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The day continued on much in the same way. Nurses would come and go and I spent time talking with Garrett. He really was a different person now. The day drug by in comfortable peace and Lucy eventually walked through the door as well. She was flustered and mortified and all of the emotions that pulled at my heart. She apologized profusely for nearly 10 straight minutes even though I constantly told her it was okay. Our conversation finally steered to better topics when I asked her what Mary was talking about. Of course me and Garrett had absolutely no idea what she was saying, but seeing her so animated was amusing enough. She had just about reached something about suspension theory when Mrs. Reynolds walked back in.

“Alright Andrew, let’s remove those old bandages and let the skin breathe.” I slipped the gown from my shoulders and leaned forward to let her have better access. The cool air against that bare skin was pleasant enough but the startled gasp had me looking over my shoulder at her. I felt her hand running along the area on my back but she didn’t say anything. I was really growing concerned with the lack of explanation.

“What is it? I’m going to be alright… right? Don’t tell me something else is wrong…” That seemed to snap her out of it and she continues unravelling the bandages.

“Oh I wouldn’t say anything’s wrong but you should have told me you were a healer.” That had everyone’s attention.

“What do you mean I’m a healer?”

“Well this area here,” I feel her lightly touch between my shoulder blades but I couldn’t see. Lucy and Garrett both peek around to look at what she was showing. It really irked me that I couldn’t see for myself. “Is healing differently than I had done.” She moves her fingers higher on my back to the edge of where the burns were. “But look at this. The hair is starting to grow back.” I hear Lucy’s voice over my shoulder.

“Oh, wow… this already looks so much better. Will it fully heal?”

“It’s possible. I did what I could but I didn’t really expect much of the fur to grow back. Andrew has proven to be full of surprises.”

“Andrew is sitting right here and would like an explanation…” Lucy steps around the bed with a big smile.

“You… are… a… healer.” She sounded that out slowly and I roll my eyes. “You can heal yourself and possibly others!”

“But I’m not doing anything! I’m just sitting here…” Mrs. Reynolds stops unraveling and steps around to where she can see my eyes. She studies my face for a second.

“His innate passive healing is exceptionally high. He could very well be a high class healer… or have no additional ability beyond what is shown. He really needs to have his testing done.” I huff a large breath through my nose.

“Agent Delaine made that abundantly clear as well. I’ll probably be drug off the moment you release me.”

“I’ll recommend as least some time for rest after I release you but… you’re probably right. The sooner we have the testing done the sooner you can begin training.” That really perked my ears up.

“Training?” She nods her head and then resumes removing the bandages around my arms.

“You are a mage. Even if you have shown exceptional control you need to have formal training. I’ll put in a good word though.”

“Formal training? Like what?”

“She means school Andrew.” My tail was wagging hard at that.

“I get to go to school? But wait… does that mean I won’t go with Lucy anymore…?” My tail had stopped and ears drooped again. Garrett ruffles my head between my ears.

“Don’t worry about that yet. This is such a unique case I honestly don’t know what’s going to happen. They are still sorting out who the new head master is going to be so classes have been suspended for Lucy.” She squirms in place a little bit trying to build courage to say something. Her voice is meek and her eyes are down cast.

“I don’t know if I still want to go there dad… with mom back, and everything that happened…” She stopped talking when Garrett pulled her into a hug.

“Shh, it’s okay, you don’t have to go anywhere you don’t want to but you do have to go to school.” Agent Delaine quietly stepped into the room but stayed to the side. It appeared that only I had noticed her.

“I know you were proud that I got in though… and mom would want me to keep learning at the best possible school.”

“Honey… I’m proud of everything you do. Your mother and I just want you to be happy.”

“I know dad. Thanks. I’ll try though… be a real shame to lose access to that library.” That lightened the mood as intended so I added.

“You’re only allowed to go back there if I get to ask everybody questions.” I tapped my nose and wiggled my eyebrows. Everyone but me jumped when they heard Delaine’s voice.

“Might not be a bad idea actually.” Mrs. Reynolds whirled around and pointed a finger at her.

“Don’t sneak up on me. I could have been starting an IV!” Agent Delaine’s hands are in front of her as she is continually fussed at. She finally stamps her foot and huffs. “Well add this to your list, he has yet another ability.” Delaine simply blinks before mouthing ‘really’. She didn’t look like she even wanted to know but eventually caved.

“Ugh, fine… what is it?” Mrs. Reynolds appeared to have way too much fun with this.

“He has a relatively high passive regenerative ability. He very well might be a healer.” Delaine just lets out a defeated sigh.

“Of course… I mean that’s great. We always need healers.” She turned to me before continuing. “I thought we agreed no more surprises?”

“I didn’t know… you believe me right…?” She deflated and nodded.

“Yes I believe you. It just means more paperwork and meetings. But I’ll take care of it don’t you worry.” Garrett steps in briefly.

“Not to sound ungrateful for the work but… that doesn’t sound like something an agent should have to tackle.” Her laugh was forced but not mean.

“No, this is not the work I should be doing, but if I didn’t do it than the department would. That’s who those two men were. I’ll easily swallow my pride to keep them at bay. That’s actually the reason I’m back here.”

“What men? Wait… they sent someone from publics!?”

“They sure did Garrett… thought he could step above the law to take Andrew away. Not while he is my patient.”

“I just wanted to drop by and give warning that this incident will be investigated.” She holds her hand up to stop Mrs. Reynolds from interrupting. “It’s just a heads up. There is no reason to believe that it will progress any further than that.”

“Thank you for the warning.” Finally Delaine refocuses on me with a scrutinizing gaze.

