Chapter 13 "Sometimes It's Hard Being a Werewolf"

I did not know what I was expecting once my husband bestowed his powers upon me. I thought it would be a lot quicker the transition as I was already exposed to werewolf hormones thanks to my pregnancy with his four pups, but this time...this time it was different. I felt more of the primal urges and I was miserable laying there in bed unable to sate them. I really needed to get these casts off and get home to my hubby and my babies.

I had so many nightmares and erotic dreams. They went from seeing wolves feasting on my children, only for it to be revealed to be me only I was out of my body. Then it went to me being on a hunt with Randall, and we came across this beautiful waterfall. All I can remember was I lost control of my body, but instead of attacking him, I presented myself. Well, he did not waste time like usual and stuffed me and filled me.

I am pretty sure he's going to knock me up again by the end of the year, but you know something? I am at peace with that. I have already noticed that I was much more than human now. My skin and looks had been rewound five years, and my stretchmarks and pudge from my prior pregnancies had vanished even my butt firmed up. The only thing I wished was for my oversized tits to shrink down. But hey, at least they are firm and perky not sagging past my belly button like two twenty pound gobs of silly putty losing to gravity, hell I think that I look better than my prime. Well, if I keep my hair shaved, ugh...for my admirers.

Oh well, I hope I look cute as a werewolf. One thing that I have noticed is females have less fur than the males do, and ones who are nursing have even less fur especially around the nipples. I am sort of grateful for having more than two breasts with the additional mouths to feed, but I think that ten is going to be rather excessive. Then again they literally drink gallons. I feel like that they are physically attached to my body again.

After I had my X-rays scanned, I had the trouble of having to explain to the doctors, who were way beyond baffled at this point, as to why I was able to recover from a car crash in under two weeks. I told them that I guess it was my need to see my babies. Some of them did not buy it, but would they believe even if I told them the truth?

I came back home to even bigger babies than when I last saw them. I am so glad that I have the support from his family. I do not think that mine would be able to give me such support. Not that they would not try, but there was so few of them and most lived back in the Scotland. I tried to get myself a routine down, but I felt so lost, disoriented, and overwhelmed. I did not want to have the girls see me as weak, but they knew. They can be quite nosy often times. I get the feeling that they think I'm not suited to raising his children! They do not act any different from when Jack and Emily.

"Hey! Are you okay?" Selene asked me.

I quickly snapped out of my thought and looked down at the head poking over the bar counter. I had a knife in my hand with a steak in the other. I guess I was making dinner; I honestly do not remember what I was doing. "Uh...yea...I think so" I said before I sat the knife down gently.

"Oh, okay" She said before she leaned and climbed halfway then hung off the edge swinging her legs back and forth. "Do you know what postpartum depression means?" She asked.

"So that's what this is all about!" I raised my voice.

"What's what about?" She asked as she cocked her head to the side.

"Nothing!" I grumbled before I stomped off out of the kitchen, and I went straight to Lilian who was bottle feeding Logan in her arms, at least I think it was him. "Do you think there's something wrong with me!?" I confronted her.

She offered me Logan and shook her head at me. "I don't know how you are able to not feel overwhelmed. There's nothing wrong with you...I don't think that I could handle four pups at once" she said before she stood up. I took my baby without hesitation and looked down at him. "Let me help you make dinner" she said as she walked towards the kitchen.

"Why are you dancing around the question!? You all think that I'm depressed and unfit to be a mother don't you!?" I growled.

Lilian stopped and sighed. "No...I was simply talking to Randall's mother about the benefits of his family members coming in to help child rear. I felt like Bernie's family coming in helped lift the burden off me in so many ways especially in finding Child care. That's when she said that postpartum depression was rare and infant mortality rates were very low with werewolves. We never said there was anything wrong with you" She explained herself. She went inside of the kitchen and began to prepare dinner.

"I just don't know how I'm going to raise and support a werewolf child on my own. I grew up as a human. I know how to raise a human child. Toby doesn't behave like a typical child...and I am trying to keep him away from my mother. She has already told him that there's something wrong with him. I worry about that getting to him and him turning out hating humans. He's already had his father killed and his home burned down to the ground because of them" She continued on.

