FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Zachary Parker wasn't sure if he was nervous or excited. He'd taken a Psych 101 class that had explained that, as far as the body was concerned, the physiological sensations were the same, what with adrenaline (and other stuff he couldn't remember the names of) pouring into the blood stream and making the neurons fire more, or faster, or something like that. The point was that the body does the same stuff whether it's excited, frightened, whatever. We're the ones who put tags on all that bodily response, calling it scared, excited, horny, enthusiastic, or whatever. He didn't feel that he was bright enough to write a paper about it for some class, but he got the gist of it. The main thing was, he was the one who decided what the feeling was, and he also realized that it was no easy decision.

The day had been one of the best that he could remember. Waking up with Eoin had been very warm, and they went on a good maintenance run, "licking farts," as he called those 50m sprints. (Yeah, okay, it's_fartlek,_but who could resist?) The shower in Parker's apartment was too small to let them shower together comfortably, but he took up Eoin's offer for the Saluki to scrub his back. He returned the favor, and frankly, that whole physiology thing came up again. Another part of Psych 101 was that exercise, dancing, anything physical also stirred up those endorphins (_that_was the word) and made things easy to confuse. Excitement? Arousal? Fear?

Drying off, combing out, dressing, a light runner's breakfast, and the first awkward moment, which made both him and Eoin laugh. It surprised him to realize how much he enjoyed the older canine's laughter, or even just his voice. Like the physiology thing, he tried not to overanalyze it. The good news was that Eoin didn't mind talking about it, which meant that Parker could both get help in understanding it and enjoy that voice a little more. He did have to wonder if the talk was just a delaying tactic, but if so, he sort of ruined it by actually asking the question out loud. This whole "talking" thing was new to him, but Eoin made it easy. Okay, yeah, Benedict had helped, blast his crimson hide, but Eoin... Maybe it was a little like football after all: The coach can instruct, but it's the other players that you have to interact with. And that thought had more in it than he really needed to look at, too.

It was the grad student's idea to go visit the mall. It wasn't really Parker's thing, but it would get them out of the apartment for a while and, as Eoin said, it had a few good places for lunch, and just wandering around and looking at stuff can open the door to easy conversation. And so they went, hopping a bus to take them to a huge mall that was just outside of town. Parker never really understood how they stayed in business, but the place seemed to be thriving. And it did turn out to be fun after all, walking along, looking into shop windows, talking about nearly anything that caught their eyes. Lunch was good, the talk was better, and Parker actually managed to tease (almost at a whisper) that Eoin was a great date. The Saluki was really good about it, not making a big deal out of it or cracking gay jokes. Parker knew it wasn't about "being gay" and all, but it helped to be reminded that it was okay to take it lightly. Eoin made it safe. That was the point, really, that it was safe. Parker hadn't felt safe in years.

In the afternoon, they had a coffee at the national chain there in the mall; neither wanted to risk going back to Extra Credit in case Benedict might be there. That wasn't about fear so much as it was about not wanting to answer questions or to interrupt the sense of enjoying their own company. It was Parker who, this morning, had asked for a little extra time; it was Eoin who found the way to fill that time so well.

On the bus ride back to town, short as it was, the two had sat toward the back and, with a strange little buzzing in his chest, Parker had sneaked a forepaw into Eoin's. The Saluki was surprised, but he smiled and gave the Akita's paw a squeeze. No one could see them doing it. It was like a tiny secret they shared. It felt good, and the athlete felt that other sensation again. Fear? Excitement? Happiness? He didn't want to label it, but he didn't want it to stop, either.

The grocery was near the return stop, so they bought some ingredients for dinner that Eoin said he could show Parker how to cook. Not much of a chef, the Akita had his doubts, but it was a lot easier than he thought. They'd been doing things together all day, and sharing the cooking seemed to be just another one of those things. After dinner, they relaxed together on the sofa, still talking, nothing too intense. The clock had barely gone eight when the conversation lagged a little. Another one of Those Moments, and they found themselves laughing again.

"I've put a lot of pressure on this, haven't I?" Parker admitted.

Eoin merely shook his head a little, smiling. "No pressure, Zachary. How are you feeling?"

