the brooms gone?”

“No brooms, the witch hunter would cut me and Gothetta down if we went outside, no one nearby we can call for help, shit-shit-shit. Sister, you have any ideas?”

Gothetta briefly looks to the ground before weakly shaking her head side to side.

“Damnit.” Urmine mutters, taking another peek outside.

“What if you sent me back? Back to Earth?”

“Desummon you?”

“Yes, would it be possible for me to take you back to Earth when I leave? We could hide out at my place and plan our next steps.”

“Well…I don’t think that…Gothetta would that work? A desummoning with two tag alongs?”

“The Book of Summons makes no mention of anything like that. I suppose it could work if we stood next to whoever is getting desummoned, but it’s a total crapshoot!” The doe shrugs.

“Even a crapshoot is better than sticking around here.” Henry urges Urmine.

“Oh, alright. Let’s give it a try. The ritual is already partially setup in the living room so that should speed things up. Gothetta, throw me The Book of Summons!”

The doe gets up and moves to a nearby bookcase, retrieving the requested tome and throwing it over to Urmine. She rips the book open and turns to the instructions for desummoning.

“Alright, this should be the same as last time. All we need is Edmund, tomato paste, a fox tail, yellow daisies, and a rat tail. Henry! You find and retrieve Edmund when we open that door. Gothetta! You get the tomato paste and fox tail. I’ll get the daisies and tail of a rat. We don’t know if the witch hunter is watching us through those windows so we’ll need to be quick. Everyone understand?”

Henry and Gothetta shake their heads affirmatively.

“Alright, let’s go! Our lives depend on it!”

The three of them march up to the door and Urmine throws it open. They’re immediately hit with a torrent of black smoke as the entire front end of the house has become engulfed in flames.

“Eep! The house is one fire Urmine!” Gothetta yelps and coughs.

“I know! I know! Work fast! We’ve got to get the ritual complete before this cabin burns down around us!”

And with that the three of them separate, scrambling to find the necessary ingredients before the smoke filled their lungs and heat burnt their skin. Henry races between the various shelves that held bottles and boxes of ingredients, soon finding the bottle of healing potion with a dead frog still floating within. He moves to grab it but quickly realizes that trying to juggle two delicate large eggs and a slippery potion bottle is more than a little tricky, and runs off to find Urmine’s backpack muttering expletives the entire way. Gothetta scrambles around the house in search of the tomato paste and fox tail, quickly sussing out the location of the paste but soon finding much more difficulty in acquiring the fox tail. She throws open the lid to a chest of furs and loose tails, rummaging through it in an attempt to find her last ingredient.

“Orange with a white tip, orange with a white tip, orange with a white tip, orange with a white tip.” She whispers to herself.

She then pulls three tails out of the chest. One is red with a yellow tip. One is orange with a white tip. The final one is dark red with a light green tip. Her eyes dart between the three of them, groaning with dread as she tries to make a decision.

“This would be so much easier if I weren’t color blind…”

Urmine races to a vase of daisies located near the kitchen, blowing out some budding flames on their flowers before running over to the shelf where the rat tails were stored. She takes down one of the boxes on the shelf and opens the lid to find…nothing.

“Empty? Of all the days to run out of rat tails, why this one?”

Urmine rummages around the shelf in an attempt to find a spare tail or two, only to come up with nothing but more empty boxes and dashed hopes. Beginning to grow desperate, she looks around the burning cabin, eyes watering up from the smoke. Her eyes soon run across a jar sitting on a shelf across the room, it’s labeled ‘Rat Bones’. Urmine quickly rushes to the jar and rubs the dust off its surface, finding the inside to be filled with a random collection of rat skulls, ribs, leg bones, and all sorts of other bones that defied easy identification.

“Surely there’s enough rat bones in here to make up one rat tail.” She desperately reassures herself, then dashes to the summoning circle used for Henry’s resummoning the previous day.

Gothetta and Henry are already waiting there for her, their eggs in a backpack strapped to Henry’s shoulders. Smoke fills the air and burning cinders float through the house, the interior fully bathed in an undulating red light.

