FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

I clicked on the TV and hopped on the couch, spreading out across it. Raia glared at me.

“And just where am I supposed to sit?" She asked. Given, I was taking up the whole couch, but that didn't mean she didn't have a place to sit.

I simply gestured down my body, grinning like an idiot.

She took me up on the offer, to my surprise, and planted herself on my stomach.

“For someone who wants to move slowly in a relationship," She said, shifting on top of me, “You sure are an incorrigible flirt."

“Yeah, well…" I said. “You're one to talk, wiggling on top of me like this."

I turned my head and let my eyes rest on the TV, just relaxing. At some point, my hands came up and wrapped over Raia's stomach, which earned me a lick to the face, which I enjoyed a bit too much.

A bit later, we were still there, watching a movie now, but she wouldn't stop shifting around. Unfortunately for me, she was putting pressure and friction in just the right places.

“What the hell is that?" She asked.

“Uh… what?" I said, trying to sound innocent.

“Something is poking me in the ass."

I remained silent, unable to think of any excuse.

“It's you, isn't it?"

“Uh…"

“Right then." She said, rolling just wrong, bending “me" over myself.

“Ow! Shit, that hurts!" She shifted again.

“Control yourself better then."

“You're mean." I said, pouting like a child.

“Yeah, well…"

“You know, as much as I love the sarcasm," I said, feeling I was treading ice. “Could you not be so mocking? I mean, damn, you keep stealing all the shit I say."

She sat up and I pulled my legs from underneath her. She sort of… bit her lip and started speaking kind of flirty, the way women do when they're trying to work a guy over.

“Maybe I should talk like this, then." She let a sultry tone overtake her voice.

My expression fell. “Don't." I said in as monotone of a voice as possible.

“Why?" She dragged the syllable out and started to press up against me.

“Because," I said, tone unwavering as I tried to shift from her. “I said don't."

“Hmm." She hummed, the tone coming through it. “Am I making you nervous?"

I didn't respond. She kept pressing into me, and I tried to remain stoic, but soon I lost my patience.

I stood up and walked to the front door and pulled on my hoodie.

“What are you doing?" She asked. I didn't respond, just walked through the door and never stopped moving.

=====

It was raining, hard. Visibility was shit, but I didn't mind, I'd have rather not been seen. Tears rolled down my face, but they were invisible through the rain. I was soaked, wet to the marrow, but I didn't care. I just kept walking, didn't know, didn't care where I went. My thoughts raced, but my brain felt sluggish, like it was running in place; moving fast and getting nowhere. I hated this. Despite what I thought, the similarities were there. I had to question, was she created for me, or created from me?

I knew she was following me. I doubt she knew of my silent tears. I doubt she knew what she did. I don't doubt she'd feel bad. I doubted she'd ever stop me. So, like before, I made the move; I stopped myself.

I must have looked strange, just standing there in the rain, but before long, I felt my body swept from the street. I found myself under a tree, just large enough to divert the torrent. Raia appeared pissed, but her expression changed. She saw my tears, I knew it, and I knew she'd ask.

“What's wrong?" She said, sternly, as she took hold of my shoulders.

I wanted to dodge the question. I wanted to lie. But I didn't. “So much." That was the most truth I could bear.

She looked as if she'd speak again, so I cut her off. I took hold of her sides, pulled her into me and wrapped my arms around her as tight as I could, letting the tears flow, like they never had before.

We leaned against the tree, standing, with her stroking my hair despite me towering around her. Towering, yeah, I felt real big. I was tiny in my mind, in reality as I cried like a child. I was the one who was supposed to comfort. I was the one who had to stay strong. But this was a break in me, a break that never fused back right.

I can't really say how long we were there. I doubt it was much more than ten minutes, because eventually I broke from her embrace and looked her in the eyes, tears glazing over mine, as I searched for something to say.

She didn't let me though, she decided to initiate. “Luke, what's wrong? Please, just tell me. I want to help you, but I don't know what to do."

I sighed. “Alright." I said, sitting on the surprisingly dry ground. “Sit down. I have a story to tell you."

She sat, but a worried expression came over her which refused to leave.

=====

I'd like to think that I'm a nice guy. Maybe a bit out there, I get a bit crazy occasionally, but I've been told I'm a good person. I've never been friends with a lot of people, though, and it's my fault. I never talk to anyone. Those I do, people who are somewhat like me, pretty quiet, seem to like me, but there's a fairly large, glaring exception. Girls.

Yes, I am, to put it in my favorite terms, “one lonely bastard". I've met only a few girls who treated me decent, and of them, there were only two that I really tried to start a relationship with. The first was an utter failure, I was turned down and given a crappy excuse. No scorn carried, I got over it. The second was a lot more messy.

