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Valentine's Day.

A recent poll I saw online placed it as the #1 “Most Divisive" holiday among the general public. On second thought, it might have been regarded as “Most Hated." Or, maybe I was just projecting that part.

I don't think I could be blamed for agreeing with the majority, though. Some people think Halloween is too childish. Some people don't like putting up with the family around Thanksgiving. Some people really hate anything that goes on in December. But no holiday compares to February 14th in the eyes of the population. It has all the insincere dressings of a tribute to commercialism, yet despite so much encouragement from marketing agencies and greeting card companies to spend your cash on anything rosy colored, it's a holiday that's selectively exclusionary like no other. You don't need to be Irish to enjoy Saint Patrick's Day, but Mr. Saint Valentine is a little pickier about his participants. In essence, it's a holiday of love—whether shared between couples or given to the world.

It's a holiday that was fun when you were young enough to still appreciate getting chocolates from your mom, and maybe a bit through high school when “bringing enough for the whole class" was encouraged while public displays of affection were otherwise discouraged. But once you enter the adult world, Valentine's Day becomes a time of the year when you're no longer helped to celebrate it. However, you're constantly reminded when the day arrives, whether you intend to engage in it or not. Don't have a significant other to share the day with? No worries—you'll be subjected to countless couples who will gladly show you what you're missing out on. It was quickly becoming a “just stay home" kind of day for me, though every year I tell myself that I always forget by the next one. I go out because it's just another day to me—resigned to a single's life—but inevitably end up frustrated I one way or another. Like when you need to get down a certain aisle at the grocery store, but despite the overabundance of food options for sale, a pair of young lovers would rather eat each other's faces and blockade your path to what you need.

That's normally the sort of obstruction one would ignore, wait out until they move, or politely suggest the address of the nearest vacant motel for them to continue their lovemaking at. On this particular day, and after nearly a double-digit number of times running into a scene like this, my patience was wearing thin. I stood at the end of the aisle and cast a brooding stare in their direction, counting down the seconds until they sensed the temperature drop. Their talent for being oblivious and sucking face was impressive, however, and they continued on without regarding me.

“Kinda' makes your stomach turn, doesn't it?"

However, my sudden swearing out of surprise got the couple's attention pretty quickly. They hurried out of the aisle—fingers locked—while I tried to get my composure. I turned to look at the source of the voice in my ear that nearly gave me a heart attack.

He was a relatively youngish-to-middle-age-ish man, maybe a few years to a decade older than I was. Any youth in his features was offset by the deep bags under his eyes. He had an overly large knit hat that reminded me of a sleeping cap, and long, unkept hair that cascaded past the hem nearly to his shoulders. His ratty coat was just as poorly sized as his hat, making him look like he was drowning in it. The unamused look on his face—complete with sparkless, weary eyes—seemed like the perfect representation of how I had felt about the loitering couple. Actually, there was a lot about the man that reminded me of myself; he didn't quite have the same facial details as I did, but there was an uncanny resemblance about him that I feared I could pull off a little too well someday. A shiver went down my spine as though I stood face-to-face with a sad premonition of my future.

When my heartrate returned to a steady beat after the shock, I gave the man a rather peeved smile.

“There are better places they could go for that, yeah?" the man said before I could get a word in. “Not real considerate for all the others who gotta go without what they have."

“Yeah..." I said in dry agreement, hoping the single word would satisfy whatever the man's excuse for hovering nearby was. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough.

“What a drag this day can be. Too much work to do, and people got their expectations set higher'n the moon. Sucks, man."

The homeless-looking man started digging deep into his coat pockets. I didn't want to make direct eye contact in case the situation was about to turn horrifying. I looked around for any bystanders, but the aisle was hauntingly empty. Of course it would be now, of all times.

“Hey, you look like you're not up to much today," the man said, still fishing around in his coat. “Got something I want to ask you. No obligation, though."

His reassurance wasn't helping how awkward the encounter was.

“So, I gotta run the front desk of this little 'speed dating' type event goin' on tonight. Sort of a last-minute Valentine's social for all the fish that need someone to go home with tonight, yeah? Gonna be pretty swamped with paperwork, so I could use an extra hand to keep the guests busy in my stead."

The man withdrew from his pockets empty-handed, but with a flick of his wrist he materialized a business card from his sleeve, like an amateur street magician. He held out the card for me invitingly; it was amazingly pristine for where he got it from and how vigorously he had been rummaging through his clothes.

[Eli M.S.]

(Matchmaking Services)

The card had no website, no phone number, and no company logo. Just his name and an address that was not too far away from downtown.

“I could really use a volunteer to help," he continued. “Ah, but it won't be like you're not getting anything out of it. Can't really pay you in cash, but I can promise you'll meet a lot of cool cats and hot dogs if you come. Maybe even a bird or two, I dunno. Every year's pretty damn wild."

Everything the man said sounded like a joke, but he remained stone-faced and serious for the whole duration of the conversation. If he was doing some hidden-camera prank or whatever, he was a hell of a calm, collected performer. I was having a harder time trying to figure out how to react to his proposition than whether I should be turning him down or not to begin with.

“Er, thanks...Eli?" I said, taking the card.

He just shrugged. “Like I said, no pressure. Got the place at that address rented out for a few hours startin' at 7. If you can show up to help for a bit, that'd be worth a little good karma. Just askin' that you dress nicely, yeah? Clean shirt and pants should do. Maybe not something too dark that'll show any hairs stickin' to you. Know what? Never mind. Wear what's comfortable for you. I can't be picky if it'll get you to help me out."

He stuck his hands back into his pockets and walked off with a hunched back, as though regressing into the folds of his oversized coat.

“Hope to see ya' there, kid."

I followed him around the corner mere seconds later, but he was already gone. No sight of the homeless-looking man, and the crowds that had given us a wide berth to talk in private suddenly returned to the store as though nothing had happened.

It was a little after 6pm that evening when I got dressed up, as Eli recommended. Some part of me decided to wait until I was fully changed before questioning why I was going along with the strange, hobo-looking man's request to help out at some unknown location in the city. I wasn't even convinced yet that it wasn't just an elaborate prank meant to prey on sad, unloved singles for Valentine's Day, and that I wouldn't be receiving a ton of calls the following day from everyone I knew telling me about the hilariously tragic video they had seen me in. But interacting with other people and having a joke played on me at my own expense still sounded like a better use of my day than sitting home alone and drinking. I would be prepared to play the whole thing off as a joke, if it came to that.

Still, I was pretty proud of how well I cleaned up, looking back at myself in the mirror. A nice pair of slacks, a dress shirt, and a light blazer jacket was all I needed for an unseasonably warm mid-February evening. If I was indeed going to be tricked into some prank show, at least I wouldn't look as bad as I would feel.

I gave myself enough time to drive over to the address Eli gave me before the 7pm start time. For some reason, I didn't want to let down this random stranger and be late for the cryptic task he was going to give me, one which I was not obligated in the slightest to show up for. And yet, Valentine's Day was a common day for many others getting spurned, ghosted, or outright rejected, and I didn't want to do the same to keep the cycle of misery going. There was always the chance that this man had summoned all the courage he had to ask a stranger for help, at wit's end hoping someone would get him through the night, and if I were to disappoint him that would be the final straw to crush his spirit. The thoughts of not wanting to screw up on this kept my mind occupied until the minute I arrived at my destination, much sooner than I expected given how foggy the evening was getting.

The address had led me to a relatively small brick building sandwiched between an apartment complex and a vacant, bankrupted bar. Bright pink light seeped from the corners of the curtain-covered windows. There was not much else along the street I ended up on, and a sudden blanket of warm fog was rolling in to make the ends of the road look like they were swallowed in mist. It didn't drop the temperature, but it still wasn't the kind of weather to be standing around outside for. The rosy light from inside the building was much more inviting than the cloud of wintery mist I stood in the middle of. With a deep breath and a few smoothening pats of my jacket, I walked up to the pink-glow building and let myself inside.

It didn't take long to find out where all the pink was coming from. The inside of the building felt like the inside of a heart, with a soft, blushing glow radiating from floor to ceiling. The entrance room made me think of a night club lounge, or a “love hotel" I'd seen in travel shows. The whole place was carpeted, with drapes, flower bouquets, and frosted light bulbs hanging all over the walls and not leaving an inch bare of decoration. Sitting all alone in the middle of the shockingly large lobby room was a single office desk and a pair of chairs. One of the chairs was occupied by Eli, who had his feet kicked up on the desk as he thumbed through a deteriorating magazine. I only got a brief glimpse of some strange, vaguely human-looking animal on the cover before Eli noticed me and stuffed the magazine out of sight.

