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[b][u][center]Streams of Confidence

Part 2

For Kacacarrotcake

By Draconicon[/center][/u][/b]

Amelia spent far longer than she wanted to admit playing with her dicks. Admittedly, that was partially because the damn drug had her hornier than anything had in years, and they were so much easier to play with than her clit or her pussy had been. Just reaching down, grabbing the twin shafts and jerking them had been the easiest thing in the world, and the minute that they got hard, it was almost impossible for her to ignore them for more than a few seconds. Just the feeling of that throbbing need down there, the way that they were constantly pushing up, the way that they churned just below with internal balls that were begging for release…

She groaned, rolling over in bed as her phone beeped at her. How long had she eventually slept? Maybe two hours, at most? It was hard to tell. Every time that she came close to nodding off, those throbbing cocks begged for her attention again, and she was up and at it once more.

[i]Starting to see why all those cartoons show the boys with tissues all over their rooms,[/i] she thought, pulling her phone to her off the nightstand. [i]Fuck. If it’s like this all the time – oh, fucking shit…[/i]

It wasn’t just the ‘wake up’ sort of alarm. It was also a reminder that she’d scheduled a second stream for the week, something that was meant to be a compare and contrast with the bare-chested stream that she’d done yesterday. She stared at the phone, groaning under her breath as she realized that she didn’t have the time to get a shower. Hell, she barely had time to get dressed and set up if she was going to do this.

Amelia debated staying in bed, but as much as she wanted to avoid the streaming – hell, as much as she wanted to [i]sleep[/i] – she knew she had to get up. If she was going to make money at this and avoid a ‘real’ job, then she needed to get back to work.

[i]Just hope that all the assholes left after the last one…[/i]

#

Amelia took a little longer than usual to get set up, and because she’d done it all sleepy, she had to go through it a second time and fix a few things. As a result, when it came time to stream, she didn’t have time to go and brush her hair, or even do more than shove a sweater over her head. She hadn’t slept with underthings on, so that meant that the desk was the only thing hiding her pair of dicks from the screen.

It wasn’t until she turned the chat on and saw the camera, though, that she realized that it was that much at risk. Her cheeks burned as she realized that one wrong move, one push back from the desk, would show off what a freak she had become.

[i]No bathroom breaks this time,[/i] she thought.

“Uh, hi, welcome back,” she said, running through an intro almost mechanically as the chat started up. “Sorry about the blocked-off stream last time, guys. I was just trying something out.”

[b]NaughtyNed: Hey, where’s the tits?

NaughtyNed: I came because there were tits last time.

NaughtyNed: Show the tits!

CasulFucker: Yeah, tits! Tits![/b]

“Oh, fuck…”

Amelia groaned under her breath, trying to ignore the pair of them. She’d hoped that they would have been gone after the last stream had gone so poorly, but here they were, not just still around, but spreading the rumors of what had happened.

Great. Now the rest of the chat was getting confused, wondering what they were talking about, and –

[b]GamerforLIfe: What’s going on?

GamerforLIfe: Tits? What’s this about tits?

NaughtyNed: Bitch did a naked stream.

NaughtyNed: Showed her tits. Tiny things, but hey, tits.[/b]

The whole chat wsa starting to ask questions now, and there was no immediate way for her to shut it down. She opened the console, going for the ban list. She managed to get CasulFucker off the chat before he could say anything, but NaughtyNed must have been a hell of a fast typer. He was still going.

[b]NaughtyNed: Then she got all prudish and got dressed again.

NaughtyNed: Ain’t that good a gamer, but could be good.

NaughtyNed: Low rent hooker kinda good.

NaughtyNed: Should go back to naked streams, bitch.[/b]

That was as far as he got before she was able to ban him from the chat, but the damage was done. The rest of the chat was asking about it, trying to push her towards taking off her sweater. She hadn’t even gotten the game on, and they were already trying to turn this into an 18+ chat.

Without mods, she couldn’t even be sure that the rest of the chat were entirely of age. She gritted her teeth, trying to explain.