“Anything else to add to my report?” I shake my head. “Can’t fly? Breathe underwater? Turn silver to gold?” Each one was met with a shake of my head. “When he’s fit to leave I want to know. You’re taking the test at the first chance we get…” I answered with a meek ‘yes ma’am’ and she turned and walked out the door. The rest of the day was calm with both Garrett and Lucy returning to be with Mary. I got some rest despite the constant flow of nurses. The next few days came and went by at a leisurely pace. Even though I was enjoying the rest I was getting antsy sitting in bed most of the day. It seemed that most of the hair would grow back by the time that Mrs. Reynolds informed me I would be discharged later in the day. It seemed likely that I would be sporting a scar across my back for the rest of my life but that never bothered me much; scars are a sign of bravery for Lycans after all. The day rolled closed with a goodbye from Mrs. Reynolds. Agent Delaine was waiting for me at the door with a wicked grin. It felt like a death march on the way to her car but she laughed when I buckled in. “Relax Andrew. It’s not going to be bad I promise.” That settled my nerves enough for the ride.

“What’s going to happen?” She glances at me before returning her eyes to the road.

“Everything will be explained in full when we get there. Ask as many questions as you need for each step of the way. We are looking for accurate results not guesses. I’ll be right beside you since Garrett is busy, I hope that’s okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. I’m nervous but excited.”

“Good! You should be excited. We get to see just what you can do and then you can begin your journey of improvement.” Were I not seated my tail would be wagging a storm. The facility was smaller than I expected, looking to be about the size of a football field and 3 stories tall. I was ushered in and had to fill out some sheets on the clipboard I was given. Most of the information was basic but it eventually asked for known abilities. Agent Delaine helped me complete the forms and we were asked to wait in a separate room with a few other families. I was by far the oldest one there and got a few strange looks. I could smell the agitation in the room when I was called ahead of the others but no comment was made. We entered a large room with various tables throughout. We approached the first table in the center and a voice came over the speaker system.

“Alright Andrew, we are just about ready to begin. How do you feel?”

“I’m a little nervous.”

“That’s perfectly normal. Let’s take a minute and talk about what this first test is. All you need to do is channel a small amount of energy into your palm and place it on that metal disc in the table. Most of these tests will be like that. You don’t need much so don’t worry and take your time. What we’ll learn from this is your affinity profile. Around the table in front of you are elemental stones. Those stones will react with the energy you provide so that we can visually see the data. Do you think you’re ready?” I nod my head and take a calming breath. “We are ready when you are Andrew.” I pooled a small amount of energy into my paw and placed it on the metal disc. Small lights blinked on the table and streaks of light slowly traveled from the disc to each of the stones around the table. When the light connected with each stone a few things happened all at once. A dark red stone burst into flame reaching 3 foot in the air and small crackles of electricity arced from a yellow stone to the table. Those were the most obvious affects that were seen but various other stones showed signs of life as well including a stone glowing light green. “That’s wonderful Andrew, we have the data recorded you can remove your hand.” The moment my paw left the table everything went quiet.

“That was very good. Are you ready to move on to table number 2?” Feeling in much better spirits as we walked over to the next table which had a foam ball and a couple hoops along with 5 metal discs. The goal for that table was control which I used the metal discs as a game pad to move the ball around the course. The next few tables were used to test finite control of each of my limbs with similar games but much smaller control pads. I made my way quickly around the room at the praise of both the agent and whoever was on the speaker system. The last table was very plain with 2 large discs and a single glass vase and what looked like a flower I had never seen before. “This last table will let us see what types of magic you can work with. It will be similar to the very first table where you don’t need to do much more than place your palms on the table and focus a small amount of energy into each.” I shrugged my shoulders did what she had asked.

The feeling was different; an odd pulling and pushing of energy. The vase that contained the flower reacted in interesting ways. One moments the color of the petals would change hues ever so slightly to turning black and withering. I was about to voice my concern when the leafs and petals bloomed once again from the black ash. The whole process took merely 15 seconds and left me feeling roughly the same as I had started. “Very good Andrew. We are nearly done now. Just a few more tests.”

I was allowed to skip over the ‘unlocking’ room since they had data from Mrs. Reynolds on the matter which had me stepping into a final room that mimicked the feel of our training field. Agent Delaine was asked to wait outside for this final test. The instructions were straight forward; attack the puppet with as much as I safely could. I was asked to do an attack that was contact driven and also a ranged one. I was left winded after I put as much as I could into each attack that hadn’t left a mark on the puppet. If I didn’t know any better that might have irked me but I knew that the puppets were linked to the energy grid of the building and could really take a beating. “Very good Andrew. We have one final test and then you will be allowed to leave. I don’t want you to be alarmed but this one is not pleasant. Ms. Delaine can explain it to you if you would prefer?” I feel unnerved by this but take a quick breath and remind myself that the agent was on my side.

“That won’t be necessary. If Delaine has brought me here I will trust her judgment.”

“Okay, thank you for trusting us. I’ll start by explaining a few of the basics. Every mage has a pool of energy that they can always access, think of it like a glass of water; the bigger the glass the stronger the mage. Each mage also has an energy pump that will fill the glass back up; the stronger the pump the quicker you recover. That is what we tested earlier. We looked at how large a glass and how strong a pump. Every mage also has an emergency glass of magic that is only tapped into under large amounts of stress. During our extreme fight or flight response our bodies can get access to many more times the energy that is normally usable. That is what we are going to test last. We are going to activate your fight response to read your current maximum. We will be monitoring you the entire time and if at any point it is deemed unsafe for you the test will end. Everyone reacts differently to the testing but rest assured what happens will be kept confidential. Only the results will be shared to the respective departments. Everything you say and do is confidential. Do you have any questions?”

“Will agent Delaine see this?”

“No Andrew. Even I will only be monitoring your vitals and energy levels. No one will be allowed to see without your permission.” My stomach was still in knots but that was a relief. I didn’t want anyone to see this side of me. I spared Lucy a lot of the feelings I had in my dream as I had a feeling that is what will be brought up again. I nodded my head and braced myself.

