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Princess Nira walked through the dungeon, deep inside the grand city-ship Cataclysm. Though she knew a prison inside an airship ought to be called a brig, she’d always preferred the term dungeon. A brig sounded far too sterile for her liking. A dungeon, meanwhile, sounded mysterious, and gloomy, even dangerous. A proper place for a monster to be chained, she thought. And a monster was exactly what she was going to see. As far as Nira was concerned, it was about time they got to put some of the dungeon’s special equipment to its intended use.

Over the years the exiled princess and her crew had sailed the skies beyond her former empire, most of the ship’s brig space had been turned into extra cargo hold. Boxes, crates, barrels, chests, and other containers littered the area around her. They filled cells to overflowing. They lined walls, lashed in place by heavy ropes, nets, and rigging. Given that they were few safe places to dock the ship for repair and resupply, they had to carry as many supplies of all kinds as possible. From dried and preserved foods to fuel, oil, coal, to every many of spare part imaginable. They lived like the fabled pirates of old, stealing whatever they needed to survive, and often much more than that.

Though much of the brig had been repurposed, a large section of remained prepared to house any dangerous prisoners the crew might take. And tonight, her ship’s prison held the most dangerous prisoner of all: a dragon. The great beast was kept at the back, away from the cargo, in what was essentially an immense cell designed specifically for his kind. Everything there was reinforced with steel, and lined with flame-resistant materials and oils. The cell was equipped with a variety of bindings, shackles, chains, pullies and more, all carefully constructed to keep a hostile dragon secure.

This was, however, the first time any of that had actually been used. Nira had to admit, she was excited to see how well it held up to an actual dragon’s wrath. Her crew had already bound the beast, but the Princess and her security officer remained outside. Now that the process was finished, and the dragon was no longer a threat, it was time for her to finally go and see her captive.

Nira’s breath caught in her throat when she laid eyes on the great beast. Even bound, a living dragon was a truly magnificent sight. The creature was massive, larger even than the gryphons who called her ship home. Ebony scales covered much of his powerful body. The flickering orange light of old lamps gave his scales an oily, inky sheen. Diamond shaped patterns of deep green edged in gold ran all down the dragon’s back. Long, curved spines tipped his tail, along with spiny webbing along its base. The dragon’s head was shaped like a great wedge, crowned with ridged horns and spiny frills. Eyes the same emerald shade as his markings followed her every moment.

The princess gulped, and a shiver racked her. There was something deeply unnerving about being glared at by a dragon, however immobilized he may be. At least the creature was secured by gear worthy of holding such a beast. Thick straps encircled his body, binding his vast wings against his back. Another crossed his shoulders, just before his wings, holding his chest down against the floor. Heavy shackles around the dragon’s wrists and ankles were chained to reinforced anchors in the floor. Another such shackle bound his tail.

Nira had to admit, there was something empowering about seeing such a legendary creature laid so low, and held so helpless. She imagined herself a queen in ancient times, ruler of a vast kingdom once terrorized by this great beast. After a lengthy campaign, waged by her bravest of soldiers, the monster who once conquered villages and fortresses alike was at last hers. Now, he lay before her, defeated, and with his life in her hands. Now, as her ancestors had done, Nira would offer him a choice: His loyalty in return for his life.

But first, it was her duty as ruler to punish the great beast for his many crimes. To that end, she-

“Alright!” Amelia, her top sharp shooter and the only other human aboard the ship, bolted into the room, wielding an immense, wooden paddle in each hand. “Let’s paddle some dragon ass!”

Nira sighed, turning towards her friend. “Really?” She waggled her fingers alongside her head. “You know, I had a whole ‘thing’ going on up here, that you just spoiled.”

“What, you having your whole, Queendom in ancient times fantasy again?” Amelia shoved the paddle into the Princess’s arms. “That’s played out, yanno. Now come on, let’s have some fun!”

Nira took the offered play-weapon, furrowing her brow. “But I had old oil lamps set up, and everything!”

“Yeah, real atmospheric.” Amelia rolled her eyes. “Great idea to have the black dragon bound up in the darkness, without any modern lightning.”

“Are you wenches about through gossiping?” The dragon lifted his head from the floor, flaring out his golden-edged frills. Despite his usual, brassy bravado, a hint of nervousness edged the dragon’s voice. “I haven’t got all night, you know!”

“The hell you don’t,” Nira said, approaching him. “You made the agreement. We’ve got you as long as we want you!”

“Yes, well.” The dragon tugged at a shackle, rattling the chain. “Hurry up and get it over with. I’ve got better things to be doing.”

Amelia loudly smacked her paddle against her palm a few times, instantly drawing the dragon’s attention. “Oh, no, lizard. We’re gonna take our time with this. Besides, what else would you be doing right now besides having fun with us?”

The dragon growled at her, shaking the rest of his chains and bindings. “There are plenty of better things I could be doing! Such as eating, drinking, perhaps a nap before bed!” The beast’s eyes fixed themselves on Amelia’s paddle, and he swallowed. “That is…larger than I expected.” Apprehension glittered in his emerald eyes, then he quickly snapped his jaws as if to cover it up. “Not that it will make a difference! I shall scarcely feel it, just the same.”

