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CHAPTER I Exquise chevaux pratiquant une religion érotique

"Don't be afraid. I'm only going to show you something that will obliterate your preconceived notions of what it means to be a sexual being." - Gary Busey

The storm arrived with the swiftness of Death itself. Frigid winds carried a gathering of clouds as black as midnight, the vast sea of darkness churning with thunder. Rain and sleet fell as a barrage of icecold spears that stripped the outer bark covering Twilight Sparkle's library. Vicious squalls crashed against the structure, beating the loosened shutters like an enraged pimp beating his whores.

Inside the hollow trunk of the corpse-tree, the purpureus unicorn sat unfazed, sipping from her teacup and humming. Rainbow Dash sat across the table, watching as Twilight's lips puckered and pressed against the rim of her cup, parting to receive the stream of warm nectar. The tune of "Gangsta Gangsta" by N.W.A rose from her throat, vibrating the liquid inside the porcelain container erotically. The Pegasus trembled, terrified of the need that ached deep within her.

Twilight swallowed and returned the cup to its saucer with a dainty tink. "Mmmmmm," she moaned sensually. "That was truly a most excellent beverage."

"Sure was!" Rainbow Dash shouted, her voice cracking. She shut her eyes as tight as nipple clamps and silently prayed the dim candlelight wouldn't reveal the droplets of sweat snaking down her face.

"Thanks again for returning my melon baller, Dash." Twilight stuffed the object into a drawer packed full of loose diet pills. "I'm so sorry you got stuck here in this storm."

"I-It's no problem, really. I was just out f-flying around, you know, and I was all like, 'Hey, I wonder if Twilight is home!' So I came. O-Over. Came over here, I mean. And you were here, so, hey! Pretty funny, huh!?"

The windows rattled as fierce gales whipped the exterior of the library like a dominatrix succumbed to bloodlust. A bolt of lightning tore through the atmosphere and struck the sign of the Arby's next door. The giant neon hat exploded in a shower of sparks before it toppled over the adjacent restaurant, collapsing a portion of the roof. A group of a dozen ponies seeking shelter inside the building all wailed in terror as they were exposed to the wrath of the livid skies. A cross-eyed Pegasus attempted to run from the gaping hole too late. Her cries for help fell silent against the terrible roar of the storm as she was taken up into the winds, the gray speck of her body quickly disappearing into one of the countless vortices towering above the landscape.

"Yikes," Twilight said nonchalantly. "It's getting really bad out there. Good thing for the magical barrier protecting this place." She leaned back and raised her front legs above her head in a lazy stretch.

Rainbow Dash trembled as she watched the flickering light dance playfully across the unicorn's succulent crotchboobs. "Yeah... Yeah! Good thing!"

"At least we'll be safe until the storm is over, however long that takes. If it doesn't let up soon, you might have to spend the night."

"Sure will! I mean, maybe! Sleep here, I mean! Fuck!" Rainbow Dash cringed, her wings wrapping around her body like a pony-sized straightjacket made of feathers and nervous perspiration. She felt her chest tighten and knew she needed a moment to steady her erratic breathing. "I, um. Can I use your restroom?"

"We're basically inside a giant stump," Twilight said. "There's no plumbing. I use that bucket next to the table."

Rainbow Dash realigned her gaze to a metal bucket several feet away, a business of flies buzzing about its rim. "Oh, that's awesome. I think I'll just hold it, though."

"Suit yourself, Rainy." Twilight's horn glowed as she telekinetically lifted the teapot. "More dongfang meiren?"

"No thanks. I'd rather have that sweet ass of yours. I mean--!" Dash's hooves snapped to cover her mouth. The realization of her accidental confession halted the flow of blood inside her veins. Time seemed to slow around her as she fought to comprehend the full horror of her situation.

The years of silence and practiced restraint to mask her yearning had been a waste. A ruthless shade of carmine spread across her face as her vision glimpsed flashes of an existence lived in terrified secrecy. The lies she'd told, the relationships she'd destroyed, the lives she'd taken... In her mind's eye she saw sprawling meadows bursting ripe with vegetation that reeked of the decomposing flesh she'd buried beneath the tangles of roots, every sprouting leaf and blooming flower offering silent testimony to the sins of her weakness. All of it for nothing--all her fear and pain rendered meaningless in one awful moment of negligence.

The room spun around her like a carousel decorated with pyramids of empty liquor bottles. Everything she saw lost its color, last of all the irises of the stunned unicorn staring back at her. Their eyes met, and Rainbow Dash went numb in a rush of paralyzing cold. She collapsed.

