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Chapter 53: Unsettled Feelings

Faelen rode the bat Geoff made him, staring blankly at the clear night sky above him. It was rather beautiful, but it would've been nicer if the moon was full. He sighed heavily, thinking back over the fight. He tried to figure out what he did wrong, where he could have done better, and how to improve. Geoff and Liam kept glancing back at him, but Faelen ignored them.

Liam patted Snow's flank, "We are close to Nathanial's home, Snow, if you wish to meet us there. I know you do not care for travelling in this fashion." Snow growled and grumbled softly to Liam, probably giving him an earful, before vanishing. Micah was swooping around, enjoying himself immensely. Liam called out to him, "Careful when flying into the fog, Marks-kun, we do not know how deep it is in any given location, or what lies beneath it. You may fly head first into a tree or house."

Micah swooped over to fly in front of Liam, flying backwards so he could face him, "Okay. Is Nats all right? His magic is doing funny things. How are you going to... put him back together? I guess? What's it called when you put someone back into their body?"

Geoff chuckled, not very convincingly, "I hope it's not something that happens often enough to have a name."

Liam cocked an eyebrow, "Then I am guessing you did not read the paper entitled 'The Reintegration of Spectral Components with the Physical Components of the Person Complete, with Observations of the Resulting Reunification and the Ramifications of Repeated Disassociations and Reintegrations'?" Geoff's jaw dropped, stunned. Liam shrugged, "I am not surprised, it was a little known paper put forth by a discredited psychologist from Vienna in eighteen fifty-seven. It held interesting hypothesises, but as he could not produce a single verifiable instance of disassociation, let alone reintegration, his paper was never published in any reputable journal. I probably should have given you the title of the paper in German, but I do not think it would have made a difference." Geoff and Micah shook their heads. Faelen rubbed his paw pads together, thinking of the severe blisters he had twenty minutes ago. If he was a better Spirit he'd never had gotten that hurt. He heard Liam growl, "Faelen, it is not my place to scold, but you are not maintaining proper vigilance for potential threats to your charge. Wake up and mind your duty. You may sulk later."

"I wasn't sulking." Even he could hear the pout in his voice, he growled in annoyance, "Fine. We're almost home, well, at Nathanial's. I need to talk to you and Conor, sir."

He could see the wariness in Geoff's expression and heard the hesitation in his voice, "Okay...? About what?"

"I'll tell you then. It's important. I guess Da should be there, too." The bats started their descent, swooping down toward the roof of the house. He could see the peak of the roof poking out the fog, it must be thirty feet (nine metres) thick, now, and getting deeper. Faelen waited until they were a little lower and jumped off the bat. Geoff yelled in surprise and dove toward him, but Faelen plunged into the fog and mist-stepped to the pool patio, which was the closest door. "I'm over here, sir!" Geoff altered course and flew over, landing with a thump.

Geoff grabbed Faelen by the collar, catching him by surprise, and lifted him off the ground, "You fucking idiot! What the hells was that for!? Are you trying to give me a heart attack or something?"

Liam landed by the pool and climbed off his bat. He strode over, looking calm, but Faelen could smell his fear shifting to annoyance. He put his paw on Faelen's chest, "I know I had said you should have abilities to prevent you from sustaining damage should you fall a great distance into fog, but I am quite certain I also said that such an experiment should include appropriate safeguards. If you had wished to test the hypothesis, you should have jumped over the pool." He suddenly knocked Geoff's paw away with his free paw and pushed with the paw on Faelen's chest. Faelen yelped as he was thrown back a couple of metres and splashed into the pool. He surfaced, spluttering, "As you can see, the pool is quite capable of breaking your fall." Liam walked over, onto the surface of the water, and hauled Faelen up with both paws. He held Faelen before his face, his height meaning Faelen's hindpaws and ankles were still in the water. It was cold. Liam snarled, "Do not do such a thing without warning me first! Is that understood?" Faelen nodded, a little scared by Liam's reaction. "Good. Your boss is waiting for you, hurry and get out of the pool." Liam threw him out into the deep end and walked back to Geoff.