She was a friend of a friend, sounds like I was set up, and I was, in a way. The catch was that she was in a relationship. She was taken, but I was told by a couple of people, conveniently a couple themselves, that she liked me in a “more-than-friends" way when I expressed similar feelings toward her, but not to her. I, like always, was content to suffer as a result of my inability to initiate, but this time it wasn't my choice. I was told, forced really, to talk to her, become friends. We did and we talked. I was somewhat hopeful.

But then, I saw the noose around my feet. She asked me if I had feelings for anyone at the time, and I froze. I went crazy in my head, but trudged on. I told her I did, for her. She was surprised, and we both lost it, knowing she couldn't reciprocate, even though she wanted to. She was told I liked her by one of our mutual friends, who laid the aforementioned noose around my feet, leaving this girl to pull the rope.

We became close. I was stupid, I was too close. I began to love her, and she tried her best to imply she did without saying it, to avoid infidelity in her mind. It was bliss and heartbreak every day. I should have left, she should have too. If she'd cared about me, she'd have never let it happen. Eventually, I decided I couldn't do it anymore. I told her we had to stop. It wasn't fair to either of us. So, I ended it. It hurt, but I knew it was right. Nothing good can come from such lies.

She told me, the night I told her I liked her, to prove it.

“How?" I asked.

“Kiss me."

“I can't. I-I… I just can't."

She said she understood. It was hard. She knew. She understood. But boundaries were never her forte. She liked to tease me, speak and act like a temptress to get under my skin. I hated how well she could screw with me.

“Don't you like it when I talk like this?" She said as I sat silent, gulping air down my throat in an attempt to control myself.

“No…" I choked out.

“Why?" She kept on, “Does it make you nervous?"

=====

The rain kept pouring down, harder and harder. Raia looked totally shocked. She shouldn't have to trouble herself over this, it's my fault I'm not over it.

“It's not your fault." I said, solemn. “I should be over it by now."

“No," She choked, tears flowing down the slicked fur under her eyes. “I care about you. I want you to be happy. But I don't want to leave you. I can change. She wasn't willing to."

“No." I said “She wasn't. She was selfish. I really doubt she ever cared."

Raia sniffled through her tears, as did I. I pulled her in. This is where I was comfortable. Me keeping her happy.

“All I want," she said, “is for you to be happy."

I smiled as silver haze came around my vision. “Come on, Raia. Let's go home."

=====

We re-entered the house, soaking wet. I went to the bathroom and stripped off my hoodie and jeans, grabbing dry clothes and a towel. When I returned, I saw Raia standing on the tile of the entryway, a large puddle forming around her feet. I smiled, admiring how she looked.

“You know," I said, walking over, “You're pretty cute when you're waterlogged." She didn't respond, just moved her arm over my head before squeezing the fur of her forearm with the other hand, raining water over me. I managed to get the towel up to catch most of the water, but she actually got my hair wetter than it already was.

“Just dry me off." She said. I should have just handed her the towel, but I opted for drying her off myself, as she requested. I took the towel in both hands and began to briskly rub her all over, starting from the arms, not unlike how I had used to with my golden retriever. The fur, though dry, began to fluff up as I worked my way around her. I got to her face, which I gently fluffed, rather than the brisk treatment I'd given her arms and shoulders. I worked around her stomach, enjoying the feel of the firm muscle underneath. From there, I worked farther down, but I paused just as I finished her stomach.

“Why did you stop?" She asked.

“Erm…" I was trying to find an “eloquent" way to word my predicament. “Well… you see… I kinda have to... uh…"

She followed my gaze and flushed red enough for me to see through her fur. “Oh."

“Yeah… so I should just…"

“Just go slow." She said. My jaw dropped a bit.

“I-if you say so." I stuttered a bit.

I fluffed down her flanks and around her paws and ankles. Easy part's over.

I sighed, opting to take the most “natural" route possible to not seem a pervert. I reached for her tail and grabbed it, squeezing out some water. I began to fluff it from the end with the towel, working down to the base. I decided to try to make quick work of her ass, rubbing it somewhat roughly, which unfortunately forced a noise out of her the likes of which made both of us uncomfortable.

The noise, which I refuse to describe in more detail than that, reminded me she wanted me to go slow. Goddamn it, I've never done this before! I thought.

I started from the knee and worked up the inner thigh, resulting in more noises from her. It might make me seem a bit weird, to be uncomfortable, but I guarantee you any guy who says he wouldn't be is talking a bigger game than he's got. Finished with one side, I started and finished the other. Now… the last bit, I remember thinking. I once again abandoned her request for a slow pace, quickly fluffing up between her legs, resulting in a visible shudder from her.