Nira smiled to herself. The dragon, named Malaresh, was more nervous than she expected. That was good. He must have already been wondering just what he’d gotten himself into when he made his agreement…

*****

Earlier that night, Nira, Amelia, and Malaresh had all spent the evening drinking together. Nira and Amelia sat at a table, at the common area tavern in the lower decks, where the beasts went to relax and drink. Goblets and wine bottles littered the table, some already empty. Malaresh rested on his haunches alongside the women, guzzling down the last of a full keg of ale. The dragon was still relatively new to the ship, only coming aboard after Nira and her people had saved his life.

Malaresh insisted he was joining with her crew in order to pay off his life debt, though Nira was never quite sure how truthful he was being. As far as she could tell, he also had designs on making the ship his, someday. For now, he was a valuable, and powerful, ally. He’d certainly made himself at home. Malaresh had already claimed an empty cargo bay as his new lair, and helped himself to all the ale, wine, and liquor available. Despite his rather crude, abrasive, and egotistic nature, the dragon proved himself surprisingly social. Especially when alcohol was involved, as it was now.

“I’m telling you, Dragon,” Nira said, swirling her wine around in its golden goblet. Normally she avoided fanciful items evocative of her royal statue, but while drinking with a dragon, it seemed appropriate. “This ship’s dungeon was built to hold even dragons!”

“I find that very unlikely.” The dragon lifted his head from his ale cask, licking foam from his ebony muzzle. “Further more, how can a ship have a dungeon? A dungeon is, by its very nature, underground.”

Amelia took a drink of her own wine, then waved her vessel at the Princess. “I keep telling her, it’s a damn brig, not a dungeon. But Princess her likes to fancy herself an old-fashioned sort of royal, ruling from a castle and all that. Yanno, before there were airships and cannons. And back when her people…” She trailed off, glancing at Nira. “Sorry.”

Nira waved her off. Nira’s people had long since lost their empire, but she wasn’t in the mood to dwell on old sorrows. “Think nothing of it. We’re here to drink, and have fun, not to-”

“Ah!” The dragon slapped a forepaw down. “You mean the days in which I held my barony? Yes, those were better days, when dragons ruled the skies, and the cowering humans were forced to beg us for alliances to prop up their pitiful monarchies.”

“That’s not even close to…” Nira laughed, and drained her wine. She set her mug down, pouring more. “You know what? It doesn’t matter. The point is, this ship’s prison can hold dragons! Hell, it’s even got restraints designed to keep one secure.”

Malaresh cocked his wedge shaped head. “I thought you claimed this ship was meant to house dragons?”

“Well, it is, but-“

“To fight all the battles the rest of you are too weak to fight!” Malaresh flared a wing, flourishing it. “To secure your victories, and to command all that legion of gryphons you were supposed to have.”

“We have gryphons!” Amelia slammed her goblet down. “You’ve met them! Hell, I was riding one when we saved your sorry ass from those Union lunatics.”

Malaresh held up a forepaw, three claws unsheathed. “A thrice-count of oversized birds hardly counts as a legion.”

“Start of a legion, anyway.” Amelia folded her arms, glaring at the dragon. “Hell, between one dragon and four gryphons, we’ve practically got our own air force, now.”

Malaresh put his paw to his scaled chest. “I am an air force onto myself. I do not need help from any fluffbird. However, I will accept them as my cushions. You may send them to my lair at your leisure.”

Nira sipped her wine, watching the dragon carefully. She could quite tell where he drew the line between sarcasm and seriousness. “Did you want a real answer to your question, or did you just want to belittle my crew?”

“Both.” The dragon curled his tail, then lowered his head to his keg. “But you may proceed.”

“The ship is meant to house dragons. And gryphons, and a whole host of other peoples and creatures.” Nira took another set, then set her goblet down. “It was also meant to house the royal family, to be mobile army unto itself, to wage wars or keep the Imperial Court safe. But…” She trailed off, staring into her wine. For a moment the red liquid may as well have been blood. “But…the Golden Union…”

Malaresh glanced her way. “Conquered your empire, slew your kin, and drove you onto this ship. Correct?”

“Hey, asshole!” Amelia shot to her feet, whirling on the dragon. “You’re not supposed to just blurt it all out like that! You might be ten times my size, and I may not have my guns, but you better learn to respect the Princess real damn fast! Otherwise, we’re gonna have a problem.”

The dragon cocked his head. “I am far more than ten times your size. But keep insulting me, little human, and I shall toss you across the room. Twice.”

Amelia spread her arms. “Bring it on, lizard! I’ll smash that bottle across your snout, and then I’ll kick you square in the balls!” She smirked at him, taking a step forward, waggling her hard-toed boot. “Twice.”

Malaresh only snorted and went back to his ale. He took a long drink, then lifted his head and licked his muzzle clean again. “I like this one.” He waved a paw at Amelia. “She’s spirited. Foolhardly, but spirited.”

