FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

The forest was as calming as ever. The afternoon sunlight created a pleasing gold against the green leaves, giving them a yellow tinge. Leo looked to his left to see Missy closely following next to him. In a way it felt more calming that she was here. Can't be trusted at home, he supposed. Nor did he have that uneasy feeling of proximity. What happens in the house stays in the house, he supposed. "Where're we going?" Missy asked suddenly.

"It's a walk. I'm going anywhere I want to."

"Not into a bear, though, right?"

"Bears really don't like humans. You don't have to worry about that."

"What if they like Wolficuses? Huh? Huh?"

"I doubt that too." But if she could play human at home, he supposed there was nothing stopping another one playing bear in the woods. "Just in case you better not go running off."

"Nuh uh, I'm not. Who's gonna protect me out there?"

"You think I can go against a bear?"

"I saw you hang that TV, I bet you could suplex a bear." Missy's hyperboles had become a welcome treat.

"You helped too."

"Yeah but I couldn't help suplex a bear."

As they continued through a winding path in the forest, the light lessened from a brilliant gold to a soft blue. It was getting cloudy, but it wasn't supposed to rain today, so he figured it was fine. As long as it didn't become foggy, Missy shouldn't kick a fit either.

"Have you ever seen some other guy walk through here?" Missy asked.

Leo tilted his head. "No. Just me." He had never thought about it.

"So I can be as loud as I want?"

"Not unless you want to attract bears."

Missy bumped his shoulder. "Don't say that. Bears are really scary." They continued walking forward until they came upon a gnarled and branched tree at the end of the long trail. "Ooh, ooh, I bet I can climb that faster than you!"

"I'm sure you can. Don't really feel like rubbing up a tree right now." Leo waved a hand. Despite that, his mind was already underway, figuring out foot placement and grabbing points. He could probably scale it in three or four moves, easy.

"Lame." Missy skittered over to the thing and quickly scaled it. She hardly made a sound as she did. Only the scratch of nail on wood echoed through the forest. It was then that Leo realized it was awfully quiet. Better than an orchestra of bugs. "Haven't lost my touch, huh?" Missy said. She pulled herself up onto a big branch and sat down. "Hello down there, Lion!" She waved. Leo waved back. "I was expecting somethin' cool up here, but it's just more trees."

"You do know it's a forest, right?"

"Yeah, but when we were kids it always felt like we were finding something cool." She looked back at something off in the distance. Leo followed her gaze. His gut turned in on itself as a uneasy familiarity buzzed in his head. The forest did always have something interesting. What was it? Leo stared hard at nothing as his thoughts roiled. Something in the snake ditch. In the thorny bushes. Past the tree with a face. At the edge of home. "Hey! Leo!" Missy said. She was back next to him. "You OK?" She waved a hand in front of him.

"I'm fine, just thought I heard something." Leo looked to her, cementing him back in the present.

"Yeah, right. I woulda heard it first."

"We're not that far apart."

"I woulda heard it better!"

"Fair enough."

"You wanna try climbing the tree too?"

"Not really." Leo turned on the spot and headed back down the trail.

"You're not scared'a trees, are ya?" Missy quickly took her spot next to him.

"Why would I be scared of trees?"

"Well, uh, I remember a long time ago when you fell."

"I fell all the time." And cried a lot too. A tinge of shame hit Leo. That was the past.

"Yeah but one time you went back home and I could hear your mom cry, and cry, and cry." She shrugged. "I don't remember you going on a lotta trees after that."

"I don't remember that at all. I don't even think you remember my mom."

"I do too. She always wore a t-shirt and jeans. Looked really funny back home, since ladies had dresses glued to them."

"You had a dress glued to you," Leo said. He chuckled as that mental image happily popped back into his thoughts. She looked more like a stuffed toy way back when.

"Yeah, and it would get caught on everything." She huffed. "Oh, and I remember your mom smelled a lot like dirt."

Leo raised his eyebrows. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"You know, the good kinda dirt!" Missy kicked up the path. "Fresh, garden-y dirt."

"You remember my dad then too?"

"...Not really."

"Maybe that's for the best."

