FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

One more chapter writen and edited, hope everyone enjoys it. It took a little while to complete and edit as both myself and Evernight1990 were rather busy. Thank you all for your time and patience, I hope every feels the time they waited was well worth it.

I'd like to that all those who take the time to read it, a special thanks to all those who comment and a very special thanks to my editor Evernight1990, and my editor in chief/ best friend and mate(who does not happen to havea SoFurry account). As always all comments, constructive critisism and suggestions are welcome and greatly appreciated. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

*Note: All characters within this story are entirely of my own creation and design, or that of friends who have requested that I include themin my story. None of the characters in this or any of my other stories may be used without my expressed concent and permission

---

Chapter 9 - Real Men Do Cry

"Better! Now let's do it again!" yelled Jake into the com, his voice blasting through the speakers in Matt's helmet.

Matt sighed as he trudged back to the start of the massive indoor obstacle course. He was exhausted; at five o'clock in the morning, Jake had roused him. After a quick breakfast, Jake had announced they would begin training once more. This time, however, Jake would take personal control of Matt's training and help him through the courses. Initially, the idea had trilled him, as any time spent with Jake was time he got to be with the love of his life.

As the day wore on however, he became less enthusiastic. Instead of heading to the range, they began back at the basics. Jake confessed it had been stupid of him to have placed Matt on the range without first preparing him.

Today they were on the obstacle course.

Roughly the size of a football field, it was a maze of mud filled ditches topped with razor wire. If that wasn't bad enough, automated turrets had been programmed to fire bursts of armour piercing shells over the trenches, motivating whoever was unlucky enough to have crawled through them to keep their heads down. Once through the trenches, they had to scale twenty foot walls using only a heavily frayed rope. Down the other side was a mad dash through a mine field filled with 'non-lethal' flash mines.

Matt rolled his eyes at the thought, having had the misfortune of stepping on one the first time through the mines. He knew firsthand not only how bright they were, but that the little buggers contained enough force to send him flying.

Matt panted heavily as Jake stood tall and relaxed, as though they had not just finished a two kilometre long run followed by two trips through the obstacle course. As Matt thought to himself, he was sure the worst part had to be doing the entire course in his armoured suit. At first, he thought it would be a breeze to get through.

He was wrong.

Jake told him that they would be running the course with the suits powered down to their most basic systems. His reasoning: if the suit failed in the field, they would have to be able to continue fighting without the suit's systems to aid them.

"Jake, I can't. I'm just too tired. We have been here since seven," Matt said panting, looking at the clock on the inside of his armoured visor; he sighed. "It's now four o'clock. Haven't we trained enough for today?"

Jake though a moment, gazing at his friend with concern; maybe they should stop for the day, he thought. After all, Matt had managed to outpace and outperform even his time when he had begun his own training so many years ago. Little did Jake know that this had as much to do with endurance and sheer force of will, as a desperate wish to impress on Matt's part.

Smiling, he slapped Matt on the back, the force of the blow nearly sent the arctic fox sprawling. "Yeah I think that should be good for today. You did really well, I'm proud of you Matt."

Matt blushed at the compliment, it felt as if he was floating on a cloud. Slowly the pair made their way to the prep room to remove their suits and shower before heading up to the main part of the mansion. Stepping out of the elevator, Matt turned to Jake and Ethan. "I'll see you guys at dinner ok, I'm going to take a nice hot bath and relax."

"Ok I'll see you, then," said Jake, smiling for once.

Ethan smiled and nodded, paying more attention to Jake than the arctic fox. Matt headed off down the corridor, hearing Jake's voice rising. Matt glanced back in time to see Jake grab the collar of Ethan's black uniform; the fur on the back of Jake's neck was bristling and his tail was puffed out in anger. Matt thought about turning back, but when he saw Jake's lips curl back, revealing his teeth, he knew anything he did might just anger the wolf further.

He shook his head. As his tail flicked nervously, Matt wondered what Ethan could have said to make Jake so angry. Sighing, he put the thought from his head. All he wanted to do right now was take a nice hot bath and relax. After all those hours of training, everything from the tip of his snow white tail to the tip of his ears hurt.