“Why don’t you kiss my spirited ass, Dragon?” Amelia continued to glare at him.

“Or,” Malaresh said, giving his wings a casual shrug. “And hear me out in this. Instead, why don’t you suck my majestic cock?”

Nira burst out laughing. Maybe it was the wine, but hearing something so crude come out of a dragon’s muzzle caught her completely off guard, and left her cackling like a madwoman. “Suck your what?” She shook her head, waving off any reply, and then wiped a little tear from her eye. “Oh, Dragon, you’re going to fit in very well here.”

A smile tugged at the corners of Amelia’s mouth, as well. “He really is. Though, I sincerely doubt there’s anything the least bit majestic about it.”

“Better than whatever floppy appendage your males may sport.” He turned his gaze back to the princess, head tilted to the side. “Did I misspeak about your history?”

“No, you’re right about what happened. People just don’t…” Nira worked her goblet between her hands. “Bring it up, usually.” She sighed, took a long drink of wine, and wiped her mouth. “Forget it. As I was saying, while the ship was meant to house dragons, the shipbuilders also had to consider that some of them may prove dangerous, or that we may have to deal with enemy dragons. So they built a place to hold them safely, or even to secure them for say, meting out punishments for dragon crew members, or interrogate captured enemy dragons.”

“Oooh.” Amelia rubbed her hands together. “Punishing a dragon? Now that sounds fun. Interrogation, too!”

Malaresh gave a loud, derisive snort. “I’d like to see you two try punishing a dragon, let alone interrogating him. Assuming your gear can even hold him…” He held up his forepaws. “Which I sincerely doubt.” He set one paw back down, waving the other. “I don’t think there’s anything you could do to punish a dragon that would even make him yelp, much less make him yowl for mercy.” He snorted again, then licked his nose. “Short of weaponry that causes grievous wounds, of course.”

Amelia snatched her goblet off the table. “Bet the Princess and I could make you yowl.”

“Could not.” Malaresh tossed his head.

“The hell we couldn’t.” Nira leaned towards the dragon. “You care to take that bet, Dragon?”

The dragon pushed himself up straighter, flaring his wings out at his sides. “Certainly. What are the terms, and what is to be wagered?”

“The terms?” Nira tapped a finger against the table in thought, then beamed when an idea came to her. “Well, you don’t believe the ship could actually hold you, right? So, you let us bind you up in all the dragon prisoner gear, and then we get to punish you. If you get free, or we give up before you admit defeat, you win. If you can’t get free, we get to do as we wish with you, for as long as we want. You admit defeat, you lose. If we make you beg for mercy, you lose. Squeal like a little girl and ask us to stop, pass out, or otherwise end up unable to continue, we win! Sound fair?”

“Sounds like an easy victory.” The dragon rumbled his amusement, stretching his forelegs out in front of himself. “What would be wagered?”

“Pride.” Amelia spoke before the princess could reply. “Your pride, versus our pride. You win, you get the ego trip and the draconic pride of knowing you were right, and a couple of half-drunk human woman couldn’t make you squeal.” She thumped her thumb against her chest. “We win? We get the pride of knowing we can make a bound up dragon yowl for mercy.”

Nira remained quiet, watching the dragon. He arched his neck in subtle, but telling gesture. Pride was very important to dragons, and she knew Amelia was right to invoke it. Plus, it wasn’t as if they had many material things they could afford to give the dragon. He already had a living space, free access to alcohol, and the remnants of his hoard. The ship had a treasury, but they sure as hell couldn’t afford to give that over to him.

“Very well,” Malaresh said, his voice a silken purr. “Your terms are accepted. And when I win, I do not expect to ever let you live it down.”

“Agreed.” Nira split the last of the wine bottle between her cup, and Amelia’s. “So, we doing this tonight, or what?”

“Damn right we are.” Amelia took the goblet when it was full. “We’ll get the birds and some other crew to help bind up the lizard, here, make it real official, then you and I will go pay him a visit.” She took a slow sip of wine. “And put him in his place.”

A wicked smile crept across the dragon’s muzzle. “And how, human, do you plan to do that?”

“With a paddle,” Amelia said, casual as could be.

The dragon laughed, deep, growling laughter. “A paddle? That’s your weapon of choice?”

Amelia glanced at the Princess. “Two paddles, actually, assuming the Princess wants one too.”

“Damn right I do!” Nira gave an incredulous laugh, shaking her head. “Though, if I hadn’t been drinking wine all night, I’d probably be a lot more concerned about why you have access to multiple paddles.”

“Not important.” Amelia emptied her goblet, and set it upon the table. “What is important is getting this big, scaly bastard all bound up. So!” She clapped her hands together. “Let’s get going, shall we?”

“Absolutely.” Nira finished her wine as well. “This is going to be fun.”

