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Chapter 50

Sharp, piercing pain flared in her lip as Sophia sank into the sea of powdery snow. Her backpack slid forward, dragging her even deeper. Scrambling to get her arms underneath her, panic clawed at her when they couldn’t find anything solid to push off of. After what felt like an eternity, the snow compacted under her weight and she was able to push herself up and draw a deep breath.

I hope Shadow didn’t see that. Embarrassment surged through her as she fought to get her head above the snow.

Propping herself up on her hands, she managed to get into a kneeling position. Wind and icy snow pelted her already painfully cold face and her nostrils flared at the scent of blood - her blood. Loose snow tumbled inside her snowsuit, quickly melting against her warm shirt.

Where is Shadow anyway? Anger replaced embarrassment as she squinted against the swirling snow, before remembering she was alone. He’s probably hiding out from the storm, like any sensible wolf - or person.

She shivered as snow caught in her collar started to sap heat from her neck but she made no effort to remove it. Something warm and wet trickled down her chin from her stinging lower lip. Extending her tongue, she tentatively touched the throbbing part of her lip and discovered she had bitten it with one of her upper canines when she had slipped.

What was I thinking? She forgot about her bleeding lip as crushing despair crashed down on her. I’m not a wolf; I don’t belong out here. Tears started to roll down her cheek, painfully hot against her cold cheeks. I don’t belong anywhere.

The wet tears quickly cooled, adding to her misery. Just the energy required to prop herself up increasingly felt beyond her.

Why not just lay back down? Even Wolfgirl seemed to have given up. Let the storm take me. It would make things so much easier for everyone else. Shadow will find a real wolf mate and Dad will no longer be burdened by me.

Her arms started to give out and she slowly sank back down. The snow seemed to welcome her as her face sank a couple of centimeters into it. She closed her eyes and just lay there, breathing.

I just want to belong somewhere…

Blowing cold powder rained down on her as the wind picked up. Fine snow tickled her forehead and she imagined it was Shadow tenderly nuzzling her. The howl of the wind became his call and, as it died down, it seemed to transform into…

Mom? Sophia thought maybe she had died. But if I’m dead, why does everything still hurt?

“Are you okay?” The sound resolved into a woman’s frantic voice. “Should I call an ambulance?”

Sophia opened her eyes and propped herself up, snow falling off her hat. Squinting against the blizzard, she saw only a silhouette struggling against the wind and snow to reach her. Tears blurred Sophia’s vision, causing the form to look even more like a ghost.

“Are you hurt, young lady?” the form asked insistently. “I saw you lying out here from my window.”

Sophia blinked the tears away and the form resolved into a gray-haired woman, clutching her heavy white coat against the gale. Despite her small stature and age, she stood like a rock against the storm.

Great, now I’m going to be a burden to someone else.

“I’m okay,” Sophia told her, struggling to free herself from the deep snow. “Thanks for checking.”

“You’re bleeding!” The woman observed in alarm as Sophia managed to finally find her feet.

Sophia brushed her lip and her glove came away with a small streak of dark red. Can’t walk on all fours and I managed to bite myself with my own fangs. I make a terrible wolf.

Despite her dark thoughts, she could feel energy returning. Wolfgirl seemed to return along with it, regarding the unfamiliar human with suspicion.

I also suck at being human, but it looks like I’m stuck being one for now.

“I bit my lip when I slipped,” she explained to the woman. “It just stings a little. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?” The woman asked as she put her hand on Sophia’s arm, who fought the urge to growl in response. “You’re welcome to come to my house and warm up.”

The woman pointed at the last house on the street, just a dozen yards from where they were.

“Really, I’m okay,” Sophia assured her. “I live just down the street.”

“Alright dear,” the woman relented at last. “Just be careful; I’d feel awful if I found out you didn’t make it home safely.”

“Thanks for checking on me,” Sophia said as she adjusted her backpack.

She started trudging towards the road, moving around the snow pile. To her surprise, the woman kept pace.

“What brought you over here on such a dreadful day?” the woman asked, raising her voice above the storm.

“School was rough today and I just wanted to be away from everything,” Sophia told her, feeling oddly vulnerable despite Wolfgirl’s suspicion.

The woman gave a rueful laugh, “I can certainly appreciate wanting that but no need to make the day even rougher. You’re young; there’s always tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Sophia replied sourly. “Tomorrow.”

She’s right though, I can join Shadow tomorrow, hope and determination flickered in her chest.

“Well, maybe not tomorrow,” the woman amended. “It’s supposed to get bitterly cold.” She stopped at the walk to her house. “You take care now and stay warm.”

Wonderful, I’m never getting away at this rate. Still, Sophia found the woman’s warmth infectious.

“You too!” she waved at the woman before heading home.

At least it’s warm, Sophia shivered as she pulled off her boots in the front hall of her house. Maybe I’ll get to keep some fur after the next full moon.