Now finished with my infinitely uncomfortable task, I draped the towel on a nearby rack and turned back to Raia, who had the look of a tiger eyeing a piece of meat blazing wildly in both eyes.

“Oh, crap." I ever-so-wisely uttered, before she tackled me. Looking back, I'm really glad I dried her off. It'd been a hell of a mess if I hadn't.

=====

I was on the couch again when I woke up. Raia was on top of me. We'd gotten kinda into it and I'd decided there was less of a chance of breaking something if we were on the couch.

I really just wanted to lay there; I was tired and I didn't want to wake her up. Life hates me too much for that though.

My digivice began to go off, but I simply ignored it. Can't mess with the plotline too much, I thought, shit'll start getting messy.

Instead, I woke up Raia, let her complain about having to move, and went to my computer. It was already on, I never turn it off, so I plugged in earbuds and started up some music. As much as I hate using earbuds, I was minus a headset, so I had no choice.

I pulled up Raia's src and set Notepad++ to a couple different codes, but none of highlights really looked like they made sense. I was confused and slightly irritated because, without a proper code guideline, I was bound to fuck something up. As I puzzled over this, I minimized the window to switch songs, and I noticed a new icon, sticking out in the middle of my desktop. I knew I hadn't put it there because I put all my icons in the corners of the screen so I could see my wallpapers. DIDE was the name of the program, with a blue square with a static noise pattern over it as the icon. Confused even more and feeling a bit adventurous, I went against my better judgment and opened it. A window opened with a header-line that read “Digimon Integrated Development Environment" on the bar.

I was surprised. This was a development tool for Digimon code. It must have installed when I'd imported Raia's data. I attempted to open an existing project and clicked Raia's src. The window then split into halves. On the left was a code window with a library database and the right was a 3D render, not unlike a 3D image editor. As I played with the code, I saw changes forming on the render, everything from fur color to extreme augments. I did notice an anomaly in the fur color, which had a couple if statements attached. It looked like it was set to change under certain circumstances, but the variables used were vague enough that I couldn't tell what they were or even guess at them.

I decided to set it aside, thinking it was probably some extraneous digivolution code. Besides, it's fur color. Hardly affects performance. Instead, I started working on a few moves and effects, which I either embedded into Raia's moveset or wrote to my digivice, which I had discovered could be connected and also contained Raia's code. The digivice could then write the codes onto any card I swiped through it, allowing me to create custom cards, though each had limitations, side effects, or costs based on the effect created.

After messing with the code for a bit, I'd created a few new moves, augmented a few cards, and generally just got a feel for the construction of a digimon. Honestly, I walked away with the best headache of my life. It was all so confusing, yet I managed to grasp it to some extent. These coders knew what they were doing.

I walked back out to find the couch unoccupied. Hmm. Bad sign. Knowing how Raia had been acting, she was probably up to some mischief.

I flicked on the TV for some noise in the room and relaxed as I waited for my headache to pass. After a while, Raia came back into the room, but she did something strange.

Rather than coming over to sit with me, she opted for another seat a ways away from me. I was curious and slightly worried. Why was she avoiding me? On closer inspection, I noticed she was tense in her posture. Hmm. Someone needed a good poke with the troll stick.

"You cool over there?"

She didn't answer. I gave the question a moment to hang awkwardly before trying again.

"Hey, Raia, you alright?"

Still no response.

"Hey!" I shouted. She snapped her head up and looked at me. "Finally! What's wrong with you?"

She stared for a second before responding. "Nothing." was her terse reply. Something was up.

"Raia, don't lie to me." I said, getting ready to get up. She tensed up quickly and obviously, as if she were about to break into a sprint. "Don't run. Just don't. I'm not pulling some stupid chase shit with you."

She seemed to relax a bit, but when I fully stood up, I barely had time to take a step before she was off like a rocket.

"God damn it, Raia. Why are you running?" I called after her. I thought about following her, but decided against it. I'd never catch her, besides, she had something on her mind, that was clear enough. I figured it was better to let her get her shit straight first.

=====

A few hours later, Raia stumbled back into the house, literally. Her legs were diced up and she was bleeding from a gash on her arm.

"Raia!" I yelled when I saw her. "What the fuck happened to you!?"

"Got in a fight." She muttered through staggered breaths.

"With what!? A goddamn gang of Champions?" I said as I went for gauze. "Stand still, I need to get those wounds cleaned and wrapped."

As I came back with gauze, I saw she'd sat down and was panting. I walked past her to get a brown bottle out of one of the cabinets.

"What's that?" She spoke through her ragged breathing.