“I’m ready. Let’s get this over with.” I heard a faint hiss a few seconds later and began to notice a slightly rotten egg smell in the room. The smell grew in strength and I tried to block my nose with my paw. The fur tickled and caused me to sneeze repeatedly. When I finally stopped and opened my eyes I wasn’t in that room anymore. I was surrounded by trees and earth. The air was fresh and calm when I took a deep lungful. My ears pivoted with each chirp and rustle of leaves. I was home… but what was I doing? All at once I remembered; we got a deer and I needed to tell everyone. My spirits were high as I followed that familiar path. I ran my paw along the foliage that I had walked past for all my life. I felt a tingle in the air that had my stomach drop. Before I could blink I was at the clearing to the woods. I could see her and feel the energy digging into the soil. I tried to run to her and tell her to stop but my body wouldn’t respond. She looks up and smiles before blood drips from her muzzle and her eyes roll back. In a blink I’m by her side, holding her to my chest. I hear her voice in my ear.

“Why didn’t you come sooner? Why didn’t you warn me? You killed me… you killed me!!” She’s gone from my arms and I’m frantically searching for her.

“Mom? Mom!? I didn’t…” I’m curled up on my knees crying into the ground when I hear my father’s voice.

“Where’s your mother…? What have you done…?” I look down and my paws are stained black with blood. “What have you done…?” His eyes grow wide and blood trickles from his nose. Right in front of me he falls face first in the dirt. Standing behind where he was is Junahn. The spear he had in his paws was dripping blood and he defiantly stood in front of me. He waved his spear and blood dripped off and splattered across my muzzle. He rested his foot on my father’s back and snarled at me.

“You are a blight. I will be praised for removing this curse from our village.” I finally felt the anger. My world narrowed dangerously on the enemy standing in front of me. These aren’t my people. I’m not the curse… they are. We would be better off without them... His features illuminated with the dancing orange lights radiating off my body. I easily blocked the spear that he thrust at me and grab his paw. I could smell the burnt hair and flesh that sizzled in my grasp. He didn't wince or move in the slightest. “You will find no peace among us. You no longer have a home, demon.” I pulled everything I had to my right paw; the power building dangerously in an orb that grew larger by the second. Every beat of my heart threatened to break my hold on the energy I held. I condensed the power until it was only slightly larger than my fist. I saw nothing but hate when I looked in his eyes. I didn't recognize my voice at first; it was higher pitched as if I was 13 again.

"You took everything... You will find no sympathy from me." He spits in my face.

"You are not Suumahn. You were never Suumahn." I wipe the spit from my muzzle and catch the taste of blood; the blood of my father. I bring my paw up and hold it in front of his chest. The energy was just an angry red marble that vibrated violently. I hear his cackling as I let the energy go. The flash of light and heat forced me to close my eyes and turn my head. I still heard his cackling when I could finally look back in front of me. He wasn't there anymore and behind where he stood was a long channel of blackened trees and scorched earth. My legs trembled at the destruction in front of me. I found that I was having trouble seeing and had to blink the tears out of my eyes as the world grew blurry. No matter how much I rubbed my eyes the blurriness persisted. The sun must have pierced through the clouds because the world suddenly seemed brighter. The world snaps back into focus and I can see clearly again; the testing field is just like I remember it. The past few minutes are hazy in my memory and I can’t put my finger on it.

“Andrew? Can you hear me?” The voice is muffled so I try messaging my ears. Regardless I nod my head.

“I heard you.”

“Good, good, we are done now. How do you feel?”

“Um, fine? Confused and drained... though… I can’t remember much of the last test.”

“That is normal and a part of the test. We found that remembering and living a mages deepest fear can have adverse psychological effects so we induce short term memory loss for just the last part. If you’re ready, you can exit through the door with the red light.” That was an alarming piece of information. I don’t know when I went in the room so I can’t tell exactly how long I was in there. They could have done anything while I was in there... but I don’t feel different. I patted myself down to make sure nothing seemed out of place when I noticed something that had me blushing.

“Um, I seem to have misplaced or destroyed my clothes.”

“Right, right, fire affinity. We’ll find something for you don’t worry… just hang out in there for a little longer.” I was finally allowed to leave the room and found a large hoodie and sweatpants to be the way I covered myself. I met up with agent Delaine after a brief meeting with the co-ordinator. She was a nice woman and I got a sucker out of the deal so it couldn't have all been bad. Me and Delaine sat down in a separate room to discuss the results. With agent Delaine there the co-ordinator was able to leave and give more tests which left us by ourselves. She flips through the pages while I lick the sucker; mmm, cherry.

"Okay, so, primary affinity is easily fire by a large margin followed by healing with some influence with water, earth, electricity, and gravitational force. Keep in mind that you can learn any spell but you may have more trouble with spells that fall outside of your affinity. It looks like you have quite the special opportunity. Like what Mrs. Reynolds found out your left arm is different from your right. I wouldn’t be surprised if you can fuse magic with some training which is quite uncommon. Basic control is exceptional but finite control is average." She drums her chin for a second before turning the paper to show me. "Your power levels are slightly below average if you look here." She point to a section on the paper had some numbers written. "The average for your age is around 2500 Pells and you clocked in at 1200 which I would guess is not bad for an untrained mage." I noticed a small note on the page and point it out to her.

"This says the test has a scaling factor to prevent exhaustion." She grabs the page from my hand and looks over it again.

"My apologies Andrew, you in fact fall above the average with 3600. I know I shouldn't be surprised any more but..." She flips the page over and continues reading. "The average fight response level is 12,400, can you guess what you scored?" I rub the back of my neck.

"12,400...?"

"Close... try 10,000"

"So below average for that?" She nods her head with a soft smile. “I’m sure that it will increase as you get formal training though.” I met her smile with one of my own and felt my tail waving behind me. “That is still a very good level to start learning at, although I’ll recommend slightly more advanced classes to help gain knowledge quicker. I don’t think there is a need for you to study with 9 year olds.”

“Aw, but I would be first pick at recess…” She meets my smirk with a smile and a soft laugh.

"The average ‘panic’ level for a mage your age is 19,000 which is roughly 1.5 times the fight response. You managed only 12,000 which again points to a slight lack of fundamentals."

