FSE

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formerly SoFurry search engine

Chapter 9: Sentiment

After that... let us say 'interesting' encounter with the human called Dante, I returned to my desperate search for my friend; although I felt and still feel like I am going in circles, I believe I am actually making some progress: after looking at an explicative map I found somewhere around town, I narrowed down a few places that kind of remind me of the neighbourhood Lepris lives at... now the problem is just reach them all, which is kind of difficult to solve. Even though there are plenty of 'buses' running around the streets, which, as far as I can see, are two-story tall red vehicles humans use to collectively go to one place, I cannot use them as a means of transportation since I require special 'tickets' to use them in the first place: when I interviewed the man in charge of one of these buses, he told me the only way I can buy one of these tickets is through human currency... which I do not possess at the moment at all. It seems as though I will have to walk my way to the other side of town on my own two feet again... even though my legs are begging me to stop torturing them at once...

Anyway, as I was saying, I ended up wandering in various districts of this city without a clear clue as to where to go, one of them being the one I am in at the moment: it is simply overrun with all sorts of restaurants, bars, 'cafeteria's (this 'Starbucks' really does not know what the word 'competition' even means, does he?), and all sorts of other, more exotic eating places... most of them were completely new to me, and I passed a fair number without even knowing what they cooked or prepared. It's such a shame that there are so many restaurants in this place... it would take me a whole year to visit them all! If only dragons were as innovative as humans were: my chefs have not cooked anything new ever since I was a child, and even then they constantly, miserably failed... maybe I will take a few of them on a trip to 'Earth' after I return home, so that they will finally learn something new for me: if they thought serving in the kitchen was wiser than serving in the army, they might as well do their job properly and constantly come up with new delicacies to satisfy my curiosity with... instead of always preparing the same dishes, over and over again. It got quite repetitive, to be honest... far too repetitive.

However, I spent too much time talking about cuisine: it's not a topic I find particularly relevant at the moment anyway. It is about time I stop wasting my precious time and finally return back on--wait, what is that thing over there? On the other side of the street, right in front of what looks like a rather small park with a modest marble fountain right in the middle, stands... some sort of zigzag wall with an incredible amount of... oh, I need to see this up close: I run up to what appears to be a small, open-air kiosk and witness... art.

Numerous, no, countless paintings of all shapes and sizes are attached to the wall of this makeshift booth, all made with different colours, different drawing and colouring methods, different subjects... different everything! From small orange and white animals playing within the hollow trunk of a dead tree to stylized figures sitting on the roof of an edifice while staring at quite realistic white clouds, it appears as though this artist's creativity knows no bounds... some of them are so realistic I can almost imagine myself in the painting, and others are so odd and original I can feel the emotion that sparked the concept to begin with. How... how can all this... beauty stand in a corner of the street, nonchalantly ignored by everyone nearby, when its rightful place is within the halls of an art gallery or the walls of a castle? Is it because humans think lowly of art... or is it because this is not the best they can produce? Maybe there are far, far better paintings I have yet to see, and this is only an insignificant sample of what humanity can produce... impossible...

Just now I notice the woman responsible for all this, focused on creating yet another work of art: through a technique I never heard about, which recurs to spraying an almost acid colour contained within metallic bottles on pre-made stencils and then using these same bottles to further define and refine the drawing itself, she draws and colours an image of a furred, fanged creature howling at an oversized representation of the moon, its body a silhouette in contrast to the blinding light of the moon... I swear I am crying right now...

“Why..." I whisper “Why does it take us years and a team of highly paid 'experts' to achieve only a fraction of the splendour a single human can craft in a few minutes!? Is this some kind of joke!?"

“Uh, excuse me?" the woman, clearly unsettled by my (hopefully) inaudible mutters, stands up and greets me, an optimistic look on her face “Can I help you?"

My name... is Red. I am a fire dragon, and the only survivor of the massive surprise attack that completely destroyed the capital of my kingdom. Whilst searching for my friend whom I got separated from, I was ambushed and almost killed by 'F.E.A.R.'s: however, just before they could strike me down, a man named Dante safely rescued me. He turned out to be far more powerful than I anticipated... good thing that he, too, works for the 'benign' entity called Karma. We departed soon after, but only after giving me a few ominous warnings...