"It cleans wounds, although I don't know if it'll work for you or if you even need it, but it's worth the measure of precaution." I uncapped the bottle and held it over her arm, gesturing for her to hold it out. "This is gonna burn some, but it'll clean the shit outta that cut so I can cleanly bandage it." She nodded briskly, and tensed in preparation for the pain. I gently poured the clear liquid into the gash, being sure not to pour too much. The instant it made contact, the liquid fizzed and Raia ripped her arm back, nearly howling in pain.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" She screamed.

"Hydrogen peroxide. It kills bacteria in a cut and that gash looks shallow enough that it seemed like a good idea to use it." I started to unroll the gauze as I spoke. "Stick your arm back out so I can wrap it. This will hurt too, but it should hurt less." She presented her arm to me and I wrapped gauze tightly around it, just short of cutting off circulation. I then went to work on her legs, sprinkling them with peroxide and wiping the blood out of her fur.

"What the hell happened, Raia?" I asked as I worked on her.

She looked away, trying simply to avoid my gaze.

“Raia , what's wrong? You need to talk to me here."

She mumbled something that I couldn't begin to understand and this evasiveness was starting to piss me off.

“Raia, what the hell is going on with you?" I said, tying off the gauze. “You ran out of here after completely ignoring me and you come back looking like you got the shit kicked out of you. Hell, the only explanation I have to go off of is “got in a fight". What can I do with that?"

She started to cry and I felt remorse begin to nag at me.

“I'm sorry." I couldn't tell you who said it honestly.

“I'm a freak of data." She said finally. “A damn glitch."

“What are you talking about? You're perfectly normal." I said, trying to reassure her.

“No," She choked. Tears soaked ruts in her fur. “I'm a mutt."

A mutt. I honestly couldn't process what I was hearing. I must've repeated her though, because she confirmed it and held one of her arms up.

She pulled off an arm guard to reveal a large patch of silver fur that the guard barely concealed, sleek and shiny, in contrast to her fluffy yellow fur.

“What the hell…"

“I told you," she said. “I'm just a shitty batch of code. Corrupted."

“The hell you are." I said, remembering the conditional statement I'd seen before. “This is something that was coded in. The conditions for the change aren't complete though."

She looked at me with newfound hope. “What?"

“Yeah, you're supposed to be that color," I said, gesturing to the patch of silver. “Why you were hatched yellow, I'll never know. Maybe that's how all Renamon are born."

“So," She sniffled. “What are the conditions for the change?"

“I really don't know. The code was vague as all hell."

“Maybe I should look at it." She said, slowly standing. I rose with my shoulder underneath her arm to support her.

“Worth a shot. Come on." I said, slowly walking her through the house.

=====

I pulled up the file and did a quick search to zero in on the line, finding it in a couple seconds.

“Alright, there it is. What do you make of it?" I asked, leaning back in my chair as she studied the screen.

She blushed a bit and looked away.

“And?" I asked expectantly. “What is it?"

“I… couldn't read it." She said after a pause.

Bullshit. I could tell she was lying, but given all she'd been through in the past couple hours, I decided to let it slide.

“Alright." I said, resigned. “I guess we'll find out when it happens." She turned to me and nodded.

I stood and walked out of the room with her. “Come on, let's get you to bed, you need to recover." And with that, I limped her to the bed and she sprawled across the sheets like a ragdoll. Looking upon her for the fleeting moment before I laid alongside her, I gave myself plenty of thoughts to fall asleep to. I took note of her form, elegantly outlined against the monochrome of the sheets, and wondered who it was who created her. Such a magnificent beast, one I had all to myself, yet who could think of it? A thousand incredible details an artist would never think of, strength and speed which would defy quantification, beauty and spirit rivaling any muse, who could create this? God? I would have to think, no mortal could create such a thing consciously, without divine inspiration.

My thoughts faded into more mundane topics as my mind began to close up shop. I admired the feel of the bed, not unlike mine at home, as this was my first time using it. I took a few moments to appreciate the warmth and comfort of Raia clutching to me in an almost desperate embrace as she drifted into what I had to hope was a peaceful sleep.

Despite the slowing of my mind, I couldn't fall asleep. It didn't worry me, I was used to it happening, and decided to shift a bit and try to relax. What I ended up doing though, was turn and end up face-to-muzzle with Raia. Tired, bored, and generally not in my right mind, I decided to do a series of things, some of which were probably stupid. First, I drew her closer, letting her wrap herself around me more in her sleep. Second, I sort-of eskimo-kissed her and then gave her a few light kisses. Third, and this is where the stupidity really begins, I think, I kissed her full-on, rousing her from sleep slightly. Her eyes began to flutter open and I'm fairly certain instinct took over from there. At that point, my brain had shut down to the point that I can't really recall and I doubt I was in control of my actions.