Geoff gave him a high-five and nodded, "Hurry up, Faelen. I want to... what was it, reintegrate Nathanial?" Liam nodded. Faelen melded into the fog and appeared by Geoff, his fur and clothes dry. Faelen patted his clothes, surprised by the side effect of his ability. "What's gotten into you?"

Faelen lowered his head, "Can we talk, now? With Conor and Da? I... I need to."

The lights in the sitting room flicked on, with all of the parents walking in with extremely grim faces. The Spirits were all manifested. Garret slid the door open, "In. Now. Get your asses downstairs this second." The smell of barely controlled fury rolled out of the room from all of the adults, tinged with relief. Micah meeped and folded his wings in to wherever they went, his eyes turning back to normal. His eyes rolled back into his head as he fell forward, Faelen reached over and caught him.

Micah's eyes flickered and he sighed, "So tired. My eyes hurt, my... everything hurts."

Garret growled, "Just be glad I don't believe in spanking or you'd really be hurting." Micah flinched and tried to burrow farther into Faelen's arms. Garret reached over and carefully took his son from Faelen, putting Micah's head on his shoulder. Micah whimpered a little, scared, but wrapped his arms and legs around his father as Garret put his paw under Micah's bare rump to hold him up. "I said in! Now! He stepped away from the door, letting the three teens inside. Avery turned and led the way to the basement with Walter. The teens followed quietly, even Liam smelt a little cowed and nervous. In the basement, Faelen could hear Jay and Ella talking to another person about Nathanial, they sounded a little deferential. He bet it was their boss or boss' boss.

Jay ran out of Nathanial's room, "Before you start, where is Nathanial's soul? We should hurry." Liam pulled out the tie pin and gave it to the Jackal. "Good. Carry on." He ran back.

Avery pointed toward the TV, "Stand." The teens lined up in front of the TV, with Avery and Garret sitting on the couch, while the other three stood behind it. Conor had a paw on Avery's shoulder, his blue-tinged fur bristling. Faelen wasn't sure if it was from anger, the electricity coming off Avery, or both. Avery hissed, "What the hells was that? What part of 'call for help before you need help' didn't you get? Chasing after someone you suspected was a Succubus definitely counts as 'needing help'. Then at the hospital you couldn't wait one minute for Jay and Ella to catch up? If you waited by that window they could've teleported right next to you. The rooms the Investigators were in had wards all over them so they couldn't see you or teleport there, and by the time they found you there was so much magic flying around, especially Demon magic, that they couldn't teleport anywhere nearby. Just one minute! One!"

Conor took over, "What was your self appointed mission, anyway, Geoff?" He answered before Geoff could find his voice, "Rescue Nathanial, wasn't it?" Geoff hesitated before nodding reluctantly. "I thought you rescued him before you went chasing after two Tainted Mages and a Succubus. Should I remind you how dangerous those Mages proved to be when we watched them fighting Nathanial, just a few hours ago? Or should I remind you of the stories you've heard of how dangerous Demon magic is? You know, the type of magic that damn Succubus uses!? Why the fuck did you go chasing after them? That's the job for people trained in combat! Investigators! Even Agents wouldn't go charging in like you did! If you wanted to track them and relay their position to Agents Ella or Jay, that's one thing, but to charge in headlong was damned foolish!"

Dirk stepped in, "Faelen. I'm really disappointed in you, you failed your duty in the worst possible way. You're supposed to keep Geoff safe, out of danger, not helping him throw his life into harms way like that. Why did you do it? Why didn't you stop him?"

Faelen lowered his head, "I... that's something I wanted to talk to you and Conor about, Da. I quit."