He walked for over a minute down the long portrait lined hall, passing thick, beautifully embroidered curtains that hung next to each of the massive glass windows that gave an awe inspiring view of the grounds. Stopping at one of the windows Matt gazed out admiring the view and breathing deep soothing lung full's of fresh, crisp air.

Matt watched as the gardeners tended to the hundreds of flower beds that dotted the massive green lawn. Each garden surrounded a statue of one of Jake's long dead ancestors, and had been painstakingly wrought in such detail as to make them appear ready to spring to life and take a stroll through the garden.

Suddenly there was a loud crash of breaking glass and the thud of a body hitting the ground. Rushing down the hall he stopped before the door to Shawn's room. Banging on the door he called out for Shawn. "Shawn are you ok? What happened? I heard a loud crash."

Not receiving any response, Matt feared the worst. Bursting through the door, he looked around for Shawn. Scanning the large room, Matt saw that the room must have only just been opened up. Along one side of the room, a four poster king sized bed sat unmade. Most of the furniture in the room was still covered in protective blankets. The curtains had been drawn across the windows and the only light came from a small cream coloured lamp sitting on the small ash night stand.

There in the middle of the room lay the human; he was spread eagle, one leg still resting on the coffee table that Matt guessed correctly he must have tripped on. The table was littered with empty beer bottles and a bottle of wine. More than one of the bottles had been broken when Shawn had tripped over the table; another bottle was smashed next to him, its contents soaking into the hardwood floor. Even from his position in the doorway, the smell of stale alcohol was overpowering.

Stepping carefully towards the human, he saw that Shawn was sobbing quietly. His face was red and streaked with tears. Matt watched as Shawn brought his knees up to his chest as he rolled onto his side with a tinkle of glass on glass. In his hand, Shawn held an old tattered photo; the photo of his brother, Matt realized. Matt felt his heart break as fresh tears streamed from Shawn's eyes. His ears swivelled as he heard Shawn whispering something to the picture. Listening carefully, he realized Shawn was saying "I'm sorry" over and over again.

Gently, Matt placed his paw on Shawn's arm, tenderly rubbing it as the human sobbed. Suddenly Shawn jerked away from the touch, his eyes flying up from the photo. He screamed as he saw the arctic fox kneeling next to him, not recognizing his newly made friend in his befuddled state. Scrambling away from the fox, Shawn cried out as he cut himself on the glass that littered the floor.

"Shawn it's me," Matt cried out, trying to break through Shawn's stupor. Matt sighed with relief as a flicker of recognition crossed Shawn's eyes.

Collapsing back once more, Shawn continued to sob and cry as he stared at the photo through puffy red eyes. Gingerly, Matt crawled towards the human and placed his paw on Shawn's shoulder once more.

"I never got to say I was sorry," Shawn sobbed. "And now...now he's gone...gone!"

Shawn yelled in anger and punched the floor, yelling again as his hand was further cut by the shards of glass.

"Shawn stop before you hurt yourself!" cried Matt, grabbing hold of Shawn as he drew back his fist to slam it against the floor once more.

"GO AWAY I DON'T WANT YOU HERE," Shawn yelled angrily pushing Matt away from him. Getting up, he tried to walk towards the bed. Half way there, he tripped and fell, smashing his head into the varnished oak front of the bed and narrowly missing one of the carved wolf heads that protruded from it.

Shawn cried out and grasped his now pounding head. The pain made his eyes water even more and his vision blurred. Taking a ragged breath he pulled himself up and onto his bed. Dragging himself forward he collapsed onto his pillow, his sobbing muffled by it.

Carefully Matt made his way towards Shawn's bed, sitting down at its edge he reached out with a paw and gently stroked the human's back.

"Shawn what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Matt asked softly, edging closer to the sobbing human.

"MY BROTHER IS DEAD THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG, HE'S DEAD AND NEVER COMING BACK!" Shawn yelled, his voice growing soft. "And I didn't get to say I was sorry. You don't have any idea what it's like to lose someone so close to you. No, it isn't like losing a best friend; I should know, I've lost more friends then you probably have."