“Hmm? Oh, good timin'," he grunted, looking at his wrist where a watch would normally be. “Thanks for showin' up tonight, kid. We already got an early crowd goin' in there, so whenever you're ready to start we'll get down to brass tacks. Lookin' sharp tonight, I gotta say."

Eli still had a blank expression on his face, and I was convinced he was permanently frozen that way. He still had on the large knit cap, but instead of the raggedy coat from before, he was wearing what looked like a bleach-white doctor's jacket, complete with an image of his stoic mug on a name badge.

[Eli M.S.]

(Master of Seduction)

I had a handful of questions about who Eli was and what exactly he did to deserve such a title, but I was more preoccupied about what he meant by “an early crowd in there." At the far end of the spacious lobby room was a hallway that quickly split off in opposite directions. I could hear the reverberating bass of dance music spilling out from somewhere beyond, as well as the faint traces of people talking, but I hadn't seen anyone else enter the building before or after me. No other cars were parked outside anywhere close to mine, either.

“So, about the others," I started.

“Yeah, just about to get to that," Eli said with a grunt. He opened one of the desk drawers and fished around noisily for something. “Like I said before, I'm runnin' a matchmakin' event here tonight. Most of the guests are gonna mingle with each other, find a mate to take home, and go about their merry way without your help. You won't need to do anything to help them out, so don't worry. However...."

Eli pulled a stack of thick papers from the drawer and thumbed through them like a wad of cash. They looked like pamphlets, but made with a sturdy, colorful cardstock. Each one was crisply folded in half and sealed shut with a heart-shaped sticker. They were a solid royal blue in color, but the edges were gilded in real gold.

“Your job is to find the ones who look like they're in need of a little help findin' that special someone to take home. You'll know when you see 'em. I trust you got a good eye for spottin' the lonely types. When you find one, just waltz right up and slip them one of these. Maybe wish 'em a happy Valentine's Day, too. That should brighten up their night. Then, move on to the next one until the stack's all gone."

“Alright..." I said, taking the pamphlets. “And, what are these exactly?"

“I guess you could call them 'tickets to love.' When someone gets one, they're guaranteed to find that special love of their life. Never had a guest who got one and regretted it. There aren't any names on the tickets either, so just hand 'em out and let the tickets do the rest."

I gave Eli an incredulous look. He gave me that blank stare back. It was a staring contest neither of us was backing down from. I was waiting for a punchline or something to cap off the ridiculous explanation.

“You're serious?" was all I could muster.

“Nope, name's Eli." He tapped his name badge for emphasis. “But believe what you want, kid. Once you start seein' the reactions these nice people will have to gettin' a ticket, you'll start thinkin' differently. My advice, though, is to be a lil' bit discreet about it. They're gonna catch on quickly what's goin' on and what those tickets are for, no doubt, and you don't want to get swamped by a whole crowd beggin' you for one if they realize you're the vendor. Maybe you do, I dunno. I'd love to be surrounded by a group of those ladies in there. It's your judgement who to hand them out to, after all. And if you wanna be a heartbreaker and deny a ticket to someone, go for it. That's part of the judgement, after all. And besides...."

With a smooth motion, Eli dropped his feet from the desk and onto the floor, leaning forward with his fingers laced and his brow furrowed, as though studying me. His expression didn't change any, but his guttural tone sounded as though he was masking a mischievous smirk underneath his façade.

“...You're more than welcome to save one of those tickets for yourself, if you want. That temptation for findin' your own special someone is a powerful thing, believe me. All I ask is that you pass 'em all out before you leave for the night, and if the last one's for yourself, then that counts as well. Maybe don't open 'em all up before you get a chance to give them away, I guess would be my main rule, but who you give them to is your business. Just don't lose the whole pack, 'cause those are all we have to give out tonight. There are no replacements or substitutions for another whole year, alright?"

I looked at the stack of tickets, trying to see through the paper and examine what was inside them. I could keep one for myself, Eli had said. But what was it? Everything about my deal with him was bizarre and confusing, and now he had supposedly given me a pack of tickets that would somehow “guarantee" that a person would “find that special someone." Was this man high? Was he pulling my leg? It had to have been a prank after all. It felt like a juvenile game you'd teach to kids young enough to still appreciate Valentine's Day, promising them all their dreams would come true if they just kept believing in themselves, et cetera.

And yet, something about the stack of tickets was enthralling. There was an ethereal quality to how pristinely made these tickets were. The gold didn't show any smudges or fingerprints, and the corners weren't bent or smashed at all. They didn't feel like they were crafted by human hands, or were even meant to be held by them. I felt powerful possessing them, but I also felt the weight of harsh judgement. Why was Eli giving such a responsibility to me, if they truly did everything he said they would?

“Now, we're only open for a few hours," Eli said, breaking the silence, “but you're invited to go have some fun while you're here, too. Pass out those tickets, but try to look like you're havin' a good time, huh? After all, it'll help you blend in a bit more if it doesn't look like you're obviously workin' for me. Go have a chat, grab some refreshments, take a nametag sticker if you want, and don't forget to smile."

He traced a wide grin on his face with his fingers, over his unmoving, half-frown of a mouth. My reaction to his hypocrisy must have been plain on my own face, as he snorted roughly and kicked his feet back up on the desk.

“Do as I say, not as I do, and all that jazz," he muttered.

I left the grump to his magazine and departed for the back end of the room, sticking the tickets in my inside jacket pocket. The booming music got louder in time with my steps. My heart joined in with the beats, nervous to be the “ticket master" for whatever was going on in the building. It didn't help that I still had many unanswered questions. It was rapidly becoming clear that I would find no better explanation unless I just started checking things out. Both of the splits in the hallway simply wrapped around to reconvene at the same lounge room, filled with even more pink and decorations. Tables of food and large cushiony seats, too. And people—lots and lots of people.

And...not-people.

My eyes glossed over the few human figures scattered throughout the room, who were nearly camouflaged against the backdrop of what else populated the space. My first instinct was that all the others were costumed partygoers, dressed in extravagant dresses and robes and capes, and masked with inhuman looking heads. A couple others had pointed ears or pastel colored skin, with little wings or corkscrew horns. I didn't want to stare out of politeness—or maybe a little terror—but there was no direction to look where I wouldn't see one of them. They weren't simply “costumed" guests, and many definitely weren't humans. Creatures. Monsters. I didn't know what to call them.

And then there were the animal people. Two-legged beasts suited up like everyday people. They had moving muzzles and twitching tails. They had real fur and scales instead of skin. Some of them were towering over the other guests, while a few only came up to waist height. They were communicating with one another with human tongues—rather, animalistic tongues speaking human languages—but the voices ranged from squawks to barks and filled the whole room with a cacophony of noise like a pet store. Most of them wore human clothes, albeit tailored for any wings or alien appendages they had. I shouldn't have been so surprised that a lot of the outfits, especially those on the guests who had very “feminine" shapes about them, where also styled in ways that drew the gaze to certain features of their physiques.

My eyes darted from one specimen to the next. What the hell did I walk into? I had to be dreaming, but no dream I ever had gave me the same feeling of anxiety as when I was awake and in a place I knew I didn't belong. This was the real world anxiety I felt when I was dragged to wild house parties where everyone was a stranger, only this feeling was ramped up tenfold as I wasn't even the same species as these creatures. I dug my fingernails into my palm until I could feel the pain. It was all real. My gaze wandered over to a nearby womanly-shaped individual staring back at me. It was a doe girl: an actual two-legged deer—accessorized with petite, stubby horns between her large ears—with a worried look on her face as she watched me panic internally. Ironically, I must have appeared like I was caught in a set of oncoming vehicle headlights.

I spun around on my heel and hurried out of the room, striding back to the entrance where Eli was back to reading his magazine. His head bent backward at the sound of my approach.

“Done already?" he said, scratching his forehead.

I waited until I was right next to him before spitting out my bubbling feelings.

“What is going on!?" I whispered. I glanced back over my shoulder in paranoia to make sure I wasn't followed out.