*****

Malaresh was patient while the ship’s crew, with assistance from its resident gryphons, slowly locked him into an assortment of sturdy shackles, thick chains, and heavy straps. He had to admit, both the cell, and it’s binding equipment were far more impressive than he expected. The shackling gear in particular seemed very well thought out. They kept his legs spread to prevent him from easily getting his footing, or gaining leverage against any particular link. Care had been taken to prevent the various manacles from biting into his scales. They were padded on the inside, as was every other surface pressing against his scaly body. Even the binders they’d placed around his wings were strong enough to keep them at his sides, but not so tight as to bring him any discomfort.

Granted, were he a real prisoner, he was certain things would be locked down more tightly. He was also certain that the unused anchor points on the floor were likely to chain down his neck and head, to prevent him from blasting fire at his captors. Despite that, he still found himself in an awkward position. While his chest was locked down against the floor, his hind end was in quite the opposite position. The cuffs around his tail were attached to a chain and pulley system, and his tail had been hoisted up high enough to lift his hind end with it. The result left his haunches raised to an embarrassing degree, his parted back legs nearly in a standing position.

The position prompted a number of crude remarks from the ship’s three gryphons, as well as the teasing touch of gryphon paws in places both threatening and tantalizing. Soon enough, the birds and the rest of the crew left the dragon to await the humans and their paddles. At first, Malaresh was not the least bit nervous about this game. If anything, he half-expected to have freed himself by the time they arrived.

The dragon tugged at his shackles, wriggled against his bindings. His rather humiliating position left it nearly impossible for him to put enough stress on any particular chain or strap to break it. He snarled in effort, pushing himself against them harder, pulling his tail down against the pulley. Chains rattled, leather creaked, and the immense pulley squeaked a few times, but nothing actually came loose. If he truly put his all into it, he might be able to break something free, and go from there. But the dragon knew he might also injure himself in the process. His wings were particularly fragile compared to the rest of him, after all. And he wasn’t even locked up as completely as a real enemy of the ship would be. To his great dismay, it was all too clear that the princess was right.

The damn prison would hold a dragon.

After that, all he could do was wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Where were those damn women?

Had they opened another bottle of wine?

Were they making him wait on purpose?

The longer it went on, the more the tiny spark of nervousness deep in the dragon’s belly grew into a nodding fear. Surely, it wouldn’t hurt that bad to be struck with a paddle, would it? It was…just a paddle, and they were…just humans. Malaresh was certainly his scales and thick hide would protect him from whatever feeble sting the women could muster, even with their paddles. And yet….how many blows would they give him? The scales across his rump were not exactly his sturdiest and most protective. And with his haunches raised up and his tail held aloft that way, the dragon was all too aware of just what other parts of him were all-too-exposed right now.

But…surely, they wouldn’t strike those!

Would they?

No, he told himself, Nira was a princess, and human royals were above such indignities. Then again, she was already deigning to paddle a dragon. How much further a stretch was it for her to drop her paddle a little low, in hopes of really making him yowl?

Malaresh ground his teeth, determined to win this game, whatever it took. He was a dragon, damn it! He could take whatever a couple of upstart human girls could dish out, no matter what they did. And yet, by the time they finally arrived, the dragon could not help but wonder just what he’d gotten himself into this time. Malaresh steeled himself, filled with fresh resolve. He would win this game, damn it.

He just hoped he hadn’t gotten in over his head.

*****

Nira hefted the paddle Amelia had just handed her, examining it. Wherever the hell Amelia got it, it was certainly an impressive implement. It was dark wood, rectangular in shape, and sanded perfectly smooth. Soft leather wrapped the handle. It was also heavier than she expected, though it’s heft was satisfying. She swung it in the air a few times in front of the dragon’s face, grinning.

“Oh yeah.” She swung it again. “This will do nicely.”

Malaresh shifted his gaze to Nira’s paddle, his eyes nearly crossing above his muzzle as he stared at it. “That is not a paddle! That’s a damn warhammer!”

Nira made a show of smacking it sharply against her palm. The impact left her hand stinging, but she refused to let the pain show on her face. “What’s the matter dragon? Getting all nervous, now? You can still concede, if you want.”

“Oh, please, woman!” The dragon tossed his head, rattling a few chains. “I am not the least bit afraid of your wooden toy. I was just surprised by the size of it. Now.” He shook a foreleg against its manacles, as if to draw attention elsewhere. “You’ll be interested to know that while you maidens were busy gossiping, I decided not to break myself free. Consider it a gesture of goodwill towards your ship, as I imagine this equipment would be quite difficult to replace.” He snorted. “You’re welcome.”

“In other words,” Amelia said, rolling her eyes. “He couldn’t escape, just like we told him.”

“We did try to tell him it would hold a dragon,” Nira said. “Now.” She pointed the paddle towards the dragon’s hind end. “Shall we go see what we’ve got to work with?” Then she tried to spin the paddle around her hand, only to lose her grip on the handle. It flew from her grasp, and smacked the dragon right between the nostrils. “Oops!”

“OW!” Malaresh yanked his head back, scrunching his muzzle. The dragon blinked a few times, emerald eyes watering. “That…that doesn’t count as yelping!”