“Look, guys. I was just trying something different. I don’t want to do that for real. I want this to be a place for gamers, not for jerking off.”

The chat didn’t seem to buy it. They were already throwing all kinds of insults at her, and she could see that the whole atmosphere had changed. Her attempt at a smile died on the vine, her lips turning down as the chat started to get positively vile.

[b]GamerforLIfe: Hey, that’s not fair.

GamerforLIfe: I would have been there if I’d known.

SwordforSale: Yeah, that’d be hot.

GamerforLIfe: Can’t just short us now.

GamerforLIfe: You owe us.

SwordforSale: Yeah, let’s get a free show.

LadysMan59: Yeah, show us some pussy, too.

GamerforLIfe: Yeah, we deserve something special after missing that other stream.

SwordforSale: Pussy for the chat! Pussy for the chat![/b]

The more that she tried to calm them down, the more agitated that they were getting. All kinds of requests were pouring in, pushing her to do things from just standing up and showing off her pussy to fingering herself for them, and…and quite a few other things. Some were getting downright disgusting, too, with even the rest of the chat telling them to fuck off with some of the requests.

She couldn’t believe it. She had taken six months to cultivate a good gaming chat, and the minute that someone started pushing the idea that she should get naked, the whole place turned on her. Amelia’s heart cracked down the middle.

She opened her mouth, trying to find something to say, but the constant stream of ‘pussy for the chat’ continued to flood the screen, interrupted only by the occasional request for something different. Some wanted her to turn around and show off her asshole. Others wanted her to put her feet up and lick them. Some wanted her to get…

No, she wasn’t even going to read those. She didn’t want to think about what people who wanted her to do [i]that[/i] would want after that.

[i]Why…what did I…[/i]

She felt like she’d been stabbed in the back by all the people that she had pulled together for this. All that work, all that time to make a fun place, wasted. Filled with anger, she gripped the table tighter and tighter as the chat kept going.

[b]SwordforSale: Hey, bitch, take off the top. I’ll ‘knight’ ya with my sword.

LadysMan59: Just stand up already. You’re the best game on here.

LadysMan59: I want to play you, not watch you play and lose again.

GamerforLIfe: Bitch just needs to be put in her place.

GamerforLIfe: Just needs to accept that her pussy is the money-maker here.

GamerforLIfe: Just stand up and show it off, bitch.[/b]

Amelia finally lost it. Snapping, she grabbed her shirt and stood up. She yanked her sweater almost up to her breasts, flashing her cocks.

“See? This is what you get, assholes!”

It took her a moment for reality to come crashing down. When it did, she blushed. Hard.

[i]Fuck…fuck…fuck…[/i]

Amelia couldn’t even bring herself to drag her shirt back down. Hell, she couldn’t even make herself sit down again, not now that she had exposed herself like this.

[i]Did…Why did I…[/i]

Her cheeks burned hotter as the chat went silent for all of five seconds. For a moment, she thought that maybe she had gotten something. Maybe she’d made a point.

Then all the venom came flowing free.

[b]GamerforLIfe: Lying bitch!

GamerforLIfe: Fucking FUTA!

SwordforSale: Ugh, and I touched myself to that.

SwordforSale: Fucking – go kill yourself.

SwordforSale: I gotta get some brain bleach.

LadysMan59: Disgusting.

LadysMan59: Goddamn – nobody wants to see that.

LadysMan59: And I was gonna send you a dick pic.[/b]

Not that LadysMan’s offer would have been accepted, but the whole thing reeked of exactly what she had been afraid of when she started doing the first stream. It had come through and poisoned the good side of this, and now…now, it was all that they were willing to talk about.

And she still hadn’t pulled her sweater back down, or sat down. All she did was stand there, her hands up at her chest and her cocks throbbing for them. She swore that they were somehow getting harder, twitching as she was called a freak, a futa, and so many other things that were just getting more and more vile.

