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[b][u][center]The Love of Toys

Part 11

For Taiko

By Draconicon[/center][/u][/b]

Despite the order, they could all tell that Fine Silver wasn’t happy about it. Chris looked from the great whale spirit to the snake in silver sheen. The conceited figurine had his arms crossed petulantly, and that long tail flicked from side to side more like an irritated cat rather than a powerful serpent.

[i]Well, at least that means that Fine Silver isn’t completely taken by Black’s personality…[/i]

That was something, he supposed. He’d started to worry that there was more negative to Black than he’d originally noticed. Seeing the way that Fine Silver was gripping at him, the way that there was no self-control in the gropes from the tail and…everything else, had made him worry that Black had been hiding more than just the bit about being a ‘Curse’. Now that he saw the other habits, the other bits of body language, he felt better. Not great, but better.

“Let him out, Fine Silver,” Oury repeated.

“Why? So he can prove that he is nothing but trouble, again? He was the one responsible for delaying me, hiding, ignoring [i]your[/i] orders to return, need I remind you, my Maker.”

“Yes, and that is what I will ask him about. Now, let him out.”

There was a moment where it looked like Fine Silver would reject the order, that his pride would demand that he refuse to go along with what his Maker told him. Chris half-expected that to happen, as a matter of fact. It looked like it might be the thing that Fine Silver needed to form his own character arc.

Instead, he nodded, slowly peeling himself away. Chris pulled up his pen and paper, starting to write again.

The process was a fascinating one, almost like watching someone peeling off the dead skin after a sunburn. The way that the snake shape turned into something more like liquid, as the silver started to slide and drip and flow, the way that it turned into something more like a ball rather than something solid and living, was downright eerie, but at the same time, worth putting to writing. He imagined something like that in one of his books, something that went about to capture the bad guys, something that was as terrifying to the good guys as it was to the evildoers.

[i]…Might be a bit too true to life, that one. That’s close to the cops, sometimes…[/i]

Shaking his head, he still took notes, watching as the silver was replaced with black scales. Here and there, the darkness started to take form once more, and he knew that Black would be happy to be let loose. He just wondered how much the snake had seen and felt from within the silver figurine.

Fine Silver pulled back slowly, almost as if hoping to be told that he could stop if he took long enough to get it done. He was like a petulant child doing a chore that he didn’t want to do, and it once more reminded him of how young Fine Silver actually was compared to all the others. All the experience that Gold and Chrome had with the world meant that they were able to take the disappointments in their stride. For Fine Silver, he obviously expected to get it done perfectly the first time, and the fact that he was questioned at all just didn’t sit well with him. Maybe that was why his responses were always so…spiky.

Finally, Black was all but revealed. All that was left was his head, and Chris waited with bated breath to see what the snake’s reaction would be. Fine Silver was more of a ball of wet-looking metal, floating just off to the side of the snake’s body. It looked almost like some sort of sci-fi drone, something waiting to re-attach itself to the ‘Curse.’ Chris cocked his head to the side as Oury leaned down, the massive whale tapping the silver ball.

“All the way.”

“…Fine.”

With a soft pop, Fine Silver completely detached, pulling off of Black’s head as if he had been a helmet to him all this time. The ball hit the ground and rolled, moving off to the side and reforming into a lion. Nobody cared; Fine Silver’s time in the limelight had passed, and all anyone was interested in was Black.

Chris felt that focus shift, almost like someone was pulling a spotlight in tight around the snake, but didn’t mind. At that moment, Black was the most interesting person in the room.

#

Black opened his eyes, and he knew that things had gone worse than he thought. The apartment was gone. The soft smells of metal and Chris were gone. All that was left was the smell of mud and muck, of water and poisons, and the horrible feeling of being trapped. He could feel the Maker’s power all around him, the familiar sense of the workshop, but with something slightly different. Not crushed beneath the water this time, not so magical and ethereal as usual.

Before he could try and make sense of what that meant, he looked up to see his Maker looming over him. Oury had his eyes half-closed in that expression of ‘wisdom’ that he always had, and he could see the whale’s mouth moving.