The skin on her face started to tingle and sting as it warmed up. Setting her boots off to the side, she grabbed her backpack and headed towards the kitchen. The smells coming from the dirty dishes piled high in the sink and the full trash reminded her just how hungry she was.

And there’s food I don’t need to hunt for, she opened the fridge and rifled through the containers of leftovers. Being human does have its advantages.

Pulling out several containers, she brought them over to the counter and flipped off the lids. She was disappointed but unsurprised to find the pork heavily depleted. Grabbing a small piece, she chewed on it while she looked for a clean dish to put it on.

Food I don’t need to fight cougars for. She found a plate and set it on the counter before stuffing a sausage in her mouth. If only Shadow could live here.

Pausing to watch the billowing snow outside, she imagined Shadow living in the house with her. An amused smile touched her lips as the daydream transformed into an image of Shadow sitting at the table with her. She pictured them talking about their days in wolfish sounds with plates piled high with meat in front of them. Muscles in her lower back twitched as she toyed with the fantasy, imagining him snuggling up to her in her bed.

It’s not the mountains, but I wouldn’t need to worry about fur.

Sighing, she emptied the leftover containers and added them to the pile of dirty dishes. Turning back to the counter, her gaze drifted back to the swirling snow outside. The images from the fantasy turned to memories of the past month and her adventures with Shadow. Her amusement faded and her gloom returned.

I feel like I’m trapped between two worlds, she shook her head and looked down at her full plate. And belong to neither.

Hours later, Sophia snapped awake at the sound of knocking on her bedroom door.

“Sophia?” Her dad’s voice came from the door. “Are you home?”

Unfortunately.

“Yeah,” she confirmed sullenly. “I’m home.”

“Shift get canceled?” He asked through the door. “I thought you were working tonight.”

“Linda told me not to come in tonight because of the storm,” she replied, fingering her phone on the bed next to her.

Not that I was planning on going in tonight - or ever again - anyway.

“Good, I was worried,” he told her. “It’s really bad out there.”

“I noticed,” Sophia replied acidly.

“Alright, just checking on you,” her dad said and his footsteps sounded in the hall.

Huh, he didn’t say anything about me being late or missing a class today, Sophia rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. I wonder if he’ll ever find out when I miss school tomorrow… or the next day.

The howling wind outside and the warmth of the snowsuit she hadn’t bothered to take off soon made her feel drowsy again.

I don’t care how cold it gets tomorrow; nothing is keeping me from Shadow. She traced her teeth with her tongue. He loves and understands me.

***

It’s so cold, Sophia’s teeth chattered as she fought through a foot of powdery snow. I need to get used to it; I’m a wolf now. Gritting her teeth, she pushed herself on.

Wind-blown snow pelted the exposed parts of her face like tiny icy daggers. Gasping for air, she adjusted the pink, woolen scarf she had dug out of the front hall closet. She had made it to the edge of her backyard during her first foray before she had returned to ransack the house for as many warm clothes as she could. Despite putting on so many layers that she could barely bend her limbs, the frigid air that morning still seemed to find its way through.

I can’t smell anything through this scarf! She stopped and put her gloved, but already numb, hands on her thighs as she struggled to breathe. And it smells horrible!

Turning her head, she was disheartened that she could still see houses through the trees. Tugging down her scarf, she sniffed, hoping for any sign of Shadow. Instead, the sudden influx of cold air dried out her upper airway and she coughed. Quickly, she flipped the scarf back over her nose.

I’m never going to find him! Frustrated, she sank to her knees, still gasping for air. No, he’s close, I know it.

Struggling back to her feet, she resumed wading through the knee-deep snow. She made it another fifty feet before her burning legs and lungs forced her to stop again.

I can’t… Sinking back to her knees, she closed her eyes, exhausted. What was that?

Opening her eyes again, she looked towards the faint noise she thought she had heard. Her heart soared when she saw Shadow coming down the hill in front of her. Despite it coming up to his stomach, he almost seemed to glide effortlessly through the snow. His tail and ears were high as he headed towards her and everything about him exuded barely contained anticipation. He almost seemed to glow despite the lack of direct sunlight. However, when he was less than twenty feet away, his gait slowed and his demeanor shifted.

What’s wrong? Sophia’s elation turned to confusion. I’m here!

She narrowed her eyes in puzzlement as the wolf made a series of yips, whines and other sounds. After she didn’t answer, he repeated the vocalization.

No… Her heart stopped. No! I can’t understand him! Why can’t I understand him?

Her furry boyfriend stopped a few feet from her, clearly distressed now. He whined and yipped, but Sophia still could not comprehend him no matter how hard she tried.

I can hear the sounds, but I don’t know what they mean! Her mind whirled, refusing to accept this fact.