“Nice one, Your Highness.” Amelia added sarcastic emphasis to the Princess’s title as she fetched the paddle, and handed it back to her. She walked to the dragon’s shoulder, then paused, and made a formal, sweeping gesture with her hand. “After you.”

“Thank you, Amelia.” Nira gave the other woman a playful bow, and then walked along the dragon’s side towards his rump.

Only when she stood behind the dragon did Nira realize just how hilariously exposed the dragon was. Though his chest lay upon the ground, his hind end was hoisted up so high by his shackled tail it left him nearly on his tip toes. The dragon’s tail itself was in turn lifted up and partway over his body. Malaresh’s back legs were spread as wide as the dragon’s anatomy would safely allow, leaving what lay between them wide open. Nira grinned to herself at the sight, wondering if the dragon realized just how exposed he really was. She decided against pointing it out.

Amelia, however, had no such self control. She erupted into bawdy laughter as soon as she came around behind the dragon, and nudged Nira with her eblow. “Hey Princess!” She waved her paddle at the dragon’s testicles, like fat goose eggs in a black pouch. “Check out the nuts on that thing!”

“Yeah, I noticed,” Nira said, unable to hold back her own giggles any longer. “They’re rather hard to miss in that position.”

“Cease your maidenly snickering!” The dragon snarled, pulling against his chains as if to cover himself. His struggles were futile, however, and accomplished little more than causing the objects of discussion to jiggle comically between his hind legs. “I am not a ‘thing’, nor some beast at market to be ogled and discussed!”

That only made Amelia laugh even harder. “Look at those suckers bobble!”

Malaresh heaved a sigh, twisting his long neck around to glare at the women. “Oh, very well, you may as well continue admiring them. After all, dragons are the most impressive creatures in all the world, testicles included.”

“Admire them?” Nira quirked a brow. “Hardly what we’re doing, dragon.”

Amelia lowered her voice, leaning towards the princess. “I can think of something else I’d rather do to them.” She mimed swinging her paddle up between the dragon’s hind legs.

Nira bit her lip to quell a secret giggle. “Oh, gods, he’d be so mad. But speaking of.” She hefted her paddle again, stepping towards the dragon. “Shall we try this out?”

“Yes,” Malaresh said, tossing his head. “Let’s get this over with. The sooner you can admit your efforts are for naught, the sooner I can get out of these damnable chains. So, are you going to-OW!”

It was at that moment that Nira stepped forward and swung her paddle against the dragon’s rump with all her might. It hit with a resounding thwack, the impact enough to make the beast jump against his chains. It rattled the paddle a little in her hands.

“That was a yelp!” Amelia pointed at the dragon’s face with her free hand. “That was a yelp, we win!”

“Yelling ‘ow’ does not count.” Malaresh shook himself, chains rattling. “For one, you startled me. For two, yes, it mildly stings, but I’d hardly call that punishment. If that’s all you’ve got, perhaps I shall take a nap until you’re finished.”

Amelia grunted, gripping the handle of her paddle in both hands. “I’d like to see you try, I’m gonna knock the scales off your ass with this one!” She took a few steps back, then surged forward and lashed out, her momentum curried into her swing. Wood struck scales with a sharp crack, jarring her arms. This time, Malaresh only grunted, his face scrunching, ears flat. His body jerked a little, but less so than before.

The dragon glanced over his back, his voice flat. “Ow. Oh, the pain. How will I ever handle this horrible pain?” He wriggled his haunches, best he could manage. “Give me another one, maybe I’ll start to notice it.”

“Damn it,” Amelia said, drumming fingers against the handle. “This is easier with a gryphon.”

Nira quirked her brows, but decided to wait till later to ask what that meant. Instead, she put her hand against the back of the dragon’s haunch, feeling the scales. They were warm, and smooth, and more than enough to smooth off the sharp sting. “It’s all the scales.”

“Yes,” Malaresh said, amusement tinging his voice. “It is! I told you, your little human implements wouldn’t be enough.”

“Nah, they’re plenty!” Amelia hauled back, and swung her paddle again, striking the area just between the dragon’s hind legs, closer to his tail. This time his grunt was louder, and he sucked in a breath through sharp teeth afterwards. “We just gotta keep at it till we soften up those damn scales! Or choose our targets carefully.”

Nira lowered her voice to whisper to her friend. “Funny you should mention targets, plural.” She stretched her arm so her paddle was hovering just beneath the dragon’s testes. “Cause every time we whack him, I can’t help but notice these things bobbling around. They’re practically daring us to aim lower…”

Amelia’s eyes lit up, mischief filling her own whispered voice. “Do it!”

Nira glanced between her friend and her potential targets. “I told you before, he’d get really pissed off.”

“So?” Amelia leaned up against the dragon’s haunch as if he were a piece of furniture. He grunted and wriggled a little, but did not dislodge her. “What’s he gonna do, shake them at us? You know he’s got it coming.”

“He really does…” Nira hefted her paddle, considering. “You really think I should?”

“Yes!” Amelia moved away again, her voice soft but exited. “You said they were daring you, right? Well, now I’m daring you! Whack the dragon in the balls, princess, I dare you!”