For answer, the Akita reached out a forepaw and took Eoin's gently. "I'm feeling good, Eoin. Nervous, maybe, or excited, or whatever. But good. That's the most important thing." He swallowed, looking deeply into the Saluki's eyes. "I know what I want. I'm still scared, yeah, but I want..." Taking a deep breath, squeezing the older canine's paw, he took the last chance. "I want to be with you. I don't know what will happen, but I want to... to have sex with you."

The gentle smile on the white-furred muzzle was filled with a tenderness, an understanding, that he'd never seen in another face before. "I'd like that, Zachary. And if you'll let me, I'd like to call it love, just so you know that I don't think of myself as a substitute for your paw."

"No, of course you're not, I...!" The athlete felt himself trying to blush scarlet from tip to toes.

"Shh," Eoin murmured softly. The grad student leaned closer, his forepaws now to the Akita's shoulders, holding him gently. "I know that." The white muzzle nuzzled his own for a moment. "I think you do, too."

Something in Parker's chest shifted, like getting comfortable, and he moved his muzzle to kiss Eoin on his lips, chastely, like before. He felt himself wanting to hurry and wanting to slow down at the same time. He could only hope this was normal, because he had almost nothing to compare it to, and he had no intention of trying to make it stop.

Melting into the kiss, Parker closed his eyes and raised his forepaws to Eoin's cheeks, cupping them tenderly. He had no idea what sort of biochemical shenanigans were going on, and it was utterly impossible for him to have cared less. All that he could let himself be aware of was the deep affection of the Saluki's gently probing tongue and the increased tightness in his pants, neither of which was unwelcome.

The kiss broke slowly, like this morning, and he was also slightly out of breath from it. Opening his eyes, he saw Eoin in much the same condition. Was the Saluki trembling, or was it him, or both? This part was completely new territory -- a sense of eagerness, of connection, of really wanting someone... Eoin. Wanting Eoin.

"Zacahry?" the older canine whispered softly. "May I take you to bed?"

Parker nodded, not quite able to speak. The grad student rose fluidly, his forepaws out to take the athlete's and, with barely the slightest tug, helped him to stand. After only a small pause, the Akita turned, tail wagging as slowly as he could make it, and led the Saluki to the bedroom. There, another pause as he turned with a question in his eyes. Eoin smiled and answered by removing his shirt, not too slowly, not too fast, then waited for Parker to reciprocate. He did so but stopped before he removed his pants, as his arousal was already trying to push out of his sheath. The more experienced of the pair, the grad student seemed to take very tender charge of the situation and knelt at the athlete's hindpaws. Gentle white-furred forepaws rested on the Akita's hips, Eoin's eyes looking up, those beautiful deep brown eyes flecked with bits of gold and dark green, his turn to ask a question. Slowly, Parker nodded.

He trembled as Eoin's forepaws carefully slid the fleece pants down past his growing erection and to the floor at his hindpaws. He thought that he should be ashamed or embarrassed, but what he felt was needful and trusting. The look on the Saluki's muzzle was almost adoring, so accepting, so desirous. His nose moved closer to the pointed tip of the protruding canine cock, and he paused there for a long moment. Parker could feel the puffs of breath as Eoin sniffed softly, then the athlete gasped as the long pink tongue reached out to touch the sensitive flesh of the precum-coated cock. He thought he would fall backward, but the Saluki reached around to hold his hard glutes firmly, keeping the Akita pressing against that curious and stimulating tongue. He held his arms to his side at first, until one forepaw found its way to the top of Eoin's head and rested there gently as the muzzle before him opened, and his cock found its way inside without force or hesitation.

Parker hardly dared to move. His chin lifted until his muzzle pointed to the ceiling, a long, low groan escaping from his elongated throat. The sound seemed to have an effect upon the Saluki, who moved slowly, luxuriously, coaxing the Akita's full length from its sheath, and who apparently had no difficulty at all in taking every last protruding centimeter. Eoin's attentions were managing a delicate balance between not quite enough and way too much, and when his head backed slowly away and returned again, the athlete found himself having to resist the temptation to begin the very male response of thrusting and urging toward that ultimate moment. He knew that he had to resist, even though Eoin seemed not to mind the idea of letting things happen as they might. With reluctance, he very gently eased himself from the welcoming muzzle and managed to pant out, "Wait..."

The Saluki looked up, and Parker managed to meet his gaze, half-lidded and shivering. "Are you okay, Zachary?"