“Uh oh. Did someone come onto you a little too strong?" Eli said. “I'd call that good luck. Don't pay them any mind, bud. They're probably just as shy and awkward about findin' someone to talk to as you are and don't know how to make a good first impression. Get a drink or two and you'll mellow out."

I shook my head in frustration. “What ARE they?"

“Uh, party guests? Lonely people needin' some love? People who want some free grub?"

My next few words sputtered out in unintelligible exasperation. Why was he being so obtuse about this?

“Take it easy, man," Eli said. “You're gonna spook people if you keep breathin' heavily like that."

He set his magazine aside and gave me a hard look. His expression still didn't change any, but the sternness in the air said it all.

“Look, I can tell you're the type of guy who keeps his head down a lot. We've all been there, not payin' attention to the world around you. But this is why you wanna try to keep your eyes up once in a while. You won't notice all the amazin' people in your life if you're always lookin' at your feet. Frankly, a lot of the guests here tonight are the same way: they didn't think twice about who's out there to make a connection with until they gave this place a shot. Like I said, most of 'em are probably as shy as you."

If Eli had been joking this whole time, he deserved an award. His plain face was trying to tell me that the creatures I saw in the next room had been out there in the world this whole time, and it's just because I wasn't paying enough attention that I never noticed them before? It felt like he was jerking me around, but there was no way I could explain how those other guests existed. I didn't know what to do, except let my cognition of reality crumble away and just...accept what was happening as my true life.

My head dropped from the strain of the truth. Eli misinterpreted it as a nod of agreement.

“'Atta boy. You'll do fine out there. And if anyone does get a lil' too rough with you, you'll know where to find me. I'm tryin' to run a classy place here."

He gave me a thumbs-up and returned to his magazine. After getting a better look at the cover, I realized the model on the front was a two-legged feline, not unlike all the other animal people I had just fled from. I wasn't going to get anything else out of the ragged man until I gave this ticket-handling thing another shot.

Round two. I set off for the next lounge room once more, a little slower this time. I survived once with my life, but on top of interacting with abnormal, inhuman guests, now I had the shame of someone who ran from parties. Hopefully I didn't make too much of a scene when I cowered from the others and left my nerves in a disgraceful heap. Thankfully, the room hadn't changed much from the last several minutes, except for the shuffling of bodies. The doe was looking at me again, though. She stepped up slowly and gave me a concerned look.

“Are you doing okay?" she said in a gentle voice. “You looked a little sick before you ran out."

“Y-yeah, I'm better now," I said, giving her a weak smile in return. “Just nervous, I guess. Not used to, uh, places like this."

That wasn't a lie, anyway.

“I know what you mean!" she replied, sounding rather relieved. Her ears flapped as she spoke excitedly. “There are so many others here, and a lot of them are already making pairs or groups. Every time I see someone I want to talk to, they disappear in the crowd and I can't find them again. I'm starting to think I don't have a chance of meeting anyone...."

I was suddenly aware of the stack of tickets in my jacket pocket. Eli did say to hand them out to guests like this doe; guests who were having a harder time meeting someone and seemed deserving. The doe fit the bill perfectly. There were quite a number of tickets to hand out, too, and it was going to be a long night if I kept trying to avoid people. I placed myself between the doe and the nearest cluster of other guests, shielding her from their eyes. Grabbing one of the tickets from my pocket, I put a finger to my lips and gave her hushed instructions.

“Take this. We're giving these out to special guests to make their Valentine's Day just right. Hopefully it helps make your night a little better."

I was banking on everything Eli told me being the truth. I had no idea what the tickets really meant or if they'd actually help, like I had just told the deer woman they would. I might have been making promises that could never be kept. Thankfully, I was still close enough to the entrance lobby if I screwed up and needed to bail out.

The doe took the ticket gingerly. Her tiny hands had thick black nails, reminding me of the hooves of a “real" deer. She broke the seal on the ticket and unfolded the colorful paper; I watched her focus zip from one side to the other as she read whatever was written inside. I was longing to see for myself, but I had to restrain my curiosity and not loom over her. After all, I would surely see for myself what it said by the end of the night, once I had my own ticket left over. But even if I wanted to take a peek at the doe's ticket, she pulled it to her chest like a lovestruck girl getting a letter from her crush. Her eyes glistened with excitement.

“R-Really!? Oh my, thank you! Thank you!"

She wrapped her arms around me and gave a tight squeeze, much more powerfully than I expected for her size. Then, she ran off for the lobby where Eli was stationed. I wouldn't see her again for the rest of the night. Several of the other nearby guests shot me a confused look, wondering what the outburst was about, but they soon went back to chatting amongst themselves. I had managed to hand out my first ticket, and it didn't seem like I exposed my true intentions yet. One down, thirty or so left to go.

There were definitely enough guests in the first lounge room alone to hand out the rest of the tickets, but most of the guests present were already paired up, just as the doe had said. Not only would passing out the rest be more difficult with bigger crowds, but many of them didn't seem to need one. That ticket brought the doe a shocking amount of joy and excitement, yet the majority of those in the room seemed to be getting along well enough. Eli implied this would happen, after all. I scanned through the throngs of partygoers and noticed three other doorways along the walls, no doubt leading to additional lounges within the brick building. Just how big was this place? The outside dimensions of the building didn't strike me as being large enough to hold all these rooms and all these strange guests.

I picked the first doorway on the left side of the room, weaving my way through the crowds. A troll-like gentleman practically bursting out of a three-piece suit was surrounded by a posse of diminutive pixies. A surprisingly “normal" human man was sitting on a couch next to a shark-faced woman; after a moment's glance I realized she had a massive shark's tail for a lower body as well, and the human was perched on top of it as they chatted. An actual, honest-to-God Lugosi-esque vampire was gradually leaning away from a hyena woman, his face turning green from the nauseating breath belching from her raucous laughter. Something she ate, maybe?

My route through the doorway was almost blocked by a roving cluster of women, all of various animal appearances. They all looked particularly unenthused about the loud chatter coming from the back of their pack. A creamy-white feline in an extravagantly colorful cocktail dress—fur so short she almost looked hairless—was speaking loudly about the party, and she seemed oblivious to her “friends" trying to excuse themselves from her company.

“I never imagined how many would be here tonight!" the cat cackled shrilly. She may have been rather intoxicated already. “So many handsome catches here tonight; you better watch out, girls! You're going to need to step your game up, or they'll all going to flock to...a real winner!"

I let the cat girl chase off the group before continuing forward to the next room. Much like the previous one, the new lounge had a fluorescent glow—blue this time—and was filled with even more refreshments and guests alike. Several more doorways within led off to even more lounges. The identical rooms would have made me think I had stumbled into some portal back to the beginning, if it wasn't for the change in hues. I picked another path and followed the flow of the party. Hallways connected to rooms that connected to even more of both, all with their own light colors and snack assortments. The building was a maze of interjoined lounges for what was easily over a hundred patrons of all kinds of shapes and sizes. There was no feasible way all of the rooms were fitting into the same building, but the opportunity to suspect some supernatural culprit behind it all had long passed. I had to accept it all if I didn't want to drive myself insane.

So many bizarre people to meet, and so many rooms to check into. It took me a while of straying from one lounge to another before I eventually looped back to a familiar spot, but the loitering creatures had been shuffled around with new mingling guests. Everyone here was clearly on the prowl for someone to take home, and if I found someone who interested me it would be next to impossible to find them again with all the movement. It already happened to the doe, before I swooped in to spare her of the hunt.

That thought stopped me cold. Me being interested in someone here? There were a few other humans, sure, but the vast majority were very distinctly not my species, and I wouldn't be interested in half of that small pool of picks to begin with. And yet, that thrilled me more than it worried me. I never considered I could be attracted to something with fur or horns or a prehensile tail, but then again I never entertained any delusion that such unusual monstrous or animal-like creatures existed in this world at all. I would be introduced to another side of my own character, exposed to a large collection of alien and fantastical beings and seeing what my own tastes would be toward them, like trying a bunch of “mystery" candies. But would I really find the one here? And if I did, how would a relationship even work? Could I bring her home with me?

The ringing of a distant chime echoed through the lounges, barely audible over the thunderous chatter and merriment. I instinctively checked my watch and received a cruel warning: it was already 8 in the evening. An hour had passed since I arrived, and in my curiosity to check out the party I had only handed out one of my tickets. Eli didn't say exactly how long the event would be going on for, but I was willing to bet it wouldn't be forever.