[i]You are going to tell me I was wrong.[/i]

He knew he wasn’t, and he knew that he couldn’t take being told that, [i]again.[/i] So, he spoke first.

#

Chris and Jane both jumped when Black shouted. The snake’s voice boomed, just as loud as Oury’s but very different in tone. Where Oury had a voice that was low, rippling through the air like the sound of a whale singing through the sea, Black’s voice was like thunder, striking and shattering the silence around them.

“You better change me back now, because I will find a way out again if you don’t.”

It had all the volume of a shout, but none of the hysteria. It was controlled rage, and Chris was rather shocked at just how injured and pained it was. He wrote that down, keeping his hand as steady as possible as he watched the confrontation.

“All of you must be figurines in the workshop, Black. That has always been the rule,” Oury said. “I have every reason to change you. You broke the rules. You stayed away when I called you back.”

“No. I stayed away because it wasn’t done.”

“Did you have any intention of finishing the job?”

“Did you have any intention of ever letting me do anything but hurt someone?”

The whale spirit’s eyes widened slightly, and Chris knew that this was something else that Oury had never gone through. This was probably a day of new things for the great whale spirit, something that was forcing him to see the world in a different light.

[i]How would that feel?[/i] Chris wondered. [i]To think that you had it all figured out, that you had put everyone in their own little boxes, their own prescribed characters, and then find out that you’d put someone in the wrong slot?[/i]

Or at the very least, into a slot that they didn’t want to be in. He paused in his scribbling, and once more wondered if he’d started to do that with Gold and Chrome. One a grand-standing comedy cat, the other a nurturing zebra, but what else were they? He realized that he’d been slowly pushing them further and further into that sort of flanderized role in his writing, and he shook his head.

[i]That’s bad writing, and bad people stuff,[/i] he thought. [i]Okay. Guess Oury’s not the only one learning today…[/i]

Black stood his ground as Oury looked down at him, the snake stepping forward as he continued.

“Ever since you made me, you decided that I would be the one to [i]hurt.[/i]”

“You were my punisher, yes.”

“No. I was your [i]vengeance.[/i] Do you know what that means, hmm?”

“I know it means you have no respect left, compared to your fellows.”

“It means I know every bad thing that you feel, Oury.”

It was the first time that one of the figurines had called the whale anything but the respectful ‘Maker’ title. Even though Chrome had used the title and the name, there had always been that respect behind it, that bowed-head, kneeling before the creator feeling. There was none of that with Black. There was just the name, and it was spat out with all the hate and anger and fear that usually came from someone that was finally getting the chance to confront an abuser.

“You gave me eyes to see pain, to see the weak points. Do you want to know what I see when I look at you? Hmm? Do you want to know what I see when I look at the great creator, the Maker, the grand benevolent spirit?”

“…”

“No. Nobody wants to know what [i]I[/i] see, because I see the bad things. The shameful ones. I see the cracks and weaknesses. I see the things that hurt you, that can break you. Do you know how [i]hard[/i] that is?”

“I know that you had a purpose.”

“A purpose that I never had a choice in wanting! And then you did it again, except this time, you made someone that [i]liked[/i] it.”

He flung a hand towards Fine Silver, the black-scaled snake in full fury. Chris stopped writing, almost entranced by what he was seeing. This was confrontation at its best. Oury tried to speak, but Black didn’t let him.

“No, you shut up. You listen to me. You’ve given all the commands. Nobody ever questioned you. It’s time that [i]you[/i] had to justify yourself. Tell me, Oury. What’s it feel like to make someone that can only take pleasure in one thing? What’s it feel like to create someone that can only ever be good at [i]one[/i] thing? To hunt. To capture. To make someone else – to make ONE PERSON – their target, and to have no other purpose. At least with me, I could do this to anyone, but with him? He has one purpose. One. And now that it’s done, he’s useless, because I know you’ll never let me out again.”

“I would, if I knew you would behave.”

“Ha…ha…you think that I want to go back to that?” Black slowly shook his head. “No. No. If you ever let me out again, you better send an army of Fine Silvers, because I am never, ever coming back. I will not be this hunter again. I will [i]not[/i] let you use me to hurt people again and again.”

“Even the ones that deserve it?”

