FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Life doesn't come with a reset button. At least, as far as I know, it doesn't. But if it did, I would be all over that. Now before you get the wrong idea, I like my life. But sometimes, I want to return to memories I once had, sometimes I want to fix mistakes, and sometimes, I want to steer my fate into a different direction. Not that I'm discontent or anything. I just often wonder: would I be happier if my life were different? It depends. I'm already happy the way things are now.

Not too long ago I was talking with my friend Alan about this. When he heard me, he laughed like he usually did. He laughs at everything so it's okay, but he clearly doesn't take a lot of things seriously. He's a good guy deep down however, which is why I like him. After I explained how I thought about going back to certain periods in my life and changing things, he gave me his thoughts.

“You see, Dan, part of what makes life great is not knowing what's ahead of you. Stuff goes your way; stuff doesn't. That's all there is to it, and when you're willing to accept both consequences after giving it your all, you'll be more satisfied with your future than ever."

I shrugged. “And if the future's boring?"

“That's on you."

I winced. “Gee, sounds fun."

Alan smiled. The fact he wasn't laughing told me he was being serious. “Tell you what. We can talk this sort of thing over after the park. A bunch of people need something epic to happen."

I returned a sideways smile. Alan and I had volunteered to prepare our town park for a district barbecue that weekend. We had mapped out the plans: two days of cleaning, one day of pruning, and two days of decorations. We were on the final day of decorations. I had come prepared with balloons and duct tape; Alan brought fireworks (I seriously hoped he had a legal reason for bringing them). Doing this kind of thing wasn't new; Alan and I typically liked helping people out. But because we had both graduated college with Bachelor's degrees in Linguistics (I know, that's lame) this spring, we mostly centered our thoughts around life and choices a tad more than helping people. Don't get me wrong, I like helping. But sometimes I like to think about what I'm to do with myself, and share those thoughts with Alan… when we're not rambling about other stuff.

“Hey Dan."

We had been taping balloons to light posts for two hours now. Without pausing, I nodded.

“What's up?"

“Did you figure out what your Eevee—oh I'm sorry—Caramel… should evolve into?"

I laughed. “Bruh, stop saying 'Caramel' like it's anchovied pizza. And no, I'm still stuck."

“You've been playing Y for more than five years now-“

“Two months."

“-Two months now, and you're past the what, fourth gym?"

“Yeah."

“Just go with… uh…" Alan stopped taping balloons and glanced around the park. His eyes fell on a bee. “Bumblbeon! Wait…"

“Yeah that's not a thing."

“I know, I know. Don't make me feel any more stupid." He looked around a bit more. “There's a leaf one, right? Leafeon? That sounds like a thing."

“It's a thing."

“Epic. Go with that. Stop making your life difficult."

“I don't know if I can make it any more of that," I laughed. The truth was, I was thinking about going for Sylveon, which evidently was the newest Eevee evolution addition to Pokémon X and Y. I thought it was cute, and that it had some cool move sets. Was I okay with letting Alan know? Of course not. He knows I'm into that kind of cutesy/girly thing, so he'd just give me a hard time. I wouldn't fully mind, since, once again we're friends. But I'd like to make a decision that, for once, didn't seem to get Alan to say-

“Dan, you are one person and a half."

-that. I turned and stared him down with no expression, waiting for him to turn around and stare into my face. I like making him uncomfortable; it's a blast. My fun was interrupted by a loud noise a few yards down the path we were on. It sounded a bit like an oddly generated synth, which isn't typical in a park setting, so for obvious reasons it grabbed our attention. Alan and I exchanged glances and headed to the source of the noise. We didn't find anything, but things began to change around us. Noises became softer, objects lost their hue, and the sky became darker, which was strange considering it was only two hours past noon.

Alan grabbed my shoulder. “I'm feeling a bit lightheaded." I hadn't really paid attention to my physical state, but my head was throbbing a bit. “We may need to rest." He and I hobbled over to a bush and settled down on the grass. My head felt like it was clogged, but at the same time, I felt that I didn't need to worry. Perhaps I just needed some rest.

At that note, our surroundings blacked out.