Time was running out. I needed to stick to my mission.

A ticket for loners and those with bad luck in love, that was the task. The shifting crowds made it both tricky and convenient to find those who could be discreetly slipped one of the lucky prizes. None of the guests were as easy to approach as the doe had been—probably because the night was still young, and many were still hopeful they could score from their own merits—but I was up to the challenge. Despite the uniqueness of some of the guests, it never felt as though I ran into the same exact crowd twice. Were there new visitors still coming in? And from where?

A few of the repeats stood out easily, though. Particularly large guests were impossible to miss as I strolled through the rooms, and some less-than-mobile ones chose to remain where they were for the night, like some aquatic species confined to tubs of water. How they got there opened up even more questions I would never get answers to. Then there were some like the creamy cat girl who stood out just from the others just through forceful presence.

“There's nothing like a healthy competition, is there?" she clamored, talking the ears off some elves she started tailing; I believe they were elves anyway, judging from the ears. They were all equally radiant and androgynous, at any case, which made the feline stand out even more as she drew all eyes to her. “Ah, how I hope there is enough for everyone to go around! I would feel so sorry for the poor souls who can't get a date on a night like this!"

I made a mental note to avoid the cat at all costs. She was an interesting one to look at, and I would be lying to say I wasn't a little bit enticed by her regal attraction, but the last thing I needed was to get roped into an endless discussion and distracted from my job.

A panda girl was my second target, tucked into a secluded corner of a small side room. She didn't look the type to have any problems grabbing attention just from her cute demeanor, but social anxiety was keeping her from interacting with any other guests.

“P-please, just have someone come get me when it's all over," she said, hiding her snout behind her paws to make herself “invisible."

“I might be able to help," I said.

Just the ticket to get her to open up, literally. She thanked me with another back-cracking hug before charging off to the lobby. I was going to feel it in the morning, for sure.

There was a leaf-covered dryad mixed in with some decorative potted flowers who earned the next one. She didn't seem to be hiding among the flora so much as trying to make her own posse of plants for protection. A young male crow was number four, followed by one of the elves from earlier. A few more tickets later, and I was handing out a ticket to what I would later learn was a Dullahan. He looked like a normal human in a ritzy suit, until I noticed the “head" was just someone standing behind him, and there was actually nothing above his collar. It would have been nice to see his facial reaction to earning a ticket, but his giddy body language made up for it. At some point in the night, I even ran into the human who had been sitting with the shark woman at the beginning. He was holding a bloody napkin up to a spot at the base of his neck.

“Yeah, she's really nice," the man groaned painfully, “but I don't know if I could get used to the biting...."

I gave him a ticket for his injuries. He needed both hands to break the seal, which gave me a good look at the nasty hickey he had gotten. The wound started bleeding again as his blood flow increased and his face got red.

“Woah, no kidding?" he gasped. “Yeah...yeah, this could work! Thanks, man!"

I still couldn't figure out what these guests were getting excited over from the tickets alone, but in the young man's case I hoped it was a mouth guard for the shark girl he appeared to be smitten for.

Next target: two identical wolf-like women sitting alone at an unattended bar counter, with sullen expressions on both of their faces. Their piercing golden eyes shone through their dark fur gorgeously, and it was baffling how nobody wanted to approach them. More luck for me, I thought. It would be an easy way to get rid of twice the tickets at once. The only drawback would be having to engaged with twice the number of women at once, which was a feat above my comfort levels thus far in the night. As I snuck through the crowds and made my way to the bar, something didn't sit right with me. Once I broke past a wall of other guests, it was clear to me why I not only had that inkling, but why those two women were being ignored. They weren't “two" after all, at least below their necks.

They shared one body and one silky dress—though the outfit was cut differently on one half to give it an asymmetrical style—but two lupine heads sat between a wide pair of shoulders. One looked more crestfallen, while the other looked downright pissed about being ignored. Even for the wild assortment of guests that populated the building, including the literally headless guy, these two were among the most unique I had seen so far. They must have sensed my approach, because in my hesitation to take the final steps up to them, they stared daggers from their golden eyes in my direction. I was too hasty to get near them, and now that I faltered I was only making their tempers rise.

“What the hell do YOU want?" the aggressive right head snapped.

“If you're here to gawk, you can just turn around and leave," the left head said with a hint of hurt in her voice.

Those threatening words gave me all the context I needed. I could imagine an evening full of rejection and gossip the two-headed wolf woman likely endured, getting spurned by animal people and monsters alike who felt the twins were outside of even their own preferences. I wasn't ready to deal with a minefield of consoling someone like them, but then again I wasn't prepared for the night as a whole. Even so, it would reflect badly on both Eli and myself to balk and fail the one job I was assigned. I was entrusted to bring joy—and possibly love—to these guests, and if I didn't do it, who would? The only question left was how many tickets to hand out?

I started with one, pulling a ticket from my jacket and presenting it to the lupines, making sure to smile and give them both an equal amount of attention and eye contact. The two heads pulled away from one another far enough to each give a confused side-eye to the other.

“Isn't that the thing...?" the left head whispered to her companion out of the corner of her mouth.

The right side snatched the ticket and sliced it open with a claw. Their cheeks pressed together as both heads scanned the paper voraciously. Then, they jolted to their feet with a speed that almost knocked me over.

“I-is this for real!?" the right head gasped.

I could only grin and shrug. I had to play it off as me acting coy, since there was no genuine explanation I could give them. All the ticket recipients knew better than I did what the contents inside meant. Their heads flanked mine, and I found myself smooshed between their furry necks as they gave me yet another strong hug. When they gave me a chance to breathe, each muzzle planted a quick kiss on my opposing cheeks. The left head smiled sweetly, while the right head looked flustered yet grateful.

“You're a saint! Thank you!"

“You saved this disaster of a night, pal! Never gonna forget this!"

The two-headed wolf woman skipped off, leading to a mass head-turn from the surrounding crowds. First they all watched as the elated duo headed off for the lobby, and then they all turned to me. The exchange I had with the sulking lupines had gone unnoticed, but now that the girls fled the lounge with their hearts up on cloud nine, the others were starting to put two and two together. I had done something wonderful for the two wolves; would I do the same for them? Bird people gossiped to one another behind fanned wings, while some squat goblins were trying to see what the fuss was about through the legs of the taller guests.

I turned away and strolled off for another room, trying to ignore the scene I had left behind. The last thing I wanted was to show my hand...or rather, my tickets. But as I made a beeline for the opposite end of the building to shake off the suspicion, I caught morsels of the chatter in the passing rooms. To my horror, it sounded like the rumors were moving faster than I was.

“Hey, have you heard about those tickets they're handing out?"

“Supposedly it's like a lottery. If you get one, all your dreams come true!"

“What? How do you get one!?"

“I heard someone's walking around with them!"

“Ya know, twice I saw a guy who was hanging around some others who got one, I think...."

“Well, what'd he look like!?"

Some of the rumors were just as inaccurate as one might expect from a giant game of “telephone," but some of them were dangerously too truthful. A few stray words that sounded like my own physical description were tossed around, putting me on edge. The only one who seemed to diffuse the situation was, ironically enough, a guest I had been trying to avoid the whole night, one whom I almost ran directly into in my blind flight for safety.

“It's not worth fretting over," the creamy cat said to a nearby crowd with the confidence that made it sound like she had already been granted a ticket. “I heard myself that they've all been handed out already! Anyone still hanging around hoping to find their dream man the 'easy' way might have to head home with a heavy heart! Oh, I feel sorry for them...."

She was only of the only ones I had seen all night who bothered to take one of the nametag stickers.

[Hello, My Name Is: TA'BEST]

It was a name that sounded just as conceited as the feline had acted all night, complete with a little heart instead of an apostrophe. I doubted it was even a real name, but my conscience scolded me. These were bestial strangers and creatures right out of folklore; who was I to mock what they named their children? Regardless, I didn't have the time left to spare, especially not so close to a potential job hazard.

Things were getting tense. A dozen more tickets were dispensed to partygoers after the two-headed wolves, and while I still had less than half of my stack left there wasn't nearly enough to give to everyone who wanted one...and the rumors increased the number of loveless loners expecting to get one. It felt like a blessing at first that the crowds were gradually thinning out over time, newly made couples disappearing little by little, but that also meant I couldn't hide among the guests as readily before I made my move, like a hunter in the tall grass. I would need to become a much more cunning hunter in how I selected my last handful of targets.