Her hands shook as she finally let go of her shirt, reaching down and turning off the stream. She was shaking from head to toe and she didn’t know if it was in anger, anguish, or something else. All she knew was that she hurt from this utter betrayal of her fans.

[i]This…this wasn’t…[/i]

It was all her fault. And Damien’s for suggesting it, but all hers too, for going through with it. The fact that she thought that a woman could make it in the gaming industry, that she could be a good streamer –

She was crying. That was a bad look. A very bad look. She wiped her cheeks, running for her dresser. She didn’t even pay attention to what she was putting on, just desperately grabbing a top, a pair of underwear, some pants. She didn’t know what she was doing, but she knew that she needed to be away from here. She needed to be as far from here as she could get.

As soon as she was dressed, she slammed on a pair of sandals and ran.

#

It was the cold that got to her, first. The cold that came from running around on a cool afternoon in nothing but her shorts and a thin shirt, and the sandals that didn’t do anything to warm her feet, stung her and pricked at her until she realized just how cold it actually was. She wrapped her arms around her middle, shivering as she slowed to a stop by the canal that ran through the east side of the city.

How far had she been running? Far enough, apparently. She didn’t want to run anymore, and she didn’t want to keep moving, either. Considering the cold, the latter was something that she shut down immediately, not wanting to screw herself over. Amelia walked at a slow pace, making her way along the side of the water, heading towards the city center and the shopping mall down there.

She finally realized how she was dressed. While she had a fairly conservative top on, her shorts were more the sort of things that runners would wear, loose along the inner thigh and then tight around the bottom. It was only pure luck that kept her from having exposed her cocks as she walked, considering that they dangled down almost enough to slide out the legs of the shorts.

[i]Fuck…why didn’t I…[/i]

Well, the answer to that was easy. She hadn’t paid attention because she’d been on the verge of crying. She’d been almost blind. Otherwise she’d have picked something a bit better at hiding her body. Something warmer, too.

[i]And something that didn’t…mmmph…[/i]

The same distraction that had kept her up all night was punishing her again now. The feeling of her cocks sliding between her legs, rubbing along her thighs as she walked was bad enough, but sometimes they’d slip, running up into her panties, and –

“Mmmph…”

She had to bite off groans and moans that escaped her lips, little sounds of pleasure that she didn’t want to make. It felt…good.

No, it felt fucking great, but that was the big problem. She needed to keep people from realizing that she had dicks, had to keep from flashing others in public, and that wasn’t exactly easy when she was getting half a hard-on just from feeling her dicks swaying back and forth in her clothes.

[i]New underwear. Panties are too soft and – mmmph! Too smooth for this.[/i]

Somehow, having something else to focus on made the whole thing that little bit easier. She kept walking, keeping her head down and focusing on the task at hand. The shopping center would have plenty of clothing stores inside, and that would take care of her pleasure problem. Her cocks would probably fit better in male underwear, anyway, rather than the smooth, soft, satin things that she was wearing now, things that caressed and teased, and –

“Mmmph!”

She had to stop, leaning against the metal pole that housed the crosswalk signs. The feeling of her dicks swaying had gotten her pussy in on the action, not to be ignored by her throbbing heat down there. She gritted her teeth as her sex started dampening, adding to the whole mess between her legs.

“Not helping…really not helping…”

Waiting for the clenching to stop and the heat from her dicks to slowly subside, she gathered herself together. It took her a full minute, and she had to find some sort of distraction for that.

She found it in the ads that were burning on the billboards all around her. Each one had been replaced in the last year or so, the humans removed and replaced with those that had taken permanent – or at least, advertised permanent – Recro-TFs. Most of them were non-sexual, with some showing that they had gotten cheetah legs for running, or horse muscles for work. Some showed that they had gone further, getting the ears of a rabbit for DJ work, and some had gone so far as to show the sort of bodies that they got from the use of Recro-TFs.

Of course, there were others, too. There was one that showed a stingray woman, one that leaned back against a brick wall, showing off a bulge in her pants. A heavy, thick bulge that seemed to go in two directions. Amelia blushed a bit as she looked at that one, almost feeling a kinship to the bestial woman.