I frowned and sat down cradling my baby. "I'm worried about Jack doing the killing and the burning" I spoke out.

"Jack is not going to be one of them. He's just threatened that he can't compete with Randall for your affection. I noticed the opposite with Emily. She always there on the chair playing with her werewolf daddy's paws, and she always has something nice to say about Randall after Jack attacks him"

"I think you might be right...Jack hasn't always been very cordial whenever I bring another man into the house" I mumbled before I looked towards Selene who watched me from the dining room table. She was curious, but maybe this was a good opportunity for her to learn how to care for a baby after all this is my third batch. "Do you want to hold him?"

Selene looked nervous, but I waved her over. "He's very warm and soft" I told her.

She came over and sat next to me, and I slowly eased him onto her lap while holding the bottle. He started to cry when I let her hold onto the bottle, but I adjusted him a little, and he settled down just as quick. "Wow, you're really good at this!" I told her.

Her eyes lit up, and she looked at me excited. "Really!?"

I giggled to myself and nodded while patting her on the head. "Yup, I think you'll make a very good mum someday" I said before I stood up. "Just remember that having a baby is really hard work" I told her before I heard wailing from the other side of the house. Jack came out with black bags under his eyes rubbing them.

"Mom...they're crying again. When are they going to stop?"

"They are probably hungry...where is everybody else?" I asked.

"They went to the store to get more diapers...don't you remember asking them?" Lilian mentioned as she walked out of the kitchen.

I froze with fear thinking I might be going crazy. "N-n-no? Do we need diapers?" I asked before I walked down the hall to check the closet, nothing. I turned to look at Lilian who was very concerned for me at this point, which last time she had that look, she called Randall. "Please don't call him...he's working"

Lilian gave me a stern look for a couple moments before she sighed heavily. "You know, he worries about you, even if I don't call him....he will call instead" she reminded me.

Jack looked between anxiously, and Emily came out of the nursery with Zoe and Toby. The pups had stopped crying, and I looked around towards them amazed. "What did you do to stop them from crying?" I asked them.

"Well they didn't stink...and they just got fed, so we threw Randal's dirty clothes in with them" Zoe explained.

I stared at them in disbelief, but Lilian giggled to herself patting Zoe on the head. "Good thinking Zoe!" she said before she looked towards me with an awkward smile. "Um, yea...I'm still learning about the werewolf culture myself, but I guess having the scent of both parents nearby makes the pups feel safe. They will toss their dirty or torn up clothes into the cribs so if the pups wake up from a night mare or a night terror they won't cry as much. It's only meant to delay cuddle time. It doesn't replace it" she informed me.

I nodded slowly seeing that she was another fish out of water like I was. "Oh...I'll have to remember that next time" I mumbled.

Emily smiled up at me with that bright sunny expression of hers. "They're really different when daddy is around aren't they?"

I had to think about it for a moment before Lilian giggled. "They don't see daddy that much. I bet they get as excited as you do when he comes home...am I right?"

"Hehe, not at much as mummy does when he gets home" she said blissfully unaware with how much of an understatement that was.

I started to think about how true that statement was about Randall. He was hardly home at all whether he was at work or hunting for our big happy family. I hoped that everyone saw the hard work I put in caring for all of these pups. "Well, your daddy gives me back rubs and other things a good husband does" I told her.

Jack gave a disgusted look before he turned around. "Gross" he muttered.

I was embarrassed that he knew what I was talking about, but I tried to change the subject. "Oh, come to think of it. Isn't the vernal equinox coming?"

"Oh, yea it is...I almost forgot about that" Lilian responded.

"What's so special about that?" Jack muttered.

"It's the start of spring...but most importantly that around the time wolves shed their winter coats. They have this ritual where they take all the fur and set it out for the birds to take for nesting material" I informed him, but more for Selene's information.

"Tch, don't werewolves lose their fur when they turn back into human form?" he asked skeptically.

I gave it some thought before Lilian chimed in. "We don't really lose it...it more gets reabsorbed into our bodies. I'm not an expert on this, but it's how it was explained to me. Whenever Steele spoke about extra special dimensions and rotations, that's when he lost me"

"Huh, Steele sounds like a real smart wolf" I pondered.