Black laughed, covering his head.

“Even the ones that deserve it? Oury, listen to that. You decided that Nigel deserved it, didn’t you?”

“…”

“Oh, yes, full of rage, full of anger and humiliation at the way that he snubbed your tests, how he looked down at you, how he saw you as nothing but a way to get rich. Oh, another person that needed to be punished, another asshole that needed to be put in his place. Someone that offended the great and mighty Oury. Someone that shoved you off that perch that Chris put you on.

“Oh, yes. I know about that. I know about everything that made you feel good, everything that made you feel horrible. You didn’t think he needed ‘punishing’. You felt he needed to be taught a lesson. And off I went. Another person to hurt. Another person to fuck over. Another person to break.

“You know? You know what? I should fucking thank you for that, because if it wasn’t for you sending me after Nigel, I never would have found this loophole. Do the job, but don’t finish it, and you can’t force me back. I even made you expose yourself for what you really were. Guilty.”

Black’s diatribe was the voice of a man on the edge, someone so close to embracing madness and falling into the darkness. It hurt Chris to hear it, particularly since he had been there, since he had been with Black for days now, and there was nothing that he had done to make that better.

He clenched his hand all the tighter around the figurine that he had carried with him, looking down at it. The different marks on it had similarities to what he had bought before it fell in the lake, but there were different touches to it. Little paintings, little carvings that were distinct enough to be something…new. Something different from the figure that he had bought. It was the same frame, but a different being.

Almost like Black was. Not visually different, but something had happened. He’d been damaged, Chris saw, damaged when he was finally pushed to punish someone that was different to the others, and had been made to see something else.

[i]Is it damage that lets us see what’s wrong with us?[/i] he wondered. [i]I mean, that’s the story way. We get hurt and we see the different cracks on the inside that we need to fix, but couldn’t there be another way?[/i]

Not if they were made the way that Black described, he realized. The figurines were made to enjoy one specific thing, and that meant that they were conditioned to keep doing that one thing, that one behavior over and over and over again. It would make change all but impossible for them, forcing them to keep doing the thing that they were told to do.

[i]Chrome gets pleasure out of caring for others, and justification for his existence. That means that he has to keep doing that, whether he consciously wants to or not. But Black…[/i]

Black was different. He’d been pushed to the breaking point, and he realized just how much he didn’t want to keep doing that thing. Chris had to admire that, in its own way. It was…it was something that would be hard to face. It would be like if he had to look at his writing and wonder if it was something that he just did out of habit, or if it was something that he really enjoyed and genuinely wanted to pursue. And he was a human being, made with free will to do what he liked. What must it be like if you had evidence that you didn’t have that free will?

The thought was enough to send shivers down his spine. He shook his head, distracting himself from that by looking at the display before him again.

Oury hadn’t responded just yet, but it was clear that the whale spirit was hurt by what had been said. Black was panting for breath, obviously wanting to say more but holding back. Whether that was out of blind rage or some other feeling, Chris didn’t know, but one thing was clear. Black had only somewhat emptied his verbal holster. He had more to say, more ammo to spit.

The whale spirit took a deep breath, then slowly let it out. Watery and ethereal, he seemed to grow as he did, as if his body was no more solid than the water around them. He shook his head slowly.

“You are right in one respect, Black.”

“And which respect is that?”

“You found a loophole. And I will have to close that.”

“Hmmph.”

“I will see to it that you do not face these temptations again.”

“You might as well lock me away forever then, Oury. If you do not, then I will find another.”

“So you say. For now…”

“For now, what? You’re going to shrink me away? Then do it. Just…do it. Stop letting me think about what I’m missing and just [i]do it![/i]”

He heard the hiccup in the snake’s voice, and he realized just how far down Black had gone, emotionally. The snake sounded like he was genuinely about to break down, like he was on the verge of crying.

Chris stood up. Without even thinking about it, he jogged over to Black and took his hand.

That simple act jolted the snake, and the black-scaled serpent whipped his head around. His eyes went wide, particularly as he looked past Chris to the other figurines in the rest of the workshop, then to Jane, and then back to Fine Silver in the corner. A hint of red showed in his cheeks.

“You heard nothing.”