As I walked into a nearly empty side room, I found a solitary rabbit girl straightening her skirt out by a tall mirror. This would work, I thought. I ducked into the room and waved into the reflection to announce my presence. The rabbit peeped in surprise and spun around.

“O-oh, hello! Didn't think anyone would find me all alone like this!"

“Didn't mean to startle you, sorry," I said, trying to sneak a clothes adjustment of my own in the mirror. “The party's out there, though. Are you not having a good time tonight?"

“Well, I suppose so," she raid, tapping the carpet with her large toes. “I guess I was just waiting for the right guy to show up, but I haven't found him yet. I was thinking of throwing in the towel and going home soon...."

There was something...off about the way she spoke. Her words sounded stilted, but there was a hopeful look in her eyes that distracted me from my concerns. I reached into my jacket and peeled a ticket from the stack.

“Well, maybe I can help with that."

I presented the folded paper to the rabbit, who squealed with joy before she even saw the ticket in full. I knew it, something was wrong.

“EEEEE! We were right!" she screamed.

I heard rapid thumping approaching from behind, and a blur of gray passed by my vision toward the rabbit girl. Two more of them. The new rabbits held out their paws pleadingly with wide, teary eyes. Even the one who already scored her own looked at me with desire.

“Please!? Pleasepleaseplease!" the triplets said.

I looked around in fear of any more ambushers. Luckily, nobody else appeared to have caught on, though that didn't excuse the fact that I was sloppy and got baited into an obvious trap. This did mean three fewer tickets to have to hang on to, and what proof did I have that these rabbit girls weren't deserving of them anyway? I sighed with resignation and retrieved another pair of tickets.

“Alright, well played. Take care of them."

With each now having their own, the trio of rabbit girls cracked the seals of their tickets open with a pop-pop-pop. The look of shock in their eyes caught me off guard. Were some of the tickets duds? Did these things somehow know when someone cheated to get one? Was there a label I was supposed to be checking on the tickets to make sure they went to the right recipients?

But the rabbits broke out in a chorus of gleeful screams and hugged one another. Then they included me in a paralyzing embrace. They almost got stuck in the doorway as all three tried to squeeze through at the same time, abandoning their sense of teamwork as they raced for the entrance, every-rabbit-for-herself. I didn't dare hang around for a second longer. Others would no doubt see their exuberance and rush to retrace their steps, hoping to find the source of the winning tickets. I needed to be undetectable with my escapes, and maybe even my drop-offs.

I switched up my strategy and did a fly-by handoff for the next one. A massive man with the head of a yak was loading up a plate with a massive man's worth of hors d'oeuvres, all alone at a refreshments table. Every few snacks he grabbed was punctuated with a sniff and a wipe of his nose on his sleeve. I couldn't see his eyes through the cascading bangs of hair over his face, but I knew depression eating when I saw it. I zoomed in close to the yak and slid a ticket into his back pocket. It wasn't until I had put a good retreating distance between us that he sensed my approach. The yak looked around the room for a moment, and then he honed in on me—though it was hard to tell from the long bangs when exactly I was spotted. I rocked on my heels and patted my back pocket nonchalantly, and the yak did the same to mimic me.

Just the sight of the ticket alone when he pulled it out was enough to make the yak drop his mountainous plate of appetizers on the floor. He parted his hair with his newly unoccupied hand, mouth agape at the treasure he had been given. A somewhat immodest piece of me wanted to stay and savor his reaction further, but I had to keep moving. The bellow of happiness that followed me out of the room was enough for the time being. Capping off the anxiety and rush of finding a target with the reward of sharing in their glee was exhilarating. It was like shooting one bullseye after another with perfect precision, and each arrow was wrapped with a gold-gilded ticket.

The finish line was in sight. Now the challenge had evolved once more. The true obstacle became finding guests in the first place. In just a few short minutes after a few short deliveries, the crowds had depleted substantially. The “hunter" had to use all of his senses to find the last few targets. It would be a difficult feat, as the majority of the previous targets all deliberately removed themselves from high-traffic areas. If I heard or saw groups together, chances are I was going the wrong direction to find an outlier. I changed from a brisk walk to a steady jog, then I broke out into a sprint when I hit an empty hallway. A couple of by standing blurs shouted encouragement to me as I streaked by.

“You can do it, buddy!"

“Go find that special someone!"

They thought I was trying to find a last-minute date. I took their rallying words in stride, even though it wasn't what I needed them for. As long as I kept a ticket for myself, I wouldn't need to “find" my own special someone.

Hopefully....

And then there was one. One final ticket left, and nobody left to give it to. The building was like an after-hours shopping mall while I hunted down the final few candidates, and after I handed the second-to-last ticket off to an ecstatic sloth girl—who had already begun her long, dejected trek back to the lobby before I intercepted her—the whole place was cleared out. An eerie silence filled the space that the animals and monsters left behind. Even the droning party music had been shut off at some point that I hardly noticed. All that remained was the refreshment leftovers. Hopefully, Eli wasn't going to ask me to stay and clean up the mess.

I felt the final ticket in my jacket pocket. It was incredibly lucky I managed to save one for myself in spite of the chaos that happened throughout the night. There's no possible way Eli had planned this many exact tickets for the precise number of guests I would approach and have one saved just for me. I was prepared to give it away if needed—reluctantly, to be honest, but my conscience wouldn't let me live it down if keeping it for myself meant denying someone else their happiness. I laughed grimly at the mental image of my inner voice forcing my hand to give away the ticket. That would be just my kind of luck. As I thought about it more, my inner voice wasn't laughing back.

Take one more walk around, just in case, it said to me.

I looked around my current room, leaning over slightly to peer into the connecting hallways. After all, I couldn't hear anyone else, and it had been a few minutes since my final target.

It won't be long, my conscience said. One last lap around the place, and you can take pride in knowing you've truly earned that ticket.

I inhaled sharply, trying to suffocate the voice that was nagging in my head. It had a point, though. By now I was familiar with the layout of the spatially impossible building, and I could quickly pass through each room once without having to double back much. I would duck into each one just long enough to confirm its emptiness, and then I would hurry back to the lobby to reconvene with Eli and check what reward the ticket had for me, like a child rushing to his parents on Christmas morning to open the biggest present. The rumors about the tickets stirred in my head. Some of the guests fantasized about completely ridiculous things, but it was difficult not to let my imagination run wild. Eli had said it was “a ticket to love," but what did that mean?

Empty room, empty room, empty room....

I cleared one room at a time, growing in excitement with each vacant lounge. I swept over half of the building successfully, and the home stretch was in reach. With any luck, Eli had already started the front rooms now that all the guests had obviously left for the night. It was just after 11pm as well, and that meant Valentine's Day was all but over anyway. For how late it was, I felt refreshed and energized. The prize in my pocket was probably the reason. Empty room, empty room....

Three quarters complete, and my daydreams about the ticket were slowing my progress. I looked into a lounge to find nothing there, and my mind would stray to the possibilities of what was in store for me. I would be frozen in the room threshold, forgetting why I was rushing so much as though some invisible webbing was halting me in place. I had to shake my head to keep myself focused.

That's when I heard something not too far away: crying. No, wailing.

It started softly, then it spiked to a shrill volume. Several rooms down, there was someone still left over. It sounded intensely pained. Was someone in trouble? Where was Eli when you really needed him? I ignored my room checking and bolted toward the source of the crying. The doorway stopped me like that invisible webbing, but the lounge I was led to indeed had one guest left this time.

It was the creamy, shorthair cat girl. “Ta'Best."

She was bawling into her arms, oblivious to my arrival. She sat alone on a cushioned bench with a discarded drink glass at her feet and an empty snack plate at her side. It had been quite a bit since I last almost ran into her, but she had seemed just as confident and peppy as every other time I overheard her. What changed so suddenly?

I cleared my throat and slowly walked closer.

“Hey," I said. “Miss? Are you alright?"

The cat looked up at me. The combination of her short, skin-like layer of fur and her deluge of tears made it look like her face was melting.

“T-t-they're all gone..." she hiccupped. “A-all gone, and I'm all a-alone!"