Silence once again came over the forest. A faint cricket chirp here and there broke up the oppressive quiet. Leo considered striking another conversation with Missy, but he was dragged back to that spark in the forest. In the snake pit. Something reached out of there. Missy was there too. She was sad or maybe queasy. "Hey, you remember what I did when you fell?" Missy asked.

"Laughed?"

"No-- Well, yeah, sometimes!" Missy giggled and drew closer to his side. "But not always. Sometimes I would sing to you, and you would feel all better." Leo tried to remember any time that could have possibly happened. Aside from when she sang him to sleep, nothing came to mind. "You do remember, right?"

"Not particularly," Leo replied. He placed his hands in his pockets and took a different path on the way back home.

"Oh come on, I would hide under your bed and everything."

"You did what now?" Leo asked. He turned his head to look at her. A happy smile was plastered on her face, like that was the most normal thing a friend could do for another friend.

"I mean, not like I sang to you under there. I came out first."

"You better not do that anymore, alright?"

"There's a bunch of junk under your bed, so I can't." Thank God for that.

Leo continued on the path with Missy closely in tow. No matter how much he tried to ease away from her, she stuck to his side with glee. The path sloped downward, with the previous trail now a gentle hill that raised up next to them. This path lead further down into a small clearing that pushed up against the hill. Embedded in the side of the elevation was a flat rock, nestled in a nook. It looked like something of a fancy forest chair. Leo promptly moved over to the thing and sat down with a satisfied sigh. Missy wasn't far behind, taking her spot next to him.

"This is like a big ol' forest throne," Missy said. She examined the rock, running her fingers along it. "Of course, I'm the forest queen." Hardly befitting of the title when she was wearing her 'Momster' shirt.

"And what would that make me?"

"Forest baron."

"That's pretty low." Leo crossed his arms.

"But it sounds cooler than king, doesn't it?"

"I guess in a way."

Missy looked out at the forest and hummed. "This is nice." A breeze picked up her hair. For once she had a touch of elegance to her, as if she were actually a mature person. At this angle he could make out the slight underlying green in her eyes. There was a lightness in his chest and he shifted his gaze back to the forest. "You remember what I did after I sang?"

"I don't remember much, Missy." Not that he enjoyed that thought.

"Yeah, I know." She rubbed her fingers together and turned to him. "It was something like this." The woman tentatively raised her hand. Leo had half a mind to tell her off right then and there, but there was a warm familiarity to the situation. Her palm came to rest on his head. All of her fingers moved in a wave along his head while gently petting him. Leo's remaining distaste evaporated away as he lost himself in those simple motions. His eyes unfocused. His arms unfurled. His tension went slack. Missy was merely a black blob in his periphery as he stared out emptily at the blur of foliage.

Then it was gone, leaving Leo in a dazed reality. "Uh, alright then," he said. The man blinked. There was a sense of calm, yet a weird vulnerability at that core.

"You used to be a lot cuter about it." Missy pulled away her hand, disappointing and relieving Leo. "Did it work again? You looked like I made a bad joke."

"Can't say it did. I was weirded out a little, though." A half-truth was good enough.

"That's no fun, I really miss that kinda stuff. Really the only cool thing I could do for you." She leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder. "What else can I do as the forest queen, huh?"

"Could hunt more grouse for me. I wouldn't mind that."

"Bleh. I got feathers stuck in my teeth, and I'm not gonna get that gross 'pop' out of my head."

"Well, you could always hunt one with a rifle if you like," Leo said.

"No. I'm not doing that either. All that stuff goes on in factories a million miles away from me."

"If you insist." So they sat there, looking out into the wild. Leo still had remnants of that bizarre calming settling on him. What was even more strange was that Missy seemed to add to that calm. That was wrong, of course. Missy only ever brought unease and mild amusement. There couldn't possibly be a chance that she could wash calm over him. Yet, there it was. A pleasing serenity that was just like that unknowable lullaby she sang to him. However she did that, it was simply a fact he had to accept, that their connection ran deeper than he knew. Leo looked to Missy.