“I’ve already touched up the summoning circle sister, all that’s left is to put down the ingredients and say the required lines.” Gothetta tells her.

“Good, hand me the- why are you wearing mother’s hat?!”

“Well we can’t let it burn up with the house! It’s all we have left of dear old mom.”

“I can’t say I disagree with you. Now stand aside! Let me prepare the offerings for the ritual before this house turns into our tomb!”

Urmine begins placing the offerings around the edge of the summoning circle. First the burnt daisies, then the contents of the jar of rat bones, then the tomato paste and fox tail. Gothetta leans in beside Urmine, whispering.

“That is a fox tail, right?”

“Looks like one to me, why do you ask?”

“Just wanted to make sure, I had to identify it by smell.”

Urmine mutters something under her breath and leans up, the offerings now ready.

“Henry, stand in the center and take Edmund out of his bottle. Gothetta, stand off to the side and only enter the summoning circle when I tell you to.”

They take their positions and Urmine stands just outside the circle, the Book of Summons raised and her claws pointed towards Henry.

“Alright, now resurrect the frog Henry!” Urmine bellows, the air becoming thick with black smoke and cinders.

He places a couple fingers on the frog’s belly and pushes downward, healing liquid spurting out from its mouth as its lungs take in new air. After a few more pushes the frog awakens, its limbs swinging wildly in the air as it’s finally brought back into the world of the living. It attempts to hop away but Henry catches it mid-jump, holding the slippery amphibian with an iron grip. Seeing the frog’s resurrection Urmine looks to the tome, reciting the required incantation in the same backwards, unnatural cadence as the first time she desummoned him.

”gnieb otni tsaeb lanrac siht htrib dna hsiw ym llifluf ,gnillif ti dnif llahs uoy dna gnireffo ym tpeccA!“

”daerps ydnas ym nopu mih ecalp dna deb ysor sih morf mih lluP!“

”referp lliw eh sgnaf dna sreltna ,ruf rof stsul ohw erutaerc elibun A!“

”rovalf tnednelpser dna eugnot deppit yenoh htiW !erutan eliriv dna niks fo tsaeb A!“

”eeht ot tsaeb lacihtym a tnarg dna aelp elbmuh ym ot netsil ,evoba snevaeh dna woleb serif!“

As soon as it’s complete a bolt of blue lightning shoots from the summoning circle and into Urmine’s hand. At the same time the roof begins to fall down into the living room, a heavy wooden beam crashing into the dining room table completely shattering it. Urmine flinches, then shouts to Gothetta.

“Now! Get into the summoning circle with me!”

The witches rush forward and embrace Henry in a tight hug as the cabin continues to fall apart around them.

“I-is it working?” Gothetta yells, eyes closed.

“Yes, yes I see purple smoke.” Henry replies craning his neck around her to look down. “Just a few more-“

Another beam from the roof crashes into the floor next to them, showering the newlyweds in splinters, ash, and sparks.

“Hurry up-hurry up-hurry up!” Gothetta cries.

Several skulls that hung from the sister’s ceiling fall to the ground and break into fragments as the heat and fire break the ropes that once secured them. Henry looks upward to see what could only be described as a dragon skull dangling precariously above them. His eyes move to the rope that secures it to the ceiling and…it’s already on fire.

“You got to be fucking kidding me.” He mutters, looking downward to find that the purple smoke had only gone to their waists. “Just hold tight everyone, we’re almost out of here!” He yells, hugging the sisters tighter as his look on in dread as the rope continues to disintegrate.

The dragon skull first jolts downward, then stops, then finally breaks free as it hurtles towards the summoning circle. Henry closes his eyes as it gets nearer, certain that his short life was already over. The hulking bone falls through the smoke and cinder, the fiery sight no doubt familiar to its original owner. The jaw opens and its many sharp teeth seemed poise to tear into the three of them.

Yet the skull would only taste ashen wood, dark sand, and burnt daisies that day, its final meal having been whisked away in the nick of time.