"I’m not sure how this scale works. What exactly is a ‘Pell’?” She puts her hands together on the table.

“Just an old way of measurement decided by an old fart a long time ago. Roderick M. Pell decided that a single Pell is equivalent to the magic energy needed to lift a mass weighing ½ a pound for a full second. There wasn’t any better unit so it just kind of stuck. That has recently been adjusted to account for a mage with zero ability to move objects. It was also discovered that as mass increases the energy drain is not always linear for each mage.” I simply nod my head along with what she had said.

“If I fall below average for most than what does that mean for adult mages? How much could I expect to improve?”

“I suppose that depends on each individual. Some never make it further than you have.”

“Oh… do adults take the test often? Where does that put you?” I was immediately assaulted with a concoction of smells but she appeared exactly the same. Before I could reply she beat me to it after clearing her throat.

“Much like how you should never ask a woman her weight it is considered rude to ask about testing scores.” She holds a hand up to keep me quite but my ears splay back and eyes widen. “It’s okay. I know you have a lot to learn and it’s good to be curious. I can’t divulge true numbers do to security reasons but I had a rating of 40000 when I first applied for the agency; now that was quite a few years ago."

“You’ve been an agent for a while… I’m not your worst case am I?” I didn’t believe I was but then again I had no real frame of reference. Her smile never faded as she sets the paper work down.

“No Andrew. I’ve dealt with cases much worse.” She puts a hand on my shoulder and gives me a reassuring squeeze. “That’s not to say you aren’t a handful. But I’ll gladly help someone that has a super sweet heart that is just a tad bit misinformed.” I couldn’t stop my ears from splaying to the side bashfully.

“Thanks… for everything. I don’t know where I would be if you hadn’t been there." I didn’t let her cut in. I knew what she would say. “I’m serious. I was terrified and thinking the worst had come true. That whole time in the hospital and with Burkley… I was on edge. It’s not your job to be soft and sweet… you protect everyone and I was a threat. I threatened a nurse… held her hostage…” I felt sick to my stomach again just thinking about it. It took me a moment to continue. “You should have knocked me out… or worse, could have… but you were patient instead; more patient than you had any right to be.” My eyes had drifted to the floor but I remade eye contact and fought to keep any tears from spilling. “I know I’ve said it before. Thank you. Thank you for giving me a chance and protecting me and my family…” I lapsed into silence on the verge of tears. I was slowly embraced in a hug which didn’t help my predicament of trying not to cry; neither did the hand that lightly rubbed my back.

"It was easy to see. Even in those tense moments when we first met. You are a good ki… young man. I’m not perfect; nobody is perfect. I’ve made mistakes in my past that still keep me up at night. It’s important that we continue to learn. Mistakes are natural; it’s not possible to make the right choice every time.” She had pulled away from the hug and wiped a few stray tears from my cheek. “We can’t undo the mistakes of our past but we can try and make up for them in the present and future.” The future… that put a small wag in my tail and raised my spirits considerably.

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The future, it turned out, sucks. It’s been 3 weeks since I got out of the hospital, two weeks since I was allowed to start back on my house hold duties, and 2 days since my last therapy meeting. I thought this would be the best chance I could get… Lucy would be so happy now and I could try and tell her how I feel… She’s happy, that much is true; happily ignoring me. It feels personal now. At first I thought it was just the fact that she had her mom back and had so much to talk about but I haven’t gotten a word in all afternoon. I try to talk to her but she brushes me off… everyone brushes me off. I don’t know why. Even training time has dwindled to nothing. I thought we could share a mutual fascination for magic but I bore her. Now that I’ve tried to practice and learn I feel like it’s harder and harder to focus… and instead of trying to help me she ignores me. I guess I’m not worth her time anymore…

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I don’t want to be here anymore. I can’t stand this. The therapist insists it’s my fault. I’m not the one that didn’t try! I poured my heart out for them. I nearly sacrificed everything I had for them… but it’s my fault. He did recommend one good thing though. They want to let me try and find closure with mom. I can do that. Some rights of a Suumahn extend beyond exile. I’m not coming back with them though. This isn’t my home anymore.

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“This is as far as I can take you. The woods beyond here are Suman territory.” I ran my paw along a tree and saw the mark of my tribe and bit back the urge to correct his pronunciation. It looked just as I remembered as I traced the lines. I turn back to our guide and give him a sullen nod of my head.

“Thank you.” I didn’t mean it. I wasn’t here for pleasantries.

“Take care. We haven’t heard anything recently, but they are still considered hostile.”

“I’m well aware of that.” I mutter under my breath. I feel Lucy's hand on my shoulder, but I shrug it off and turn back to the forest. I don’t need her reminders to be respectful… “Thank you for the warning. We will be careful.” With a quick wave of his hand he was gone back in the direction we had walked in. Crossing the territory markers was an unnerving experience. I expected an attack to befall us as any moment, but nothing came about. I could feel a growl edging in my throat as we passed by more territory markers. We walked slowly through the woods for 20 minutes before I picked up the movements around us. I stopped the group and addressed them softly. “Stay put. Don’t make any movements like I told you; hands at your side and shields at minimum." I look directly at Lucy. "Stay put.” I walked further into the woods until the trees blocked my vision of the group I came with. I knew I was surrounded and kept my arms out to my side and came to a stop. I only had to wait a few moments before a male only slightly older than me stepped forward. I didn’t recognize him, he must have come from another tribe.

“You are not welcome here. Leave.” I kept my gaze level even as he took on a more aggressive posture.

“I enact my right to honor the resting.” I keep my arms out as he approaches. His posture is only just a little less threatening when he stands in front of me.

“Who are you? Why have you brought humans?” A small smile crosses my muzzle.

"They wouldn't let me come alone. They won't be any trouble."

I could see him bristle at that and direct his spear a little more threateningly. The fact that I didn’t change my posture at all and his sniffing nose had him relax only slightly. "They aren't welcome this close to the village. That much should be known even for a traveler." The growl was back in my throat and I tried to rein it in.