…

I woke up to a blinding light. My head no longer hurt the way it did, but it was still pulsing from being woken up (I don't sleep very well). After rubbing my face a bit, I checked my surroundings… or lack of them. I was in a seemingly infinitely large white room, and I was standing on what looked like a carbon-based floor that refracted my image. I blinked in disbelief. “Alan?" I shouted. I expected an echo, but my shout was absorbed into nothing as if I were in a sound booth. A faint hum pulsed around me, gradually growing in volume, until a what sounded and felt like a sonic boom blasted through the room. I could feel my body vibrate intensely.

When I stopped shaking, a blue light from behind reflected upon the blonde hair that slightly covered my eyes. Slowly, I turned around. What I saw nearly made my stomach explode. A 20-foot tall blue celery stick (that's the best description of whatever I was looking at I could think of) with glowing eyes stared back at me.

“Sorry to startle you," it crooned. It had a soothing voice: effeminate but powerful and promising. “My name is Celestial. You must be Daniel?"

At this point not much else could surprise me, so I didn't even flinch when the creature guessed my name. “U-uhhh… yyyeah…" I weakly lifted up my arm. “Hh…" I could barely make out a hello in my shock.

“How are you, Daniel?"

I just shook my head as if that question wasn't anywhere near appropriate.

“I assume you're in a bit of a shock at the moment, so let me tell you what has happened so that you may be put at ease. Do you understand that this universe functions with infinite timelines and realities?"

Without changing my expression, I nodded slowly but slightly. “I…I guess…? I… never thought it was true…"

“It's true."

“Cool. Very cool."

“Sometimes imbalances in certain universes occur due to lack of human cooperation. In your world, kindness and generosity keep reality balanced. You and Alan have helped preserve the balance for generations."

“Wait wait wait, by just cleaning gutters and stuff? We never leave the town. How on earth does that balance reality?"

“Good deeds are good deeds. Yours combined with Alan's have pushed the preexisting deeds back into the balance in which it needs to be."

“Uhh… cool beans. So now what?"

“Your purpose of life in that reality is complete."

“Whoa… purposes are real? I thought living life to the fullest was all that mattered."

“Purposes aren't necessary in your reality, so living life to the fullest is acceptable as long as it does no harm. That's part of the reason your kind is desperate to find an answer; there is nothing set in stone."

“Gotcha. So… are we just killed off from our world?"

“Quite the contrary. You and Alan have been rescued from the fate of death. Your new assignment falls in another reality. We like to reward those who have completed their assignments with flying colors, and because you have done so, you are free to choose whatever new life you would like. That is why you are here."

I nearly spoke, but a holographic screen of what appeared to be the universe came into view. After a few moments, I quipped up. “What is this?"

“This map represents the realities our multiverse contains. Several are like yours, some are otherworldly, and some are fantastical."

My eyes widened at the word fantastical. “Fiction can be reality?"

Celestial nodded and swiped her upper limb through the map. Dozens of projections of sceneries came into view. “What was considered human imagination in your world can actually become a reality in another. Some worlds are full of Greek gods, others mermaids, aliens…"

I nodded as I glanced over the map, but paused at one screen. “Wait… what's that right there?"

“Hm?" Celestial selected a projection by tapping it with her upper limb. A field just like one from my planet came into view. Oh, and there were hundreds of familiar creatures swarming about in it. “Ah yes. Pokémon was another one of your reality's ideas, as well as several billion others. We have countless realities in which Pokémon are the focus of the world itself. If I remember correctly, Alan chose a reality related to that topic."

“He did?! Where is he?"

The map spun, and after what felt like eternity a screen flashed in front of my eyes. At first I couldn't make out anything, but after closer inspection I could identify trees, mountains, and what looked like a cave. It was relatively similar to the reality I knew.

“Not bad…" I whistled and looked up. “Is it possible that I could crash into this one? It'd be cool to meet up with him again."

“But of course."

“Awesome! This is going to be sick."

The map dissipated, and the hologram projected a chart with thousands upon thousands of boxes.

“What is this?"