The lady in front of me is dressed much more heavily than anyone else I have seen so far, most likely due to the apparent sudden change of temperature that happened half an hour ago and that I have yet to experience personally: she wears a grey garment that I believe is called a 'sweater', long white jeans, brown shoes and a weird semi-spheric white hat that is definitely not there to satisfy an aesthetic purpose. The woman herself appears to be a 'teenager' as well, except she appears to be a bit more... mature than Lepris, in a certain way: she has short, straight, highly unnatural white hair and warm black eyes, and does strike me as quite attractive... unlike a few other females I crossed before, which will most likely give me nightmares later tonight. Seriously, I am not even kidding...

“Are you feeling well?" she asks me as I immediately snap out of my indecorous thoughts, and I quickly apologize “I am sorry milady, I am perfectly fine: I was just taking a good look at you... again, please pardon me if that upset you." for a second she remains speechless, taken aback by my response, but she regains her composure a moment afterwards and replies, with the voice and attitude of a seasoned merchant “Well then, is there.. something else that interests you, apart from myself?"

“Well, your collection of paintings caught my interest quite so..." I answer, once again moving my eyes from artwork to artwork, finding only a few exceptions not worthy of attention “Are these paintings all yours? If I may ask, how much time did you spend drawing and colouring each one of them, roughly?"

“Well, the time I spend on each painting depends on how hard I decide to work on it, based on both personal interest and technique employed." she points to a small canvas full of dots, lines and geometrical figures “For this one, I was inspired by a few drawings I saw on a website I usually frequent: it was my first attempt at the genre, and I only spent a few hours on it... I didn't really get what the artist was trying to communicate, which is why it's... not one of my favourites. It costs two pounds, if you're willing to buy it." she then moves her finger towards the drawing featuring two animals playing within a dead tree's trunk “This is one of my favourites, and it took me a good three weeks to get it done properly... honestly, I'm quite saddened I have to give it away, but money ain't going to make itself: it costs around twenty pounds, if you like it."

“What about the one you were just making?" I inquire, and she immediately answers “Well, that one took me ten minutes at best, as you saw: I've got a whole lot of other paintings like that in my bag if you want to see them, all starring the same setting but coloured differently; since they're part of a series, they each cost around five pounds... maybe slightly less, but that's pretty much it."

To be honest, I have yet to understand how does this human currency known as 'pounds' relate to draconian gold coins, but if I reason that the money Lepris used to buy one of his shirts is equal to that required to buy one of this lady's most fine artworks... well, I cannot say I am now blown away... is creativity really this cheap on Earth?

“How much would this entire collection cost?" I ask, prompting the woman to... almost suffocate, for whatever reason “W-What did you ask again?"

“I am not joking, milady: I am seriously considering buying your entire repertoire. My home is rather vacant of originality and talent, and you offer plenty of both... and at an astoundingly low price as well. There is almost nothing I do not like and, if only I had any money with me right now, I could even consider buying everything you have this very instant... I am even considering hiring you as my personal artist, if you truly are as quick as you say you are." upon hearing my explanation, she erupts in a joyful laughter, clearly sceptical of my proposition but also flattered by it “Really now? You're not joking? Are you really that rich?"

“Pardon me, but I do not know what you mean when you say 'that rich'." I try to reason with her, hoping to make her understand that I am being quite serious with her “The only things I can tell you are that, if one gold coin has the same value as one of your 'pounds', then I could buy you and your enterprise hundreds of thousands of times; unfortunately, all my money is in... let us just say, foreign currency... and in a completely different country as well." she does not seem to be very convinced, but... maybe I need not be convincing “If you do not believe what I am saying is true, then that is perfectly fine: eventually, when the time is right, I will be back... and I will fulfil my promise, whether you like it or not." that surely left an impression on her... maybe too good an impression. Perhaps I am taking this 'art break' far too seriously than I should.