"I'm not a traveler." His eyes are darting around me, but his posture holds a hostile edge. He takes a small step forward.

"Who are you?"

Before I could say anything, I sense magic a short distance away and closing fast. My ears swivel in the direction I felt the tingle, but I don’t hear anything. The wolf in front of me looks that way briefly before canting his head slightly. I jump slightly when I feel that presence suddenly shift to my other side. I keep my arms to my side but look in this direction. I know I feel the tingle of magic, but I see nothing but the forest which has my hackles raised. The feeling dissolves and panic fires through me when I feel it again right behind me. A quarter second later I feel a pressure around my neck and a weight land on my back. As I pull my arms up to hook my paws into the arms around my neck, I see the shocked and horrified expression on the wolf in front of me. My mind was running overdrive as I collected as much data as I could in this short window of time. The thing that stood out immediately was that I wasn’t being choked. The next thing that I noticed was how light the person or object felt but what really made me stop my arms, a few inches away from grabbing, was the high pitched ‘Daddy’ that followed the pounce.

I stood still with eyes narrowed and heart racing. As the seconds ticked by I realized that I was being nuzzled by whoever was hanging from me but I had no idea what to do. I decided that this wasn't a threat. I took a deep breath and returned my paws to my previous, non-threatening position and held eye contact with the wolf that had approached me. The daggers I was glaring must have woke him back up because he finally found his voice and yelled out.

“Ennenna get off of him now!” I heard a yelp and the weight was released from my neck to slide down my back. That same high pitch voice whines out.

“But why…?”

“That’s not your dad! Get away from him right now!” I hear a little squeak and catch their tail slipping behind a large tree beside us. It takes effort to control my breathing and for a few moments silence reigns between us. His level of stress was elevated to an all-time high and took him a second to focus. “I’m sorry… pups will be pups?” I was still distracted by my racing heart, but I nod my head in agreement. I'm startled by a loud yell from further in the woods.

“Ennennaaaa!!!” My heart drops to my hind paws and my throat very quickly feels like a desert. That tone, it stirs memories deep within me and has my legs trembling. Every time I blink the image of her covered in blood flashes before me. I can’t close my eyes because her image is burned in my eyelids, so I stare wide eyed. I take a couple staggered steps back until I see the blur of white through the trees. I feel sick. I could see her standing at the edge, just as radiant as ever, but when I blink, the angry red of blood stains her coat. I was seeing these things, but I couldn’t look away. Every blink a stab to my heart but I couldn’t stop. I found that I couldn’t breathe when she finally looked my way. Her crystal blue eyes alive with emotion then turn dull and lifeless when I blink.

For each step she took toward me I would take a step back. I realized shortly that even with my eyes open her visage was soaked in blood. The world narrows and my vision tunnels in on only her. Her muzzle turns sour and she reaches her paw out towards me. What was once a pristine coat of white turns black and rots off. My chest tightens and I'm frozen on the spot. Closer and closer she approaches, fazing through the trees that would be in her way. There is no more fur left on her when she stands in front of me. A sadistic grin forms on the rotten skin and muscle left on her muzzle. I watch with stricken fear as she reaches her paw out and slowly sinks it into my chest around my heart. "You didn't save me. How could you let your mother die?" A chilling cold spread from her paw and she leans in close to my ear to whisper. "You ran away and let them go unpunished... You turned your back on me. You turned your back on family... but you can make it up to me. These monsters are still here." Her other paw was around my lower back and she nuzzles into the crook of my neck. I'm revolted by the feeling but find comfort from who it was. "They will hurt us again. You won't let them hurt me again will you?" I can only barely shake my head with the words failing to form. "You’re such a good boy." She starts to fade away. The last thing to fade was her eyes which took on red tinges as they disappeared.

When she is finally gone it feels like a shock to my core. I fall to my knees clutching my chest and heaving breaths as if I hadn't taken a breath for 10 minutes. I'm having trouble focusing but I can see multiple wolves around me now. A mixture of panic and anger rockets through me. Everyone around me takes a step back hearing my vicious growl as I frantically look around me. I don't see her anywhere but my head throbs angrily with each new face I look at. I bury my head in my paws to try and stop the throbbing, but the pain persists.

"Send for the chief and shaman. We'll stay watch here; hurry!" I look up in time for a group of wolves to take off into the woods and I must choke back the feelings coursing through me. Nothing makes sense anymore. I thought I was over this hatred for them... I was in control until I saw her again... but that wasn't her. I don't know what that was but that wasn't my mother... right? I can feel my claws raking against my scalp as I ball my paws into fists. Why would I see that now!? I didn't realize that I was mumbling my thoughts out loud.

"This was my chance to escape…It's not real… It's not real_..." But why not? They hurt me. Why should I forgive them for that? _ "It's not their fault..." How? How is killing mom not their fault? THEY killed her. "Stop... stop...please..." I tense when I feel a paw cup my chin. When I snap my eyes open, she is standing there with her perfect coat of white fur.

"We have tried to live in peace with them. It's not us that is wrong here. Don't hide from the truth. They won't hesitate to do the same to you or anyone else like us. Can't you see? It's not us... it's them. They drove the spike through me. They drove you from home. They can't be trusted with the power to take anymore. You can change that... You'd do that for me won't you?" Something changes in me. A fundamental building block of my persona seems to crumble. She's right and I nod my head. Mother was always right. She kisses my forehead and smiles before fading again from view. I feel warm yet hollow as I slowly rise to my feet and look around me. I cackle seeing everyone who was left, fleeing into the woods. Large plumes of fire are rolling off my body and scorching the low hanging branches. I catch a scent of fear and prowl toward the source. When I finally peak around the corner of a large oak tree, I see the little pup from earlier and take on a vile smile. I saunter around the tree and stand in front of her. She was only 8-9 years old and was frantically looking all around. It irked me that she wouldn't look at me and finally she snaps to me when she heard my growl. I crouch low to the ground to look her in the eyes and find them still dancing around in my direction. It took some of the heat out of my flame when I finally noticed the milky appearance of her eyes. I look to the side realizing this pup was blind. Should she be exempt? My thoughts were interrupted by her scared voice.