"Oh, Rainbow Dash!" Twilight gasped. "I had no idea you felt this way. I... I'm so relieved!"

"Revleighack?!" Dash choked on the foam oozing from the corner of her mouth.

"Yes. The truth is... I've thought about you every time I hoofed off since the day we met. I've wanted to tell you how I felt for the longest time, but I was always afraid you'd reject me. Kiss my mouth, you sexy beast!"

Twilight leapt onto the table, brazenly knocking over a stack of issues of Nerd Horse Monthly. A second leap saw her tackling Rainbow Dash to the floor, straddling her supine form. Their lips locked like the halberds of two warriors engaged in sacred combat. The flash of heat between them burned away any remaining suggestion of decency, leaving only the smoldering cadaver of their lust.

Twilight broke the kiss and licked her lips. "You taste like blueberries and chewed-up Prozac," she moaned.

Rainbow Dash swooned at the compliment, her nostrils flaring excitedly. This is a dream come true! she thought. The Pegasus chuckled to herself. "Heh, come."

"I've got some toys we can play with," Twilight purred. "Wait here. I'll go get a pair of pliers and the blowtorch."

"Wait!" Rainbow Dash reached out her hoof. Her fallopian tubes quivered passionately. "I need you now, Twilight!"

"Then touch me, Dashie. Touch me like it's prom night and we both just beer-bonged half a case of Four Loko."

Rainbow Dash swallowed hard. "You g-got it, buddy..." Gingerly, she reached toward Twilight's nethermeats and wriggled her hoof about blindly.

"Oh! Oh, shit!" Twilight gasped. "That's it, right there. Right fucking there! Oh! Work that shit! Yes! Oh, you impossible slut!"

Dash moved a second hoof to join the first. She felt as if she were attempting to juggle a hover of live trout with two spatulas tied to her legs. The sensation assaulted her brain with pleasure. "A-Am I doing it right?"

"Yes, YES!" Twilight's body convulsed and spasmed violently, a ritual dance performed to extol the grandeur of her sexual desire. "That's it, clobber that clamsicle! Pound that poonami! Come on! Little Miss Muffet wants a new pair of horseshoes! Harder, bitch! Harder!"

"God, Twilight. Could you dial it back a little? I'm losing wing-boner here. That's when a Pegasus's wings become ere--"

"I know what a goddamn wing-boner is. Oh yeah, yeah! Oh, baby! Punish that perverted pony pussy! Rock that slippery sopping sex socket! AHHH! FUCK!"

Spike crawled out of the small pet carrier in which Twilight demanded he sleep, rubbing exhaustion from his eyes as he struggled to balance atop a pair of shaky legs. "Wussall the commotion?" he mumbled. The young manservant followed the sound of shouting to the balcony overlooking the main reading room. Peering down, his tired eyes shot open as he glimpsed the sight of Rainbow Dash's hooves half-buried between the slick folds of Twilight's candy vag. A glob of bile bubbled up into the base of his throat. "H-Holy sweet mother of jackpot!" he coughed.

Twilight arched her back and flicked up her tail, her entire body convulsing in rapturous bliss. "Shit! I can't-- Oh fuck me, that feels so amazing! Don't stop, Dash! Don't stop!"

Beads of sweat formed across Dash's forehead, an intense heat flooding into her ears. "Twilight, a-are you close? My arthritis is flaring up. It's starting to really hur--"

"NO!" Twilight's hooves scraped clumps of mold off the floor as she bared down, thrusting her flank against the other pony's cramping limbs. "Don't stop! Ah! Whatever you do, don't stop or I'll hate you forever! F-Fuck! Oh shit, you fucking nasty skank! Ah-ah... AIIIIEEEEEEE!"

Rainbow Dash clenched her teeth and turned her head to hide the tears in her eyes from Twilight, whose cries of ecstasy only grew louder and more frantic. Her deafening shrieks overwhelmed all other worldly senses, drowning out the sound of her lover sobbing and the screams of the ponies clawing at the library's front door as the storm winds cut them apart like blades.

Spike watched the carnal display of lezzery from across the room and pleasured himself. Nearing climax, he whispered, "None of us can escape the coming of the fire jötnar, nor the final truth their arrival will bring." He threw his head back with a loud grunt as his dragonhood erupted magnificently, heavy ropes of his seed splashing across Twilight's priceless Yakyakistan rug.