“These are the different specimen in this reality. The human species is far in the corner for easy access. It represents your decision on your form."

“My form? You're… you're not saying that I can actually be a Pokémon in this world, are you?"

Celestial nodded. Holy crud! How awesome would that be?! My mind spun from one option to another, but I couldn't decide. There were too many awesome ones! I needed to hear some sort of idea. “Do you perchance know what Alan chose?"

Celestial nodded. “He is currently a Leafeon."

“Whoa, one of the Eevees!" I had to laugh a little, since we had just been talking about that before I… died… or not-died. “Can you pull up the options for the Pokémon that Eevee can evolve into?"

Instantly I was greeted with about twenty images. “Whoa… were there really this many?"

“In your reality, there are only eight. This reality contains others that you have never seen."

“Okay, that's awesome." I slouched over the screen and gave each one a deep thought. So many new and nostalgic ones met my eyes, but they stopped entirely at the Sylveon profile. I remembered my game back in my reality, and Caramel. She would never become that Pokémon now. If only I had made up my mind back then.

I must have been staring at the icon for a while, because Celestial said, “Sylveon? Do you have a liking for that one?"

I stopped. “Ha! Good one. Alan would be dead if I showed up as that. He's a bit pushy when it comes to… that kind of thing…"

Celestial locked eyes with me. “Does his thought matter to you? It's your decision in the end."

I paused. Was this really what I wanted to do? Sure, he'd laugh about it, but we're still friends. Joking around is just part of what he does. Right? And besides, I didn't really want to be a Sylveon. It was just my favorite of the Eevee bunch. Hang on. Who was I kidding? Being a Sylveon would be great! I always loved the design; it would be cool to be one for myself.

“You know what? Sure."

“Very well." Celestial pulled up another screen: this time only two options met me: a Mars and Venus symbol. “This is your final decision before you are sent to the world."

I was at a loss for words. “But… what does it mean…?"

“It means you may choose to be male or female. You never had that option in your reality, so now's your chance to pick."

My heart pounded. Entering a new world and becoming a Pokémon were already whole other levels of insanity alone. Why was having the option to change my gender added to this? My

first instinct went for male. But before I spoke, I remembered what Alan had told me earlier: “part of what makes life great is not knowing what's ahead of you." I wanted an exciting life. If I was going to go all out, I was going to do just that. For obvious reasons, I didn't know for sure what it was like to be a girl. I had an idea, but having never been one myself there really was no way for me to know. What was it like? I stared at the Venus symbol and twitched my eyes. Did I really want to live, from what I knew, the rest of my life as a female? I closed my eyes and imagined a female Sylveon, and the first image that came to my head was adorable and beautiful. It occurred to me that I had a thing for cute and girly things. My eyes snapped open. “To heck with it," I muttered. Steadily, I extended my index finger and tapped the Venus symbol that represented femininity.

At that moment, the room quaked. “What's happening?" I shouted as I clenched my stomach.

“Your new life begins now, Daniel," Celestial smiled.

“Wait!! I have a question… will I still have memories of my past life?"

Celestial paused. “In order for that to occur, you will never be given the chance to return to a new life again. After that is death, and I can't tell you what comes next. That is for you to find out."

I looked down at the floor. So I really would be living the rest of my life as a female Sylveon. But if it meant retaining my memories of my old life, and remembering what made everything about living, and about myself, special, I was willing to accept that fate.

“Celestial, I would like to keep my memories from my past."

The room roared like thunder, but I could hear her whisper, “Granted," before my surroundings faded to black.

…

Everything was serene. I couldn't see. This could be due to the fact that my eyes were closed. Lazily, I opened my eyes to the world around me. I seemed to be in a park just like the one I had passed out in in my other reality, but the tree bark, grass, and sky were beautiful vibrant colors that I could have sworn I had never seen before. May I add--and this could just be my own perception but--everything had a new lively "sparkle" added to it, and my mind seemed most attracted to blues, pinks, and flowery objects. The fact that I was in a new reality was incredible; more so, what I had become. Wondering what I looked like, I glanced down at my body, and let out a gasp.