[i]Not that I’d ever go that far…[/i]

Even if this was a nice distraction, a way to enjoy herself, she doubted that she’d ever take up the rest of the Recro-TFs back at the house. They were…fun, but she doubted that it was for her. There was something that just didn’t feel right. And besides, it had made her stupid, stupid enough to show herself off to the chat, and that had killed her ability to get anything more as anything but a porn streamer.

She sighed. That was the boner killer she needed. With her body back under control, she crossed the street, heading to the shopping center.

#

As she undressed in the dressing room, she looked down at the pair of boxer briefs that she’d picked out. She felt a little weird holding male underwear, feeling like she was crossing some sort of line, but at the same time, she had to admit that they looked a lot…roomier. If nothing else, there’d be space for her dicks, space for them to expand and then fall down again.

[i]And even if it’s not that smooth…[/i]

She ran her fingers along the inner fabric. It was smooth, not entirely rough, not nearly as much as she expected, at least. At the same time, she knew that it was rougher than the panties, and that was what she needed. Something that wasn’t stimulating her with every step.

She took off the shorts and her underwear, looking at herself in the mirror. The feeling of being this…odd…only added to the weird feelings that had been running through her. Despite all the problems that her cocks had caused her since getting them, she had to admit that she kind of liked the feeling of them hanging between her legs.

[i]Heh…not to mention how much they pissed people off…[/i]

The fact that the whole chat had been begging for pussy, and then got so angry when they got the opposite, was almost a fun thing for her. It had flipped in her mind from being so horribly embarrassing to being a kind of revenge, like she had gotten them back for what they were trying to get out of her. It didn’t make her feel happy, but it made her feel less hurt.

She cupped her cocks, shaking her head as she looked at the way that they throbbed together. They were half-hard, not fully hard, but they were still quite noticeable, popping out just above her pussy and making her look like something from a hentai anime. It was sexy, it was powerful…

[i]It’s kinda…dommy,[/i] she thought. [i]Weird.[/i]

She fondled herself a few times until she realized that she was on the verge of jerking off, then forced herself to stop. She let her cocks fall between her legs once more, and pulled up one pair of underwear, dragging it over her dicks and pressing them firmly against her crotch. After she pulled her shorts back up and saw that there was less of a bulge, less of an obvious pair of shafts, she nodded to herself.

[i]That’ll do.[/i]

Knock, knock.

“Occupied,” Amelia said.

“Hmmph.”

Someone outside moved on, and she snapped back to the reality. She had just tried on a pair of underwear, and she was going to have to go to the front desk to pay for the thing. That meant that she’d be…well, kind of exposing herself as needing them. Or wanting them, at the very least.

[i]…Great. Called a ‘futa’ by the chat, and now they’re going to call me a cross-dresser at the front desk…[/i]

This day was just getting better, wasn’t it?

#

She managed to get through the purchase with a straight face, though it took some effort. The trip home was better, no longer bound up by the feeling of her cocks swinging around, and she felt, if not happy, at least resigned to what had happened.

If the chat was going to be this bad, then she needed to move to a different website. She could only ban so many people before the streaming got impossible to sustain, and with the number of people that had broken the rules in the last chat, she was pretty sure that she had just hit that point. She needed to start from scratch.

She wished that she hadn’t listened to Damien. The whole idea of starting a nude stream wasn’t a good one. Either she needed to do the game stuff, or she needed to do the porn stuff. One niche or the other. You couldn’t do both without the audience getting corrupted by the expectations of naughtiness.

[i]And you can’t manage the porn people without giving them what they want. They expect that kind of persona, I guess…[/i]

Amelia sighed. She doubted that she could have kept that up, anyway. She was too embarrassed showing off her breasts, for crying out loud. How could she have gone further?