“Well then... we'll discuss the price as soon as you come back with actual money..." she winks at me friendly, meaning my words actually got through her... and, perhaps, that we are now more than just seller and buyer. Is this yet another friendship I just established? At least this one did not start with a life-threatening battle against formidable opponents... one half of me is satisfied with this outcome, the other regrets not being able to rapidly forge a friendship based on more than words and mutual interests... oh well, there's nothing I can do about it anyway.

“Anyway, my name's Merle: nice to meet you, 'gentleman'." she chuckles as she reveals to me her unfamiliar name; now that I think about it, I have yet to tell her my name as well... this conversation shifted direction so quickly I could not even tell her something as simple as my own birth-name! How ungraceful of me!

“A wonderful name indeed: mine is Red, and it is a pleasure to meet you; I apologize for not introducing myself before, by the way." Merle almost seems surprised by my courtesy, but that does not prevent her from responding the way she has all this time “Red... what an unusual name. Well, nice to meet you too." like Lepris, she too could benefit from a courtliness lesson or two... but, all things considered, she could be much ruder than I believe she is.

“Say, which painting do you like most?" she asks me as she pulls out a few more artworks and half-made canvases from a large bag she keeps behind the expository wall; some of them are even better than the paintings that are currently being showcased... one of them immediately catches my attention, and almost instantaneously becomes my favourite.

Above a sea of expertly-crafted and curiously-shaped grey clouds flies an avian much, much bigger than any I have seen flying high up in the sky so far... in fact, the shape and size of its body are so strange someone could even mistake it for a feathered, winged human... wait, is this... an otherkin? The bird has short white feathers that cover its whole body apart from its legs (or, rather, claws) that are black and more rigid in comparison to the rest of its body; the large, big-feathered wings on the bird's back do not coincide with its arms, which are still present even though feral birds, generally at least, do not possess them... as for the head, it sports a short black beak, big black eyes and, surprisingly enough (unless you view the artwork the way I am currently, of course), short white hair flowing in the wind. The anatomy of this bird reminds me a lot of that of us dragons, but since dragons do not exist in this world as far as I know... then the only reasonable conclusion is that the person here described is an otherkin... moreover, if all this were not enough, the expression this shape-shifter is making, one of pure freedom and abandonment to the wind, is far too human to be that of a mere animal, or even of a monster for that matter. The question is: if this woman does know about the existence of otherkins, because it is possible that this artwork could be just a product of her imagination, does it mean that she is one or that she simply knows one such person?

Wishing to know more about this art piece, I point the painting to Merle, who is quick to block me “That one I won't sell: it's my favourite, and I'm really attached to it... sorry, but I won't part from it."

“That is perfectly fine by me: if that is what you wish, then I am no-one to force you." I reassure her, and ask “Say, what... inspired you to make that painting?"

It takes her a while to find the right words, but when she does... they reek of sorrow and regret “I once dreamed I could go wherever I wanted, do whatever I wanted, think whatever I wanted... and, most of all, fly as high as I wanted. I once dreamed of flying in a sea of clouds, no, even higher up than the clouds, so close to the Sun I could almost touch it... I wanted to prove that the sky isn't a limit, but an opportunity..." she turns away to dry a tear that threatens to fall from her right eye, her voice cracking for an instant like that of a child “...However, as with all dreams, one day... you wake up, and you realize you haven't moved from the ground one bit... and you start thinking that, maybe, you never will." a deafening silence fills the air, and I find myself once again incapable of answering an implicit question I cannot understand. And yet, I feel like I have to say something... anything, as long as it makes her feel better.

“You might not have moved from the ground one bit... but that does not prevent you from trying again, this time for real. Plus, it is untrue that all dreams are illusions: if they were designed specifically to make fun of us, I seriously doubt we would even have them in the first place." it might not have been a lot, and honestly I do not even know what exactly I was advocating for, but Merle seems to appreciate my words immensely and regains her usual facade in a few seconds, now stronger than ever “Yeah, you're right... that's exactly what I did, and I won't give up now. I will show this world that dreams can come true, no matter the cost! I know I can make it, and that's all I need!"