---

Nathanial leapt to his paws with a snarl, he was in an oddly shaped cave, with perfectly straight walls and a flat roof. Strange two-legged beings, prey, stood over him and tried to hold him down with an heavy net. Bright, unnatural, light sapped his strength, but he wasn't the alpha for nothing. He howled and spun, drawing on the darkness beneath the nets to shred the entangling material and send a jolt of magic into the source of the light. He could smell the fear coming off his prey, feeding him and restoring some of his lost strength. The darkness hid him from sight, but he allowed his voice to echo through the shadows, stoking their fear. Two of his prey seemed to tickle some vague memories: the lean, Jackal male, with the pointy ears and long whip-like tail; and the black furred female, a graceful Panther. The scent of the Jackal triggered another hunger that needed satisfying. He could feel the tip of his penis poke out of his sheath, but his strength needed to be restored first. The third two-legger, a black furred Badger, would be the first to fall. He called out for his pack and they appeared. The Beta, the second largest, appeared by his side. He looked to be much larger than proper at the moment, Nathanial must be weaker than he thought. He could feel his pack spread throughout the alien structure, and heard the sound of more prey in an adjoining cave. *It's time to feed.* He leapt forward with a snarl.

---

Geoff couldn't believe his ears, Faelen quitting? He knew Faelen seemed upset he didn't do as well against Gordon as he thought he should, but quitting? He could tell that the word made almost everyone else stop and stare in disbelief. He opened his mouth to ask Faelen if this was some sort of sick joke when he heard Nathanial suddenly snarl. The snarl was followed by a howl and the sound of lights shattering and blankets being ripped to shreds. Nathanial was using the same voice that Snow did as he growled and snarled, trigging fear in everyone else, except Micah. Micah jumped off Garret's lap, too fast for the older Akita to stop him, and ran with Geoff toward Nathanial's room. Suddenly four Mastiffs walked out of Micah's room and ran over to block their path, snarling and advancing in a hostile posture. Some more Mastiffs walked out of the stairwell and the two doors to the back part of the basement, they began to slowly circle around, lazily looking for openings.

Nicholas stepped out of his room and quickly chanted, putting a ring of flame around the entertainment area and cloaking himself in fire. "Get Nats to snap out of whatever it is, Geoff, I'll keep them away from everyone else." He pointed at the dogs blocking Geoff's path, and a heat ray shot out at them, forcing them to jump aside. Geoff ran into the room with Micah and a wall of fire sealed them in. Nick began slowly chanting or singing in the main room, his voice striking Geoff right in the groin, drawing his penis out of his sheath. The two large Shadow Mastiff's in this room seemed to be affected as much as he was. A glowing purple dome surrounded the Agents, standing between the Mastiffs and the Mages

"Snow? What are you doing?" Liam appeared beside Geoff, stepping out of the wall, making Geoff jump back in surprise. Snow growled and grumbled, "Nathanial wants you to attack us? He is hungry? Where is he? We can fix him some food immediately, it will take but a few minutes." The smaller Mastiff sniffed at the shield.

Jay was standing in front of Ella, arms held out to try to protect her, "One of these dogs is Nathanial! When we put his soul back in he suddenly turned into this and attacked! I don't think he knows where he is or who we are. I don't know how much of him is in there."

Nathanial growled at Jay when he said his name, and lunged at the shield after he finished talking, his claws scrapping against the glowing hemisphere with an ear splitting screech. A trail of darkness was left behind in the scratches, digging into the shield and causing cracks to form in it. Nathanial bayed again, pacing back and forth in front of the shield, licking his chops. Snow looked over his shoulder at Liam as he walked over to join Nathanial. Geoff growled, his stomach clenched at the sight of Nathanial looking so... feral; there was nothing there that would seem to indicate that this was Nathanial. "Nathanial? It's Geoff. What are you doing, love? I was worried about you, come over here, please, leave them alone. Call off your pack, please, Nathanial."

Nathanial seemed to notice them for the first time, his head lowered a little farther and his hackles came up fully as his lips pulled back revealing a maw full of very sharp teeth. His purple eyes flared and he slowly stalked forward, a deep rumbling growl shaking every bone in Geoff's body. Micah stepped back, shaking and whimpering, "N-Nats? Please, don't hurt us. You're my brother, right? You swore you'd protect me, keep me safe. Don't you remember me?" Nathanial stopped advancing, shaking his head.