My arms (should I even call them that) were now engulfed in white fur, and my “hands" in bold pink. My limbs nearly resembled a fox's front legs, ridiculously thin and bent forward at the joints. I no longer had hands, but small delicate paws. Cautiously I turned them over and noticed I had little blue toe pads, which made me chortle a little. This was too much to take in. I stood up, instinctively wanting to complete my stance on my two hind legs as I was used to, but naturally could not continue when I was on all fours. My spine had been restructured to prevent me from standing as if I were still a human.

I craned my neck back to observe my back but locked eyes on my huge pink tail, which looked like a tuft of cotton candy. Suddenly getting a sugar craving, I tried leaping toward my own tail over and over. I was fully aware what I was doing and I knew it was very animalistic and silly, but it I didn't care. I was a Sylveon with no human responsibilities for the rest of my life! What dignity did I have to worry about? Smiling, I plopped on the grass and sprawled on my back, happily staring up to the sky. Simple textures I didn't remember from my past life were scattered everywhere in the atmosphere: clouds were fluffier, the blue hues were more pronounced, and sounds of aircraft above me didn't just make noise—they sang. The world seemed beautiful now that everything was different; now that I was different. I loved how everything was the way before, but now I was stunned by its glory.

After lying on the grass for a few minutes, I got up and felt my ears perk up to the gentle trickle of a nearby stream. Suddenly thirsty, I bounded over to the area where I could hear the water. When I reached the stream, I dove headfirst and submerged my face underwater, gulping in as much water as I could. When I was done, I gasped for air and sighed, practically melting back into the stream. Peacefully I looked down into the rippling water's surface, and for the first time I saw my reflection.

My heart nearly stopped. I'm no narcissist, but… my new self I was impeccably precious, on levels both beautiful and adorable. My ears were as big as a rabbit's, and they appeared to be made of silk. My mouth was so cute and small, and my button nose was even smaller. My cheeks were protruded outward a little, and a natural faint blush coated them. My chin was perfectly rounded so that my facial features were captured exquisitely. The bow on my neck, the bow fastened to the side of my head, and the ribbons that extended from them both were all equally a nice and delicate touch. And my eyes… oh my gosh. When I stared into them, it was like the universe was staring right back. They were full of wonder and childlike innocence, my giant baby blue pupils brilliantly twinkling at every slight angle I moved my head. Even my eyelashes were captivating. I nearly thought I was wearing mascara due to their bold dark color, and they were so long that when I blinked, they fluttered elegantly as if they were butterflies' wings.

Speechless, my heart began to pound. I couldn't fathom looking at such a precious creature, much less possessing a body like it. My face turned bright pink as I impishly cocked my head to the side, gave a small cat smile to my reflection, and hummed as I stuck out my tongue. The image in the water staring back at me seared through my mind like an arrow. I couldn't contain myself, and let out a high pitched squeal of pure delight.

“Ackk!" I coughed. Why was my voice so high?! I stood dumbfounded, but then it hit me—I was a girl! How could I possibly forget that? I shook my head to snap myself back into reality… this reality anyway. Timidly, I began speaking to myself. “Hello, world…" I started slowly, taking in every bit of my tone. Not only was it high, but it was doll-like and incredibly effeminate, with a slight touch of an Irish accent. I had no idea how I had picked up an accent, but I continued. “This is… so weird… aaaAAAAAAA!!" I burst out screaming and laughing. My voice sounded entirely like a female version of myself, but femininely exaggerated to no end! From what I knew, I was possibly the most adorable creature to ever exist… and it felt amazing!

For about ten minutes I played and flopped around in the water, pausing every few seconds to admire my own reflection. My cycle of “play, admire, play, admire" continued until I heard a loud clearing of someone's throat. I stopped and slowly turned my head back to the bank, recognizing the Pokémon that had made itself known.

It was a Leafeon. Unlike most Leafeon I had seen in the games, this one's leaves on its head and chest were frilly and brighter in color than what I remembered. And this Leafeon was grinning. I simply stared back. Had it been watching me? Carefully I stepped toward it, not knowing what to expect.