The cat girl sobbed for a while longer before she could regain her composure enough to speak some more. I didn't know what to do to help her. I never had to console someone so grief-stricken before, let alone someone not even human. The two-headed wolf ladies were one thing, but even they weren't as beside themselves as this cat woman was. All I could do was stand before her and let her cry it out.

“Stupid," she said, wiping her tears away fruitlessly as more dripped down. “This was a s-stupid idea after all. I knew it. I told her! I...I...."

I took a seat beside Ta'Best, lending my ear for her if I couldn't do anything better. The animal woman who had appeared so self-confident and egotistical to the point of coming off as arrogant hours before was reduced to a mewling wreck. Then again, it wasn't that surprising how someone with such a façade of pride was truly so insecure on the inside. There had been those in the past who gave me guilty pleasure to see get their deterioration when karma finally caught up to them—classroom bullies, bratty coworkers, snobbish bosses—but something was different about this time. Maybe it was because she wasn't human. Maybe I had mellowed out over the years, and I couldn't stand to see someone so pitiful when I knew what it felt like to be just as lonely.

“Ta'Best, is it?" I said, trying to build some connection to the feline.

She looked at me in confusion, then she noticed the nametag sticker on her dress. She ripped it off, balled it up, and threw it into the wine glass with expert aim.

“...Just a dumb n-nickname my sister calls me," the cat mumbled, snorting back more tears. “She told me I was too quiet and reserved, and that I needed to p...put myself out there more. Act like a hotshot, like everyone would want m-me. H-ha! Fat lot of good that d-did me. I never got s-so many nasty looks in my life...."

The cat girl looked at me with bleary, emerald eyes. It was only of the ugliest crying faces I ever saw, but there was a strange beauty to her animal features that enamored me.

“I...I tried to stick myself in with the big crowds," she continued, “to try to stand out and get some attention. But I j-j-just drove them all away...and before I knew it...*hic*...they were all gone! My chance at love is over, and I ruined it!"

She sobbed some more, curling up into her knees. My heart grew heavy, but not as heavy as what rested near it. Just one left. One final ticket that I was so certain had my name on it. The reward I was promised for a night of hooking up humans and creatures and weird monstrous things, triggering what I imagined was a happy, dream-filled life. The lobby wasn't far away, either. If I excused myself from the wailing cat, it would be short walk out the door and into whatever future the other guests had to look forward to.

But I couldn't do it. My conscience wasn't even intervening with that nagging voice of reason anymore, yet I could still feel judgement bearing down on me. It was waiting for me to do the right thing.

The cat finally calmed down again, trying to force a weak smile.

“S-so, I guess you're in the same boat, h-huh? They didn't have a-anyone for you to go home with?"

I sighed with a mournful, “I'm sorry."

“S...sorry? Wuh...what do you mean?"

I took the ticket from my jacket, holding it out for the weeping feline.

“I'm sorry I caused you so much stress by leaving you for the end. I...didn't know how to approach you. I guess I was a little intimidated. I hope you can accept my apology, and...I hope you have a happy Valentine's Day."

It wasn't entirely a lie; I was definitely intimidated by her earlier on. Still, maybe I could cheer her up by spinning it as wanting her to be the final winner. Saving Ta'Best for last.

I made a mental note to kick myself later for that joke.

But she didn't take it right away. The cat girl looked from the ticket to my eyes, back to one and then the other several times.

“It was you all this time?" she said in disbelief. “The guy handing these out?"

“Yeah...."

She drew back for a moment before reaching for the ticket. “I...don't know what to say. I...h-haha...feel like such a big baby for crying like this. But...is it r-really? I can...?"

I nodded, extending the ticket even closer to her. I could feel a little selfish fragment of myself reaching out to grab it back, but it was too feeble to matter. If I had to drop it onto her lap to be done with it, I would. The ticket wasn't going home with me, and that was final. Whatever was inside it brought great happiness to the guests who got one, but I wasn't without my own happiness. I thought back to each of the guests I had gifted one of the lucky papers to, and I could remember each of their faces vividly. It wasn't simply because of their inhuman, feral features either. The expressions of relief and joy they gave me in return was its own reward, as cliched as it sounded. Few of them were as close to an emotional breakdown as the cat girl, too, which made the final handoff the most important one, and I would tell myself that even when the pangs of regret would try to deride me for doing the right thing.

Ta'Best took the ticket, holding it as though it was the most brittle thing she could handle. Once it left my fingertips, I rose from my feet like a balloon that was freed from its weight. It was out of my hands now, literally. The cat girl would be getting her last-minute Valentine's wish, and I would likely get nothing else besides the night's memories.

I gave the feline a polite bow and walked out, leaving her in stunned silence.

The absence of the tickets made my jacket feel ten times lighter. The weightlessness helped move me back to the lobby quickly, before I had time for the regrets to sink in. There was no telling what would happen now that my mission was done. I almost expected Eli to have ditched his desk by the time I returned, leaving me to exit the building and drive home without another word to anyone about what had happened. Was it even worth humoring anyone with the details of my night, even knowing full well they would brush off the whole thing as a joke?

To my surprise, Eli was still at his desk, ogling a poster that had flopped out of his magazine's centerfold.

“Hmm? AH-sh...hey, champ," he grumbled, stuffing the magazine into the depths of his coat. “So, you done for real this time? You look like you got nothin' left about you."

“Does it really show?" I chuckled, pointing to my face. Nothing left sounded about right, which meant the regrets were already setting in.

The ragged man dropped his feet from the desk and motioned to the empty chair across from him. “Well, that look tells me a lot. I gotta say a few things. Like, 'You did a good thing tonight, kid," and, 'I know exactly what you had to do.'"

Eli pulled open one of the desk drawers with a rickety rumble and snatched a pair of beers. I never saw him grab a bottle opener, but he somehow popped the caps off effortlessly. The cool bottles made me aware of just how little I had to eat or drink throughout the night, and I graciously took my share from the strange man along with a seat across from him. We drank together without a word, enjoying the silence of the empty building.

“I gotta be honest," Eli said, staring off at nothing in particular. “I doubted you for a bit there. I thought you'd be comin' back to me with a ticket in hand, and I'd see someone comin' out not much later with an empty heart."

“Someone needed it more than I did," I said, looking off at the same nothingness as Eli.

“That's how it always is. Every single time." He reclined in his chair, pulling his knit hat down over his eyes. “I started this gig a few years ago. Got roped in by some weird dude, not too different from how I probably look to you, kid. Gave me a stack of tickets and the same spiel about keepin' one if I didn't hand it out. And guess what happened? I never got to keep one. All of the souls that get invited here either leave with someone they meet, or they leave with their 'ticket to love.' Seein' their faces every time I gave them their dream-come-true made the whole night worth it. But...man, did it hurt not to have one left for my own sake. I told myself I'd keep one safe the next year, when I found another stack of tickets in my mailbox to do it all over a second time. And...I gave them all up again. And again.

“So, nothing changed over the years. I gave them all away, vowed not to be the only sad sap without someone to cherish—one way or another—and fate would find a way to disappoint me. I was just too damn nice about it. Well, I guess I lied. Somethin' did change eventually: I stopped believin' it would work out for me. This was my job every year, and I couldn't turn it down. I would forever go without someone of my own, as long as it meant I could be the one to make someone else's wishes come true."

Eli looked back to me. His mouth was still half-frowned and sullen, but his brow arched up with a hint of remorse. “I'm real' sorry for makin' you do this, champ. Truth be told, I didn't want to do this by myself anymore; I didn't want to be the only one to go through this. Turns out sticking another poor matchmaker out there to share the misery with didn't make me feel any better. I had a feelin' there wouldn't be enough tickets left for you, let alone the both of us. I saw how empty you looked back at the store, and I thought that maybe you were the kind of guy who could appreciate givin' joy to people like how I've been doin'. Probably turned out worse for me in the end, 'cause I didn't even get to enjoy all those happy faces you got to see. I was kinda missin' that part, just sittin' here."

“Nah, it's alright," I said, taking another swig of beer. “I can't blame you. I had a fun time, yeah."

I couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of the moment.

“I mean, I didn't think I'd be seeing animals and goblins and stuff when I strolled in here. I still can't believe it! I actually...you know, started to feel like I would have...maybe given a chance to hooking up with one of them if I wasn't so busy with the tickets."

