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My Life is Super Profiles: The Lumberjack

Height: 7’11’’

Weight: 350 lbs

Eye Colour: Brown

Hair Colour: Red

Species: Fur - Bear

Abilities: Peak physical condition. Keen intellect. Armed with several ‘lumberjack styled’ weaponry and equipment.

Threat Index: 8

Power Class: A-Level

Alignment: Lawful Evil

Status: Active

Appearance: Powerfully built, bodybuilder body type bear with thick, messy red hair commonly kept beneath a red beanie. Possesses square features and a thick, chorded neck crowned with a short, trimmed red beard. Subject also sports dark brown fur over his body that forms a stark contrast against his red hair. Wears a plain shirt with no undershirt beneath that sits mostly open across his bare chest which is likewise covered in a thick matt of red chest hair. The sleeves of the shirt are rolled up to his biceps, revealing thick forearms covered in red fuzz. Generally wears torn denim jeans and thick black boots. His quads are enormous and stretch the denim obscenely. Wields a vibro-blade axe over his shoulder and heavy worker’s gloves.

Background: Born Paul Booyan, the villain that would eventually become known as the Lumberjack was raised by parents who disliked the modernisation of the entire world and decided to live out in the wilderness and live off the land. From the onset, Paul’s father – a former personal trainer – pushed him to be his physical best while his mother – an engineer – sharpened his mind. By the time he was a teenager, Paul was already an impressive specimen of a man but one with an intense interest in the city lights that he could see in the distance.

One day, he wandered into the city on his own. Unfortunately, a cloistered lifestyle did not prepare him for the vices and temptations of city life. Seeing the physically intimidating and handsome, Paul, several people sought to take advantage of the penniless and gullible man. He was brought on as a gun for hire for the infamous Black Crown Gang which saw him as a common thug. The leader of the Black Crown, the King, saw his potential and trained him further in the arts of intimidation and manipulation.

Paul quickly grew accustomed to the lifestyle of a gang thug and quickly rose through the ranks of the Black Crown, gaining a reputation as a walking wall of muscle and the King’s right hand man. He worked with the Black Crown for ever five years, involving himself in numerous felony and extortion related offences. However, When the Black Crown eventually collapsed with the imprisonment of the King Paul quickly found himself at a loss on what to do. With no desire to return to the wilderness and his sheltered life he took what funds he could from the collapsing gang and made his home at a lumberyard where he was an unknown.

There, he worked as a seemingly innocent employee but secretly used his funds and skills as an engineer to put together equipment and weaponry that he could use to be his own King. Using what he could from the lumberyard, he amassed an arsenal of woodsman-themed weapons. Including several saw-blade launchers, exploding hatchets and numerous prototype Axe’s. But even while he worked towards arming himself he also made many friends amongst his fellow employees and used the techniques he had learned from the King to plant the seed of discontent into their hearts. Away from their families for long periods of time, working in somewhat dangerous environments and under an abusing foreman for little pay, Paul quickly staged an uprising that saw the foreman kicked out and set himself as ruler of the gang.

When the authorities arrived at the lumberyard to arrest Paul, he was gone and so were all the rebels. Paul had retreated into the forests where he and his men quickly built their own camouflaged base of operations. With his small army, he raided military stockpiles, caravans and even research laboratories all to better increase their numbers. Any of those who may have been against turning to a life of crime where either manipulated and blackmailed or intimidated into obedience depending on the situation. As stories of their successful raids grew many others flocked to Paul’s banner either by tales of good pay or through his men he had sent to recruit the disenfranchised and discontent blue collar workers.

All the while, Paul continued to perfect his own body and weaponry. Using the weapons and technology he obtained from various raids, he eventually managed to create an omni-resistant weave shirt that was heat, cold, electric and even shock resistant. This was an older version of the omni-res fabric, however, and was made to look like a red plaid shirt which he accepted wholeheartedly as it fit his new persona, the Lumberjack. Though he managed to upgrade the strength of his shirt over the years, it has always remained the same design purely for aesthetics.

Perhaps his greatest weapon is his vibro-blade axe. The weapon is capable of slicing through almost all matter on a molecular level and was made specifically to only be held by him thanks to biometric tracing. Anyone else who touches the weapon will get a nasty shock to their system powerful enough to knock out almost any normal man.

Over the years, the Lumberjack has become a notorious villain in his own right not only for his brutality on the field but also his charm and keen, tactical sense. He picks his targets very well and is a known expert in close ranged combat. He has faced off against the likes of Killer Kitty, Graviro and Vigilant all with varying degrees of success. Though incarcerated multiple times, he has always managed to escape.

He has shown a rather keen interest in chopping down wood and has often stated that his greatest goal is to rend the Crossover Memorial Forest in Washington State, US simply because of the enormous trees that grown there, outclassing the redwood forests of old. This often puts him in direct opposition to environment-loving or three-themed supervillains such as Yggdrasil, Natura or Wildling. Heroes have been known to exploit this rivalry where appropriate.

It was during a short tenure in the underwater prison of Mara off the coast of Japan that he encountered his lifelong partners in crime, the Foreman and the Courier. Seeing kindred spirits in the blue collar-themed villains, they immediately teamed up and developed a strong loyalty to one another that is rather rare amongst villains. He benefited from Foreman’s massive arsenal and various bases, learning much from Foreman’s specialisation in town planning, structural integrity and uncanny ability to obtain blueprints of almost any building. Further, the Courier’s tactical genius and navigation skills supplemented his own engineering prowess making the trio form the deadly team known only as ‘The Working Men’.

While all three maintained their own gangs separately, they often collaborate on larger schemes and help supplement each other’s weaknesses. Interestingly, a common trend has been found amongst the three, finding that they only hire men and provide them with a specialized form of training that generally tends to develop said men into large, burly bear-like frames. It is curious how despite the fact that the Lumberjack has no powers whatsoever, he somehow inspires men to let them grow hair on their chests and to develop beards. Regardless of their prior status and even if they are completely bald. Some suspect that he feeds them some type of mutagen or has some latent Outsider level power that stimulates his followers genes to allow them to gain a similar hairy physique as well as incredible muscle mass within a short period of time.

Rumours of homosexual affection between the Lumberjack, Foreman and the Courier is abundant. These are often dismissed by the trio as propaganda launched at them by the various superhero teams though there is no denying that for some reason or another, no matter the situation, if one or more of them were to be doused in oil, the men would just drop whatever they are doing, strip down and proceed to rub one another or themselves entirely in the slick substance leading to some rather outrageous fights and videos. Whether or not this is a tactical move on their part to disarm their opponents or some sort mental programming by a higher power is unknown though it is rumoured that it could be the doing of the supervillain, the Gaymster.

Lumberjack has fought various superhero teams in his career as a villain and has, to date, stolen a total of 10 billion US dollars, caused over 6 billion in damage to property and directly or indirectly caused over a thousand deaths. It is curious to note that despite his villainous inclinations, he does not condone death of any kind. Perhaps this is due to his leanings to support the working man or simply because he seizes every opportunity to recruit anyone into his gang.

To this date, Lumberjack is still at large.

Secret Agent Shifter – The Lumberjack

“We’ll land dropped three clicks from the lumberyard to avoid detection. The Lumberjack has a hell of a lot of troops under his belt. We don’t know what he’s building but you can be assured that it can’t be good.”

Caleb Hale flicked his big lupine ears absently forwards. “So tell me again why we don’t have the supers taken care of this? Call the Elemental Alliance or something. I hear they’re really popular with this guy.”

Bren sounded annoyed on the speaker. “Because we’re heading into Canada, Shifter. It’s out of their jurisdiction.”

The wolf turned his blue eyes towards the hulking mass of fur and wolf sitting beside him. “Must piss off your old man that you’re out here, huh?”

The beast grunted loudly and folded all four of his arms across his chest. “My dad doesn’t control me. He wanted to restrain me. Called me a ‘monster that needed to be tamed’. So I trashed downtown West Cali Island. I was pissed off.”

“Just because The cashier at that Walmart didn’t have exact change?”

“And he was an asshole about it!” Lance ‘Feral Fang’ Clarke growled. He flexed his enormous biceps, the sound of his muscles bunching clearly audible. Despite the cold in the military issue dropship, he only wore a pair of thick, black shorts with the emblem of two F’s on his enormous belt. At 10 feet tall, he was a titan amongst furs and had the muscle build to prove it.

Caleb crossed his own arms, flexing for the guy beneath his own all-black attire specially made for him and his abilities. “Hey, don’t worry big guy. I’m sure the jerk deserved it.”

“Just remember our mission objective, team. We’re here to stop Lumberjack. Don’t get distracted.”

“Please. We’re nothing but focused.”

A loud snort came from the third and last member of their team, currently standing in front of the door to the dropship. His jet-black fur was flecked with snow as the dropship slowly lowered its altitude. His long, blue coat billowed in the wind, spikey blonde hair staying in perfect spikes despite the winds. It was something that came from being a fully-fledged super.

“Got something to say, Reaper?” Caleb snarled.

Samuel ‘Legion’ Reaper glanced over his should, sapphire blue eyes cocky just like his smirk. “Looks like our readers have finally decided to check out this little side-story. I’m sure they’ll enjoy the fact that you often get ‘distracted’.”

It was more of their resident super’s insane babbling. Legion was arguably the most powerful of them all even though Lance was a mutant and comparable to a super himself. Caleb, as an agent, was classified as the weakest. According to the official military records, he had B-Level powers. Lance was A-Level and Sam was S-Level. Together, the three of them made up the top secret military team known as Cerberus. When supers wouldn’t or couldn’t act, when the military and local law enforcement were ill equipped for the job and when all odds were stacked against success, Cerberus was called. They were the ones that broke the siege, shattered the equilibrium and won the day.

“You know we have fun,” Caleb snickered, lewdly groping his crotch. “Why don’t you join us sometime? I’m sure I can take your superpowers. I heard you guys can plough really hard!”

Reaper turned away from him, only making Caleb grin with satisfaction. “Bren, how far until the LZ?”

“Just about five more minutes… Hang on… Fuck!”

The metal interior of the dropship was suddenly bathed in red light and abruptly twisted to the side. Caleb was hurled against Lance who quickly caught him. Lance’s strong paws slammed him against the wall and strapped him down.

“What did I tell you about putting on your seatbelt, puppy?” growled the powerhouse of their team.

Caleb just grinned and licked Lance’s nose lightly. “Any excuse to get your paws on me, handsome.”

Lance fought off a grin and rested back against his own seat, strapping himself in. “Legion! Get back in your seat!”

The super shook his head. Slowly, chains began rising from beneath his coat spreading out wide into the form of a pair of skeletal wings. “You two better undo those seatbelts. This dropship isn’t going to make it.”

“What makes you so sure?”

Reaper then stepped aside and hiked a thumb over his shoulder. “That.”

Caleb’s eyes widened. There was a line of angry, glowing, red rockets hurtling straight towards them. A horizon of greyish smoke divided the sky in half. “Oh fuck me…”

Legion glanced towards the cockpit. “Bren, did you want me to liquefy you to avoid the uncertainty of surviving this crash?”

“Have some faith in me, Reaper. I can do this.”

“Famous last words.” The winged wolf turned back towards the incoming missiles. “There’s more coming from the ground. Bren might be able to survive this without being scattered. You two might too but it’s going to hurt a lot. And you don’t want to be missing a leg when going against the Lumberjack.”

Caleb immediately unbuckled himself and staggered as he got to his feet. He grinned. “I always wanted to do use my powers after jumping out of a plane! Out of my way!”

“Shifter!” Lance shouted but Caleb was already bowling past Sam and hurling himself out the dropship’s door.