"Who's there... I can't see anything... There's so much noise... I'm scared..." I won't hold a cub accountable for what adults do. I reach out slowly and brush her shoulder with my left paw. We both flinch back from the touch. I saw the channels of energy running through her tiny body in that brief moment of contact. She's like me. She was the source of that magic I had felt earlier. I find my voice is calm and level.

"It's okay. I'm here to help. Your name is Ennenna right? My name is Anamarje." She slowly relaxed and stared in my direction for a short while. Her voice still had a little tremble to it.

"I-It's nice to meet you. I don't know what's going on."

"It's okay. I'm sure it's pretty scary. Is there somewhere that you can hide that no one will find you? It might get dangerous and I don't want you to get hurt." Her face drops and her jaw trembles.

"Dangerous...? But what about mom and dad? I have to find them!" She was getting frantic and trying to stand up, but I put my paw on her shoulder and kept her in place.

"Tell me their names and I'll find them. We need to make sure that you are safe first." She was still trying to stand but eventually curled up and mumbled into her arms.

"Marrensa is my mom and my dad is Sanaach. You have to find them... please find them..." I didn't hear anything past that last name. My head couldn't process that and took me a minute to shake myself. "You can find them, right? You have to find them." She had tears streaming down her cheeks as she clung to my arm. I had to resist the urge to growl and shake her from my arm. What did this mean? Was there someone else named Sanaach? I doubt it… then why would she call him dad? Did he move on? Has he already found someone new to replace us? Did he even care? I finally noticed that she was no longer holding my arm and that the growl I thought I was hiding was in fact quite loud. I felt angry at her again. The thought that they had used my dad’s sorrow to become a part of the tribe had my paws tensing. I snap out of it when I notice my arm raised towards her; a deep shame sinking into the pit of my stomach as I pull back the energy that had formed in my palm. Regardless of how things happened this wasn’t her fault. I shouldn’t take any of my frustration out on an innocent pup. I step away from her slowly until I feel my back against a tree.

I took a few moments to sort out the mess in my head and try to steady my pulse. I’m still angry with these people but I mostly feel hurt. Did he really move on and make a new family? Did he even wait…? Did he even grieve? No… I saw him grieve; I heard him. Wait… that means he’s alive! They didn’t kill him… but why? Do they still not know? This line of thinking had my head hurting so I refocused on what I did know. My ‘people’ are dangerous. My father is still alive which puts him in danger from them. I’ve just met another lycan that can use magic which puts her in danger. They need to be protected and I can protect them. A wicked smile turns the corners of my muzzle and reveals nearly all of my teeth. I needed to move away from her to protect her but I didn’t want to leave her alone either. My smile fades and turns to a scowl. I re-approach her and crouch down. She’s obviously scared with her arms wrapped around herself. “I came here with a group of humans. I know it might be scary but they will protect you. Do you think you can go find them while I track down your parents? You should be able to smell them.” She is still shaking like a leaf and I get the feeling that none of that actually registered with her. I bite back the growl in my throat. “You have to be strong for them… I can’t go and find them until I know that you’re safe.”

That seemed to shake her out of it but didn’t take the tremble from her body. She didn’t seem like she could talk but nodded her head a couple time. I gently direct her in the direction I thought was right to which she cautiously moves until she’s out of sight. I’m able to breathe a sigh of relief as her tail slips beyond view… I shouldn’t care… I shouldn’t care! She’s part of them! I find myself seething and come to realize that I had walked further into the woods but I couldn’t tell how much further. My eyes lock onto a familiar sight; a trail marker on an old tree. My blood was figuratively but also perhaps literally boiling when I slammed my fist into it with enough force to feel in the ground. The bark and wood cracked and splintered aggressively. My ears were on a swivel before I could strike the tree again since I noticed the sound of ruffling around me. I turn and face them with a snarl. My ears pick up a slight whistling and, with reflexes I didn’t know I had, I catch an arrow shot beside my head before it reaches the tree behind me. That was a warning which was not meant to hit but I break the shaft and let the remains crumble to the ground.

My mind was in overdrive with the adrenaline coursing through me. I could see the subtle change in the surroundings as they moved about. I could hear each breath, each foot step, and each crackle of the bows that were pulled taut. I crouched low to become a smaller target and prepare my legs for any leap I needed to make. I’m still angry beyond words but my body won’t move despite me knowing exactly where they are; my earlier bravado crumbling now that I have to actually face the task in front of me; justice for myself and others like me at the cost of my old tribe? How is that justice at all…? “Why do you wait?” I hear her voice clear as day. I glance around but see only the forest and figures looming in the shadows. A worrisome unease descends upon me. “You know where they are. You merely have to reach out and touch them.” No, this isn’t right. Nothing about this is right. I feel myself slowly relaxing until a pain, like claws raking across my brain, wracks my body. I bring my paws up to my head and wince against the pain. “Don’t you love me? You don’t agree with them… do you?” Of course I don’t agree with them. “Then why do you hesitate?” This isn’t right! The pain becomes nearly unbearable and has me falling to my side and practically clawing at my scalp. “Did you see any love or compassion when they killed me!? Did your brother or sister deserve this before they were even born!?” I hear my own strained voice in my ears.

“Stop! I can’t take it!”