The words slipped out of my mouth. I wasn't drinking nearly enough to be loose with my true feelings, but the sentiments found their way out regardless. I had just admitted to a total stranger that I would have been fine with dating something not at all human, or possibly even from this world. The doe girl, the panda, two-headed wolf, the cat girl...they all had an allure that put an odd feeling in my chest. At first I was afraid to face Eli again and see his response to my confession, but the ragged man looked thoughtful.

“We all have our preferences. I can't fault anyone for havin' favorites, you know? Still, look what you opened yourself up to tonight by comin' here and givin' these nice people a chance. Now you probably have to think again about what your preferences really are, huh? I'm sure you probably turned your nose to veggies as a little squirt as well. It's nothin' to be ashamed about. As long as you're honest with yourself, and you're not hurtin' anyone, you can't be faulted for not knowin' all the good things out there in the world."

Eli shook his head the way someone savors a breathtaking taste.

“But...wow, human girls don't do as much for me anymore. Once you meet someone who wraps her tail around your leg as she looks at you with lovey-dovey eyes...that's true love right there, kid. Don't ever pass up someone like that."

Eli's gaze shifted to somewhere behind me. My head followed the direction of his eyes until I saw Ta'Best padding silently up to us. She was holding her ticket up to her chest.

“Well, well, looks like the last of the guests has returned," Eli said, straightening himself up. “Congrats to you, miss. Need me to validate your parkin' on your way out?"

The creamy cat looked from Eli to me.

“Actually, I wanted to give this back." Her voice was still a little shaky from the crying, but she stood with firm resolve. “I couldn't help but overhear what you were saying before, about what you do here, and...I think you're more deserving of this."

She was directing her words to me alone. Even Eli, the true organizer of the event, put his hands up and leaned back in his chair, as if signaling that it was all on me. I didn't sense any regret in the cat's attitude, but I couldn't imagine she was happy to be so close to her “ticket to love" and knowing she was about to relinquish it. I shook my head at her.

“Nope, it's yours. I've already decided to wait my turn, even if it means having to come back and do this again another year."

“I'm holdin' you to that," Eli cut in.

The cat girl didn't accept my answer. She strode up to my chair and grabbed my hand, stuffing the ticket into it and keeping my fingers pressed tightly so I wouldn't let go. Her paw-like hand had a velvety softness that heated my whole body.

“I can't!" she said. “I don't want it either if it means getting one the way that I did. What you saw tonight wasn't me. That was...disgusting. I don't deserve to meet someone acting like such a fake, and I definitely didn't deserve to get one out of pity because I cried about it. If I'm fated to meet someone someday, then I want them to like me. I just...want to go home and forget this ever happened tonight."

She released my fingers, waiting for my reaction as I stared at the ticket. Eli cocked an eyebrow and gave a few soft claps of his hands.

“Guess that's that," he said. “You did a good deed tonight, and you got your reward for it. Takes a lotta maturity to put someone else's happiness above your own. You both have a lot more promise than some of the others that came here tonight, if I'm bein' frank. Well, thanks for helpin' out tonight, kid. I hope you find your dream come true in that—"

I wasn't listening to Eli. I stood up from my chair and set the ticket down in front of him. Ta'Best wouldn't accept it. I wouldn't accept it. By process of elimination, there was one more person it could go to, and I had no doubt he deserved it more than any of us.

“Here, Eli. Happy Valentine's Day."

There was a different kind of blankness in his expression—not the stoic, laissez-faire attitude he normally had, but one that showed he was completely taken aback. A torrent of thoughts rushed behind his eyes, and I wished I could see even one of them. He wasn't being dramatic or funny, either. He was sincerely trying to find a response to the situation I just sprung on him. When he found a word, it wasn't much at all.

“What?"

“I don't recall you saying there was anyone I couldn't give a ticket to," I said. “You just flat out told me, 'you'll know when you see 'em,' and you also spent the last ten minutes or so telling me about how you never got the chance to keep one. I think it's your turn then, right?"

Eli blinked, still no comeback to be found. “Yeah, but...that's not, I mean...the whole point was...." He was fully shaken.

“So, take it! Neither of us wanted it after all," I said, motioning to the cat girl and myself, “And if I come back next time, I don't want to hear you complaining about how you turned down your chance to take a ticket when there's one right in front of you. I can get by tonight with just the 'warm fuzzies' of making everyone else's dream come true, so don't worry about me."

The ragged man picked up the ticket, holding it like it was genuinely the first time he had ever seen anything like it. He looked to me and Ta'Best for one last confirmation, and we nodded our approval. Eli scratched his neck and then fidgeted with his hat. He tried to pull it lower over his eyes, but he wasn't fast enough to hide the small droplet that bubbled up and escaped down his cheek. He wiped away the trail with a brush of his sleeve and stood up. The way he swayed in place made me worried, but he found his footing and snapped to a rigid stance.

“Kid...I...heh, thanks. I'm...never gonna forget this. I...ah, shoot, I gotta get goin'!"

Eli looked at the hallway leading deeper into the building and rubbed his neck again. He sprung toward the front door, then spun in place and patted himself down in a “looking for the wallet" way.

“Just...I'll come back to clean everythin' up later. You can head home when you're ready to go. The place'll lock itself up behind you. Well, have a good night, you two!"

And for the first time since I met the guy, Eli's frown cracked into a feeble smile as he gave us a farewell wave. He almost broke into a skip as he threw open the door and slipped out into the night. The lights throughout the building dimmed, marking the true end to Valentine's Day and the matchmaking event. It was only Ta'Best and me left.

I walked to Eli's side of the desk and sat in his chair, kicking my feet up to mimic the strange, ragged man. “Guess this'll be my spot next time. I, uh, I'm sorry again about what happened tonight. I guess you were right: we both ended up without someone."

The cat girl took the other chair, smiling with reassurance.

“No, no. I'm already getting over it," she said. “I...don't really want to forget this whole night after all. Just the parts when I made a fool of myself. I'm glad so many others got to start a happy life with someone they'll really love, though."

I took another drink from my beer. The cat girl licked her lips at the sight of the bottle, then looked out at the hallway to the lounges.

“I should have taken more punch," she sighed. “Crying your eyes out really makes you thirsty."

“He might have another beer somewhere in here," I said, pulling open the desk drawer. “Don't know what he used to open them tho—"

I was looking right at the drinks, yet I instantly forgot all about them. Something else was in the drawer that was more enthralling, sitting patiently on top of the bottles.

Two gold-gilded tickets, just like the ones from tonight.

“No...how?" I said.

“What's wrong?" Ta'Best said. She gasped loudly when I showed her the tickets. “How!?"

“I know, right!?" I couldn't help but laugh.

Was Eli lying all this time? How could he have missed these otherwise? I handed one to the cat girl and kept the other for myself. Neither one of us wanted to be the first to open theirs, so we looked at one another and silently agreed to open them in unison. The seals snapped crisply.

The inside was largely plain, with a short, handwritten message perfectly in the center of the paper.

Hey, buddy.

Thanks again for your help tonight. I'm sorry I couldn't help you

have a special Valentine's Day, so I want to reward you properly

for all your help. If you're not doing anything important

tomorrow, I hope you can come back here around 7pm. You're going

to need the included ticket, so don't lose it, alright? Oh, and

make sure you dress well for this one.

Best of luck to you, kid!

ELI M.S.

(Master of Surprises)

A small stub of paper slipped out of a hidden sleeve in the ticket. It was a much smaller ticket than the folded cardstock I was handing out all night, and it had pitch black ink printed on it with a time and some other rather cryptic information.

[7:00 PM. ADMIT 1 (ONE) HUMAN MALE. NON-REFUNDABLE.]

I looked up at Ta'Best, who had just finished reading over her own ticket. When our eyes met, she cleared her throat and shifted her sight away.

“A-anyway, I should get going as well. It was a pleasure to meet you tonight, and...umm...thank you!"

She ran off to the door and out into the night. I jumped to my feet and gave chase, curious to see where she would go. But when I opened the door the second after it closed behind her, I was looking out at the fog-covered street. No Ta'Best or Eli anywhere to be found. The building was locked behind me, with its windows devoid of the pink glow.

I felt hungover the next day, which should have been impossible thanks to how little I had to drink. A cloud covered my mind as I woke up late in the morning. I tried to think back to whatever it was I had dreamed the previous night; it was like sifting through sand to find the buried artifacts. A party in some pink lounge. A ragged man in an oversized coat. Animals and monsters filling the rooms from floor to ceiling. An elusive ticket that promised happiness and a lifelong companion.