For once, that struck a pain in Leo's mind. There was a lot of bad he remembered, but if there truly was a nugget of good that he forgot, that was something of a disservice to Missy. Not that she needed any more servicing than she was already given, but indulging in the past was the least he could do. For a friend. A simple word for such a large aspect of his life. Something he could tell Missy wanted to be larger. Leo listened to her quiet breaths. Misguided, perhaps. Just like he couldn't remember the past, she could've been glorifying it. What else could she do, though? Her closest posessions now were her memories. Even the clothes on her back were provided by him. Maybe he had done too much to push her away, only fueling her more.

Leo quickly recognized Missy's gentle rise and fall of sleep. What was more rude, falling asleep on your friend, or waking them up? The man slowly settled on the latter. So he waited, and waited, and waited. The forest didn't lose its charm, even with a wolficus on one's shoulder. If anything that made it more calm. The scariest thing in the forest resting so peacefully in her cheesy t-shirt. Leo did want to go home eventually, though, so he gently shook his shoulder. No response. "Missy?" he whispered. Not a hint of a reaction. "Missy." She shifted a little. It probably wasn't an act. Probably.

If someone saw him now, he'd definitely be in trouble. Leo sighed and carefully took Missy into his arms. She was quite light. Leo had suspected as much, only he was surprised how much lighter she was in reality. How would you explain this one, he wondered. Someone playing dress-up? His poor pet wolf? Leo stood up. A really, really tan girl. He could probably pull that one off at a distance. Leo carefully took his first steps forward with Missy in his arms. Just add this to the long list of bad ideas. The man looked down at her. Still out like a light. That must be a crepuscular thing, or a nightmare monster thing. Leo looked back to the road, looking about for any passerbys. Unlikely, but you never know when you might get caught with your hands on the cryptid.

The sky only darkened further, leaving the forest in a greyish blue. Leo would've fallen asleep too if given the chance. Missy probably couldn't carry him back, but she would probably drag him back at the very least. She turned in his arms, pushing her muzzle against his chest. The sensation tickled, annoyingly. That wasn't mentioning the subtle squish of her chest against him. Just think of it as extra exercise, he told himself. Now he could feel every breath she took. Soft, warm breaths ran across his skin, pushed through his shirt. She had gotten being cute down to a science to the point where she could do it unconsciously.

A whistling wind ran through the trees, bringing with it a nip of cool air. A good thing he brought his jacket. Something else still pierced that garment, like eyes on him. An instinctual gut feeling that someone was watching him. Could've been nothing. He had worse feelings out in public. Also could've been a bear. Then he had nothing to fear, since he was already carrying the most terrifying thing there. Missy's expression remained in that peaceful calm, so it wasn't a fog monster. Leo almost wished it was, so he could punch it right in its face for ruining a perfectly good day. He shook his head. The monstress had already left her mark on him with all her silly worries and amusements.

Their home came into view through all the shrubbery, so Leo picked up the pace. The only sounds now were the crunch of dead leaves below. As he came up to the door, Leo realized unlocking it would be something of a challenge. With an awkward hand slithering into his pocket, and partially holding up Missy with a raised leg, Leo managed to yank his keys free and unlock the door. A firm nudge allowed him to get in and another closed the door behind him. He waddled over to her room and set her down on the bed.

"You better actually be asleep," Leo said. The twitch of her nose as she slept was awfully cute. His vision lingered on her a little longer before realizing the hypocrisy. There was a moment of consideration of whether or not he should pull the sheets up on her. No, she has clothes and fur, she'll be fine. Then Missy turned on her side and curled. Alright, fine. Leo pulled a blanket over her and walked out of her room. "Why yes, you did stumble back home in your sleep," Leo mumbled to himself. "Me? No. I would never." He looked out the window, noticing the sprinkling of rain. Good thing he rushed home.

_

The pitter patter had turned into a full blown storm. A nice change of pace from the quiet, especially for dinner. The mud might be an issue later, though. Leo set that thought aside and cut into his steak, taking a bite. Perfect. "Is it good?" he asked Missy.

Missy prodded at her steak but eventually took a taste. "Yep, that's pretty good," she replied. Then it was back to the rattle of rain. Something was on her mind. Leo could tell by the way her large eyes bore into him every time she thought he wasn't looking. She could've been gawking for any reason. There could be something stuck to his face or she was wondering how best to break the news that she tore up her bed. Dinner continued with that awkward glaring up until its very end.