“You think this is anything compared to what I felt?” The pain suddenly vanished leaving me whimpering on my side in the grass. I’m only given a few seconds of peace before hearing her voice again. “Open your eyes.” My head was still throbbing which only got worse by the booming voice in my ears. “Open your eyes!” Wincing in pain I crack open my eyes and my body goes rigid. Through the pain still pounding behind my eyes I can see him standing at the edge of the tree line. “Your mother’s killer stands before you amongst the rest of them. They celebrated what he had done. They praised him for killing your mother as they will praise him for killing you. You don’t want to die, do you?” That question struck the hardest. No, I didn’t want to die. “Then stand! Strike out against them!” I was stuck trembling on the ground with my knees tucked close to my chest. “You’re weak. A pathetic vessel… but that’s okay.” The feeling of the air and of my body changes. My senses dull one by one and I expect to see white clouds from my breath with how cold it feels. “I’ll take this vessel now.” The voice that was distinctly my mother’s turns darker and deeper. A shiver would have run down my spine if I had control anymore. Excruciating pain descends on my whole body. When I can finally manage to open my eyes the world is hazy. I can see a figure very close with his back to me and slowly realize that this figure is in fact… me. Bringing my paws up to my face proves that they are translucent and weightless.

“I hope you like isolation little pup.” The voice boomed from all around me. “So much potential… so much power just neglected. But I won’t neglect it. I’ll show you what you are missing, so pay attention… although I suppose it doesn’t matter since I won’t be giving this body up.” I felt the panic and fear race through my mind for a moment but the rush of adrenaline never came. I tried to reach out for my body but an invisible wall intercepted me. The barrier proved extremely solid and after a short moment the feeling of dread and hopelessness sunk deep inside me. In this state I was in the emotions that should take hours to coalesce, fire through me in minutes. I can only stare out at my body and not move an inch. The silence is absolute and crushing.

I catch site of an arrow through the trees and watch as it comes to a hovering stop a few inches from my former body and hangs in the air. The arrow shaft slowly rots and crumbles and the steel arrow head rusts and turns to dust. I hear my voice… yet everything about it is wrong. The very sounds coming from ‘me’ is dark and hollow. “Eager to die? Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about you all.” If I had a stomach it would be twisting from the feeling of energy crawling through ‘me’. Even as disconnected as I was it still felt like cold slime just under my skin.

A series of foot long needles that were as black as the night sky took shape around the arm that ‘I’ had raised. Without any extra flourish or gloating the needles were gone, propelled by some unknown force, and without even seeing I knew the aim was true. I felt the moment they broke through flesh; I could sense the panic that raced through them… the smell and sense of the air had changed; a real atmosphere of dread descends upon all of us. I flinch against the cackling that erupts from all around me. It truly is a sinister sound and even covering my ears does nothing to prevent the noise. I can’t look anymore but that doesn’t seem to help. I can tell the next attack that is charging is 10 fold worse than what I had just witnessed. I can even tell who his next targets are without having to look.

10 more people were going to die… and I brought this here. I can do nothing to stop the chain of events that threaten to unfold before me. I’m weak… worthless… worse than that… a plague. Time and time again that has proven true… that I have lived a cursed life. Others around me suffer right alongside me and now I have brought death to this place… my ho… even now, or perhaps especially now, it doesn’t feel right to consider this my home. No, this isn’t my home… though the sting persists every time I have to admit that to myself. The echoes of memories still dance along the edge of my conscious thought; this is where I would play as a cub… before I was old enough to fear those I grew up with… before I lost… everything.

There were tears again… in this vacant existence that I found myself in, I could feel the tears on my cheeks. The end of so many lives was close. Even with my eyes closed and ears covered I know I will still hear the shrieks of pain and many more past that. But that never happened. Right when I thought the eruption of energy would occur my world did a summersault. Fresh tears welled up in my eyes as I clutch my chest against the incredibly strong burning sensation. It felt like a branding iron had been fired from a cannon into my ribcage. The pain lessened with each forceful labored breath I took. Every sense I had was ringing until the pain finally subsided. I tried to open my eyes but immediately shut them as a huge bout of vertigo overtook me. I focused inward to control my body and slowly the feeling faded. At some point I noticed the feeling of grass on my back and a palm on my shoulder. My nose caught a scent in the air and my heart stopped. Another deep breath later and my eyes cracked open.

My eyes take in the figure leaning over me but my mind doesn’t process it. His fur had lost a lot of its luster and there was definite graying around the muzzle. For a moment we just stared at each other. Recognition was slow to dawn on me. His ear twitched and he turned to look at something in the distance. I was going to look as well but my eyes instead focused on the distinctive scar across his cheek. He stepped away to see around the trunk of a tree as I collected my thoughts. A war was raging in my heart upon recognizing my father after so many years. The very recent discovery of another potential family that my father had started still fresh in my mind… but he was still… dad. That didn’t stop my legs from shuffling me away slowly. I stopped with the hurt expression he adopted as soon as his head turned back to me.

Before any words could leave my muzzle a terrible headache set upon me. The pain hammered against my brain in waves like the beat of a drum. All I could do is curl into a ball and yell at the anguish. I felt myself thrashing and through the pain I saw flashes of memories; all very recent. With each flash a fresh wave of pain but also a revelation. The images sped up and each one changing; revealing what had really happened… what I had thought had happened…what I believed… all… lies. The pain was fading but my memories kept appearing. A deep rooted anger took over and pushed the remaining pain away. The last of my memories ticked by and a surprising calm descended on me for the briefest of moments. That demon had altered what I saw of the world. It lead me into a corner to isolate and control me. I sat up and slowly turned my head. My eyes locked onto a familiar sight. Now in its large ghostly natural self, the demon was standing its ground against those that were still brave enough to stick around. My ears picked up the growl before I was aware I was doing it. “Lies…” I mutter as I push myself up off the dirt. Even to my ears my own voice is dark and cold. “Lies!” A flood of energy bursts open every limited channel in my body that the demon had put in place to siphon my power from. My vision narrows as I witness the destruction in front of me. Trees are cleaved with a swipe of its claws and barriers pushed to the edge of breaking.