She walked through her front door and paused as she looked at the box of Recro-TFs still on the table. There were a lot of different drugs still left to try, and they would probably bring in all kinds of money, if she did it on stream. The very idea left a bad taste in her mouth, though. Nobody wanted that. They just wanted kink. They wanted her to be a whore, their personal whore, and –

Amelia sighed, rubbing her forehead. She needed to stop that before she dragged herself any further through the mud.

Walking through her place to her bedroom, she booted up the computer. She hadn’t bothered checking any messages before she left, and her phone had been the first thing that she’d noticed that she left behind. Opening her messages, though –

“Holy…”

Her mouth fell open as she stared at the top ten messages. Each one was a donation from someone in her stream, people that hadn’t been shouting at the top of their lungs at her, people that had been…well, not decent, because they hadn’t done anything to stop the barrage of hate, but had been silent about what they’d seen. The smallest donation was a hundred dollars. The top donation was nearly seven times that.

[i]Holy shit…[/i]

She dragged the screen down, looking at the other waiting messages. There were smaller donations further down, and they were more spaced apart, as well as messages of support, little things that mattered in a bigger way than she expected. Some had said that they were shocked, but surprised that they enjoyed the cocks that she showed off. Others asked where she had gotten them. Still others offered to keep watching if she didn’t mind being a little bit more exposed, saying that they did like the games, but wanted to see what she’d do with this new confidence and anger.

And some…

Some knew what the cocks meant. The big donators, in particular, seemed to know what the cocks meant. They asked her what else she had.

Amelia stared at the screen, slowly slumping back into her seat. That much in the way of donations was more than she had received in the last six months. One day, and she had gotten more than the gaming had in six months. She knew that she shouldn’t be surprised, that porn sold, but…

Holy fuck.

Buzz, buzz.

Reminded that her phone actually existed, Amelia rooted around until she found it under some papers at her desk. She flipped it over to see that it was Damien texting her again. Narrowing her eyes at the screen as she tried to decide whether she was furious at him or not, she flicked it and opened the text log.

[i]Hey, just checking to see if you’re streaming. Or did stream.

Hey, just – you okay? I want to make sure.

Oh, fuck, I just saw the records.

Oh, shit.

Oh shit.

Oh, you’re definitely not okay.

Call me when you can. I want to make sure that you’re not doing something stupid.

Please call me.[/i]

Amelia slowly let out a breath. For all that she had been furious with him for recommending that she do this in the first place, she had to give him credit for being concerned and not being a complete dick about it. He’d been the one that had started this, yes, but at least he could see the monsters that had come onboard with all the problems.

She tapped the screen, letting it go to a call. Holding the phone to her ear, she counted the rings.

One.

Two.

Three.

On the fourth one, he picked up, panting and sounding like he’d just run a marathon. She had an odd sense of satisfaction from that, and smiled.

“[i]Amelia?[/i]”

“I’m here,” she said.

“[i]Thank god. I was worried.[/i]”

“What, you think I’d start hurting myself with that?”

“[i]I’ve seen people do it for less stupid reasons.[/i]”

“…Less stupid?”

“[i]Sorry, that…that wasn’t what I meant. They were being horrible. I just didn’t want you to…you know…[/i]”

“Losing some of your credit there, you know.”

“[i]Sorry. My bad.[/i]” He was quiet for a moment, then asked the obvious question. “[i]Where did you get the Recro-TFs?[/i]”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” She sighed, rubbing her face. “It’s a temporary one.”

For now, at least. She knew that the cocks were due to start shrinking in a day or two. The small doses, temporary ones, never lasted for more than a few days. A week, at the most, before one started turning human again. You could add more of a dose to get up to a month, but past that, you needed to take a permanent dose, and that would mean going over a line that you could never backtrack.

The more that she thought about it, the more that it intrigued her. She wasn’t…offended by her cocks, surprisingly. If anything, she felt rather comfortable with them.

“[i]I’m glad you didn’t do anything stupid.[/i]”

“What do you mean, anything stupid? I’m not going to hurt myself.”

“[i]No, no, I meant…you know, stupid. Selling yourself to get the drugs or something like that.[/i]”

“Oh…right.”