“I heard everything,” Chris said. “And I’m sorry for…”

“You, of all people, have [i]nothing[/i] to be sorry for. [i]You[/i] didn’t hurt anyone.”

“But you left them all vulnerable, Black.” Oury shook his head. “For all that you raise points about me, and Fine Silver, you were the one that set this all in motion. Whatever change you might have begun, you are still made to hurt others. And you’ve proven it here. You came before me, and rather than take ownership of your actions, you decided to lay the blame entirely at my feet. All of this could have been avoided if you had just come when I called.”

“Could it?” Chris asked.

And then the eyes of the great whale turned to him. That stare was as intense as the magic around him, and he almost crumpled right there and then. He would have, were it not for Black gripping his hand in return…and then Chrome coming behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder…and Gold sliding in under his arm and propping him up.

He blushed as he had all that attention at once, but took it. They were giving him an almost literal soapbox with their bodies, and he was going to use it.

“Could it be avoided, really? What are you trying to say?” he asked.

“…If I had not given in to anger, then I wouldn’t have sent Black out, and if he had not met Nigel, then he would still be happy.”

“In other words, he would have been stupid.”

Black hissed softly. Chris shook his head.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. Ignorant.”

“I will…accept that.”

“What do you mean, human?” Oury asked.

“I mean that you aren’t saying that he would have been happy. You mean that he wouldn’t have figured out what he was. He would be ignorant of what he was, and you could keep using him. That’s not happy. That’s just…that’s just someone being uninformed. It’s like putting someone in an asylum and then saying it was their own fault for wanting more once they realized what was outside the walls. If the only reason that someone is happy is because they don’t know about the alternatives, then you aren’t giving them a good deal. You’re just cheating them by making them think you’re giving them the best offer.”

“…There is some truth in that, Chris. I will give you that. But Black is still a punisher. You heard the way that he spoke to me.”

“Did I lie?” Black asked.

“No. In all things, as ever, you tell the truth. But that does not mean that you are speaking with kindness, or that you have learned to be better than you were.”

“But he has changed.”

Oury slowly turned to Chris again, as did Black. He finally realized why Chrome had suggested that he bring the other figurine along, and he slowly lifted it up. Oury looked down at it, and Black? Black looked away, almost like he was ashamed.

“Do you remember this, Oury?” Chris asked.

“Yes, I do. This prompted our meeting, but I don’t remember it looking like this before. Have you been changing it?”

“No, I haven’t…but I think Black has.”

“…What?”

There was a sudden intake a breath there, not just from the whale spirit, but also from Gold, and even from Fine Silver. Jane didn’t, because she didn’t understand, and neither did Chrome, probably because he expected it. But the others? Yes. Fine Silver recovered first.

“Impossible. His only purpose is to break, to destroy.”

“Oury said that he hasn’t changed. I’d like him to see this…and then judge to see if he might be mistaken.”

Holding out the figurine, Chris waited until the whale finally took it. Oury stepped away, his back to them, while Black covered his face with embarrassment. Gold was the first to speak, leaning around Chris to whisper.

“You – you were the one doing that? I kept seeing it change, but – how? Why?”

“…I wanted to show…something different,” Black muttered.

“But you –”

“Our…companion…” Black sighed. “Chris. He gave me a place to stay, and I wished to show my…gratitude for that. And to repair something that had been broken. I saw the damage, but when I tried…I could almost see what it needed. I had to try. I had to.”

More than ever, Black was sounding like he was trying to justify his own existence as much as he was trying to justify what he had done to the figurine. He kept his head down, he talked in whispers, he was shaking – god, he was shaking – and he didn’t meet anyone in the eye.

[i]It’s the purpose he has,[/i] Chris thought. [i]He is challenging the very purpose of his existence. The opposite of it. For them, would that feel like challenging existence itself?[/i]

Chris didn’t quite know how to handle that. Well, that wasn’t true, not completely. He knew how he’d [i]write[/i] it, but that was an entirely different thing, something closer to just…well, scrawling stuff out and seeing what stuck. This would be dealing with a real person, trying to help someone that was already down the rabbit hole, trying to climb out of the pit. He couldn’t really just write it out and then go back and edit. He’d have to get it right first try, and that…

Well, that scared him. He didn’t want to make things worse for Black, particularly with how hard he was trying. All he could think to do was take the snake’s hand and squeeze.