"Of course he is...he's an alpha" Toby spoke out with pride.

"Tch, well he was the alpha. He's not that smart if he got himself killed" Jack mentioned.

Toby looked down with guilt, and Zoe snarled and clenched her fist growling out. Lilian was not quick enough to grab her before she threw a punch into Jack's stomach knocking the wind out of him. "Zoe!" Lilian screamed. Zoe tackled him to the ground and Lilian grabbed her fist before he started to pound him.

I froze up. I did not know what to do, but I went to his defense and pulled him away before Toby had made the situation worse. Luckily all Lilian had to do was give him a look, and he stayed back. "Zoe, he doesn't know who Steele was or why he should care" I told her.

Zoe stared Jack down with hatred. "He'll never care! He's one of them!" she shouted.

Jack stared her down, and I pulled his arm back. She was a hell of a lot stronger than Jack despite being half his age. I do not think Jack knew how genetics worked, nor did he see how abnormally tall Toby and Zoe were for their age group. "Jack, knock it off. She's only in Kindergarten...she doesn't know better"

"Why aren't you punishing her!?" He shouted.

"Because you crossed the line talking about Steele like that!" Lilian raised her voice at him. Her eyes turned yellow and her teeth lengthened into fangs reminding me of what fate will become of me. "Toby just lost his father! And you knew that! What has he ever done to you to made you act this way!? All we have done is treat you like our own and you attack my son. Don't you think he has seen enough evil from humans? He's done nothing to you to deserve that! Nothing! And you know what!? You better treat your brothers and sister better than my son because I can see that they'll be just as big as Randall"

Lilian had Jack cowering behind my leg. I could see why Toby was well trained I wondered if maybe I was to blame for how Jack turned out, but then again...Emily loves Randall. I have not treated her any different have I?

Yvonne and Randall's mother burst in through the door with tons of bags from the store. It was way more than just the diapers that I had asked for. "We're back!" she shouted before she noticed Lilian grabbing onto Zoe's still balled up fists and Jack hiding. "What's going on!?" she yelled.

Zoe glanced back at her and unclenched her fist. Lilian relaxed her grip before more wolves came in. Zoe looked towards her father walking up to the door before she spoke up my guess was she was trying to gain a reaction out of him. Emily did the same thing with Randall sometimes. "Jack says Steele wasn't smart!" she called out to him.

"He didn't say it like that" I spoke up. I was a little afraid with how Bernie would react about Steele being brought up. "He doesn't know anything about Steele" I begged him.

Bernie shot Jack a look and growled, but Yvonne looked up towards her husband rubbed her arm nervously. "I think they are old enough to know about Steele"

Bernie shook his head. "Not everything" he said before he sat down on the couch. He looked around the room then at the patch of carpet replaced from the bloodbath months prior. He took in a deep breath and let out a deep sigh. "Before I tell you about Steele...you must first know about Ian" Selene, Zoe, Toby, and Emily all sat on the floor around him curious as to what sort of tale he had to tell.

"Long, long ago, there was a pup named Ian. He was born to an Irish werewolf working in the fur trade. His father was a very successful hunter and very popular. With that fame and pride, Ian thought he had the right to the same hunting grounds as his father and his father's father. Well, that was when the humans started coming west. They did not see to be a problem at first, but as more came over, his family would encounter more on their lands, hunting their food, cutting down trees, tearing up the earth, and ruining the habitat.

This was happening to all the wolves and native people, and they became angry. They wanted them off their lands, so they started to hunt the livestock on their lands. They intimidated the settlers and missionaries and it seemed to work...for a little while. Word got out about the wolf problem, and werewolf hunters started popping up. One came and slaughtered Ian's family...Ian barely survived, and he was taken in by the great elder Jean McLoughlin.

He was taught everything he knew about how to be an alpha and how humans worked. Jean himself had lost his son to a violent murder, and the very company he worked for tried to cover it up. He left the company, and the company left Oregon Country. This did not sit well with the wolves as they saw the British as going back on their word to keep the Humans out, and they essentially lost their jobs. They lost everything.