"Hand me your plate," Leo said. Missy obliged, sliding it over to him. "Thank you." He went to clean up the plates. Then the worst happened. The lights went out. Here we go. Missy gasped. "Relax. It's only the storm." He placed the dishes in the sink. No way he was cleaning without a clear light.

"So you gonna fix it?"

"What do you expect me to do?"

"I dunno. You're a super fixer guy, I thought maybe you could do something for it," Missy replied. The man was somewhat flattered by the thought. He decided not to mention the generator he had in case of true emergencies. No wasting gasoline so Missy can watch rubber monster men.

"Guess I'm off to bed. Night." Leo placed a hand on the counter and felt his way across the room. His hand brushed against something furry, bringing him to a stop. "Excuse me."

"No way I'm going to bed now. It's not even ten."

"Well, the storm says otherwise, so not much you can do about it."

"We can do something fun in the meantime, can't we?"

"Such as?" Leo presented the room. He couldn't see the gesture, but he knew Missy could.

"We could talk," Missy said. The plain suggestion threw him off.

"What could we talk about, Missy?"

"Not here, on the couch," she replied. The woman grabbed him by the hand and lead him over to what was probably the couch. His eyes were adjusting to the darkness but it was still a sea of black. Missy herself was merely a blob against the dark backdrop.

"Well?" Leo said with a shrug. "That enough talking for the night?"

"C'mon, yoy're always about taking a moment to smell the flowers or whatever. Don't you wanna talk?"

"I'd rather sleep." Especially in this serene silence. The general hum of life was snuffed out, replaced by a Wolficus wanting to talk. "Right now, anyways."

"Hey, we could do what we always did when the power went out."

"And that would be?"

"Go under the sheets and tell stories!"

"I don't know any stories. Real or not. Plus I'd just fall asleep." His eyes tried to adjust and focus on Missy. She could've been making faces at him in the dark and he wouldn't know it. "Is something bugging you?"

"The power goin' out, yeah. That bugs me a whole heck of a lot!" She raised her hands and let them plop back down, which was only barely audible over the increasing rain. Leo didn't reply. If she didn't want to prod it, neither would he, but it was best if they just got it out of the way. "Thanks for the TV, by the way. Wish I could watch it right now. Stupid storm."

"No problem. Glad you like it." It was odd having a conversation with a blob in the darkness. "That it?"

"No, c'mon, we can talk more. Uhm, what's your boss like?"

"What?"

"You know, the guy you talk to all the time. Your friend? He thinks you love me?"

Leo furrowed his brow. Right, forgot about that little event. "He's a nice guy. Maybe too nice. Older. Large. Likes pizza."

"He sounds super cool. Does he uh, know about me?"

"You mean the fact that you're an unknowable monster from the woods?"

"Yeah. That."

"No, he doesn't know, and nobody else knows." Leo hesitated to add 'and nobody will'. A little too harsh. "Not that I would expect him to believe me."

"Well, some people know. Your parents do, right?"

"I don't know."

"What did your mom say about me?"

Leo rolled his eyes. "You really shouldn't eavesdrop, Missy."

There was a pause. "Sorry, but can you blame me? I haven't seen her in like, a decade. Not like there's a lotta people I can keep in touch with."

"If you must know, she doesn't think you're real." He wasn't far behind her.

"Well that's a little mean. I'm very real." She placed a hand on his shoulder, shook him, and then pulled away. "I'm probably the realest person there is!"

"Believe me, I know."

"How can she think I'm imaginary? I saw her all the time. Well, like, from a distance, but she saw me too!"

"When did she ever see you?" Leo moved to better face her, as pointless as that was.

"You know, we used to play all the time and I'm pretty sure she saw me." Missy hummed. "I'm pretty sure she saw me when Mom came over once."

"Mom?"

"Er, Ms. Swanson. Anyways, she sure saw me then. Pretty mean that she would forget me."

"I'm sure she has her reasons to forget. Don't worry about it." For his sake, mostly.

"Fine. I guess that means no reunion."

"I don't think that's happening, no." There was a long silence, leaving only the torrent of rain to fill the void. "Is that it, then?"