“What are you wenches gossiping about back there?” The dragon turned his head again, glaring at them over his bound wings. “Are you going to admit you women can’t hurt a dragon, or-AAAAAAAAH!”

Once more, Princess Nira cut Malaresh off with a swing of her paddle. And this time, she aimed it right for the dragon’s testicles. Smack! They bounced from the impact, earning a sharp cry from the dragon. Malaresh’s eyes popped out, like great emerald marbles threatening to jump from his skull and roll down his muzzle. His ears flattened and his spiny frills flared out, golden eyes on his display. Soon, his toothy maw hung wide open, as if the beast was in complete disbelief a human would dare strike him in such a place.

“Bahahaha!” Amelia laughed so hard she stumbled back, pointing her puzzle at the dragon’s expression. “His face! Look at his face!”

Malaresh gave a long, low groan, his eyes partly rolling back. His tongue lolled out from his gaping muzzle, and he squirmed against his bonds, chains rattling and straps creaking. The dragon made a few odd sounds, half cough and half yelp, almost as though it was taking him a few moments to process what just happened. Finally, he gave a low groan, flexing against his captivity. “Ooooooooooh! Oooh, my eggs! You got me in the damn eggs, woman!”

“The eggs?” That made Nira laugh just as hard as the dragon’s expression. “That’s what you dragons call them?”

“We call them a lot of things!” The dragon continued to squirm, his whole face scrunching up. “Gods! Awww! You got them both, too!”

Nira spun her paddle around her hand, beaming. “Whoops.”

“Hey, Princess.” Amelia returned to standing next to Nira, grinning. “You know what I heard, a moment ago?”

Nira already knew where she was going with this, but played along just the same. “What was that, Amelia?”

“A squeal!” Amelia smacked her paddle against her hand. “A really loud squeal.”

“That doesn’t count!” The dragon took a few deep, steadying breaths. “The balls are off limits!”

“The hell they are!” Amelia stomped her booted foot for emphasis. “We made it clear, no dangerous weapons, no grievous injuries, but that’s it. You never even mentioned your balls when were setting ground rules.” She lifted her paddle till the dragon’s testicles were resting against it. “So these things are fair game. And if the Princess gets to hit them, I wanna hit them too! Not gonna get many chances to whack a dragon in the nuts.” She glanced at Nira for confirmation. “I do get another turn, right?”

Nira flashed her a smile. “Of course! It’s only fair. Unless, of course…” She glanced towards the dragon. “Malaresh wants to admit here and now that we’ve already won.”

“You haven’t won shit!” The dragon twisted against his bindings, trying to lower his tail. The pulley creaked, but he couldn’t force his tail down anywhere near far enough to cover his vulnerable parts. “But going for the balls is cheating!”

“No it isn’t!” Amelia tapped the dragon’s testes with the smooth wood, jostling them. “If you were a real prisoner we were interrogating, how do you think we’d make you talk? Tickle your paws?”

“She’s right, dragon.” The Princess rested her implement over her shoulder. “If anything, this is a more realistic test. So go on, Amelia.” She waved her free hand on Malaresh’s hind end. “Continue the interrogation.”

“No!” Malaresh said, struggling helplessly. “This is not the game I agreed too! Cease interrogation, cease interrogation!”

Amelia however, did no such thing. Instead she drew her back her paddle, and with a peal of cackling laughter, let it fly for the dragon’s scrotum. His ebon pouch bounced to the side, his whole body jerked against the chains, and once again he let out a sharp cry. For a few moments, he thrashed against his chains, cross-eyed and squealing against grit teeth. When his wriggling died down, his yowl died into a guttural moan.

“Awwww, my left ball!” The dragon hung limp, panting. “Awwwwhhh!”

“Just the left one?” Amelia scowled. “Damn it!” She glanced at the Princess. “Guess you’re better at this than I am.”

Nira giggled and put her hand on the other woman’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. You know what they say. Practice makes perfect!”

Malaresh jerked his head up. “It most certainly does not!”

The Princess ignored the dragon’s protests, gesturing with her free hand. “I think your aim was just sort of, off to the side. You knocked the silly things towards me, when you should have knocked them more…towards his head, if that makes sense.”

“Nah, makes perfect sense.” Amelia stepped back out of the way. “Your turn, though.”

“Thank you, Amelia.” Nira patted the dragon’s scaly thigh, just alongside their current targets. “Malaresh, do you think if I get the other one, it’ll even things up and you’ll feel better?”

“Of course not!” The dragon jerked himself back and forth a few times, but remained unable to break free. “That isn’t how it works!”

Amelia shrugged. “Only one way to find out, if you ask me. Think you can get just the right one?”

Nira laughed, sizing up her aim with a few mock swings of her paddle. “I bet so, yeah.”

Amelia stuck her tongue. “Bet you can’t!”

The Princess paused. “What do I win if I do?”

“Me, in your bed, after we’re done here?” Amelia tilted her head, a different sort of smile playing across her face. “Doing your royal bidding?”