Liam stepped forward, looking down sternly at Nathanial, "Nathanial Marks! Sit!" Nathanial sat, his confusion evident even through the darkness covering his face. Liam strode toward him and Nathanial suddenly yelped, backing up as he crouched low, tail between his legs.

Nathanial's features began to shift under the darkness, changing to Nathanial's normal ones. He was now crawling backward on arms and legs, not four legs. The darkness covering him faded away, exposing the terrified and naked pup. Liam stopped, confusion on his face, now. "L-Liam?" Nathanial was in the corner by his bed, "No, stop, Snow. Leave them alone, please." The sound of the Mastiffs in the other room stopped, "Please, Liam, you- you aren't going to chop off my tail, are you?"

Liam's jaw dropped, "What? Why would I do that?"

"I-I don't know. I just remember seeing you by a burning city, w-with a paw full of severed tails, laughing as you watched Furs running around on fire, or lying dead with their ears and tails cut off." The fear and confusion in Nathanial's voice seemed to cut Liam deeply.

Liam shook his head, "I... am not certain where you ever got such an idea from. I have no desire to cut anyone's tail off, let alone one of my friends. Now, lay down on your bed and let me examine you."

The Badger addressed Ella, "Agent Ella, is this normal behaviour for this pup? Your reports indicated he's unstable, but this... this is intolerable. Such instability, combined with the power and skill to take on two Investigators and win, makes him too big of a threat to be allowed free."

Geoff growled, echoed by Snow and the rest of the pack. Ella raised her paw, "No, this isn't normal behaviour, sir. He does have trouble controlling himself when he's placed under a lot of emotional stress, but so do most people, Mages included. He's just had to deal with more trauma this month than most people do in their whole lives. Even with all that, he's never, um, lost himself like this. It has to be a result of these latest events. Now, the Rottweiler is a Healer, let him do his work, sir. He's the most likely person to find out what happened,"

The Badger frowned, "This... barely weaned pup is a Healer?" Geoff winced and glanced at Liam. Liam's back was stiff and his hackles were raised, but he quickly relaxed. The Badger continued, "You, pup, where were you taught? What's your name?"

Liam started running his paws over Nathanial, "Where I was taught is none of your business and proper etiquette demands that you introduce yourself first, sirrah." Geoff wasn't familiar with the word, but the contempt in Liam's voice was unmistakable.

The Badger's face turned purple beneath his fur, and he quivered in fury on the brink of an explosion. Jay stepped between them, "Your pardon, sir. Smith-sensei, this is Victor Hugh, the Regional Director for the Agents, my boss. Sir, this is Liam Smith, a Monk and Healer, the proper address for him is Sensei or Smith-sensei."

Liam glanced over his shoulder, "I also accept sir, Mr. Smith, Master Smith, or any form of respectful address appropriate for my abilities and skills. Pleased to make your acquaintance." Liam's tone said the exact opposite, "Agent Hugh, my apologies for not shaking your paw, but I am rather busy. I will provide a proper introduction when I have finished caring for my patient. You may leave, now."

Jay winced and the Badger, who'd started to calm down when Jay was talking, began swelling up again. But being dismissed by Liam, in a tone that indicated Liam found him to be a nuisance, pushed him over the edge, "I may leave!? I may leave!?"

Liam cut in, his voice echoing oddly in Geoff's ears, "Yes. You need not repeat my orders. Leave. You are disturbing my patient." Hugh deflated and turned to walk out of the room, baffled. Ella and Jay followed, with Geoff bringing up the rear. Geoff had no idea why he left the room, but he felt he should. The door closed behind them.

Hugh stopped a few paces out from Nathanial's room, staring blankly. He turned to look at Ella, his voice incredulous, "He dismissed me, like I was some snot nosed kid who drooled all over his desk. And I left? What happened?"

Ella shook her head, "I don't know, sir. I've never experienced anything like it. My mind ward is still up from earlier, so it can't have been magic."