"Stop asking that."

"Is everything OK?"

"Whaddya mean?"

"Never mind."

Another pause. "Alright, I guess a little..." There it was. "I'm sorry."

"About what?" Leo asked. The man eased back onto the cushions and looked to the blank TV in front of them. He'd kill to turn on the television right about now.

"I'm just scared."

"About the storm?"

"Not the storm!" She sighed. "I'm scared you hate me," she said with a whimper. It was that, wasn't it? His body began to simmer with shame and something else.

"We've been over this, Missy. I don't hate you." That felt wrong. Like he was saying the right thing in the wrong way. "I didn't hate you before, I sure won't hate you now, alright?"

"I know but... You know," she said. Of course he knew. It sat on his mind. A tumor that he'd never shake free. A gentle touch to help a friend. Only it wasn't gentle. It wasn't just friendly. He thought about it and her a little too much. Sometimes he could still feel the sensation of her fur on his skin. And he didn't know how to feel about it.

"I don't hate you, Missy. Not even because of that, alright?" He wanted to move. Get away from this situation. Yet the bit of furniture and his own resolve had him trapped. Sure, he could get up, walk away, but he didn't want to. This had to be snuffed at the source, right?

"Maybe you should. I'm sorry." Being near Missy at that moment had his skin searing. Hotly, worriedly.

Leo swallowed. Take this logically. "You needed it, right?" No response. "And it hurts, right?" Silence. "Then it makes sense. That's it." Still, the burning persisted. If he could punch himself in this very moment, he would, but his muscles tensed up. How could you be so stupid as to do any of this? You fell for it right from the start. A friend that you couldn't let go. Your own imaginary buddy that broke all the tedium of day to day life. He had to realize some part of him, no matter how small, enjoyed something else other than this life, and he hated it. A simple shake up of life that wasn't as bad as you thought, was it? Better, even. You just can't handle it, stuck in the schedule of your life as you are.

Missy continued her silence. Were it not for her breathing, Leo might've not even believed she was there at all. Story of his life, right? He turned to her and reached out, placing a hand on her shoulder. Was that the right thing to do? "I like having you here, alright?" he said. The words slid across his tongue like concrete. He believed them, no doubt, but he was lying to himself in another way with their subdued nature. "Just forget about all that other stuff, I do enjoy having you here." That was a rung higher, but not quite right.

"Are you sure?" Missy whispered, nearly muffled by the rain. She had good reason to doubt him. Why can't you say it like a normal person? Treat her like a normal person? Leo relaxed himself and moved over to her, pulling her into a hug. Missy instantly embraced him in turn, squeezing him tightly. It didn't feel so bad this time. In fact, it brought a welcoming sense of warmth to him. Leo's body relaxed, easing his mind in the process. The woman pulled back, keeping her arms on his own. The light faintly glinted off her eyes. She was pretty cute, wasn't she? Missy leaned in, bringing him into a kiss, or as good as one she could manage with her snout. Her breath pushed across his face, sighing into him.

Then it was gone. They both pulled away. Leo's heart hammered in unease and confusion. Missy stared back, frozen in surprise. "I think it's time we went to bed," Leo said. Missy managed a nod and eventually peeled herself away from the couch. Leo rubbed his eyes and quickly returned to his room. He undressed and buried himself in the sheets. The sensation of her lips lingered on his skin. Leo knew that she wanted more all along, but to grasp it so directly... His heart still hammered. He was confused, of course. Leo himself could've pulled away at any moment, but he didn't. The unconscious body was all for it, but that was because he was confused, right? When's the last time you had a kiss? Years? Leo sighed and turned on his side.

Common decency had become more scarce in his mind. He was letting himself fall into her silly games and ridiculous habits, and yet he didn't hate it. There was room for both. And Missy? She had improved so much over time. Thinking back to the pain that she was when she first knocked on his door, she was practically a different person. There was always the possibility that she was always just the goofy, cute girl that wanted to watch monster movies, and that was simply a front. Leo himself had changed completely since they were kids, only fair that she had some sort of mask to test the waters. Though she did have that complete breakdown after she thought she was getting tossed out. Leo closed his eyes.

You wanted to say you love having her at home, didn't you?