Matt thought about what it would be like if Jake died; he shuddered at the thought. He didn't know what he would do if that happened. Jake meant everything to him.

"I do know what it's like..." Matt said quietly, his ears drooping as the memories came flooding back.

"You mean Alex? Jake's brother."

"I...how...how did you guess?"

"I just figured...you and Jake are close, why not you and Alex?" Shawn said, his voice muffled by his pillow.

"He was my first boyfriend...He was the one who helped me realize and accept that I'm gay..." Matt shuddered, wiping a tear from his muzzle he continued. "I loved him so much...he meant the world to me. When I pulled up to where he had been hit...and saw him like that...it took everything I had not to break down and collapse right there. I was just so numb after...for a month all I could do...all I wanted to do was lay in my room alone and cry."

"I only got out of that funk because I finally let my friends in...I let them help me." Wiping his eyes with a paw Matt said, "Just like you need to let me help you. You can't keep getting drunk and passing out; you're going to hurt yourself."

"Yeah well it's still not the same; a boyfriend isn't a twin. They don't know you like a twin does. Now get out of here, I don't want you seeing me like this. I don't need your help. Leave me alone. What does it matter if I hurt myself? There isn't anyone left that cares about me...that I care about."

"Seeing you like what? Drunk? I've already seen you drunk before. Jake told you there wasn't to be any drinking here. Where did you find the alcohol?" Matt said. "And what do you mean no one cares about you? I care about you, Jake cares about you and Ethan cares about you!"

"I don't care if you see me when I'm drunk. I just don't want you to see me cry. Real men don't cry; real men just suck it up and keep fighting. It's what Andrew would have done," Shawn muttered, punching his pillow. "What does it matter if a bunch of talking animals care about me? I have no idea what you guys are or where the hell I am. No one has told me anything!" Shawn shouted angrily.

"What do you mean real men don't cry? Sure they do, if anything you're stronger for being able to cry in front of someone else," Matt said softly, trying to ease Shawn's anger with himself. "Shawn, to be honest, I don't really understand it either. All I know is it has to do with some kind of weird Gate-Way that connects dimensions..."

"Ha, you keep telling yourself that, but where I come from...or when... or whatever, real men don't cry. They get drunk and angry, that's it...What's a dimension?"

Matt shook his head sadly; he didn't know how he could convince Shawn it was going to be alright, and that he wasn't weak for showing emotion. "What did you mean by it's still not the same though? I...don't know, you'll have to ask Ethan."

"You didn't fight with your boyfriend before he died..."

"Yes I did. The last week, all we did was fight over me and coming out of the closet. He thought it was time and didn't understand why I didn't want to. He was tired of hiding us from Jake," Matt said sadly, his ears drooping.

"No, I mean really fight, with kicks and punches. We had a really bad argument a few days before...before he died...before those bastards killed him."

"What did you fight about?" Matt asked quietly.

"We...we were drunk...playing a game of cards. He had borrowed a pair of mirrored sunglasses off me. I was using them to see his cards and win, when...when he realized it he was mad...at me and himself."

Shawn shook his head as the memories came flooding back. "I...I called him a drunk...that...set him off."

Gingerly, Matt reached out again and carefully laid his paw on the human's back, slowly rubbing him gently just like his mother did for him when he was upset.

"He...he brought up our father and all the times he protected me from the bastard."

"Your father couldn't have been that bad. Sure, he must have been tough on you...what father isn't?"

"Ha! Tough? He wasn't tough, he was insane! He would come home drunk every night and beat whichever one of us he could catch...calling us 'bloody Krauts', saying he was going to kill every last one of us," Shawn began sobbing again as the memories began to overwhelm him. "One of us would have to knock him out right as he stepped in the door; otherwise we'd end up getting bloodied.

"I don't remember how many times I woke up in Andrew's arms, seeing him crying, so scared that this time our father had rattled my brain just a little too hard. His eye would be swollen or his nose broken...I was lucky if I got away with a concussion and a few missing teeth."