Nira made a show of glancing at the paddle. Amelia’s eyes widened, but she didn’t protest the playful suggestion. Rather than reply, Nira pivoted smoothly towards Malaresh’s hind end, swinging her paddle in the same motion. It smacked soundly against the dragon’s right testicle, leaving their pouch bobbling to and fro like a snug, ebony pendulum. Malaresh yowled anew, wide-eyed and arching his back hard enough to strain against all his shackles, straps and chains.

“AWWWWWH! GODS!” The dragon squirmed as frantically as his bindings would allow, shaking everything. “That was the right one, that time!” He took a few swift, deep breath, blowing them back out harshly. “That definitely did not make it better!”

“Oh, no?” Nira tilted her head as if considering her findings. “How interesting! Amelia, do make a note of that.”

Amelia pretended to scribble something in the air. “So noted, your highness. At least they’re aching evenly now!”

“That they are!” Nira watched the dragon wriggle for a moment, giggling at the odd little groaning noises the beast made. “Or, so I’d assume. Haven’t got them, after all.”

“Nor I,” Amelia said. “Perhaps we should ask him.” She lifted her voice, calling out to Malaresh. “Dragon! Are your testicles aching evenly, now? Science is asking.”

“Science can get fucked!” Malaresh took another few deep breaths, blinking back tears.

“What a terrible thing to say about science. We’d better reprimand him.” Amelia took up position near the dragon’s haunches “I believe it’s my turn?”

“It certainly is.” Nira moved up behind Amelia, gently pressing herself up against the other woman. “Here…” She guided Nira’s arms in a slow-motion blow, bumping the paddle up against the back of the dragon’s balls. “Right…there. That’ll get both of them.”

“Thank you, Your Highness.” Amelia smiled, turning her head to nuzzle at Nira’s neck.

“You’re welcome.” Nira pulled back to give her room, letting her fingers trail tantalizingly over the other woman. “I shall hold you to that bet, later.”

“You’re damn well better.”

“Whatever manner of illicit pleasure you two are planning back there, you’d better also be planning to allow me to observe it!” The dragon snarled, though it soon turned into a pained groan. “I’ve earned it, after what you’re putting me through!”

Amelia replied with her paddle, smacking it squarely against the back of the dragon’s plums. Malaresh gave his loudest yowl yet, a howl that was almost lupine in nature. Once again, the dragon’s eyes bugged out, and this time one of them went cross even as the other rolled halfway back. He wriggled against his bindings like a worm in bright sunlight. Malaresh strained his forelegs against his shackles and his tail against the chains and pulleys, but just as before could neither break free nor cover himself. Finally he dropped his head down with a guttural groan, maw half-parted.

“Awwwwww, my balls…” He took a few slow breaths, wings shaking in their restraints. “My aching balls! You two are…” Malaresh coughed, and then groaned again. “Stronger than you look.”

Both women laughed, with the Princess slapping Amelia’s outstretched hand in approval. “Nice shot! I’d say you definitely got them both, that time.”

Malaresh shook his hind end, grunting as he struggled to maintain composure. “Got them both? She damn near made them switch sides!”

“Hah!” Amelia punched Nira on the shoulder, beaming. “You hear that? I rearranged ‘em!”

Nira winced and rubbed her arm. “I don’t think they can actually do that.”

“Only one way to find out, right?” Amelia spun her paddle around her hand.

“Suppose that’s true!” The Princess lifted her own implement, and gave the dragon’s haunches a sharp whack with it, earning a loud grunt. “Unless old lizard-sack here wants to admit he’s lost the bet.”

Malaresh only growled, lifting his head again to shoot both women a murderous glare. “You haven’t broken me yet, woman!”

“Broken you, hmm?” Nira dragged her paddle down the dragon’s rump until it was bumping the creature’s balls again. “I’m not sure that’s exactly the word choice you wanted.”

“What?” Malaresh flared up his spiny, golden edged frills. “That’s not what I meant!”

Amelia lifted her paddle up to meet Nira’s, the dragon’s jewels between them. “He did say, ‘yet’, didn’t he?”

“Not funny!” Malaresh wriggled from side to side. The metal of his shackles flexed a little, but nothing more. “We were quite clear about grievous injuries!”

“Oh, relax, they’re fine.” The Princess took a moment to inspect her targets up close. Neither their ebony pouch nor the fat goose-eggs within it looked any worse for the wear. “They might be tender, but I’d say they’re as sturdy as the rest of you, dragon.”

“They do look kinda funny trapped between our paddles, though.” Amelia worked hers back and forth, leaving the dragon’s balls shifting back and forth between smooth, wooden captivity. Nira did the same, rolling the captive eggs around. When Malaresh shuddered, both women paused, and Amelia lifted her brows whilst lowering her voice. “I think if we keep doing that, we’re gonna have a different sort of effect on him.”

Nira laughed, dropping her paddle away to let the dragon’s balls fall back into position. “Wonder how he’d like having that whacked with a paddle.”