Somehow, that seemed to help.

“It is definitely…improved,” Oury eventually said. “And Black…you did this?”

The snake slowly nodded. The whale shook his head.

“If I did not have the proof, I don’t know if I could believe it.”

“It’s proof,” Black muttered. “Proof that I have…something different to me.”

“Yes, very different, as a matter of fact…I…”

Oury shook his head, and Chris could guess what was going through his head. This whole thing had been almost like a trial, and for that, Black had been the defendant. This little piece of evidence, this revelation, took Black off the stand and put Oury’s own assumptions there, instead. There was no more ‘is he the same’ questions to be asked. That figurine made it clear that there was a huge difference to the snake. The question was now, what did one do with the evidence that the figurines could change?

Chris held his breath, waiting for judgment.

#

Oury looked down at the figurine again. Wood, simple wood, and nothing else, but the way that it felt in his hand was no different to how it felt when he was making something of his own. No magic, of course, for Black could not bring things to life the way that he could, but it was still an act of creation, an act of imagination and love. It was something that the serpent should never have found it himself to do.

And yet, he had. And that meant that every figurine had the same possibility within it.

Oury managed to keep his face neutral, something that he was beyond thankful for. The possibility of scaring Gold and Chrome again, of taking away the comfort that he’d offered them for their fear of changing for the worst, was too high. They were barely holding onto their sense of self as it was, and he would sooner hurt himself than hurt them. They had been too good for him over the years to let them be hurt now.

But this…this should have been impossible. Comfort had been easy to offer when he was half-sure that Black hadn’t changed, and the way that Black had flung pain at him as soon as they started talking had seemed to confirm that the snake was still the same, deep down.

[i]But this changes everything.[/i]

He had always made the figurines with purpose, giving them something that would focus their life. Making them with that purpose and building in a guaranteed source of joy had been his way of ensuring that they’d always have a way to be happy, that they’d need never worry about their path forward the way that mortals did. Simply giving them that at the outset, something simple that they could pursue as they liked, had seemed the best way to guarantee their happiness.

Now that he saw this, though, Oury thought of all the figurines that he had built, all the different people that he had created, and wondered if he had doomed more than Black to that feeling of utter despair. Too many had been focused on single-minded pursuits, too many given something without choice. How many had a hidden hate – or even dislike – of what their life had become? How many went through their assignments with only that forced joy, something that they pursued because they felt they had little choice?

[i]I made them so that they would like it…[/i] That’s what he had always told himself. But what if it was different? What if he just…made them like it?

Black might have been the odd-one-out, but he couldn’t rely on that being the case. He would need to bring them all out, check each and every one, and then see what the results were. If Black was the exception, that was fine, but…

He glanced at Fine Silver. This had been a disastrous first mission. Partially, he admitted, because he had not set down the rules properly, but also because he had hurried in the creation of Fine Silver, making him less well-rounded than the others. Black was correct; Fine Silver had the most specialized purpose of any of the figurines that he had made, and it meant that the hunter would be useless, unable to find happiness at all once Black was released and didn’t need to be hunted again.

[i]I failed you,[/i] he thought.

Surprisingly, the admission didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would, and he imagined that it was because he had already known it on some level. But now that he had admitted it, he could do something about it.

Slowly, he turned back to Chris and the figurines that he had given him. Gold and Chrome stood tall, proud, but slightly afraid. He slowly smiled.

“Black…you may return with Chris.”

#

The relief in the room was palpable with that announcement. Neither Chris nor any of the figurines dared breathe, staring at Oury with shock and awe. They shook their heads slowly, hardly daring believe what they had just heard.

“You may return. It is clear that you have found…something…that gives you happiness aside from your purpose. And…you are right. You deserve to find out more, to learn how to be happy, to change, if you so wish.

“Chrome, Gold. You will remain with Chris, as well. It would be…good for you,” Oury said.

“You sure?” Gold asked. “I mean, happy to do it – and god knows, he needs someone as fabulous as me – but are you sure?”