“Yaaaaa-hooooo!” he cried, spreading his arms and spinning wildly through the air. True to Sam’s claim, there were rockets springing up from the snow-covered forests beneath them. The dropship wasn’t going to survive this one.

With a wild grin on his face, he reached for one of the compartments on his thigh. Before he could press the button, a blue shape shot past him, a trail of rose petals flittering by his face. Sam suddenly darted towards the incoming rockets, swinging a blood-red rapier through the air. Every slash caused a blast of petals to shoot out of the arc of his swing. He moved with lightning speed, almost teleporting from one rocket to the other. It wasn’t really his actual superpower, though. He just ‘borrowed’ the power from the artefact, Rosethorn. That on top of his various other weapons made him incredibly powerful and adaptive. Little wonder why he was an ‘S-Level’.

Caleb had stopped trying to compete with him a long time ago.

Besides, he had his own abilities.

As Sam filled the forest with explosions, Caleb pressed a button on his thigh. There was a soft hiss and he pulled out a syringe with a bright red goo inside. He jabbed it straight into his neck, feeling the rush of power flood through his entire system.

“Ooooh yeah!”

Sensing the serum at work, his all-black body suit suddenly liquefied into a slick, black goo. Obtaining a degree of sentience of its own, the goo slipped off his torso and shoulders, sliding into compartments in his heavy, military-issue cargo pants. His boots acted much in the same way and just in time for his feet to double in size. His black claws sank into his toes and instead, thick, grey nails emerged. His grey and white fur stood on end before a thick, grey, leathery hide began consuming them. Muscles expanded all over his body, each group that surged outwards another rush of adrenaline, endorphins and testosterone that made him want to smash, crush and fuck anything that moved. He let out another cry, this time an octave deeper than his true voice as his neck thickened and his vocal cords expanded. Two, big, black horns shot out of his face, one just at the tip of his nose and the other, slightly smaller one, just before the first.

He swung his massive, growing hands over his head and –

BOOM!

Came crashing into the ground, sending a shockwave so powerful that it uprooted several of the ancient trees immediately around him. The crater he created shattered many of the mobile missile platforms around him. Caleb grinned, his blue eyes glowing with a surreal light, Alphonse Newman’s serum coursing through his veins.

There was another boom right beside him and he glanced off to his right just as Lance’s own shockwave washed over him. The mighty, hulking, four armed titan rose out of the ground, shrugging his massive shoulders.

Caleb just loved it when his boyfriend did the whole ‘Terminator rising’ thing. It was a massive turn on. Then again, in his current state anything was a turn-on even Sam’s insane babbling. He shook his head as black goo shot out of the compartments in his pants and immediately adapted to his new shape, giving him a nice black tank top.

“I see you went with the Rhino Serum,” Alphonse ‘Shark Tamer’ Newman said through his earpiece. “Excellent! I am eager to see how well your thick hide works against the Lumberjack’s vibro-blade axe!”

“Thanks doc,” Caleb grumbled sarcastically. “But I’m going to try and avoid getting cut up by a maniac Paul Bunyan.”

“Fair enough. I wouldn’t want to lose the one and only Chimera-Class Gene Warrior, after all.”

Caleb shrugged his massive shoulders, grinning confidently. “Glad you care, doc.”

There was a third boom but it was distant and came from overhead. One glance at the sky confirmed that Bren and their dropship just went up in flames. He pressed a finger against his ear.

“Doc, can you tell us where Bren landed? I imagine after crashing, he might be splattered all over the place.”

“Calculating now… Give me a minute.”

The underbrush shuffled. Caleb turned his head towards the sound and sighed. Large, burly men dressed in ridiculous red plain shirts, torn denim pants and thick, heavy work boots came striding out of the woodwork. Each of them were armed to the teeth. Lumberjack’s personal army. Red targeting lasers began running over Caleb’s enormous 8’9’’ frame, running over his titanic pectorals with the black tank top fitting snugly over their frame.

“Get back to me when you can, doc. I’ve got company.”

“Try not to hurt them too seriously, Caleb. I’ve very curious how all these men could suddenly grow up to 7 feet tall, develop immense muscle structures and rapidly grow facial and body hair in a matter of months despite being fully mature.”

“Sure doc. I won’t beat them up.” He pulled his finger out of his tube-like ear. “At least not too badly.”

He cracked his new, thick, grey knuckles ominously, tamping the ground as he lowered his new horn towards them. “Okay boys. Who’s first?”

Lumberjack’s army consisted exclusively of huge guys, human and fur alike. All of them looked like they stepped out of a stereotypical porn scene with chests so wide that they were practically bursting out of their shirts, beards perfectly styled in different ways and biceps so large that they were tearing through their shirts. If they weren’t aiming guns at Caleb, the wolf-turned-rhino would have willingly torn off his uniform and offers his ass to the first hairy guy that could get to him.

But he couldn’t get distracted.

“Come oooooon!” he roared and charged forward. Guns flared, bullets shooting through the air. Caleb felt them bounce off his special, genetically engineered hide. It would leave some light bruising but thanks to the powers given by the serum, they would heal quickly. He bowled right through the line of men, thrusting his horn into the air but careful not to gore anyone. With a simple swing of his massive arm, he sent a 350 pound guy flying into a tree, unconscious.

A mirroring cry erupted from nearby and Lance suddenly came shooting from the trees. The stunned men were momentarily paralysed. Lance picked two of them in his massive arms and slammed them into the ground with the force of a truck. Shirtless and a furry hulk, Lance struck fear into the men and they quickly began to turn to flee.

Caleb reached for his Serum Compartment, knowing he couldn’t let the guys flee but then kicked himself for forgetting to pack the Cheetah Serum. Alphonse had so many Serums it was hard to pack them all into his pockets for a mission.

He didn’t need to worry.

As the men were fleeing, a light shower of rose petals surrounded them. They suddenly went down with a cry, their hamstrings sliced. Sam stepped out from behind a large tree, his chain wings spread ominously. Acting like a second pair of arms, the wings lashed out and pinned all but one of the guys to the ground, wrapping around their bodies and holding them in place. The last guy was picked up by his wing and hurled straight towards Lance.

Feral Fang caught the man out of the air like one would a football and slammed him against the tree.

“The Lumberjack!” Lance roared. “Where the fuck is he!?”

The guy may have been three hundred pounds of muscle but Lance was double that and the growling features of Feral Fang was not something you wanted to be on the receiving end of.

“I don’t know!” the guy shouted. “Please! I’m just a grunt!”

“Liar!” Lance slammed him against the tree. “Tell me where the fuck the Lumberjack is or I’ll split you in half!”

“All I know is that he’s at the lumber mill! It’s three miles that way!” He pointed to the north with matched up with the direction that they were initially headed. “He’s probably in the lab beneath the mill!”

Sam stepped coolly into view. “What has he got planned?”

“I don’t know!”

The black wolf sighed and glanced towards Lance. “You know when he said he’ll ‘split you in half’, he wasn’t talking about bifurcating you with his paws. No, he meant he’d pin you down, rip your pants off and stick his dick in you until you’re wrapped around his cock like a condom.” His blue eyes snapped back towards the man. “I suggest you tell him exactly what he wants to know, Oswald, or you’ll find out just how big a dick a guy like Feral Fang here has. And let me tell you, Rule 34 does this guy no justice.”

And that was Sam’s true superpower; the ability to read minds. It made him a deadly combatant with the weapons that he summoned which was actually magical in nature. Again another reason he was S-Level. Unfortunately, his mind reading apparently only came on a ‘basic level’ meaning that he didn’t have the strength to puncture through an individual’s mental defences. If someone didn’t want to tell him something, he couldn’t pry it from them.

That didn’t mean he couldn’t use other pieces of information to intimidate them.

“Okay! Okay!” Oswald begged. “Lumberjack is building some sort of vehicle down there. It’s mean to be big enough that it can cleave through this entire forest in a matter of days!”

That was quite alarming and Caleb stepped forward. “You’re serious?” He then glanced towards Sam. “Is he serious?”

“That’s what Lumberjack is telling his men,” answered the wolf worriedly. “You thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Yeah. That’s just the sales pitch. There’s going to be more. Fringe benefits.”

Oswald struggled against Lance’s grip. “No! That’s not true! The Lumberjack wants to cut down all the fucking trees in this place! The government controls the woodcutting industry and is trying to phase out wood in favour of synthetic materials! They’re kicking average joes like me out of house and home! He’s teaching them a lesson!”

“You know what would make a fantastic lesson?” Caleb grinned devilishly. “Being a fucking rhino.”

Oswald’s eyes widened in terror. “Wh – what!? No!? Stay away from me! Don’t you –”

Caleb immediately advanced on the human, pressing his lips against the man’s and shoving his tongue down the guy’s throat. Infection achieved. He groped Oswald’s crotch, massaging it and encouraging blood flow. The moment he could feel the cock stiffening in his hands, the transformation was triggered.

He pulled away and Lance immediately dropped the mutating man. All three members of Cerberus turned away. They had seen the transformation occur many times before. Oswald’s cries of panic soon transformed from fear and pleas of mercy to shouts of ecstasy and pleasure. Sam released the other soldiers he had held captive, letting them flee. It didn’t take long before Oswald’s entire form erupted in a burst of growth, the already enormous man rising to a tremendous 8’10’’ rhino, fully naked with a chest full of hair and a thick beard.

Pleased with his work, Caleb stepped aside. “Go get ‘em boy.”

Driven by primal instincts, Oswald roared and chased after his former comrades.

“He’ll be a good distraction,” Lance grunted. “Let’s go find Bren.” He pressed a finger against his own ear. “Got that crash site for us, Doc?”

“I do indeed,” Alphonse responded. “Sending you the coordinates now…”

******

When they arrived at the crash site, they found Bren standing in front of the devastated dropship, completely unharmed. The tiger’s suit was still in pristine condition and he still wore the same pair of sunglasses like he always did.

“So much for the element of surprise,” said the feline, approaching them. “There was nothing in our plans or scouting reports about missile platforms within the forest.” He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “This doesn’t bode well… Lumberjack’s resources and arsenal are certainly impressive but they shouldn’t be this large.”

“You suspect he’s working with someone?” Sam asked.

“He’s always working with someone. He’s part of the Working Men, remember? He’s got the support of Foreman and Courier. But yes, I think there’s another party here. Someone else that’s given him such impressive weaponry.” Shaking his head, Bren strode past Cerberus. “Come on, let’s hurry to the lumber mill. I want to get to the bottom of this.”

Bren’s entire form suddenly lost all colour; his orange and black fur became a slick, silver, his suit shifting into a metallic grey. His entire body liquefied and shot forward, possessed by his incredible will and darking ahead with the speed of a bullet.

“I’ll never get used to that,” Caleb admitted.

“That’s because you watched that ancient movie, Terminator, and got freaked out by the Liquid Metal Terminator,” Lance chuckled, clapping his back lightly. Had he been in his original lupine form, that blow would have sent him flying. But being a rhino, even though it was only temporarily, ensure he was rooted in position.

“It was the basis of Bren’s design,” Sam supplied. “And naturally our Bren had to be different. The guy in the main storyline is just a single consciousness shared across multiple cloned bodies.”

“Huh?”

“Nevermind. We better catch up with him.” He glanced up at Lance. “Can I get a lift?”

“What? Your super speed can’t take you there?”

“Not as fast as you or as Bren and you know that.”

That was something that made Cerberus rather unique. All three of its members had a degree of adaptability. While Sam’s adaptability came with his weapons, his baseline superpowers were average. Caleb’s various forms and shapes gave him varying degrees of endurance, strength and speed depending on what shape his took. Lance got more powerful the more kinetic energy he absorbed. Any bullet that struck him only made him stronger and faster but… a little dumber. Even the simple act of running could empower him. If he absorbed too much, he tended to go berserk and only time would calm him… or ploughing his boyfriend as they had discovered.