After Jean lost making Oregon an independent nation, Ian was not merely going to scare off the humans anymore. He joined the attack on the Oregon Trail...fueled by the loss of his parents, the loss of his lands, and the loss of his identity. He killed hundreds of innocent lives on Barlow Road. Though, He had gained the respect from the other wolves and became the new alpha, he had attracted the attention of the military and more hunters. They had to literally go underground.

They built tunnels under cities and set trap doors in bars and hotels to kidnap humans. They kept the humans captive in the dark, gaged them, took off their shoes, and scattered glass and nails all over the floors. They did horrible things to them, and most ended up being chopped up and eaten" he explained.

My hairs stood up on end, and Yvonne seemed to be having a traumatic flashback. Lilian was trying to console her, but it was not enough to hide the tears. Bernie continued on looking towards Yvonne, and he grew worried. "Are you alright? Do you want me to skip over this part?" Yvonne waved her hand encouraging him to continue.

Zoe looked back and saw her mother crying. "What's wrong mommy?"

"Your mom was kidnapped...can't you tell?" Jack blurted out.

"Oh my gosh!" Selene muttered.

"I had gotten a job in Portland after meeting your mother. She had not figured out that I was a werewolf yet by that time, but she knew I was different. I met Ian at a bar, and he was with the largest werewolf I had ever seen outside of my family. Ian was quite big, but not taller than me like this guy from Seattle. Apparently, this guy was German, and he had nasty inclination to fight anything that moved. We had to stop him from killing this dumb drunkard after they called him a Nazi. He was so freaking strong that he actually separated my shoulder and broke Ian's ribs" he said before he fished out his phone from his pocket. He pulled up a picture of him, Randall in his teens, and Steele. They were flexing their muscles and acting like they were roaring. Bernie had his muscle gut, Steele was a little too muscle bound for my tastes, and Randall looked so scrawny and adorable.

"Hey, that's my dad!" Toby said pointing to the largest werewolf in the picture.

"Holy Fuck!" Jack shouted.

"Jack!" I shouted at him.

"Wow, he's got muscles bigger than your mom's boobs" Selene pointed out.

"Haha! I think she's right!" Zoe added.

Bernie smirked before he showed them a video of Steele pulling twenty loaded lumber cars down the railroad track on a lumberyard at night with a bunch of car headlights focused on him. All the men were yelling and howling at him. Then they erupted into a ruckus when he got the last one across the switch.

"Oh wow! Is that a sport you all do?" I teased.

"It's called sled dogging..." Randall's mother said.

"Looks illegal" I added.

"Extremely" She muttered in annoyance as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Bernie stuffed his phone back into his pockets and beamed with pride. "Ian was so impressed with our strength that he offered us up a position in his ranks. After that I found out that this guy was forced to watch his pups get drowned by hunters. He was working for the United Kingdom in the Supernatural Affairs Ministry. He was one of the agents key to sabotaging a Nazi werewolf supersoldier experiment, and he was assigned to work with Jean with being a liaison. Since most werewolves are British citizens, they adhere to the British Werewolf regulations. I guess the US wants to press their own regulations on werewolves as they have been trying to force us to register with them. This is the same department ran by werewolf hunters, so you can see why we have always stayed with SAM.

He made enemies with the Supernatural Administration, and they sent hunters for him. I was fed up with SAD myself, and I was going to join Ian. That was before Yvonne was kidnapped. Steele could hear the voices under the floors, and Ian lied to me. We tore up that entire bar, and we found her. She found out what I was as we fought off Ian's goons. I was glad Steele had my back. I knew right then and there who my true friends were. After SAM found out about the atrocities committed, they helped us overthrow Ian. With Steele's background in warfare and leadership, he naturally ended up as the Alpha.

Steele exposed how cowardly and ineffective Ian was. He has done a lot to adjust us to living amongst humans, and you can see probably not a good idea to talk about Steele like that. If it weren't for him, I would not have my family. All that is left of him is Toby" Bernie finished.