Now, to be honest, I am just as clueless as before in regards to that painting and her knowledge of otherkins... but I cannot ask the same question twice, else she might realize there might be a second purpose behind the inquiry... which could be good if she were an otherkin, but disastrous if she were not. I cannot risk revealing Lepris's secret to a mere acquaintance, especially to one I cannot trust fully... but perhaps I can at least attempt to find out through other, more subtle remarks.

I inspect the rest of her gallery, and find one other painting that I could use to assess her knowledge of otherkins... and of my kin as well: a rather realistic representation of a dragon, although there are quite a lot of mistakes in its form that I wish to tell the artist about. For example, this dragon walks on all fours like an animal... and is so big and tall an entire mountain would not be enough to house it: these are only the littlest of the misconceptions this lady has about my kind... misconceptions I intend to rectify right now.

“May I ask you a question?" I turn to the artist, who gives me clearance to proceed via her expression “Have you followed someone else's advice to depict this dragon or is this a product of your imagination?" she looks at the painting I am talking about and replies, quite sure “This was my third attempt at drawing dragons, and I kept in mind both ancient and modern representations of occidental dragons while doing so... so, what do you think of it?"

“Well, pardon me milady, but both your piers and ancestors are quite mislead on the appearance of dragons: first off, a dragon is not that different from a human in terms of size and appearance, and they certainly do not walk around on four feet like a prey to be hunted... and their decency also prevents them from running around naked like this one." Merle is now looking at me like I just said the biggest idiocy in the world, but has yet to correct me on anything I said; I decide to make some more comments, just to spark some kind of reaction from her... whether good or bad “Moreover, there are some additional... inconsistencies in its design that are quite hard to explain. For example, at least from the looks of it, this... individual appears to be a fire dragon, as you can tell from the colour of his iris, which is of course red: however, the length of his tail is quite disproportional to the length of his body, meaning this could also be a dark dragon... there are other minor differences, but let us focus on these two for now. So, if he were a fire dragon, he could not have such a lengthy tail... however, if he were a dark dragon, he could not have such red irises, as dark dragons tend to have them either black or purple: the only way this... hybrid could exist is if he were son of both a fire dragon and a dark dragon... but the likelihood of such a conception is quite low, and there is no proof that the combination would result in an individual that possesses both typical characteristics..."

“I see..." the lady mutters as she covers her mouth with her right fist, possibly meaning she might be reasoning something in her head “Say, you keep referring to this dragon as a male... which is, by the way, what I was thinking while making him... but I can't understand what makes you think he's a guy. So, mind explaining?"

“Not at all: you can tell he is a man simply by looking at his wings and his limbs. The former are large and robust, meaning he is most certainly a male; the latter are strong and muscular. Both these informations point to this dragon's gender being masculine--oh, and also the shape of his head: it's jagged and sharp, also most likely implying he's a male." I hope she takes this advice at heart and does not make such crucial mistakes next time she draws a... wait, why was I telling all this to her in the first place? I think I may have lost myself in all those ramblings... how can I use all I just said to test her?

“Alright, let me ask you another question then." she turns towards me, an inquisitive expression on her face; I am afraid I will not like what she is going to say next “You seem pretty confident that what you're saying is true... but everything you've said so far can't be found in any book or legend, even in the most ancient ones... at least as far as I know: so, how do you know all this stuff? Where have you read all this information?" Gods, how do I get out of this mess? I thought this conversation would have led her to reveal me her true self... and instead I only managed to force myself into a corner! I cannot just tell her I am a dragon, especially if she is not an otherkin... I need to reply in a way that will make her back down, at least temporarily... but how?

“Well, I have an entire library full of all kinds of books on dragons: I just gave you a summary of everything I have learned from them." at first I think this answer would suffice, but she is quick to react and inquires “Oh, yeah? What kinds of books are they? Give me a few titles, possibly even the names of the authors." she is being quite pretentious towards me, but I cannot make complaints... especially since I am the one to blame for this awkward situation.

As I attempt to invent a few names to please her, in vain, I hear movement to my right... a lot of it, in fact: both me and Merle turn towards the source of the noise and miraculously catch a poorly-dressed, rather small burglar in the act of stealing some paintings from the expository wall, clearly taking advantage of our heated discussion: as soon as I shout him to hand over the stolen goods, he begins running away in the opposite direction... but I cannot allow him to get away with his crime and immediately chase him down, dead-set not to let him run away.