Lance crouched down and Sam leapt up onto his shoulders. Feral Fang grinned down at Caleb. “Race ya to the lumber mill.”

“Last one there gets to bottom.”

The two shot through the forest, Caleb keeping his horn down as he weaved between the tree trunks. The more he got to charge uninterrupted, the faster he became; another benefit of this form. He reached for his pumping legs, gripping a device latched onto his belt and pulled it up to eyelevel.

“One hour, seven minutes,” he grunted. “Plenty of time.” He let go of the little timer and it zipped back towards his belt on a retractable string.

It took them a good thirty minutes to get to lumberyard. Lance beat him which only excited him a little more once they got back to base. Feral Fang let down Sam who folded his wings back beneath his cloak so he was less conspicuous. They met Bren at the edge of the lumberyard, crouched low and in the shadows. The sun was starting to set, casting darkness onto the stacks of wood, parked trucks and various pieces of equipment lying around. Lumberjack’s men milled about, doing some final preparations before no doubt heading into the living areas to the rear of the facility.

“Okay, let’s wait here until the sun completely sets,” Bren said. “Once we’re under the cover of darkness, let’s sneak in, find Lumberjack and put a stop to whatever the hell he’s planning.”

“I won’t last that long,” Caleb said, reaching for the timer again. “Only got about thirty-seven minutes here. Then I’ll need to take a fifteen minute break before I can take another serum.”

“What serums did you pack?”

Caleb checked the canister on his thigh. “Got a spare rhino, bear, lion, crocodile and orca.”

“Why did you bring orca?”

He gave Bren a lopsided smile. “Come on. Supervillains with no actual powers always have a shark tank.”

Bren glanced at Sam who shrugged in return.

“It’s either a shark tank, crocodile pit or moat filled with electric eels,” answered the black wolf.

“Whatever,” the tiger muttered, glancing back towards the lumberyard. “You can last. We wait here another until the sun sets and then –”

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!”

All three of them flinched. Lance suddenly burst out from the underbrush, his fists in the air. Lumberjack’s men jerked back in terror and scrambled to bring their guns up but by that time, Lance was already charging towards them. Feral Fang plough right through an eighteen wheeler without stopping, sending the vehicle flying several feet into the air and crashing into the brown, metal frame of the lumber mill. He tore a huge log from one of the stacks and swung it wildly like one would a bat, smashing right through a sentry tower and sending its inhabitants hurtling towards the ground.

Caleb rose to his feet. “I’ll go tame the savage beast. You two do what you do best.”

The rhino shot out of the underbrush, horn down and charging hard and fast. He skidded to a halt in time to catch the falling man before he became a blood red stain on the ground. The man stared up at him in terror and pointed behind him. All too aware of the falling debris, Caleb curled his body around the huge lumberjack-like man and braced himself. The entire sentry tower crashed around him, wood and metal slamming against his hide. Gritting his teeth together, he endured the pain until he no longer felt the strong slams against his frame. With a grunt, he jerked his horn upwards and tore right through the pile of debris over him. He broke free a moment later, pulling the man to his feet.

“Thank you!” gasped the stocky, hairy otter. “You saved my life!”

“Hmmmm… Don’t go thanking me just yet.”

WHAM!

The otter’s eyes rolled into his head and he slumped into the ground, a bruise already starting to well up around his face. Caleb shook his massive hand and turned to where Lance was tearing up the lumberyard. The soldiers were firing wildly at Lance but what they failed to realise his powers. One of the benefits of being a top secret team of agents that the government kept under wraps. Their powers, abilities and skills were strictly off the books. But that was also a disadvantage especially when it came to Lance. Everyone’s natural reaction to the hulking wolf was to shoot him but the bullets only bounced off his hard skin, all that kinetic force making Lance stronger, beastlier and madder.

“FANG SMASH!”

“He’s gone,” Caleb sighed heavily. He shook his head and reached for the compartment on his left thigh. He pulled out an aerosol can and gave it a couple of shakes. “But damn is he sexy when he’s mad.”

With no time to give Lance a happy ending, Caleb rushed towards his boyfriend. When he was like this, it was hard to keep casualties to a minimum. He could see several of Lumberjack’s men slumped on the ground, injured but still alive.

“Hey Doc,” he said. “You might want to get a recovery crew over here ASAP. Got a lot of injured people here.”

“Fang on a rampage again?”

“Yep.”

“You’ll have enough of the neutralising agent?”

“Brought three cans, doc.”

“Hope it’ll be enough.”

“Me too…”

Ahead, Lance had two huge logs in his arms and was swinging them wildly like bats. Caleb ducked beneath one such swing and lowered his horn and shoulder. Lance had his back to him and was too busy bashing a tank over and over again to see him.

“Sorry about this, babe,” Caleb muttered.

BAM!

He slammed right into Lance and bounced off like he had just struck a three foot thick steel wall. The impact only made Lance stronger, madder and that little bit stupider. But it also caught Feral Fang’s attention. The mutant spun around, fangs bared and his eyes glowing an angry red.

“Hey hun,” Caleb said, thrusting the aerosol can forward. He pushed the button. A thick, purple cloud shot out of the can’s head, spraying into Lance’s face. The huffing, heaving wolf took in the neutralising agent without knowing it. Lance’s breathing started to slow and his legs began to waver and shake.

“Uuuuuurgh…”

Feral Fang fell to his knees, dropping the logs onto either side of him. The big lug slumped forward, his eyes shifting to a close and loud snores rising from his mighty chest. Caleb smiled softly and stroked the huge wolf’s brown hair.

“Don’t worry, Fang. We got this. You just rest here.”

The rest of Lumberjack’s men were retreating into the lumber mill itself. Alarms were blaring everywhere and he could see massive steel doors already starting to shut, armoured plating sliding over windows and no doubt reinforcing the entire interior. A nuclear blast probably wouldn’t be able to cut through such thick plating. That was where he needed to be and he didn’t have much time. One glance over his shoulder at the distant forest and he quietly hoped Sam and Bren had managed to make it inside already.

With a nod, he got to his feet and charged.

The doors were closing rapidly, two huge, red doors swinging towards one another with Lumberjack’s men behind it, shouting and screaming for their comrades to hurry.

He had four seconds before they slammed shut.

Caleb picked up the speed, feet stomping on the ground, horn down.

Three…

The last of the soldiers slipped past the door, shouting and seizing guns.

…Two…

Bullets came flying towards Caleb, peppering his bulletproof skin.

…One…

Caleb let out a terrifying roar and hurled himself through the closing doors. He tucked himself into a ball, rolling forward and bowling over several of Lumberjack’s stocky troops. Thanks to his combat training, he rolled up onto his feet. Though he found himself surrounded by dozens of armed guards and with nearly a hundred laser sights riddling his body… he couldn’t help but grin.

“Guess who, motherfuckers?”

Outside the lumber mill, emerging from the underbrush, a single figure emerged. She brushed aside her long, blonde hair. When a single strand didn’t comply, she delicately brushed it behind her ear with supple, manicured fingers. Cool blue eyes hid behind a pair of sunglasses. She lifted her wrist towards her luscious, red lips.

“They managed to make it in. Except for Feral Fang. He went berserk and they had to neutralise him. He’s currently asleep outside. Shall I proceed?”

“Retrieve the sample. Purge the data. Leave Lumberjack to his fate.”

“And Cerberus?”

“Leave them to Lumberjack.”

She smiled. “You got it.”

******

Sam peered down into the laboratory. On the surface, Lumberjack’s base seemed like a military base poorly disguised as a lumberyard but beneath it was a huge, high-tech laboratory complete with sterilised, recycled air, clean, white floors, walls and ceilings, men walking around in lab coats and hazmat suits and with machinery of unknown purpose littering the area.

“Huh, reminds me of home,” he murmured softly from where he crouched up in the steel rafters above ‘Laboratory 3’.

“You never talk about your home,” Bren said, standing nonchalantly beside him. Despite the thin platform which required Sam to crouch to maintain his balance, the tiger stood completely without requiring any support and with his arms folded coolly. “In fact, you rarely speak about yourself.”

“Do I sense an episode where we deal with ‘trust issues’ amongst the team?” Sam responded with a smirk. “And if you must know, my place is completely white. A little like this lab. It’s kind of why it reminded me of it.”

“Is that how you got those wings? You were experimented on?”

There, Sam laughed softly. “No. That was… from a choice I made.”

“And your lack of a tail?”

“A consequence… and a poor choice.” He leaned over the edge a little. “Why would Lumberjack need with this sort of equipment? From his dossier, he’s a got a keen intellect for engineering but nothing like this…”

“You recognise any of the things they’re doing?”

He shook his head. “No. I can only guess that with all that bubbling liquid, it can’t be good. Kind of psychedelic as well how it keeps changing colours.”

Bren snorted. “Don’t suppose that’s just all for glow sticks, do you? This isn’t all some effort to make the most kickass rave party this side of the States?”

“Somehow I doubt it.” Sam glanced back at the tiger. “You know what’s funny? The main story is set in the 30th century. We’re in the 22nd and Canada is still a State of the US.”

Bren didn’t seem impressed. “You’re doing it again.”

“Not entirely for your benefit.” Sam glanced back towards the lab. “I’m guessing you want to grab a sample of that stuff?”

“Yes. Shark will probably want to examine it.”

“Okay. How do you want to do this?”

A third voice suddenly cut in, making both men freeze.

“How about with you two men dying?”

They both spun around –

WHAM!

And got a high heeled boot to the face. They were sent flying off the rafters. Sam crashed into a desk, breaking it completely in half. The computer on it went flying before landing on his diaphragm, pushing all the air out of his lungs. Bren hit the ground and instantly liquefied into a pile of grey goo. Through the tears, Sam shoved the desktop off his chest and looked up at his assailant.

A slim, agile figure flipped and somersaulted through the rafters before leaping off and landing deftly on her feet a short distance away. The skin-tight, black, leather suit she wore accentuated every inch of her body from her firm breasts, sultry hips and sexy, long legs. The dark attire was a stark contrast to her porcelain skin and long, blonde hair.

“That hurt…” Sam grumbled, rising to his feet.

Bren began to reform, his head rising from the puddle of goo which horrified the burly scientists and guards around them. “Holy Mary…”

“This is no time to turn to God, Bren.”

“No, that’s her codename. Holy Mary.”

“Why do they call her Holy Mary?”

The black clad woman took off her sunglasses, revealing sky blue eyes. “Because whenever people meet me, there’s only one thing they do.” She flicked her wrists and a sizzling red blade shot out from her wrists, a red-hot wrist-mounted weapon.

“They pray.”

She was suddenly darting towards them, cartwheeling forward. Sam caught the flash of similar laser-edged weapons on her heels and immediately flung himself backwards, rolling awkwardly back to his feet. He swung his paw through the air –

CLANG!

In time to catch Mary’s blade against his rapier.

“Ah, the legendary Rosethorn,” she said in an unimpressed drawl. “Grants you incredible speed to the point where you appear to teleport, said to be able to pierce any armour. Can summon large vines anywhere.”

Sam curbed his surprise and gave her a cocky grin. “You a fan?”

“Oh yes. And I would kill to get a piece of your fur.”

Her heel suddenly pressed against his chest and pain exploded from his cut as her laser weapon jabbed into his gut. She kicked him back and he staggered back, clutching the wound which began closing already thanks to his baseline superpowers. Mary was merciless, however, and launched at him, slashing and kicking. Her weapons slashed through his skin, the smell of singed fur in the air. He grunted and snarled, feeling a forceful presence in his mind.

Realising what she was doing, he immediately erected his mental defences.

Mary’s face suddenly turned sour as stood backed. She seemed lost in thought for a moment before her expression changed to that of sheer confusion. “What the hell was that?”