“[i]You didn’t, did you?[/i]”

“What? No, god no. They just…turned up. And I tried one out.”

“[i]…And they worked? Jesus Christ, woman.[/i]”

“It was [i]fine.[/i] And besides, considering you pushed me to actually do this in the first place.”

“[i]I know, but…[/i]”

“But what?”

“[i]I thought, you know…I didn’t think you’d do it. I thought it was just teasing.[/i]”

“…You what?”

“[i]…I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry, I just –[/i]”

“No, you listen to me. [i]You[/i] recommended this,” she said, sitting up in her chair. “You were the one that pushed me to try going nude. You were the one that told me that it was the best way to start growing my channel. You were the one that kept going on and on about how it was going to get me all kinds of followers, that I could keep the gaming and the naughty separate, and now you say that you were just joking? What, thought you could get some sneaky nudes out of me this way?”

“[i]I – you – that’s not –[/i]”

“I think it was.” Amelia shook her head. “Fuck you, Damien. Fuck you.”

She ended the call right then and there, blocking his number and tossing the phone over her shoulder. It landed on the bed, falling silent. Before he could get around to using her other services to get in touch, she stepped away from the computer, throwing herself through the house to the bathroom. She needed a long, hot shower to wash that slime off her heart.

#

Getting out of the shower with her skin still steaming, she saw her phone glowing. That probably meant that Damien had tried to get around the block that she’d put on his calls and messages, but she wasn’t going to deal with that right now. She had other things to start putting together.

So, he had been fooling around with her. He’d gotten her into this fucking mess, and it was up to her to get herself out of it. Damien might be trying to get back into her good books, but after dropping her into this pit, he was going to have to do a hell of a lot more than just apologize to buy his way back into them.

With her cocks feeling a little longer after the stretch of the hot water, she sat down with a bit more care than usual. Pulling up her stream notifications and chat logs, she blocked every single asshole that had been part of the abuse. The ban list of 105 people grew to nearly two hundred by the time she was done, leaving her no more than twenty subscribers at the end. She had banned almost all of her subscribers, and that meant that she was taking quite the risk going forward.

However, without risk, there was no chance of making good. She had twenty people that had been willing to stand with her, who had sent her messages about what they wanted, and had been open and respectful about getting what they wanted from her. They had never made demands, but rather requests, and they had apologized – some of them, at least – for not speaking up during the tirade that she’d suffered.

That meant that she had a base. Not a good, clean base, but at least one that would treat her decent. She could give them something for treating her like a person, rather than a commodity.

She looked over her shoulder back to the living room, where the crate of Recro-TF waited. That was her nest egg, now. She could sell the drugs on the street for under-regulation prices, and that would probably feather her bank account enough to keep her going for years. But if she used them…

[i]It won’t be much, not after that last set of donations, but it will spread the word…[/i]

And more to the point, with all the Recro-TFs…she could be someone else. She could be someone that was worth filming and showing to the world. She could be someone less shy, less…insular.

And when she was done, she could go back to being Amelia, the boring gamer girl. She could go back, and then nobody would remember her. She could start over somewhere else, somewhere that didn’t know that she had been some big-boobed, big-lipped, big-dicked lady that made bank on her body.

[i]I can go back anytime I want,[/i] she thought. [i]Just…need to do this for a little while.[/i]

Damien had dropped her in Hell. But when in Hell, do as the demons do, or some shit like that. She started typing out an invitation to a stream the following day – well past noon, just in case her dicks pulled some bullshit like they had last night and she needed to sleep in – and made sure that it was private. She was not going to put this out there for the world to see, and besides, she wanted this little group to feel as special as they had made her feel.

They deserved that much, at least.

[b][u][center]The End[/center][/u][/b]

Summary: Amelia ends up embarrassing herself, and then coming to a stark, angry decision.

Tags: F/solo, Dicks, Double Dicks, Learning to Deal with Dicks, Crossdressing, Streaming, Exhibitionism, Exposure, Humiliation, Series, Shame, Human, Drugs,