Shawn began to sob uncontrollably as he remembered the night he had dreamt about as often as he dreamt about Andrew's death. If it wasn't one nightmare it was another. He couldn't tell which was worse: watching his brother die and hear him scream as his body was incinerated, or having his father try to kill him. The feel of that bastard's hands around his throat was as fresh as the day he had tried to kill Shawn.

"He tried to kill you?" Matt asked in shock. "You...one of his sons...his own fur and blood...."

"Look at this picture," Shawn said thrusting the worn picture of him and his brother into Matt's paw. "Look closely at my brother's face"

"Um which..." Matt started, staring at the picture unable to tell them apart

Rolling his eyes Shawn stabbed his finger at the left side of the picture without looking up. Looking closely Matt could see a ragged scar running across Andrew's face.

"He's got a scar...your father...your father didn't do that did he?"

"The day we left...he had come home drunk...started trying to attack us. Thought we were Germans out to get him. He went after me with a knife, but Andrew got in the way and stopped him...got his face sliced open for his troubles. I...was about to black out...our father had me by the throat," Shawn shuddered. "I can still smell his breath and feels his hands around my throat."

"That's horrible, Shawn! How-why didn't you tell me sooner?" Matt asked, shocked at what Shawn had gone through.

"Because real men don't talk about how they're feeling; real men don't have emotions. The whole reason Andrew and I joined up was to prove we were better than our father. Prove we could handle what he couldn't. Our father was a pathetic drunk...near the end...we started becoming just what we had tried to avoid."

"We started drinking between sorties, fighting more and more. I...I don't know why the hell I'm telling you this...I thought I told you to get out! I don't want you to see me like this," Shawn said, ashamed with himself.

Gently, Matt lay down next to Shawn, carefully placing an arm around the human who lay shuddering and sobbing with his head in his pillow. Creeping closer, Matt cautiously reached out and licked at the tears streaming down Shawn's face. The human jerked back and looked at Matt with surprise. He only ever had his old dog Oscar do that, and it had always made him feel better; to his amazement, Matt's lick had had the same effect.

Matt's ears lowered and he looked fearful. He worried that he had gotten too close and overstepped Shawn's comfort zone. He knew the human still had trouble handling the idea of what he called "talking animals". Slowly, he went to get up. Matt sighed; he shouldn't leave Shawn in such a state, but the human obviously didn't want to be helped.

Suddenly, Shawn grabbed him. The human had thrown his arms around the fox's chest and was sobbing into his fur. Matt froze for a moment, surprised by this sudden move. Slowly he wrapped his own arms around the sobbing human, holding him tightly to his chest.

Lowering his head down, Matt resumed lapping away Shawn's tears as they fell. Murring softly, he ran his paw up and down the human's back, trying to comfort and relax him. Shawn sobbed as all of the year's worth of pain and suffering spewed forth. Just as an infected wound must be purged of decay so too did Shawn's mind. All of the suffering he had been through, all the death and horror he had seen and bottled up was released.

Ever since he was a child he had been taught never to let his emotions get the better of him, taught that real men never to showed them. So many years he had stayed quiet. He never voiced the hurt he felt, believing it better to ignore the pain and suppress it than it was to express it. Sometimes he couldn't handle it and would cuddle up with Oscar and cry quietly as the faithful dog licked away his master's tears.

Shawn did not know what it was, but something about having soft fur surrounding him felt very comforting, very soothing. Slowly he felt himself calming down. His tears slowed to a trickle before stopping completely. Still shuddering, he held himself tightly against Matt who held him in turn.

Just as his mother would do for him to comfort him, Matt began to murr. The soft tone and vibrations had a strange soothing effect on the human. With a sigh of relief Matt smiled slightly as he felt Shawn stop shaking.

With a sigh, Shawn looked up at Matt; his face was streaked with tears, and his eyes were red and puffy. "Thank you, I...no one has ever done that for me before...never told me it was going to be alright...never held me...Thank you," Shawn said, smiling weakly.