Amelia tapped her paddle against the dragon’s balls a few times, earning a series of nervous squeaks from the helpless beast. “Probably not with the effort needed to coax it out. These things really get his attention, and they’re already right here in front of us.”

“True enough.” The Princess reached out and gave the dragon’s sack a slap with her hand. They bounced around, and Amelia quickly slapped them back in the other direction. “Ooh, look at that! It’s like ping pong!”

“Or one of those party toys they hang from the ceiling!”

Malaresh jerked his head around to glare at both women. “Who said you could use your hands? It’s bad enough your paddles have strayed from my ass!”

Amelia glanced at the princess. “There’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear, again.”

Nira blinked at her. “Wait, again? You’ve heard that sentence before?”

The dragon snapped his jaws. “Enough with your jests and jibes! The rules clearly stated your weapon of choice would be paddles. Not your hands, or your boots, or any other implements! So I shall not accept you slapping them around like-”

“We never said we couldn’t use our hands. But if you want more paddling…” Nira hoisted up her paddle like a warrior preparing for battle. “Ping pong?”

“What?” Malaresh stared back at them, his eyes darting back and forth between the women. “That’s not what I meant!”

Amelia, of course, ignored him. “Ping pong. Serving!”

The woman swung her paddle for the dragon’s nuts, knocking them both sideways. Malaresh cried out, jerking against his bindings. Nira lashed out next, smacking Malaresh’s balls right back the other way. After that, both women took turns slapping the dragon’s testicles around with their paddles, laughing like mad all the while. They volleyed them back and forth a couple of times each; a perverse party favor bobbling hind legs and paddles alike.

With the swift, repeated impacts, the dragon’s eyes crossed so hard it looked as if the beast was trying to see his own brain. His maw gaped open in such a way it looked as if he was forming a great ‘O’ with his muzzle, an expression Nira would have otherwise thought impossible for a dragon.

Malaresh’s squeals and yowls turned into sharper, clipped cries. “AH! AAH! AWH!” Each abbreviated yelp was higher pitched than the last. And each came with another jerking motion of his hind end, a desperate but futile attempt at pulling his most vulnerable parts out of reach. All he really managed to do was look as if he wiggling about and shaking his rump to the beat of some pulsing song. “AWWH! OOOH! AAEEEH!”

Nira finally took one, last, powerful blow, swinging her paddle up from below into the bottom of the dragon’s testicles. THWACK! Malaresh threw his head back with a long, squealing howl. The sound was so high pitched that Nira could scarcely believe it came from a dragon. It was almost operatic. A dramatic, full-body flopping accompanied it, like a fish tossed upon a bank. If not for all the chains holding him mostly in place, Nira imagined the dragon would have been clutching himself in both forepaws, and rolling back and forth upon the floor.

The women laughed, and Nira tossed her paddle down behind the writhing dragon after his howls melted into groans. “Ooh, gods, that has to be the winning blow!”

“I didn’t even know dragons could make sounds like that!”

“Ooooooooooh!” Malaresh groaned, dropping his head back down. “Ooooooh, my balls, my baaaaalls!”

“Yeah, your balls, we know!” Nira struggled to catch her breath. Between laughter and exertion, she’d nearly worn herself out. Her arms ached. “Gods damn it, but that’s a pretty good work out!”

Amelia leaned up against the dragon’s haunches. “Yeah, and it’s fun as all hell, too! We should do this more often!”

“No!” Malaresh’s voice was oddly squeaky now, hoarse and crackling as if he had something caught in his throat. “No! Enough, enough! I yield!”

“What was that?” Nira idly swatted the back of the dragon’s sack. “I couldn’t hear you over all those little squeals you were making!” She swatted his balls a few more times for good measure. “You’re going to have to speak up!”

“OW!” Malaresh struggled again, his voice cracking. “I said I yield! I yield! Mercy, woman, my balls demand mercy!”

“Well, if your balls demand it.” Nira patted them, then turned towards Amelia, beaming. “I’d say we’ve won!”

“Damn right we did!” Amelia swatted her hand against the dragon’s ass for emphasis. “That was easy, too!”

“Yes, yes, the wenches have won!” The dragon tossed his head, snarling. “Now how about you cheaters let me down so I can rub my poor balls.”

“Well, if that’s your attitude, I think we’ll leave you here a little while.” Nira smirked, holding her arm out towards Amelia. “I believe you owe me some royal bidding?”

“That I do!” Amelia hooked her arm through Nira’s. “Don’t worry, dragon, I’ll tell the gryphons to come let you out when I’m done with the Princess, here. Though…I can’t promise they won’t want to have a little fun with you, too.”

“What? No! Let me down immediately!”

Nira only laughed, turning away from the dragon. “Don’t worry, the gryphons will be gentle with you! Probably. See you in the tavern again tomorrow night?”

The dragon heaved a long, weary sigh. “…Oh, very well. I’m going to have to drink until I forget this night ever happened, anyway.”

Nira laughed as she walked out of the brig with Amelia. Somehow, she had a sneaking suspicion Malaresh was going to start drinking with them more often.