The Leafeon continued to stare back at me. He looked like he was on the verge of laughing. Did I look ridiculous or something? Was there something in my fur? Subconsciously I started pawing at the bow nestled in my left ear as I stared back at the Leafeon. I stopped, recalled the thought process that had just gone through my mind, realized what I was doing, and giggled.

“Aaaaaaaa, that's so girly!!!" I squealed at myself, losing all sense of control. I almost fell face first into the water.

At that, the Leafeon stopped smiling and seemed genuinely scared. “Hey hey… uhh… no offense… but I'm actually kinda new to this whole 'being a Pokémon thing'… and I didn't know you guys acted this weird. Is this… supposed to be normal?"

I calmed down a little. “W-what?" I said, still smiling slightly.

The Leafeon sat on his hind legs. “This may sound bizarre, but about half an hour ago I woke up in a different reality. I'm actually a human."

My jaw dropped. “A-Alan?!"

Now he really was surprised. “How do you know my name?!"

I beamed. I could feel my blue eyes sparkling without needing to look at them. “It's me, Dan! I'm a Sylveon!!"

Alan stumbled backward and flailed his arms. “Naw! NAWW!!" He started laughing. “That's insane, dude!! Get outta here! Out of all the gazillions of realities how did you end up in the same one as mine?!!"

“I followed you!"

“Wh- I- HOW?!! I mean, that's cool and all; it's awesome to see you here, but no, actually, HOW?!"

“You got here first, so I asked that celery stick where you were, and I couldn't pass up a world where I get to be a Pokémon!"

“Celery sti-? OH! Haaaahaaaaa!! Niiiiiice. But yeah, I couldn't say no either, and Leafeon was the first thing that came to my mind since we were talking about it last."

“Cool beans!"

“But yeah… so… you picked Sylveon huh?"

“Oh…" I felt my ribbon feelers huddle into my body. “Yeah."

“Tsk, tsk, Dan. Tsk, tsk. You know what?"

“What? WAIT!"

“Dan?"

“NO!!! AAAHAHAHA NOOO!!!"

“You are one person and a half!!"

“Stoooooop saying that!!!" I fell over on my side howling with laughter. Alan hadn't changed a bit!

Alan had been laughing too, but he abruptly stopped. “Wait… are you…"

I reduced my crying to short chuckles and looked up. “Hm?"

“Are you a girl?!"

“Mhm!"

“I… wh-“ Alan shook his head. “Is this some weird deep secret you never told me?"

“No no, I just wanted to have an amazing life that was impossible to predict, so I went with the most interesting options to me."

“That's… okay fair. No cap, that's a bit out of tune. But if you're cool with it then that's fine."

“I'm having fun. It's still a little weird though. I blush or get all hyper every time I'm reminded."

Alan nodded. “I noticed." We stared at each other awkwardly. “Do you need help out of the water then?"

“What no, I can get out myself."

Alan switched to his jokester mode. “Aww c'mon! Don't let chivalry die! Be a good little lady!"

“Hey stop! AaaaaahahahahAAA!" I started howling again and collapsed. This wasn't going to be easy to get used to. I looked up at Alan, still giggling, and pointed my paw at him, urging him to take it. “You… you know what… I may actually need legitimate help… I feel like I've scarfed down a box of Lucky Charms."

The Leafeon twirled his paw up into the air and eccentrically waggled it in front of me with a smug look on his face. “The only charm I see around here is you, darling."

“Dude! Stop!" I couldn't help but laugh in spite of myself.

Alan teasingly stuck out his tongue and yanked me out of the water. “Holy crud, you're heavy." He fell over, panting from lifting me up.

“Hah, you deserved that."

“Yeah, I know."

“So… about that reality thing, do you know what you're supposed to do? Apparently you have a purpose."

“Why me and not you?"

“I had to sacrifice the possibility of starting a new life so that I could enjoy the memories I made back when I was still a human."

“I did the same thing; how else do you think I remember you?"

“Oh. True."

“So… nothing matters now?"

I shrugged. “I guess so."

Alan raised his front paw. “Score! No purpose squad!"

I laughed and slammed my paw into his for a high five.

