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The Gift

Edward's Storyline, Chapter 8.4

copyright comidacomida 2019

He nodded, but before the conversation went any further, Green interrupted, plopping his ample bulk onto the floor in a way that should have created a loud thump but, considering he was a Spirit it was silent. "Seeker... you should eat, and then I can spend the day with you and teach you how to relax while remaining aware."

Although The Ancient One remained big, scaly, and Green, Ch'upikaq's voice came out of Green's maw. "Edward wishes to spend the day in quiet contemplation, not concerning himself with her... there will be time for that later."

Medved looked up and at The Ancient One. "That is the hope, yes... but there are no guarantees that it will be the case."

It had been going so well it was probably too much to ask for the Spirits to give me a break. Taking another bite of my sandwich I held it and the plate out to Medved. "If you're worried about me then let's hang out for a bit so we can get that dealt with together so you can feel better about me relaxing. Fair?"

The Bear watched my face carefully before extending his paw, looking down at the plate as I set it into the large palm presented to me. Rather than answering my question, he simply said "Pass it through."

It took a second before I realized what he meant and, rather than putting it in his paw, I continued holding the plate, letting it fuse through but leaving the sandwich in his grasp. He brought it up to his big muzzle and took a bite similar to Tre's. He chewed carefully, his expression so neutral it reminded me of a wine expert doing a taste test. Medved returned the sandwich to the plate as he swallowed. His face remained unreadable and, since he said nothing, I pressed him for information. "And? Not too bad... right?"

He blinked, his eyes gleaming a faint Gold before he said "Your mother used to make these for you..."

It was a true statement; although she was always up to something and didn't spend a lot of time in the kitchen, egg sandwiches were a staple of the house when I was growing up-- they were the only thing she actually ever taught me to make. The reminder made me pause a moment and I swallowed down the unexpected tightness in my throat. "Yeah... she did."

The Bear pointed out something I hadn't even considered. "She used to toast the bread when she made them."

Although I hadn't even considered it, once Medved mentioned something it caught my attention and I realized he was right; it'd been so long since my mom had made me one that I'd apparently forgotten. "Oh yeah... I guess it WAS toasted..."

Medved slowly stood, brushing some unnoticed dirt off of his trousers. "And she used cheddar cheese."

I looked down at the plate in my hand and the egg sandwich made with American Cheese; he was right about that too. At that moment I remember wondering just what else I had forgotten about my mom and that thought hurt. After being absent from my life for years she had practically died in front of me. When I'd gone to visit her I hadn't known what to expect; I hadn't expected her to suddenly become some big part of my life but, I guess, I'd at least thought that she would become a part of it... even a little part. "I... uh.... I guess I'd forgotten all that..."

Tre sat up. "Hey... lay off that stuff, will ya? He made a good sandwich. So what if it's different than how his mom did it?"

Although The Ancient One was still covered in green scales, it was Red's voice that came out. "Humans cannot remember in the way Spirits can. Memories of those who are gone are important to them."

Medved didn't bother acknowledging either spirit's statement; he reached a paw out to me instead. "No more talk of Spirits... perhaps instead we should take some time to discuss Sofia... your mother?"

I wasn't sure I liked where the talk was going; discussing feelings wasn't really something I ever did. Ever. "Why?"

The Bear moved to sit on the arm rest of the sofa, right next to me. "Because I miss her... because you miss her? It is okay to miss her together."

The Ancient One, nodded vigorously. Green had obviously regained control of his voice. "I agree. We should discuss Sofia. Edward can learn much from the stories we have to tell of her."

The Dragon's body folded in on itself and sprouted rainbow feathers. Ch'upikaq slowly settled to the ground into a coiled pile of scales and folded his feathers around himself. "You do not have to discuss her if it hurts, Edward... though we are here to talk if you wish."

Tre snorted, standing up as he pointed a finger at the Serpent. "He wouldn't want to talk to us about his ma... don't forget who it was that caused all the.... problems."

Ch'upikaq's head rotated to face the Wolf. "There are no innocent parties here. Not one of us, Spirit nor Human is free of regret over events in our past, but to dwell on those is to invite dissention and ruin. Speaking to this effect may help heal old wounds."

I really didn't like where the discussion was going, and I definitely didn't want to get into that talk at that moment. "No... I don't think we should discuss what happened to my mom... not if you want me in a good mood."

Medved stood and held his paw out to me invitingly. "Come, Edward... we can speak together privately for a time, like family. You and I may relive the good without focusing on the obvious... complications."

It was a chance to escape the swirling emotions that the three spirits together were bringing up so I jumped on it. Following after the Bear I glanced back to the Wolf and the Serpent. "Be back later... right now I... I just need--"

Not trusting myself to finish the statement I left them, heading down the hallway and into my bedroom. Medved was waiting for me, about-facing as spread his arms wide invitingly. When I was younger and crying my grandparents always made it a point to offer me comfort in exactly the same stance-- it was so eerie but, stranger yet, I didn't refuse. I'm not a little guy by any means but the Bear made me feel like a child again as he enveloped me in a huge hug and, before I knew it, I was surrounded by Bear fur as his arms swallowed me up.

There are certain smells in life that remind me of different things; burning sandalwood always makes me think of Christmas; cinnamon makes me think of my grandmother's apple crumble; treated leather makes me think of the first time I went horseback riding; Medved's smell made me think of every hug I'd ever received from my grandparents. Although his musky animal scent was a smell all its own there was still a familiarity... a closeness... a connection. He was my family's Guardian Spirit, so maybe it makes sense that he made me feel like I was where I belonged... where I was safe.

His deep, rumbling voice spoke softly above me as he slowly rotated me in his grasp so I wasn't in danger of being smothered. "If you are not ready to discuss Sofia then we do not have to, Synochik... I am here because I care, and I make no demands."

His statement felt a little contrived but, at the same time, I appreciated how forthcoming he was about it. Fighting to pull back on some tears that had appeared out of nowhere, I--