Gingerly the human reached up and caressed Matt's muzzle; he carefully pulled Matt's head towards his own. Matt's eyes flew open as he felt Shawn's lips against his own; he had not expected the human to react this way. Feeling Matt tense up, Shawn quickly let go of the fox.

"Sorry," Shawn said quickly, shaking his head he realized he must have taken it too far, or read signals that had never been there to read.

"No...no Shawn wait," Matt stammered as the human tried to push away from him. "It's ok, you just surprised me."

"Well we can stop if you want, I didn't mean to force myself on you," Shawn muttered, angry with himself for not controlling his desires better. Ever since he had first gotten over the shock of a talking fox, Shawn had felt himself drawn to Matt in a way he had not felt in a long time. He didn't even know it was possible to fall for another species.

"Do you want to continue?" the Human asked.

"Just let me think for a minute," Matt said quickly, his mind buzzing.

Should I do this? He thought to himself. What about Jake? He loved the wolf; he had ever since he had accepted he was gay...before that even. Should he just give up on all of that now? After so long it felt like he was so close - but Jake is straight, Matt reminded himself. If he was anything other than straight, he would have told me, wouldn't he? Yes of course he would; I'm his best friend.

What about this place? The mansion...the Gate-Way...He lied to you about all of that didn't he, said a little voice in his head. Maybe if you wait long enough he will come out. Admit it you think he's bi.

Yes but maybe that's just wishful thinking, I want him to be gay or at least bi so badly so we can be together.

You had sex TWICE and you don't think he's bi?! Said the voice

He was just experimenting; he's going to realize it's not for him and regret the whole thing. He would have told me if he was bi.

Ha, he lied to you about owning this place didn't he? How do you know he isn't lying about being straight?

Because...because that was different, he was worried about my safety, he came clean in the end. We can still be friends. That's all I really want.

You're fooling yourself. He's just going to use you to fulfill his sick fantasies while he ignored the gay thoughts he obviously has swirling around in his head. And you don't want to be his friend! You want to be his mate!

But I can't be his mate, Matt thought to himself sadly. And here Shawn is all set to go, I really like him too. Ever since I first saw him, he was so cute, so different. And from the way he's been acting he seems to feel the same.

Should I give up on Jake and go for something I know will happen? Matt lowered his head, mulling everything over. He couldn't stand it. Finally he raised his head and looked Shawn in the eye. With a smile he said, "Yes...yes let's continue"

Matt blushed as Shawn grinned and kissed the tip of his sensitive nose. Matt shuddered as the human's paws...hands, Matt corrected himself, made their way slowly under his shirt and up his stomach. Slowly Shawn gently massaged and caressed Matt's chest as he kissed the fox softly.

Gently, Matt felt the human slowly tugging off his shirt, exposing his furry chest. He murred as Shawn kissed down his neck and chest. Slowly Shawn's tongue swirled around one nipple while his hands were busy undoing Matt's pants.

Matt moaned and shuddered, he could feel his sheath swelling and his tip poking out. Matt felt Shawn run his hands up and down the inside of his legs. The human's hands tracing trails through the fur, going as far back as just above his sensitive tail hole.

Matt's length sprung free, fully erect and exposed, as Shawn tugged off the fox's boxers. Tossing these aside he felt his own cock twitch and swell as he grasped the strange looking cock before him.

He had seen it when he had given the fox that hand job over a week ago. The tip was tapered. Purple veins ran down its red juicy length. At its base was a slight swollen section where Shawn now knew the fox's knot would form.

Grasping Matt's cock, Shawn expertly began pumping the shaft, slowly running his tongue up its length. He savoured the strange new flavour before swirling his tongue around Matt's sensitive tip. Pressing his lips against it, he allowed it to slip into his mouth. Matt moaned as his cock was slowly enveloped in warmth. He murred as Shawn began bobbing his head up and down, pausing to run his tongue up Matt's pulsing shaft.

Reaching down, Matt ran his paws through the human's head fur. Shuddering, he felt his knot begin to form as Shawn pumped and licked at his shaft. With a final lap at Matt's balls, Shawn stopped. Matt opened his eyes and looked at the human in confusion; Shawn smiled and pointed at Matt's partially swollen knot.