Geoff smiled, "That's Liam. He hates being treated rudely or without respect. He also hates being treated with too much respect. But, excuse me, I have an employee to talk to." Faelen was sitting on the couch between Dirk and Conor, deep in conversation. Garret was talking to Nick on the loveseat about something, and Walter was out of sight, somewhere. Avery was in Nathanial's chair, by Conor. Geoff walked in front of Faelen and sat on the coffee table, "Faelen, I don't accept your resignation. What the hell are you talking about, 'I quit'? You just told me that you swore an oath that you'd honour over your love and bond with Liam." He lowered his voice when he said that, glancing back at the still befuddled Mr. Hugh, "So why are you suddenly talking about quitting?"

Conor glanced over at Geoff, "We still aren't done, boy. I heard some interesting things about this afternoon, while you were gone." Geoff glanced at Nicholas, "I asked. The corpse of the Shadow Mastiff in the bathroom needed some explanation, but I'm betting Nicholas didn't tell me the full story. You will. First, though, you can talk to Faelen."

Geoff shook his head, "I-I can't tell you the full story, sir, it's, um," He glanced at Nicholas and Garret, "Not my place to say, and I can't offer any explanation for my actions without it."

Conor's expression became stormy, "We will talk, and you will tell me everything you can. Whether or not you think something justifies what you did. Now, Faelen." Conor suppressed his Spirit, and the other two adults followed. Geoff sighed and did the same, as did Faelen.

Faelen looked at the floor, "I will still serve you, sir, but I... can't be your bodyguard. I'm not fit. I want to step down so you can get somebody who can actually do the job. I'll still cook, clean, work out with you, and anything else you want, but I'm not fit... I'm not capable of being your bodyguard. I'm too weak. My powers are useless." The other Spirits sat back in shock.

Geoff sputtered, "Wh-what? What do you mean? You're a damned, uh, darned good bodyguard! You've memorized the maps of Halifax so you know where the closest emergency services are at all times. You always, er, almost always know exactly what's going on around us, what people are feeling so you can judge the best course of action. And, um, most important, you know me. It's possible, if unlikely, that I could find a Spirit with a more offence oriented power, but if they have to be constantly guessing what I'm likely to do, then it'd make both our lives extremely rough. You know what I'm going to do almost before I do. Sometimes you actually do know before I do, like the first day of school, when I wanted to see where Nathanial lived, or when I wanted to go run past his house that evening. I wasn't even sure about it before I actually did it. You knew. Besides, um, Da was right. I... shouldn't have, well, trying to fight Gordon, alone or with the other two, was dumb. I thought it was the right thing to do at the time, there was no way those two should be allowed to run free, not once we found out Gordon was a Demon Mage, and that he was working with Beriatana. Poor Lara." Geoff suddenly broke off, clapped a paw to his muzzle, the other to his stomach, and ran for the bathroom.

---

Nathanial lay on the bed, his mind a jumble of confused images and thoughts, as Liam dismissed some person or other. Micah closed the door behind him/her/them and came back over to sit at Nathanial's side, trying to be close but out of Liam's way. Snow lay at the bottom of the bed, looking up at Nathanial. For some reason whenever Nathanial looked at Liam he folded his ears back and curled up his tail, seeing blood and fire. Liam sat in the chair by Nathanial's bed, "Nathanial. Something happened, something beyond having your soul trapped in a tie pin for an hour. You are otherwise healthy, except your stress is higher than I have ever seen it. I will be required to medicate you if we do not find the source of this stress and deal with it. The tisane I have already provided will be insufficient, as will massages and any other form of relaxation. What happened? What did you see? Let us start with why you are afraid of me."

Nathanial shook his head, "I-I don't know. I see so many things bouncing around in my head, I can't pin them down."

Liam stood up, with a sigh, "Then pick an image, relevant to that topic, and describe it. Now, roll over, and I will massage you. Actually, start with the image of me holding the tails. Think of that image."