This threat was powerful yet I found my feet shuffling forward. The color slowly draining from my vision as hatred consumes me. I stopped recognizing those around me and focused intently on what stands before me. “She’ortho… (demon) Reya’ckthu (mine alone).” I was on autopilot with the only thoughts in my head being my hunger… my need to destroy this creature that had taken so much from me. I crouched low to the ground and placed my palms on the dirt; leafs rustled all around me with the vortex of energy that danced around. The very dirt smoldered until the grass wilted around me. From the earth large beasts clawed their way into existence. Large feral canines came to flank my sides. They were black and ragged with a bright flaming core that leaked light with each twist of their bodies. With one more slow breath I called out a howl that is never taught yet every Lycan knows instinctually. ‘This one is mine and mine alone... interference means death’. The fighting stops as the savage and visceral notes carry through the trees. I end my howl and lock eyes with the demon that has turned his attention to me. I silently stalk through the undergrowth, still on my 4 paws, and break clear of the tree line followed closely by the creatures that I had created. Only a mere heartbeat passes before my beast charge at the demon at breakneck speed. The grass around me slowly smolders as my pack covers the rest of the distance. Where ever their feet touch the ground seems to spread that smoldering darkness.

3 go in for the attack while the rest, some half dozen, circle around waiting for their turn. The demon gets raked along his back by 2 of the dogs which left a couple streaks of glowing orange that quickly snuffed back to deathly black. The last one had lunged and sunk its teeth into the portion of ‘flesh’ that made up its right forearm. With little effort the beast was grabbed by the other arm and ripped off before being literally ripped in half. The smirk on the demons hazy face lasted only a second before the core erupted in a huge blast that shook the trees and left a large hole missing where there once was an arm. The onslaught continued against the demon that had started to regenerate the missing limb. Ragged claw marks littered its body by the time it started to really fight back. It seemed weary to kill another one so close so it resorted to more ranged attacks. By that time my blanket of smoldering black had spread all around the clearing. I flick my ear at the buildup of energy that had begun somewhere in the trees but quickly focus back when the sensation quickly ends.

The first ranged attack that hit managed to take out 3 of my dogs in the same strike. His triumphant smirk turned sour as the bodies simply sunk into the ground and were quickly replaced by 3 more. The battle truly began at that point. I stayed on the move to make tracking me more difficult while continuing the onslaught with my pack. I kept them close and would occasionally send a hurt one in to detonate as close as possible. I felt my body sway to the side when I brought forth another beast to replace the one that had left a gaping wound in its lower half. The battle field was rife with craters and would likely not sustain plant life for a long time to come but my efforts were showing results. His regeneration and attacks had slowed considerably but I was no longer able to maintain the numbers that I had before. I was down to 4 but my vision was growing hazy. With my adrenaline bleeding off I find myself short of breath and the color returning to my still hazy eye sight.

I brace my paw against a tree and pull my pack back to try and refocus. I lose strength in my legs and fall to my knees. My head lulls to the side and I can feel myself slipping. Before my eyes can close I catch her scent in the wind. My mind focuses again as I take a deep breath. The demon is yelling something about destroying me and everyone else but I don’t really pay attention. I rest my back against the nearest tree and for the first time since walking into these woods I look around. Seeing the destruction around me causes my ears to fold. I can’t help but feel responsible for what has taken place. I feel ashamed and angry that I was deceived… guilty that I had allowed this to make it this far. By chance I glanced away from the battlefield to peer into the less destroyed woods around me. Everyone was gone. I didn’t see a single sign of any of the people that had been here moments before. I was alone. If I didn’t win here… I wouldn’t be alive much longer. I couldn’t really afford to stop and rest right now as is.

But I didn’t fight this hard for me. Even before… this wasn’t about me. Forget my vendetta with that demon… forget how my people have treated me… forget everything that holds me back; this is about her. I’ve always fought the hardest for her. ‘She’s still in danger’ as I rise to my feet. A smile graces my lips despite the situation and I can feel a calm envelope me; the delicate balance of my psyche regains its former self. With a new found strength and renewed vigor I prepare for this final assault. Without all the aggression clouding my mind I kneel calmly and close my eyes. Everything that was left in the tank I poured forth; an unseen force guiding my paws that was reminiscent of my mother. The effect of this was not an immediate emergence of more black beasts but instead a steady glow and transformation of the few that remained. When I had given all I could I opened my eyes to the vision of 4 beasts of vastly different appearance from before. The black bodies and burning core were replaced with earth, rock, and moss.

They moved forward without haste and slowly approached the demon. The group was met with jagged needles that found no purchase in the hardened bodies. When they finally were in arms reach 2 were crushed beneath its giant fists and the vibrations could be felt in the ground. I hadn’t noticed at first but the blackened earth had shown signs of life around me; the grass slowly peeking through. I was dangerously low on energy and fought just to keep my eyes open. The demon was panicking now. It seemed unable to move its arms and upon closer inspection moss and flowers were spreading steadily up from where my 2 beasts had been crushed.

The moss, grass, and vines were holding him in place as the last 2 simply laid down beneath it and melded with the earth. A green shockwave of light pulsed from the center and swept out along the field. When it passed by I could pick up the light scent of spring. The same flowers that I would pick with my mother when I was young were sprouting all around me. When I had looked back up a young sapling was growing from the pile of rocks that was once the feral beasts I had created. A circle of grass had formed around the area, just wide enough to cover the places that I had scorched. It was as though time was sped up that I watched the young tree grow up through the very core of the demon. If I had looked away for too long I would have missed it. Once the tree had reached its full height I noticed the demon still thrashing in place and trying to curse at me but I didn’t hear it. With a final pulse of green light that was much brighter than the first, the demon was gone.

I sat with my back against a tree for what felt like hours; my energy depletion catching up to me at last. I’m not sure if I had fallen asleep or not as I lay their relatively peacefully… energy exhaustion is not particularly a pleasant feeling. The feeling never went away but I was able to push it from my mind. I had to admit the tree that had sprouted was much better than the black that had just earlier marred the earth. ‘I hope this place never changes again.’ That was the last thought that crossed my mind before my eyes closed and sleep took me.