Even though this human is not particularly fast, I am still quite exhausted from all the walking I did before and that prevents me from catching the man immediately... I do still have enough energy left to slowly gain an advantage over him though, and it is only a matter of seconds before I almost reach him. However, just before I can grab his jacket and stop him from getting away, a sudden and strangely powerful gust of wind coming from up front blows in our direction, stopping the burglar from escaping and almost preventing me to move as well... except it does not, and I manage to move, although with a certain difficulty, all the way towards the man: it does not take me long to snatch the paintings away from the man and bind him to the ground... just as, coincidentally, the storm ends. How curious... I turn towards Merle, whom I find holding an open, finely decorated fan towards my direction: as soon as she notices me, she puts back the fan into one of her jeans' pockets (funny how I never noticed that fan before... or even the other one, which she holds in a parallel pocket) and rushes towards me, concerned for her merchandise.

“Nothing broken, nothing ruined... good, it seems like everything's still as good as ever." she says as she grabs the artworks and puts them back in their place; meanwhile, I look at the people eating and conversing at the tables on the other side of the road: they appear to not care less about anything that just transpired... in fact, it almost looks as if they are purposefully ignoring us... how disgraceful of them.

“Now, about you..." Merle returns soon afterwards, and turns to face what I can now see is nothing more than a kid, vainly wrestling on the ground while muttering sentences along the lines of 'Let me go!'; “You're just a kid... why did you try to steal those paintings? Why would you ever need them?" she asks, and only obtains elusive answers and offensive remarks in return... wait, now that I think about it... this kind of reminds me of a 'situation' I had with a young troublemaker back in Draconia: I may already know the reason behind this kid's deplorable actions.

Just to be sure, I put my right hand on the kid's chest and assess his heartbeat: it's somewhat fast, but that is most likely due to the sudden stress... I memorize it and then ask the boy, who is still opposing resistance “Let me ask you a question: are you doing this because you aspire to be a burglar..." my question is greeted with harsh, ironic dissent and the kid's heartbeat does not increase at all... but I had foreseen it “...Or because you seek to satisfy someone else's desires? Perhaps those of someone... very special to you?" his heartbeat skyrockets as he immediately stops resisting and even talking. It seems as though I was right all along... but then again, when am I in the wrong?

The kid breaks down soon afterwards, crying all over the pavement as he sobs about a girl he has fallen in love with, who is gentle with him despite his horrible behaviour and whom he wished to gift those drawings to thank her for her friendship... yes, this sounds more or less like that incident I mentioned before: once again, a crime of love... and, once again, I perfectly know how to solve it.

“Ah, love... it's ironic how the highest and most noble of sentiments can sometimes lead to the lowest acts imaginable... do you not think so?" I let go of the kid, and warn him “If you think stealing is the only way you can repay a woman of her kindness, then you are clearly mistaken: what do you think she will say the day she learns of your past misdeeds? She will probably abandon you, most likely disgusted of herself, knowing she was the cause of your lawless act... and you will never forgive yourself either, meaning you will both suffer until the end of times..." he could escape at any time, and yet he's choosing to stay here and listen, rightfully ashamed of his actions... this means he is being sincere, and that means the last part of my speech will not go to waste “If you truly want to brighten this girl's day, gift her something that you obtained through hard work and dedication: something that is yours, something that money cannot buy... something that will make her remember you for as long as she lives. That is the right way... and I am sure you will follow it, for you are a much nicer person than you think you are." he nods as he dries his tears, thanks the both of us (both for my words and for not calling the 'police' on him) and runs away, now a much better person.

“Are you sure we've done the right thing?" Merle inquires, unsure “I mean, what if he just goes to the next shop he finds and attempts to steal once more? He may have lied about the 'girl' part as well."