A ticket?

I looked to the table beside my bed. There it was. The thick, gilded paper that contained a ticket stub. It wasn't a dream, and I was supposed to go back to that building in the evening. Any grogginess I had left from my slumber was shaken off instantly as the entire night played through my mind on rerun. I couldn't believe what I had seen was actually real. I found it even harder to believe that I was allowed to stumble my way back home after seeing the things I did. Normally, a tale of some bumbling human finding a secret world of strange creatures included the threat that he'd have to stay quiet about what he discovered. I almost felt cheated by Eli's lack of warning me about what I had gone through.

Most of my afternoon was spent thinking about the previous night, but I was diligently aware of what time it was throughout the day. I had another “appointment" to show up at, and now that I had a better idea of what could be in store for me, I knew I didn't want to be late. I set aside some dress clothes for the evening, combing through for any dust and loose threads. I kept checking up on the stack of clothes as if I expected them to get up and walk to the address without me. What was I getting so worked up for? It was like I was preparing for a date that I was never actually asked out for.

I gave myself even more time than before to make it to the address. The fog capped the ends of the carless street once again, but the pink glow was missing. There was only darkness in the windows. I started to panic as I parked sloppily along the side of the road. The place was exactly like I had left it, when I knew I was the last one out and the building had shut down all signs of activity. But that wouldn't dissuade me. I dashed up to the door and nearly tumbled inside.

The spacious lounge room with the single office desk was gone. In less than a day, it had been converted into an antiquated, but tidy train station. It was far more cramped than what Eli had greeted me in just the previous night, with a scarce few lanterns illuminating the ancient wooden architecture. A pair of ticket counters with closed shutters flanked both sides of a surprisingly modern set of turnstiles, which led to a wide staircase that descended into a dark void. Nobody, human or monster, seemed to be manning any of the counters, but I felt a presence somewhere below.

I walked up to the turnstiles, giving the bars a testing nudge. There didn't look to be anything to stop me from jumping the bars, but an ominous chill at the back of my neck silenced the thought. Fortunately, a narrow slot on the turnstile gates welcomed tickets, the perfect size for the one I earned from the night before. I stuffed the ticket in, and a resounding clunk vibrated the gate. With another cautious push, the bars rotated to let me through. There was no turning back now.

Every step I took down the stone stairs declared my presence with an acoustic tap. Only a dim light somewhere at the bottom kept my descent from being in absolute darkness, but the further I ventured the more my eyes adjusted to the change. Down I went, an odyssey of stairs to overcome. I would have chanced sliding down a handrail if I could even find one. I picked up the pace halfway down, nearly jogging the rest of the way. The coolness of the subterranean air was offset by my increased body heat. Almost there now....

Finally I reached the bottom in what was clearly an underground subway station. Empty tracks off in the distance carried no running railcars, and no roaring sounds of arriving or departing passengers came from either end of the tunnels. There didn't seem to be any activity going on for such an important looking travel hub; maybe I was too late, or possibly even too early. However, the subway itself wasn't what I was summoned for, at least for this night. Not too far from the loading platforms, a small station café was open for business. Its warmth and light invited me over.

I stepped inside the cozy café without hesitation. There was only room for a handful of small tables, the service counter, and an ancient piano in the back corner. Sitting at the sole occupied table was a familiar face.

“O-oh! I...wasn't expecting to see you here!" Ta'Best said.

The creamy cat girl was much more casually dressed since the last time I had seen her, with a modest, sleeveless turtleneck and none of the fake airs she had put on a night ago. I felt uncomfortably overdressed in comparison.

“Good to see you again, Ta'Best," I said.

The cat girl shivered at the nickname. She wasn't angry, but she scoffed as though I had told her a bad joke.

“You can just call me 'Tabs,'" she said. “It's what my friends call me. Friends who aren't annoying sisters with terrible ideas."

“I can go with 'Tabs,'" I replied, holding my hands up in apology. “So, I take it your 'ticket' told you to come here, too?"

The cat girl nodded.

“The...'ticket to love' that was supposed to help you find the perfect date?"

Tabs nodded again, biting her lip.

My legs carried me over to the table and sat me down autonomously. All I had control over was my arms, helping me make sure I didn't bump anything over while I took in the full sight of the feline at the table. She rubbed her arm bashfully as I got closer.

“I...understand if you think this might be a mistake," Tabs said, avoiding eye contact. “No offense, but you didn't seem like you knew what was going on last night. I get it...if you don't really want to be here."

I still had the folded ticket in my jacket pocket. I propped it up on the tiny table like a dinner menu and peered at the cat girl over the top of it.

“You're not wrong. There's a lot I don't understand, especially about what happened with all those people and all that matchmaking stuff. But I just sort of went along with it, and things seemed to work out for me in the end. I got this ticket, and I was told those who got one would be going home with 'the one' that was right for them...summarizing a bit. And so, if I did everything I was told, and the ticket brought me here, and it brought you here too...."

The sudden arrival of another figure cut the mood short and made both of us jump.

“Ergh, sorry I'm late," Eli said, throwing his arms through a snug vest. He was dressed in an outfit that made me think of an old-time barbershop quartet member, but the oversized knit hat clashed with the rest of the style. He marched over to the vacant piano and set a small place card on the top.

[Eli M.S.]

(Musical Savant)

“Got some drinks and a meal prepared for you lovebirds," he said with a crack of his knuckles. “Should be comin' out in a few."

The bizarre stranger began to play a hauntingly beautiful melody, completely engrossed in his performance as if giving us permission to ignore him.

Tabs looked back into my eyes. There was some fear in hers—those slitted, emerald beauties—along with traces of hope and longing. Maybe even some admiration? Eli had plainly told me that my mind had become open to new possibilities, and even though I never imagined I could be going on a date with a two-legged cat woman, I was far from opposed to the idea. I opened my mouth to confess to Tabs my willingness to get to know her, and she nodded in anticipation, knowing full well where I was going with my words.

“Hey, Tabs, would you like to...?"

“Uh huh! Y-yeah!"

“With me?"

“Of course!"

“So, uh, how is this going to work, then? Do you have a place I could—?"

“Train pass should come in the mail in a few days, by the way" Eli cut in. “Had to jump through some hoops to get it, but I know someone who took care of it."

I looked to Tabs, who was much more understanding of Eli's interjection than I clearly was.

“Yes, I have a home here, uh, on the other side, I mean," she said. “I-I'm looking forward to having you visit.

“There's a lot you're going to have to teach me about where you come from," I said with a chuckle. If Eli was never going to fill me in on what had just transpired over the last twenty-four hours, I would need someone to educate me about this new world my mind had been opened up to.

Tabs must have heard something saucy in the word “teach," because her throat gave off a faint, rumbling purr in response.

“Of course! That's the least I could do to repay you! Whenever you get your pass ready, you can come back here, and I'll meet you just like this, and we can get on the train together to back to my place, and you can meet all my friends and my...SIS!?"

Two coffees were placed between us, delivered by another cat woman who bore a striking resemblance to Tabs. This one had yellow skin-like fur as opposed to Tabs' creamy color, and she wore a smile that stretched from one ear to the other.

“The food will be just a little while longer," the sister cat said. “Only Ta'Best for my dear sister."

Damn, she beat me to it.

The sister cat sauntered over to Eli's piano and took a seat beside him. The wide grin she carried passed on to the ragged man, to the point where I could practically see him smiling even from behind.

“That's some amazing luck how your ticket led you to your special someone so quickly, Eli," I said wryly. “You two are hitting it off so well already!"

The piano notes warbled in discord as Eli fumbled up his keys. His feline mate snickered and draped an arm around his shoulder.

“Cat's out of the bag, I suppose," she whispered loudly in his ear. “We can tell them the truth some other day."

I returned my attention to my own new friend—my date. Maybe my soon-to-be girlfriend. Tabs had already started a long, unbroken fixation on me, resting her chin on a paw as she watched our future play out in the reflection of my eyes. I offered my hand to take her other paw, intertwining our fingers as we enjoyed each other's company. I could feel her thin, feline tail curl around my leg, remaining there for the rest of the evening together.

“Happy Valentine's Day," we mouthed together.