Alan suddenly stared into my eyes. “Oh my gosh. I high-fived a girl. My life is complete."

I giggled a little. “There's your purpose for ya."

“I just realized! You're a girl now, but I'm still a dude. What if…" Alan exaggerated a gasp, “…we should kiss!"

“What?!"

“Yeah! And then! We'll get married! And start a family! And you'll have fifty-six kids and we'll name them all Alan Junior! And then they'll go to college and move out and we'll retire and bet our life savings on bingo parlors and listen to country music while staring at a broken yard we're too old to fix!!"

By now I was cackling. We shouted at each other in unison, “HECK NO!!" And we both fell over.

When we were done laughing our eyes out, I looked over at Alan. “In all seriousness. Are you ready to start our new lives?"

“Our lives? If you mean individual lives with no romantic implication in the pronoun 'our', then absolutely."

“Goodie." I stretched and stood up on all fours. Still high spirited, I took my paw and dug a straight line in front of Alan. I giddily faced him and held my chin high. Clearing my throat, I practically yelled, “Today! I would like to commemorate Alan for plunging into a new life full of mystery and adventure. I know not what lies ahead of him, but I'm sure he will take it on full-force! Once he steps across this line, he shall forever be known as the great Alan the Leafeon! Take the leap, Alan! The world is waiting."

“Gee, dude. I dunno. This is all happening kinda fast, don't you think?"

“WALK."

Alan rocked his head and jokingly pranced across the line like a king. “Aight there. It is official."

“Yey!"

“But we're only halfway done." Alan turned around, faced me, and drew a line in the ground a few paces in front of my front paws. “A…he-he-he-hem. Today we are paying homage to, shall I say, one who is not only submerging straight into a new life, or living as a new species, but going above and beyond what is required. And that can be none other than… me!"

“Bruh!" I laughed.

“Wait your turn, dear. As for this… very, very lovely Sylveon…"

“Alan…"

“Few fail to even meet what she is about to step into. Not only is this her first day as a Sylveon, but it also happens to be the date that welcomes her into femininity. From now on, this Sylveon shall be forever associated with the term 'she'…" I was bouncing as Alan then looked at me, “…and quite a beautiful 'she', too…"

I hit my breaking point. “Alan, stop!!" I screamed laughing while stamping my feet like a rabbit. My face began to burn, and it took me no time to feel it. “OH MY GOSH!!! NO! AAAA!!! I'M BLUSHING!! STOOOOP IT!!!!!" My voice shrilled as I giggled uncontrollably.

Alan continued as if I had done nothing. “May I please welcome across the line and into a life of greatness… Miss Dana the fabulous Sylveon!"

I bounded over the line, still laughing.

Alan chased after me, and we both started down the forest not knowing exactly where to go.

“Wait…" I paused, “Did you call me 'Dana'?"

“I think it suits you. And you crossed the line, so there's no going back. You're Dana now." Alan stuck out his tongue and booped me on the nose. I flinched as my face lit on fire. “Oh my gosh. I'm actually blushing. This is so weird."

“It's blood rushing through your face. What's so weird about that?"

“I know… just… being reminded that I'm a female now is embarrassing… but still kind fun."

“Neato. Well, all that matters is that you're coping. I'm going to serenade now. _Danaaaa, precious DAAAAAaanAaaaAAAAAA……" _

I giggled. “Hrrrrgg… I sound so girly when I giggle."

“That's good. You're a girl, so it makes sense." Alan booped me again.

I chortled and purred a little. He stuck his tongue out at me, and I did likewise, tilting my silky ears and fluttering my eyelashes in the process. This actually made him blush, and I could feel my cheeks burn when I realized I had infatuated him a little. I had a sudden urge to return his affection. “I know we're not in love, but can I lean against your fur? It's like a buddy hug."

“Sure thing, Miss Dana." I nuzzled into his side, mewing in surprise at how warm he was. Out of comfort and security, my ears naturally rested on his back. Blissfully, I closed my eyes halfway and sighed happily. With my head still resting gently against his body, Alan slowly walked me farther down the park as he proceeded to sing like a maniac.