“Just some random bullshit!” Sam grinned. “You know Mary, I find it fascinating. No matter what universe you’re in, you’re always a bitch.”

Bren’s arm suddenly wrapped around her neck and he pulled her back, making to slam her against the ground. Before he could finish the move, however, her legs wrapped quickly around his neck and she used the momentum to turn the move against him. Suddenly, Bren was on his back and she had him in a crippling headlock.

“I may not be able to read your mind, synth,” she said coolly. “But your friend communicates his loud and clear even through all the bullshit.”

“No better mental defence than senseless babbling,” Sam, growled.

“I concur,” Bren added calmly. His form suddenly turned into goo again, easily slipping out of Mary’s grip. The synth reformed behind her but she immediately snapped her legs backwards, tripping Bren just as Sam was charging forward. The two men collided with one another, falling into a tumble on top of one another.

“Men,” Mary scoffed, brushing aside a lock of blonde hair. She slipped her sunglasses back on and glanced towards the stunned soldiers and scientists around her. “What are you all doing just standing around? Sound the alarm! Initiate the self-destruct protocol!”

Bren grunted and rolled off Sam. “I’m guessing your confident enough in your abilities that you think you can escape this facility before it blows up and deal with us at the same time?”

“You two have been dealt with,” she answered coolly just as the entire laboratory became bathed in red light. “But you’re not what I’m after.” She tossed several black marbles at them, landing in a little circle around the two. “Enjoy dealing with the muscle freaks. I have other business to attend to.”

Sam realised what the marbles were. “Bren –”

The balls suddenly exploded into sharp, precise blasts, perfectly vertical bursts of force and fire cutting right through the floor. The ground gave way and both men were hurled down into the darkness… down into Laboratory 8.

Mary scoffed and turned towards the nearby console. With a flourish, she produced a portable drive and slipped it into the input socket. A timer sprang up on screen.

She smiled.

******

Alarms suddenly blared and Caleb glanced around in surprise. That could’ve have been triggered by him. He had gone to great lengths to remain undetected. At the moment, he wore a ridiculous flannel shirt and torn denim pants that stank of the guy who he had pilfered it off. As a rhino, he fit the attire perfectly and he strode through the laboratory with ease. The fight topside had ended in his favour, naturally, but now came the hard part.

Finding Lumberjack.

But this lab… it was something else entirely.

“What were they doing here…?” he muttered softly.

“Evacuate! Evacuate!” came the orders from the earpiece he had pilfered. “This is not a drill! Get the hell out of here, people!”

“Belay that order.”

The deep, rumbling growl that was almost inaudible made Caleb pause.

The Lumberjack.

“I’m deploying Buzzsaw_. Everyone to the launch pad. Now.”_

Caleb let out a derisive snort. Now things got much easier. With all the big, burly men running about, it was easy to follow them to this so called ‘Buzzsaw’. It was curious how everyone was male and huge, ripped and hairy. Even humans who didn’t normally grow beyond seven feet in most instances averaged at least that. He wondered if Lumberjack was only picking certain kind of henchmen and then likewise wondered if there was some sort of employment agency for such a thing.

“I wonder if I could get some henchmen…” he wondered aloud.

A loud laugh came from beside him as a bull built like one of the lumberjacks but wearing a lab coat came marching beside him. Like the others, he barely wore anything beneath his coat which was buttoned up just beneath the crest of his pectorals to give some semblance of dignity. It still showed of his incredibly hairy chest and with the sleeves rolled up, his similarly hairy arms were on display.

“Don’t bet on it kid. Only the best, most ruthless and rich can get henchmen. Or those that have superpowers.” He held out a massive hand as they bolted down the pristine white hallways. Despite how wide the path was, it wasn’t big enough to fit them both and the bull was running just a little behind him. “Gavin by the way. You?”

“Cameron,” Caleb responded, shaking the big hand. “I’m kind of new. Mostly doing stuff on the surface. Then those assholes came down and my boss told me to get down here.”

He was taking a stab in the dark but he was glad it worked. Gavin laughed and nodded. “Yeah, I get ya. You’re a grunt. Come on, the boss will need you down at the Buzzsaw.”

He resisted the urge to ask exactly what the Buzzsaw was and just followed Gavin as they headed down the winding hallways. Other lumberjacks were rushing alongside them and within moments, they were crammed together, enormous bodies squashed against one another and the scent of manly musk filling his nostrils. Caleb groaned as the stimulation became a little overpowering and blood began rushing towards his crotch.

Then he felt something warm push up against his rump and glanced over his shoulder. There was a huge alligator there sporting a thick, full beard.

“Sorry man,” grunted the gator. “You know how it is with us.”

“Uhm… yeah…” he answered, trying not to sound too puzzled.

All the henchmen suddenly began pushing themselves against the walls, making way for someone. Caleb was shoved against the wall by others and he craned his neck to see exactly who they were making way for. His eyes widened at the sight of the slim, female striding down the hallway in the opposite direction, cutting through the wall of muscle like a scalpel. She strode with confidence and for some reason, her long, blonde hair billowed out behind her like there was wind blowing despite being underground.

“Whoa…” he whispered.

“Holy Mary…” one of the henchmen whispered softly. “Not sure why the boss lets her stride around here like she owns the place. I could break her like a twig!”

“Don’t you think about it,” another man hissed. “She’s one of the deadliest assassins in the world! Plus, I hear she’s got like… divine powers or something. She’s never failed a mission before.”

Caleb kept his muzzle clamped shut. Bren was right. Lumberjack was working with someone other than Foreman and Courier. Based on their updated dossiers, those three lugs just hired men these days and didn’t work with women for some reason. Now that Holy Mary was here… he wondered if they were simply branching out or someone else was pulling the strings, someone who wasn’t so sexist.

Once Holy Mary passed them, all the big burly men around them breathed easier and continued to file down the hallway. Caleb quickly checked his timer and grunted. He had ten minutes left. It would have to be enough to find Lumberjack and subdue him.

Thankfully, it didn’t take much longer to get into what could only be the Buzzsaw. They stepped out of some sort of large, dark hanger, leaving behind the pristine white of the laboratory behind them. The vast expanse of the hanger was only partially illuminated by dozens of spotlights and that fell down onto some sort of vaguely circular shape; the shape that they were all filing into. He couldn’t see the entirety of the vehicle but he knew it was huge.

Once inside, there were soldiers dressed in fluorescent vests instructing everyone to take their seats. It was like going into a commercial plane. Rows upon rows of seats built especially for the enormous bulks of Lumberjack’s men stretched out in a vaguely circular format, a little like a circular auditorium. In all the rush, Caleb managed to slip past the crowd, heading towards a door marked with the words ‘Bridge’.

“We’re preparing to launch!” barked Lumberjack. “Everyone get in your seats. The moment this baby gets running, we’re going to have every super on us and the military scrambling everyone they can.”

That sealed it.

Caleb had to make sure Buzzsaw didn’t get off the ground.

He hurried past the door and headed quickly up a flight of stairs. It was just a short run to the top. Two big, burly guards, both bears saw him. They were dressed just like lumberjacks and even had a pair of vibro-blade axes over their shoulders.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” grunted one of them. “Get back downstairs and strap yourself in!”

“Wait,” grunted the other guy. “Look at him. He’s not one of us.”

Caleb retained his cool. “Of course I am! Look! I’m bigger than you two!” For emphasis, he flexed his arm. He wasn’t really bigger than them. If anything, they were the biggest specimens of bears he had ever seen. But he figured a degree of machoism would convince them he was just another thick-headed, muscle-brained thug. “Lumberjack called for me.”

“No he didn’t,” growled the suspicious bear. “If you’re one of us, you’d have some chest hair. At least a beard! He’s an impostor!”

“I shaved, okay?”

“None of us shaves!”

Caleb growled. “Well fuck.”

Discarding all pretence, he tore off his plain shirt and hurled it at the two. It slapped into the closest guard’s face and he managed to close the distance between them in just a second. His mighty fist slammed into the man’s gut. Though he could feel the bear’s breath rushing out of his lungs, it still felt like he was punching a brick wall. Stunned, the bear gagged and took a step back. Caleb seized his shoulder and kicked him right into the other guard. With both of them down, he launched himself on them and slammed his fists right into their skulls, knocking them out.

With the guards out cold, he straightened and snatched one of their passes.

“I’ll take that.”

As he stood, his black auto-fibre clothing snapped around his form again, giving him his black tank top once more. He didn’t get a second on his feet before the entire vehicle began to shake. A strange sense of vertigo filled him like he was plummeting down a speeding elevator.

“Whoa! Shit!” he cried and stumbled back against the wall. “What the hell is going on!?”

******

Sam grimaced and rubbed the back of his head. “Ouch… that hurt.” His vision cleared and his eyes focused on Bren’s offered paw. He took it and was helped to his feet. It occurred to him that while everything was mostly dark, there was an eerie greenish glow coming in from somewhere.

“Where are we?” he asked.

“Somewhere Holy Mary wanted us to be,” Bren answered. “And it isn’t good.” The tiger nodded behind Sam.

Turning, Sam’s eyes widened as he took in the scene in front of him. Hundreds, if not thousands of large, glass tubes filled a vast expanse in front of them. Each tube was filled with florescent green liquid and hooked up to various pieces of equipment. Within each tube was a single man, each of differing builds and not at all like the henchmen that Lumberjack had milling about. All of them had a breathing apparatus around their nose and mouths, a tube actually pushed down their throats no doubt to help feed them. Other tubes were pushed into their bodies, no doubt keeping their nourished though the ones attached to their nipples and balls were questionable. A large tube was wrapped around their members almost like a milking machine and another was shoved into their rear.

“What I wouldn’t give for some omniscience right now…” Sam muttered. He flicked his wrist, summoning Rosethorn once more. “Let’s find a way out of here.”

“One moment,” Bren said, approaching one of the consoles. “I want to figure out what’s going on here.” He began tapping on the console. “Damn, password locked…”

“If this were a videogame, this’d be where the hacking tutorial would pop up.”

Bren ignored him and contacted Shark Tamer. “Hey Al, I’ve got a console here. We’ve got guys in tubes floating in some sort of green gunk. I want to figure out what’s happening here. Think you can hack this?”

“Of course I can,” answered Alphonse over both their communicators. “Just plug me in and I’ll work my magic.”

Bren pulled out his communicator and pulled a thin cord from it, inserting it into a nearby jack on the console. Without his communicator, only Sam could hear the genius working away.

“Let’s see… Standard encryption… basic password. I swear if his password is ‘password’… Oh well, what do you know. It’s not. It’s ‘password1’.”

“So what are they doing to these people?” Sam asked.

“Let’s see… Well, these aren’t kidnap victims. All volunteers. Apparently, they’re blue collar workers who were recently laid off due to the government’s push to move away from the logging industry and cordoning off all forests by marking them as national heritage sites.”

“You would think that given their skills at operating heavy machinery and working with their hands, they’d have no trouble finding jobs elsewhere.”

“It’s not a matter of qualifications but rather the indignity of being fired due to what is essentially political pandering.” Alphonse was thoughtful for a moment. “Huh… most of the science isn’t on the consoles. All they have here is dosages based on weight, height and age. The machines are keeping them in suspended animation and will release some sort of serum into them once a command is given. It does not say what the serum is or what it does.”

“What’re the repercussions if we get them out of there?”

“Shock and possible death. Waking them up abruptly is dangerous. Wait…” Shake Tamer was silent for a moment. “Oh no…”

Sam lifted his eyebrows. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Hold onto something!”

The ground suddenly shook violently. Sam toppled backwards and caught himself on another console. Bren held on for dear life on the console in front of him. An incredible force suddenly pushed them both towards the ground and a loud, grinding rumble filled their ears.