"A helluva lot more than okay," the Akita managed, a grin playing across his lips. "You're... it's amazing. You are. You're amazing. I just... I don't want to..."

He gave up trying to talk and helped the Saluki to stand, taking him into his arms and pressing his chest to Eoin's, his chin on his shoulder, still panting. His erection had in no way subsided, and he wondered, just a bit too late, if he were leaking onto the grad student's pants.And that's why we have washing machines, his otherwise enraptured brain managed to squeak out. He felt Eoin's forepaws caressing his back, just as he ran his forepaws through the luxurious, long, white-gold fur of the Saluki. He lowered his caress to bump against the waistband of the grad student's pants, and he pulled back a little to make room for them to be removed. He stepped out of his own fallen fleece pants as Eoin did the same. It was evident that the Saluki, too, was feeling the passion of the moment.

Parker, still short of breath, led Eoin to the bed and lay down with him. Cuddled up once more, he leaned in to kiss the Saluki deeply, surprising himself with the discovery of what had to be the scent and taste of himself on the damp white muzzle.My cock, he thought, that's what my cock tastes like. He would have thought that the idea would have disgusted him, but it didn't even phase him. If anything, it made him want more. He wanted more of the male whose tongue wrestled with his, teaching him, leading, following, sharing. He wanted more.

Pulling back from the kiss, he was somehow gratified to see that he wasn't the only one who was a little out of breath. He smiled, and Eoin grinned right along with him. "Am I... okay?" the Akita asked softly.

The Saluki nodded. "A helluva lot more than okay." He smiled, echoing Parker's words, and the athlete laughed softly. "I mean it, Zachary. I could hardly ask for a better lover."

Lover.

The older canine looked startled, worried. "I'm sorry, did I...?"

"No." Parker breathed in, closed his eyes, looked at his feelings. When he opened them again, his eyes saw the concern on Eoin's face, and he let himself smile. "No. It surprised me is all. I'm... still worried about baggage and labels and all, I think. But if I love you, and what we're doing is a loving thing, then... you're my lover. At least in this moment. Right?"

"I'd be honored to say so." The Saluki coughed out a small laugh. "Sounds all fancy, doesn't it? I only mean that... Zachary, I would like to tell you something very real. This is all wonderful for me, and I've... actually been hoping for it for a day or so now." A white-furred forepaw cupped the Akita's cheek tenderly. "No strings, no expectations. I just want you to know that I want this. I want you, here, now, in whatever way you wish. We wish. So tell me, if you can - what would you like to have happen?"

Words tried to form in Parker's head, but it wasn't happening for him. He wanted to be able to say the things that were in his heart, his desires, his curiosities, his wishes for Eoin, but words just weren't working. He let a forepaw move to the Saluki's shoulder, then slowly down his chest, and lower toward his belly. He felt the grad student hold his breath, his eyes a little wider. His eyes locked on Eoin's, the Akita nodded slowly. He dared himself, then reached lower until his paw found the powerful stiffness of a cock that wasn't his own. It was hard, warm, a little slick, not quite as thick as his own maybe, but about the same length. Details. His brain logged the details, but his heart only whispered_Eoin... Eoin... this is Eoin..._

The slender canine closed his eyes, his jaw dropping slightly, his lower lip quivering as Parker carefully wrapped his paw around the aroused member. His own muzzle had opened a little, his breathing quickening like his heartbeat, and he leaned down to nuzzle Eoin's panting muzzle with his own. A moment later, he gasped as the Saluki returned the intimate touch, moving slowly on him, each mirroring the touch, as if each wanted the moment to linger, to last longer... Could that be? Did Eoin want more? Could Parker give him more? Could he...

"Eoin," he whispered huskily, almost directly into the Saluki's ear. "It's so... I think I want..." Words would not obey him. He moved again to kiss the... to kiss him... to kiss his lover, his beautiful white-furred lover, to kiss Eoin again, feeling his own and his lover's paws moving so gently, slowly, firmly, his palm and pads slowly growing stickyslick with Eoin's copious pre. His tongue and Eoin's touched and danced, no longer wrestling, not some kind of dominance, more cooperation, joining, building, making...

Making love.