"Ever since I first saw that thing I've wanted to give it a try," Shawn said, crawling up until his mouth was level with Matt's head. Gently he nibbled on Matt's sensitive ears before whispering, "Do you want to show me what that feels like? Do you want to put it inside me?"

Unable to suppress a shudder, Matt nodded quickly. He wanted to bury his knot in this strange creature's tail hole. He wanted to mate and tie with him as Jake had done to him. Shawn smiled tearing off his clothes. He quickly got down on all fours, laughing to himself at the irony of being fucked doggy style by an actual canine.

Getting behind Shawn, Matt lined up his saliva covered cock with Shawn's tail hole. Pressing the tip against it he felt it resist slightly. With a sigh, Shawn relaxed himself just enough to allow Matt's cock to slip inside. Shawn winced in pain feeling himself being stretched as inch after inch of fox cock disappeared into his tight ass. It had been a long time since he had been fucked and he needed time to adjust.

Matt slowly but firmly pressed forward until his entire cock was buried in the human and their hips met. Matt paused a moment allowing Shawn to adjust to having his cock buried in him. With a shuddering breath, Shawn nodded for Matt to continue. Holding onto the human's hips Matt slowly withdrew until just the tip was left inside. Thrusting forward faster than before, his entire cock was encased once more.

Shawn reached beneath himself to grasp his cock, only to find that Matt had beaten him to it. Slowly he began pumping Shawn's cock in time with his thrusts, which were growing much faster.

"Faster," Shawn moaned

Happy to oblige Matt sped up, fucking the human hard and fast, his cock driving deeper than before. With each thrust, Shawn felt Matt's cock assault his prostate. Matt could feel Shawn's pre running down his hand, just as his own was lubing up the human.

Shawn felt himself growing closer, he was sure Matt was too. The fox's thrusts were becoming more erratic and his knot was beginning to swell. With each thrust his knot popped in and out of the human's tight ass.

Matt knew he had to tie with the human soon; else he wouldn't be able to get his knot in. Bending over the human he nibbled on Shawn's neck. Still thrusting hard, he ground his knot against Shawn's tight hole.

"I'm going to tie us ok?" Matt said panting.

Shawn responded with a moan as he felt himself nearing his peak. Thrusting hard he forced his swollen knot against the human's tail hole. Slowly it began slipping inside. Shawn cried out in pain as he was stretched to his limit. With a loud pop Matt's knot slipped inside him. Thrusting hard, limited by his knot, Matt buried himself as deep as he could. With Matt's knot pressing against his prostate it was all Shawn needed.

Crying out, his cock erupted spraying Matt's paw and his own chest and bed with cum. Feeling Shawn's ass clamping down around his cock, Matt moaned and thrust one final time. With a shudder and a howl, his cock exploded sending a torrent of cum deep into Shawn.

The pair, now fully connected, collapsed down on the cum covered bed. Gently, Matt rolled them onto their sides. Reaching down he pulled the blankets up over them. Murring, he nuzzled the human's neck. Shawn simply panted as he came down from his orgasm. His ass felt so full and slightly sore from the fucking he had been given. But the feeling of being so full and connected with Matt far out weighted the pain he had experienced.

"That was...wow" Shawn whispered. "I've never experienced anything like that before. I mean, I've been fucked...but wow that knot of yours."

"Glad you enjoyed it," Matt said blushing. "I hope I didn't hurt you though, my knot is kind of a lot to take."

"No, I'll be alright. A little sore but I'm sure I'll be feeling it tomorrow. It feels weird being so full though. How long are we going to be stuck like this?"

"It's going to take about fifteen to twenty minutes for my knot to go down," Matt said nervously. "I should have warned you before hand, you're not upset are you?"

"No it's ok, it feels good."

Matt smiled. Murring, he nuzzled the back of Shawn's neck. Shawn closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of the fox's furry arms wrapped around him, and his knot buried deep in his ass.

Suddenly the door flew open, slamming against the wall. Matt looked up with a look of surprise as he saw who stood there.