“Um… fellas, I think I know what Lumberjack was building.”

Some sort of window began opening, rising slowly from where the panels touched the floor and letting the fading sunlight stream in. Clouds danced nearby and the treetops hung below. Sam staggered to his feet and hurried over to the enormous floor to ceiling window. As the light came in, he got an idea of the vast, circular expanse of the enormous chamber… and the huge buzz saw blades hanging on the edge.

“It’s a goddamn flying saucer…” Sam exclaimed, slapping his forehead. “The Lumberjack built an honest to god, flying saucer! Complete with huge blades on the rim! What’s he planning to do? Tear through all the forests in this thing!?”

“He can certainly do it…” Bren grumbled, rising to his feet. “The question is what these guys are for.” He absently tapped the glass.

The man in in the tube suddenly twitched. His eyes snapped open and the goo in the tube abruptly turned red.

“Initiating Lumber-Jacked Protocol,” rumbled a deep, mechanical, male voice.

“Heh. Lumber-Jacked. I get it.”

One by one, each of the tubes turned red. The men inside began to wake. A strange substance began pumping into their bodies, the tubes leading into their bodies filled with the same multi-coloured goo from the laboratory. Their bodies convulsed, their cheeks flushed. The device in their asses began to throb and twitch, sliding in and out of their rectums to provide sexual stimulation. Their dicks began to rise as their bodies became sexually charged. Eyes rolled beneath their eyelids, arms jerking backwards and toes curling in ecstasy. All at once, the men began shooting their load, cum streaming out of their dicks at a rate that was far from normal. The machines pumped out their seed, draining them of their genetic identity as the serum went to work.

Arms, regardless of size bulged into bodybuilder-sized meaty orbs. Biceps surged into bowling balls, veins having to grow and push up against taut skin to fuel the muscles with blood. Triceps gurgled and flexed, transforming into this horseshoe shaped lumps. Forearms throbbed one muscle at a time, growing into large, chunky hams decorated by a lattice of green veins. Bones stretched, extending arms and legs until each individual was at least seven feet tall. Fingers, toes, palms and feet all grew to fit the growing size of the men.

One pectoral at a time, each man grew armour like-chests that pushed up against their skin to the point where every band of muscle was clearly visible, their nipples growing in size until they were big, pink bullseyes on massive planes of muscle. Shoulders ballooned out, matching the enormous arms and nearly dwarfing the relatively small skulls on them. A wall of abdominal muscles blossomed out beneath the twin lumps of pectorals, eight perfectly cut plates protecting delicate organs.

Back muscles heaved and surged becoming a perfectly symmetrical wall of shredded muscle divided only by a spine that stretched and lengthened. Perfectly rounded, smackable asses tightened around what was effectively a mechanical dildo ploughing into their asses. Thighs twitched as all fat was drained away in place of juicy muscles. Calves blossomed into enormous slabs of meat, veins running up the length of their legs like vines.

Naturally, their cocks all surged with size and girth, oddly perfectly filling up the devices wrapped around them that continued to milk them for all they were worth. Their balls grew, becoming heavy and large, stretching their scrotums and ballooning out until they hung low and big between titanic legs. It didn’t matter what their size was before, each man now had a tremendous thirteen inch dick, throbbing with need and shooting more and more of their seed.

Thick hair began growing all over their bodies regardless of species and colour. Their arms became decorated by a thick fuzz, one mostly around their forearms. Legs likewise became decorated by a later of hair almost like a glistening aura around their mighty muscles, their feet being coated in the same dense hair as their forearms. Their chests were covered by an extra layer of chest hair, thick and dense like a forest. Beards of varying shapes and sizes crawled over their faces, some getting full beards, other goatees and everything in between.

At long last, their bodies gave one last final seizure and they shot their last load for the moment. The red goo they were submerged in began to drain away. Now fully awake, all the men looked disoriented and in the throes of afterglow. With the draining fluid, their feet touched the ground and their senses started to come back. They immediately took notice of the two non-lumberjacks in the room.

“Bren…” Sam began.

“I see them, Legion!” Bren shouted, backing away.

The newly made lumberjacks pulled the tubes off their bodies, everything from those that had sunk deep into their veins, the ones embedded in their asses and the ones clamped around their dicks. Each tube began to open, the glass components sliding into their bases. The stench of musk and cum was in the air. A loud hiss erupted from the console of each tube and a compartment opened. Inside was a plaid shirt, denim pants and various pieces of equipment.

“It’s an army…” Alphonse breathed softly. “It’s an army of would-be Lumberjacks! They have all of Lumberjack’s physical attributes barring species and race! They’ve been embedded with his intelligence as well! They’re basically like clones!”

Sam swung Rosethorn through the air, red rose petals dancing around him in a dizzying whirlwind. He heard a loud whirring noise and glanced over his shoulder. The blades of the flying saucer were powering up. The damage this thing could do…

“Fellas…” Shark Tamer began.

“I know! I know!” Sam shouted. “Bren, can you keep them back? I’m going to try and stop this thing!”

Bren’s body turned silver and his arms transformed into long, muscular tentacles. “Yeah. I got this.” He lashed out with one tentacle and it wrapped around one of the lumberjack’s axes. “Babies don’t get to play with toys.” He snatched the weapon back, his tentacle retracting.

The lumberjacks went without their clothing and just picked up their weapons, charging straight for Bren. The liquid tiger charged straight back at them, his form slipping and sliding away from them. One lumberjack brought a steel club crashing down on Bren but the tiger instantly slumped into a pool of silver. Confused, the lumberjack pulled his club away only for the entire pool to transform into an enormous fist and clock him right in the jaw. The fluid tiger reformed immediately a moment later launching himself at a lumberjack and using his slim build and agility to slip by the lumbering hulks.

“Okay, he’s got them,” Sam told himself. He spun his rapier in his paw until it was pointed straight down. “Rose, this is going to be fun…”

The wolf jammed the sword straight into the ground, channelling his strength through the weapon.

Outside, the enormous disc hovering over the ground was just starting to gain momentum. Then, enormous, black, thorny vines launched out of the forest below. They curled around the vehicle, particularly wrapping between the blades of the Buzzsaw and preventing them from moving. The thorns dug into the walls of the vehicle, keeping it in place.

Sam grinned to himself. “Up to you now Caleb…”

A shadow suddenly fell over him and a deer lumberjack grinned down at him, tapping his hand with a vicious looking hammer.

“Bren!” Sam shouted.

“Little busy here!”

Sam’s offered the deer a shaky smile. “So… I don’t suppose I can convince you to leave me alone if I promise you a life of eternal happiness when this is all done, can I?”

“Nope,” rumbled the lumberjack.

“Didn’t think so!”

The hammer came crashing down and Sam immediately dodged to the left, just barely avoiding getting crushed. He was glad he didn’t have a tail or it would have been crushed. The moment he pulled Rosethorn out of the ground, the vines began to weaken and the Buzzsaw’s blades began to gain ground.

There were just far too many lumberjacks for even Bren. They were pulling away from the synthetic tiger and surrounded Sam.

“Okay…” Sam told himself. “Fight the bad guys, stop the flying saucer. Easy enough.” He lifted his blade. “Well Rose, this is it. Bankai…” A shaky grin crossed his features at his little joke.

“FANG SMASH!”

His ears drooped. “Oh…”

SMASH!

******

Caleb burst into the bridge of the Buzzsaw. It was not what he was expecting as the bridge of a flying death machine. There was a feral bear skin rug on the floor, a couch, a working fireplace and even a whole weight set. A vast window showed the expanse of the Canadian wilderness in front of them. The couch was facing away from him.

“I was wondering when some hero would try and stop me,” came the deep, ominous rumble. It was like listening to thunder talk. A huge, brown paw lowered a glass filled with what looked like expensive brandy onto the table beside the couch.

The Lumberjack stood.

Given that he wasn’t in any way enhanced, the titanic bear was still very impressive. He stood at a tremendous 7’11’’ and was all muscle. Like his henchmen, he wore a red plaid shirt but Caleb knew it was really some sort of omni-res fabric. And just like his troops, the shirt’s top three buttons were split wide open to reveal his enormous, barrel chest covered in a thick layer of red chest hair. The sleeves were rolled up all the way to his deltoids allowing an unrestricted view of his huge arms and equally large forearms. His torso tapered perfectly towards his waist in an impressive ‘V’ shape, the shirt tucked into his belt. A pair of torn denim jeans covered his legs, his thick, muscular flesh showing between the torn seams. Large hiking boots were wrapped around his enormous feet. Caleb couldn’t take his eyes off the man’s package which was pressed obscenely against his jeans. To top it all off, the Lumberjack wore a single, red beanie, his rounded brown ears poking out through them.

“And I get some superhero wannabe. What are your powers kid?”

“No real powers on me,” Caleb grunted. “Just a real compulsion to do what’s right!”

“Is that so?” The Lumberjack reached down and plucked a large axe from just out of sight. “Was it right for the government to cause thousands of people to lose their jobs just because they grew a guilty conscience? Was it right for them to force people living in the wilderness to pack up and leave because they declared every forest a ‘national heritage site’?”

“Don’t give me that bullshit!” Caleb growled. “You’re not doing this out of some sense of justice! You just want the money, the notoriety and whatever fucked up excuse you’re telling your men to justify creating a fucking flying saucer!”

The massive bear chuckled softly. “Yeah, okay. You got me. I’m not doing this because I feel justified. The fact is…” He gestured out the window with a massive paw. “The Buzzsaw has another purpose. Once all this land is cleared of trees, it’ll be prime real estate. I’ve got a shit tonne of real estate agents just ready to pounce the moment I clear out this land. They know it’s me but the people buying the property don’t. I clear out the land and suddenly, I’ll be rolling in the cash!”

Caleb jerked his head back in surprise. “You’re kidding me, right? All this so you can get some prime real estate!? And who would want to buy property that was created by a supervillain!?”

Lumberjack threw his head back and let out a deep, chortle. “Supervillain landmarks are the latest rage! People scramble after heroes and villains and are eager to get a piece of the action even if it’s just a simple rock! Imagine how they’d feel once an entire goddamn community is built out of my work! Hell, I’m stimulating the American economy!”

“You’re bullshitting yourself.”

Well aware that he was running out of time, Caleb balled his fists and lowered his horn. “I’m taking you down now!”

He charged, letting out a trumpeting bellow. Despite his increased momentum, the Lumberjack was surprisingly fast and agile. The villain easily sidestepped Caleb and seized the back of his couch. With one hand, he lifted the couch off the ground and slammed it hard into Caleb’s back. The wolf-turned-rhino went crashing to the ground with a loud boom.

“Nothing but a kid,” the Lumberjack huffed, wielding his red vibro-blade axe. “Just give up boy. You’re no match for me.”

Caleb growled and hurled the couch, sending it crashing into the wall. “That’s what you think. I’ll stop you! Just you watch, I’ll – erk!” A strange sensation suddenly dug into his gut, like it had been emptied of all food and now he was starving. He instinctively clutched his stomach as it growled and undulated beneath his skin. “Oh no… nononono… Not now!”

Lumberjack watched in fascination as the big, burly rhino in front of him began to shrink. Thick grey and white fur began sprouting all over the leathery hide. Large brimming muscles reduced in size to compact, lean mounds against a firm but still strong, lupine body. Facial features began to twist and reshape, horns sinking into a lupine muzzle. Claws took the place of ivory nails and within moments, the towering rhinoceros that had been standing in front of him was reduced to a slightly smaller, panting, sweating wolf.

Even the scent in the air changed.