“Yes. If Black can change, then who am I to stand in the way of improvement?”

Chris could hear the regret there, the sadness that was in the whale’s voice. Something had changed, something big, and he didn’t quite know what it was. His story-guesses didn’t give him any insight this time, so he didn’t bother pursuing it.

Besides, Black was just about to break his hand from squeezing it so hard. Chris winced, wiggling his hand out of those scaly fingers and shaking his head.

“Well…it looks like that’s solved.”

“Yes,” Black said. “Just…one moment.”

The snake’s tail darted out, grabbing hold of the wooden figurine in Oury’s grip and taking it back. He hugged it tightly, almost like he was afraid of it being taken away again. Chris didn’t dare try and take it back, either. It seemed too important for him.

“Fine Silver will accompany you, of course.”

The global chorus that approximated to something like ‘fuck that’ echoed through the workshop, and Chris groaned. It looked like they were going to need to negotiate on that front, because Jane looked pissed, and Oury, surprisingly for someone made of water, looked as hard-set as stone. They were going to need to hash that out. He and the others, however, were going back to the surface.

#

Eventually, everything was sorted, and Jane and Fine Silver left the tunnel leading down to the workshop. Fine Silver obviously wasn’t happy, but then again, neither was Jane.

“So, uh, what happened?” Chris asked, holding his various friends under his arm.

“He’s going to come with us. Just in case the worst happens,” Jane said, rolling her eyes. “And he refuses to turn back.”

“I refuse to be at a disadvantage if Black turns again. I refuse to believe that he has not somehow fooled the Maker.”

Chris shook his head. Hoping that Fine Silver was going to change was probably futile, but it was better than resigning himself to this sort of behavior for the rest of the other man’s life. As the silver lion walked towards the car, harrumphing to himself, Jane shook her head as well.

“I can’t believe that I have to host that guy.”

“I can’t believe you’re going along with it,” Chris admitted. “What did you get out of it?”

“Another one.”

“…What?”

Jane flicked open a bag at her side, showing the orca that had been half-under construction when they’d first entered the workshop. He cocked his head to the side, then looked up at her.

“What’s this one?”

“From what he said? Something that will be very persuasive.”

“Ah…hoping to get the other tenants to be a little less…problematic?”

“Yes. No offense, Chris, but this has been hell. Someone sneaking in, a roommate when I [i]really[/i] didn’t want one, and you having three secret roommates from me? This wasn’t how I expected to run a building.”

“…Are you kicking me out?”

“No. Not yet, at least.” She sighed. “I’m not sure what I’m going to do, but you’ve got a while, at least. I’m still thinking it through.”

The idea of losing the apartment sent a sharp shock of terror through him. Of all the things that he thought would happen with this latest little disaster, losing his place to live hadn’t even been on the list. Sure, he imagined Jane being angry with him, but kicking him out? That wasn’t…that wasn’t…

She patted him on the arm.

“No final decisions yet. I just…I need some time to think. Sorry. I shouldn’t have dropped that bomb on you without thinking about it. Let’s just go.”

“Yeah…yeah, let’s do that.”

Trying not to think too much about the implications of what might happen to him in the future, he joined Jane in the car. Fine Silver sat in the back, pouting away as he stared straight ahead. Chris tried to focus his attention on the lion, but every time that he tried to puzzle out the story of that pout, he just felt worse and worse until he couldn’t focus.

[i]Finding another place to live…[/i]

Ever since moving into the low-income apartment, he had been focused more on writing than looking for anywhere else to live. It was supposed to be something that he’d look into once he got his big break, not now, not while he was still barely breaking even. And now that Fine Silver had to stick around, that meant that either Jane would be willing to keep him around for longer, or, she’d be happy to see him go because it meant Fine Silver would leave with him. Either way, he needed to start looking.

He didn’t need stress ulcers this early in life. He really didn’t.

[b][u][center]The End[/center][/u][/b]

Summary: Oury listens to Black’s defense, and then to the evidence that Chris and the others brought along, before making a decision.

Tags: No sex, human, magic, modern fantasy, series, snake, whale, spirit, change, philosophy, existentialism, various species,