Finally, she managed to pull together enough strength to cover the last few feet between them. Pulling down her scarf, she collapsed in front of him and touched her nose to his in greeting. His scent filled her nostrils and she drank from it greedily.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered as she started to cry. “I didn’t stay… And now…”

Shadow rotated an ear and looked at her with confusion, disappointment and shock evident in his eyes and body. A soft whine echoed from deep within his throat and even his scent seemed to turn forlorn.

He can’t understand me either… Sophia started to cry harder as hope died. I left him and now we can’t understand each other!

For a moment, she just knelt there sobbing. Then, she felt Shadow’s tongue slide up her cheek. He made a series of yelps and rumbles, the gist of which coalesced into the most meaningful word in the world - ‘love.’

He paused before following with a short series of sounds and this time Sophia recognized them together even if she couldn’t make sense of them individually.

“Wolf of Many Scents,” she whispered as her sobs quieted down. “Your name for me. I remember that.”

He called me Wolf of Many Scents! Hope rekindled within her and she broke into an excited grin even as her face started to feel numb from the cold.

“I love you too.” She gave him a lick-kiss on his nose before adding, “Mischievous Nose.”

Shadow clearly didn’t understand what she said but had certainly picked up on her change in mood. His tail lifted up in excitement and his eyes brightened. Sophia moved to nuzzle his snout, enjoying the feeling of his fur on her face. He affectionately rubbed his muzzle against her in return.

Everything is okay! She shivered against the cold. I can learn to understand him!

Her companion’s excitement was short-lived lived and he made a questioning whine that sounded worried, ‘danger.’

He wants me to go back.

“I want to stay with you,” Sophia told him pleadingly. “I don’t want to be human anymore. I can’t go back.”

Shadow looked at her and gave her a gentle lick-kiss but rumbled and whined.

“I’m changing,” Sophia argued desperately. “Look!”

Not nearly enough… She banished the traitorous thought.

She pulled back and bared her teeth, displaying her changed canines. Shadow looked at her mouth curiously before displaying his own teeth. The long, curved daggers in his maw made her’s look positively puny in comparison. After a moment, he closed his mouth, stepped forward and put his paw on her heavily padded knee.

‘Love,’ he rumbled, looking uncertain and more than a little reluctant.

“Please let me stay,” Sophia whispered hopefully. “Please.”

Shadow hesitated but then whined and yipped sadly and Sophia knew what he was saying even if she didn’t understand the ‘words’.

“I’m not human anymore!” she cried out. “I’m a wolf!”

But not wolf enough for him, anger flashed through her and she shoved at him.

Pushing against his strong body was like pushing against a boulder, but he backed up a few paces anyway.

“You told me you wanted to be my mate, that you loved me!” she cried even as her teeth chattered. “And now you reject me away when I need you most!”

Then the wolf made a desperate whining sound and Sophia’s rage caught in her throat. He carefully moved back towards her, gently took the scarf in his mouth and tugged up on it.

“Alright,” Sophia conceded dejectedly and tugged it back over her mouth. “Okay, I’ll go.”

Slowly, she stood, turned away from him and started to trudge the way she had come.

It took over an hour for her to make it home and barely had the strength to open the backdoor. Exhausted and depressed, she staggered to her room and collapsed in bed with her boots still on. There, she lay for the rest of the day, awake, alternating between staring at the ceiling, the window and her open door. She didn’t even react when her dad’s truck pulled in.

“Sophia!” He yelled when he opened the door from the garage. “In here, now!”

When she didn’t come, his footsteps thundered through the house as he stomped towards her room.

“I can’t believe you skipped school today!” he bellowed as he appeared in her doorway. “And missed a class yesterday!”

When she only turned to look at him blankly, he hesitated.

“What is going on with you?” he asked at last, sounding less angry. “Are you sick? Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?”

He waited for her to say something, but she just stared at him.

“Fine,” He snapped when it became clear she wasn’t responding. “Don’t talk to me. Let me find out when the school leaves a message wondering where you are.”

He waited again for a response.

“Whatever,” he grumbled. “We’ll talk about this later.”

He stomped away and Sophia returned to staring at the ceiling. The sound of dishes being roughly handled in the kitchen soon reached her, followed by the sound of the TV.

Sometime later, a faint buzzing emanated from her backpack on the floor next to her bed where she had dropped it.

Why bother? Sophia rolled over to stare at her backpack. Probably the store wondering where I am.

But the buzz only happened once and curiosity faintly flickered in her. Expending what little energy she could scavenge, she unzipped the front pocket and pulled the phone out. Rolling onto her back, she flipped it open. A message appeared on her screen.

Hey Soph, I saw u weren’t in school today. Everything ok? <3 Candy

Sophia stared at the text until the phone’s screen turned off. Then, her arms shaking, she turned the screen back on and selected reply. Somehow, she managed to slowly push the buttons on the number pad and hit send:

I cld realy use sme1 2 talk 2.

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