“Fuck…” Caleb grunted, staggering to his feet. The terrible sensation in his gut was gone but it was replaced by the fear of what he knew was coming next. He saw the Lumberjack’s pupils dilate and the massive supervillain drop his vibro-axe, a deep, feral growl rising from his throat. Squeezing his eyes shut, Caleb slowly slipped his tail between his legs. “Great. Just… great.”

With the serum wearing off, his body had to let go of all that testosterone, endorphins and other chemicals swirling around veins. Alphonse made it so that upon reversion, the recipient of the serum would secret all of them through his sweat glands. The result was that it mixed with natural musk and formed a rather powerful type of pheromones. While he was immune to it, anyone else, even supervillains were not so lucky.

The Lumberjack suddenly let out a tremendous growl and surged forward. Caleb let out a soft ‘eep’ before being pick up by the enormous bear and slammed right against the reinforced glass of the window. All inhibitions gone, the Lumberjack ran his tongue along Caleb’s neck, wildly thrusting his groin against Caleb’s, eyes shut and completely lost in the pheromones.

“Wh – What the…?” Caleb stammered, trying to push the big bear off him. The more he resisted, though, the more the Lumberjack wanted it, pressing his hairy chest against Caleb’s. No one had ever reacted this fast before. Even Lance had to be exposed to it for a full fifteen minutes before he succumbed and by then, the effects of the regression had worn off and Caleb could inject himself with another serum to stop it entirely.

He knew that the Lumberjack wasn’t a super so it should work a little faster, maybe at the ten minute mark, but this… this was unprecedented!

WHAM

Caleb jerked his head, glancing over his shoulder at the glass. A big, black, thorny vine was pressed right up the glass. Arching his neck, he could see that the monster vines were rising out of the ground and was holding the Buzzsaw down. He instantly thought of Sam and that began to kill his boner. But feeling he Lumberjack’s hot crotch pressing up against his own quickly nullified that and let out a lusty moan as the Lumberjack’s long, slobbery tongue bathed his cheek.

The Lumberjack was valiantly trying to fight the effects of the serum as much as Caleb but it was a losing battle. The bulky bear pulled his head away, his brows angled down in a look of concentration and a snarl on his features.

“What…” He lunged forward, mashing lips with Caleb, their tongue dancing wildly. Again, he pulled away. “What have you…Hmmmmrfm!” Another kiss and this time the huge bear’s eyelids fluttered, clearly enjoying the physical contact. Mustering all his will, the bear pulled away and slammed Caleb against the window again, enough to cause Caleb’s head to spin. His huge paw went down to Caleb’s ass, squeezing the tight bubble butt.

“… done to me!?” demanded the supervillain. “What the fuck have you done!?”

As he said this, he pushed back on Caleb’s ass, pressing the wolf’s crotch against his own. His lewd thrusts ground their dicks together and both men could feel their hard members barely contained by their clothes begging to be with one another.

“I… It’s my serum!” Caleb pleaded. “Every time I revert back I make everyone around me horny! It usually doesn’t… oooooh!” The Lumberjack wrapped his other large arm around Caleb’s shoulders, holding him against his hairy chest. He bit down on Caleb’s shoulder, fangs sinking into the black fabric of his bio-armour and tearing it away. The black goo sensed Caleb’s need not to be clothed and quickly receded into his pants.

The Lumberjack pulled them away from the window, his knees weakening and sending them crashing to the ground. With the massive bear on top, the Lumberjack said, “You fucking homo…”

“You’re enjoying this too,’ Caleb snarled.

“It’s…” The Lumberjack suddenly buried his muzzle between Caleb’s firm pectorals, running his tongue along the strong cleft. He pulled to the right, a desperate attempt to push himself away from the wolf’s body but only proceeded to shove his nose right into Caleb’s armpit where the scent and pheromones were the strongest. “… the serum… Ooooooh fuck…”

Eyes fluttered the Lumberjack suddenly straightened, sitting up. He grabbed the back of Caleb’s head and shoved the wolf’s nose into the thick bush that was his chest hair. In that instant, the Lumberjack flexed his mighty pectorals. The strong, manly scent that came off him pushed all of the smaller wolf’s buttons and feeling those might muscles so close…

“L – L – Lumberjack…” he pleaded, pulling his nose again. “We – we have to fight this. We… I have a boyfriend…”

“And I haven’t had a decent lay in what feels like fuckin’ years,” growled the bear, thrusting one more. “Fuck! I want to stick my dick in you! Take off your pants, hero!”

“Lumberjack!”

The bear suddenly leaned down, his muzzle directly hovering dangerously close to Caleb’s ear, fangs read to tear into the delicate flesh at a moment’s notice. Caleb squeezed his eyes shut.

“Call me Paul.”

Then that long tongue slipped into his ear and Caleb melted. He threw aside all resistances and slumped onto the floor, exposing his pants. Lumberjack – Paul – licked his lips, panting heavily and laughing a little at the same time. His huge paws seized Caleb’s pants and immediately worked on tearing them down. Caleb’s impressive foot long canine dick slapped against Paul’s shirt. Suddenly completely naked, Caleb pushed his lips against the Lumberjack’s, paw snapping out and holding the supervillain’s head. He felt the fabric of the villain’s beanie under his fingers and he immediately tossed it aside just as Paul threw his pants halfway across the room.

Even as alarms began blaring all around them, the two men continued with their passions. Caleb tore his lips away from Paul’s and whispered a plea in his ear. Paul grinned and leaned to the side a little, revealing his right bicep. He flexed.

Rrrrip!

And the sleeved of his omni-res shirt shredded to bits. Caleb instantly pounced, lathering the enormous mound of veiny meat with kisses, desperate to feel the power coursing through those veins against his tongue. His fangs found purchase against the remnants of Paul’s shirt. Like a puppy playing tug of war, he gripped it and began tugging at it, begging for the bigger man to remove it.

Paul was only too keen to oblige and tossed it aside, revealing his sculpted torso and his perfectly shaped lats. Caleb couldn’t help but run his paws down the man’s side, the curves of the bear’s back so delectable and radiating power. He ran his fingers along Paul’s perfect eight pack, shivering with every block he passed like he was strumming a guitar.

Paul’s need grew so much that his cock began to truly strain his pants. The bear’s eyes rolled into the back of his eyes and he let out a rising moan. There was a moment of pain that flashed on his expression.

Rrrrip!

His cock burst free of the denim, shooting a blast of warm precum all over Caleb’s bare chest.

“Ooh god…” Paul moaned. “That’s… That’s never happened… ack!”

His entire body began to shudder and twist. Already enormous muscles surged with new strength, veins pulsing beneath his skin with an eerie glow. The colour of the light constantly changed colour with every pulse. Each throb caused his form to bulge and grow. Already watermelon-sized biceps bulked into huge orbs bigger than any normal man’s head. His neck thickened, back rising to the point where it was impossible tell where his neck began. An already mountainous chest rose with each breath, the musk given off by his thick hairs growing stronger and stronger.

“What’s happening to me!?” Paul cried, lifting his paws to eyelevel. They grew into enormous, shovels, capable of crushing a man’s head between his fingers. He gnashed his fangs together, his features growing bigger, skull expanding to fit his new, increased size.

“H – h – holy shit…” Caleb stammered. His eyes were fixated on Paul’s dick which outgrew his own, rising to an ass-splitting fourteen inches. The enormous ursine dick was pouring precum like a faucet, soaking into Caleb’s fur. If he wasn’t used to Lance’s huge dicks, he would’ve been scared.

Paul threw his head back, letting out a loud, feral roar. His saliva splashed everywhere, eyes wide and primal. “Must… fuck!”

He immediately seized Caleb’s legs and lifted them into the air.

“W – Whoa! Slow down!”

Some part of Paul must’ve heard him because despite both of their burning needs, Paul still managed to push the head of his dick slowly into Caleb’s ass. All the precum he was producing provided ample lubrication. As his thighs and calves experienced the throbbing growth, shedding the last bits of clothing from his body, he thrust gently and passionately into Caleb. Both men let out moans as the huge dick entered Caleb’s ass and deep pants every time Paul pulled out.

Caleb, lost in lust, held onto Paul’s shoulders for dear life, preparing himself for the jackhammering that he knew would come once the bear entered him fully. Inch after inch entered him, the warmth radiating from the contact filling his entire body and causing his doggy dick to spill his own ocean’s worth of precum. Paul wrapped his mighty arms around Caleb’s waist and suddenly stood. The shapeshifting wolf’s legs curled around the mighty bear’s form, gravity helping him get speared on the ursine’s huge dick.

There was a thunderous crash somewhere but both of them just ignored it entirely. The Buzzsaw shook violently from side to side causing Paul’s dick to shake inside of him, stimulating every bone in his body. Caleb let out a loud whimper, begging for more. Paul silenced him, pressing their lips together. The need to have more of the huge bear inside of him was great and he willingly accepted the long tongue pushing into his own muzzle.

At long last, Paul’s massive prick hilted inside of him and the supervillain gave him one last, slobber kiss before pulling away. They were both panting, sweat rolling off their brows and soaking their fur.

“You ready, kid?” the bear grunted.

“Bring it on.”

Paul bit his lower lip and thrust hard into Caleb’s ass.

“Fuck yes!” roared the wolf. “More! Harder! Come on!”

Paul was all too happy to oblige, thrusting hard and fast into the wolf, loud, deep grunts rising from his chest and balls slapping happily against Caleb’s ass. Each thrust caused him to stagger back until his back was pressed up against a hard wall. Their pleasure continued to mount, bodies hot with passion. Caleb bit down on Paul’s shoulder, canine instincts kicking in as he held on for all he was worth. Paul at the same time lathered his neck with kisses and ran his tongue all over Caleb’s fur, sending shivers down the wolf’s spine.

BOOM!

The crash sounded all too close but Caleb couldn’t care. He could barely see. Everything was a blur of passion and lust and Paul wasn’t showing any signs of stopping.

BOOM!

That crash was too close and both men stopped for a moment. There was a lump in the middle of the room, the metal that made up the ground bent and twisted like a small volcano was starting to rise out in the middle of the room.

BOOM!

The lump grew bigger.

BOOM!

The huge indentation of a fist could be clearly seen in the lump.

BOOM!

Metal creaked and bent as that fist came shooting out of the ground, gripping the sides of the incision. Caleb’s eyes widened as a second paw followed the first, ripping the floor wide open. Then a huge hulk of a wolf came shooting out of the hole in the ground, landing on the bear skin rug.

“FANG SMASH!” Lance roared.

“Oh shit…” Paul grunted.

“Hang on…” Caleb soothed.

Lance sniffed the air and his already dilated eyes turned towards the two. “Mate…” he growled.

“My ass is going to be so sore tomorrow…” Caleb whimpered.

“What’s going on?” Paul demanded. “Pup…?”

Lance suddenly tore off his elastic shorts, revealing his plump sheath. As the pheromones in the air began to kick in, his twin mutant, doggy dicks began rising out from their hiding spot. Paul’s eyes widened at the sight of the huge sixteen inch, twin members. He pushed himself as far back to the wall as possible but there was no escape. Then he felt one of those dicks press up against his own, trying to push itself into Caleb’s ass.

The huge monster of a wolf was merciless and thrust hard, forcing Paul to thrust as well. The feeling of another cock against his own triggered something deep inside of him and before long, Paul was thrusting as well. He could feel Lance’s other cock slapped against Caleb’s flank, spraying him with precum, bathing them all in the musky fluids. All three men collapsed to the ground, Lance’s four massive arms digging into the metal floor and keeping them pinned in place even as the Buzzsaw began to teeter from side the side.

They panted hard, thrusting deep into the comparatively smaller wolf between them, two huge muscle men driven by primal lust and the need to mate. Whether he realised it or not, the serum pumping through Paul’s body began to affect him as well.