“He was not lying, that much I can assure you: kids do not know how to control their bodies, they do not know how to 'fake' their heartbeat... if he truly were lying, he would be a much better criminal than any I have ever witnessed! I am sure he now knows what he did was wrong, and is already thinking of another, nicer present to gift his lady; kids are young, and easily strayed from the right path... but, with the right guidance, they can overcome their flaws and become better people: nobody is born evil, not even the worst of criminals." she does not seem fully convinced, but it appears as though my words had some sort of effect on her...

That's when the ring on my right index finger tightens once more as a faint light coming from the expertly-crafted dragon's eyes shines and directs me towards... none other than Merle herself, who appears to be unable to even see the light of the ring. I immediately recognize this event: this is exactly what happened yesterday night, just before I met Lepris... if it were not for the ring, I doubt we would have ever crossed paths. Does this imply that Merle is... an otherkin as well? Are my suspicions true after all?

-Everyone you involve in your quest will suffer, and it'll only be your fault...- Dante's words echo in my mind, reminding me of a terrible truth: if we both tell each other the truth, we will most likely be bound to one another just like me and Lepris... and that means she will have to go through a whole lot of suffering as well. How far am I willing to go in my quest before I break all those around me, who so gently lent me their power for my noble cause? Is her friendship, her alliance, worth more than her feelings... or even her own life?

Of course it is: now that I know that my very presence is a curse both for me and for others, even though I will need all the help I can get in the final battle, I will not risk any more lives in my quest, especially those of innocent bystanders; therefore, I decide not to further pester the lady with otherkin-related questions and to treat her merely as the skilled artist she is.

However, the woman herself has not forgotten, nor wish to forget the discussion we were having before we were interrupted by that scoundrel “So, about those books..." how foolish of me: I had the perfect chance to run away and I wasted it! What can I do now that I cannot-

Something rings inside yet another pocket in the lady's jeans: a phone, perhaps? At least it manages to get the human off of me for a few instants: she grabs the white-coloured phone and presses something along its surface, then nears it to her ear “Hello? Who is it?" after a few brief seconds, her expression gets more serious as she turns to face the entirety of the road in front of us, almost in search of something; then, unexpectedly, she hands me her phone while muttering “It's for you." alright, this is strange... Lepris told me enough about phones to know the person calling could not know I was near this lady, or even know this lady's phone number in the first place...

I grab the electronic device and near it to my own ear, before asking “Hello?"

“Hey." I recognize this voice... is this Dante? Speak about the devil... “Sorry for interrupting your art break, but there's something odd going on... and I think you might want to hear about it." he tells me, in a worried but, at the same time, surprisingly calm and inexpressive voice.

I turn to face the opposite road as well, and find the man whom I am talking to sitting alone next to a few empty tables in front of one of those 'Starbucks' cafeterias, his two-wheeled means of transportation nonchalantly parked right before him, seemingly intact despite exploding in a million pieces only half an hour ago; he waves at me as he adds, his voice a tad lower “It's about your friend, Lepris." oh no... have my worries come true once more?

“What happened to Lepris?" I inquire, desperate “Is he in trouble?"

“'Trouble' is an understatement: from the looks of it, he got hit by a huge 'F.E.A.R.' while protecting my partner, Fortune, and an innocent bystander... the monster has been dealt with, but it seems as though your friend lost his mind. Fortune said he began rambling about incoherent stuff and making accusations at both her and you and that he fled the scene soon after, somehow managing to evade her and disappear from sight... worst of all, I've got readings of a huge dark power amassing somewhere around the middle of the city, and I fear it might be related to what just happened with your friend. To sum it all up: we're running out of time and, if you want to save your friend, you have to come with me right now." well, he's certainly not beating around the bush... to be honest, I am quite scared: I have a feeling this whole situation is my fault, a mess I will have to solve.

“I need to go: we shall continue this discussion at a later date." I tell Merle as I give her back her phone and watch Dante get back on his two-wheeled vehicle and drive all the way across the road, disrespectful of the laws of the street... although I have to say I could not care less about them in this moment.

“Wait: where are you going?" she asks me, confused.

“To save the day." I answer as I mount the loud stallion right behind the man, who immediately takes off as soon as I find a way not to fall from the transport's high velocity: it appears as though this one will be a wild ride... one that I cannot say I am not excited for.