Nathanial had started to roll over, but stopped as his tail was exposed. He yelped and rolled away so his tail wasn't facing Liam, clapping his paws over it. He began shaking, again, but more violently than before. Micah rolled so his belly was against Nathanial's back and hugged him, he scooted up a little so he could bathe Nathanial's ears, "It's okay, Nats. I'm here."

"I-I'm so sorry, Micah. I d-didn't know how much I was hurting you. Please, forgive me." Nathanial felt tears running out of his eyes.

Micah's eyes went wide, but he licked Nathanial's ear before answering, "I forgive you, Nats, but, um, why are you sorry? You never hurt me, you've always been super, no, super-duper nice." He rubbed Nathanial's chest and kept licking around his ears.

Nathanial sniffled, "I've been pushing you so hard to do well in school, it's been making you miserable, but I-I don't want you to leave me, either."

Micah cocked his head to the side, "Leave you? Why would I do that? I love you, Nats. You're the bestest oldest brother! You're always nice, even when I'm bad. You punish me, but it always looks like it hurts you more than it does me, which kinda makes it worse. Then you cook good stuff, make sure I got clothes and things, it's like you're a dad, and best friend, and, and everything." He whispered the next bit, "Well, except sex stuff, but Nick makes sure I don't have much time away from that, so it's not so bad, but I'd still like you to do me sometimes."

Nathanial laughed a little, "No, Sprite. I couldn't keep up with you, I don't think anyone but Nick could. But I saw you, you're trying to be true to who you are as a Fey, but that's pulling you away from me, and you're trying to be a perfect little brother, what you think is the perfect little brother, but that's killing all the fun in your life. What's left is a hollow shadow of a life, like you don't exist."

Micah seemed extremely confused, "Huh?"

Nathanial automatically corrected him, "Pardon, not 'huh'. Oh, sorry, um, I'm, well, never mind. I don't know where all of this came from, but I want you to be happy. To be you, not a Mage, not a Fey, but both. Someone who knows how to have fun during the simple, everyday things, but can still focus and work when he needs to. I want you to be my brother, and... don't leave me for Faerie. But don't kill all the fun in your life. I'm repeating myself, I know, but I-I just don't know what I'm trying to say."

Micah leaned over Nathanial's side to lick his muzzle, "You're saying you love your baby brother, Nats. Calm down, please, I know I need to find balance, as Sensei says... often. And you say it too, in a different way, so I'm trying. It's hard, but in school they said that everyone finds it hard in puberty, and they weren't talking about our penises." He giggled, "Penises. Heh. Yeah, mines always hard, now. So's Nicks. Why? It happens to us more than most people it seems, even Sensei, and he's got Faelen to put in him."

Nathanial stopped shivering so much, the normal, almost normal act of talking to Micah about things was relaxing him. The subject matter was the odd part, "He's been affected by the Succubus, it seems to be really boosting his sex drive beyond normal, way beyond normal. For you, I think your mother was a Nymph. They, I'm not sure how many types there are, are similar to Succubae in that they're the 'sex' Fey like Succubae are 'sex' Demons. Are there different types of Nymphs, Liam?"

Liam shook his head, "There is only one type of Fey called Nymph, but there are many Fey that are highly sexual, just none quite as much or as renowned for it. I agree with your hypothesis, as it is the only known rational explanation for Micah's behaviour and capacity. Have you calmed enough to let me massage you? I can place something over your rump, if it would help you relax."

Nathanial looked at Liam and began shaking again, he shook his head, "N-no, j-just, maybe if you curled in front of me, like Micah's holding me, it'd remind me that I don't have a reason to be afraid."

Liam nodded, "Very well. The Director may return, so I will not undress or climb under the covers, if there are any left." He unbuckled his sword belt and placed it in the corner, along with his book bag. Nathanial raised his arm and let Liam lean against him. He wrapped his arm over Liam's chest and sniffed the fur on the Rottweiler's head. The faint herby smell seemed to permeate his lungs and move out into his body, pushing away the tension. Nathanial sighed and felt himself slip away to dreamland.