He had seen the effect it had on his troops. Before, he had a ragtag assortment of disenfranchised men and women, all blue collar workers in the logging industry that had lost their jobs with the recent government reforms. But now, he just had men. Only men. He didn’t know where the women went but he was sure no one left. It all started with that damned machine, that one in the base. Guys went in, some sort of goo that constantly shifted colour was pumped into their veins and then they transformed into big, hulking men with hairy chests and the same skillset as Paul though definitely not as refined.

And they were all gay.

He wasn’t sure how the serum got into his veins but he recognised the multi-coloured glow and could feel it gnawing at his mind, changing his thoughts, changing him. Fear struck his heart as he realised that it was making him like this man-on-man action. But it wasn’t bad. Why should he be afraid? He was always gay, right? It’s why he teamed up with such sexy hot studs like Foreman and Courier. And ploughing this cute puppy and the muscle mutant? Fuck, it was a dream come true!

He couldn’t wait to see what other shapes the pup could take so he could fuck those too.

He wanted to fuck the four-armed wolf too.

And he wanted to get fucked.

Wanted to feel a thick, pulsing dick inside of him, to cream him and flood him with hot, man-milk.

He wanted to be gay.

He was gay.

With a trumpeting roar, Paul – the Lumberjack – shot his seed deep into Caleb. Whether he realised it or not, bits and pieces of what he had been, the man he had been, came shooting out with him. The substance that came spewing out of his massive dick was white just like cum but it was thicker and stickier. It was sadly drowned out by Lance’s own orgasm, the flood of true cum washing into Caleb, mixing with Paul’s essence and diluting the substance. Caleb let out a howl followed by Lance as both wolves lost their load.

Paul eagerly snapped his lips as jets of hot white cum came blasted at his muzzle, eager to catch as much of the wolf’s tasty spunk as he could. But he could barely see. As shot after shot blasted out of his cock, he drifted further and further into unconsciousness. Eventually, his entire body slumped, eyes shut even as his thighs continued to buck and twitch.

For his part, Caleb slumped onto the big bear’s body, a loud squish coming from the cum-soaked chest hair that acted as his cushion. Exhausted, he still managed to wearily glance over his shoulder at Lance who was regaining his sensez.

“Fuck man…” he mumbled. “You needed to blow, huh?”

Lance gave him a shaky smile. “I ran for like… four miles before hitting the lumberyard. Then… I don’t really remember what happened after that…” He glanced past Caleb. “Did we just fuck the Lumberjack?”

“Actually… you double-stuffed me. But… yeah. I changed back, filled the whole room with my musk and… well…” He gave Lance a cheeky grin. “I got distracted.”

“Mission accomplished though, right?”

“Yeah. Mission accomplished.”

******

Holy Mary strode calmly out of the lumberyard. Not too far away, the Buzzsaw was slowly being forced to descend. It hadn’t gotten far thanks to the thick, black vines that held it in place. That didn’t really matter, after all. That was not the purpose of teaming up with Lumberjack or using his troops.

The real reason she currently held in a vial.

She held up the little glass tube to eyelevel. Suspended in a clear goo was a single, elliptical stone no bigger than her fingernail. It was pure white, almost like a pearl but infinitely more valuable. Her boss would be very pleased indeed.

But she still had a few things to take care of.

The assassin reached into her pocket for her phone. It was already pre-loaded into a specific application, one that displayed two buttons, one blue and the other red. She pressed the blue and a progress bar appeared denoting that it would take a minute to complete. More than enough time for her to reach the tree line. A soft ding indicated that all the data pertaining to the extraction process was now complete.

Turning over her shoulder, she pressed the red button.

BOOM!

… and Lumberjack’s entire facility went up in an enormous mushroom cloud, wiping all traces of the true purpose behind the exercise from the face of the Earth.

That done, cleared the app from her phone and pressed it to her ear.

“It’s done.”

“And you have the jewel?”

She smiled at she regarded the little gem in the vial. “I’m looking at it now.”

“Excellent. I knew you wouldn’t fail me. Bring it back.”

Wind whipped past her and her private transport dropped its cloaking field. The air shimmered above her to reveal a black VTOL transport. A rope ladder unfurled from the side and she gripped it.

“I’m on my way.”

******

“So… exactly what happened back there?”

Alphonse Newman, AKA Shark Tamer, spun in his seat, the aquatic scientist looking at them with a rather concerned look. The hunched shark gave Caleb another look over as the wolf’s legs dangled off the edge of the examination table.

“Well…” the wolf began. “Lumberjack had some sort of flying death machine that we infiltrated. Sam and Bren apparently found a whole army of his guys in the bottom most floor. I think he was hoping to drop it on the ground if he ever needed to invade some place or something. Before it could get too far, Sam used Rosethorn to hold the thing in place. I managed to get to Lumberjack but then I reverted back and… I got distracted. Lance joined us a little after that.”

“Yes… Sam is recovering from using so much of his power all at once,” Alphonse said. “He’ll be out for another day or so.”

“Summoning huge thorny vines that’ll hold a half-mile flying saucer with bladed edges and fighting dozens of mutant guys will do that to you.” Caleb frowned. “What’ll happen to those guys, by the way? I mean… do they have superpowers? Are they real mutants like Lance or…?”

“We’re still investigating,” said the scientist, shuffling back to his desk in the medical examination room. “It doesn’t seem like they had any adverse effects. They’re perfectly healthy even though their bodies have undergone some rapid changes. Genetically, they are still sound though there does seem to be a few rewrites around their testosterone levels and physical stature. For all intents and purposes, it seems that they were always built like that.”

Caleb shook his head. “So it’s like a supersoldier program them.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” answered Shark Tamer cautiously. He tapped his desk worriedly. “One would think that after breeding a supersoldier, you’d want them to reproduce but all of these men are inherently gay.”

“Yeah, I got that,” Caleb chuckled. “I swear, when we were rushing onto the Buzzsaw, I felt like a dozen hard dicks pressing up against me.”

“You don’t understand, Caleb.” Alphonse fixed him with a grave stare. “They are completely and utterly homosexual now. Despite the fact that some of them may have wives, girlfriends or children, they are now completely gay. There’s no clear psychological trauma except for this one factor. They are still them but when asked about their families most of them will just answer that they ‘just don’t feel that way about them anymore’. It’s like that one part of their lives has just… been dismissed.”

The scientist turned, biting a finger gently a clear sign that he was worrying over something. “It’s the same with Lumberjack – erm… Paul.”

“How is the big guy?” Caleb asked.

“He’s been asking for you but otherwise he’s fine.”

“Will he… Uh…”

“The politicians will decide what to do with him but he is inherently still very dangerous. Keen intelligence, peak physical condition and a master manipulator and gang leader…” Shark Tamer shook his head. “I honestly don’t know what’ll happen, Caleb. We don’t execute supervillains even those without any superpowers for the simple reason that people think a quick death is too merciful for anyone that has caused so much suffering.”

The shark gave Caleb a grin. “But at the very least, Paul has been at large for five years now. No superhero or government agency has ever been able to capture him so you’ve done good today. Well done.”

“Thanks Al.” Caleb hopped off the bench. “Can I go now?”

“Clean bill of health. Might want to stop by Lance’s place and maybe speak with Bren as well.”

“And Sam?”

“He should be awake.”

“Thanks, Al.”

Caleb turned and left the little examination room reserved especially for the members of Cerberus. There were four such rooms, one for each member of the team in the medical wing of the Facility. Located deep within a mountain range in Utah, the Facility was the base of operations for the black ops organisation that he belonged to, known only as AEGIS or the Allied Espionage Global Intervention Specialists.

AEGIS was responsible for the isolation of supernatural and extraterrestrial threats that would come to Earth and also trying to stop any supervillains that may be running around. Most superheroes actually worked with AEGIS or some superhero groups even owed their founding to AEGIS. He knew that the Defenders in New York were an AEGIS initiative. With AEGIS as a global presence as well, they had influence all over the world.

Though admittedly, not everything AEGIS did was strictly… humane.

Caleb’s existence as a Gene Warrior, for instance, wasn’t meant to get out into the public. Genetic experimentation and transformations were something that was strictly in the realm of supervillains. Apparently, had Shark Tamer not been recruited by AEGIS early on, the brilliant geneticists would have been a villain in his own right. It was how he was caught, in fact, trying to coax his assistants into partaking in experiments.

For Caleb, he was a soldier who was caught in crossfire in some war he couldn’t remember. AEGIS had apparently flagged him down for recruitment until he was critically injured in a battle. He was brought to AEGIS and made into a Gene Warrior but at the price of his memories. He didn’t know who he was and he only got his name from the dog tag that he had been found with. AEGIS wiped his record from the books and refused to divulge that information considering his new employment. It was something everyone under AEGIS had to be subjected to.

Even Lance who had a family back at West California Island. They all thought he was missing after a recent spat with his dad, the esteemed Feral Steel of the Elemental Alliance.

Caleb turned and headed to the adjacent medical room. The large, blue doors hissed open and inside was Sam, propped up in his seat, dressed in a white patient’s gown with his chain wings propped up in the air by straps.

“Hey bud, how’re you doing?” he asked.

“Exhausted,” Sam responded with a shaky smile. “Holding down the Buzzsaw took more out of me that I thought. Superpowers or no, everyone has their limits.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I nearly broke mine…”

“If you worked out more, maybe you could’ve held on for a little longer.” For emphasis, Caleb flexed his biceps.

“I have no idea if that’s you trying to tease me or hit on me.”

“Little bit of both.” Caleb winked at him. “In your shoes, I would have so pulled down my pants and let those huge lumberjacks fuck me until they were too tired to get up.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Of course you would.” He glanced off into the distance. To the right wall of every one of the medical rooms was a viewing window that showed a lush, green forest. It wasn’t really a forest though, just a recording. Apparently, soothing imagery helped patients. “Glad you subdued Lumberjack. Kind of worried what it means now that he’s officially gay…”

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

“From what I’ve heard, Paul Booyan is now completely and utterly homosexual.”

“You mean he wasn’t already? I mean big hairy guy like that, obsessed with working out and perfecting his body? How couldn’t he be gay?” Caleb was joking, of course, and Sam knew it. His grin faded. “You don’t think he’s going to try robbing only gay-friendly banks now, do you?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Sam answered, shaking his head. “I just get this horrible feeling that this was just the beginning.” He turned his gaze towards Caleb. “Did you hear about Holy Mary?”

“You mean the chick that handed both you and Bren your asses?” he responded with a smirk. “Yeah. I heard.” That smirk faded. “Paul was working with someone. But from what I read from the reports, Mary was just some sort of go-between. He didn’t know who he was actually dealing with and he can’t remember the specifics of exactly what happened. I sort of feel that his transformation in the end was sort of a way to wipe his memory. Turn him into little more than a grunt like those guys he made.”

Sam sighed and glanced off into the distance again. “I really hate not knowing… But I guess that’s part of life, isn’t it?” He turned to Caleb with a pensive smile. “Existence would be boring otherwise if we knew exactly what was around the corner, right?”

“I guess.” He nodded. “Get some rest bud. “I’m sure Director Sanchez will want a word with us when you’re better.”

“Shoot me now,” Sam grumbled. “I hate getting debriefed by Old Eyepatch.” He rubbed the back of his head neck again. “I especially hate his physical training sessions that he calls ‘disciplinary training’. How does a hyena get that big anyway!?”

“He was born back in the day when superheroes were allowed to get that big,” Caleb snickered.

“He’s not a super!”

“Doesn’t keep people from trying, right?” He gave Sam one last nod. “See ya later, bud.”

The lupine Gene Warrior left Sam to his rest and quickly headed through the blue-lit hallways of the Facility. He passed various other AEGIS agents, all dressed in the same blue uniform he sported complete with hexagonal mesh pattern. They greeted him by name and he nodded back in return.