Randall came home from work, and as he came in through the doors, he looked at me with those eyes like he had been thinking about me. I could feel the wolf within me scratching at the door to be let out. My heart fluttered, and I got uncomfortable not being at his side. Before I could jump him, he came over with a growl and planted some smooches on my lips. That did it! I needed him, and I caressed the back of his head imagining him in his most fearsome form. I felt tingling sensations all over my body and winded.

"Um, Randall...you might want to take your wife to your room before she wolf's out" Bernie suggested.

I pulled away and saw the horrified expression on Jack's face. My hand had grown claws and I was growing wolf fur. I was really worried what he thought of me, but Randall treated this like no big deal. "I was planning to anyway" he muttered in a seductive voice. My body was betraying me and I collapsed onto the bedroom floor feeling my transformation hit me like a ton of bricks.

Randall turned on some fans and some music before he undressed. Staring at his dangling foot long organ worsened the cravings I have felt. I felt like I was on fire and I stripped myself naked in his room. I reached down to relieve my needs, but it was no good. I felt sore with my tail growing and my feet stretching and widening. I did not grow that much fur on my chest and belly.

When it was all over, I stood up and looked in the mirror with my disfigured half lupine half human face and I ran my padded fingertips over my large pointed ears then over my face, blackened nose, and lifted my blackened lips to reveal my carnivorous sharp teeth. This did not feel real, and I was about to cry thinking about the harm I could do to my children before Randall grabbed me from behind already in his big beasty form and bit my neck. It was hard and he was being much more forceful than ever before. . He knew biting me drove me crazy. I guess now having these really sharp teeth gave me a new appreciation and admiration with how much control he had over himself. "Ow! Easy! I know you're excited" I shouted nervously.

I covered my mouth. This was too weird, my voice sounded like a girl monster. He kept at biting me and feeling my tits up. "Hey! why am I not losing control?" I asked.

He laughed at me. "You kind of did lose control. Now spread your legs and help me bury my bone!" He said as he pressed his hot slab of throbbing meat into my back.

All I remembered was leaning forward with my arms against the bed and legs spread before my mind went numb when he unapologetically and unceremoniously rammed me from behind. This felt very different. This felt like the best sex I had ever had, but he was not doing anything different. It had to be because I was in this form.

When I came to my senses, I was stuck in a knot with him. He was collapsed of top of me panting with satisfaction and triumph. I certainly felt better now, filled and stretched out. I looked at my paw like hands, and I looked over at the werewolf on top of me trying to catch his breath.

"Did I tire you out big bad?" I teased him.

He chuckled as he rubbed my shoulders. "Is your head feeling a lot clearer now?" he asked.

I growled to myself lowly muttering. "That bitch! I told her not to call you!" I looked away from him in disappointment. "Do you think I am going crazy? Am I a good mother?" I asked him.

He hooked his hands under my armpits and lifted me up so he could embrace me and massage one of my tits. "You've just turned into a werewolf...If you need time with me, it doesn't make you a bad mother to sate your needs. Why would any of them think you are a bad mother?"

"None of them...I just...I don't know. I don't feel like I'm bonding with them enough"

"Babe, they sleep in our bed every night...I'm their furry heater and you're their comfort food" He joked as he traced down my other row of tits. "You might want to try putting these to good use if you want to feed them all at once" he suggested.

"Isn't that weird?" I asked.

"Breastfeeding?" He asked with his head cocked.

His confusion and wording made me feel stupid. There were werewolf pups, of course this had to be normal to breastfeed them in werewolf form. I did not know how this was going to work though. I was a little nervous about it all. After we detached he went into the nursery plucking out our pups whose tummies were already growling. I got comfortable as he laid them on the bed close. I felt my wolf guiding my hand to help them find an available nipple. All four were feasting away. I looked towards Randall who looked to be the proudest father on earth right now. "You look like a good mother to me, babe"

I looked down at the precious lives he blessed me with. "Thank you...for everything. You've given us so much. Hopefully Jack will see the opportunities you'll give him" I told him before he laughed crossing his arms over his chest.

"I think he's warming up to Selene...I don't think he realizes it yet"

"Should I give him the talk then?" I teased.