He pulled back from the kiss, panting, looking deeply into Eoin's eyes, trying to make his eyes say what he had no words for. He took his paw away from his lover's cock and placed it to his shoulder, pushing gently to make him lay upon his back. Poor Eoin, looking so confused for a moment, then before he could think, before he let his mind react, Parker sat up, rearranged himself, opened his muzzle wide, and took the Saluki's swollen shaft into his muzzle as deeply as he could.

From some distance, it seemed, the Akita heard a sharp cry, felt the covers of his bed shift as Eoin's forepaw gripped at the sheets. The cock in his muzzle bobbed as he tasted his lover's pre, as his nose took in the increasingly strong musk of his lover's groin, as he felt the strong, slick muscle against his tongue and the roof of his maw, as he guided carefully to avoid nicking the sensitive flesh with his teeth. This all felt instinctive, as if he had some idea of what Eoin had been doing to him, what felt so good, what he knew he would want someone else to be careful of. Females just didn't get it, what few he'd known, but he knew for himself, and it made some kind of sense. He raised his head and moved it down again, slowly, like Eoin had done, knowing how it had made him feel. He wanted Eoin to feel that good, that good and more. He wanted his lover to feel what he had felt. He wanted his lover to know...

He felt Eoin's forepaws pushing a little at his hips, to make him roll onto his side, and in moments, the Saluki had Parker's cock back in his muzzle. The Akita grunted, almost opening his maw enough to free the cock from inside it, but the powerful urging from below found itself redoubled above, and he moved carefully, once again sensing and mirroring what his lover was doing to him, like a feedback loop, like he was sucking himself, tasting different, feeling different, and definitely Eoin, Eoin, sweet Eoin...

It was no longer a question of_how_ or if, but when. He wanted to last, to enjoy his pleasure and Eoin's as well, but it was so new, so intense, not merely the physical sensations but everything else, the totality of the physical plus all of those things he'd wished for and hoped for and could never find, and now, here, soon... He felt his body starting to react, to tremble, and he felt Eoin getting harder within his own muzzle. The Saluki tried to pull himself back, and the Akita reached his powerful arms around his lover's hips and pulled him closer, not letting him escape, saying without words what he wanted, what he needed, and Eoin did the same, gripping his ass tightly, shoving his cock even further into his muzzle, hearing the grunting, the rhythmic moaning, from Eoin, from himself, close, closer, closest...

Parker shook violently in his release, Eoin holding tightly to him as he held to Eoin, and in the shuddering, he felt his lover's release pulsing into his own muzzle, his lips opening slightly wider as they met the top of the Saluki's knot, his tongue working as furiously as Eoin's not to miss the slightest bit of the musky, bittersweet seed erupting inside of him, to keep giving pleasure as he was being given it, to experience his lover fully, his lover, his sweet white-furred lover...

Eoin let Parker's spent cock slip slowly from his muzzle as he collapsed to lay on his back, and the athlete followed suit, almost reluctantly. His breathing was quick, shallow, and the sounds he heard from the Saluki were much the same. Again, he wanted to say something, to do something, but he didn't know what. His brain was awash in chemicals and ecstasy, his body was blissfully tired, and he wanted nothing more than to...

That's it, he thought with whatever was left of his brain, and he made himself move, if only because he was facing the wrong way on the bed, and the pillows were up there, and so was Eoin. He managed to struggle his way across the bed to be the right way up to his lover, and he leaned in for another kiss, not so deep, not so intense, but full of the flavors of their seed and the tender, sacred emotions that he had always hoped for and not found. He gathered the slender canine into his arms, and Eoin helped to pull the blanket over them, and then he could relax. He let the glow, the afterglow, the sweet ecstasy of being in your lover's arms after making, after creating, after sharing love so special. No female had ever wanted that with him, had ever wanted to stay, and without saying a word, he was certain that Eoin would fall asleep with him, that they would wake up together in the morning, and maybe words would return then, and he could say something meaningful about what this had meant to him.

He turned his muzzle toward Eoin's ear and whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too, Zachary," his lover mumbled.

That was right. That's what he needed to do. Now he could sleep, and tomorrow would be tomorrow, and this will be one of the most treasured memories of his life, and perhaps they would make more. That was for tomorrow. In this moment, he was ready simply to drift off to sleep, not even bothering to wonder why the word_binary_ was dancing just out of his mind's reach.