It wasn’t hard to find Lance. Feral Fang really only stayed in two places in the Facility, his room or the gym. The enormous open gymnasium was filled with all sorts of workout equipment built for average non-powered individuals like Caleb, mutants like Lance and supers like Sam. Lance was currently hefting two huge bench press bars, each worth two tonnes.

“Need a spotter?” Caleb joked.

“Think you can lift four tonnes?” Lance grunted, sweat rolling off his brow.

“Let me turn into a gorilla or bull and no sweat.”

Lance grunted and racked the weights. He sat up with a loud, ‘Fuck’. He wiped his neck and back, Caleb unable to take his eyes off those glistening muscles. The hulking mutant glanced over his shoulder at his mate. “So… you had the Lumberjack fuck you.”

Caleb grimaced. “Yeah… I got…”

“Distracted. I know.” Lance shut his eyes and let it out slowly. “Look man, I love you. But you can’t just go around offering your ass to everyone.”

“I don’t offer. It’s just joking. You know me. I was in the military. We throw around bullshit like that all time but don’t mean anything about it.”

“Right but how often has a mission ended with you being fucked or you fucking someone else?”

Caleb lifted his paws. “Hey, I’ve stopped fucking the guys or girls that want it because of my reversions. They get debilitated by the aftereffects of my serums, that makes it easier to strap a pair of cuffs on them and haul their ass off to jail.”

“And what about the other guys?”

“You know I’m weaker right after a transformation…”

“Right, but you could’ve put up more of a fight.”

“The guy could’ve caved my head in! And besides, I recall you were hard as hell as well!”

“I was feral!”

“No, after. When we got Paul to bring down the Buzzsaw. You were staring at his ass. Then there was the fact that you were more than willing to fuck again three times after that. You were the one that made the excuse you hadn’t cum out of your second dick and then you wanted to cum out of both because that’s felt the best and then the third time was just for the hell of it!”

Lance glanced away and grumbled. Sighing, Caleb sat down on the big mutant’s lap since there was no room to sit down on the bench.

“Look, we’re not an ordinary couple. You’re a mutant and I’m… Well, I’m a soldier that turns into all sorts of other muscle furs. There’s nothing normal about us so I don’t see why we need to keep pretending we’re in a normal relationship.”

“So what do you suggest then?”

Caleb shrugged absently. “I’ll be honest, I want to fuck and be fucked. Part of being a Gene Warrior, I guess. I want to spread my genes everywhere. But I still love you. And to be honest, Paul is sexy as fuck.” He nudged Lance’s ribs with his elbow. “Come on. Admit it. He was hot. All those muscles, throbbing dick, veins, hairy chest and –”

“Okay okay!” Lance laughed, giving him a light shove. “Don’t make me hard. I’m not wearing my normal shorts.”

Caleb grinned and rested his head against Lance’s mighty chest. “Paul may be a bad guy but I get the feeling we’ll be spending a lot of time with him now. I’m going to go see him now but I have a feeling we can convince him to join our side.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “What? You’re going to change, wait just before three hours are up, interrogate him and when he refuses, you revert back, your pheromones fill up his little cell and you two fuck until he’s willing to join us?”

“Women can use sex as a weapon. So can I.”

Lance wrapped a big arm around his shoulders and laughed. “Alright, babe. If you can brainwash the career criminal with your dick, go for it. Sanchez might not mind.”

“Thanks babe.”

He gave Lance a quick kiss on the cheek and leapt off his lap. “I’m going to go see him now. Apparently, he’s been asking for me. Got to go see what he wants.”

“Be careful.”

Caleb grinned at his boyfriend and winked. “When aren’t I?”

With a swish in his tail, Caleb strode out of the gym and down several levels, taking an express elevator deep into the Facility’s prison section. After some identity checks and various clearance checks, he was allowed into the vast, dark prison beneath the Facility. Hundreds of cells lined the walls, each of them outfitted with special super-inhibiting devices. Really, the Facility was only built as a staging area for prisoners that were captured by AEGIS. Eventually, they would be shipped off into other more specialised prisons. Given the number of people they had captured as part of the Lumberjack raid, however, the cells were packed.

Caleb reached the cell of Paul Booyan AKA Lumberjack.

The bear was lifting himself up on a pole embedded into the ceiling, his enormous back muscles bunching and stretching with effort. Caleb had to fight off his erection as he pushed the button beside the door, a loud buzz heralding his arrival.

Paul dropped to the ground with a huff. He was only wearing the blue jumpsuit of an AEGIS prisoner but it’s upper half was tied around his waist, exposing his torso. He wasn’t wearing any shoes either. No shoe size would fit him anymore. At least conventional ones.

Paul turned and his brown eyes were cold, calculating as he saw Caleb. “Was wondering when you’d come down.”

“I was busy,” Caleb answered calmly. “What did you want?”

The Lumberjack stepped forward, coming up to the particle shielding that kept him from escaping his cell. He rose to an enormous nine feet tall, still slightly smaller than Lance but not by much. “I’ve told your doctors and that asshole, Lewis Sanchez, that I don’t remember fuck all about what made me this or what was done down there. As far as I know, I was just going to tear up the forests for some real estate.”

It was odd but Caleb believed him. “You seem mad about that.”

“Because it’s what all these idiots believe!” Paul shouted, waving absently around him. His knuckles brushed against the particle shield, a little spark coming from the contact and forcing him to retreat a step. “Doesn’t that sound weird to you? The big boss. Me. Thinking exactly the same as what everyone else here knows and believes.”

Caleb’s brow furrowed. “In my career, I’ve never known a supervillain to be entirely honest with his henchmen. It just isn’t done.”

“Exactly! I’ve been… I don’t know… Indoctrinated.” Paul spun around and stomped angrily in his cell that seemed too small for him. “My memories have been seriously fucked up! I can’t remember how or why I changed all these guys to be like me! All I remember is that bitch, Holy Mary, appearing one day and telling me that she could help me! Hell, my feelings have been changed!”

“Your feelings?”

Paul turned towards him, his features scrunched up with conflict. “I fucking crave cock.”

“Ah. That.”

“Don’t you give me that! I was straight! I remember thinking that after I was done, I would bend Holy Mary over and fill her with so much of my cum she’d be popping out my cubs for years! But now…” He shook his head and stuck his tongue out. “Fuck… just the thought of woman’s… thing makes my balls shrivel up! Worse…”

He looked pleadingly at Caleb. “I want to be with you…”

“Me?”

“You’re my first, Hale. And fuck, you’re sexy.” Paul was shamelessly checking him out, the bulge in his jumpsuit starting to grow. “And Feral Fang…? Fuck.” Paul gripped the sides of his head angrily. “Goddamnit! This is so messed up!”

Caleb pondered this new information for a moment. “Fang and I are an item.”

“I know and really, I don’t care! I want to dive into bed with both of you and fuck until the end of the world! What is up with that!?”

“Honestly, I think it’s the supervillain in you talking…” Caleb answered.

Paul let out a loud roar and charged towards Caleb. The wolf flinched but Paul was stopped by the force field, his eyes wide and pleading.

“I don’t know what to do…” he pleaded. “What’s happened to me? Is this who I am now?”

Caleb glanced away briefly, conflicted himself. “Look, if given the choice, would you go back? Back to who you were before?”

“I don’t know… I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Fuck, Hale. I’d rob the fucking Federal Reserve for you and Fang just for a taste of your dick! I’ll carve your names into every forest so the goddamn gods can see! If you’re feeling sappy, I’ll build the three of us a log cabin in the wood. I’ll take you all away from this! We can live together in peace!”

He let out another frustrated roar and spun around, clutching his head. “What the fuck is wrong with me!? I’m a villain! That’s just… that’s just…”

A loud buzzing filled his ears again and he turned around to find the particle shield was down.

“You know I was given a second chance in life,” Caleb admitted. “Before I came into AEGIS, I was just a soldier. I fought in a war and was gravely injured. I think I officially died about seven times and they came bringing me back. Then Doc Newman got his hands on me and made me into what I am today. He gave me a second chance. I don’t remember everything about my past life but really, I don’t care. This is who I am now and I like it. No sense in looking to the past. I can only move forward.”

Paul approached the wolf slowly. Gentle, he brushed the back of his massive paw against Caleb’s cheek. “You know… I could break your neck right now and bust out of here.”

Caleb held the big bear’s paw. “But you won’t.”

The Lumberjack paused for a long moment. “But I won’t,” he echoed. He glanced past Caleb for a moment. “Hey… you want to stay the night at my place?”

Caleb smiled softly. “Is that bunk big enough?”

“You don’t need the bunk. You got me.”

With those words, Agent Caleb Hale followed the supervillain Lumberjack into his cell.

A pity the cells weren’t sound proof.

******

Sam remained quietly watching the recording of the forest for a long moment. He completely ignored the other presence in the room with him for a few more moments as he collected his thoughts. Only after a few minutes did he finally speak.

“That bad, huh?” he asked.

“Terrible,” answered W7 the Blade of the World. The silvery No One hovered off the ground, blades attached to her calves and forearms. Arcane runes were etched into her metallic flesh and though her features were completely organic, her anonymity came from the fact that she could change her facial features at will. “The natural balance of this world is becoming severely disrupted. The barriers between this reality and others are in jeopardy, R3.”

“So it is as we feared…” Sam sighed heavily. “D8 isn’t stirring up trouble and calling for us to purge this place, is he?”

“Not yet but you can tell he is thinking about it. Likely to do with your presence here. He’s learned his lesson from last time.”

“Good thing I invested in this place early then.” He glanced at the No One. “How’s the owner of this world doing?”

“She’s deeply concerned. Her multiverse is in jeopardy. The balance is being disrupted. This universe is being twisted and warped and as a result, it’s sending ripples throughout all the other realities connected to this one as well. Unfortunately, due to the divine nature of Holy Mary’s powers, she is unable to see entirely through the plots being undertaken.”

“That’s the thing about creating a universe with sentient life. You lay the ground work but their stories will be their own. Not that I’m complaining. That’s often what makes life fun to live.” Sam lost his smile and turned towards her. “Something I noticed is that when those men were being transformed, their semen was being extracted. Everything else in that machine was involved in pumping something into them but it was only their seed that was being taken out. I could easily dismiss this as some excess that needs to be disposed of but the sheer volume that they were producing seemed to indicate that they were… being harvested for some reason.”

“I’ll get right on it,” W7 said. “And R3… Be careful. It’s not only this universe that is at stake, after all.”

“I know. You might want to ask the owner to start fortifying the barriers between her worlds.”

“Agreed.”

******

Holy Mary stepped into the chamber and knelt.

“I have brought it, my lord.” She lifted the vial with the little, white gem inside. “The first Essence of Man.”

Her master plucked the vial from her hand and lifted it into the light, a big grin on his face. “Ah… perfect. It is spectacular, isn’t it? The concentrated essences of thousands of mortal men all transformed into big, hairy, bearish lumberjacks. Their seed, pure and containing imprints of their very spiritual energies as they underwent the transformation, all solidified and concentrated into a single gem.

“One step closer to our ultimate goal.”

Mary smiled. “Yes master.”

“Who is the closest to completing another gem?”

“The Foreman, I believe, my lord.”

“Ah! The rough and tumble, working man. Hard work, sweaty bodies and thick, strong muscles and smoking strong cigars. Perfect. Soon, the Sceptre of Man shall be complete!”

“And then your dream shall come true.”

“Yes! Paradise on Earth and beyond!” Her master held the vial into the air, the light glistening off his athletic, feline form and accentuating his orange fur. The artificially tattooed stripes all over his body shone in the line, words of an ancient bard etched forever into his flesh.

“All shall bow before the Gaylord!”